
riverrun,  past  Eve  and  Adam's,  from  swerve  of  shore  to  bend of  bay,  brings  us  by  a  commodius  vicus  of  recirculation  back  to Howth  Castle  and  Environs.
Sir  Tristram,  violer  d'amores,  fr'over  the  short  sea,  had  passen- core  rearrived  from  North  Armorica  on  this  side  the  scraggy isthmus  of  Europe  Minor  to  wielderfight  his  penisolate  war:  nor had  topsawyer's  rocks  by  the  stream  Oconee  exaggerated  themselse to  Laurens  County's  gorgios  while  they  went  doublin  their  mumper all  the  time:  nor  avoice  from  afire  bellowsed  mishe  mishe  to tauftauf  thuartpeatrick:  not  yet,  though  venissoon  after,  had  a kidscad  buttended  a  bland  old  isaac:  not  yet,  though  all's  fair  in vanessy,  were  sosie  sesthers  wroth  with  twone  nathandjoe.  Rot  a peck  of  pa's  malt  had  Jhem  or  Shen  brewed  by  arclight  and  rory end  to  the  regginbrow  was  to  be  seen  ringsome  on  the  aquaface.
The  fall  (bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntqnner- ronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthur- nuk!)  of  a  once  wallstrait  oldparr  is  retaled  early  in  bed  and  later on  life  down  through  all  christian  minstrelsy.  The  great  fall  of  the offwall  entailed  at  such  short  notice  the  pftjschute  of  Finnegan, erse  solid  man,  that  the  humptyhillhead  of  humself  prumptly  sends an  unquiring  one  well  to  the  west  in  quest  of  his  tumptytumtoes: and  their  upturapikepointandplace  is  at  the  knock  out  in  the  park where  oranges  have  been  laid  to  rust  upon  the  green  since  dev- linsfirst  loved  livvy.
What  clashes  here  of  wills  gen  wonts,  oystrygods  gaggin  fishy- gods!  Brekkek  Kekkek  Kekkek  Kekkek!  Koax  Koax  Koax!  Ualu Ualu  Ualu!  Quaouauh!  Where  the  Baddelaries  partisans  are  still out  to  mathmaster  Malachus  Micgranes  and  the  Verdons  cata- pelting  the  camibalistics  out  of  the  Whoyteboyce  of  Hoodie Head.  Assiegates  and  boomeringstroms.  Sod's  brood,  be  me  fear! Sanglorians,  save!  Arms  apeal  with  larms,  appalling.  Killykill- killy:  a  toll,  a  toll.  What  chance  cuddleys,  what  cashels  aired and  ventilated!  What  bidimetoloves  sinduced  by  what  tegotetab- solvers!  What  true  feeling  for  their's  hayair  with  what  strawng voice  of  false  jiccup!  O  here  here  how  both  sprowled  met  the duskt  the  father  of  fornicationists  but,  (O  my  shining  stars  and body!)  how  hath  fanespanned  most  high  heaven  the  skysign  of soft  advertisement!  But  was  iz?  Iseut?  Ere  were  sewers.^  The  oaks of  aid  now  they  lie  in  peat  yet  elms  leap  where  askes  lay.  Phall  if you  but  will,  rise  you  must:  and  none  so  soon  either  shall  the pharce  for  the  nunce  come  to  a  setdown  secular  phoenish.
Bygmester  Finnegan,  of  the  Stuttering  Hand,  freemen's  mau- rer,  lived  in  the  broadest  way  immarginable  in  his  rushlit  toofar- back  for  messuages  before  joshuan  judges  had  given  us  numbers or  Helviticus  committed  deuteronomy  (one  yeastyday  he  sternely struxk  his  tete  in  a  tub  for  to  watsch  the  future  of  his  fates  but  ere he  swiftly  stook  it  out  again,  by  the  might  of  moses,  the  very  wat- er was  eviparated  and  all  the  guenneses  had  met  their  exodus  so that  ought  to  show  you  what  a  pentschanjeuchy  chap  he  was!) and  during  mighty  odd  years  this  man  of  hod,  cement  and  edi- fices in  Toper's  Thorp  piled  buildung  supra  buildung  pon  the banks  for  the  livers  by  the  Soangso.  He  addle  liddle  phifie  Annie ugged  the  little  craythur.  Wither  hayre  in  bonds  tuck  up  your  part inher.  Oftwhile  balbulous,  mithre  ahead,  with  goodly  trowel  in grasp  and  ivoroiled  overalls  which  he  habitacularly  fondseed,  like Haroun  Childeric  Eggeberth  he  would  caligulate  by  multiplicab- les  the  alltitude  and  malltitude  until  he  seesaw  by  neatlight  of  the liquor  wheretwin  'twas  born,  his  roundhead  staple  of  other  days to  rise  in  undress  maisonry  upstanded  (joygrantit!),  a  waalworth  7^*14 of  a  skyerscape  of  most  eyeful  hoyth  entowerly,  erigenating  from
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next  to  nothing  and  celescalating  the  himals  and  all,  hierarchite(>      o  UJtlk^ titiptitoploftical,  with  a  burning  bush  abob  off  its  baubletop  and with  larrons  o'toolers  clittering  up  and  tombles  a'buckets  clotter- ing  down.
Of  the  first  was  he  to  bare  arms  and  a  name:  Wassaily  Boos- laeugh  of  Riesengeborg.  His  crest  of  huroldry,  in  vert  with ancillars,  troublant,  argent,  a  hegoak,  poursuivant,  horrid,  horned. His  scutschum  fessed,  with  archers  strung,  helio,  of  the  second. Hootch  is  for  husbandman  handling  his  hoe.  Hohohoho,  Mister Finn,  you're  going  to  be  Mister  Finnagain!  Comeday  morm  and, O,  you're  vine!  Sendday's  eve  and,  ah,  you're  vinegar!  Hahahaha, Mister  Funn,  you're  going  to  be  fined  again!
What  then  agentlike  brought  about  that  tragoady  thundersday this  municipal  sin  business.'^  Our  cubehonse  still  rocks  as  earwitness to  the  thunder  of  his  arafatas  but  we  hear  also  through  successive agesjthat  shebby  choruysh  of  unkalified  muzzlenimiissilebims  that would  blackguardise  the  whitestone  ever  hurtleturtled  out  of heaven.  Stay  us  wherefore  in  our  search  for  tighteousness,  O  Sus- tainer,  what  time  we  rise  and  when  we  take  up  to  toothmick  and before  we  lump  down  upown  our  leatherbed  and  in  the  night  and at  the  fading  of  the  stars !  For  a  nod  to  the  nabir  is  better  than  wink to  the  wabsanti.  Otherways  wesways  like  that  provost  scoffing bedoueen  the  jebel  and  the  jpysian  sea.  Cropherb  the  crunch- bracken  shall  decide.  Then  we'll  know  if  the  feast  is  a  flyday.  She has  a  gift  of  seek  on  site  and  she  allcasually  ansars  helpers,  the dreamydeary.  Heed !  Heed !  It  may  half  been  a  missfired  brick,  as some  say,  or  it  mought  have  been  due  to  a  collupsus  of  his  back promises,  as  others  looked  at  it.  (There  extand  by  now  one  thou- sand and  one  stories,  all  told,  of  the  same).  But  so  sore  did  abe ite  ivvy's  holired  abbles,  (what  with  the  wallhall's  horrors  of  rolls- rights,  carhacks,  stonengens,  kisstvanes,  tramtrees,  fargobawlers, autokinotons,  hippohobbilies,  streetfleets,  tournintaxes,  mega- phoggs,  circuses  and  wardsmoats  and  basilikerks  and  aeropagods and  the  hoyse  and  the  jollybrool  and  the  peeler  in  the  coat  and the  mecklenburk  bitch  bite  at  his  ear  and  the  merlinburrow  bur- rocks and  his  fore  old  porecourts,  the  bore  the  more,  and  his
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blightblack  workingstacks  at  twelvepins  a  dozen  and  the  noobi- busses  sleighding  along  Safetyfirst  Street  and  the  derryjellybies snooping  around  Tell-No-Tailors'  Corner  and  the  fumes  and  the hopes  and  the  strupithump  of  his  ville's  indigenous  romekeepers, homesweepers,  domecreepers,  thurum  and  thurum  in  fancymud murumd  and  all  the  uproor  from  all  the  aufroofs,  a  roof  for  may and  a  reef  for  hugh  butt  under  his  bridge  suits  tony)  wan  warn- ing Phill  filt  tippling  full.  His  howd  feeled  heavy,  his  hoddit  did shake.  (There  was  a  wall  of  course  in  erection)  Dimb!  He  stot- tered  from  the  latter.  Damb!  he  was  dud.  Dumb!  Mastabatoom, mastabadtomm,  when  a  mon  merries  his  lute  is  all  long.  For whole  the  world  to  see.
Shize.^  I  should  shee!  Macool,  Macool,  orra  whyi  deed  ye  diie.^ of  a  trying  thirstay  mournin.^  Sobs  they  sighdid  at  Fillagain's chrissormiss  wake,  all  the  hoolivans  of  the  nation,  prostrated  in their  consternation  and  their  duodisimally  profusive  plethora  of ululation.  There  was  plumbs  and  grumes  and  cherifFs  and  citherers and  raiders  and  cinemen  too.  And  the  all  gianed  in  with  the  shout- most  shoviality.  Agog  and  magog  and  the  round  of  them  agrog. To  the  continuation  of  that  celebration  until  Hanandhunigan's extermination!  Some  in  kinkin  corass,  more,  kankan  keening. Belling  him  up  and  filling  him  down.  He's  stiff  but  he's  steady  is Priam  Olim !  'Twas  he  was  the  dacent  gaylabouring  youth.  Sharpen his  pillowscone,  tap  up  his  bier!  E'erawhere  in  this  whorl  would  ye hear  sich  a  din  again.'*  With  their  deepbrow  fundigs  and  the  dusty fidelios.  They  laid  him  brawdawn  alanglast  bed.  With  a  bockalips of  finisky  fore  his  feet.  And  a  barrowload  of  guenesis  hoer  his  head. Tee  the  tootal  of  the  fluid  hang  the  twoddle  of  the  fuddled,  O !
Hurrah,  there  is  but  young  gleve  for  the  owl  globe  wheels  in view  which  is  tautaulogically  the  same  thing.  Well,  Him  a  being so  on  the  flounder  of  his  bulk  like  an  overgrown  babeling,  let  wee peep,  see,  at  Hom,  well,  see  peegee  ought  he  ought,  platterplate.  w Hum!  From  Shopalist  to  Bailywick  or  from  ashtun  to  baronoath or  from  Buythebanks  to  Roundthehead  or  from  the  foot  of  the bill  to  ireglint's  eye  he  calmly  extensolies.  And  all  the  way  (a horn!)  from  fjord  to  fjell  his  baywinds'  oboboes  shall  wail  him
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rockbound  (hoahoahoah !)  in  swimswamswum  and  all  the  livvy- long  night,  the  delldale  dalppling  night,  the  night  of  bluerybells, her  flittaflute  in  tricky  trochees  (O  carina!  O  carina!)  wake  him. With  her  issavan  essavans  and  her  patter jackmar tins  about  all them  inns  and  ouses.  Tilling  a  teel  of  a  tum,  telling  a  toll  of  a  tea- ry  turty  Taubling.  Grace  before  Glutton.  For  what  we  are,  gifs a  gross  if  we  are,  about  to  believe.  So  pool  the  begg  and  pass  the kish  for  crawsake.  Omen.  So  sigh  us.  Grampupus  is  fallen  down but  grinny  sprids  the  boord.  Whase  on  the  joint  of  a  desh.^  Fin- foefom  the  Fush.  Whase  be  his  baken  head.^  A  loaf  of  Singpan- try's  Kennedy  bread.  And  whase  hitched  to  the  hop  in  his  tayle.^ A  glass  of  Danu  U'Dunnell's  foamous  olde  Dobbelin  ayle.  But, lo,  as  you  would  quaffoff  his  fraudstuff  and  sink  teeth  through that  pyth  of  a  flowerwhite  bodey  behold  of  him  as  behemoth  for he  is  noewhemoe.  Finiche !  Only  a  fadograph  of  a  yestern  scene. Almost  rubicund  Salmosalar,  ancient  fromout  the  ages  of  the  Ag- apemonides,  he  is  smolten  in  our  mist,  woebecanned  and  packt away.  So  that  meal's  dead  off  for  summan,  schlook,  schlice  and goodridhirring.
Yet  may  we  not  see  still  the  brontoichthyan  form^outlined  a- slumbered,  even  in  our  own  nighttime  by  the  sedge  of  the  trout- ling  stream  that  Bronto  loved  and  Brunto  has  a  lean  on.  Hie  cuhat edilis.  Apud  libertinam  parvulam,  Whatif  she  be  in  flags  or  flitters, reekierags  or  sundyechosies,  with  a  mint  of  mines  or  beggar  a pinnyweight.  Arrah,  sure,  we  all  love  little  Anny  Ruiny,  or,  we mean  to  say,  lovelittle  Anna  Rayiny,  when  unda  her  brella,  mid piddle  med  puddle,  she  ninnygoes  nannygoes  nancing  by.  Yoh! Brontolone  slaaps,  yoh  snoores.  Upon  Benn  Heather,  in  Seeple Isout  too.  The  cranic  head  on  him,  caster  of  his  reasons,  peer  yu- thner  in  yondmist.  Whooth.'^  His  clay  feet,  swarded  in  verdigrass, stick  up  starck  where  he  last  fellonem,  by  the  mund  of  the  maga- zine wall,  where  our  maggy  seen  all,  with  her  sisterin  shawl. While  over  against  this  belles'  alliance  beyind  111  Sixty,  ollol- lowed  ill!  bagsides  of  the  fort,  bom,  tarabom,  tarabom,  lurk  the ombushes,  the  site  of  the  lyffing-in-wait  of  the  upjock  and  hock- ums.  Hence  when  the  clouds  roll  by,  jamey,  a  proudseye  view  is
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enjoyable  of  our  mounding's  mass,  now  Wallinstone  national museum,  with,  in  some  greenish  distance,  the  charmful  water- loose  country  and  the  two  quitewhite  villagettes  who  hear  show of  themselves  so  gigglesomes  minxt  the  follyages,  the  prettilees! Penetrators  are  permitted  into  the  museomound  free.  Welsh  and the  Paddy  Patkinses,  one  shelenk!  Redismembers  invalids  of  old guard  find  poussepousse  pousseypram  to  sate  the  sort  of  their  butt. For  her  passkey  supply  to  the  janitrix,  the  mistress  Kathe.  Tip.
This  the  way  to  the  museyroom.  Mind  your  hats  goan  in! Now  yiz  are  in  the  Willingdone  Museyroom.  This  is  a  Prooshi- ous  gunn.  This  is  a  ffrinch.  Tip.  This  is  the  flag  of  the  Prooshi- ous,  the  Cap  and  Soracer.  This  is  the  bullet  that  byng  the  flag  of the  Prooshious.  This  is  the  ffrinch  that  fire  on  the  Bull  that  bang the  flag  of  the  Prooshious.  Saloos  the  Crossgunn!  Up  with  your pike  and  fork!  Tip.  (Bullsfoot!  Fine!)  This  is  the  triplewon  hat  of Lipoleum.  Tip.  Lipoleumhat.  This  is  the  Willingdone  on  his same  white  harse,  the  Cokenhape.  This  is  the  big  Sraughter  Wil- lingdone, grand  and  magentic  in  his  goldtin  spurs  and  his  ironed dux  and  his  quarterbrass  woodyshoes  and  his  magnate's  gharters and  his  bangkok's  best  and  goliar's  goloshes  and  his  pullupon- easyan  wartrews.  This  is  his  big  wide  harse.  Tip.  This  is  the  three lipoleum  boyne  grouching  down  in  the  living  detch.  This  is  an inimyskilling  inglis,  this  is  a  scotcher  grey,  this  is  a  davy,  stoop- ing. This  is  the  bog  lipoleum  mordering  the  lipoleum  beg.  A Gallawghurs  argaumunt.  This  is  the  petty  lipoleum  boy  that was  nayther  bag  nor  bug.  Assaye,  assaye!  Touchole  Fitz  Tuo- mush.  Dirty  MacDyke.  And  Hairy  O'Hurry.  All  of  them arminus-varminus.  This  is  Delian  alps.  This  is  Mont  Tivel, this  is  Mont  Tipsey,  this  is  the  Grand  Mons  Injun.  This  is  the crimealine  of  the  alps  hooping  to  sheltershock  the  three  lipoleums. This  is  the  jinnies  with  their  legahorns  feinting  to  read  in  their handmade's  book  of  stralegy  while  making  their  war  undisides the  Willingdone.  The  jinnies  is  a  cooin  her  hand  and  the  jinnies  is a  ravin  her  hair  and  the  Willingdone  git  the  band  up.  This  is  big Willingdone  mormorial  tallowscoop  Wounderworker  obscides on  the  flanks  of  the  jinnies.  Sexcaliber  hrosspower.  Tip.  This
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is  me  Belchum  sneaking  his  phillippy  out  of  his  most  Awful Grimmest  Sunshat  Cromwelly.  Looted.  This  is  the  jinnies'  hast- ings  dispatch  for  to  irrigate  the  Willingdone.  Dispatch  in  thin red  lines  cross  the  shortfront  of  me  Belchum.  Yaw,  yaw,  yaw! Leaper  Orthor.  Fear  siecken!  Fieldgaze  thy  tiny  frow.  Hugact- ing.  Nap.  That  was  the  tictacs  of  the  jinnies  for  to  fontannoy  the Willingdone.  Shee,  shee,  shee!  The  jinnies  is  jillous  agincourting all  the  lipoleums.  And  the  lipoleums  is  gonn  boycottoncrezy  onto the  one  Willingdone.  And  the  Willingdone  git  the  band  up.  This is  bode  Belchum,  bonnet  to  busby,  breaking  his  secred  word  with  a ball  up  his  ear  to  the  Willingdone.  This  is  the  Willingdone's  hur- old  dispitchback.  Dispitch  desployed  on  the  regions  rare  of  me Belchum.  Salamangra!  Ayi,  ayi,  ayi!  Cherry  jinnies.  Figtreeyou! Damn  fairy  ann,  Voutre.  Willingdone.  That  was  the  first  joke  of Willingdone,  tic  for  tac.  Hee,  hee,  hee!  This  is  me  Belchum  in his  twelvemile  cowchooks,  weet,  tweet  and  stampforth  foremost, footing  the  camp  for  the  jinnies.  Drink  a  sip,  drankasup,  for  he's as  sooner  buy  a  guinness  than  he'd  stale  store  stout.  This  is  Roo- shious  balls.  This  is  a  ttrinch.  This  is  mistletropes.  This  is  Canon Futter  with  the  popynose.  After  his  hundred  days'  indulgence. This  is  the  blessed.  Tarra's  widdars !  This  is  jinnies  in  the  bonny bawn  blooches.  This  is  lipoleums  in  the  rowdy  howses.  This  is  the Willingdone,  by  the  splinters  of  Cork,  order  fire.  Tonnerre! (Bullsear!  Play!)  This  is  camelry,  this  is  floodens,  this  is  the solphereens  in  action,  this  is  their  mobbily,  this  is  panickburns. Almeidagad!  Arthiz  too  loose!  This  is  Willingdone  cry.  Brum! Brum!  Cumbrum!  This  is  jinnies  cry.  Underwetter!  Goat strip  Finnlambs!  This  is  jinnies  rinning  away  to  their  ouster- lists  dowan  a  bunkersheels.  With  a  nip  nippy  nip  and  a  trip  trip- py  trip  so  airy.  For  their  heart's  right  there.  Tip.  This  is  me  Bel- chum's  tinkyou  tankyou  silvoor  plate  for  citchin  the  crapes  in the  cool  of  his  canister.  Poor  the  pay!  This  is  the  bissmark  of  the marathon  merry  of  the  jinnies  they  left  behind  them.  This  is  the Willingdone  branlish  his  same  marmorial  tallowscoop  Sophy- Key-Po  for  his  royal  divorsion  on  the  rinnaway  jinnies.  Gam- bariste  della  porca!  Dalaveras  fimmieras!  This  is  the  pettiest
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of  the  lipoleums,  Toffeethief,  that  spy  on  the  Willingdone  from his  big  white  harse,  the  Capeinhope.  Stonewall  Willingdone is  an  old  maxy  montrumeny.  Lipoleums  is  nice  hung  bushel- lors.  This  is  hiena  hinnessy  laughing  alout  at  the  Willing- done. This  is  lipsyg  dooley  krieging  the  funk  from  the  hinnessy. This  is  the  hinndoo  Shimar  Shin  between  the  dooley  boy  and  the hinnessy.  Tip.  This  is  the  wixy  old  Willingdone  picket  up  the half  of  the  threefoiled  hat  of  lipoleums  fromoud  of  the  bluddle filth.  This  is  the  hinndoo  waxing  ranjymad  for  a  bombshoob. This  is  the  Willingdone  hanking  the  half  of  the  hat  of  lipoleums up  the  tail  on  the  buckside  of  his  big  white  harse.  Tip.  That  was the  last  joke  of  Willingdone.  Hit,  hit,  hit!  This  is  the  same  white harse  of  the  Willingdone,  Culpenhelp,  waggling  his  tailoscrupp with  the  half  of  a  hat  of  lipoleums  to  insoult  on  the  hinndoo  see- boy.  Hney,  hney,  hney!  (Bullsrag!  Foul!)  This  is  the  seeboy, madrashattaras,  upjump  anH  pumpim,  cry  to  the  Willingdone: Ap  Pukkaru!  Pukka  Yurap!  This  is  the  Willingdone,  bornstable ghentleman,  tinders  his  maxbotch  to  the  cursigan  Shimar  Shin. Basucker  youstead !  This  is  the  dooforhim  seeboy  blow  the  whole of  the  half  of  the  hat  of  lipoleums  off  of  the  top  of  the  tail  on  the back  of  his  big  wide  harse.  Tip  (Bullseye!  Game!)  How  Copen- hagen ended.  This  way  the  museyroom.  Mind  your  boots  goan out. Phew!
What  a  warm  time  we  were  in  there  but  how  keling  is  here  the airabouts !  We  nowhere  she  lives  but  you  mussna  tell  annaone  for the  lamp  of  Jig-a-Lanthern!  It's  a  candlelittle  houthse  of  a  month and  one  windies.  Downadown,  High  Downadown.  And  num- mered  quaintlymine.  And  such  reasonable  weather  too!  The  wa- grant  wind's  awalt'zaround  the  piltdowns  and  on  every  blasted knollyrock  (if  you  can  spot  fifty  I  spy  four  more)  there's  that gnarlybird  ygathering,  a  runalitde,  doalittle,  preealittle,  pouralittle, wipealittle,  kicksalittle,  severalittle,eatalittle,  whinealittle,  kenalittle, helfalittle,pelfalittle  gnarlybird.  A  very  tableland  of  bleakbardfields ! Under  his  seven  wrothschields  lies  one,  Lumproar.  His  glav  toside him.  Skud  ontorsed.  Our  pigeons  pair  are  flewn  for  northcliffs.
I
The  three  of  crows  have  flapped  it  southenly,  kraaking  of  de baccle  to  the  kvarters  of  that  sky  whence  triboos  answer;  Wail, 'tis  well!  She  niver  comes  out  when  Thon's  on  shower  or  when Thon's  flash  with  his  Nixy  girls  or  when  Thon's  blowing  toom- cracks  down  the  gaels  of  Thon.  No  nubo  no!  Neblas  on  you  liv! Her  would  be  too  moochy  afreet.  Of  Burymeleg  and  Bindme- rollingeyes  and  all  the  deed  in  the  woe.  Fe  fo  fom !  She  jist  does hopes  till  byes  will  be  byes.  Here,  and  it  goes  on  to  appear  now, she  comes,  a  peacefugle,  a  parody's  bird,  a  peri  potmother, a  pringlpik  in  the  ilandiskippy,  with  peewee  and  powwows  in beggybaggy  on  her  bickybacky  and  a  flick  flask  fleckflinging its  pixylighting  pacts'  huemeramybows,  picking  here,  pecking there,  pussypussy  plunderpussy.  But  it's  the  armitides  toonigh, militopucos,  and  toomourn  we  wish  for  a  muddy  kissmans  to  the minutia  workers  and  there's  to  be  a  gorgeups  truce  for  happinest childher  everwere.  Come  nebo  me  and  suso  sing  the  day  we sallybright.  She's  burrowed  the  coacher's  headlight  the  better  to pry  (who  goes  cute  goes  siocur  and  shoos  aroun)  and  all  spoiled goods  go  into  her  nabsack:  curtrages  and  rattlin  buttins,  nappy spattees  and  flasks  of  all  nations,  clavicures  and  scampulars,  maps, keys  and  woodpiles  of  haypennies  and  moonled  brooches  with bloodstaned  breeks  in  em,  boaston  nightgarters  and  masses  of shoesets  and  nickelly  nacks  and  foder  allmicheal  and  a  lugly  parson of  cates  and  howitzer  muchears  and  midgers  and  maggets,  ills  and ells  with  lofls  of  tofls  and  pleures  of  bells  and  the  last  sigh  that come  fro  the  hart  (bucklied!)  and  the  fairest  sin  the  sunsaw (that's  cearc!).  "With  Kiss.  Kiss  Criss.  Cross  Criss.  Kiss  Cross. Undo  lives  'end.  Slain.
How  bootifuU  and  how  truetowife  of  her,  when  strengly  fore- bidden,  to  steal  our  historic  presents  from  the  past  postpropheti- cals  so  as  to  will  make  us  all  lordy  heirs  and  ladymaidesses  of  a pretty  nice  kettle  of  fruit.  She  is  livving  in  our  midst  of  debt  and laffing  through  all  plores  for  us  (her  birth  is  uncontrollable),  with a  naperon  for  her  mask  and  her  sabboes  kickin  arias  (so  sair!  so solly!)  if  yous  ask  me  and  1  saack  you.  Hou!  Hou!  Gricks  may rise  and  Troysirs  fall  (there  being  two  sights  for  ever  a  picture)
for  in  the  byways  of  high  improvidence  that's  what  makes  life- work  leaving  and  the  world's  a  cell  for  citters  to  cit  in.  Let  young wimman  run  away  with  the  story  and  let  young  min  talk  smooth behind  the  butteler's  back.  She  knows  her  knight's  duty  while Luntum  sleeps.  Did  ye  save  any  tin.'^  says  he.  Did  I  what.'^  with a  grin  says  she.  And  we  all  like  a  marriedann  because  she  is  mer- cenary. Though  the  length  of  the  land  lies  under  liquidation (floote!)  and  there's  nare  a  hairbrow  nor  an  eyebush  on  this  glau- brous  phace  of  Herrschuft  Whatarwelter  she'll  loan  a  vesta  and hire  some  peat  and  sarch  the  shores  her  cockles  to  heat  and  she'll do  all  a  turfwoman  can  to  piff  the  business  on.  Paff.  To  puff  the blaziness  on.  Poffpoff.  And  even  if  Humpty  shell  fall  frumpty times  as  awkward  again  in  the  beardsboosoloom  of  all  our  grand remonstrancers  there'll  be  iggs  for  the  brekkers  come  to  mourn- him,  sunny  side  up  with  care.  So  true  is  it  that  therewhere's  a turnover  the  tay  is  wet  too  and  when  you  think  you  ketch  sight of  a  hind  make  sure  but  you're  cocked  by  a  hin.
Then  as  she  is  on  her  behaviourite  job  of  quainance  bandy, fruting  for  firstlings  and  taking  her  tithe,  we  may  take  our  review of  the  two  mounds  to  see  nothing  of  the  himples  here  as  at  else- where, by  sixes  and  sevens,  like  so  many  heegills  and  coUines, sitton  aroont,  scentbreeched  and  somepotreek,  in  their  swisha- wish  satins  and  their  taffetaffe  tights,  playing  Wharton's  Folly, at  a  treepurty  on  the  planko  in  the  purk.  Stand  up,  mickos! Make  strake  for  minnas!  By  order,  Nicholas  Proud.  We  may  see and  hear  nothing  if  we  choose  of  the  shortlegged  bergins  off Corkhill  or  the  bergamoors  of  Arbourhill  or  the  bergagambols of  Summerhill  or  the  bergincellies  of  Miseryhill  or  the  country- bossed  bergones  of  Constitutionhill  though  every  crowd  has  its several  tones  and  every  trade  has  its  clever  mechanics  and  each harmonical  has  a  point  of  its  own,  Olaf's  on  the  rise  and  Ivor's on  the  lift  and  Sitric's  place's  between  them.  But  all  they  are  all there  scraping  along  to  sneeze  out  a  likelihood  that  will  solve and  salve  life's  robulous  rebus,  hopping  round  his  middle  like kippers  on  a  griddle,  O,  as  he  lays  dormont  from  the  macroborg of  Holdhard  to  the  microbirg  of  Pied  de  Poudre.  Behove  this
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sound  of  Irish  sense.  Really?  Here  English  might  be  seen. Royally?  One  sovereign  punned  to  petery  pence.  Regally?  The silence  speaks  the  scene.  Fake!
So  This  Is  Dyoublong?
Hush!  Caution!  Echoland!
How  charmingly  exquisite!  It  reminds  you  of  the  outwashed engravure  that  we  used  to  be  blurring  on  the  blotchwall  of  his innkempt  house.  Used  they?  (I  am  sure  that  tiring  chabelshovel- ler  with  the  mujikal  chocolat  box,  Miry  Mitchel,  is  listening)  I say,  the  remains  of  the  outworn  gravemure  where  used  to  be blurried  the  Ptollmens  of  the  Incabus.  Used  we?  (He  is  only  pre- tendant  to  be  stugging  at  the  jubalee  harp  from  a  second  existed lishener,  Fiery  Farrelly.)  It  is  well  known.  Lokk  for  himself  and see  the  old  butte  new.  Dbln.  W.  K.  O.  O.  Hear?  By  the  mauso- lime  wall.  Fimfim  fimfim.  With  a  grand  funferall.  Fumfum  fum- fum.  'Tis  optophone  which  ontophanes.  List!  Wheatstong^ magic  Iyer.  They  will  be  tuggling  foriver.  They  will  be  lichening for  allof.  They  will  be  pretumbling  forover.  The  harpsdischord shall  be  theirs  for  ollaves.
Four  things  therefore,  saith  our  herodotary  Mammon  Lujius in  his  grand  old  historiorum,  wrote  near  Boriorum,  bluest  book in  baile's  annals,  f.t.  in  Dyfflinarsky  ne'er  sail  fail  til  heathersmoke and  cloudweed  Eire's  ile  sail  pall.  And  here  now  they  are,  the  fear of  um.  T.  Totities !  Unum.  (Adar.)  A  bulbenboss  surmounted  up- on an  alderman.  Ay,  ay!  Duum.  (Nizam.)  A  shoe  on  a  puir  old wobban.  Ah,  ho!  Triom.  (Tamuz.)  An  auburn  mayde,  o'brine a'bride,  to  be  desarted.  Adear,  adear!  Quodlihus,  (Marchessvan.)  A penn  no  weightier  nor  a  polepost.  And  so.  And  all.  (Succoth.)
So,  how  idlers'  wind  turning  pages  on  pages,  as  innocens  with anaclete  play  popeye  antipop,  the  leaves  of  the  living  in  the  boke of  the  deeds,  annals  of  themselves  timing  the  cycles  of  events grand  and  national,  bring  fassilwise  to  pass  how.
1 132  A.D.  Men  like  to  ants  or  emmets  wondern  upon  a  groot hwide  Whallfisk  which  lay  in  a  Runnel.  Blubby  wares  upat  Ub- lanium.
566  A.D.  On  Baalfire's  night  of  this  year  after  deluge  a  crone  that
13
hadde  a  wickered  Kish  for  to  hale  dead  turves  from  the  bog  look- it  under  the  blay  of  her  Kish  as  she  ran  for  to  sothisfeige  her  cow- rieosity  and  be  me  sawl  but  she  found  hersell  sackvulle  of  swart goody  quickenshoon  and  small  illigant  brogues,  so  rich  in  sweat. Blurry  works  at  Hurdlesford.
(Silent.)
566  A.D.  At  this  time  it  out  that  a  brazenlockt  damsel  grieved {sobralasolas/)  because  that  Puppette  her  minion  was  ravisht  of  her by  the  ogre  Puropeus  Pious.  Bloody  wars  in  Ballyaughacleeagh- bally.
1 132  A.D.  Two  sons  at  an  hour  were  born  until  a  goodman and  his  hag.  These  sons  called  themselves  Caddy  and  Primas. Primas  was  a  santryman  and  drilled  all  decent  people.  Caddy went  to  Winehouse  and  wrote  o  peace  a  farce.  Blotty  words  for Dublin.
Somewhere,  parently,  in  the  ginnandgo  gap  between  antedilu- vious  and  annadominant  the  copyist  must  have  fled  with  his scroll.  The  billy  flood  rose  or  an  elk  charged  him  or  the  sultrup worldwright  from  the  excelsissimost  empyrean  (bolt,  in  sum) carthspake  or  the  Dannamen  gallous  banged  pan  the  bliddy  du- ran.  A  scribicide  then  and  there  is  led  off  under  old's  code  with some  fine  covered  by  six  marks  or  ninepins  in  metalmen  for  the sake  of  his  labour's  dross  while  it  will  be  only  now  and  again  in our  rear  of  o'er  era,  as  an  upshoot  of  military  and  civil  engage- ments, that  a  gynecure  was  let  on  to  the  scuffold  for  taking  that same  fine  sum  covertly  by  meddlement  with  the  drawers  of  his neighbour's  safe.
Now  after  all  that  farfatch'd  and  peragrine  or  dingnant  or  clere lift  we  our  ears,  eyes  of  the  darkness,  from  the  tome  of  Liber  Li- vidus  and,  (toh!),  how  paisibly  eirenical,  all  dimmering  dunes and  gloamering  glades,  selfstretches  afore  us  our  fredeland's  plain! Lean  neath  stone  pine  the  pastor  lies  with  his  crook;  young  pric- ket by  pricket's  sister  nibbleth  on  returned  viridities;  amaid  her rocking  grasses  the  herb  trinity  shams  lowliness;  skyup  is  of  ever- grey.  Thus,  too,  for  donkey's  years.  Since  the  bouts  of  Hebear and  Hairyman  the  cornflowers  have  been  staying  at  Ballymun,
M
the  duskrose  has  choosed  out  Goatstown*s  hedges,  twolips  have pressed  togatherthem  by  sweet  Rush,  townland  of  twinedlights, the  whitethorn  and  the  redthorn  have  fairygeyed  the  mayvalleys of  Knockmaroon,  and,  though  for  rings  round  them,  during  a chiliad  of  perihelygangs,  the  Formoreans  have  brittled  the  too- ath  of  the  Danes  and  the  Oxman  has  been  pestered  by  the  Fire- bugs and  the  Joynts  have  thrown  up  jerrybuilding  to  the  Kevan- ses  and  Litde  on  the  Green  is  childsfather  to  the  City  (Year! Year!  And  laughtears!),  these  paxsealing  buttonholes  have  quad- rilled  across  the  centuries  and  whiff  now  whafft  to  us,  fresh  and made-of-all-smiles  as,  on  the  eve  of  Killallwho.
The  babbelers  with  their  thangas  vain  have  been  (confusium hold  them!)  they  were  and  went;  thigging  thugs  were  and  hou- hnhymn  songtoms  were  and  comely  norgels  were  and  poUyfool fiansees.  Menn  have  thawed,  clerks  have  surssurhummed  ,  the blond  has  sought  of  the  brune:  Elsekiss  thou  may,  mean  Kerry piggy?;  and  the  duncledames  have  countered  with  the  hellish  fel- lows: Who  ails  tongue  coddeau,  aspace  of  dumbillsilly?  And  they fell  upong  one  another:  and  themselves  they  have  fallen.  And still  nowanights  and  by  nights  of  yore  do  all  bold  floras  of  the field  to  their  shyfaun  lovers  say  only:  Cull  me  ere  I  wilt  to  thee!: and,  but  a  little  later:  Pluck  me  whilst  I  blush!  Well  may  they wilt,  marry,  and  profusedly  blush,  be  troth!  For  that  saying  is  as old  as  the  howitts.  Lave  a  whale  a  while  in  a  whillbarrow  (isn't it  the  truath  Fm  tallin  ye?)  to  have  fins  and  flippers  that  shimmy and  shake.  Tim  Timmycan  timped  hir,  tampting  Tam.  Fleppety! Flippety!  Fleapow!
Hop!
In  the  name  of  Anem  this  carl  on  the  kopje  in  pelted  thongs  a parth  a  lone  who  the  joebiggar  be  he?  Forshapen  his  pigmaid hoagshead,  shroonk  his  plodsfoot.  He  hath  locktoes,  this  short- shins,  and,  Obeold  that's  pectoral,  his  mammamuscles  most mousterious.  It  is  slaking  nuncheon  out  of  some  thing's  brain pan.  Me  seemeth  a  dragon  man.  He  is  almonthst  on  the  kiep fief  by  here,  is  Comestipple  Sacksoun,  be  it  junipery  or  febrew- ery,  marracks  or  alebrill  or  the  ramping  riots  of  pouriose  and
15
froriose.  What  a  quhare  soort  of  a  mahan.  It  is  evident  the  mich- indaddy.  Lets  we  overstep  his  fire  defences  and  these  kraals  of slitsucked  marrogbones.  (Cave!)  He  can  prapsposterus  the  pil- lory way  to  Hirculos  pillar.  Come  on,  fool  porterfull,  hosiered women  blown  monk  sewer?  Scuse  us,  chorley  guy!  You  toller- day  donsk?  N.  You  tolkatiff  scowegian?  Nn.  You  spigotty  an- glease?  Nnn.  You  phonio  saxo?  Nnnn.  Clear  all  so!  'Tis  a  Jute. Let  us  swop  hats  and  excheck  a  few  strong  verbs  weak  oach  ea- ther  yapyazzard  abast  the  blooty  creeks.
Jute.  —  Yutah!
Mutt.  —  Mukk's  pleasurad.
Jute.  —  Are  you  jeff?
Mutt.  —  Somehards.
Jute.  —  But  you  are  not  jefFmute.^
Mutt.  —  Noho.  Only  an  utterer.
Jute.  —  Whoa.'^  Whoat  is  the  mutter  with  you.'^
Mutt.  —  I  became  a  stun  a  stummer.
Jute.  —  What  a  hauhauhauhaudibble  thing,  to  be  cause!  How, Mutt.^
Mutt.  —  Aput  the  buttle,  surd. Jute.  —  Whose  poddle.'^  Wherein.'^
Mutt.  —  The  Inns  of  Dungtarf  where  Used  awe  to  be  he. Jute.  —  You  that  side  your  voise  are  almost  inedible  to  me.
Become  a  bitskin  more  wiseable,  as  if  I  were
you.
Mutt.  —  Has?  Has  at?  Hasatency?  Urp,  Boohooru!  Booru Usurp!  I  trumple  from  rath  in  mine  mines  when  I rimimirim!
Jute.  —  One  eyegonblack.  Bisons  is  bisons.  Let  me  fore  all your  hasitancy  cross  your  qualm  with  trink  gilt.  Here have  sylvan  coyne,  a  piece  of  oak.  Ghinees  hies  good for  you.
Mutt.  —  Louee,  louee!  How  wooden  I  not  know  it,  the  intel- lible  greytcloak  of  Cedric  Silkyshag!  Cead  mealy faulty  rices  for  one  dabblin  bar.  Old  grilsy  growlsy! He  was  poached  on  in  that  eggtentical  spot.  Here
1^
where  the  liveries,  Monomark.  There  where  the  mis-
sers  moony,  Minnikin  passe. Jute.  —  Simply  because  as  Taciturn  pretells,  our  wrongstory-
shortener,  he  dumptied  the  wholeborrow  of  rubba-
ges  on  to  soil  here. Mutt.  —  Just  how  a  puddinstone  inat  the  brookcells  by  a
riverpool.
Jute.  —  Load  Allmarshy !  Wid  wad  for  a  norse  like?
Mutt.  —  Somular  with  a  bull  on  a  clompturf.  Rooks  roarum rex  roome !  I  could  snore  to  him  of  the  spumy  horn, with  his  woolseley  side  in,  by  the  neck  I  am  sutton on,  did  Brian  d'  of  Linn.
Jute.  —  Boildoyle  and  rawhoney  on  me  when  I  can  beuraly forsstand  a  weird  from  sturk  to  finnic  in  such  a  pat- what  as  your  rutterdamrotter.  Onheard  of  and  um- scene!  Gut  aftermeal!  See  you  doomed.
Mutt.  —  Quite  agreem.  Bussave  a  sec.  Walk  a  dun  blink roundward  this  albutisle  and  you  skull  see  how  olde ye  plaine  oF  my  Liters,  hunfree  and  ours,  where  wone to  wail  whimbrel  to  peewee  o'er  the  saltings,  where wilby  citie  by  law  of  isthmon,  where  by  a  droit  of signory,  icefloe  was  from  his  Inn  the  Byggning  to whose  Finishthere  Punct.  Let  erehim  ruhmuhrmuhr. Mearmerge  two  races,  swete  and  brack.  Morthering rue.  Hither,  craching  eastuards,  they  are  in  surgence: hence,  cool  at  ebb,  they  requiesce.  Countlessness  of  -^^ livestories  have  netherfallen  by  this  plage,  flick  as flowflakes,  litters  from  aloft,  like  a  waast  wizzard  all  of whirlworlds.  Now  are  all  tombed  to  the  mound,  isges to  isges,  erde  from  erde.  Pride,  O  pride,  thy  prize!
Jute.  —  'Stench!
Mutt.  —  Fiatfuit!  Hereinunder  lyethey.  Llarge  by  the  smal  an' everynight  life  olso  th'estrange,  babylone  the  great- grandhotelled  with  tit  tit  tittlehouse,  alp  on  earwig, drukn  on  ild,  likeas  equal  to  anequal  in  this  sound seemetery  which  iz  leebez  luv.
Jute.  —  'Zmorde!
Mutt.  —  Meldundleize!  By  the  fearse  wave  behoughted.  Des- pond's  sung.  And  thanacestross  mound  have  swollup them  all.  This  ourth  of  years  is  not  save  brickdust and  being  humus  the  same  roturns.  He  who  runes may  rede  it  on  all  fours.  O'c'stle,  nVc*stle,  tr'c'stle, crumbling!  Sell  me  sooth  the  fare  for  Humblin!  Hum- blady  Fair.  But  speak  it  allsosifdy,  moulder!  Be  in your  whisht!
Jute.  —  Whysht.^^
Mutt.  —  The  gyant  Forficules  with  Amni  the  fay. Jute.  —  Howe.'^
Mutt.  —  Here  is  viceking's  graab. Jute.  —  Hwaad  !
Mutt.  —  Ore  you  astoneaged,  jute  you.'*
Jute.  —  Oye  am  thonthorstrok,  thing  mud.
(Stoop)  if  you  are  abcedminded,  to  this  daybook,  what  curios of  signs  (please  stoop),  in  this  allaphbed!  Can  you  rede  (since We  and  Thou  had  it  out  already)  its  world.'^  It  is  the  same  told of  all.  Many.  Miscegenations  on  miscegenations.  Tieckle.  They lived  und  laughed  ant  loved  end  left.  Forsin.  Thy  thingdome  is given  to  the  Meades  and  Porsons.  The  meandertale,  aloss  and again,  of  our  old  Heidenburgh  in  the  days  when  Head-in- Clouds walked  the  earth.  In  the  ignorance  that  iniplies  impression  that Jmits  knowledge  that  find^s  the  nameform  that  whets'^tliV^^ts  that co'hvfy  contacts  that  sweet^  sensation  that  drivei^  desire  that adheres  to  attachment  that  dogs  death  that  bitches  birth  that  en- tails the  ensuance  of  existentiality.  But  with  a  rush  out  of  his navel  reaching  the  reredos  of  Ramasbatham.  A  terricolous  vively- onview  this;  queer  and  it  continues  to  be  quaky.  AJ^tch,  ^^It, an(e^share  the  pourquose  of  which  was  tcfc^say  th^ji^rthcrust  at all  o^hours,  furrowards,  bagawards,  like  yoxen  at  the  turnpaht. Here  say  figurines  billycoose  arming  and  mounting.  Mounting  and arming  bellicose  figurines  see  here.  Futhorc,  this  liffle  efEngee  is  for a  firefing  called  a  flintforfall.  Face  at  the  eased!  O I  fay!  Face  at  the waist!  Ho,  you  fie!  Upwap  and  dump  em,  "^lace  to  U^ace!  When  a
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V0
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part  so  ptee  does  duty  for  the  holos  we  soon  grow  to  use  of  an allforabit.  Here  (please  to  stoop)  are  selveran  cued  peteet  peas  of quite  a  pecuniar  interest  inaslittle  as  they  are  the  pellets  that  make the  tomtummy's  pay  roll.  Right  rank  ragnar  rocks  and  with  these rox  orangotangos  rangled  rough  and  rightgorong.  Wisha,  wisha, whydidtha?  Thik  is  for  thorn  that's  thuck  in  its  thoil  like  thum- fool's  thraitor  thrust  for  vengeance.  What  a  mnice  old  mness  it all  mnakes!  A  rniddenhide  hoard  of  objects!  Olives,  beets,  kim- mells,  dollies,  alfrids,  beatties,  cormacks  and  daltons.  Owlets'  eegs (O  stoop  to  please!)  are  here,  creakish  from  age  and  all  now quite  epsilene,  and  oldwolldy  wobblewers,  haudworth  a  wipe  o grass.  Sss!  See  the  snake  wurrums  everyside!  Our  durlbin  is sworming  in  sneaks.  They  came  to  our  island  from  triangular Toucheaterre  beyond  the  wet  prairie  rared  up  in  the  midst  of  the cargon  of  prohibitive  pomefructs  but  along  landed  Paddy  Wip- pingham  and  the  his  garbagecans  cotched  the  creeps  of  them pricker  than  our  whosethere  outofman  could  quick  up  her  whats- thats.  Somedivide  and  sumthelot  but  the  tally  turns  round  the same  balifuson.  Racketeers  and  bottloggers.
Axe  on  thwacks  on  thracks,  axenwise.  One  by  one  place  one  \ be  three  dittoh  and  one  before.  Two  nursus  one  make  a  plaus- ible free  and  idim  behind.  Starting  off  with  a  big  boaboa  and  three- legged  calvers  and  ivargraine  jadesses  with  a  message  in  their mouths.  And  a  hundreadfilled  unleaven weight  of  liberorumqueue       ^  ^r^^ to  con  an  we  can  till  allhorrors  eve.  What  a  meanderthalltale  to  "^J^^, unfurl  and  with  what  an  end  in  view  of  squattor  and  anntisquattor and  postproneauntisquattor!  To  say  too  us  to  be  every  tim,  nick  orf^^^ and  larry  of  us,  sons  of  the  sod,  sons,  littlesons,  yea  and  lealittle- sons,  when  usses  not  to  be,  every  sue,  siss  and  sally  of  us,  dugters of  Nan!  Accusative  ahnsire!  Damadam  to  infinities!
True  there  was  in  nillohs  dieybos  as  yet  no  lumpend  papeer in  the  waste  and  mightmountain  Penn  still  groaned  for  the  micies to  let  flee.  All  was  of  ancientry.  You  gave  me  a  boot  (signs  on it!)  and  I  ate  the  wind.  I  quizzed  you  a  quid  (with  for  what'^)  and you  went  to  the  quod.  But  the  world,  mind,  is,  was  and  will  be writiiig  its  own  wrunes  for  ever,  man,  on  all  matters  that  fall
under  the  ban  of  our  infrarational  senses  fore  the  last  milch- camel,  the  heartvein  throbbing  between  his  eyebrowns,  has  still  to moor  before  the  tomb  of  his  cousin  charmian  where  his  date  is tethered  by  the  palm  that's  hers.  But  the  horn,  the  drinking,  the day  of  dread  are  not  now.  A  bone,  a  pebble,  a  ramskin;  chip  them, chap  them,  cut  them  up  allways;  leave  them  to  terracook  in  the muttheringpot;  and  Gutenmorg  with  his  crpmagnom  charter, tintingfast  and  great  primer  must  once  for  omniboss  step  ru- brickredd  out  of  the  wordpress  else  is  there  no  virtue  more  in  al- cohoran.  For  that  (the  rapt  one  warns)  is  what  papyr  is  meed of,  made  of,  hides  and  hints  and  misses  in  prints.  Till  ye  finally (though  not  yet  endlike)  meet  with  the  acquaintance  of  Mister Typus,  Mistress  Tope  and  all  the  little  typtopies.  Fillstup.  So  you need  hardly  spell  me  how  every  word  will  be  bound  over  to  carry three  score  and  ten  toptypsical  readings  throughout  the  book  of Doublends  Jined  (may  his  forehead  be  darkened  with  mud  who would  sunder!)  till  Daleth,  mahomahouma,  who  oped  it  closeth thereof  the.  Dor.
Cry  not  yet!  There's  many  a  smile  to  Nondum,  with  sytty maids  per  man,  sir,  and  the  park's  so  dark  by  kindlelight.  But look  what  you  have  in  your  handself!  The  movibles  are  scrawl- ing in  motions,  marching,  all  of  them  ago,  in  pitpat  and  zingzang for  every  busy  eerie  whig's  a  bit  of  a  torytale  to  tell.  One's  upon a  thyme  and  two's  behind  their  lettice  leap  and  three's  among  the strubbely  beds.  And  the  chicks  picked  their  teeths  and  the  domb- key  he  begay  began.  You  can  ask  your  ass  if  he  believes  it.  And so  cuddy  me  only  wallops  have  heels.  That  one  of  a  wife  with folty  barnets.  For  then  was  the  age  when  hoops  ran  high.  Of  a noarch  and  a  chopwife;  of  a  pomme  full  grave  and  a  fammy  of levity;  or  of  golden  youths  that  wanted  gelding;  or  of  what  the mischievmiss  made  a  man  do.  Malmarriedad  he  was  reverso- gassed  by  the  frisque  of  her  frasques  and  her  prytty  pyrrhique. Maye  faye,  she's  la  gaye  this  snaky  woman !  From  that  trippiery toe  expectungpelick !  Veil,  volantine,  valentine  eyes.  She's  the very  besch  Winnie  blows'  Nay  on  good.  Flou  inn,  flow  ann. Hohore!  So  it's  sure  it  was  her  not  we!  But  lay  it  easy,  gentle
mien,  we  are  in  rearing  of  a  norewhig.  So  weenybeeny-
veeny teeny.  Comsy  see!  Het  wis  if  ee  newt.  Lissom!  lissom!
I  am  doing  it.  Hark,  the  corne  entreats!  And  the  larpnotes  .
prittle.  ^4?  m'^-"
It  was  of  a  night,  late,  lang  time  agone,  in  an  auldstane  eld, when  Adam  was  delvin  and  his  madameen  spinning  watersilts, when  mulk  mountynotty  man  was  everybully  and  the  first  leal ribberrobber  that  ever  had  her  ainway  everybuddy  to  his  love- saking  eyes  and  everybilly  lived  alove  with  everybiddy  else,  and Jarl  van  Hoother  had  his  burnt  head  high  up  in  his  lamphouse, laying  cold  hands  on  himself.  And  his  two  little  jiminies,  cousins of  ourn,  Tristopher  and  Hilary,  were  kickaheeling  their  dummy on  the  oil  cloth  flure  of  his  homerigh,  castle  and  earthenhouse. And,  be  dermot,  who  come  to  the  keep  of  his  inn  only  the  niece- of-his-in-law,  the  prankquean.  And  the  prankquean  pulled  a  rosy one  and  made  her  wit  foreninst  the  dour.  And  she  lit  up  and  fire- land  was  ablaze.  And  spoke  she  to  the  dour  in  her  petty  perusi- enne:  Mark  the  Wans,  why  do  I  am  alook  alike  a  poss  of  porter- pease.'^  And  that  was  how  the  skirtmisshes  began.  But  the  dour handworded  her  grace  in  dootch  nossow:  Shut!  So  her  grace o' malice  kidsnapped  up  the  jiminy  Tristopher  and  into  the  shan- dy westerness  she  rain,  rain,  rain.  And  Jarl  van  Hoother  war- lessed  after  her  with  soft  dovesgall:  Stop  deef  stop  come  back  to my  earin  stop.  But  she  swaradid  to  him:  Unlikelihud.  And  there was  a  brannewail  that  same  sabboath  night  of  falling  angles  some- where in  Erio.  And  the  prankquean  went  for  her  forty  years' walk  in  Tourlemonde  and  she  washed  the  blessings  of  the  love- spots  off  the  jiminy  with  soap  sulliver  suddles  and  she  had  her four  owlers  masters  for  to  tauch  him  his  tickles  and  she  convor- ted  him  to  the  onesure  allgood  and  he  became  a  luderman.  So  then she  started  to  rain  and  to  rain  and,  be  redtom,  she  was  back  again at  Jarl  van  Hoother's  in  a  brace  of  samers  and  the  jiminy  with her  in  her  pinafrond,  lace  at  night,  at  another  time.  And  where did  she  come  but  to  the  bar  of  his  bristolry.  And  Jarl  von  Hoo- ther had  his  baretholobruised  heels  drowned  in  his  cellarmalt, shaking  warm  hands  with  himself  and  the  jimminy  Hilary  and
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the  dummy  in  their  first  infancy  were  below  on  the  tearsheet, wringing  and  coughing,  like  brodar  and  histher.  And  the  prank- quean  nipped  a  paly  one  and  lit  up  again  and  redcocks  flew  flack- ering from  the  hillcombs.  And  she  made  her  witter  before  the wicked,  saying:  Mark  the  Twy,  why  do  I  am  alook  alike  two  poss of  porterpease?  And:  Shut!  says  the  wicked,  handwording  her madesty.  So  her  madesty  a  forethought  set  down  a  jiminy  and took  up  a  jiminy  and  all  the  lilipath  ways  to  Woeman*s  Land  she rain,  rain,  rain.  And  Jarl  von  Hoother  bleethered  atter  her  with a  loud  finegale:  Stop  domb  stop  come  back  with  my  earring  stop. But  the  prankquean  swaradid:  Am  liking  it.  And  there  was  a  wild old  grannewwail  that  laurency  night  of  starshootings  somewhere in  Erio.  And  the  prankquean  went  for  her  forty  years'  walk  in Turnlemeem  and  she  punched  the  curses  of  cromcruwell  with the  nail  of  a  top  into  the  jiminy  and  she  had  her  four  larksical monitrix  to  touch  him  his  tears  and  she  provorted  him  to  the onecertain  allsecure  and  he  became  a  tristian.  So  then  she  started raining,  raining,  and  in  a  pair  of  changers,  be  dom  ter,  she  was back  again  at  Jarl  von  Hoother 's  and  the  Larryhill  with  her  under her  abromette.  And  why  would  she  halt  at  all  if  not  by  the  ward of  his  mansionhome  of  another  nice  lace  for  the  third  charm? And  Jarl  von  Hoother  had  his  hurricane  hips  up  to  his  pantry- box,  ruminating  in  his  holdfour  stomachs  (Dare!  O  dare!),  and the  jiminy  Toughertrees  and  the  dummy  were  belove  on  the watercloth,  kissing  and  spitting,  and  roguing  and  poghuing,  like knavepaltry  and  naivebride  and  in  their  second  infancy.  And  the prankquean  picked  a  blank  and  lit  out  and  the  valleys  lay  twink- ling. And  she  made  her  wittest  in  front  of  the  arkway  of  trihump, asking:  Mark  the  Tris,  why  do  I  am  alook  alike  three  poss  of  por- ter pease.'^  But  that  was  how  the  skirtmishes  endupped.  For  like the  Campbells  acoming  with  a  fork  lance  of  lightning,  Jarl  von Hoother  Boanerges  himself,  the  old  terror  of  the  dames,  came hip  hop  handihap  out  through  the  pikeopened  arkway  of  his three  shuttoned  castles,  in  his  broadginger  hat  and  his  civic  chol- lar  and  his  allabuff  hemmed  and  his  bullbraggin  soxangloves and  his  ladbroke  breeks  and  his  cattegut  bandolair  and  his  fur-
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■
J
Yv\ov:
framed  panuncular  cumbottes  like  a  rudd  yellan  gruebleen  Or- angeman in  his  violet  indigonation,  to  the  whole  longth  of  the strongth  of  his  bowman's  bill.  And  he  clopped  his  rude  hand  to his  eacy  hitch  and  he  ordurd  and  his  thick  spch  spck  for  her  to shut  up  shop,  dappy.  And  the  duppy  shot  the  shutter  clup  (Per- kodhuskurunbarggruauyagokgorlayorgromgremmitghundhurth-J rumathunaradidillifaititillibumullunukkunun!)  And  they  all  drank free.  For  one  man  in  his  armour  was  a  fat  match  always  for  any girls  under  shurts.  And  that  was  the  first  peace  of  illiterative porthery  in  all  the  flamend  floody  flatuous  world.  How  kirssy  the tiler  made  a  sweet  unclose  to  the  Narwhealian  captol.  Saw  fore shalt  thou  sea.  Betoun  ye  and  be.  The  prankquean  was  to  hold her  dummyship  and  the  jimminies  was  to  keep  the  peacewave and  van  Hoother  was  to  git  the  wind  up.  Thus  the  hearsomeness of  the  burger  felicitates  the  whole  of  the  polis.
O  foenix  culprit!  Ex  nickylow  malo  comes  mickelmassed  bo- num.  Hill,  rill,  ones  in  company,  billeted,  less  be  proud  of.  Breast high  and  bestride!  Only  for  that  these  will  not  breathe  upon Norronesen  or  Irenean  the  secrest  of  their  soorcelossness.  Quar- ry silex,  Homfrie  Noanswa!  Undy  gentian  festyknees,  Li  via  No- answa.'*  Wolkencap  is  on  him,  frowned;  audiurient,  he  would evesdrip,  were  it  mous  at  hand,  were  it  dinn  of  bottles  in  the  far ear.  Murk,  his  vales  are  darkling.  With  lipth  she  lithpeth  to  him all  to  time  of  thuch  on  thuch  and  thow  on  thow.  She  he  she  ho she  ha  to  la.  Hairfluke,  if  he  could  bad  twig  her!  Impalpabunt, he  abhears.  The  soundwaves  are  his  buffeteers;  they  trompe  him with  their  trompes;  the  wave  of  roary  and  the  wave  of  hooshed and  the  wave  of  hawhawhawrd  and  the  wave  of  neverheedthem- horseluggarsandlistletomine.  Landloughed  by  his  neaghboormis- tress  and  perpetrified  in  his  ofFsprung,  sabes  and  suckers,  the moaning  pipers  could  tell  him  to  his  faceback,  the  louthly  one whose  loab  we  are  devorers  of,  how  butt  for  his  hold  halibutt,  or her  to  her  pudor  puff,  the  lipalip  one  whose  libe  we  drink  at,  how biff  for  her  tiddjrwink  of  a  windfall,  our  breed  and  washer  givers, there  would  not  be  a  holey  spier  on  the  town  nor  a  vestal  flout- ing in  the  dock,  nay  to  make  plein  avowels,  nor  a  yew  nor  an  eye
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to  play  cash  cash  in  Novo  Nilbud  by  swamplight  nor  a'  toole  o' tall  o*  toll  and  noddy  hint  to  the  convaynience.
He  dug  in  and  dug  out  by  the  skill  of  his  tilth  for  himself  and all  belonging  to  him  and  he  sweated  his  crew  beneath  his  auspice for  the  living  and  he  urned  his  dread,  that  dragon  volant,  and  he made  louse  for  us  and  delivered  us  to  boll  weevils  amain,  that mighty  liberator,  Unfru-Chikda-Uru-Wukru  and  begad  he  did, our  ancestor  most  worshipful,  till  he  thought  of  a  better  one  in his  windower's  house  with  that  blushmantle  upon  him  from  ears- end  to  earsend.  And  would  again  could  whispring  grassies  wake him  and  may  again  when  the  fiery  bird  disembers.  And  will again  if  so  be  sooth  by  elder  to  his  youngers  shall  be  said.  Have you  whines  for  my  wedding,  did  you  bring  bride  and  bedding, will  you  whoop  for  my  deading  is  a?  Wake?  Usqueadbaugham/
Anam  muck  an  dhoul!  Did  ye  drink  me  doornail?
Now  be  aisy,  good  Mr  Finnimore,  sir.  And  take  your  laysure like  a  god  on  pension  and  don't  be  walking  abroad.  Sure  you'd only  lose  yourself  in  Healiopolis  now  the  way  your  roads  in Kapelavaster  are  that  winding  there  after  the  calvary,  the  North Umbrian  and  the  Fivs  Barrow  and  Waddlings  Raid  and  the Bower  Moore  and  wet  your  feet  maybe  with  the  foggy  dew's abroad.  Meeting  some  sick  old  bankrupt  or  the  Cottericks'  donkey with  his  shoe  hanging,  clankatachankata,  or  a  slut  snoring  with  an impure  infant  on  a  bench.  'Twould  turn  you  against  life,  so 'twould.  And  the  weather's  that  mean  too.  To  part  from  Devlin is  hard  as  Nugent  knew,  to  leave  the  clean  tanglesome  one  lushier than  its  neighbour  enfranchisable  fields  but  let  your  ghost  have no  grievance.  You're  better  off,  sir,  where  you  are,  primesigned in  the  full  of  your  dress,  bloodeagle  waistcoat  and  all,  remember- ing your  shapes  and  sizes  on  the  pillow  of  your  babycurls  under your  sycamore  by  the  keld  water  where  the  Tory's  clay  will  scare the  varmints  and  have  all  you  want,  pouch,  gloves,  flask,  bricket, kerchief,  ring  and  amberulla,  the  whole  treasure  of  the  pyre,  in  the land  of  souls  with  Homin  and  Broin  Baroke  and  pole  ole  Lonan and  Nobucketnozzler  and  the  Guinnghis  Khan.  And  we'll  be coming  here,  the  ombre  players,  to  rake  your  gravel  and  bringing
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you  presents,  won't  we,  fenians?  And  it  isn't  our  spittle  we'll  stint you  of,  is  it,  druids?  Not  shabbty  little  imagettes,  pennydirts  and dodgemyeyes  you  buy  in  the  soottee  stores.  But  offerings  of  the field.  Mieliodories,  that  Doctor  Faherty,  the  madison  man, taught  to  gooden  you.  Poppypap's  a  passport  out.  And  honey  is the  holiest  thing  ever  was,  hive,  comb  and  earwax,  the  food  for glory,  (mind  you  keep  the  pot  or  your  nectar  cup  may  yield  too light!)  and  some  goat's  milk,  sir,  like  the  maid  used  to  bring  you. Your  fame  is  spreading  like  Basilico's  ointment  since  the  Fintan Lalors  piped  you  overborder  and  there's  whole  households  be- yond the  Bothnians  and  they  calling  names  after  you.  The  men- here's  always  talking  of  you  sitting  around  on  the  pig's  cheeks under  the  sacred  rooftree,  over  the  bowls  of  memory  where  every hollow  holds  a  hallow,  with  a  pledge  till  the  drengs,  in  the  Salmon House.  And  admiring  to  our  supershillelagh  where  the  palmsweat on  high  is  the  mark  of  your  manument.  All  the  toethpicks  ever Eirenesians  chewed  on  are  chips  chepped  from  that  battery block.  If  you  were  bowed  and  soild  and  letdown  itself  from  the oner  of  the  load  it  was  that  paddyplanters  might  pack  up  plenty  and when  you  were  undone  in  every  point  fore  the  laps  of  goddesses  ^"^y^i,^- you  showed  our  labourlasses  how  to  free  was  easy.  The  game  old Gunne,  they  do  be  saying,  (skull !)  that  was  a  planter  for  you,  a spicer  of  them  all.  Begog  but  he  was,  the  G.O.G!  He's  dudd- andgunne  now  and  we're  apter  finding  the  sores  of  his  sedeq but  peace  to  his  great  limbs,  the  buddhoch,  with  the  last  league long  rest  of  him,  while  the  millioncandled  eye  of  Tuskar  sweeps the  Moylean  Main !  There  was  never  a  warlord  in  Great  Erinnes and  Brettland,  no,  nor  in  all  Pike  County  like  you,  they  say.  No, nor  a  king  nor  an  ardking,  bung  king,  sung  king  or  hung  king. That  you  could  fell  an  elmstree  twelve  urchins  couldn't  ring round  and  hoist  high  the  stone  that  Liam  failed.  Who  but  a  Mac- cullaghmore  the  reise  of  our  fortunes  and  the  faunayman  at  the funeral  to  compass  our  cause. ^  If  you  was  hogglebully  itself  and most  frifty  like  you  was  taken  waters  still  what  all  where  was your  like  to  lay  the  cable  or  who  was  the  batter  could  better Your  Grace.^  Mick  Mac  Magnus  MacCawley  can  take  you  off  to
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the  pure  perfection  and  Leatherbags  Reynolds  tries  your  shuffle and  cut.  But  as  Hopkins  and  Hopkins  puts  it,  you  were  the  pale eggynaggy  and  a  kis  to  tilly  up.  We  calls  him  the  journeyall Buggaloffs  since  he  went  Jerusalemfaring  in  Arssia  Manor.  You had  a  gamier  cock  than  Pete,  Jake  or  Martin  and  your  archgoose of  geese  stubbled  for  All  Angels*  Day.  So  may  the  priest  of  seven worms  and  scalding  tayboil.  Papa  Vestray,  come  never  anear  you as  your  hair  grows  wheater  beside  the  Liffey  that's  in  Heaven! Hep,  hep,  hurrah  there!  Hero!  Seven  times  thereto  we  salute you!  The  whole  bag  of  kits,  falconplumes  and  jackboots  incloted, is  where  you  flung  them  that  time.  Your  heart  is  in  the  system of  the  Shewolf  and  your  crested  head  is  in  the  tropic  of  Copri- capron.  Your  feet  are  in  the  cloister  of  Virgo.  Your  olala  is  in  the region  of  sahuls.  And  that's  ashore  as  you  were  born.  Your  shuck tick's  swell.  And  that  there  texas  is  tow  linen.  The  loamsome roam  to  Laffayette  is  ended.  Drop  in  your  tracks,  babe !  Be  not unrested!  The  headboddylwatcher  of  the  chempel  of  Isid, Totumcalmum,  saith:  I  know  thee,  metherjar,  I  know  thee,  sal- vation boat.  For  we  have  performed  upon  thee,  thou  abrama- nation,  who  comest  ever  without  being  invoked,  whose  coming is  unknown,  all  the  things  which  the  company  of  the  precentors and  of  the  grammarians  of  Chris tpatrick's  ordered  concerning thee  in  the  matter  of  the  work  of  thy  tombing.  Howe  of  the  ship- men,  steep  wall!  !  c/w\
Everything's  going  on  the  same  or  so  it  appeals  to  all  of  us, in  the  old  holmsted  here.  Coughings  all  over  the  sanctuary,  bad scrant  to  me  aunt  Florenza.  The  horn  for  breakfast,  one  o'gong for  lunch  and  dinnerchime.  As  popular  as  when  Belly  the  First was  keng  and  his  members  met  in  the  Diet  of  Man.  The  same shop  slop  in  the  window.  Jacob's  lettercrackers  and  Dr  Tipple's Vi-Cocoa  and  the  Eswuards'  desippated  soup  beside  Mother  Sea- gull's syrup.  Meat  took  a  drop  when  Reilly-Parsons  failed.  Coal's short  but  we've  plenty  of  bog  in  the  yard.  And  barley's  up  again, begrained  to  it.  The  lads  is  attending  school  nessans  regular,  sir, spelling  beesknees  with  hathatansy  and  turning  out  tables  by mudapplication.  Allfor  the  books  and  never  pegging  smashers
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after  Tom  Bowe  Glassarse  or  Timmy  the  Tosser.  'Tisraely  the truth!  No  isn't  it,  roman  pathoricks?  You  were  the  double] ojoited janitor  the  morning  they  were  delivered  and  you'll  be  a  grandfer yet  entirely  when  the  ritehand  seizes  what  the  lovearm  knows. Kevin's  just  a  doat  with  his  cherub  cheek,  chalking  oghres  on walls,  and  his  litde  lamp  and  schoolbelt  and  bag  of  knicks,  playing postman's  knock  round  the  diggings  and  if  the  seep  were  milk you  could  lieve  his  olde  by  his  ide  but,  laus  sake,  the  devil  does be  in  that  knirps  of  a  Jerry  sometimes,  the  tarandtan  plaidboy, making  encostive  inkum  out  of  the  last  of  his  lavings  and  writing a  blue  streak  over  his  bourseday  shirt.  Hetty  Jane's  a  child  of Mary.  She'll  be  coming  (for  they're  sure  to  choose  her)  in  her white  of  gold  with  a  tourch  of  ivy  to  rekindle  the  flame  on  Felix Day.  But  Essie  Shanahan  has  let  down  her  skirts.  You  remember Essie  in  our  Luna's  Convent.^  They  called  her  Holly  Merry  her lips  were  so  ruddyberry  and  Pia  de  Purebelle  when  the  redminers riots  was  on  about  her.  Were  I  a  clerk  designate  to  the  Williams- woodsmenufactors  I'd  poster  those  pouters  on  every  jamb  in  the town.  She's  making  her  rep  at  Lanner's  twicenightly.  With  the tabarine  tamtammers  of  the  whirligigmagees.  Beats  that  cachucha flat.  'Twould  dilate  your  heart  to  go.
Aisy  now,  you  decent  man,  with  your  knees  and  lie  quiet  and repose  your  honour's  lordship !  Hold  him  here,  Ezekiel  Irons,  and may  God  strengthen  you!  It's  our  warm  spirits,  boys,  he's  spoor- ing. Dimitrius  O'Flagonan,  cork  that  cure  for  the  Clancartys !  You swamped  enough  since  Portobello  to  float  the  Pomeroy.  Fetch neahere,  Pat  Koy!  And  fetch  nouyou,  Pam  Yates!  Be  nayther angst  of  Wramawitch!  Here's  lumbos.  Where  misties  swaddlum, where  misches  lodge  none,  where  mystries  pour  kind  on,  O sleepy!  So  be  yet!
I've  an  eye  on  queer  Behan  and  old  Kate  and  the  butter,  trust  me. She'll  do  no  jugglywuggly  with  her  war  souvenir  postcards  to help  to  build  me  murial,  tippers!  I'll  trip  your  traps!  Assure  a sure  there !  And  we  put  on  your  clock  again,  sir,  for  you.  Did  or didn't  we,  sharestutterers.'^  So  you  won't  be  up  a  stump  entirely. Nor  shed  your  remnants.  The  sternwheel's  crawling  strong.  I
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seen  your  missus  in  the  hall.  Like  the  queenoveire.  Arrah,  it*s herself  that's  fine,  too,  don't  be  talking!  Shirksends?  You  storyan Harry  chap  longa  me  Harry  chap  storyan  grass  woman  plelthy good  trout.  Shakeshands.  Dibble  a  hayfork's  wrong  with  her  only her  lex's  salig.  Boald  Tib  does  be  yawning  and  smirking  cat's hours  on  the  Pollockses'  woolly  round  tabouretcushion  watch- ing her  sewing  a  dream  together,  the  tailor's  daughter,  stitch  to her  last.  Or  while  waiting  for  winter  to  fire  the  enchantement, decoying  more  nesters  to  fall  down  the  flue.  It's  an  allavalonche  that blows  nopussy  food.  If  you  only  were  there  to  explain  the  mean- ing, best  of  men,  and  talk  to  her  nice  of  guldenselver.  The  lips would  moisten  once  again.  As  when  you  drove  with  her  to  Fin- drinny  Fair.  What  with  reins  here  and  ribbons  there  all  your hands  were  employed  so  she  never  knew  was  she  on  land  or  at sea  or  swooped  through  the  blue  like  Airwinger's  bride.  She was  flirtsome  then  and  she's  fluttersome  yet.  She  can  second  a song  and  adores  a  scandal  when  the  last  post's  gone  by.  Fond  of a  concertina  and  pairs  passing  when  she's  had  her  forty  winks for  supper  after  kanekannan  and  abbely  dimpling  and  is  in  her merlin  chair  assotted,  reading  her  Evening  World.  To  see  is it  smarts,  full  lengths  or  swaggers.  News,  news,  all  the  news. Death,  a  leopard,  kills  fellah  in  Fez.  Angry  scenes  at  Stormount. Stilla  Star  with  her  lucky  in  goingaways.  Opportunity  fair  with the  China  floods  and  we  hear  these  rosy  rumours.  Ding  Tams  he noise  about  all  same  Harry  chap.  She's  seeking  her  way,  a  chickle a  chuckle,  in  and  out  of  their  serial  story,  Les  Loves  of  Selskar et  Pervenche^  freely  adapted  to  The  Novvergins  Viv.  There'll be  bluebells  blowing  in  salty  sepulchres  the  night  she  signs  her final  tear.  Zee  End.  But  that's  a  world  of  ways  away.  Till  track laws  time.  No  silver  ash  or  switches  for  that  one!  While  flattering candles  flare.  Anna  Stacey's  how  are  you!  Worther  waist  in  the noblest,  says  Adams  and  Sons,  the  wouldpay  actionneers.  Her hair's  as  brown  as  ever  it  was.  And  wivvy  and  wavy.  Repose  you now!  Finn  no  more!
For,  be  that  samesake  sibsubstitute  of  a  hooky  salmon,  there's already  a  big  rody  ram  lad  at  random  on  the  premises  of  his
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_
haunt  of  the  hungred  bordles,  as  it  is  told  me.  Shop  Illicit, flourishing  like  a  lordmajor  or  a  buaboabaybohm,  litting  flop a  deadlop  (aloose!)  to  lee  but  lifting  a  bennbranch  a  yardalong (ivoeh!)  on  the  breezy  side  (for  showm!),  the  height  of  Brew- ster's chimpney  and  as  broad  below  as  Phineas  Barnum;  humph- ing  his  share  of  the  showthers  is  senken  on  him  he's  such  a grandfallar,  with  a  pocked  wife  in  pickle  that's  a  flyfire  and  three lice  nittle  clinkers,  two  twilling  bugs  and  one  midgit  pucelle. And  aither  he  cursed  and  recursed  and  was  everseen  doing  what your  fourfootlers  saw  or  he  was  never  done  seeing  what  you  cool- pigeons  know,  weep  the  clouds  aboon  for  smiledown  witnesses, and  that'll  do  now  about  the  fairyhees  and  the  frailyshees. Though  Eset  fibble  it  to  the  zephiroth  and  Artsa  zoom  it  round her  heavens  for  ever.  Creator  he  has  created  for  his  creatured ones  a  creation.  White  monothoid.'^  Red  theatrocrat.^  And  all  the pinkprophets  cohalething.^  Very  much  so!  But  however  'twas 'tis  sure  for  one  thing,  what  sherif  Toragh  voucherfors  and Mapqiq  makes  put  out,  that  the  man,  Humme  the  Cheapner, Esc,  overseen  as  we  thought  him,  yet  a  worthy  of  the  naym, came  at  this  timecoloured  place  where  we  live  in  our  paroqial fermament  one  tide  on  another,  with  a  bumrush  in  a  hull  of  a wherry,  the  twin  turbane  dhow.  The  Bey  for  Dyhhling^  this archipelago's  first  visiting  schooner,  with  a  wicklowpattern waxenwench  at  her  prow  for  a  figurehead,  the  deadsea  dugong updipdripping  from  his  depths,  and  has  been  repreaching  him- self like  a  fishmummer  these  siktyten  years  ever  since,  his  shebi by  his  shide,  adi  and  aid,  growing  hoarish  under  his  turban  and changing  cane  sugar  into  sethulose  starch  (Tuttut's  cess  to  him!) as  also  that,  batin  the  bulkihood  he  bloats  about  when  innebbi- ated,  our  old  offender  was  humile,  commune  and  ensectuous from  his  nature,  which  you  may  gauge  after  the  bynames  was put  under  him,  in  lashons  of  languages,  (honnein  suit  and praisers  be!)  and,  totaUsating  him,  even  hamissim  of  himashim that  he,  sober  serious,  he  is  ee  and  no  counter  he  who  will  be ultimendly  respunchable  for  the  hubbub  caused  in  Eden- borough.
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Now  (to  forebare  for  ever  solittle  of  Iris  Trees  and  Lili  O'Ran- gans),  concerning  the  genesis  of  Harold  or  Humphrey  Chimp- den's  occupational  agnomen  (we  are  back  in  the  presurnames prodromarith  period,  of  course  just  when  enos  chalked  halltraps) and  discarding  once  for  all  those  theories  from  older  sources  which would  link  him  back  with  such  pivotal  ancestors  as  the  Glues,  the Gravys,  the  Northeasts,  the  Ankers  and  the  Earwickers  of  Sidles- ham  in  the  Hundred  of  Manhood  or  proclaim  him  ofFsprout  of vikings  who  had  founded  wapentake  and  seddled  hem  in  Herrick or  Eric,  the  best  authenticated  version,  the  Dumlat,  read  the Reading  of  Hofed-ben-Edar,  has  it  that  it  was  this  way.  We  are told  how  in  the  beginning  it  came  to  pass  that  like  cabbaging Cincinnatus  the  grand  old  gardener  was  saving  daylight  under  his redwoodtree  one  sultry  sabbath  afternoon,  Hag  Chivychas  Eve, in  prefall  paradise  peace  by  following  his  plough  for  roodes  in  the rere  garden  of  mobhouse,  ye  olde  marine  hotel,  when  royalty  was announced  by  runner  to  have  been  pleased  to  have  halted  itself  on the  highroad  along  which  a  leisureloving  dogfox  had  cast  fol- lowed, also  at  walking  pace,  by  a  lady  pack  of  cocker  spaniels.  For- getful of  all  save  his  vassal's  plain  fealty  to  the  ethnarch  Humphrey or  Harold  stayed  not  to  yoke  or  saddle  but  stumbled  out  hotface as  he  was  (his  sweatful  bandanna  loose  from  his  pocketcoat)  hast- ing to  the  forecourts  of  his  public  in  topee,  surcingle,  solascarf  and plaid,  plus  fours,  puttees  and  bulldog  boots  ruddled  cinnabar  with
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flagrant  marl,  jingling  his  turnpike  keys  and  bearing  aloft  amid the  fixed  pikes  of  the  hunting  party  a  high  perch  atop  of  which  a flowerpot  was  fixed  earthside  hoist  with  care.  On  his  majesty,  who was,  or  often  feigned  to  be,  noticeably  longsighted  from  green youth  and  had  been  meaning  to  inquire  what,  in  effect,  had  caused yon  causeway  to  be  thus  potholed,  asking  substitutional^  to  be put  wise  as  to  whether  paternoster  and  silver  doctors  were  not now  more  fancied  bait  for  lobstertrapping  honest  blunt  Harom- phreyld  answered  in  no  uncertain  tones  very  similarly  with  a  fear- less forehead:  Naw,  yer  maggers,  aw  war  jist  a  cotchin  on  thon bluggy  earwuggers.  Our  sailor  king,  who  was  draining  a  gugglet of  obvious  adamale,  gift  both  and  gorban,  upon  this,  ceasing  to swallow,  smiled  most  heartily  beneath  his  walrus  moustaches  and indulging  that  none  too  genial  humour  which  William  the  Conk on  the  spindle  side  had  inherited  with  the  hereditary  whitelock and  some  shortfingeredness  from  his  greataunt  Sophy,  turned  to- wards two  of  his  retinue  of  gallowglasses,  Michael,  etheling  lord of  Leix  and  OfFaly  and  the  jubilee  mayor  of  Drogheda,  Elcock, (the  two  scatterguns  being  Michael  M.  Manning,  protosyndic  of Waterford  and  an  Italian  excellency  named  Giubilei  according  to a  later  version  cited  by  the  learned  scholarch  Canavan  of  Can- makenoise),  in  either  case  a  triptychal  religious  family  symbolising puritas  of  doctrina,  business  per  usuals  and  the  purchypatch  of hamlock  where  the  paddish  preties  grow  and  remarked  dilsydul- sily:  Holybones  of  Saint  Hubert  how  our  red  brother  of  Pour- ingrainia  would  audibly  fume  did  he  know  that  we  have  for  sur- trusty  bailiwick  a  turnpiker  who  is  by  turns  a  pikebailer  no  sel- domer  than  an  earwigger!  For  he  kinned  Jom  Pill  with  his  court so  gray  and  his  haunts  in  his  house  in  the  mourning.  (One  still hears  that  pebble  crusted  laughta,  japijap  cheerycherrily,  among the  roadside  tree  the  lady  Holmpatrick  planted  and  still  one  feels the  amossive  silence  of  the  cladstone  allegibelling:  Ive  mies  outs ide  Bourn.)  Comes  the  question  are  these  the  facts  of  his  nom- inigentilisation  as  recorded  and  accolated  in  both  or  either  of  the collateral  andrewpaulmurphyc  narratives.  Are  those  their  fata which  we  read  in  sibylline  between  the  fas  and  its  nefas?  No  dung
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on  the  road?  And  shall  Nohomiah  be  our  place  like?  Yea,  Mulachy our  kingable  khan?  We  shall  perhaps  not  so  soon  see.  Pinck poncks  that  bail  for  seeks  alicence  where  cumsceptres  with  scen- taurs  stay.  Bear  in  mind,  son  of  Hokmah,  if  so  be  you  have  me- theg  in  your  midness,  this  man  is  mountain  and  unto  changeth doth  one  ascend.  Heave  we  aside  the  fallacy,  as  punical  as  finikin, that  it  was  not  the  king  kingself  but  his  inseparable  sisters,  un- controllable nighttalkers,  Skertsiraizde  with  Donyahzade,  who afterwards,  when  the  robberers  shot  up  the  socialights,  came  down into  the  world  as  amusers  and  were  staged  by  Madame  Sudlow as  Rosa  and  Lily  Miskinguette  in  the  pantalime  that  two  pitts paythronosed,  Miliodorus  and  Galathee.  The  great  fact  emerges that  after  that  historic  date  all  holographs  so  far  exhumed  ini- tialled by  Haromphrey  bear  the  sigla  H.C.E.  and  while  he  was only  and  long  and  always  good  Dook  Umphrey  for  the  hunger- lean  spalpeens  of  Lucalizod  and  Chimbers  to  his  cronies  it  was equally  certainly  a  pleasant  turn  of  the  populace  which  gave  him as  sense  of  those  normative  letters  the  nickname  Here  Comes Everybody.  An  imposing  everybody  he  always  indeed  looked, constantly  the  same  as  and  equal  to  himself  and  magnificently  well worthy  of  any  and  all  such  universalisation,  every  time  he  con- tinually surveyed,  amid  vociferatings  from  in  front  of  Accept  these few  nutties!  and  Take  off  that  white  hat!  ^  relieved  with  Stop  his  Grog and  Put  It  in  the  Log  and  Loots  in  his  (bassvoco)  Boots ^  from  good start  to  happy  finish  the  truly  catholic  assemblage  gathered  together in  that  king's  treat  house  of  satin  alustrelike  above  floats  and  foot- lights from  their  assbawlveldts  and  oxgangs  unanimously  to  clap- plaud  (the  inspiration  of  his  lifetime  and  the  hits  of  their  careers) Mr  Wallenstein  Washington  Semperkelly's  immergreen  tourers in  a  command  performance  by  special  request  with  the  courteous permission  for  pious  purposes  the  homedromed  and  enliventh performance  of  the  problem  passion  play  of  the  millentury,  running \  .0*3  strong  since  creation,  A  Royal  Divorce^  then  near  the  approach towards  the  summit  of  its  climax,  with  ambitious  interval  band selections  from  The  Bo  Girl  and  The  Lily  on  all  horserie  show command  nights  from  his  viceregal  booth  (his  bossaloner  is  ceil-
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inged  there  a  cuckoospit  less  eminent  than  the  redritualhoods  of Maccabe  and  Cullen)  where,  a  veritable  Napoleon  the  Nth,  our worldstage's  practical  jokepiece  and  retired  cecelticocommediant in  his  own  wise,  this  folksforefather  all  of  the  time  sat,  having  the entirety  of  his  house  about  him,  with  the  invariable  broadstretched kerchief  cooling  his  whole  neck,  nape  and  shoulderblades  and  in a  wardrobe  panelled  tuxedo  completely  thrown  back  from  a  shirt well  entitled  a  swallowall,  on  every  point  far  outstarching  the laundered  clawhammers  and  marbletopped  highboys  of  the  pit stalls  and  early  amphitheatre.  The  piece  was  this:  look  at  the  lamps. The  cast  was  thus:  see  under  the  clock.  Ladies  circle:  cloaks  may be  left.  Pit,  prommer  and  parterre,  standing  room  only.  Habituels conspicuously  emergent.
A  baser  meaning  has  been  read  into  these  characters  the  literal sense  of  which  decency  can  safely  scarcely  hint.  It  has  been  blur- tingly  bruited  by  certain  wisecrackers  (the  stinks  of  Mohorat  are in  the  nightplots  of  the  morning),  that  he  suffered  from  a  vile disease.  Athma,  unmanner  them!  To  such  a  suggestion  the  one selfrespecting  answer  is  to  affirm  that  there  are  certain  statements which  ought  not  to  be,  and  one  should  like  to  hope  to  be  able  to add,  ought  not  to  be  allowed  to  be  made.  Nor  have  his  detractors, who,  an  imperfectly  warmblooded  race,  apparently  conceive  him as  a  great  white  caterpillar  capable  of  any  and  every  enormity  in the  calendar  recorded  to  the  discredit  of  the  Juke  and  Kellikek families,  mended  their  case  by  insinuating  that,  alternately,  he  lay at  one  time  under  the  ludicrous  imputation  of  annoying  Welsh fusiliers  in  the  people's  park.  Hay,  hay,  hay!  Hoq,  hoq,  hoq! Faun  and  Flora  on  the  lea  love  that  little  old  joq.  To  anyone  who knew  and  loved  the  christlikeness  of  the  big  cleanminded  giant H.  C.  Earwicker  throughout  his  excellency  long  vicefreegal  exis- tence the  mere  suggestion  of  him  as  a  lustsleuth  nosing  for  trou- ble in  a  boobytrap  rings  particularly  preposterous.  Truth,  beard on  prophet,  compels  one  to  add  that  there  is  said  to  have  been quondam  (pfuit!  pfuit!)  some  case  of  the  kind  implicating,  it  is interdum  believed,  a  quidam  (if  he  did  not  exist  it  would  be  ne- cessary quoniam  to  invent  him)  abhout  that  time  stambuling  ha-
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round  Dumbaling  in  leaky  sneakers  with  his  tarrk  record  who has  remained  topantically  anonymos  but  (let  us  hue  him  Abdul- lah Gamellaxarksky)  was,  it  is  stated,  posted  at  Mallon's  at  the instance  of  watch  warriors  of  the  vigilance  committee  and  years afterwards,  cries  one  even  greater,  Ibid,  a  commender  of  the frightful,  seemingly,  unto  such  as  were  sulhan  sated,  tropped  head (pfiat!  pfiat!)  waiting  his  first  of  the  month  froods  turn  for thatt  chopp  pah  kabbakks  alicubi  on  the  old  house  for  the  charge- hard,  Roche  Haddocks  off  Hawkins  Street.  Lowe,  you  blondy liar.  Gob  scene  you  in  the  narked  place  and  she  what's  edith  ar home  defileth  these  boyles!  There's  a  cabful  of  bash  indeed  in the  homeur  of  that  meal.  Slander,  let  it  lie  its  flattest,  has  never been  able  to  convict  our  good  and  great  and  no  ordinary  Southron Earwicker,  that  homogenius  man,  as  a  pious  author  called  him,  of any  graver  impropriety  than  that,  advanced  by  some  woodwards or  regarders,  who  did  not  dare  deny,  the  shomers,  that  they  had, chin  Ted,  chin  Tam,  chinchin  Taffyd,  that  day  consumed  their soul  of  the  corn,  of  having  behaved  with  ongentilmensky  im- modus  opposite  a  pair  of  dainty  maidservants  in  the  swoolth  of the  rushy  hollow  whither,  or  so  the  two  gown  and  pinners  plead- ed, dame  nature  in  all  innocency  had  spontaneously  and  about  the same  hour  of  the  eventide  sent  them  both  but  whose  published combinations  of  silkinlaine  testimonies  are,  where  not  dubiously pure,  visibly  divergent,  as  wapt  from  wept,  on  minor  points  touch- ing the  intimate  nature  of  this,  a  first  offence  in  vert  or  venison which  was  admittedly  an  incautious  but,  at  its  wildest,  a  partial  ex- posure with  such  attenuating  circumstances  (garthen  gaddeth  green hwere  sokeman  brideth  girling)  as  an  abnormal  Saint  Swithin's summer  and,  (Jesses  Rosasharon !)  a  ripe  occasion  to  provoke  it.
We  can't  do  without  them.  Wives,  rush  to  the  restyours !  Of- man  will  toman  while  led  is  the  loL  Zessid's  our  kadem,  villa- pleach,  vollapluck.  Fikup,  for  flesh  nelly,  el  mundo  nov,  zole  flen ! If  she's  a  lilyth,  pull  early!  Pauline,  allow!  And  malers  abushed, keep  black,  keep  black!  Guiltless  of  much  laid  to  him  he  was clearly  for  once  at  least  he  clearly  expressed  himself  as  being  with still  a  trace  of  his  erstwhile  burr  and  hence  it  has  been  received  of
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us  that  it  is  true.  They  tell  the  story  (an  amalgam  as  absorbing  as calzium  chloereydes  and  hydrophobe  sponges  could  make  it)  how one  happygogusty  Ides-of-April  morning  (the  anniversary,  as  it fell  out,  of  his  first  assumption  of  his  mirthday  suit  and  rights  in appurtenance  to  the  confusioning  of  human  races)  ages  and  ages after  the  alleged  misdemeanour  when  the  tried  friend  of  all  crea- tion, tigerwood  roadstaff  to  his  stay,  was  billowing  across  the wide  expanse  of  our  greatest  park  in  his  caoutchouc  kepi  and great  belt  and  hideinsacks  and  his  blaufunx  fustian  and  ironsides jackboots  and  Bhagafat  gaiters  and  his  rubberised  inverness,  he met  a  cad  with  a  pipe.  The  latter,  the  luciferant  not  the  oriuolate (who,  the  odds  are,  is  still  berting  dagabout  in  the  same  straw bamer,  carryin  his  overgoat  under  his  schulder,  sheepside  out,  so as  to  look  more  like  a  coumfry  gentleman  and  signing  the  pledge as  gaily  as  you  please)  hardily  accosted  him  with:  Guinness  thaw tool  in  jew  me  dinner  ouzel  fin?  (a  nice  how-do-you-do  in  Pool- black  at  the  time  as  some  of  our  olddaisers  may  still  tremblingly recall)  to  ask  could  he  tell  him  how  much  a  clock  it  was  that  the clock  struck  had  he  any  idea  by  cock's  luck  as  his  watch  was bradys.  Hesitency  was  clearly  to  be  evitated.  Execration  as  cleverly to  be  honnisoid.  The  Earwicker  of  that  spurring  instant,  realising on  fundamental  liberal  principles  the  supreme  importance,  nexally and  noxally,  of  physical  life  (the  nearest  help  relay  being  pingping K.  O.  Sempatrick's  Day  and  the  fenian  rising)  and  unwishful  as he  felt  of  being  hurled  into  eternity  right  then,  plugged  by  a  soft- nosed  bullet  from  the  sap,  halted,  quick  on  the  draw,  and  reply- in  that  he  was  feelin  tipstaff,  cue,  prodooced  from  his  gunpocket his  Jurgensen's  shrapnel  waterbury,  ours  by  communionism,  his by  usucapture,  but,  on  the  same  stroke,  hearing  above  the  skirl- ing of  harsh  Mother  East  old  Fox  Goodman,  the  bellmaster,  over the  wastes  to  south,  at  work  upon  the  ten  ton  tonuant  thunder- ous tenor  toller  in  the  speckled  church  (Couhounin's  call!)  told the  inquiring  kidder,  by  Jehova,  it  was  twelve  of  em  sidereal  and tankard  time,  adding,  buttall,  as  he  bended  deeply  with  smoked sardinish  breath  to  give  more  pondus  to  the  copperstick  he  pre- sented, (though  this  seems  in  some  cumfusium  with  the  chap-
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stuck  ginger  which,  as  being  of  sours,  acids,  salts,  sweets  and bitters  compompounded,  we  know  him  to  have  used  as  chaw- chaw  for  bone,  muscle,  blood,  flesh  and  vimvital,)  that  where- as the  hakusay  accusation  againstm  had  been  made,  what  was known  in  high  quarters  as  was  stood  stated  in  Morganspost,  by a  creature  in  youman  form  who  was  quite  beneath  parr  and  seve- ral degrees  lower  than  yore  triplehydrad  snake.  In  greater  sup- port of  his  word  (it,  quaint  anticipation  of  a  famous  phrase,  has been  reconstricted  out  of  oral  style  into  the  verbal  for  all  time with  ritual  rhythmics,  in  quiritary  quietude,  and  toosammen- stucked  from  successive  accounts  by  Noah  Webster  in  the  re- daction known  as  the  Sayings  Attributive  of  H.  C.  Earwicker, prize  on  schillings,  postlots  free),  the  flaxen  Gygas  tapped  his chronometrum  drumdrum  and,  now  standing  full  erect,  above the  ambijacent  floodplain,  scene  of  its  happening,  with  one  Ber- lin gauntlet  chopstuck  in  the  hough  of  his  ellboge  (by  ancientest signlore  his  gesture  meaning:  3!)  pointed  at  an  angle  of  thirty- two  degrees  towards  his  due  de  Fers  overgrown  milestone  as fellow  to  his  gage  and  after  a  rendypresent  pause  averred  with solemn  emotion's  fire:  Shsh  shake,  co-comeraid!  Me  only,  them five  ones,  he  is  equal  combat.  I  have  won  straight.  Hence  my nonation  wide  hotel  and  creamery  establishments  which  for  the honours  of  our  mewmew  mutual  daughters,  credit  me,  I  am  woo- woo  willing  to  take  my  stand,  sir,  upon  the  monument,  that  sign of  our  ruru  redemption,  any  hygienic  day  to  this  hour  and  to make  my  hoath  to  my  sinnfinners,  even  if  I  get  life  for  it,  upon the  Open  Bible  and  before  the  Great  Taskmaster's  (I  lift  my  hat!) and  in  the  presence  of  the  Deity  Itself  andwell  of  Bishop  and Mrs  Michan  of  High  Church  of  England  as  of  all  such  of  said my  immediate  withdwellers  and  of  every  living  sohole  in  every corner  wheresoever  of  this  globe  in  general  which  useth  of  my British  to  my  backbone  tongue  and  commutative  justice  that there  is  not  one  tittle  of  truth,  allow  me  to  tell  you,  in  that  purest of  fibfib  fabrications.
Gaping  Gill,  swift  to  mate  errthors,  stern  to  checkself,  (diag- nosing through  eustacetube  that  it  was  to  make  with  a  markedly
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postpuberal  hypertituitary  type  of  Heidelberg  mannleich  cavern ethics)  lufted  his  slopingforward,  bad  Sweatagore  good  mur- rough  and  dublnotch  on  to  it  as  he  was  greedly  obliged,  and like  a  sensible  ham,  with  infinite  tact  in  the  delicate  situation  seen the  touchy  nature  of  its  perilous  theme,  thanked  um  for  guilders received  and  time  of  day  (not  a  little  token  abock  all  the  same  that that  was  owl  the  God's  clock  it  was)  and,  upon  humble  duty  to greet  his  Tyskminister  and  he  shall  gildthegap  Gaper  and  thee  his a  mouldy  voids,  went  about  his  business,  whoever  it  was,  saluting corpses,  as  a  metter  of  corse  (one  could  hound  him  out  had  one hart  to  for  the  monticules  of  scalp  and  dandruff  droppings  blaze his  trail)  accompanied  by  his  trusty  snorler  and  his  permanent reflection,  verbigracious;  I  have  met  with  you,  bird,  too  late, or  if  not,  too  worm  and  early:  and  with  tag  for  ildiot  repeated in  his  secondmouth  language  as  many  of  the  bigtimer's  verbaten words  which  he  could  balbly  call  to  memory  that  same  kveldeve, ere  the  hour  of  the  twattering  of  bards  in  the  twitter  litter  between Druidia  and  the  Deepsleep  Sea,  when  suppertide  and  souvenir  to Charlatan  Mall  jointly  kem  gently  and  along  the  quiet  darkenings of  Grand  and  Royal,  ff,  flitmansfluh,  and,  kk,  't  crept  i'  hedge whenas  to  many  a  softongue's  pawkytalk  mude  unswer  u  sufter poghyogh,  Arvanda  always  aquiassent,  while,  studying  castelles in  the  blowne  and  studding  cowshots  over  the  noran,  he  spat  in careful  convertedness  a  musaic  dispensation  about  his  hearthstone^ if  you  please,  (Irish  saliva,  mawshe  dho  hole^  but  would  a  respect- able prominently  connected  fellow  of  Iro-European  ascendances with  welldressed  ideas  who  knew  the  correct  thing  such  as  Mr Shallwesigh  or  Mr  Shallwelaugh  expectorate  after  such  a  callous fashion,  no  thank  yous!  when  he  had  his  belcher  spuckertuck  in  his pucket,  pthuck?)  musefed  with  his  thockits  after  having  supped of  the  dish  sot  and  pottage  which  he  snobbishly  dabbed  Peach Bombay  (it  is  rawly  only  Lukanpukan  pilzenpie  which  she  knows which  senaffed  and  pibered  him),  a  supreme  of  excelling  peas, balled  under  minnshogue's  milk  into  whitemalt  winesour,  a  pro- viant  the  littlebilker  hoarsely  relished,  chaff  it,  in  the  snevel  season, being  as  fain  o't  as  your  rat  wi'fennel;  and  on  this  celebrating
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occasion  of  the  happy  escape,  for  a  crowning  of  pot  valiance, this  regional  platter,  benjamin  of  bouillis,  with  a  spolish  olive  to middlepoint  its  zaynith,  was  marrying  itself  (porkograso !)  ere- busqued  very  deluxiously  with  a  bottle  of  Phenice-Bruerie  '98, followed  for  second  nuptials  by  a  Piessporter,  Grand  Cur,  of both  of  which  cherished  tablelights  (though  humble  the  bounquet 'tis  a  leaman*s  farewell)  he  obdurately  sniffed  the  cobwebcrusted corks.
Our  cad's  bit  of  strife  (knee  Bareniece  Maxwelton)  with  a  quick ear  for  spittoons  (as  the  aftertale  hath  it)  glaned  up  as  usual  with dumbestic  husbandry  (no  persicks  and  armelians  for  thee,  Pome- ranzia!)  but,  slipping  the  clav  in  her  claw,  broke  of  the  matter among  a  hundred  and  eleven  others  in  her  usual  curtsey  (how faint  these  first  vhespers  womanly  are,  a  secret  pispigliando,  amad the  lavurdy  den  of  their  manfolker!)  the  next  night  nudge  one as  was  Hegesippus  over  a  hup  a '  chee,  her  eys  dry  and  small  and speech  thicklish  because  he  appeared  a  funny  colour  like  he couldn't  stood  they  old  hens  no  longer,  to  her  particular  reverend, the  director,  whom  she  had  been  meaning  in  her  mind  primarily to  speak  with  (hosch,  intra!  jist  a  timblespoon!)  trusting,  between cuppled  lips  and  annie  lawrie  promises  (mighshe  never  have Esnekerry  pudden  come  Hunanov  for  her  pecklapitschens !)  that the  gossiple  so  delivered  in  his  epistolear,  buried  teatoastally  in their  Irish  stew  would  go  no  further  than  his  jesuit's  cloth,  yet (in  vinars  venitas!  volatiles  valetotum!)  it  was  this  overspoiled priest  Mr  Browne,  disguised  as  a  vincentian,  who,  when  seized of  the  facts,  was  overheard,  in  his  secondary  personality  as  a Nolan  and  underreared,  poul  soul,  by  accident — if,  that  is,  the incident  it  was  an  accident  for  here  the  ruah  of  Ecclectiastes of  Hippo  outpuffs  the  writress  of  Hawah-ban-Annah — to pianissime  a  slightly  varied  version  of  Crookedribs  confidentials, (what  Mere  Aloyse  said  but  for  Jesuphine's  sake !)  hands  between hahands,  in  fealty  sworn  (my  bravor  best!  my  fraur!)  and,  to  the strains  of  The  Secret  of  Her  Birth,  hushly  pierce  the  rubiend aurellum  of  one  Philly  Thurnston,  a  layteacher  of  rural  science and  orthophonethics  of  a  nearstout  figure  and  about  the  middle
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of  his  forties  during  a  priestly  flutter  for  safe  and  sane  bets  at  the hippie  runfields  of  breezy  Baldoyle  on  a  date  (W.  W.  goes through  the  caid)  easily  capable  of  rememberance  by  all  pickers- up  of  events  national  and  Dublin  details,  the  doubles  of  Perkin and  Paullock,  peer  and  prole,  when  the  classic  Encourage  Hackney Plate  was  captured  by  two  noses  in  a  stablecloth  finish,  ek  and  nek, some  and  none,  evelo  nevelo,  from  the  cream  colt  Bold  Boy Cromwell  after  a  clever  getaway  by  Captain  Chaplain  Blount's roe  hinny  Saint  Dalough,  Drummer  Coxon,  nondepict  third,  at breakneck  odds,  thanks  to  you  great  little,  bonny  little,  portey little,  Winny  Widger!  you're  all  their  nappies!  who  in  his  never- rip  mud  and  purpular  cap  was  surely  leagues  unlike  any  other phantomweight  that  ever  toppitt  our  timber  maggies.
'Twas  two  pisononse  Timcoves  (the  wetter  is  pest,  the  renns  are overt  and  come  and  the  voax  of  the  turfur  is  hurled  on  our  lande) of  the  name  of  Treacle  Tom  as  was  just  out  of  pop  following  the theft  of  a  leg  of  Kehoe,  Donnelly  and  Packenham's  Finnish  pork and  his  own  blood  and  milk  brother  Frisky  Shorty,  (he  was,  to  be exquisitely  punctilious  about  them,  both  shorty  and  frisky)  a  tip- ster, come  off  the  hulks,  both  of  them  awful  poor,  what  was  out on  the  bumaround  for  an  oofbird  game  for  a  jimmy  o'goblin  or a  small  thick  un  as  chanced,  while  the  Seaforths  was  making  the colleenbawl,  to  ear  the  passon  in  the  motor  clobber  make  use  of his  law  language  (Edzo,  Edzo  on),  touchin  the  case  of  Mr  Adams what  was  in  all  the  Sundays  about  it  which  he  was  rubbing  noses with  and  having  a  gurgle  off  his  own  along  of  the  butty  bloke  in the  specs.
This  Treacle  Tom  to  whom  reference  has  been  made  had been  absent  from  his  usual  wild  and  woolly  haunts  in  the  land of  counties  capalleens  for  some  time  previous  to  that  (he  was,  in fact,  in  the  habit  of  frequenting  common  lodginghouses  where he  slept  in  a  nude  state,  hailfellow  with  meth,  in  strange  men's cots)  but  on  racenight,  blotto  after  divers  tots  of  hell  fire,  red biddy,  bull  dog,  blue  ruin  and  creeping  jenny,  Eglandine's  choic- est herbage,  supplied  by  the  Duck  and  Doggies,  the  Galop- ping  Primrose,  Brigid  Brewster's,  the  Cock,  the  Postboy's  Horn,
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the  Little  Old  Man's  and  All  Swell  That  Aimswell,  the  Cup  and the  Stirrup,  he  sought  his  wellwarmed  leababobed  in  a  hous- ingroom  Abide  With  Oneanother  at  Block  W.W.,  (why  didn't he  back  it?)  Pump  Court,  The  Liberties,  and,  what  with moltapuke  on  voltapuke,  resnored  alcoh  alcoho  alcoherently  to the  burden  of  /  comey  my  horse  delayed,  nom  num,  the  sub- stance of  the  tale  of  the  evangelical  bussybozzy  and  the  rusinur- bean  (the  'girls'  he  would  keep  calling  them  for  the  collarette and  skirt,  the  sunbonnet  and  carnation)  in  parts  (it  seemed  he was  before  the  eyots  of  martas  or  otherwales  the  thirds  of  fossil- years,  he  having  beham  with  katya  when  lavinias  had  her  mens lease  to  sea  in  a  psumpship  doodly  show  whereat  he  was  looking for  fight  niggers  with  whilde  roarses)  oft  in  the  chilly  night  (the metagonistic !  the  epickthalamorous !)  during  uneasy  slumber  in their  hearings  of  a  small  and  stonybroke  cashdraper's  executive, Peter  Cloran  (discharged),  O'Mara,  an  exprivate  secretary  of  no fixed  abode  (locally  known  as  Mildew  Lisa),  who  had  passed several  nights,  funnish  enough,  in  a  doorway  under  the  blankets of  homelessness  on  the  bunk  of  iceland,  pillowed  upon  the  stone of  destiny  colder  than  man's  knee  or  woman's  breast,  and Hosty,  (no  slouch  of  a  name),  an  illstarred  beachbusker,  who, sans  rootie  and  sans  scrapie,  suspicioning  as  how  he  was  setting on  a  twoodstool  on  the  verge  of  selfabyss,  most  starved,  with melancholia  over  everything  in  general,  (night  birman,  you  served him  with  natigal's  nano !)  had  been  towhead  tossing  on  his  shake- down, devising  ways  and  manners  of  means,  of  what  he  loved to  ifidalicence  somehow  or  other  in  the  nation  getting  a  hold  of some  chap's  parabellum  in  the  hope  of  taking  a  wing  sociable and  lighting  upon  a  sidewheel  dive  somewhere  off  die  Dullkey Downlairy  and  Bleakrooky  tramaline  where  he  could  throw  true and  go  and  blow  the  sibicidal  napper  off  himself  for  two  bits  to boldywell  baltitude  in  the  peace  and  quitybus  of  a  one  sure  shot bottle,  he  after  having  being  trying  all  he  knew  with  the  lady's help  of  Madam  Gristle  for  upwards  of  eighteen  calanders  to  get out  of  Sir  Patrick  Dun's,  through  Sir  Humphrey  Jervis's  and into  the  Saint  Kevin's  bed  in  the  Adelaide's  hosspittles  (from
40
these  incurable  welleslays  among  those  uncarable  wellasdays through  Sant  lago  by  his  cocklehat,  good  Lazar,  deliver  us!) without  after  having  been  able  to  jerry  wangle  it  any  sides.  Lisa O'Deavis  and  Roche  Mongan  (who  had  so  much  incommon, epipsychidically;  if  the  phrase  be  permitted  hosds  et  odor  insuper petroperfr actus)  as  an  understood  thing  slept  their  sleep  of  the swimborne  in  the  one  sweet  undulant  mother  of  tumblerbunks with  Hosty  just  how  the  shavers  in  the  shaw  the  yokels  in  the yoats  or,  well,  the  wasters  in  the  wilde,  and  the  bustling  tweeny- dawn-of-all-works  (meed  of  anthems  here  we  pant!)  had  not  been many  jiffies  furbishing  potlids,  doorbrasses,  scholars'  applecheeks and  linkboy's  metals  when,  ashhopperminded  like  no  fella  he  go make  bakenbeggfuss  longa  white  man,  the  rejuvenated  busker  (for after  a  goodnight's  rave  and  rumble  and  a  shinkhams  topmorning with  his  coexes  he  was  not  the  same  man)  and  his  broadawake bedroom  suite  (our  boys,  as  our  Byron  called  them)  were  up and  ashuffle  from  the  hogshome  they  lovenaned  The  Barrel,  cross Ebblinn's  chilled  hamlet  (thrie  routes  and  restings  on  their  then superficies  curiously  correspondant  with  those  linea  and  puncta where  our  tubenny  habenny  metro  maniplumbs  below  the  ober- flake  underrails  and  stations  at  this  time  of  riding)  to  the  thrum- mings  of  a  crewth  fiddle  which,  cremoaning  and  cronauning,  levey grevey,  witty  and  wevey,  appy,  leppy  and  playable,  caressed  the ears  of  the  subjects  of  King  Saint  Finnerty  the  Festive  who,  in brick  homes  of  their  own  and  in  their  flavory  fraiseberry  beds, heeding  hardly  cry  of  honeyman,  soed  lavender  or  foyneboyne salmon  alive,  with  their  priggish  mouths  all  open  for  the  larger appraisiation  of  this  longawaited  Messiagh  of  roaratorios,  were only  halfpast  atsweeeep  and  after  a  brisk  pause  at  a  pawnbroking establishment  for  the  prothetic  purpose  of  redeeming  the  song- ster's truly  admirable  false  teeth  and  a  prolonged  visit  to  a  house of  call  at  Cujas  Place,  fizz,  the  Old  Sots'  Hole  in  the  parish  of Saint  Cecily  within  the  liberty  of  Ceolmore  not  a  thousand  or  one national  leagues,  that  was,  by  Griffith's  valuation,  from  the  site of  the  statue  of  Primewer  Glasstone  setting  a  match  to  the  march of  a  maker  (last  of  the  stewards  peut-etre),  where,  the  tale  rambles
41
along,  the  trio  of  whackfolthediddlers  was  joined  by  a  further — intentions — apply — tomorrow  casual  and  a  decent  sort  of  the hadbeen  variety  who  had  just  been  touching  the  weekly  insult, phewit,  and  all  figblabbers  (who  saith  of  noun?)  had  stimulants in  the  shape  of  gee  and  gees  stood  by  the  damn  decent  sort  aft^r which  stag  luncheon  and  a  few  ones  more  just  to  celebrate  yester- day, flushed  with  their  firestuffostered  friendship,  the  rascals  came out  of  the  licensed  premises,  (Browne's  first,  the  small  p.s.  ex-ex- executive  capahand  in  their  sad  rear  like  a  lady's  postscript:  I  want money.  Pleasend),  wiping  their  laughleaking  lipes  on  their  sleeves, how  the  bouckaleens  shout  their  roscan  generally  (seinn  fion, seinn  fion's  araun.)  and  the  rhymers'  world  was  with  reason  the richer  for  a  wouldbe  ballad,  to  the  balledder  of  which  the  world of  cumannity  singing  owes  a  tribute  for  having  placed  on  the planet's  melomap  his  lay  of  the  vilest  bogeyer  but  most  attrac- tionable  avatar  the  world  has  ever  had  to  explain  for.
This,  more  krectly  lubeen  or  fellow  —  me  —  lieder  was  first poured  forth  where  Riau  Liviau  riots  and  col  de  Houdo  humps, under  the  shadow  of  the  monument  of  the  shouldhavebeen  legis- lator (Eleutheriodendron !  Spare,  woodmann,  spare !)  to  an  over- flow meeting  of  all  the  nations  in  Lenster  fullyfilling  the  visional area  and,  as  a  singleminded  supercrowd,  easily  representative, what  with  masks,  whet  with  faces,  of  all  sections  and  cross  sections (wineshop  and  cocoahouse  poured  out  to  brim  up  the  broaching) of  our  lifieyside  people  (to  omit  to  mention  of  the  mainland  mino- rity and  such  as  had  wayfared  via  Watling,  Ernin,  Icknild  and Stane,  in  chief  a  halted  cockney  car  with  its  quotal  of  Hardmuth's hacks,  a  northern  tory,  a  southern  whig,  an  eastanglian  chroni- cler and  a  landwester  guardian)  ranging  from  slips  of  young dublinos  from  Cutpurse  Row  having  nothing  better  to  do  than walk  about  with  their  hands  in  their  kneepants,  sucking  air- whackers,  weedulicet,  jumbobricks,  side  by  side  with  truant officers,  three  woollen  balls  and  poplin  in  search  of  a  croust  of pawn  to  busy  professional  gentlemen,  a  brace  of  palesmen  with dundrearies,  nooning  toward  Daly's,  fresh  from  snipehitting  and mallardmissing  on  Rutland  heath,  exchanging  cold  sneers,  mass-
4^
going  ladies  from  Hume  Street  in  their  chairs,  the  bearers  baited, some  wandering  hamalags  out  of  the  adjacent  cloverfields  of Mosse's  Gardens,  an  oblate  father  from  Skinner's  Alley,  brick- layers, a  fleming,  in  tabinet  fumant,  with  spouse  and  dog,  an  aged hammersmith  who  had  some  chisellers  by  the  hand,  a  bout  of cudgel  players,  not  a  few  sheep  with  the  braxy,  two  bluecoat scholars,  four  broke  gents  out  of  Simpson's  on  the  Rocks,  a portly  and  a  pert  still  tassing  Turkey  Coffee  and  orange  shrub  in tickeyes  door,  Peter  Pim  and  Paul  Fry  and  then  Elliot  and,  O, Atkinson,  suffering  hell's  delights  from  the  blains  of  their  annui- tants' acorns  not  forgetting  a  deuce  of  dianas  ridy  fbr  the  hunt,  a particularist  prebendary  pondering  on  the  roman  easter,  the  ton- sure question  and  greek  uniates,  plunk  em,  a  lace  lappet  head  or two  or  three  or  four  from  a  window,  and  so  on  down  to  a  few  good old  souls,  who,  as  they  were  juiced  after  taking  their  pledge  over  at the  uncle's  place,  were  evidently  under  the  spell  of  liquor,  from  the wake  of  Tarry  the  Tailor  a  fair  girl,  a  jolly  postoboy  thinking  off three  flagons  and  one,  a  plumodrole,  a  half  sir  from  the  weaver's almshouse  who  clings  and  clings  and  chatchatchat  clings  to  her,  a wholedam's  cloudhued  pittycoat,  as  child,  as  curiolater,  as  Caoch O'Leary.  The  wararrow  went  round,  so  it  did,  (a  nation  wants a  gaze)  and  the  ballad,  in  the  felibrine  trancoped  metre  affectioned by  Taiocebo  in  his  Casudas  de  Poulichinello  Artahut^  stump- stampaded  on  to  a  slip  of  blancovide  and  headed  by  an  excessively rough  and  red  woodcut,  privately  printed  at  the  rimepress  of Delville,  soon  fluttered  its  secret  on  white  highway  and  brown byway  to  the  rose  of  the  winds  and  the  blew  of  the  gaels,  from archway  to  lattice  and  from  black  hand  to  pink  ear,  village  crying to  village,  through  the  five  pussyfours  green  of  the  united  states of  Scotia  Picta — and  he  who  denays  it,  may  his  hairs  be  rubbed in  dirt!  To  the  added  strains  (so  peacifold)  of  his  majesty  the flute,  that onecrooned  king  of  inscrewments,  Piggott's  purest,  ciello alsoliuto^  which  Mr  Delaney  (Mr  Delacey?),  horn,  anticipating a  perfect  downpour  of  plaudits  among  the  rapsods,  piped out  of  his  decentsoort  hat,  looking  still  more  like  his  purseyful namesake  as  men  of  Gaul  noted,  but  before  of  to  sputabout,  the
43
snowycrested  curl  amoist  the  leader's  wild  and  moulting  hair, 'Ductor'  Hitchcock  hoisted  his  fezzy  fuzz  at  bludgeon's  height signum  to  his  companions  of  the  chalice  for  the  Loud  Fellow, boys'  and  silentium  in  curia/  (our  maypole  once  more  where  he  rose of  old)  and  the  canto  was  chantied  there  chorussed  and  christened where  by  the  old  tollgate.  Saint  Annona's  Street  and  Church.
And  around  the  lawn  the  rann  it  rann  and  this  is  the  rann  that Hosty  made.  Spoken.  Boyles  and  Cahills,  Skerretts  and  Pritchards, viersified  and  piersified  may  the  treeth  we  tale  of  live  in  stoney. Here  line  the  refrains  of.  Some  vote  him  Vike,  some  mote  him Mike,  some  dub  him  Llyn  and  Phin  while  others  hail  him  Lug Bug  Dan  Lop,  Lex,  Lax,  Gunne  or  Guinn.  Some  apt  him  Arth, some  bapt  him  Earth,  Coll,  Noll,  Soil,  Will,  Weel,  Wall  but  I parse  him  Persse  O'Reilly  else  he's  called  no  name  at  all.  To- gether. Arrah,  leave  it  to  Hosty,  frosty  Hosty,  leave  it  to  Hosty for  he's  the  mann  to  rhyme  the  rann,  the  rann,  the  rann,  the  king of  all  ranns.  Have  you  here.'^  (Some  ha)  Have  we  where.'*  (Some hant)  Have  you  hered.^  (Others  do)  Have  we  whered.'*  (Others  dont) '7 'It's  cumming,  it's  brumming!  The  clip,  the  clop!  (All  cla)  Glass crash.  The  (klikkaklakkaklaskaklopatzklatschabattacreppycrotty- graddaghsemmihsammihnouithappluddyappladdypkonpkot!).
[Ardite^  arditi!
iMusic
cue.
"  The  Ballad  of  Persse  O'Reilly."
Have  ijoa  heard,  of  one  Hiunp  -  ty  Dump-tij         how  he
fell  with  a  roll  and  a    ram  ble     and  curled   uj>  like  Lord  O-la-Jxt
Ma^ '  a  -  zine  Wall         Hump,  hel-tnet    and     all  DaCLjn
Crum  ple  btj  the      butt   of  the  Maj-a-zine     Wall  of  the
44
Have  you  heard  of  one  Humpty  Dumpty How  he  fell  with  a  roll  and  a  rumble And  curled  up  like  Lord  Olofa  Crumple By  the  butt  of  the  Magazine  Wall, (Chorus)  Of  the  Magazine  Wall, Hump,  helmet  and  all?
He  was  one  time  our  King  of  the  Castle  \  ^
Now  he's  kicked  about  like  a  rotten  old  parsnip. And  from  Green  street  he'll  be  sent  by  order  of  His  Worship To  the  penal  jail  of  Mountjoy
(Chorus)  To  the  jail  of  Mount] oy!  ^  ,>^
Jail  him  and  joy.
He  was  fafafather  of  all  schemes  for  to  bother  us  ^ Slow  coaches  and  immaculate  contraceptives  for  the  populace, Mare's  milk  for  the  sick,  seven  dry  Sundays  a  week, Openair  love  and  religion's  reform, (Chorus)  And  religious  reform, Hideous  in  form.
Arrah,  why,  says  you,  couldn't  he  manage  it.'^ I'll  go  bail,  my  fine  dairyman  darling. Like  the  bumping  bull  of  the  Cassidys All  your  butter  is  in  your  horns.
(Chorus)  His  butter  is  in  his  horns. Butter  his  horns !
(Repeat)  Hurrah  there,  Hosty,  frosty  Hosty,  change  that  shirt
[on  ye.
Rhyme  the  rann,  the  king  of  all  ranns!
Balbaccio^  halbuccio! We  had  chaw  chaw  chops,  chairs,  chewing  gum,  the  chicken-
[pox  and  china  chambers Universally  provided  by  this  soffsoaping  salesman.
45
Small  wonder  He'll  Cheat  E'erawan  our  local  lads  nicknamed  him When  Chimpden  first  took  the  floor
(Chorus)  "With  his  bucketshop  store Down  Bargain weg,  Lower.
So  snug  he  was  in  his  hotel  premises  sumptuous But  soon  we'll  bonfire  all  his  trash,  tricks  and  trumpery And'tis  short  till  sheriff  Clancy'll  be  winding  up  his  unlimited
[company
With  the  bailiff's  bom  at  the  door, (Chorus)  Bimbam  at  the  door.
Then  he'll  bum  no  more. Sweet  bad  luck  on  the  waves  washed  to  our  island The  hooker  of  that  hammerfast  viking  pO^  -
And  Gall's  curse  on  the  day  when  Eblana  bay  f Saw  his  black  and  tan  man-o'-war. (Chorus)  Saw  his  man-o'-war.
On  the  harbour  bar.
Where  from?  roars  Poolbeg.  Cookingha'pence,  he  bawls  Donnez-
[moi  scampitle,  wick  an  wipin'fampiny Fingal  Mac  Oscar  Onesine  Bargearse  Boniface Thok's  min  gammelhole  Norveegickers  moniker Og  as  ay  are  at  gammelhore  Norveegickers  cod. (Chorus)  A  Norwegian  camel  old  cod. He  is,  begod.
Lift  it,  Hosty,  lift  it,  ye  devil  ye!  up  with  the  rann,  the  rhyming
[rann !
It  was  during  some  fresh  water  garden  pumping
Or,  according  to  the  Nursing  Mirror,  while  admiring  the  mon-
[keys
That  our  heavyweight  heathen  Humpharey Made  bold  a  maid  to  woo
(Chorus)  Woohoo,  what'll  she  doo!
The  general  lost  her  maidenloo! 46
1%
J.  i^-^
He  ought  to  blush  for  himself,  the  old  hayheaded  philosopher, For  to  go  and  shove  himself  that  way  on  top  of  her. Begob,  he's  the  crux  of  the  catalogue  \  /) Of  our  antediluvial  zoo,
(Chorus)  Messrs.  Billing  and  Coo.
Noah's  larks,  good  as  noo.
He  was  joulting  by  Wellinton's  monument  j Our  rotorious  hippopopotamuns
When  some  bugger  let  down  the  backtrap  of  the  omnibus And  he  caught  his  death  of  fusiliers,  — - — ~  ^  knij^y  ^k^^tir^  e/^ (Chorus)  With  his  rent  in  his  rears. Give  him  six  years.
'Tis  sore  pity  for  his  innocent  poor  children But  look  out  for  his  missus  legitimate! When  that  frew  gets  a  grip  of  old  Earwicker Won't  there  be  earwigs  on  the  green.'^ (Chorus)  Big  earwigs  on  the  green.
The  largest  ever  you  seen.  -t^<^
Suffoclose!  Shikespower!  Seudodanto!  Anonymoses!
Then  we'll  have  a  free  trade  Gaels'  band  and  mass  meeting  ^  ^^^^
For  to  sod  the  brave  son  of  Scandiknavery.  ^ And  we'll  bury  him  down  in  Oxmanstown Along  with  the  devil  and  Danes,  viv^^v^ (Chorus)  With  the  deaf  and  dumb  Danes, And  all  their  remains.
And  not  all  the  king's  men  nor  his  horses Will  resurrect  his  corpus
For  there's  no  true  spell  in  Connacht  or  hell  ^^^^v  v^-^^^'^  '^^
(bis)  That's  able  to  raise  a  Cain.  — - — '         _  >
47
Chest  Cee!  'Sdense!  Corpo  di  barragio!  you  spoof  of  visibility in  a  freakfog,  of  mixed  sex  cases  among  goats,  hill  cat  and  plain mousey,  Bigamy  Bob  and  his  old  Shanvocht!  The  Blackfriars treacle  plaster  outrage  be  liddled !  Therewith  was  released  in  that kingsrick  of  Humidia  a  poisoning  volume  of  cloud  barrage  indeed. Yet  all  they  who  heard  or  redelivered  are  now  with  that  family of  bards  and  Vergobretas  himself  and  the  crowd  of  Caraculacticors as  much  no  more  a^  be  they  not  yet  now  or  had  they  then  not- ever  been.  Canbe  in  some  future  we  shall  presently  here  amid those  zouave  players  of  Inkermann  the  rnime  mumming  the  mick and  his  nick  miming  their  maggies,  Hilton  St  Just  (Mr  Frank Smith),  Ivanne  Ste  Austelle  (Mr  J.  F.  Jones),  Coleman  of  Lucan taking  four  parts,  a  choir  of  the  O'Daley  O'Doyles  doublesixing the  chorus  in  Fenn  Mac  Call  and  the  Serven  Feeries  of  Loch  Neach^ Galloper  Troppler  and  Hurleyquinn  the  zitherer  of  the  past  with  his merrymen  all,  zimzim,  zimzim.  Of  the  persins  sin  this  Eyrawyg- gla  saga  (which,  thorough  readable  to  int  from  and,  is  from  tubb to  buttom  all  falsetissues,  antilibellous  and  nonactionable  and  this applies  to  its  whole  wholume)  of  poor  Osti-Fosti,  described  as quite  a  musical  genius  in  a  small  way  and  the  owner  of  an exceedingly  niced  ear,  with  tenorist  voice  to  match,  not  alone, but  a  very  major  poet  of  the  poorly  meritary  order  (he  began Tuonisonian  but  worked  his  passage  up  as  far  as  the  we-all- hang-together  Animandovites)  no  one  end  is  known.  If  they
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whistled  him  before  he  had  curtains  up  they  are  whistling  him still  after  his  curtain's  doom's  doom.  Eifii.  His  husband,  poor  old A'Hara  (Okaroff?)  crestfallen  by  things  and  down  at  heels  at  the time,  they  squeak,  accepted  the  (Zassnoch!)  ardree's  shilling  at the  conclusion  of  the  Crimean  war  and,  having  flown  his  wild geese,  alohned  in  crowds  to  warnder  on  like  Shuley  Luney, enlisted  in  Tyrone's  horse,  the  Irish  whites,  and  soldiered  a  bit with  Wolsey  under  the  assumed  name  of  Blanco  Fusilovna  Buck- lovitch  (spurious)  after  which  the  cawer  and  the  marble  halls of  Pump  Court  Columbarium,  the  home  of  the  old  seakings, looked  upon  each  other  and  queth  their  haven  evermore  for  it transpires  that  on  the  other  side  of  the  water  it  came  about  that  on the  field  of  Vasileff's  Cornix  inauspiciously  with  his  unit  he perished,  saying,  this  papal  leafless  to  old  chap  give,  rawl  chaw- clates  for  mouther-in-louth.  Booil.  Poor  old  dear  Paul  Horan, to  satisfy  his  literary  as  well  as  his  criminal  aspirations,  at  the suggestion  thrown  out  by  the  doomster  in  loquacity  lunacy,  so says  the  Dublin  Intelligence,  was  thrown  into  a  Ridley's  for inmates  in  the  northern  counties.  Under  the  name  of  Orani  he may  have  been  the  utility  man  of  the  troupe  capable  of  sustain- ing long  parts  at  short  notice.  He  was.  Sordid  Sam,  a  dour  decent deblancer,  the  unwashed,  haunted  always  by  his  ham,  the  unwished, at  a  word  from  Israfel  the  Summoner,  passed  away  painlessly after  life's  upsomdowns  one  hallowe'en  night,  ebbrous  and  in the  state  of  nature,  propelled  from  Behind  into  the  great  Beyond by  footblows  coulinclouted  upon  his  oyster  and  atlas  on  behanged and  behooved  and  behicked  and  behulked  of  his  last  fishandblood bedscrappers,  a  Northwegian  and  his  mate  of  the  Sheawolving class.  Though  the  last  straw  glimt  his  baring  this  stage  thunkhard is  said  (the  pitfallen  gagged  him  as  'Promptboxer')  to  have solemnly  said  —  as  had  the  brief  thot  but  fell  in  till  his  head  like a  bass  dropt  neck  fust  in  till  a  bung  crate  (cogged!):  Me  drames, O'Loughlins,  has  come  through!  Now  let  the  centuple  celves  of my  egourge  as  Micholas  de  Cusack  calls  them,  —  of  all  of  whose I  in  my  hereinafter  of  course  by  recourse  demission  me  —  by the  coincidance  of  their  contraries  reamalgamerge  in  that  indentity
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of  undiscernibles  where  the  Baxters  and  the  Fleshmans  may they  cease  to  bidivil  uns  and  (but  at  this  poingt  though  the  iron thrust  of  his  cockspurt  start  might  have  prepared  us  we  are  well- nigh  stinkpotthered  by  the  mustardpunge  in  the  tailend)  this outandin  brown  candlestock  melt  Nolan's  into  peese!  Han  var. Disliken  as  he  was  to  druriodrama,  her  wife  Langley,  the  prophet, and  the  decentest  dozendest  short  of  a  frusker  whoever  stuck  his spickle  through  his  spoke,  disappeared,  (in  which  toodooing  he has  taken  all  the  French  leaves  unveilable  out  of  Calomne- quiller's  Pravities)  from  the  sourface  of  this  earth,  that  austral plain  he  had  transmaried  himself  to,  so  entirely  spoorlessly  (the mother  of  the  book  with  a  dustwhisk  tabularasing  his  obliteration done  upon  her  involucrum)  as  to  tickle  the  speculative  to  all  but opine  (since  the  Levey  who  might  have  been  Langley  may  have really  been  a  redivivus  of  paganinism  or  a  volunteer  Vousden) that  the  hobo  (who  possessed  a  large  amount  of  the  humoresque) had  transtuled  his  funster's  latitat  to  its  finsterest  interrimost.  Bhi she.  Again,  if  Father  San  Browne,  tea  and  toaster  to  that  quaint- esttest  of  yarnspinners  is  Padre  Don  Bruno,  treu  and  troster  to the  queen  of  lar-Spain,  was  the  reverend,  the  sodality  director, that  eupeptic  viceflayer,  a  barefaced  carmelite,  to  whose  palpi- tating pulpit  (which  of  us  but  remembers  the  rarevalent  and hornerable  Fratomistor  Nawlanmore  and  Brawne.)  sinning  society sirens  (see  the  [Roman  Catholic]  presspassim)  fortunately  became so  enthusiastically  attached  and  was  an  objectionable  ass  who  very occasionally  cockaded  a  raffles  ticket  on  his  hat  which  he  wore  all to  one  side  like  the  hangle  of  his  pan  (if  Her  Elegance  saw  him she'd  have  the  canary!)  and  was  semiprivately  convicted  of  mal- practices with  his  hotwashed  tableknife  (glossing  over  the  cark in  his  pocket)  that  same  snob  of  the  dunhill,  fully  several  year- schaums  riper,  encountered  by  the  General  on  that  redletter morning  or  maynoon  jovesday  and  were  they?  Fuitfuit.
When  Phishlin  Phil  wants  throws  his  lip  'tis  pholly  to  be  fortune flonting  and  whoever's  gone  to  mix  Hotel  by  the  salt  say  water there's  nix  to  nothing  we  can  do  for  he's  never  again  to  sea.  It is  nebuless  an  autodidact  fact  of  the  commonest  that  the  shape  of
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tile  average  human  cloudyphiz,  whereas  sallow  has  long  daze faded,  frequently  altered  its  ego  with  the  possing  of  the  showers (Not  original!).  Whence  it  is  a  slopperish  matter,  given  the  wet and  low  visibility  (since  in  this  scherzarade  of  one's  thousand  one nightinesses  that  sword  of  certainty  which  would  indentifide  the body  never  falls)  to  idendifine  the  individuone  in  scratch  wig, squarecuts,  stock  lavaleer,  regattable  oxeter,  baggy  pants  and shufflers  (he  is  often  alluded  to  as  Slypatrick,  the  Had  in  the  llane) with  already  an  incipience  (lust!)  in  the  direction  of  area  baldness (one  is  continually  firstmeeting  with  odd  sorts  of  others  at  all sorts  of  ages!)  who  was  asked  by  free  boardschool  shirkers  in drenched  coats  overawall,  Will,  Conn  and  Otto,  to  tell  them overagait.  Vol,  Pov  and  Dev,  that  fishabed  ghoatstory  of  the haardly  creditable  edventyres  of  the  Haberdasher,  the  two  Cur- chies  and  the  three  Enkelchums  in  their  Bearskin  ghoats!  Girles and  jongers,  but  he  has  changed  alok  syne  Thorkill's  time!  Ya,  da, tra,  gathery,  pimp,  shesses,  shossafat,  okodeboko,  nine!  Those many  warts,  those  slummy  patches,  halfsinster  wrinkles,  (what has  come  over  the  face  on  wholebroader  E?),  and  (shrine  of Mount  Mu  save  us!)  the  large  fungopark  he  has  grown!  Drink!
Sport's  a  common  thing.  It  was  the  Lord's  own  day  for  damp (to  wait  for  a  postponed  regatta's  eventualising  is  not  of  Battlecock Shettledore  -  Juxta  -  Mare  only)  and  the  request  for  a  fully armed  explanation  was  put  (in  Loo  of  Pat)  to  the  porty  (a  native of  the  sisterisle  —  Meathman  or  Meccan.'*  —  by  his  brogue,  ex- race  eyes,  lokil  calour  and  lucal  odour  which  are  said  to  have been  average  clownturkish  (though  the  capelist's  voiced  nasal liquids  and  the  way  he  sneezed  at  zees  haul  us  back  to  the  craogs and  bryns  of  the  Silurian  Ordovices)  who,  the  lesser  pilgrimage accomplished,  had  made,  pats'  and  pigs'  older  inselt,  the  south- east bluffs  of  the  stranger  stepshore,  a  regifugium  persecutorurriy hence  hindquarters)  as  he  paused  at  evenchime  for  some  or  so minutes  (hit  the  pipe,  dannyboy!  Time  to  won,  barmon.  I'll  take ten  to  win.)  amid  the  devil's  one  duldrum  (Apple  by  her  blossom window  and  Charlotte  at  her  toss  panomancy  his  sole  admirers, his  only  tearts  in  store)  for  a  fragrend  culubosh  during  his  week-
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end  pastime  of  executing  with  Anny  Oakley  deadliness  (the  con- summatory  pairs  of  provocatives,  of  which  remained  provokingly but  two,  the  ones  he  fell  for,  Lili  and  Tutu,  cork  em!)  empties which  had  not  very  long  before  contained  Reid's  family  (you  ruad that  before,  soaky,  but  all  the  bottles  in  sodemd  histry  will  not soften  your  bloodathirst!)  stout.  Having  reprimed  his  repeater and  resiteroomed  his  timespiece  His  Revenances,  with  still  a  life or  two  to  spare  for  the  space  of  his  occupancy  of  a  world  at  a  time, rose  to  his  feet  and  there,  far  from  Tolkaheim,  in  a  quiet  English garden  (commonplace!),  since  known  as  Whiddington  Wild,  his simple  intensive  curolent  vocality,  my  dearbraithers,  my  most dearbrathairs,  as  he,  so  is  a  supper  as  is  a  sipper,  spake  of  the One  and  told  of  the  Compassionate,  called  up  before  the  triad  of precoxious  scaremakers  (scoretaking:  Spegulo  ne  helpas  al  mal- bellulo,  Mi  Kredas  ke  vi  estas  prava.  Via  dote  la  vizago  rispondas fraulino)  the  now  to  ushere  mythical  habiliments  of  Our  Farfar and  Arthor  of  our  doyne.
Television  kills  telephony  in  brothers'  broil.  Our  eyes  de- mand their  turn.  Let  them  be  seen!  And  wolf  bone  balefires  blaze the  trailmost  if  only  that  Mary  Nothing  may  burst  her  bibby buckshee.  When  they  set  fire  then  she's  got  to  glow  so  we  may stand  some  chances  of  warming  to  what  every  soorkabatcha, tum  or  hum,  would  like  to  know.  The  first  Humphrey's  latitu- dinous  baver  with  puggaree  behind,  (calaboose  belong  bigboss belong  Kang  the  Toll)  his  fourinhand  bow,  his  elbaroom  surtout, the  refaced  unmansionables  of  gingerine  hue,  the  state  slate umbrella,  his  gruff  woolselywellesly  with  the  finndrinn  knopfs and  the  gauntlet  upon  the  hand  which  in  an  hour  not  for  him solely  evil  had  struck  down  the  might  he  mighthavebeen  d'Est- erre  of  whom  his  nation  seemed  almost  already  to  be  about  to have  need.  Then,  stealing  his  thunder,  but  in  the  befitting  le- gomena  of  the  smaller  country,  (probable  words,  possibly  said,  of field  family  gleaming)  a  bit  duskish  and  flavoured  with  a  smile, seein  as  ow  his  thoughts  consisted  chiefly  of  the  cheerio,  he  aptly sketched  for  our  soontobe  second  parents  (sukand  see  whybe!) the  touching  seene.  The  solence  of  that  stilling!  Here  one  might
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a  fin  fell.  Boomster  rombombonant !  It  scenes  like  a  landescape from  Wildu  Picturescu  or  some  seem  on  some  dimb  Arras,  dumb as  Mum's  mutyness,  this  mimage  of  the  seventyseventh  kusin  of kristansen  is  odable  to  os  across  the  wineless  Ere  no  oedor  nor mere  eerie  nor  liss  potent  of  suggestion  than  in  the  tales  of  the tingmount.  (Prigged!)
And  there  oftafter,  jauntyjogging,  on  an  Irish  visavis,  instea- dily  with  shoulder  to  shoulder  Jehu  will  tell  to  Christianier,  saint to  sage,  the  humphriad  of  that  fall  and  rise  while  daisy  winks  at her  pinker  sister  among  the  tussocks  and  the  copoll  between  the shafts  mocks  the  couple  on  the  car.  And  as  your  who  may  look like  how  on  the  owther  side  of  his  big  belttry  your  tyrs  and  does your  noes  and  paradigm  maymay  rererise  in  eren.  Follow  we  up his  whip  vindicative.  Thurston's!  Lo  behold!  La  arhoro^  lo petrusu.  The  augustan  peacebetothem  oaks,  the  monolith  rising stark  from  the  moonlit  pinebarren.  In  all  fortitudinous  ajaxious rowdinoisy  tenuacity.  The  angelus  hour  with  ditchers  bent  upon their  farm  usetensiles,  the  soft  belling  of  the  fallow  deers  {doereh- moose  genuanef)  advertising  their  milky  approach  as  midnight was  striking  the  hours  (letate!\  and  how  brightly  the  great  tri- bune outed  the  sharkskin  smokewallet  (imitation!)  from  his frock,  kippers,  and  by  Joshua,  he  tips  un  a  topping  swank cheroot,  none  of  your  swellish  soide,  quoit  the  reverse,  and  how manfally  he  says,  pluk  to  pluk  and  lekan  for  lukan,  he  was  to  just pluggy  well  suck  that  brown  boyo,  my  son,  and  spend  a  whole half  hour  in  Havana.  Sorer  of  the  kreeksmen,  would  not  thore  be old  high  gothsprogue !  Wherefore  he  met  Master,  he  mean  to  say, he  do,  sire,  bester  of  redpublicans,  at  Eagle  Cock  Hostel  on Lorenzo  Tooley  street  and  how  he  wished  his  Honour  the  ban- nocks of  Gort  and  Morya  and  Bri  Head  and  Puddyrick,  yore Loudship,  and  a  starchboxsitting  in  the  pit  of  his  St  Tomach's, —  a  strange  wish  for  you,  my  friend,  and  it  would  poleaxe  your sonson's  grandson  utterly  though  your  own  old  sweatandswear floruerunts  heaved  it  hoch  many  as  the  times,  when  they  were turrified  by  the  hitz.
Chee  chee  cheers  for  Upkingbilly  and  crow  cru  cramwells
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Downaboo!  Hup,  boys,  and  hat  him!  See!  Oilbeam  they're  lost we've  found  rerembrandtsers,  their  hours  to  date  link  these  heirs to  here  but  wowhere  are  those  yours  of  Yestersdays?  Farseeinge- therich  and  Poolaulwoman  Charachthercuss  and  his  Ann  van Vogt.  D.e.e.d!  Edned,  ended  or  sleeping  soundlessly?  Favour with  your  tongues!  Intenditef
Any  dog's  life  you  list  you  may  still  hear  them  at  it,  like  sixes and  seventies  as  eversure  as  Halley's  comet,  ulemamen,  sobran- jewomen,  storthingboys  and  dumagirls,  as  they  pass  its  bleak  and bronze  portal  of  your  Casaconcordia:  Huru  more  Nee,  minny frickans?  Hwoorledes  har  Dee  det?  Losdoor  onleft  mladies,  cue. Millecientotrigintadue  scudi.  Tippoty,  kyrie,  tippoty.  Cha  kai rotty  kai  makkar,  sahib?  Despenseme  Usted,  senhor,  en  son  suc- co,  sabez.  O  thaw  bron  orm,  A'Cothraige,  thinkinthou  gaily? Lick-Pa-flai-hai-pa-Pa-li-si-lang-lang.  Epi  alo,  ecou.  Batiste,  tu- vavnr  dans  Lptit  boing  going.  Ismeme  de  bumbac  e  meias  de  por- tocallie.  0.0.  Os  pipos  mios  es  demasiada  gruarso  por  O  pic- colo pocchino.  Wee  fee?  Ung  duro.  Kocshis,  szabad?  Mercy,  and you?  Gomagh,  thak.
And,  Cod,  says  he  with  mugger's  tears:  Would  you  care  to know  the  prise  of  a  Hard?  Maggis,  nick  your  nightynovel!  Mass Travener's  at  the  mike  again!  And  that  bag  belly  is  the  buck to  goat  it!  Meggeg,  m'gay  chapjappy  fellow,  I  call  our  univalse to  witness,  as  sicker  as  moyliffey  eggs  is  known  by  our  good househalters  from  yorehunderts  of  mamooth  to  be  which  they commercially  are  in  ahoy  high  British  quarters  (conventional!) my  guesthouse  and  cowhaendel  credits  will  immediately  stand ohoh  open  as  straight  as  that  neighbouring  monument's  fabrica- tion before  the  hygienic  gUll  (this  was  where  the  reverent  sab- both  and  bottlebreaker  with  firbalk  forthstretched  touched  upon his  tricoloured  boater,  which  he  uplifted  by  its  pickledhoopy  (he gave  Stetson  one  and  a  penny  for  it)  whileas  oleaginosity  of  an- cestralolosis  sgocciolated  down  the  both  pendencies  of  his  mut- sohito  liptails  (Sencapetulo,  a  more  modestuous  conciliabulite never  curled  a  torn  pocketmouth),  cordially  inwiting  the  adul- lescence  who  he  was  wising  up  to  do  in  like  manner  what  all  did
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so  as  he  was  able  to  add)  lobe  before  the  Great  Schoolmaster's. (I  tell  you  no  story.)  Smile!
The  house  of  Atreox  is  fallen  indeedust  (Ilyam,  Ilyum!  Mae- romor  Mournomates !)  averging  on  blight  like  the  mundibanks  of Fennyana,  but  deeds  bounds  going  arise  again.  Life,  he  himself said  once,  (his  biografiend,  in  fact,  kills  him  verysoon,  if  yet  not, after)  is  a  wake,  livit  or  krikit,  and  on  the  bunk  of  our  bread- winning  lies  the  cropse  of  our  seedfather,  a  phrase  which  the establisher  of  the  world  by  law  might  pretinately  write  across the  chestfront  of  all  manorwombanborn.  The  scene,  refreshed, reroused,  was  never  to  be  forgotten,  the  hen  and  crusader  ever- intermutuomergent,  for  later  in  the  century  one  of  that  puisne band  of  factferreters,  (then  an  excivily  (out  of  the  custom  huts) (retired),  (hurt),  under  the  sixtyfives  act)  in  a  dressy  black  modern style  and  wewere  shiny  tan  burlingtons,  (tam,  homd  and  dicky, quopriquos  and  peajagd)  rehearsed  it,  pippa  pointing,  with  a dignified  (copied)  bow  to  a  namecousin  of  the  late  archdeacon F.  X.  Preserved  Coppinger  (a  hot  fellow  in  his  night,  may  the mouther  of  guard  have  mastic  on  him!)  in  a  pullwoman  of  our first  transhibernian  with  one  still  sadder  circumstance  which  is  a dirkandurk  heartskewerer  if  ever  to  bring  bouncing  brimmers from  marbled  eyes.  Cycloptically  through  the  windowdisks  and with  eddying  awes  the  round  eyes  of  the  rundreisers,  back  to  back, buck  to  bucker,  on  their  airish  chaunting  car,  beheld  with  in- touristing  anterestedness  the  clad  pursue  the  bare,  the  bare  the green,  the  green  the  frore,  the  frore  the  cladagain,  as  their  convoy wheeled  encirculingly  abound  the  gigantig's  lifetree,  our  fire- leaved  loverlucky  blomsterbohm,  phoenix  in  our  woodlessness, haughty,  cacuminal,  erubescent  (repetition!)  whose  roots  they  be asches  with  lustres  of  peins.  For  as  often  as  the  Archicadenus, pleacing  aside  his  Irish  Field  and  craving  their  auriculars  to  re- cepticle  particulars  before  they  got  the  bump  at  Castlebar  (mat and  far!)  spoke  of  it  by  request  all,  hearing  in  this  new  reading of  the  part  whereby,  because  of  Dyas  in  his  machina,  the  new garrickson's  grimacing  grimaldism  hypostasised  by  substintua- tion  the  axiomatic  orerotundity  of  that  once  grand  old  elrington
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bawl,  the  copycus's  description  of  that  fellowcommuter's  plav upon  countenants,  could  simply  imagine  themselves  in  their  bo- som's inmost  core,  as  pro  tern  locums^  timesported  acorss  the  yawn- ing (abyss),  as  once  they  were  seasiders,  listening  to  the  cockshy- shooter's  evensong  evocation  of  the  doomed  but  always  ventri- loquent  Agitator,  (nonot  more  plangorpound  the  billows  o'er Thounawahallya  Reef!)  silkhouatted,  a  whallrhosmightiadd,  a- ginsst  the  dusk  of  skumring,  (would  that  fane  be  Saint  Muezzin's calling  —  holy  places !  —  and  this  fez  brimless  as  brow  of  faithful toucher  of  the  ground,  did  wish  it  were  —  blessed  be  the  bones ! —  the  ghazi,  power  of  his  sword.)  his  manslayer's  gunwielder protended  towards  that  overgrown  leadpencil  which  was  soon, monumentally  at  least,  to  rise  as  Molyvdokondylon  to,  to  be,  to be  his  mausoleum  (O'dan  stod  tillsteyne  at  meisies  aye  skould show  pon)  while  olover  his  exculpatory  features,  as  Roland  rung, a  wee  dropeen  of  grief  about  to  sillonise  his  jouejous,  the  ghost of  resignation  diffused  a  spectral  appealingness,  as  a  young  man's drown  o'er  the  fate  of  his  waters  may  gloat,  similar  in  origin  and akkurat  in  effective  to  a  beam  of  sunshine  upon  a  coffin  plate.
Not  olderwise  Inn  the  days  of  the  Bygning  would  our  Travel- ler remote,  unfriended,  from  van  Demon's  Land,  some  lazy skald  or  maundering  pote,  lift  wearywilly  his  slowcut  snobsic eyes  to  the  semisigns  of  his  zooteac  and  lengthily  lingering  along flaskneck,  cracket  cup,  downtrodden  brogue,  turfsod,  wild- broom,  cabbageblad,  stockfisch,  longingly  learn  that  there  at  the Angel  were  herberged  for  him  poteen  and  tea  and  praties  and baccy  and  wine  width  woman  wordth  warbling:  and  informally quasi-begin  to  presquesm'ile  to  queasithin'  (Nonsense!  There was  not  very  much  windy  Nous  blowing  at  the  given  moment through  the  hat  of  Mr  Melancholy  Slow!)
But  in  the  pragma  what  formal  cause  made  a  smile  of  that  to- think.'^  Who  was  he  to  whom.'*  (O'Breen's  not  his  name  nor  the brown  one  his  maid.)  Whose  are  the  placewheres.'*  Kiwasti,  kis- ker,  kither,  kitnabudja.^  Tal  the  tem  of  the  tumulum.  Giv  the  gav of  the  grube.  Be  it  cudgelplayers'  country,  orfishfellows'  town  or leeklickers'  land  or  panbpanungopovengreskey.  What  regnans
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raised  the  rains  have  levelled  but  we  hear  the  pointers  and  can gauge  their  compass  for  the  melos  yields  the  mode  and  the  mode the  manners  plicyman,  plansiman,  plousiman,  plab.  Tsin  tsin  tsin tsin!  The  forefarther  folkers  for  a  prize  of  two  peaches  with Ming,  Ching  and  Shunny  on  the  lie  low  lea.  We'll  sit  down  on the  hope  of  the  ghouly  ghost  for  the  titheman  troubleth  but  his hantitat  hies  not  here.  They  answer  from  their  Zoans;  Hear  the four  of  them!  Hark  torroar  of  them!  I,  says  Armagh,  and  a'm proud  o'it.  I,  says  Clonakilty,  God  help  us !  I,  says  Deansgrange, and  say  nothing.  I,  says  Barna,  and  whatabout  it?  Hee  haw!  Be- fore he  fell  hill  he  filled  heaven:  a  stream,  alplapping  streamlet, coyly  coiled  um,  cool  of  her  curls:  We  were  but  thermites  then, wee,  wee.  Our  antheap  we  sensed  as  a  Hill  of  Allen,  the  Barrow for  an  People,  one  Jotnursfjaell:  and  it  was  a  grummelung  amung the  porktroop  that  wonderstruck  us  as  a  thunder,  yunder.
Thus  the  unfacts,  did  we  possess  them,  are  too  imprecisely few  to  warrant  our  certitude,  the  evidencegivers  by  legpoll  too untrustworthily  irreperible  where  his  adjugers  are  semmingly freak  threes  but  his  judicandees  plainly  minus  twos.  Neverthe- less Madam's  Toshowus  waxes  largely  more  lifeliked  (entrance, one  kudos;  exits,  free)  and  our  notional  gullery  is  now  com- pletely complacent,  an  exegious  monument,  aerily  perennious. Oblige  with  your  blackthorns;  gamps,  degrace!  And  there  many have  paused  before  that  exposure  of  him  by  old  Tom  Quad,  a flashback  in  which  he  sits  sated,  gowndabout,  in  clericalease  ha- bit, watching  bland  sol  slithe  dodgsomely  into  the  nethermore, a  globule  of  maugdleness  about  to  corrugitate  his  mild  dewed cheek  and  the  tata  of  a  tiny  victorienne,  Alys,  pressed  by  his limper  looser.
Yet  certes  one  is.  Eher  the  following  winter  had  overed  the pages  of  nature's  book  and  till  Ceadurbar-atta-Cleath  became Dablena  Tertia,  the  shadow  of  the  huge  outlander,  maladik,  mult- vult,  magnoperous,  had  bulked  at  the  bar  of  a  rota  of  tribunals  in manor  hall  as  in  thieves'  kitchen,  mid  pillow  talk  and  chithouse chat,  on  Marlborough  Green  as  through  Molesworth  Fields,  here sentenced  pro  tried  with  Jedburgh  justice,  there  acquitted  con-
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testimony  with  benefit  of  clergy.  His  Thing  Mod  have  undone him:  and  his  madthing  has  done  him  man.  His  beneficiaries  are legion  in  the  part  he  created:  they  number  up  his  years.  Greatwheel Dunlop  was  the  name  was  on  him:  behung,  all  we  are  his  bisaacles. As  hollyday  in  his  house  so  was  he  priest  and  king  to  that:  ulvy came,  envy  saw,  ivy  conquered.  Lou!  Lou!  They  have  waved  his green  boughs  o'er  him  as  they  have  torn  him  limb  from  lamb. For  his  muertificarion  and  uxpiration  and  dumnation  and  annu- hulation.  With  schreis  and  grida,  deprofound  souspirs.  Steady, sullivans!  Mannequins  pause!  Longtong*s  breach  is  fallen  down but  Graunya's  spreed's  abroad.  Ahdostay,  feedailyones,  and  feel the  Flucher*s  bawls  for  the  total  of  your  flouts  is  not  fit  to  fan  his fettle,  O!  Have  a  ring  and  sing  wohl!  Chin,  chin!  Chin,  chin! And  of  course  all  chimed  din  width  the  eatmost  boviality.  Swip- ing rums  and  beaunes  and  sherries  and  ciders  and  negus  and  cit- ronnades  too.  The  strongers.  Oho,  oho,  Mester  Begge,  you're about  to  be  bagged  in  the  bog  again.  Bugge.  But  softsies  seuf- sighed:  Eheu,  for  gassies!  But,  lo!  lo!  by  the  threnning  gods, human,  erring  and  condonable,  what  the  statues  of  our  kuo,  who is  the  messchef  be  our  kuang,  ashu  ashure  there,  the  unforgettable treeshade  looms  up  behind  the  jostling  judgements  of  those,  as all  should  owe,  malrecapturable  days.
Tap  and  pat  and  tapatagain,  (fire  firstshot,  Missiers  the  Refusel- eers!  Peingpeong!  For  saxonlootie !)  three  tommix,  soldiers  free, cockaleak  and  cappapee,  of  the  Coldstream.  Guards  were  walking, in  {pardonnei-leur^  je  vous  en  prie^  eh?)  Montgomery  Street.  One voiced  an  opinion  in  which  on  either  wide  {pardonnei/\  nod- ding, all  the  Finner  Camps  concurred  {je  vous  en  prie^  ehF),  It was  the  first  woman,  they  said,  souped  him,  that  fatal  wellesday, Lili  Coninghams,  by  suggesting  him  they  go  in  a  field.  Wroth mod  eldfar,  ruth  redd  stilstand,  wrath  wrackt  wroth,  confessed private  Pat  Marchison  retro,  (Terse!)  Thus  contenters  with  san- toys  play.  One  of  our  coming  Vauxhall  ontheboards  who  is resting  for  the  moment  (she  has  been  callit  by  a  noted  stagey  ele- cutioner  a  wastepacket  Sittons)  was  interfeud  in  a  waistend  pewty parlour.  Looking  perhaps  even  more  pewtyflushed  in  her  cherry-
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deny  padouasoys,  girdle  and  braces  by  the  Halfmoon  and  Seven Stars,  russets  from  the  Blackamoor's  Head,  amongst  the  climbing boys  at  his  Eagle  and  Child  and  over  the  corn  and  hay  emptors at  their  Black  and  All  Black,  Mrs  F  . .  .  A . .  .  saidaside,  half  in stage  of  whisper  to  her  confidante  glass,  while  recoopering  her cartwheel  chapot  (ahat!  — and  we  now  know  what  thimbles  a baquets  on  lallance  a  tails  mean),  she  hoped  Sid  Arthar  would git  a  Chrissman's  portrout  of  orange  and  lemonsized  orchids  with hollegs  and  ether,  from  the  feeatre  of  the  Innocident,  as  the worryld  had  been  uncained.  Then,  while  it  is  odrous  comparison- ing  to  the  sprangflpwers  of  his  burstday  which  was  a  virid- able  goddinpotty  for  the  reinworms  and  the  charlattinas  and  all branches  of  climatitis,  it  has  been  such  a  wanderful  noyth  untirely, added  she,  with  many  regards  to  Maha's  pranjapansies.  (Tart!) Prehistoric,  obitered  to  his  dictaphone  an  entychologist:  his  pro- penomen  is  a  properismenon.  A  dustman  nocknamed  Seven- churches  in  the  employ  of  Messrs  Achburn,  Soulpetre  and Ashreborn,  prairmakers,  Glintalook,  was  asked  by  the  sisterhood the  vexed  question  during  his  midday  collation  of  leaver  and buckrom  alternatively  with  stenk  and  kitteney  phie  in  a  hash- housh  and,  thankeaven,  responsed  impulsively:  We  have  just  been propogandering  his  nullity  suit  and  what  they  took  out  of  his  ear among  my  own  crush.  All  our  fellows  at  0'Dea*s  sages  with Aratar  Calaman  he  is  a  cemented  brick,  buck  it  all!  A  more  nor usually  sober  cardriver,  who  was  jauntingly  hosing  his  runabout. Ginger  Jane,  took  a  strong  view.  Lorry  hosed  her  as  he  talked and  this  is  what  he  told  rewritemen:  Irewaker  is  just  a  plain  pink joint  reformee  in  private  life  but  folks  all  have  it  by  brehemons laws  he  has  parliamentary  honours.  Eiskaffier  said  (Louigi's,  you know  that  man*s,  brillant  Savourain):  Mon  foicy  you  wish  to  ave some  homelette,  yes,  lady !  Good,  mein  leber !  Your  hegg  he  must break  himself.  See,  I  crack,  so,  he  sit  in  the  poele,  umbedimbt! A  perspirer  (over  sixty)  who  was  keeping  up  his  tennises  panted he  kne  ho  har  twa  to  elect  infamatios  but  a  difFpair  flannels  climb wall  and  trespassing  on  doorbell.  After  fullblown  Braddon  hear this  fresky  troterella!  A  railways  barmaid's  view  (they  call  her
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Spilltears  Rue)  was  thus  expressed:  to  sympathisers  of  the  Dole Line,  Death  Avenue,  anent  those  objects  of  her  pity-prompted ministrance,  to  wet,  man  and  his  syphon.  Ehim!  It  is  ever  too late  to  whissle  when  Phyllis  floods  her  stable.  It  would  be  skar- lot  shame  to  jailahim  in  lockup,  as  was  proposed  to  him  by  the Seddoms  creature  what  matter  what  merrytricks  went  off  with his  revulverher  in  connections  with  ehim  being  a  norphan  and enjoining  such  wicked  illth,  ehim!  Well  done,  Drumcollakill ! Kitty  Tyrrel  is  proud  of  you,  was  the  reply  of  a  B.O.T.  official (O  blame  gnot  the  board!)  while  the  Daughters  Benkletter  mur- mured in  uniswoon:  Golforgilhisjurylegs!  Brian  Lynsky,  the  cub curser,  was  questioned  at  his  shouting  box,  Bawlonabraggat,  and gave  a  snappy  comeback,  when  saying:  Paw!  Once  more  FU hellbowl !  I  am  for  caveman  chase  and  Sahara  sex,  burk  you !  Them two  bitches  ought  to  be  leashed,  canem!  Up  hog  and  hoar  hunt! Paw!  A  wouldbe  martyr,  who  is  attending  on  sanit  Asitas  where he  is  being  taught  to  wear  bracelets,  when  grilled  on  the  point, revealed  the  undoubted  fact  that  the  consequence  would  be  that so  long  as  Sankya  Moondy  played  his  mango  tricks  under  the mysttetry,  with  shady  apsaras  sheltering  in  his  leaves'  licence  and his  shadowers  torrifried  by  the  potent  bolts  of  indradiction,  there would  be  fights  all  over  Cuxhaven.  (Tosh!)  Missioner  Ida  Womb- well,  the  seventeenyearold  revivalist,  said  concerning  the  coinci- dent of  interfizzing  with  grenadines  and  other  respectable  and disgusted  peersons  using  the  park:  That  perpendicular  person  is a  brut!  But  a  magnificent  brut!  'Caligula  (Mr  Danl  Magrath, bookmaker,  wellknown  to  Eastrailian  poorusers  of  the  Sydney Parade  Ballotin)  was,  as  usual,  antipodal  with  his:  striving  todie, hopening  tomellow.  Ware  Splash.  Cobbler.  We  have  meat  two hourly,  sang  out  El  Caplan  Buycout,  with  the  famous  padre's turridur's  capecast,  meet  too  ourly,  matadear!  Dan  Meiklejohn, precentor,  of  S.S.  Smack  and  Olley's  was  probiverbal  with  his upsiduxit:  mutatus  mutandus.  Dauran's  lord  ('Sniffpox')  and  Moir- gan's  lady  ('Flatterfun')  took  sides  and  crossed  and  bowed  to each  other's  views  and  recrossed  themselves.  The  dirty  dubs  upin their  flies,  went  too  free,  echoed  the  dainly  drabs  downin  their
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scenities,  una  mona.  Sylvia  Silence,  the  girl  detective  (Meminerva, but  by  now  one  hears  turtlings  all  over  Doveland!)  when  supplied with  informations  as  to  the  several  facets  of  the  case  in  her  cozy- dozy  bachelure's  flat,  quite  overlooking  John  a'Dream's  mews, leaned  back  in  her  really  truly  easy  chair  to  query  restfully  through her  vowelthreaded  syllabelles:  Have  you  evew  thought,  wepow- tew,  that  sheew  gweatness  was  his  twadgedy?  Nevewtheless  ac- cowding  to  my  considewed  attitudes  fow  this  act  he  should  pay the  full  penalty,  pending  puwsuance,  as  pew  Subsec.  32,  section II,  of  the  C.  L.  A.  act  1885,  anything  in  this  act  to  the  contwawy notwithstanding.  Jarley  Jilke  began  to  silke  for  he  couldn't  get home  to  Jelsey  but  ended  with:  He's  got  the  sack  that  helped  him moult  instench  of  his  gladsome  rags.  Meagher,  a  naval  rating, seated  on  one  of  the  granite  cromlech  setts  of  our  new  fish- shambles  for  the  usual  aireating  after  the  ever  popular  act,  with whom  were  Questa  and  Puella,  piquante  and  quoite,  (this  had  a cold  in  her  brain  while  that  felt  a  sink  in  her  summock,  wit's wat,  wot's  wet)  was  encouraged,  although  nearvanashed  himself, by  one  of 'his  co-affianced  to  get  your  breath,  Walt,  and  gobbit and  when  ther  chidden  by  her  fastra  sastra  to  saddle  up  your pance,  Naville,  thus  cor  replied  to  her  other's  thankskissing:  I lay  my  two  fingerbuttons,  fiancee  Meagher,  (he  speaks !)  he  was to  blame  about  your  two  velvetthighs  up  Horniman's  Hill  —  as hook  and  eye  blame  him  or  any  other  piscman.'^  —  but  I  also think,  Puellywally,  by  the  siege  of  his  trousers  there  was  some- one else  behind  it  —  you  bet  your  boughtem  blarneys  —  about their  three  drummers  down  Keysars  Lane.  (Trite !).
Be  these  meer  marchant  taylor's  fablings  of  a  race  referend with  oddman  rex.'^  Is  now  all  seenheard  then  forgotten.'^  Can  it was,  one  is  fain  in  this  leaden  age  of  letters  now  to  wit,  that  so diversified  outrages  (they  have  still  to  come!)  were  planned  and partly  carried  out  against  so  staunch  a  covenanter  if  it  be  true than  any  of  those  recorded  ever  took  place  for  many,  we  trow, beyessed  to  and  denayed  of,  are  given  to  us  by  some  who  use the  truth  but  sparingly  and  we,  on  this  side  ought  to  sorrow  for their  pricking  pens  on  that  account.  The  seventh  city,  Urovivla,
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his  citadear  of  refuge,  whither  (would  we  believe  the  laimen  and their  counts),  beyond  the  outraved  gales  of  Atreeatic,  changing clues  with  a  baggermalster,  the  hejirite  had  fled,  silentioussue- meant  under  night's  altosonority,  shipalone,  a  raven  of  the  wave, (be  mercy,  Mara!  A  he  whence  Rahoulas!)  from  the  ostmen's dirtby  on  the  old  vie,  to  forget  in  expiating  manslaughter  and, reberthing  in  remarriment  out  of  dead  seekness  to  devine  previ- dence,  (if  you  are  looking  for  the  bilder  deep  your  ear  on  the movietone!)  to  league  his  lot,  palm  and  patte,  with  a  papishee. For  mine  qvinne  I  thee  giftake  and  bind  my  hosenband  I  thee halter.  The  wastobe  land,  a  lottuse  land,  a  luctuous  land,  Emerald- illuim,  the  peasant  pastured,  in  which  by  the  fourth  commandment with  promise  his  days  apostolic  were  to  be  long  by  the  abundant mercy  of  Him  Which  Thundereth  From  On  High,  murmured, would  rise  against  him  with  all  which  in  them  were,  franchisab- les  and  inhabitands,  astea  as  agora,  helotsphilots,  do  him  hurt, poor  jink,  ghostly  following  bodily,  as  were  he  made  a  curse  for them,  the  corruptible  lay  quick,  all  saints  of  incorruption  of  an holy  nation,  the  common  or  ere-in-garden  castaway,  in  red  re- surrection to  condemn  so  they  might  convince  him,  first  pha- roah,  Humpheres  Cheops  Exarchas,  of  their  proper  sins.  Busi- ness bred  to  speak  with  a  stiff  upper  lip  to  all  men  and  most  occa- sions the  Man  we  wot  of  took  little  short  of  fighting  chances  but for  all  that  he  or  his  or  his  care  were  subjected  to  the  horrors  of the  premier  terror  of  Errorland.  (perorhaps!)
We  seem  to  us  (the  real  Us!)  to  be  reading  our  Amenti  in  the sixth  sealed  chapter  of  the  going  forth  by  black.  It  was  after  the show  at  Wednesbury  that  one  tall  man,  humping  a  suspicious parcel,  when  returning  late  amid  a  dense  particular  on  his  home way  from  the  second  house  of  the  Boore  and  Burgess  Christy Menestrels  by  the  old  spot,  Roy's  Corner,  had  a  barkiss  revolver placed  to  his  faced  with  the  words:  you're  shot,  major:  by  an  un- knowable assailant  (masked)  against  whom  he  had  been  jealous over,  Lotta  Crabtree  or  Pomona  Evlyn.  More  than  that  Whenn the  Waylayer  (not  a  Lucalizod  diocesan  or  even  of  tlie  Glenda- lough  see,  but  hailing  fro'  the  prow  of  Little  Britain),  mention-
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ing  in  a  bytheway  that  he,  the  crawsopper,  had,  in  edition  to Reade's  cutless  centiblade,  a  loaded  Hobson's  which  left  only  twin alternatives  as,  viceversa,  either  he  would  surely  shoot  her,  the aunt,  by  pistol,  (she  could  be  okaysure  of  that!)  or,  failing  of  such, bash  in  Patch's  blank  face  beyond  recognition,  pointedly  asked with  gaeilish  gall  wodkar  blizzard's  business  Thornton  had  with that  Kane's  fender  only  to  be  answered  by  the  aggravated assaulted  that  that  that  was  the  snaps  for  him,  Midweeks,  to  sultry well  go  and  find  out  if  he  was  showery  well  able.  But  how  trans- paringly  nontrue,  gentlewriter!  His  feet  one  is  not  a  tall  man,  not at  all,  man.  No  such  parson.  No  such  fender.  No  such  lumber.  No such  race.  Was  it  supposedly  in  connection  with  a  girls,  Myramy Huey  or  Colores  Archer,  under  Flaggy  Bridge  (for  ann  there  is but  one  liv  and  hir  newbridge  is  her  old)  or  to  explode  his twelvechamber  and  force  a  shrievalty  entrance  that  the  heavybuilt Abelbody  in  a  butcherblue  blouse  from  One  Life  One  Suit  (a men's  wear  store),  with  a  most  decisive  bottle  of  single  in  his possession,  seized  after  dark  by  the  town  guard  at  Haveyou- caught-emerod's  temperance  gateway  was  there  in  a  gate's  way.
Fifthly,  how  parasoliloquisingly  truetoned  on  his  first  time  of hearing  the  wretch's  statement  that,  muttering  Irish,  he  had  had had  o'gloriously  a'lot  too  much  hanguest  or  hoshoe  fine  to drink  in  the  House  of  Blazes,  the  Parrot  in  Hell,  the  Orange  Tree, the  Glibt,  the  Sun,  the  Holy  Lamb  and,  lapse  not  leashed,  in Ramitdown's  ship  hotel  since  the  morning  moment  he  could dixtinguish  a  white  thread  from  a  black  till  the  engine  of  the laws  declosed  unto  Murray  and  was  only  falling  fillthefluthered up  against  the  gatestone  pier  which,  with  the  cow's  bonnet a' top  o'it,  he  falsetook  for  a  cattlepillar  with  purest  peaceablest intentions.  Yet  how  lamely  hobbles  the  hoy  of  his  then  pseudo- jocax  axplanation  how,  according  to  his  own  story,  he  was  a process  server  and  was  merely  trying  to  open  zozimus  a  bottlop stoub  by  mortially  hammering  his  magnum  bonum  (the  curter  the club  the  sorer  the  savage)  against  the  bludgey  gate  for  the  boots about  the  swan,  Maurice  Behan,  who  hastily  into  his  shoes  with nothing  his  hald  barra  tinnteack  and  came  down  with  homp,
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shtemp  and  jumphet  to  the  tiltyard  from  the  wastes  a'sleep  in  his obi  ohny  overclothes  or  choker,  attracted  by  the  norse  of  guns playing  Delandy  is  cartager  on  the  raglar  rock  to  Dulyn,  said war'  prised  safe  in  bed  as  he  dreamed  that  he'd  wealthes  in  mor- mon halls  when  wokenp  by  a  fourth  loud  snore  out  of  his  land of  byelo  while  hickstrey's  maws  was  grazing  in  the  moonlight by  hearing  hammering  on  the  pandywhank  scale  emanating  from the  blind  pig  and  anything  like  it  (oonagh!  oonagh!)  in  the whole  history  of  the  Mullingcan  Inn  he  never.  This  battering babel  allower  the  door  and  sideposts,  he  always  said,  was  not  in the  very  remotest  like  the  belzey  babble  of  a  bottle  of  boose which  would  not  rouse  him  out  o'  slumber  deep  but  reminded him  loads  more  of  the  martiallawsey  marses  of  foreign  musi- kants'  instrumongs  or  the  overthrewer  to  the  third  last  days  of Pompery,  if  anything.  And  that  after  this  most  nooningless knockturn  the  young  reine  came  down  desperate  and  the  old liffopotamus  started  ploring  all  over  the  plains,  as  mud  as  she cud  be,  ruinating  all  the  bouchers'  schurts  and  the  backers' wischandtugs  so  that  be  the  chandeleure  of  the  Rejaneyjailey they  were  all  night  wasching  the  waiters  of,  the  weltering  waiters off.  Whyte.
Just  one  moment.  A  pinch  in  time  of  the  ideal,  musketeers! Alphos,  Burkos  and  Caramis,  leave  Astrelea  for  the  astrollajerries and  for  the  love  of  the  saunces  and  the  honour  of  Keavens  pike puddywhackback  to  Pamintul.  And  roll  away  the  reel  world,  the reel  world,  the  reel  world!  And  call  all  your  smokeblushes, Snowwhite  and  Rosered,  if  you  will  have  the  real  cream !  Now  for a  strawberry  frolic!  Filons,  filoosh!  Cherchons  la  flamme!  Famm- famm!  Fammfamm!
Come  on,  ordinary  man  with  that  large  big  nonobli  head,  and that  blanko  berbecked  fischial  ekksprezzion  Machinsky  Scapolo- polos,  Duzinascu  or  other.  Your  machelar's  mutton  leg's  getting musclebound  from  being  too  pulled.  Noah  Beery  weighed  stone thousand  one  when  Hazel  was  a  hen.  Now  her  fat's  falling  fast. Therefore,  chatbags,  why  not  yours?  There  are  29  sweet  reasons why  blossomtime's  the  best.  Elders  fall  for  green  almonds  when
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they're  raised  on  bruised  stone  root  ginger  though  it  winters  on their  heads  as  if  auctumned  round  their  waistbands.  If  you'd  had pains  in  your  hairs  you  wouldn't  look  so  orgibald.  You'd  have Colley  Macaires  on  your  lump  of  lead.  Now  listen,  Mr  Leer! And  stow  that  sweatyfunnyadams  Simper!  Take  an  old  geeser who  calls  on  his  skirt.  Note  his  sleek  hair,  so  elegant,  tableau vivant.  He  vows  her  to  be  his  own  honeylamb,  swears  they  will be  papa  pals,  by  Sam,  and  share  good  times  way  down  west  in  a guaranteed  happy  lovenest  when  May  moon  she  shines  and  they twit  twinkle  all  the  night,  combing  the  comet's  tail  up  right  and shooting  popguns  at  the  stars.  Creampuffs  all  to  dime!  Every nice,  missymackenzies !  For  dear  old  grumpapar,  he's  gone  on the  razzledar,  through  gazing  and  crazing  and  blazing  at  the  stars. Compree!  She  wants  her  wardrobe  to  hear  from  above  by  return with  cash  so  as  she  can  buy  her  Peter  Robinson  trousseau  and  cut a  dash  with  Arty,  Bert  or  possibly  Charley  Chance  (who  knows.^) so  tolloll  Mr  Hunker  you're  too  dada  for  me  to  dance  (so  off  she goes !)  and  that's  how  half  the  gels  in  town  has  got  their  bottom drars  while  grumpapar  he's  trying  to  hitch  his  braces  on  to  his trars.  But  old  grum  he's  not  so  clean  dippy  between  sweet  you and  yum  (not  on  your  life,  boy!  not  in  those  trousers!  not  by  a large  jugful!)  for  someplace  on  the  sly,  where  Furphy  he  isn't  by, old  grum  has  his  gel  number  two  (bravevow,  our  Grum!)  and  he would  like  to  canoodle  her  too  some  part  of  the  time  for  he  is downright  fond  of  his  number  one  but  O  he's  fair  mashed  on peaches  number  two  so  that  if  he  could  only  canoodle  the  two, chivee  chivoo,  all  three  would  feel  genuinely  happy,  it's  as  simple as  A.  B.  C,  the  two  mixers,  we  mean,  with  their  cherrybum chappy  (for  he  is  simply  shamming  dippy)  if  they  all  were  afloat in  a  dreamlifeboat,  hugging  two  by  two  in  his  zoo-doo-you-doo, a  tofftoff  for  thee,  missymissy  for  me  and  howcameyou-e'enso  for Farber,  in  his  tippy,  upindown  dippy,  tiptoptippy  canoodle,  can you.'^  Finny.
Ack,  ack,  ack.  With  which  clap,  trap  and  soddenment,  three  to a  loaf,  our  mutual  friends  the  fender  and  the  bottle  at  the  gate  seem to  be  implicitly  in  the  same  bateau,  so  to  singen,  bearing  also
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several  of  the  earmarks  of  design,  for  there  is  in  fact  no  use  in putting  a  tooth  in  a  snipery  of  that  sort  and  the  amount  of  all those  sort  of  things  which  has  been  going  on  onceaday  in  and twiceaday  out  every  other  nachtistag  among  all  kinds  of  pro- miscious  individuals  at  all  ages  in  private  homes  and  reeboos publikiss  and  allover  all  and  elsewhere  throughout  secular sequence  the  country  over  and  overabroad  has  been  particularly stupendous.  To  be  continued.  Federals'  Uniteds'  Transports' Unions'  for  Exultations'  of  Triumphants'  Ecstasies.
But  resuming  inquiries.  Will  it  ever  be  next  morning  the  postal unionist's  (officially  called  carrier's,  Letters  Scotch,  Limited) strange  fate  (Fierceendgiddyex  he's  hight,  d.e.,  the  losel  that bucks  around  missivemaids'  gummibacks)  to  hand  in  a  huge chain  envelope,  written  in  seven  divers  stages  of  ink,  from  blanch- essance  to  lavandaiette,  every  pothook  and  pancrook  bespaking the  wisherwife,  superscribed  and  subpencilled  by  yours  A  Laugh- able Party,  with  afterwite,  S.A.G.,  to  Hyde  and  Cheek,  Eden- berry,  Dubblenn,  WC.'^  Will  whatever  will  be  written  in  lappish language  with  inbursts  of  Maggyer  always  seem  semposed,  black looking  white  and  white  guarding  black,  in  that  siamixed  twoa- talk  used  twist  stern  swift  and  jolly  roger.'*  Will  it  bright  upon  us, nightie,  and  we  plunging  to  our  plight?  Well,  it  might  now,  mircle, so  it  light.  Always  and  ever  till  Cox's  wife,  twice  Mrs  Hahn,  pokes her  beak  into  the  matter  with  Owen  K.  after  her,  to  see  whawa smutter  after,  will  this  kiribis  pouch  filled  with  litterish  frag- ments lurk  dormant  in  the  paunch  of  that  halpbrother  of  a  herm, a  pillarbox?
The  coffin,  a  triumph  of  the  illusionist's  art,  at  first  blench naturally  taken  for  a  handharp  (it  is  handwarp  to  tristinguish jubabe  from  jabule  or  either  from  tubote  when  all  three  have  just been  invened)  had  been  removed  from  the  hardware  premises  of Oetzmann  and  Nephew,  a  noted  house  of  the  gonemo^t  west, which  in  the  natural  course  of  all  things  continues  to  supply funeral  requisites  of  every  needed  description.  Why  needed, though?  Indeed  needed  (wouldn't  you  feel  like  rattanfowl  if  you hadn't  the  oscar!)  because  the  flash  brides  or  bride  in  their  lily
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boleros  one  games  with  at  the  Nivynubies'  finery  ball  and  your upright  grooms  that  always  come  right  up  with  you  (and  by  jingo when  they  do!)  what  else  in  this  mortal  world,  now  ours,  when meet  there  night,  mid  their  nackt,  me  there  naket,  made  their nought  the  hour  strikes,  would  bring  them  rightcame  back  in  the flesh,  thumbs  down,  to  their  orses  and  their  hashes.
To  proceed.  We  might  leave  that  nitrience  of  oxagiants  to  take its  free  of  the  air  and  just  analectralyse  that  very  chymerical  com- bination, the  gasbag  where  the  warderworks.  And  try  to  pour somour  heiterscene  up  thealmostfere.  In  the  bottled  heliose  case continuing,  Long  Lally  Tobkids,  the  special,  sporting  a  fine  breast of  medals,  and  a  conscientious  scripturereader  to  boot  in  the  brick and  tin  choorch  round  the  coroner,  swore  like  a  Norewheezian tailliur  on  the  stand  before  the  proper  functionary  that  he  was  up against  a  right  querrshnorrt  of  a  mand  in  the  butcher  of  the  blues who,  he  guntinued,  on  last  epening  after  delivering  some  car- casses mattonchepps  and  meatjutes  on  behalf  of  Messrs  Otto Sands  and  Eastman,  Limericked,  Victuallers,  went  and,  with  his unmitigated  astonissment,  hickicked  at  the  dun  and  dorass  against all  the  runes  and,  when  challenged  about  the  pretended  hick  (it was  kickup  and  down  with  him)  on  his  solemn  by  the  imputant imputed,  said  simply:  I  appop  pie  oath,  Phillyps  Captain.  You did,  as  I  sostressed  before.  You  are  deepknee  in  error,  sir.  Madam Tomkins,  let  me  then  tell  you,  replied  with  a  gentlewomanly salaam  MackPartland,  (the  meatman's  family,  and  the  oldest  in the  world  except  nick,  name.)  And  Phelps  was  flayful  with  his peeler.  But  his  phizz  fell.
Now  to  the  obverse.  From  velveteens  to  dimities  is  barely  a fivefinger  span  and  hence  these  camelback  excesses  are  thought to  have  been  instigated  by  one  or  either  of  the  causing  causes  of all,  those  rushy  hollow  heroines  in  their  skirtsleeves,  be  she  ma- gretta  be  she  the  posque.  Oh!  Oh!  Because  it  is  a  horrible  thing to  have  to  say  to  say  to  day  but  one  dilalah,  Lupita  Lorette,  short- ly after  in  a  fit  of  the  unexpectednesses  drank  carbolic  with  all her  dear  placid  life  before  her  and  paled  off  while  the  other soiled  dove  that's  her  sister-in-love,  Luperca  Latouche,  finding
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one  day  while  dodging  chores  that  she  stripped  teasily  for  binocu- lar man  and  that  her  jambs  were  jimpjoyed  to  see  each  other,  the nautchy  girly  soon  found  her  fruitful  hat  too  small  for  her  and rapidly  taking  time,  look,  she  rapidly  took  to  necking,  partying and  selling  her  spare  favours  in  the  haymow  or  in  lumber  closets or  in  the  greenawn  ad  huck  (there  are  certain  intimacies  in  all ladies*  lavastories  we  just  lease  to  imagination)  or  in  the  sweet churchyard  close  itself  for  a  bit  of  soft  coal  or  an  array  of  thin trunks,  serving  whom  in  fine  that  same  hot  coney  a  la  Zingara which  our  own  little  Graunya  of  the  chilired  cheeks  dished  up to  the  greatsire  of  Oscar,  that  son  of  a  Coole.  Houri  of  the  coast of  emerald,  arrah  of  the  lacessive  poghue,  Aslim-all-Muslim,  the resigned  to  her  surrender,  did  not  she,  come  leinster's  even,  true dotter  of  a  dearmud,  (her  pitch  was  Forty  Steps  and  his  perch  old CromwelFs  Quarters)  with  so  valkirry  a  licence  as  sent  many  a poor  pucker  packing  to  perdition,  again  and  again,  ay,  and  again sfidare  him,  tease  fido,  eh  tease  fido,  eh  eh  tease  fido,  toos  top- ples topple,  stop,  dug  of  a  dog  of  a  dgiaour,  ye!  Angealousmei ! And  did  not  he,  like  Arcoforty,  farfar  off  Bissavolo,  missbrand her  behaveyous  with  iridescent  huecry  of  down  right  mean  false sop  lap  sick  dope?  Tawfulsdreck !  A  reine  of  the  shee,  a  shebeen quean,  a  queen  of  pranks.  A  kingly  man,  of  royal  mien,  regally robed,  exalted  be  his  glory!  So  gave  so  take:  Now  not,  not  now! He  would  just  a  min.  Suffering  trumpet!  He  thought  he  want. Whath?  Hear,  O  hear,  living  of  the  land!  Hungreb,  dead  era, hark!  He  hea,  eyes  ravenous  on  her  lippling  lills.  He  hear  her  voi of  day  gon  by.  He  hears!  Zay,  zay,  zay!  But,  by  the  beer  of  his profit,  he  cannot  answer.  Upterputty  till  rise  and  shine !  Nor  needs none  shaft  ne  stele  from  Phenicia  or  Little  Asia  to  obelise  on the  spout,  neither  pobalclock  neither  folksstone,  nor  sunkenness in  Tomar's  Wood  to  bewray  how  erpressgangs  score  off  the  rued. The  mouth  that  tells  not  will  ever  attract  the  unthinking  tongue and  so  long  as  the  obseen  draws  theirs  which  hear  not  so  long till  allearth's  dumbnation  shall  the  blind  lead  the  deaf.  Tatcho, tawney  yeeklings !  The  column  of  lumps  lends  the  pattrin  of  the leaves  behind  us.  If  violence  to  life,  limb  and  chattels,  often  as
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not,  has  been  the  expression,  direct  or  through  an  agent  male,  of womanhid  offended,  (ah!  ah!),  has  not  levy  of  black  mail  from the  times  the  fairies  were  in  it,  and  fain  for  wilde  erthe  blothoms followed  an  impressive  private  reputation  for  whispered  sins?
Now  by  memory  inspired,  turn  wheel  again  to  the  whole  of the  wall.  Where  Gyant  Blyant  fronts  Peannlueamoore  There  was once  upon  a  wall  and  a  hooghoog  wall  a  was  and  such  a  wall- hole  did  exist.  Ere  ore  or  ire  in  Aaarlund.  Or  you  Dair's  Hair  or you  Diggin  Mosses  or  your  horde  of  orts  and  oriorts  to  garble a  garthen  of  Odin  and  the  lost  paladays  when  all  the  eddams  ended with  aves.  Armen?  The  doun  is  theirs  and  still  to  see  for  menags if  he  strikes  a  lousaforitch  and  we'll  come  to  those  baregazed shoeshines  if  you  just  shoodov  a  second.  And  let  oggs  be  good old  gaggles  and  Isther  Estarr  play  Yesther  Asterr.  In  the  drema of  Sorestost  Areas,  Diseased.  A  stonehinged  gate  then  was  for another  thing  while  the  suroptimist  had  bought  and  enlarged that  shack  under  fair  rental  of  one  yearlyng  sheep,  (prime)  value of  sixpence,  and  one  small  yearlyng  goat  (cadet)  value  of  eight- pence,  to  grow  old  and  happy  (hogg  it  and  kidd  him)  for  the  re- minants  of  his  years;  and  when  everything  was  got  up  for  the purpose  he  put  an  applegate  on  the  place  by  no  means  as  some pretext  a  bedstead  in  loo  thereof  to  keep  out  donkeys  (the  pig- dirt  hanging  from  the  jags  to  this  hour  makes  that  clear)  and  just thenabouts  the  iron  gape,  by  old  custom  left  open  to  prevent the  cats  from  getting  at  the  gout,  was  triplepatlockt  on  him  on purpose  by  his  faithful  poorters  to  keep  him  inside  probably  and possibly  enaunter  he  felt  like  sticking  out  his  chest  too  far  and tempting  gracious  providence  by  a  stroll  on  the  peoplade's  egg- day,  unused  as  he  was  yet  to  being  freely  clodded.
O,  by  the  by,  lets  wee  brag  of  praties,  it  ought  to  be  always remembered  in  connection  with  what  has  gone  before  that  there was  a  northroomer,  Herr  Betreffender,  out  for  his  zimmer  hole- digs,  digging  in  number  32  at  the  Rum  and  Puncheon  (Branch  of Dirty  Dick's  free  house)  in  Laxlip  (where  the  Sockeye  Sammons were  stopping  at  the  time  orange  fasting)  prior  to  that,  a  Kom- merzial  (Gorbotipacco,  he  was  wreaking  like  Zentral  Oylrubber)
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from  Osterich,  the  U.S.E.  paying  (Gaul  save  the  mark!)  ii/-  in the  week  (Gosh,  these  wholly  romads!)  of  conscience  money  in the  first  deal  of  Yuly  wheil  he  was,  swishing  beesnest  with  bles- sure,  and  swobbing  broguen  eeriesh  myth  brockendootsch,  mak- ing his  reporterage  on  Der  Fall  Adams  for  the  Frankofurto  Siding, a  Fastland  payrodicule,  and  er,  consstated  that  one  had  on  him the  Lynn  O'Brien,  a  meltoned  lammswolle,  disturbed,  and  wider he  might  the  same  zurichschicken  other  he  would,  with  tosend and  obertosend  tonnowatters,  one  monkey's  damages  become. Now  you  must  know,  franksman,  to  make  a  heart  of  glass,  that the  game  of  gaze  and  bandstand  butchery  was  merely  a  Patsy O' Strap  tissue  of  threats  and  obuses  such  as  roebucks  raugh  at pinnacle's  peak  and  after  this  sort.  Humphrey's  unsolicited  visitor, Davy  or  Titus,  on  a  burgley's  clan  march  from  the  middle  west, a  hikely  excellent  crude  man  about  road  who  knew  his  Bullfoost Mountains  like  a  starling  bierd,  after  doing  a  long  dance  untidled to  Cloudy  Green,  deposend  his  bockstump  on  the  waityoumay- wantme,  after  having  blew  some  quaker's  (for  you!  Oates!)  in through  the  houseking's  keyhole  to  attract  attention,  bleated through  the  gale  outside  which  the  tairor  of  his  clothes  was  hog- callering,  first,  be  the  hirsuiter,  that  he  would  break  his  bulshey- wigger's  head  for  him,  next,  be  the  heeltapper,  that  he  would break  the  gage  over  his  lankyduckling  head  the  same  way  he would  crack  a  nut  with  a  monkeywrench  and,  last  of  all,  be  the stirabouter,  that  he  would  give  him  his  (or  theumperom's  or  any- bloody  else's)  thickerthanwater  to  drink  and  his  bleday  steppe- brodhar's  into  the  bucket.  He  demanded  more  wood  alcohol  to pitch  in  with,  alleging  that  his  granfather's  was  all  taxis  and  that it  was  only  after  ten  o'connell,  and  this  his  isbar  was  a  public oven  for  the  sake  of  irsk  irskusky,  and  then,  not  easily  dis- couraged, opened  the  wrathfloods  of  his  atillarery  and  went  on  at a  wicked  rate,  weathering  against  him  in  mooxed  metaphores from  eleven  thirty  to  two  in  the  afternoon  without  even  a  lunch- eonette interval  for  House,  son  of  Clod,  to  come  out,  you  jew- beggar,  to  be  Executed  Amen.  Earwicker,  that  patternmind,  that paradigmatic  ear,  receptoretentive  as  his  of  Dionysius,  longsuffer-
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ing  although  whitening  under  restraint  in  the  sititout  corner  of his  conservatory,  behind  faminebuilt  walls,  his  thermos  flask  and ripidian  flabel  by  his  side  and  a  walrus  whiskerbristle  for  a  tusk- pick,  compiled,  while  he  mourned  the  flight  of  his  wild  guineese, a  long  list  (now  feared  in  part  lost)  to  be  kept  on  file  of  all  abusive names  he  was  called  (we  have  been  compelled  for  the  rejoicement of  foinne  loidies  ind  the  humours  of  Milltown  etcetera  by  Joseph- ine Brewster  in  the  collision  known  as  Contrastations  with  Inker- mann  and  so  on  and  sononward,  lacies  in  loo  water,  flee,  celestials, one  clean  turv):  Firstnighter ^  Informer^  Old  Fruity  Yellow  Whigger, Wheatears,  Goldy  Gelt,  Bogside  Beauty ,  Yass  Were  Had  His Badannas^  York's  Porker,  Funnyface^  At  Baggottys  Bend  He Bumped,  Grease  with  the  Butter,  Opendoor  Ospices,  Cainandabler, Ireland's  Eighth  Wonderful  Wonder,  Beat  My  Price,  Godsoilman, Moonface  the  Murderer,  Hoary  Hairy  Hoax,  Midnight  Sunburst, Remove  that  Bible,  Hebdromadary  Publocation,  Tummer  the  Lame the  Tyrannous^  Blau  Clay,  Tight  before  Teatime^  Read  Your Pantojoke,  Acoustic  Disturbance^  Thinks  He's  Gobblasst  the  Good Dook  of  Ourguile,  W.D's  Grace  ^  Gibbering  Bayamouth  of  Dublin^ His  Farther  was  a  Mund^ucker  and  She  had  him  in  a  Growler^ Burnham  and  Bailey^  Artist^  Unworthy  of  the  Homely  Protestant Religion^  Terry  Cotter^  You  re  Welcome  to  Waterfood^  signed  the Ribbonmen^  Lobsterpot  Lardling^  All  for  Arthur  of  this  Town, Hooshed  the  Cat  from  the  Bacon^  Leathertogs  Donald,  The  Ace and  Deuce  of  Paupering^  O'Reilly  s  Delights  to  Kiss  the  Man behind  the  Borrel^  Magogagog^  Swad  Puddlefoot^  Gouty  Ghiheline^ Loose  Luther^  Hatches  Cocks'  Eggs,  Muddle  the  Plan,  Luck  before Wedlock,  I  Divorce  Thee  Husband,  Tanner  and  a  Make,  Go  to Hellena  or  Come  to  Connies^  Piobald  Puffpuff  His  Bride^  Purged out  of  Burke' Sj  He's  None  of  Me  Causin^  Barebarean^  Peculiar Person,  Grunt  Owl's  Facktotem^  Twelve  Months  Aristocrat, Lycanthrope,  Flunkey  Beadle  Vamps  the  Tune  Letting  on  He's Loney,  Thunder  and  Turf  Married  into  Clandorf  Left  Boot  Sent on  Approval^  Cumberer  of  Lord's  Holy  Ground^  Stodge  Arschmann^ Awnt  Yukcy  Tommy  Furlong's  Pet  Plagues^  Archdukon  Cabbanger^ Last  Past  the  Post^  Kennealey  Won't  Tell  Thee  off  Nancy's  Gown,
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Scuttle  to  Cover y  Salary  Grab,  Andy  Mac  Noon  in  Annie  s  Room, Awl  Out,  Twitchbratschballs^  Bombard  Street  Bester^  Sublime Porter,  A  Ban  for  Le  King  of  the  Burgaans  and  a  Bom  for  Ye  Sur of  all  the  RuttledgeSj  O'Phelim's  Cutprice,  And  at  Number  Wan Wan  Wan,  What  He  Done  to  Castlecostello,  Sleeps  with  Feathers end  Ropes,  It  is  Known  who  Sold  Horace  the  Rattler,  Enclosed find  the  Sons  of  Fingal,  Swayed  in  his  Falling,  Wants  a  Wife  and Forty  of  Them^  Let  Him  Do  the  Fair,  Apeegeequanee  Chimmuck,
Plowp  Goes  his  Whastle,  Ruin  of  the  Small  Trader,  He 
Milking  honey beaverbrooker,  Vee  was  a  Vindner,  Sower  Rapes, Armenian  Atrocity,  Sickfish  Belly  up,  Edomite,  —  'Man  Devoyd  of the  Commoner  Characteristics  of  an  Irish  Nature,  Bad  Humborg, Hraabhraab,  Coocoohandler,  Dirt,  Miching  Daddy,  Born  Burst  Feet Foremost,  Woolworth's  Worst,  Easyathic  Phallus  aphis  t,  Guiltey- pigs  Bastard,  Fast  in  the  Barrel,  Boose  in  the  Bed,  Mister  Fatmate, In  Custody  of  the  Polis,  BoawwlVs  Alocutionist,  Deposed,  but  anar- chistically  respectsful  of  the  liberties  of  the  noninvasive  individual, did  not  respond  a  solitary  wedgeword  beyond  such  sedentarity, though  it  was  as  easy  as  kissanywhere  for  the  passive  resistant  in the  booth  he  was  in  to  reach  for  the  hello  gripes  and  ring  up  Kim- mage  Outer  17.67,  because,  as  the  fundamentalist  explained,  when at  last  shocked  into  speech,  touchin  his  woundid  feelins  in  the fuchsiar  the  dominican  mission  for  the  sowsealist  potty  was  on  at the  time  and  he  thought  the  rowmish  devowtion  known  as  the howly  rowsary  might  reeform  ihm,  Gonn.  That  more  than considerably  unpleasant  bullocky  before  he  rang  off  drunkishly pegged  a  few  glatt  stones,  all  of  a  size,  by  way  of  final  mocks for  his  grapes,  at  the  wicket  in  support  of  his  words  that  he  was not  guilphy  but,  after  he  had  so  slaunga  vollayed,  reconnoi- tring through  his  semisubconscious  the  seriousness  of  what  he might  have  done  had  he  really  polished  off  his  terrible  intentions finally  caused  him  to  change  the  bawling  and  leave  downg  the whole  grumus  of  brookpebbles  pangpung  and,  having  sobered up  a  bit,  paces  his  groundould  diablen  lionndub,  the  flay  the flegm,  the  floedy  fleshener,  (purse,  purse,  pursyfurse,  I'll  splish the  splume  of  them  all!)  this  backblocks  boor  bruskly  put  out
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1^ '        d  (i.  a
his  langwedge  and  quite  quit  the  paleologic  scene,  telling  how by  his  selfdenying  ordnance  he  had  left  Hyland  on  the  dissenting table,  after  exhorting  Earwicker  or,  in  slightly  modified  phrase- ology, Messrs  or  Missrs  Earwicker,  Seir,  his  feminisible  nameof multitude,  to  cocoa  come  outside  to  Mockerloo  out  of  that  for the  honour  of  Crumlin,  with  his  broody  old  flishguds,  Gog's curse  to  thim,  so  as  he  could  brianslog  and  burst  him  all  dizzy, you  go  bail,  like  Potts  Fracture  did  with  Keddle  Flatnose  and nobodyatall  with  Wholyphamous  and  build  rocks  over  him,  or if  he  didn't,  for  two  and  thirty  straws,  be  Cacao  Campbell,  he didn't  know  what  he  wouldn't  do  for  him  nor  nobody  else  no- more  nor  him  after  which,  batell  martell,  a  brisha  a  milla  a  stroka a  boola,  so  the  rage  of  Malbruk,  playing  on  the  least  change  of his  manjester's  voice,  the  first  heroic  couplet  from  the  fuguall tropical.  Opus  Elf,  Thortytoe:  My  schemes  into  abeyance  for  This time  has  had  to  fall:  they  bit  goodbyte  to  their  thumb  and,  his bandol  eer  his  solgier,  dripdropdrap  on  pool  or  poldier,  wishing the  loff  a  falladelfian  in  the  morning,  proceeded  with  a  Hubble- forth  slouch  in  his  slips  backwords  {Et  CurHelil)  in  the  directions of  the  duff  and  demb  institutions  about  ten  or  eleven  hundred years  lurch  away  in  the  moonshiny  gorge  of  Patself  on  the  Bach. Adyoe!
And  thus,  with  this  rochelly  exetur  of  Bully  Acre,  came  to close  that  last  stage  in  the  siegings  round  our  archicitadel  which we  would  like  to  recall,  if  old  Nestor  Alexis  would  wink  the worth  for  us,  as  Bar-le-Duc  and  Dog-an-Doras  and  Bangen-op- Zoom.
Yed  he  med  leave  to  many  a  door  beside  of  Oxmanswold  for so  witness  his  chambered  cairns  a  cloudletlitter  silent  that  are  at browse  up  hill  and  down  coombe  and  on  eolithostroton,  at Howth  or  at  Coolock  or  even  at  Enniskerry,  a  theory  none  too rectiline  of  the  evaluation  of  human  society  and  a  testament  of the  rocks  from  all  the  dead  unto  some  the  living.  Olivers  lambs we  do  call  them,  skatterlings  of  a  stone,  and  they  shall  be  ga- thered unto  him,  their  herd  and  paladin,  as  nubilettes  to  cumule, in  that  day  hwen,  same  the  lightning  lancer  of  Azava  Arthur-
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honoured  (some  Finn,  some  Finn  avantl),  he  skall  wake  from earthsleep,  haught  crested  elmer,  in  his  valle  of  briers  of  Green- man's  Rise  O,  (lost  leaders  live!  the  heroes  return!)  and  o'er  dun and  dale  the  Wulverulverlord  (protect  us!)  his  mighty  horn  skall roll,  orland,  roll.
For  in  those  deyes  his  Deyus  shall  ask  of  Allprohome  and call  to  himm:  Allprohome!  And  he  make  answer:  Add  some. Nor  wink  nor  wunk.  Animadiabolum^  mem  credidisd  mortuum? Silence  was  in  thy  faustive  halls,  O  Truiga,  when  thy  green woods  went  dry  but  there  will  be  sounds  of  manymirth  on  the night's  ear  ringing  when  our  pantriarch  of  Comestowntonobble gets  the  pullover  on  his  boots.
Liverpoor.-^  Sot  a  bit  of  it!  His  braynes  cook  parritch,  his  pelt nassy,  his  heart's  adrone,  his  bluidstreams  acrawl,  his  puff  but  a piff,  his  extremeties  extremely  so:  Fengless,  Pawmbroke,  Chil- blaimend  and  Baldowl.  Humph  is  in  his  doge.  Words  weigh  no no  more  to  him  than  raindrips  to  Rethfemhim.  Which  we  all like.  Rain.  When  we  sleep.  Drops.  But  wait  until  our  sleeping. Drain.  Sdops.
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As  the  lion  in  our  teargarten  remembers  the  nenuphars  of  his Nile  (shall  Ariuz  forget  Arioun  or  Boghas  the  baregams  of  the Marmarazalles  from  Marmeniere?)  it  may  be,  tots  wearsense  full a  naggin  in  twentyg  have  sigilposted  what  in  our  brievingbust, the  besieged  bedreamt  him  stil  and  solely  of  those  lililiths  un- deveiled  which  had  undone  him,  gone  for  age,  and  knew  not the  watchful  treachers  at  his  wake,  and  theirs  to  stay.  Fooi,  fooi, chamermissies !  Zeepyzoepy,  larcenlads!  Zijnzijn  Zijnzijn!  It  may be,  we  moest  ons  hasten  selves  te  declareer  it,  that  he  reglimmed? presaw?  the  fields  of  heat  and  yields  of  wheat  where  corngold Ysit?  shamed  and  shone.  It  may  be,  we  habben  to  upseek  a  bitty door  our  good  township's  courants  want  we  knew't,  that  with his  deepseeing  insight  (had  not  wishing  oftebeen  but  good  time wasted),  within  his  patriarchal  shamanah,  broadsteyne  'bove  citie (Twillby!  Twillby!)  he  conscious  of  enemies,  a  kingbilly  white- horsed  in  a  Finglas  mill,  prayed,  as  he  sat  pn  anxious  seat,  (kunt ye  neat  gift  mey  toe  bout  a  peer  saft  eyballds !)  during  that  three and  a  hellof  hours'  agony  of  silence,  ex  profundis  malorum^  and bred  with  unfeigned  charity  that  his  wordwounder  (an  engles  to the  teeth  who,  nomened  Nash  of  Girahash,  would  go  anyold  where in  the  weeping  world  on  his  mottled  belly  (the  rab,  the  kreepons- kneed!)  for  milk,  music  or  married  missusses)  might,  mercy  to providential  benevolence's  who  hates  prudencies'  astuteness,  un- fold into  the  first  of  a  distinguished  dynasty  of  his  posteriors,
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blackfaced  connemaras  not  of  the  fold  but  elder  children  of  his household,  his  most  besetting  of  ideas  {pace  his  twolve  predama- nant  passions)  being  the  formation,  as  in  more  favoured  climes, where  the  Meadow  of  Honey  is  guestfriendly  and  the  Mountain of  Joy  receives,  of  a  truly  criminal  stratum,  Ham's  cribcracking yeggs,  thereby  at  last  eliminating  from  all  classes  and  masses  with directly  derivative  decasualisation:  sigarius  (sic!)  vindicat  urbes terrorum  (sicker!):  and  so,  to  mark  a  bank  taal  she  arter,  the obedience  of  the  citizens  elp  the  ealth  of  the  ole.
Now  gode.  Let  us  leave  theories  there  and  return  to  here's  here. Now  hear.  'Tis  gode  again.  The  teak  coffin,  Pughglasspanelfitted, feets  to  the  east,  was  to  turn  in  later,  and  pitly  patly  near  the porpus,  materially  effecting  the  cause.  And  this,  liever,  is  the thinghowe.  Any  number  of  conservative  public  bodies,  through a  number  of  select  and  other  committees  having  power  to  add  to their  number,  before  voting  themselves  and  himself,  town,  port and  garrison,  by  a  fit  and  proper  resolution,  following  a  koorts order  of  the  groundwet,  once  for  all  out  of  plotty  existence,  as a  forescut,  so  you  maateskippey  might  to  you  cuttinrunner  on  a neuw  pack  of  klerds,  made  him,  while  his  body  still  persisted, their  present  of  a  protem  grave  in  Moyelta  of  the  best  Lough Neagh  pattern,  then  as  much  in  demand  among  misonesans  as the  Isle  of  Man  today  among  limniphobes.  Wacht  even !  It  was in  a  fairly  fishy  kettlekerry,  after  the  Fianna's  foreman  had  taken his  handful,  enriched  with  ancient  woods  and  dear  dutchy  deep- linns  mid  which  were  an  old  knoll  and  a  troutbeck,  vainyvain  of her  osiery  and  a  chatty  sally  with  any  Wilt  or  Walt  who  would ongle  her  as  Izaak  did  to  the  tickle  of  his  rod  and  watch  her waters  of  her  sillying  waters  of  and  there  now  brown  peater arripple  (may  their  quilt  gild  lightly  over  his  somnolulutent form!)  Whoforyou  lies  his  last,  by  the  wrath  of  Bog,  like  the erst  curst  Hun  in  the  bed  of  his  treubleu  Donawhu.
Best.  This  wastohavebeen  underground  heaven,  or  mole's paradise  which  was  probably  also  an  inversion  of  a  phallopharos, intended  to  foster  wheat  crops  and  to  ginger  up  tourist  trade (its  architecht,  Mgr  Peurelachasse,  having  been  obcaecated  lest
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he  should  petrifake  suchanevver  while  the  contractors  Messrs T.  A.  Birkett  and  L.  O.  Tuohalls  were  made  invulnerably  vener- able) first  in  the  west,  our  misterbilder,  Castlevillainous,  openly damned  and  blasted  by  means  of  a  hydromine,  system,  Sowan  and Belting,  exploded  from  a  reinvented  T.N.T.  bombingpost  up ahoy  of  eleven  and  thirty  wingrests  (circiter)  to  sternbooard  out of  his  aerial  thorpeto,  Auton  Dynamon,  contacted  with  the  ex- pectant minefield  by  tins  of  improved  ammonia  lashed  to  her shieldplated  gunwale,  and  fused  into  tripupcables,  slipping through  tholse  and  playing  down  from  the  conning  tower  into the  ground  battery  fuseboxes,  all  differing  as  clocks  from  keys since  nobody  appeared  to  have  the  same  time  of  beard,  some saying  by  their  Oorlog  it  was  Sygstryggs  to  nine,  more  holding with  the  Ryan  vogt  it  was  Dane  to  pfife.  He  afterwards  whaan- ever  his  blaetther  began  to  fail  off  him  and  his  rough  bark  was wholly  husky  and,  stoop  by  stoop,  he  neared  it  (wouldmanspare !) carefully  lined  the  ferroconcrete  result  with  rotproof  bricks  and mortar,  fassed  to  fossed,  and  retired  beneath  the  heptarchy  of his  towerettes,  the  beauchamp,  byward,  bull  and  lion,  the  white, the  wardrobe  and  bloodied,  so  encouraging  (insteppen,  alls  als hats  beliefd!)  additional  useful  councils  public  with  hoofd  off- dealings  which  were  welholden  of  ladykants  te  huur  out  such  as  the Breeders'  Union,  the  Guild  of  Merchants  of  the  Staple  et,  a.u.c.  to present  unto  him  with  funebral  pomp,  over  and  above  that,  a  stone slab  with  the  usual  Mac  Pelah  address  of  velediction,  a  very  fair- worded  instance  of  falsemeaning  adamelegy:  We  have  done  ours gohellt  with  you,  Heer  Herewhippit,  overgiven  it,  skidoo!
But  t'house  and  allaboardshoops  I  Show  coffins,  winding  sheets, goodbuy  bierchepes,  cinerary  urns,  liealoud  blasses,  snuffchests, poteentubbs,  lacrimal  vases,  hoodendoses,  reekwaterbeckers, breakmiddles,  zootzaks  for  eatlust,  including  upyourhealthing rookworst  and  meathewersoftened  forkenpootsies  and  for  that matter,  javel  also,  any  kind  of  inhumationary  brie  au  brae  for the  adornment  of  his  glasstone  honophreum,  would,  met  these trein  of  konditiens,  naturally  follow,  halas,  in  the  ordinary  course, enabling  that  roundtheworlder  wandelingswight,  did  suches  pass
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him,  to  live  all  safeathomely  the  presenile  days  of  his  life  of opulence,  ancient  ere  decrepitude,  late  lents  last  lenience,  till stuffering  stage,  whaling  away  the  whole  of  the  while  (hypnos chilia  eonionf)  lethelulled  between  explosion  and  reexplosion (Donnaurwatteur !  Hunderthunder !)  from  grosskopp  to  megapod, embalmed,  of  grand  age,  rich  in  death  anticipated.
But  abide  Zeit's  sumonserving,  rise  afterfall.  Blueblitzbolted from  there,  knowing  the  hingeworms  of  the  hallmirks  of  habita- tionlesness,  buried  burrowing  in  Gehinnon,  to  proliferate  through all  his  Unterwealth,  seam  by  seam,  sheol  om  sheol,  and  revisit our  Uppercrust  Sideria  of  Utilitarios,  the  divine  one,  the  hoar- der hidden  propaguting  his  plutorpopular  progeniem  of  pots  and pans  and  pokers  and  puns  from  biddenland  to  boughtenland,  the spearway  fore  the  spoorway.
The  other  spring  offensive  on  the  heights  of  Abraham  may have  come  about  all  quite  by  accidence,  Foughtarundser  ffor Breedabrooda  had  at  length  presuaded  him  to  have  himself  to  be as  septuply  buried  as  the  murdered  Cian  in  Finntown),  had  not been  three  monads  in  his  watery  grave  (what  vigilantes  and  ridings then  and  spuitwyne  pledges  with  aardappel  frittling!)  when portrifaction,  dreyfussed  as  ever,  began  to  ramp,  ramp,  ramp,  the boys  are  parching.  A  hoodenwinkle  gave  the  signal  and  a  bless- ing paper  freed  the  flood.  Why  did  the  patrizien  make  him  scares with  his  gruntens?  Because  the  druiven  were  muskating  at  the door.  From  both  Celtiberian  camps  (granting  at  the  onset  for  the sake  of  argument  that  men  on  the  two  sides  in  New  South  Ire- land and  Vetera  Uladh,  bluemin  and  pillfaces,  during  the  ferment With  the  Pope  or  On  the  Pope,  had,  moors  or  letts,  grant  ideas, grunted)  all  conditions,  poor  cons  and  dives  mor,  each,  of  course, on  the  purely  doffensive  since  the  eternals  were  owlwise  on  their side  every  time,  were  drawn  toowards  their  Bellona's  Black Bottom,  once  Woolwhite's  Waltz  (Ohiboh,  how  becrimed, becursekissed  and  bedumbtoit!)  some  for  want  of  proper  feeding in  youth,  others  already  caught  in  the  honourable  act  of  slicing careers  for  family  and  carvers  in  conjunction;  and,  if  emaciated nough,  the  person  garrotted  may  have  suggested  to  whomever  he
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I
took  the  ham  of,  the  plain  being  involved  in  darkness,  low  cirque waggery,  nay,  even  the  first  old  wugger  of  himself  in  the  flesh, whiggissimus  incarnadined,  when  falsesighted  by  the  ifsuchhewas bully  on  the  hill  for  there  had  circulated  freely  fairly  among  his opposition  the  feeling  that  in  so  hibernating  Massa  Ewacka,  who, previous  to  that  demidetached  life,  had  been  known  of  barmi- cidal  days,  cook  said,  between  soups  and  savours,  to  get  outside his  own  length  of  rainbow  trout  and  taerts  atta  tarn  as  no  man of  woman  born,  nay  could,  like  the  great  crested  brebe,  devour his  threescoreten  of  roach  per  lifeday,  ay,  and  as  many  minnow  a minute  (the  big  mix,  may  Gibbet  choke  him!)  was,  like  the  salmon of  his  ladderleap  all  this  time  of  totality  secretly  and  by  suckage feeding  on  his  own  misplaced  fat.
Ladies  did  not  disdain  those  pagan  ironed  times  of  the  first city  (called  after  the  ugliest  Danadune)  when  a  frond  was  a  friend inneed  to  carry,  as  earwigs  do  their  dead,  their  soil  to  the  earth- ball  where  indeeth  we  shall  calm  decline,  our  legacy  unknown. Venuses  were  gigglibly  temptatrix,  vulcans  guffawably  eruptious and  the  whole  wives'  world  frockful  of  fickles.  Fact,  any  human inyon  you  liked  any  erenoon  or  efter  would  take  her  bare  godkin out,  or  an  even  pair  of  hem,  (lugod !  lugodoo !)  and  prettily  pray with  him  (or  with  em  even)  everyhe  to  her  taste,  long  for  luck, tapette  and  tape  petter  and  take  pettest  of  all.  (Tip !)  Wells  she'd woo  and  wills  she's  win  but  how  the  deer  knowed  where  she'd marry!  Arbour,  bucketroom,  caravan,  ditch.'^  Coach,  carriage, wheelbarrow,  dungcart.'^
Kate  Strong,  a  widow  (Tiptip !)  —  she  pulls  a  lane  picture  for us,  in  a  dreariodreama  setting,  glowing  and  very  vidual,  of  old dumplan  as  she  nosed  it,  a  homelike  cottage  of  elvanstone  with droppings  of  biddies,  stinkend  pusshies,  moggies'  duggies,  rotten witchawubbles,  festering  rubbages  and  beggars'  bullets,  if  not worse,  sending  salmofarious  germs  in  gleefully  through  the smithereen  panes  —  Widow  Strong,  then,  as  her  weaker  had turned  him  to  the  wall  (Tiptiptip!),  did  most  all  the  scavenging from  good  King  Hamlaugh's  gulden  dayne  though  her  lean besom  cleaned  but  sparingly  and  her  bare  statement  reads  that,
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there  being  no  macadamised  sidetracks  on  those  old  nekropolitan nights  in,  barring  a  footbatter,  Bryant's  Causeway,  bordered with  speedwell,  white  clover  and  sorrel  a  wood  knows,  which left  off,  being  beaten,  where  the  plaintiff  was  struck,  she left  down,  as  scavengers,  who  will  be  scavengers  must,  her filthdump  near  the  Serpentine  in  Phornix  Park  (at  her  time  called Finewell's  Keepsacre  but  later  tautaubapptossed  Pat's  Purge), that  dangerfield  circling  butcherswood  where  fireworker  oh flaherty  engaged  a  nutter  of  castlemallards  and  ah  for  archer stunned's  turk,  all  over  which  fossil  footprints,  bootmarks, fingersigns,  elbowdints,  breechbowls,  a.  s.  o.  were  all  succes- sively traced  of  a  most  envolving  description.  What  subtler timeplace  of  the  weald  than  such  wolfsbelly  castrament  to  will hide  a  leabhar  from  Thursmen's  brandihands  or  a  loveletter, lostfully  hers,  that  would  be  lust  on  Ma,  than  then  when  ructions ended,  than  here  where  race  began:  and  by  four  hands  of  fore- thought the  first  babe  of  reconcilement  is  laid  in  its  last  cradle of  hume  sweet  hume.  Give  over  it!  And  no  more  of  it!  So  pass the  pick  for  child  sake!  O  men!
For  hear  Allhighest  sprack  for  krischnians  as  for  propagana fidies  and  his  nuptial  eagles  sharped  their  beaks  of  prey:  and every  morphyl  man  of  us,  pome  by  pome,  falls  back  into  this terrine:  as  it  was  let  it  be,  says  he!  And  it  is  as  though  where Agni  araflammed  and  Mithra  monished  and  Shiva  slew  as  maya- mutras  the  obluvial  waters  of  our  noarchic  memory  withdrew, windingly  goharksome,  to  some  hastyswasty  timberman  torch- priest,  flamenfan,  the  ward  of  the  wind  that  lightened  the  fire  that lay  in  the  wood  that  Jove  bolt,  at  his  rude  word.  Posidonius O'Fluctuary!  Lave  that  bloody  stone  as  it  is!  What  are  you doing  your  dirty  minx  and  his  big  treeblock  way  up  your  path.'^ Slip  around,  you,  by  the  rare  of  the  ministers'!  And,  you,  take that  barrel  back  where  you  got  it,  Mac  Shane's,  and  go  the  way your  old  one  went,  Hatchettsbury  Road!  And  gish!  how  they gushed  away,  the  pennyfares,  a  whol6  school  for  scamper,  with their  sashes  flying  sish  behind  them,  all  the  little  pirlypettes! Issy-la-Chapelle!  Any  lucans,  please.'^
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j^rsJ^u^S  Cx^  ^*^^  ^"^^^    ^  SVi^J?-^^
Yes,  the  viability  of  vicinals  if  invisible  is  invincible.  And  we are  not  trespassing  on  his  corns  either.  Look  at  all  the  plotsch! Fluminian!  If  this  was  Hannibal's  walk  it  was  Hercules'  work. And  a  hungried  thousand  of  the  unemancipated  slaved  the  way. The  mausoleum  lies  behind  us  (O  Adgigasta,  muldpopulipaterl) and  there  are  milestones  in  their  cheadmilias  faultering  along the  tramestrack  by  Brahm  and  Anton  Hermes!  Per  omnibus secular  seekalarum.  Amain.  But  the  past  has  made jus_j^^^  present j)f  a  rhedarhoad.  So  more  boher  O'Connell!  Though  rainy- hidden,  you're  rhinohide.  And  if  he's  not  a  Romeo  you  may scallop  your  hat.  Wereupunder  in  the  fane  of  Saint  Fiacre!  Halte!
It  was  hard  by  the  howe's  there,  plainly  on  this  disoluded  and  a buchan  cold  spot,  rupestric  then,  resurfaced  that  now  is,  that Luttrell  sold  if  Lautrill  bought,  in  the  saddle  of  the  Brennan's (now  Malpasplace?)  pass,  versts  and  versts  from  true  civilisation, not  where  his  dreams  top  their  traums  halt  (Beneathere !  Bena- there!)  but  where  livland  yontide  meared  with  the  wilde,  saltlea with  flood,  that  the  attackler,  a  cropatkin,  though  under  medium and  between  colours  with  truly  native  pluck,  engaged  the  Adver- sary who  had  more  in  his  eye  than  was  less  to  his  leg  but  whom  for plunder  sake,  he  mistook  in  the  heavy  rain  to  be  Oglethorpe  or some  other  ginkus.  Parr  aparrently,  to  whom  the  headandheel- less  chickenestegg  bore  some  Michelangiolesque  resemblance, making  use  of  sacrilegious  languages  to  the  defect  that  he  would challenge  their  hemosphores  to  exterminate  them  but  he  would cannonise  the  b  —  y  b  —  r's  life  out  of  him  and  lay  him  out contritely  as  smart  as  the  b  —  r  had  his  b  —  y  nightprayers said,  three  patrecknocksters  and  a  couplet  of  hellmuirries  {tout est  sacre  pour  un  sacreur^  femme  a  harhe  ou  homme-nourrice)  at  the same  time,  so  as  to  plugg  well  let  the  blubbywail  ghoats  out  of him,  catching  hoist  of  an  oblong  bar  he  had  and  with  which  he usually  broke  furnitures  he  rose  the  stick  at  him.  The  boarder incident  prerepeated  .igjlf.  The  pair  (whethertheywere  Nippo- luono  engaging  Wei-Ling-Taou  or  de  Razzkias  trying  to  recon- noistre  the  general  Boukeleff,  man  may  not  say),  struggled apairendy  for  some  considerable  time,  (the  cradle  rocking  equally
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L  ^'  to  one  and  oppositely  from  the  other  on  its  law  of  capture  and ^  t/^  recapture),  under  the  All  In  rules  around  the  booksafe,  fighting like  purple  top  and  tipperuhry  Swede,  (Secremented  Servious  of the  Divine  Zeal !)  and  in  the  course  of  their  tussle  the  toller  man, who  had  opened  his  bully  bowl  to  beg,  said  to  the  miner  who was  carrying  the  worm  (a  handy  term  for  the  portable  distillery which  consisted  of  three  vats,  two  jars  and  several  bottles  though we  purposely  say  nothing  of  the  stiff,  both  parties  having  an interest  in  the  spirits):  Let  me  go,  Pautheen!  I  hardly  knew  ye. Later  on,  after  the  solstitial  pause  for  refleshmeant,  the  same man  (or  a  different  and  younger  him  of  the  same  ham)  asked  in the  vermicular  with  a  very  oggly  chew-chin-grin:  Was  six  vic- tolios  fifteen  pigeon  takee  offa  you,  tell  he  me,  stlongfella,  by picky-pocky  ten  to  foul  months  behindaside?  There  were  some further  collidabanter  and  severe  tries  to  convert  for  the  best  part of  an  hour  and  now  a  woden  affair  in  the  shape  of  a  webley  (we at  once  recognise  our  old  friend  Ned  of  so  many  illortemporate letters)  fell  from  the  intruser  who,  as  stuck  as  that  cat  to  that mouse  in  that  tube  of  that  christchurch  organ,  (did  the  imnage  of Girl  Cloud  Pensive  flout  above  them  light  young  charm,  in ribbons  and  pigtail?)  whereupon  became  friendly  and,  saying  not his  shirt  to  tear,  to  know  wanted,  joking  and  knobkerries  all aside  laying,  if  his  change  companion  who  stuck  still  to  the  in- vention of  his  strongbox,  with  a  tenacity  corrobberating  their mutual  tenitorial  rights,  happened  to  have  the  loots  change  of a  tenpound  crickler  about  him  at  the  moment,  addling  that  hap so,  he  would  pay  him  back  the  six  vies  odd,  do  you  see,  out  of that  for  what  was  taken  on  the  man  of  samples  last  Yuni  or  Yuly, do  you  follow  me,  Capn?  To  this  the  other,  Billi  with  the  Boule, who  had  mummed  and  mauled  up  to  that  (for  he  was  hesitency carried  to  excelcism)  rather  amusedly  replied:  Woowoo  would you  be  grossly  surprised.  Hill,  to  learn  that,  as  it  so  happens,  I honestly  have  not  such  a  thing  as  the  loo,  as  the  least  chance  of a  tinpanned  crackler  anywhere  about  me  at  the  present  moho- moment  but  I  believe  I  can  see  my  way,  as  you  suggest,  it being  Yuletide  or  Yuddanfest  and  as  it's  mad  nuts,  son,  for  you
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:
when  it's  hatter's  hares,  mon,  for  me,  to  advance  you  something like  four  and  sevenpence  between  hopping  and  trapping  which you  might  just  as  well  have,  boy  baches,  to  buy  J.  J.  and  S.  with. There  was  a  minute  silence  before  memory's  fire's  rekindling  and then.  Heart  alive!  Which  at  very  first  wind  of  gay  gay  and  whisk- wigs  wick's  ears  pricked  up,  the  starving  gunman,  strike  him pink,  became  strangely  calm  and  forthright  sware  by  all  his  lards porsenal  that  the  thorntree  of  sheol  might  ramify  up  his  Sheo- fon  to  the  lux  apointlex  but  he  would  go  good  to  him  suntime marx  my  word  fort,  for  a  chip  off  the  old  Flint,  (in  the  Nichtian glossery  which  purveys  aprioric  roots  for  aposteriorious  tongues this  is  nat  language  at  any  sinse  of  the  world  and  one  might  as fairly  go  and  kish  his  sprogues  as  fail  to  certify  whether  the wartrophy  eluded  at  some  lives  earlier  was  that  somethink  like  a jug,  to  what,  a  coctable)  and  remarxing  in  languidoily,  seemingly much  more  highly  pleased  than  tongue  could  tell  at  this  opening of  a  lifetime  and  the  foretaste  of  the  Dun  Bank  pearlmothers and  the  boy  to  wash  down  which  he  would  feed  to  himself  in the  Ruadh  Cow  at  Tallaght  and  then  into  the  Good  Woman  at Ringsend  and  after  her  inat  Conway's  Inn  at  Blackrock  and,  first to  fall,  cursed  be  all,  where  appetite  would  keenest  be,  atte, funeral  fare  or  fun  fain  real,  Adam  and  Eve's  in  Quantity  Street by  the  grace  of  gamy  queen  Tailte,  her  will  and  testament:  You stunning  little  southdowner!  I'd  know  you  anywhere,  Declaney, let  me  truthfully  tell  you  in  or  out  of  the  lexinction  of  life  and who  the  hell  else,  be  your  blanche  patch  on  the  boney  part! Goalball  I've  struck  this  daylit  dielate  night  of  nights,  by  golly! My  hat,  you  have  some  bully  German  grit,  sundowner!  He spud  in  his  faust  (axin);  he  toped  the  raw  best  (pardun);  he poked  his  pick  (a  tip  is  a  tap):  and  he  tucked  his  friend's  leave.  And, with  French  hen  or  the  portlifowlium  of  hastes  and  leisures,  about to  continue  that,  the  queer  mixture  exchanged  the  pax  in  embrace or  poghue  puxy  as  practised  between  brothers  of  the  same  breast, hillelulia,  killelulia,  allenalaw,  and,  having  ratified  before  the god  of  the  day  their  torgantruce  which  belittlers  have  schmall- kalled  the  treatyng  to  cognac,  turning  his  fez  menialstrait  in  the
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direction  of  Moscas,  he  first  got  rid  of  a  few  mitsmillers  and hurooshoos  and  levanted  off  with  tubular  jurbulance  at  a  bull's run  over  the  assback  bridge,  spitting  his  teeths  on  rooths,  with  the seven  and  four  in  danegeld  and  their  humoral  hurlbat  or  other uncertain  weapon  of  lignum  vitaey  but  so  evermore  rhumanasant  of a  toboggan  poop,  picked  up  to  keep  some  crowplucking  ap- pointment with  some  rival  rialtos  anywheres  between  Pearidge and  the  Littlehorn  while  this  poor  delaney,  who  they  left  along with  the  confederate  fender  behind  and  who  albeit  ballsbluffed, bore  up  wonderfully  wunder  all  of  it  with  a  whole  number  of plumsized  contusiums,  plus  alasalah  bruised  coccyx,  all  over  him, reported  the  occurance  in  the  best  way  he  could,  to  the  flabber- gaze  of  the  whole  lab,  giving  the  Paddybanners  the  military salute  as  for  his  exilicy's  the  O'Daffy,  in  justifiable  hope  that, in  nobiloroman  review  of  the  hugely  sitisfactuary  conclusium of  their  negotiations  and  the  jugglemonkysh  agripment  dein- derivative,  some  lotion  or  fomentation  of  poppyheads  would  be jennerously  exhibited  to  the  parts,  at  the  nearest  watchhouse  in Vicar  Lane,  the  white  ground  of  his  face  all  covered  with  diagon- ally redcrossed  nonfatal  mammalian  blood  as  proofpositive  of  the seriousness  of  his  character  and  that  he  was  bleeding  in  self defience  (stanch  it!)  from  the  nostrils,  lips,  pavilion  and  palate, while  some  of  his  hitter's  hairs  had  been  pulled  off  his  knut's head  by  Colt  though  otherwise  his  allround  health  appeared  to be  middling  along  as  it  proved  most  fortunate  that  not  one  of the  two  hundred  and  six  bones  and  five  hundred  and  one  muscles in  his  corso  was  a  whit  the  whorse  for  her  whacking.  Herwho?
Nowthen,  leaving  clashing  ash,  brawn  and  muscle  and  brass- made  to  oust  earthernborn  and  rockcrystal  to  wreck  isinglass  but wurming  along  gradually  for  our  savings  backtowards  mother- waters  so  many  miles  from  bank  and  Dublin  stone  (olympiading even  till  the  eleventh  dynasty  to  reach  that  thuddysickend  Ham- laugh)  and  to  the  question  of  honey's  unlawfully  obtaining  a pierced  paraflamme  and  claptrap  fireguard  there  crops  out  the still  more  salient  point  of  the  politish  leanings  and  town  pursuits of  our  forebeer.  El  Don  De  Dunelli,  (may  his  ship  thicked  stick
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in  the  bottol  of  the  river  and  all  his  crewsers  stock  locked  in  the burral  of  the  seas !)  who,  when  within  the  black  of  your  toenail, sir,  of  being  mistakenly  ambushed  by  one  of  the  uddahveddahs, and  as  close  as  made  no  matter,  mam,  to  being  kayoed  offhand when  the  hyougono  heckler  with  the  Peter  the  Painter  wanted to  hole  him,  was  consistently  practising  the  first  of  the  primary and  imprescriptible  liberties  of  the  pacific  subject  by  circulating (be  British,  boys  to  your  bellybone  and  chuck  a  chum  a  chance!) alongst  one  of  our  umphrohibited  semitary  thrufahrts,  open  to buggy  and  bike,  to  walk,  Wellington  Park  road,  with  the  curb or  quaker's  quacknostrum  under  his  auxter  and  his  alpenstuck  in his  redhand,  a  highly  commendable  exercise,  or,  number  two  of our  acta  legidma  plebeia^  on  the  brink  (beware  to  baulk  a  man  at his  will!)  of  taking  place  upon  a  public  seat,  to  what,  bare  by Butt's,  mqsieasterly  (but  all  goes  west !)  of  blackpool  bridges,  as a  public  protest  and  naturlikevice,  without  intent  to  annoy  either, being  praisegood  thankfully  for  the  wrathbereaved  ringdove  and the  fearstung  boaconstrictor  and  all  the  more  right  jollywell pleased,  which  he  was,  at  having  other  people's  weather.
But  to  return  to  the  atlantic  and  Phenitia  Proper.  As  if  that were  not  to  be  enough  for  anyone  but  little  headway,  if  any,  was made  in  solving  the  wasnottobe  crime  cunundrum  when  a  child of  Maam,  Festy  King,  of  a  family  long  and  honourably  associ- ated with  the  tar  and  feather  industries,  who  gave  an  address  in old  plomansch  Mayo  of  the  Saxons  in  the  heart  of  a  foulfamed potheen  district,  was  subsequently  haled  up  at  the  Old  Bailey on  the  calends  of  Mars,  under  an  incompatibly  framed  indictment of  both  the  counts  (from  each  equinoxious  points  of  view,  the  one fellow's  fetch  being  the  other  follow's  person)  that  is  to  see,  flying cushats  out  of  his  ouveralls  and  making  fesses  immodst  his  forces on  the  field.  Oyeh!  Oyeh!  When  the  prisoner,  soaked  in  methyl- ated, appeared  in  dry  dock,  appatently  ambrosiaurealised,  like Kersse's  Korduroy  Karikature,  wearing,  besides  stains,  rents  and patches,  his  fight  shirt,  straw  braces,  souwester  and  a  policeman's corkscrew  trowswers,  all  out  of  the  true  (as  he  had  purposely  torn up  all  his  cymtrymanx  bespokes  in  the  mamertime),  deposing  for
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his  exution  with  all  the  fluors  of  sparse  in  the  royal  Irish  vocabulary how  the  whole  padderjagmartin  tripiezite  suet  and  all  the  sulfeit of  copperas  had  fallen  off  him  quatz  unaccountably  like  the chrystalisations  of  Alum  on  Even  while  he  was  trying  for  to  stick fire  to  himcell,  (in  feacht  he  was  dripping  as  he  found  upon  strip- ping for  a  pipkin  ofmalt  as  he  feared  the  coold  raine)  it  was attempted  by  the  crown  (P.C.  Robort)  to  show  that  King,  elois Crowbar,  once  known  as  Meleky,  impersonating  a  climbing  boy, rubbed  some  pixes  of  any  luvial  peatsmoor  o'er  his  face,  plucks and  pussas,  with  a  clanetourf  as  the  best  means  of  disguising himself  and  was  to  the  middlewhite  fair  in  Mudford  of  a  Thoors- day,  feishts  of  Peeler  and  Pole,  under  the  illassumed  names  of Tykingfest  and  Rabworc  picked  by  him  and  Anthony  out  of  a tellafun  book,  ellegedly  with  a  pedigree  pig  (unlicensed)  and  a hyacinth.  They  were  on  that  sea  by  the  plain  of  Ir  nine  hundred and  ninetynine  years  and  they  never  cried  crack  or  ceased  from regular  paddlewicking  till  that  they  landed  their  two  and  a trifling  selves,  amadst  camel  and  ass,  greybeard  and  suckling, priest  and  pauper,  matrmatron  and  merrymeg,  into  the  meddle of  the  mudstorm.  The  gathering,  convened  by  the  Irish  Angri- cultural  and  Prepostoral  Ouraganisations,  to  help  the  Irish  muck to  look  his  brother  dane  in  the  face  and  attended  thanks  to Larry  by  large  numbers,  of  christies  and  jew's  totems,  tospite  of the  deluge,  was  distinctly  of  a  scattery  kind  when  the  bally- bricken  he  could  get  no  good  of,  after  cockofthewalking  through a  few  fancyfought  mains  ate  some  of  the  doorweg,  the  pikey later  selling  the  gentleman  ratepayer  because  she,  Francie's  sister, that  is  to  say,  ate  a  whole  side  of  his  (the  animal's)  sty,  on  a struggle  Street,  Qui  Sta  Troia^  in  order  to  pay  off,  hiss  or  lick, six  doubloons  fifteen  arrears  of  his,  the  villain's  not  the  rumbler's rent.
Remarkable  evidence  was  given,  anon,  by  an  eye,  ear,  nose and  throat  witness,  whom  Wesleyan  chapelgoers  suspected  of being  a  plain  clothes  priest  W.P.,  situate  at  Nullnull,  Medical Square,  who,  upon  letting  down  his  rice  and  peacegreen  cover- disk  and  having  been  sullenly  cautioned  against  yawning  while
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I
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being  grilled,  smiled  (he  had  had  a  onebumper  at  parting  from Mrs  Molroe  in  the  morning)  and  stated  to  his  eliciter  under  his morse  mustaccents  (gobbless !)  that  he  slept  with  a  bonafides  and that  he  would  be  there  to  remember  the  filth  of  November, hatinaring,  rowdy  O,  which,  with  the  jiboulees  of  Juno  and  the dates  of  ould  lanxiety,  was  going,  please  the  Rainmaker,  to decembs  within  the  ephemerides  of  profane  history,  all  one  with Tournay,  Yetstoslay  and  Temorah,  and  one  thing  which  would pigstickularly  strike  a  person  of  such  sorely  tried  observational powers  as  Sam,  him  and  Moffat,  though  theirs  not  to  reason  why, the  striking  thing  about  it  was  that  he  was  patrified  to  see,  hear, taste  and  smell,  as  his  time  of  night,  how  Hyacinth  O'Donnell, B.A.,  described  in  the  calendar  as  a  mixer  and  wordpainter,  with part  of  a  sivispacem  (Gaeltact  for  dungfork)  on  the  fair  green at  the  hour  of  twenty-four  o'clock  sought  (the  bullycassidy  of the  friedhoffer!)  to  sack,  sock,  stab  and  slaughter  singlehanded another  two  of  the  old  kings,  Gush  Mac  Gale  and  Roaring O'Crian,  Jr.,  both  changelings,  unlucalised,  of  no  address  and in  noncommunicables,  between  him  and  whom,  ever  since  wal- lops before  the  Mise  of  Lewes,  bad  blood  existed  on  the  ground of  the  boer's  trespass  on  the  bull  or  because  he  firstparted  his polarbeeber  hair  in  twoways,  or  because  they  were  creepfoxed andt  grousuppers  over  a  nippy  in  a  noveletta,  or  because  they could  not  say  meace,  (mute  and  daft)  meathe.  The  litigants,  he said,  local  congsmen  and  donalds,  kings  of  the  arans  and  the  dalk- eys,  kings  of  mud  and  tory,  even  the  goat  king  of  Killorglin, were  egged  on  by  their  supporters  in  the  shape  of  better  wo  men with  bowstrung  hair  of  Carrothagenuine  ruddiness,  waving  crim- son petties  and  screaming  from  Isod's  towertop.  There  were cries  from  the  thicksets  in  court  and  from  the  macdublins  on  the bohernabreen  of:  Mind  the  bank  from  Banagher,  Mick,  sir!  Pro- dooce  O'Donner.  Ay!  Exhibit  his  relics!  Bu!  Use  the  tongue mor!  Give  lip  less!  But  it  oozed  out  in  Deadman's  Dark  Scenery Court  through  crossexanimation  of  the  casehardened  testis  that when  and  where  that  knife  of  knifes  the  treepartied  ambush  was laid  (roughly  spouting  around  half  hours  'twixt  dusk  in  dawn,
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by  Waierhose's  Meddle  Europeic  Time,  near  Stop  and  Think, high  chief  evervirens  and  only  abfalltree  in  auld  the  land)  there was  not  as  much  light  from  the  widowed  moon  as  would  dim  a child's  altar.  The  mixer,  accordingly,  was  bluntly  broached,  and in  the  best  basel  to  boot,  as  to  whether  he  was  one  of  those lucky  cocks  for  whom  the  audible-visible-gnosible-edible  world existed.  That  he  was  only  too  cognitively  conatively  cogitabun- dantly  sure  of  it  because,  living,  loving,  breathing  and  sleeping morphomelosophopancreates,  as  he  most  significantly  did,  when- ever he  thought  he  heard  he  saw  he  felt  he  made  a  bell  clipper- clipperclipperclipper.  Whether  he  was  practically  sure  too  of  his lugs  and  truies  names  in  this  king  and  blouseman  business?  That he  was  pediculously  so.  Certified.^  As  cad  could  be.  Be  lying !  Be the  lonee  I  will.  It  was  Morbus  O*  Somebody.'^  A' Quite.  Szer- day's  Son.'*  A  satyr  in  weddens.  And  how  did  the  greeneyed mister  arrive  at  the  B.A..'*  That  it  was  like  his  poll.  A  cross- grained  trapper  with  murty  odd  oogs,  awflorated  ares,  inquiline nase  and  a  twithcherous  mouph.'*  He  would  be.  Who  could  bit you  att  to  a  tenyerdfuul  when  aastalled,'^  Ballera  jobbera.  Some majar  bore  too.'*  Iguines.  And  with  tumblerous  legs,  redipnomi- nated  Helmingham  Erchenwyne  Rutter  Egbert  Crumwall  Odin Maximus  Esme  Saxon  Esa  Vercingetorix  Ethelwulf  Rupprecht Ydwalla  Bentley  Osmund  Dysart  Yggdrasselmann.'^  Holy  Saint Eiffel,  the  very  phoenix!  It  was  Chudley  Magnall  once  more between  the  deffodates  and  the  dumb  scene.'*  The  two  childspies waapreesing  him  auza  de  Vologue  but  the  renting  of  his  rock was  from  the  three  wicked  Vuncouverers  Forests  bent  down awhits,  arthou  sure.'*  Yubeti,  Cumbilum  comes!  One  of  the  ox- men's  thingabossers,  hvad.'*  And  had  he  been  refresqued  by  the founts  of  bounty  playing  there  —  is  —  a  —  pain  —  aleland  in Long's  gourgling  barral.'^  A  loss  of  Lorded  ward  and  a  lack  of  sir- philip  a  surgeonet  showeradown  could  suck  more  gargling bubbles  out  of  thejfive  lamps  in  Portterand's  praise.  Wirrgeling and  maries.'*  As  whose  wouldn't,  laving  his  leaftime  in  Black- pool. But,  of  course,  he  could  call  himself  Tem,  too,  if  he  had time  to.'^  You  butt  he  could  anytom.  When  he  pleased?  Win  and
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place.  A  stoker  temptated  by  evesdripping  aginst  the  driver  who was  a  witness  as  well?  Sacred  avatar,  how  the  devil  did  they guess  it!  Two  dreamyums  in  one  dromium?  Yes  and  no  error. And  both  as  like  as  a  duel  of  lentils?  Peacisely.  So  he  was  pelted out  of  the  coram  populo,  was  he?  Be  the  powers  that  be  he  was. The  prince  in  principel  should  not  expose  his  person?  Mac- chevuole!  Rooskayman  kamerad?  Sooner  Gallwegian  he  would say.  Not  unintoxicated,  fair  witness?  Drunk  as  a  fishup.  Askt  to whether  she  minded  whither  he  smuked?  Not  if  he  barkst  into phlegms.  Anent  his  ajaciulations  to  his  Crosscann  Lorne,  cossa? It  was  corso  in  cursu  on  coarser  again.  The  gracious  miss  was we  not  doubt  sensible  how  yellowatty  on  the  forx  was  altered? That  she  esually  was,  O'Dowd  me  not!  As  to  his  religion,  if any?  It  was  the  see-you-Sunday  sort.  Exactly  what  he  meant  by a  pederast  prig?  Bejacob's,  just  a  gent  who  prayed  his  lent.  And if  middleclassed  portavorous  was  a  usual  beast?  Bynight  as  useful as  a  vomit  to  a  shorn  man.  If  he  had  rognarised  dtheir  gcourts marsheyls?  Dthat  nday  in  ndays  he  had.  Lindendelly,  coke  or skilllies  spell  me  gart  without  a  gate?  Harlyadrope.  The  grazing » rights  (Mrs  Magistra  Martinetta)  expired  with  the  expiry  of  the goat's  sire,  if  they  were  not  mistaken?  That  he  exactly  could  not tell  the  worshipfuls  but  his  mother-in- waders  had  the  recipis  for the  price  of  the  coffin  and  that  he  was  there  to  tell  them  that herself  was  the  velocipede  that  could  tell  them  kitcat.  A  maun- darin  tongue  in  a  pounderin  jowl?  Father  ourder  about  the mathers  of  prenanciation.  Distributary  endings?  And  we  recom- mends. Quare  hiTcum?  No  answer.  Unde  gentium  fe  , , No  ah. Are  you  not  danzzling  on  the  age  of  a  vulcano?  Siar,  I  am  deed. And  how  olid  of  him?  He  was  intendant  to  study  pulu.  Which was  meant  in  a  shirt  of  two  shifts  macoghamade  or  up  Finn, threehatted  ladder?  That  a  head  in  thighs  under  a  bush  at  the sunface  would  bait  a  serpent  to  a  millrace  through  the  heather. Arm  bird  colour  defdum  ethnic  fort  perharps?  Sure  and  glomsk handy  jotalpheson  as  well.  Hokey  jasons,  then,  in  a  pigeegeeses? On  a  pontiff's  order  as  ture  as  there's  an  ital  on  atac.  As  a  gololy bit  to  joss?  Leally  and  tululy.  But,  why  this  hankowchaff  and
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whence  this  second  tone,  son-yet-sun?  He  had  the  cowtaw  in  his buxers  flay  of  face.  So  this  that  Solasistras,  setting  odds  evens  at defiance,  took  the  laud  from  Labouriter?  What  displaced  Tob, Dilke  and  Halley,  not  been  greatly  in  love  with  the  game.  And, changing  the  venders,  from  the  king's  head  to  the  republican's arms,  as  to  the  pugnaxities  evinxed  from  flagfall  to  antepost during  the  effrays  round  fatherthyme's  beckside  and  the  regents in  the  plantsown  raining,  with  the  skiddystars  and  the  morkern- windup,  how  they  appealed  to  him  then.^  That  it  was  wildfires night  on  all  the  bettygallaghers.  Mickmichael's  soords  shrieking shrecks  through  the  wilkinses  and  neckanicholas'  toastingforks pricking  prongs  up  the  tunnybladders.  Let  there  be  fight.'^  And there  was.  Foght.  On  the  site  of  the  Angel's,  you  said.'^  Guinney's Gap,  he  said,  between  what  they  said  and  the  pussykitties.  In  the middle  of  the  garth,  then.^  That  they  mushn't  toucht  it.  The  de- voted couple  was  or  were  only  two  disappainted  solicitresses  on the  job  of  the  unfortunate  class  on  Saturn's  mountain  fort.'^  That was  about  it,  jah!  And  Camellus  then  said  to  Gemellus:  I  should know  you?  Parfaitly.  And  Gemellus  then  said  to  Camellus:  Yes, your  brother.^  Obsolutely.  And  if  it  was  all  about  that,  egregious sir.'^  About  that  and  the  other.  If  he  was  not  alluding  to  the  whole in  the  wall.'^  That  he  was  when  he  was  not  eluding  from  the  whole of  the  woman.  Briefly,  how  such  beginall  finally  struck  him  now.'^ Like  the  crack  that  bruck  the  bank  in  Multifarnham.  Whether  he fell  in  with  what  they  meant.'*  Cursed  that  he  suppoxed  he  did. Thos  Thoris,  Thomar's  Thom.'^  The  rudacist  rotter  in  Roebuck- dom.  Surtopical.'^  And  subhuman.  If  it  was,  in  yappanoise  lan- guage, ach  bad  clap.'^  Oo!  Ah!  Augs  and  ohrs  with  Rhian  O'- kehley  to  put  it  tertianly,  we  wrong .'^  Shocking!  Such  as  turly pearced  our  realty's  that  he  might,  that  he  might  never,  that  he might  never  that  night?  Treely  and  rurally.  Bladyughfoulmoeck- lenburgwhurawhorascortastrumpapomanennykocksapastippata  - ppatupperstrippuckputtanach,  eh?  You  have  it  alright.
Meirdreach  an  Oincuish !  But  a  new  complexion  was  put  upon the  matter  when  to  the  perplexedly  uncondemnatory  bench (whereon  punic  judgeship  strove  with  penal  law)  the  senior
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king  of  all,  Pegger  Festy,  as  soon  as  the  outer  layer  of  stuccko- muck  had  been  removed  at  the  request  of  a  few  live  jurors, declared  in  a  loudburst  of  poesy,  through  his  Brythonic  inter- preter on  his  oath,  mhuith  peisth  mhuise  as  fearra  bheura  muirre hriosmas,  whereas  take  notice  be  the  relics  of  the  bones  of  the story  bouchal  that  was  ate  be  Cliopatrick  (the  sow)  princess of  parked  porkers,  afore  God  and  all  their  honours  and  king's commons  that,  what  he  would  swear  to  the  Tierney  of  Dundal- gan  or  any  other  Tierney,  yif  live  thurkells  folloged  him  about sure  that  was  no  steal  and  that,  nevertheless,  what  was  deposited from  that  eyebold  earbig  noseknaving  gutthroat,  he  did  not  fire a  stone  either  before  or  after  he  was  bom  down  and  up  to  that time.  And,  incidentalising  that  they  might  talk  about  Markarthy or  they  might  walk  to  Baalastartey  or  they  might  join  the  nabour party  and  come  on  to  Porterfeud  this  the  sockdologer  had  the neck  to  endorse  with  the  head  bowed  on  him  over  his  outturned noreaster  by  protesting  to  his  lipreaders  with  a  justbeencleaned barefacedness,  abeam  of  moonlight's  hope,  in  the  same  trelawney what  he  would  impart,  pleas  bench,  to  the  Llwyd  Josus  and  the gentlemen  in  Jury's  and  the  four  of  Masterers  who  had  been  all those  yarns  yearning  for  that  good  one  about  why  he  left Dublin,  that,  amreeta  beaker  coddling  doom,  as  an  Inishman  was as  good  as  any  cantonnatal,  if  he  was  to  parish  by  the  market  steak before  the  dorming  of  the  mawn,  he  skuld  never  ask  to  see  sight  or light  of  this  world  or  the  other  world  or  any  either  world,  of  Tyre- nan- Og,  as  true  as  he  was  there  in  that  jackabox  that  minute,  or wield  or  wind  (no  thanks  t'yous  1)  the  inexousthausthible  wassail- horn  tot  of  iskybaush  the  hailth  up  the  wailth  of  the  endknown  ab- god  of  the  fire  of  the  moving  way  of  the  hawks  with  his  heroes  in Warhorror  if  ever  in  all  his  exchequered  career  he  up  or  lave  a chancery  hand  to  take  or  throw  the  sign  of  a  mortal  stick  or  stone at  man,  yoelamb  or  salvation  army  either  before  or  after  being puptised  down  to  that  most  holy  and  every  blessed  hour.  Here, upon  the  halfkneed  castleknocker's  attempting  kithoguishly  to lilt  his  holymess  the  paws  and  make  the  sign  of  the  Roman  God- helic  faix,  (Xaroshie,  zdrst!  —  in  his  excitement  the  laddo  had
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broken  exthro  Castilian  into  which  the  whole  audience  perse- guired  and  pursuited  him  olla  podridd)  outbroke  much  yellach- ters  from  owners  in  the  heall  (Ha!)  in  which,  under  the  mollifi- cation of  methaglin,  the  testifighter  reluctingly,  but  with  ever  so ladylike  indecorum,  joined.  (Ha!  Ha!)
The  hilariohoot  of  Pegger's  Windup  cumjustled  as  neatly with  the  tristitone  of  the  Wet  Pinter's  as  were  they  isce  et  ilk equals  of  opposites,  evolved  by  a  onesame  power  of  nature  or  of spirit,  iste^  as  the  sole  condition  and  means  of  its  himundher manifestation  and  polarised  for  reunion  by  the  symphysis  of their  antipathies.  Distinctly  different  were  their  duasdestinies. Whereas  the  maidies  of  the  bar,  (a  pairless  trentene,  a  lunarised score)  when  the  eranthus  myrrmyrred:  Show'm  the  Posed: fluttered  and  flattered  around  the  willingly  pressed,  nominating him  for  the  swiney  prize,  complimenting  him,  the  captivating youth,  on  his  having  all  his  senses  about  him,  stincking  thyacinths through  his  curls  (O  feen!  O  deur!)  and  bringing  busses  to  his cheeks,  their  masculine  Oirisher  Rose  (his  neece  cleur!),  and legando  round  his  nice  new  neck  for  him  and  pizzicagnoling  his woolywags,  with  their  dindy  dandy  sugar  de  candy  mechree  me postheen  flowns  courier  to  belive  them  of  all  his  untiring  young dames  and  send  treats  in  their  times.  Ymen.  But  it  was  not  un- observed of  those  presents,  their  worships,  how,  of  one  among all,  her  deputised  to  defeme  him  by  the  Lunar  Sisters'  Celibacy Club,  a  lovelooking  leapgirl,  all  all  alonely,  Gentia  Gemma  of  the Makegiddyculling  Reeks,  he,  wan  and  pale  in  his  unmixed  admir- ation, seemed  blindly,  mutely,  tastelessly,  tactlessly,  innamorate with  heruponhim  in  shining  aminglement,  the  shaym  of  his  hisu shifting  into  the  shimmering  of  her  hers,  (youthsy,  beautsy,  hee's her  chap  and  shey'll  tell  memmas  when  she  gays  whom)  till  the wild  wishwish  of  her  sheeshea  melted  most  musically  mid  the dark  deepdeep  of  his  shayshaun.
And  whereas  distracted  (for  was  not  just  this  in  effect  which had  just  caused  that  the  effect  of  that  which  it  had  caused  to  oc- cur?) the  four  justicers  laid  their  wigs  together,  Untius,  Mun- cius,  Punchus  and  Pylax  but  could  do  no  worse  than  promulgate
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their  standing  verdict  of  Nolans  Brumans  whereoneafter  King, having  murdered  all  the  English  he  knew,  picked  out  his  pockets and  left  the  tribunal  scotfree,  trailing  his  Tommeylommey's  tunic in  his  hurry,  thereinunder  proudly  showing  off  the  blink  pitch  to his  britgits  to  prove  himself  (an't  plase  yous!)  a  rael  genteel.  To the  Switz  bobbyguard's  curial  but  courtlike:  Commodore  valley  O hairy,  Arthre  jennyrosy?:  the  firewaterloover  returted  with  such  a vinesmelling  fortytudor  ages  rawdownhams  tanyouhide  as  would turn  the  latten  stomach  even  of  a  tumass  equinous  (we  were  pre- pared for  the  chap's  clap  cap,  the  accent,  but,  took  us  as,  by  surprise and  now  we're  geshing  it  like  gush  gash  from  a  burner !)  so  that  all the  twofromthirty  advocatesses  within  echo,  pulling  up  their  briefs at  the  krigkry:  Shun  the  Punman!:  safely  and  soundly  soccered that  fenemine  Parish  Poser,  (how  dare  he!)  umprumptu  right- oway  hames,  much  to  his  thanks,  gratiasagam,  to  all  the  wrong donatrices,  biss  Drinkbattle's  Dingy  Dwellings  where  (for  like your  true  venuson  Esau  he  was  dovetimid  as  the  dears  at Bottome)  he  shat  in  (zoo),  like  the  muddy  goalbind  who  he  was (dun),  the  chassetitties  belles  conclaiming:  You  and  your  gift  of your  gaft  of  your  garbage  abaht  our  Farvver!  and  gaingridando: Hon!  Verg!  Nau!  Putor!  Skam!  Schams!  Shames!
And  so  it  all  ended.  Artha  kam.a  dharma  moksa.  Ask  Kavya  for the  kay.  And  so  everybody  heard  their  plaint  and  all  listened  to their  plause.  The  letter!  The  litter!  And  the  soother  the  bitther! Of  eyebrow  pencilled,  by  lipstipple  penned.  Borrowing  a  word and  begging  the  question  and  stealing  tinder  and  slipping  like soap.  From  dark  Rosa  Lane  a  sigh  and  a  weep,  from  Lesbia Looshe  the  beam  in  her  eye,  from  lone  Coogan  Barry  his  arrow of  song,  from  Sean  Kelly's  anagrim  a  blush  at  the  name,  from I  am  the  Sullivan  that  trumpeting  tramp,  from  Suffering  Duf- ferin  the  Sit  of  her  Style,  from  Kathleen  May  Vernon  her  Mebbe fair  efforts,  from  Fillthepot  Curran  his  scotchlove  machree- ther,  from  hymn  Op.  2  Phil  Adolphos  the  weary  O,  the  leery, O,  from  Samyouwill  Leaver  or  Damyouwell  Lover  that  jolly old  molly  bit  or  that  bored  saunter  by,  from  Timm  Finn  again's weak  tribes  loss  of  strenghth  to  his  sowheel,  from  the  wedding
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on  the  greene,  agirlies,  the  gretnass  of  joyboys,  from  Pat  Mullen, Tom  Mallon,  Dan  Meldon,  Don  Maldon  a  slickstick  picnic  made in  Moate  by  Muldoons.  The  solid  man  saved  by  his  sillied  woman. Crackajolking  away  like  a  hearse  on  fire.  The  elm  that  whimpers at  the  top  told  the  stone  that  moans  when  stricken.  Wind  broke it.  Wave  bore  it.  Reed  wrote  of  it.  Syce  ran  with  it.  Hand  tore it  and  wild  went  war.  Hen  trieved  it  and  plight  pledged  peace. It  was  folded  with  cunning,  sealed  with  crime,  uptied  by  a  harlot, undone  by  a  child.  It  was  life  but  was  it  fair.'^  It  was  free  but  was it  art.^  The  old  hunks  on  the  hill  read  it  to  perlection.  It  made ma  make  merry  and  sissy  so  shy  and  rubbed  some  shine  off  Shem and  put  some  shame  into  Shaun.  Yet  Una  and  Ita  spill  famine with  drought  and  Agrippa,  the  propastored,  spells  tripulations in  his  threne.  Ah,  furchte  fruchte,  timid  Danaides !  Ena  milo  melo- mon,  frai  is  frau  and  swee  is  too,  swee  is  two  when  swoo  is  free, ana  mala  woe  is  we!  A  pair  of  sycopanties  with  amygdaleine eyes,  one  old  obster  lumpky  pumpkin  and  three  meddlars  on their  slies.  And  that  was  how  framm  Sin  fromm  Son,  acity  arose, finfin  funfun,  a  sitting  arrows.  Now  tell  me,  tell  me,  tell  me  then!
What  was  it.'^
A  !
?  O!
So  there  you  are  now  there  they  were,  when  all  was  over again,  the  four  with  them,  setting  around  upin  their  judges' chambers,  in  the  muniment  room,  of  their  marshalsea,  under  the suspices  of  Lally,  around  their  old  traditional  tables  of  the  law like  Somany  Solans  to  talk  it  over  rallthesameagain.  Well  and druly  dry.  Suffering  law  the  dring.  Accourting  to  king's  evelyns. So  help  her  goat  and  kiss  the  bouc.  Festives  and  highajinks  and jintyaun  and  her  beetyrossy  bettydoaty  and  not  to  forget  now a'duna  o'darnel.  The  four  of  them  and  thank  court  now  there were  no  more  of  them.  So  pass  the  push  for  port  sake.  Be  it  soon. Ah  ho!  And  do  you  remember,  Singabob,  the  badfather,  the same,  the  great  Howdoyoucallem,  and  his  old  nickname.  Dirty Daddy  Pantaloons,  in  his  monopoleums,  behind  the  war  of  the two  roses,  with  Michael  Victory,  the  sheemen's  preester,  before
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he  caught  his  paper  dispillsation  from  the  poke,  old  Minace  and Minster  York?  Do  I  mind?  I  mind  the  gush  off  the  mon  like  Bal- lybock  manure  works  on  a  tradewinds  day.  And  the  O'Moyly grades  and  the  O' Briny  rossies  chaffing  him  bluchface  and  play- ing him  pranks.  How  do  you  do,  todo,  North  Mister?  Get  into my  way!  Ah  dearome  forsailoshe!  Gone  over  the  bays!  When ginabawdy  meadabawdy!  Yerra,  why  would  he  heed  that  old gasometer  with  his  hooping  coppin  and  his  dyinboosycough  and all  the  birds  of  the  southside  after  her,  Minxy  Cunningham,  their dear  divorcee  darling,  jimmies  and  jonnies  to  be  her  jo?  Hold hard.  There's  three  other  corners  to  our  isle's  cork  float.  Sure,  'tis well  I  can  telesmell  him  Hg  C  Eg  that  would  take  a  township's breath  away!  Gob  and  I  nose  him  too  well  as  I  do  meself,  heav- ing up  the  Kay  Wall  by  the  32  to  11  with  his  limelooking  horse- bags  full  of  sesameseed,  the  Whiteside  Kaffir,  and  his  say  man's effluvium  and  his  scentpainted  voice,  puffing  out  his  thundering big  brown  cabbage!  Pa!  Thawt  I'm  glad  a  gull  for  his  pawsdeen fiunn!  Goborro,  sez  he,  Lankyshied!  Gobugga  ye,  sez  I!  O breezes!  I  sniffed  that  lad  long  before  anyone.  It  was  when  I  was in  my  farfather  out  at  the  west  and  she  and  myself,  the  redheaded girl,  firstnighting  down  Sycomore  Lane.  Fine  feelplay  we  had of  it  mid  the  kissabetts  frisking  in  the  kool  kurkle  dusk  of  the lushiness.  My  perfume  of  the  pampas,  says  she  (meaning  me) putting  out  her  netherlights,  and  I'd  sooner  one  precious  sip  at your  pure  mountain  dew  than  enrich  my  acquaintance  with  that big  brewer's  belch.
And  so  they  went  on,  the  fourbottle  men,  the  analists,  ungu- am  and  nunguam  and  lunguam  again,  their  anschluss  about  her whosebefore  and  his  whereafters  and  how  she  was  lost  away away  in  the  fern  and  how  he  was  founded  deap  on  deep  in  anear, and  the  rustlings  and  the  twitterings  and  the  raspings  and  the snappings  and  the  sighings  and  the  paintings  and  the  ukukuings and  the  (hist!)  the  springapartings  and  the  (hast!)  the  bybyscutt- lings  and  all  the  scandalmunkers  and  the  pure  craigs  that  used  to be  (up)  that  time  living  and  lying  and  rating  and  riding  round Nunsbelly  Square.  And  all  the  buds  in  the  bush.  And  the  laugh-
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ing  jackass.  Harik!  Harik!  Harik!  The  rose  is  white  in  the  darik! And  Sunfella's  nose  has  got  rhinoceritis  from  haunting  the  roes in  the  parik!  So  all  rogues  lean  to  rhyme.  And  contradrinking themselves  about  Lillytrilly  law  pon  hilly  and  Mrs  Niall  of  the Nine  Corsages  and  the  old  markiss  their  besterfar,  and,  arrah, sure  there  was  never  a  marcus  at  all  at  all  among  the  manlies  and dear  Sir  Armoury,  queer  Sir  Rumoury,  and  the  old  house  by  the churpelizod,  and  all  the  goings  on  so  very  wrong  long  before when  they  were  going  on  retreat,  in  the  old  gammeldags,  the four  of  them,  in  Milton's  Park  under  lovely  Father  Whisperer and  making  her  love  with  his  stufTstuff  in  the  languish  of  flowers and  feeling  to  find  was  she  mushymushy,  and  wasn't  that  very both  of  them,  the  saucicissters,  a  drahereen  o  machreel^  and  (peep!) meeting  waters  most  improper  (peepette!)  ballround  the  garden, trickle  trickle  trickle  triss,  please,  miman,  may  I  go  flirting.'^ farmers  gone  with  a  groom  and  how  they  used  her,  mused  her, licksed  her  and  cuddled.  I  differ  with  ye !  Are  you  sure  of  your- self now.'^  You're  a  liar,  excuse  me!  I  will  not  and  you're  an- other !  And  Lully  holding  their  breach  of  the  peace  for  them.  Pool loll  Lolly!  To  give  and  to  take!  And  to  forego  the  pasht!  And all  will  be  forgotten!  Ah  ho!  It  was  too  too  bad  to  be  falling out  about  her  kindness  pet  and  the  shape  of  00000000 Ourang's  time.  Well,  all  right,  Lelly.  And  shakeahand.  And schenkusmore.  For  Craig  sake.  Be  it  suck. Well.?
Well,  even  should  not  the  framing  up  of  such  figments  in  the evidential  order  bring  the  true  truth  to  light  as  fortuitously  as a  dim  seer's  setting  of  a  starchart  might  (heaven  helping  it!)  un- cover the  nakedness  of  an  unknown  body  in  the  fields  of  blue or  as  forehearingly  as  the  sibspeeches  of  all  mankind  have  foli- ated (earth  seizing  them!)  from  the  root  of  some  funner's  stotter all  the  soundest  sense  to  be  found  immense  our  special  mentalists now  holds  {securus  iudicat  orbis  terrarum)  that  by  such  playing possum  our  hagious  curious  encestor  bestly  saved  his  brush  with his  posterity,  you,  charming  coparcenors,  us,  heirs  of  his  tailsie. Gundogs  of  all  breeds  were  beagling  with  renouncedoirbiandor-
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bkj^ugles,  hot  to  run  him,  given  law,  on  a  scent  breasthigh, keen  for  the  worry.  View!  From  his  holt  outratted  across  the Juletide's  genial  corsslands  of  Humfries  Chase  from  Mullinahob and  Peacockstown,  then  bearing  right  upon  Tankardstown,  the outlier,  a  white  noelan  which  Mr  Loewensteil  Fitz  Urse's  basset beaters  had  first  misbadgered  for  a  bruin  of  some  swart,  led bayers  the  run,  then  through  Raystown  and  Horlockstown  and, louping  the  loup,  to  Tankardstown  again.  Ear  canny  hare  for doubling  through  Cheeverstown  they  raced  him,  through Loughlinstown  and  Nutstown  to  wind  him  by  the  Boolies.  But from  the  good  turn  when  he  last  was  lost,  check,  upon  Ye  Hill of  Rut  in  full  winter  coat  with  ticker  pads,  pointing  for  his  room- ing house  his  old  nordest  in  his  rolltoproyal  hessians  a  deaf  fuch- ser's  volponism  hid  him  close  in  covert,  miraculously  ravenfed and  buoyed  up,  in  rumer,  reticule,  onasum  and  abomasum,  upon (may  AUbrewham  have  his  mead!)  the  creamclotted  sherriness  of cinnamon  syllabub,  Mikkelraved,  Nikkelsaved.  Hence  hounds hied  home.  Preservative  perseverance  in  the  reeducation  of  his intestines  was  the  rebuttal  by  whilk  he  sort  of  git  the  big  bulge on  the  whole  bunch  of  spasoakers,  dieting  against  glues  and  gra- vies, in  that  sometime  prestreet  protown.  Vainly  violence,  viru- lence and  vituperation  sought  wellnigh  utterly  to  attax  and  a- bridge,  to  derail  and  depontify,  to  enrate  and  inroad,  to  ongoad and  unhume  the  great  shipping  mogul  and  under  linen  overlord.
But  the  spoil  of  hesitants,  the  spell  of  hesitency.  His  atake  is it  ashe,  tittery  taw  tatterytail,  hasitense  humponadimply,  heyhey- heyhey  a  winceywencky.
Assembly  men  murmured.    Reynard  is  slow!
One  feared  for  his  days.  Did  there  yawn.^  'Twas  his  stom- mick.  Eruct.^  The  libber.  A  gush.^  From  his  visuals.  Pung.^  De- livver  him,  orelode !  He  had  laid  violent  hands  on  himself,  it  was brought  in  Fugger's  Newsletter,  lain  down,  all  in,  fagged  out, with  equally  melancholy  death.  For  the  triduum  of  Saturnalia his  goatservant  had  paraded  hiz  willingsons  in  the  Forum  while the  jenny  infanted  the  lass  to  be  greeted  raucously  (the  Yardstat- ed)  with  houx  and  epheus  and  measured  with  missiles  too  from
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a  hundred  of  manhood  and  a  wimmering  of  weibes.  Big  went the  bang:  then  wildewide  was  quiet:  a  report:  silence:  last  Fama put  it  under  ether.  The  noase  or  the  loal  had  dreven  him  blem, blem,  stun  blem.  Sparks  flew.  He  had  fled  again  (open  shun- shema!)  this  country  of  exile,  sloughed  off,  sidleshomed  via  the subterranean  shored  with  bedboards,  stowed  away  and  ankered in  a  dutch  bottom  tank  the  Arsa,  hod  S,S.  Finlandia,  and  was even  now  occupying,  under  an  islamitic  newhame  in  his  seventh generation,  a  physical  body  Cornelius  Magrath's  (badoldkarak- ter,  commonorrong  canbung)  in  Asia  Major,  where  as  Turk  of the  theater  (first  house  all  flatty:  the  king,  eleven  sharps)  he  had bepiastered  the  buikdanseuses  from  the  opulence  of  his  omni- box  while  as  arab  at  the  streetdoor  he  bepestered  the  bumbashaws for  the  alms  of  a  para's  pence.  Wires  hummed.  Peacefully  general astonishment  assisted  by  regrettitude  had  put  a  term  till  his  exis- tence: he  saw  the  family  saggarth,  resigned,  put  off  his  remain- ders, was  recalled  and  scrapheaped  by  the  Maker.  Chirpings crossed.  An  infamous  private  ailment  (vulgovarioveneral)  had claimed  endright,  closed  his  vicious  circle,  snap.  Jams  jarred. He  had  walked  towards  the  middle  of  an  ornamental  lilypond when  innebriated  up  to  the  point  where  braced  shirts  meet  knic- kerbockers, as  wangfish  daring  the  buoyant  waters,  when  rod- men's  firstaiding  hands  had  rescued  un  from  very  possibly  several feel  of  demifrish  water.  Mush  spread.  On  Umbrella  Street  where he  did  drinks  from  a  pumps  a  kind  of  workman,  Mr  Whitlock, gave  him  a  piece  of  wood.  What  words  of  power  were  made  fas between  them,  ekenames  and  auchnomes,  acnomina  ecnumina? That,  O  that,  did  Hansard  tell  us,  would  gar  ganz  Dub's  ear wag  in  every  pub  of  all  the  citta!  Batty  believes  a  baton  while Hogan  hears  a  hod  yet  Heer  prefers  a  punsil  shapner  and  Cope and  Bull  go  cup  and  ball.  And  the  Cassidy  —  Craddock  rome and  reme  round  e'er  a  wiege  ne'er  a  waage  is  still  immer  and immor  awagering  over  it,  a  cradle  with  a  care  in  it  or  a  casket with  a  kick  behind.  Toties  testies  quoties  questies.  The  war  is in  words  and  the  wood  is  the  world.  Maply  me,  willowy  we, hickory  he  and  yew  yourselves.  Howforliim  chirrupeth  evereach-
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4
I
bird!  From  golddawn  glory  to  glowworm  gleam.  We  were lowquacks  did  we  not  tacit  turn.  Elsewere  there  here  no  con- cern of  the  Guinnesses.  But  only  the  ruining  of  the  rain  has heard.  Estout  pourporteral!  Cracklings  cricked.  A  human  pest cycling  (pist!)  and  recycling  (past!)  about  the  sledgy  streets,  here he  was  (pust!)  again!  Morse  nuisance  noised.  He  was  loose  at large  and  (Oh  baby!)  might  be  anywhere  when  a  disguised  ex- nun,  of  huge  standbuild  and  masculine  manners  in  her  fairly  fat forties,  Carpulenta  Gygasta,  hattracted  hattention  by  harbitrary conduct  with  a  homnibus.  Aerials  buzzed  to  coastal  listeners  of an  oertax  bror  collector's  budget,  fullybigs,  sporran,  tie,  tuft, tabard  and  bloody  antichill  cloak,  its  tailor's  (Baernfather's)  tab reading  V.P.H.,  found  nigh  Scaldbrothar's  Hole,  and  divers shivered  to  think  what  kaind  of  beast,  wolves,  croppis's  or  four- penny  friars,  had  devoured  him.  C.  W.  cast  wide.  Hvidfinns  lyk, drohneth  svertgleam,  Valkir  lockt.  On  his  pinksir's  postern,  the boys  had  it,  at  Whitweekend  had  been  nailed  an  inkedup  name and  title,  inscribed  in  the  national  cursives,  accelerated,  regres- sive, filiform,  turreted  and  envenomoloped  in  piggotry:  Move up.  Mumpty!  Mike  room  for  Rumpty!  By  order,  Nickekellous Plugg;  and  this  go,  no  pentecostal  jest  about  it,  how  gregarious his  race  soever  or  skilful  learned  wise  cunning  knowledgable clear  profound  his  saying  fortitudo  fraught  or  prudentiaproven, were  he  chief,  count,  general,  fieldmarshal,  prince,  king  or  Myles the  Slasher  in  his  person,  with  a  moliamordhar  mansion  in  the Breffnian  empire  and  a  place  of  inauguration  on  the  hill  of  Tully- mongan,  there  had  been  real  murder,  of  the  rayheallach  royghal raxacraxian  variety,  the  MacMahon  chaps,  it  was,  that  had  done him  in.  On  the  fidd  of  Verdor  the  rampart  combatants  had  left him  lion  with  his  dexter  handcoup  wresterected  in  a  pureede paumee  bloody  proper.  Indeed  not  a  few  thick  and  thin  well- wishers,  mostly  of  the  clontarfminded  class,  (Colonel  John  Bawle O'Roarke,  fervxamplus),  even  ventured  so  far  as  to  loan  or  beg copies  of  D.  Blayncy's  trilingual  triweekly,  Scatterbrains'  Aften- ing  Posht,  so  as  to  make  certain  sure  onetime  and  be  satisfied  of their  quasicontribusodalitarian's  having  become  genuinely  quite
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beetly  dead  whether  by  land  whither  by  water.  Transocean atalaclamoured  him;  The  latter!  The  latter!  Shall  their  hope  then be  silent  or  Macfarlane  lack  of  lamentation?  He  lay  under  leagues of  it  in  deep  Bartholoman's  Deep.
Achdung!  Pozor!  Attenshune!  Vikeroy  Besights  Smucky Yung  Pigeschoolies.  Tri  Paisdinernes  Eventyr  Med  Lochlanner Fathach  I  Fiounnisgehaven.  Bannalanna  Bangs  Ballyhooly  Out Of  Her  Buddaree  Of  A  Bullavogue.
But,  their  bright  little  contemporaries  notwithstanding,  on the  morrowing  morn  of  the  suicidal  murder  of  the  unrescued  ex- patriate, aslike  as  asnake  comes  sliduant  down  that  oaktree  onto the  duke  of  beavers,  (you  may  have  seen  some  liquidamber  exude exotic  from  a  balsam  poplar  at  Parteen-a-lax  Limestone.  Road and  cried  Abies  Magnifica!  not,  noble  fir.^)  a  quarter  of  nine, imploring  his  resipiency,  saw  the  infallible  spike  of  smoke's  juts  tiff punctual  from  the  seventh  gable  of  our  Quintus  Centimachus' porphyroid  buttertower  and  then  thirsty  p.m.  with  oaths  upon his  lastingness  {En  caecos  har auspices!  Annos  longos  padmurl)  the lamps  of  maintenance,  beaconsfarafield  innerhalf  the  zuggurat,  all brevetnamed,  the  wasting  wyvern,  the  tawny  of  his  mane,  the swinglowswaying  bluepaw,  the  outstanding  man,  the  lolllike  lady, being  litten  for  the  long  (O  land,  how  long!)  lifesnight,  with suffusion  of  fineglass  transom  and  leadlight  panes.
Wherefore  let  it  hardly  by  any  being  thinking  be  said  either  or thought  that  the  prisoner  of  that  sacred  edifice,  were  he  an  Ivor the  Boneless  or  an  Olaf  the  Hide,  was  at  his  best  a  onestone  par- able, a  rude  breathing  on  the  void  of  to  be,  a  venter  hearing  his own  bauchspeech  in  backwords,  or,  more  strictly,  but  tristurned initials,  the  cluekey  to  a  worldroom  beyond  the  roomwhorld,  for scarce  one,  or  pathetically  few  of  his  dode  canal  sammenlivers cared  seriously  or  for  long  to  doubt  with  Kurt  luld  van  Dijke (the  gravitational  pull  perceived  by  certain  fixed  residents  and the  capture  of  uncertain  comets  chancedrifting  through  our  sys- tem suggesting  an  authenticitatem  of  his  aliquitudinis)  the  canoni- city  of  his  existence  as  a  tesseract.  Be  still,  O  quick!  Speak  him dumb!  Hush  ye  fronds  of  Ulma!
lOO
1
Dispersal  women  wondered.  Was  she  fast?
Dojell  us  all  aboujL_As-^we  want  to  hear  allabout.  So  tellus  tel- las  allabouter.  The  why  or  whether  she  looked  alottylike  like ussies  and  whether  he  had  his  wimdop  like  themses  shut?  Notes and  queries,  tipbids  and  answers,  the  laugh  and  the  shout,  the ards  and  downs.  Now  listed  to  one  aneither  and  liss  them  down and  smoothen  out  your  leaves  of  rose.  The  war  is  o'er.  Wimwim wimwim!  Was  it  Unity  Moore  or  Estella  Swifte  or  Varina  Fay or  Quarta  Quaedam?  Toemaas,  mark  oom  for  yor  ounckel!  Pig- eys,  hold  op  med  yer  leg!  Who,  but  who  (for  second  time  of asking)  was  then  the  scourge  of  the  parts  about  folkrich  Luca- lizod  it  was  wont  to  be  asked,  as,  in  ages  behind  of  the  Homo Capite  Erectus,  what  price  Peabody's  money,  or,  to  put  it bluntly,  whence  is  the  herringtons'  white  cravat,  as,  in  epochs more  cainozoic,  who  struck  Buckley  though  nowadays  as  then- times  every  schoolfilly  of  sevenscore  moons  or  more  who  knows her  intimologies  and  every  colleen  bawl  aroof  and  every  red- flammelwaving  warwife  and  widowpeace  upon  Dublin  Wall  for ever  knows  as  yayas  is  yayas  how  it  was  Buckleyself  (we  need no  blooding  paper  to  tell  it  neither)  who  struck  and  the  Russian generals,  da!  da!,  instead  of  Buckley  who  was  caddishly  struck by  him  when  be  herselves.  What  fullpried  paulpoison  in  the  spy of  three  castles  or  which  hatefilled  smileyseller?  And  that  such a  vetriol  of  venom,  that  queen's  head  affranchisant,  a  quiet  stink- ingplaster  zeal  could  cover,  prepostered  or  postpaid !  The  lounge- lizards  of  the  pumproom  had  their  nine  days'  jeer,  and  pratsch- kats  at  their  platschpails  too  and  holenpolendom  beside,  Szpasz- pas  Szpissmas,  the  zhanyzhonies,  when,  still  believing  in  her owenglass,  when  izarres  were  twinklins,  that  the  upper  reaches of  her  mouthless  face  and  her  impermanent  waves  were  the  better half  of  her,  one  nearer  him,  dearer  than  all,  first  warming  creature of  his  early  morn,  bondwoman  of  the  man  of  the  house,  and murrmurr  of  all  the  mackavicks,  she  who  had  given  his  eye  for her  bed  and  a  tooth  for  a  child  till  one  one  and  one  ten  and  one hundred  again,  O  me  and  O  ye !  cadet  and  prim,  the  hungray  and anngreen  (and  if  she  is  older  now  than  her  teeth  she  has  hair  that
lOI
is  younger  than  thighne,  my  dear!)  she  who  shuttered  him  after his  fall  and  waked  him  widowt  sparing  and  gave  him  keen  and made  him  able  and  held  adazillahs  to  each  arche  of  his  noes,  she who  will  not  rast  her  from  her  running  to  seek  him  till,  with  the help  of  the  okeamic,  some  such  time  that  she  shall  have  been  after hiding  the  crumbends  of  his  enormousness  in  the  areyou  looking- for  Pearlfar  sea,  (ur,  uri,  uria!)  stood  forth,  burnzburn  the  gorg- gony  old  dan  world,  in  gogor's  name,  for  gagar's  sake,  dragging the  countryside  in  her  train,  finickin  here  and  funickin  there, with  her  louisequean's  brogues  and  her  culunder  buzzle  and  her little  bolero  boa  and  all  and  two  times  twenty  curlicornies  for  her headdress,  specks  on  her  eyeux,  and  spudds  on  horeilles  and  a circusfix  riding  her  Parisienne's  cockneze,  a  vaunt  her  straddle from  Equerry  Egon,  when  Tinktink  in  the  churchclose  clinked Steploajazzyma  Sunday,  Sola^  with  pawns,  prelates  and  pookas pelotting  in  her  piecebag,  for  Handiman  the  Chomp,  Esquoro, biskbask,  to  crush  the  slander's  head.
Wery  weeny  wight,  plead  for  Morandmor!  Notre  Dame  de  la Ville^  mercy  of  thy  balmheartzyheat!  Ogrowdnyk's  beyond  her- bata  tay,  wort  of  the  drogist.  Bulk  him  no  bulkis.  And  let  him rest,  thou  wayfarre,  and  take  no  gravespoil  from  him!  Neither mar  his  mound!  The  bane  of  Tut  is  on  it.  Ware!  But  there's  a little  lady  waiting  and  her  name  is  A.L.P.  And  you'll  agree.  She must  be  she.  For  her  holden  heirheaps  hanging  down  her  back. He  spenth  his  strenth  amok  haremscarems.  Poppy  Narancy,  Gial- lia,  Chlora,  Marinka,  Anileen,  Parme.  And  ilk  a  those  dames  had her  rainbow  huemoures  yet  for  whilko  her  whims  but  he  coined  a cure.  TifftifF  today,  kissykissy  tonay  and  agelong  pine  tomauran- na.  Then  who  but  Crippled-with-Children  would  speak  up  for Dropping- with-Sweat?
Sold  him  her  lease  of  ninenmeninetee^ Tresses  undresses  so  dyedyedaintee^ Goo^  the  groot  gudgeon^  gulped  it  alL Hoc  was  the  C.  0.  DJ
Bum!
I02
At  Island  Bridge  she  met  her  tide. Attahom^  attahom^  attahomhomhoom! The  Fin  had  a  flux  and  his  Ehha  a  ride. Attahom^  attahom^  attahomhomhoom! We  re  all  up  to  the  years  in  hues  and  crihies. That's  what  she  s  done  for  wee!
Woe!
Nomad  may  roam  with  Nabuch  but  let  naaman  laugh  at  Jor- dan !  For  we,  we  have  taken  our  sheet  upon  her  stones  where  we have  hanged  our  hearts  in  her  trees;  and  we  list,  as  she  bibs  us, by  the  waters  of  babalong.
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In  the  name  of  Annah  the  Allmaziful,  the  Everliving,  the Bringer  of  Plurabilities,  haloed  be  her  eve,  her  singtime  sung,  her rill  be  run,  unhemmed  as  it  is  uneven !
Her  untitled  mamafesta  memorialising  the  Mosthighest  has gone  by  many  names  at  disjointed  times.  Thus  we  hear  of.  The Augusta  Angus tissimost  for  Old  Seabeastius'  Salvation,  Rockabill Booby  in  the  Wave  Trough,  Here's  to  the  Relicts  of  All  Decencies^ Anna  Stessas  Rise  to  Notice^  Knickle  Down  Duddy  Gunne  and Arishe  Sir  Cannon^  My  Golden  One  and  My  Selver  Weddings Amoury  Treestam  and  Icy  Siseule^  Saith  a  Sawyer  til  a  Strame^  Ik dik  dopedope  et  tu  mihimihi^  Buy  Birthplate  for  a  Bite,  Which  of your  Hesterdays  Mean  Ye  to  Morra?  Hoehegunne  the  Hebrewer Hit  Waterman  the  Brayned,  Arcs  in  His  Ceiling  Flee  Chinx  on  the Flur,  Rebus  de  Hibernicis,  The  Crazier  Letters,  Groans  of  a  Briton- ess,  Peter  Peopler  Picked  a  Plot  to  Pitch  his  Poppolin,  An  Apology for  a  Big  (some  such  nonoun  as  Husband  or  husboat  or  hose- bound  is  probably  understood  for  we  have  also  the  plutherple- thoric  My  Hoonsbood  Hansbaad's  a  Journey  to  Porthergill  gone and  He  Never  Has  the  Hour),  Ought  We  To  Visit  Him!*  For  Ark see  Zoo,  Cleopaters  Nedlework  Picturing  Aldborougham  on  the Sahara  with  the  Coombing  of  the  Cammmels  and  the  Parlourmaids of  Aegypt,  Cock  in  the  Pot  for  Father,  Placeat  Vestrae,  A  New Cure  for  an  Old  Clap,  Where  Portentos  they'd  Grow  Gonder  how Vd  Wish  I  Woose  a  Geese;  Gettle  Nettie,  Thrust  him  not.  When  the
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J
Myrtles  of  Venice  Played  to  Bloccuss  Line^  To  Plenge  Me  High He  Waives  Chiltern  on  Friends^  Oremunds  Queue  Visits  Amen Marty  E'en  Tho'  I  Granny  a-be  He  would  Fain  Me  Cuddle^  Twenty of  Chambers,  Weighty  Ten  Beds  and  a  Wan  Ceteroom^  I  Led  the Life^  Through  the  Boxer  Coxer  Rising  in  the  House  with  the  Golden Stairs^  The  Following  Fork,  Hes  my  0' Jerusalem  and  Vm  his Po^  The  Best  in  the  West^  By  the  Stream  of  Zemiem  under  Zig- lag  Hill,  The  Man  That  Made  His  Mother  in  the  Marlborry Train^  Try  Our  Taal  on  a  Taub^  The  Log  of  Anny  to  the  Base All,  Nopper  Tipped  a  Nappiwenk  to  his  Notylytl Dantsigirls^  Prs^ss Orel  Orel  the  King  of  Orlhrds^^  Intimier  Minnelisp  of  an  Extor- reor  Monolothe^  Drink  to  Him^  My  Juckey^  and  Dhoult  Bemine Thy  Winnowing  Sheet,  I  Ask  You  to  Believe  I  was  his  Mistress, He  Can  Explain^  From  Victrolia  Nuancee  to  Allhart  Noahnsy^ Das  a  Daisy  so  Guimea  your  Handsel  too.  What  Barbaras  Done to  a  Barrel  Organ  Before  the  Rank^  Tank  and  Bonnbtail^  Huskvy Admortal^  What  Jumbo  made  to  Jalice  and  what  Anisette  to  Him^ Ophelia! s  Culpreints^  Hear  Hubty  Hublin^  My  Old  Dansh^  I  am Older  northe  Rogues  among  Whisht  I  Slips  and  He  Calls  Me  his Dual  of  Ayessha^  Suppotes  a  Ventriliquorst  Merries  a  Corpse^ Lapps  for  Finns  This  Funnycoons  Week,  How  the  Buckling  Shut at  Rush  in  January^  Look  to  the  Lady^  From  the  Rise  of  the Dudge  Pupublick  to  the  Fall  of  the  Potstille^  Of  the  Two  Ways of  Opening  the  Mouth,  I  have  not  Stopped  Water  Where  It  Should Flow  and  I  Know  the  Twentynine  Names  of  Attraente^  The  Tor  tor of  Tory  Island  Traits  Galasia  like  his  Milchcow,  From  Abbeygate to  Crowalley  Through  a  Lift  in  the  Lude,  Smocks  for  Their  Graces and  Me  Aunt  for  Them  Clodshoppers^  How  to  Pull  a  Good  Horus- coup  even  when  Oldsire  is  Dead  to  the  World,  Inn  the  Gleam  of Waherlow,  Fathe  Hes  Sukceded  to  My  Esperations^  Thee  Steps Forward,  Two  Stops  Back,  My  Skin  Appeals  to  Three  Senses  and My  Curly  Lips  Demand  Columbkisses;  Gage  Street  on  a  Cranys Savings^  Them  Lads  made  a  Trion  of  Battlewatschers  and  They Totties  a  Doeit  of  Deers^  In  My  Lord's  Bed  by  One  Whore  Went Through  It,  Mum  It  is  All  Over,  Cowpoyride  by  Twelve  Acre  Ter- riss  in  the  Unique  Estates  of  Amessican^  He  Gave  me  a  Thou  so  I
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serve  Him  with  Thee,  Of  all  the  Wide  Torsos  in  all  the  Wild  Glen, O'Donoghj  White  Donogh,  He  s  Hue  to  Me  Cry,  I'm  the  Stitch in  his  Baskside  Youd  be  Nought  Without  Mom,  To  Keep  the Huskies  off  the  Hustings  and  Picture  Pets  from  Lifting  Shops,  Nor- sker  Torsker  Find  the  Poddle,  He  Perssed  Me  Here  with  the  Ardour of  a  Tonnohurkes^  A  Booh  Was  Weeping  This  Mower  was  Reaping^ O^Loughlin,  Up  from  the  Pit  of  my  Stomach  I  Swish  you  the  White of  the  Mournings  Inglo- Andean  Medoleys  from  Tommany  Moohr, The  Great  Polynesional  Entertrainer  Exhibits  Ballantine  Braut- chers  with  the  Link  of  Natures^  The  Mimic  of  Meg  Neg  and the  Mackeys,  Entered  as  the  Lastest  Pigtarial  and  My  Pooridiocal at  Stitchioners  Hall,  Siegfield  Follies  and  or  a  Gentlehomme  s  Faut Pas^  See  the  First  Book  of  Jealesies  Pessim^  The  Suspended  Sen- tence^ A  Pretty  Brick  Story  for  Childsiie  Heroes^  As  Lo  Our  Sleep, I  Knew  Vd  Got  it  in  Me  so  Thit  settles  That,  Thonderbalt  Captain Smeth  and  La  Belle  Sauvage  Pocahonteuse^  Way  for  Wet  Week Welikins  Douchka  Marianne^  The  Last  of  the  Fingallians^  It  Was Me  Egged  Him  on  to  the  Stork  Exchange  and  Lent  my  Dutiful Face  to  His  Customs^  Chee  Chee  Cheels  on  their  China  Miction^ Pickedmeup  Peters^  Lumptytumtumpty  had  a  Big  Fall^  Pimpimp Pimpimp^  Measly  Ventures  of  Two  Lice  and  the  Fall  of  Fruit, The  Pokes  Family  Interior^  If  my  Spreadeagles  Wasnt  so  Tight Pd  Loosen  my  Cursits  on  that  Bunch  of  Maggiestraps^  Allolosha Popofetts  and  Howke  Cotchme  Eye^  Seen  Aples  and  Thin  Dyed, i  big  U  to  B  cleaves  from  Love  and  Mother,  Fines  Fault  was  no Felon^  Exat  Delvin  Renter  Life^  The  Flash  that  Flies  from  Vuggys Eyes  has  Set  Me  Hair  On  Fire^  His  is  the  House  that  Malt  Made, Divine  Views  from  Back  to  the  Front,  Abe  to  Sare  Stood  Icyk Neuter  till  Brahm  Taulked  Him  Common  Sex^  A  Nibble  at  Eve Will  That  Bowal  Relieve,  Allfor  Guineas,  Sounds  and  Compliments Libidous,  Seven  Wives  Awake  Aweek^  -^i^y  -^^^  Berber  Blut^ Amy  Licks  Porter  While  Huffy  Chops  Eads,  Abbrace  of  Umbellas or  a  T ripple  of  Caines^  Buttbutterbust^  From  the  Manor  lord  Hoved to  the  Misses  O' Mollies  and  from  the  Dames  to  their  Sames,  Many- festoons  for  the  Colleagues  on  the  Green,  An  Outstanding  Back  and an  Excellent  Halfcentre  if  Called  on.  As  Tree  is  Quick  and  Stone  is
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Whiu  So  is  My  Washing  Done  by  Night,  First  and  Last  Only True  Account  all  about  the  Honorary  Mirsu  Earwicker,  L.S.D., and  the  Snake  {Nuggets/)  by  a  Woman  of  the  World  who  only  can Tell  Naked  Truths  about  a  Dear  Man  and  all  his  Conspirators  how they  all  Tried  to  Fall  him  Putting  it  all  around  Lucaliiod  about Privates  Earwicker  and  a  Pair  of  Sloppy  Sluts  plainly  Showing  all the  Unmentionability  falsely  Accusing  about  the  Raincoats,
The  proteiform  graph  itself  is  a  polyhedron  of  scripture. There  was  a  time  when  naif  alphabetters  would  have  written  it down  the  tracing  of  a  purely  deliquescent  recidivist,  possibly ambidextrous,  snubnosed  probably  and  presenting  a  strangely profound  rainbowl  in  his  (or  her)  occiput.  To  the  hardily  curio- sing  entomophilust  then  it  has  shown  a  very  sexmosaic  of  nym- phosis  in  which  the  eternal  chimerahunter  Oriolopos,  now  frond of  sugars,  then  lief  of  saults,  the  sensory j:rowd  in  his  belly  X coupled  with  an  eye  for  the  goods  trooth  bewilderblissed  by their  night  effluvia  with  guns  like  drums  and  fondlers  like  forceps persequestellates  his  vanessas  from  flore  to  flore.  Somehows  this sounds  like  the  purest  kidooleyoon  wherein  our  mademacerution of  lour  lore  is  rich.  All's  so  herou  from  us  him  in  a  kitchernott darkness,  by  hasard  and  worn  rolls  arered,  we  must  grope  on  till Zerogh  hour  like  pou  owl  giaours  as  we  are  would  we  salve  aught of  moments  for  our  aysore  today.  Amousin  though  not  but.  Closer inspection  of  the  bordereau  would  reveal  a  multiplicity  of  person- alities inflicted  on  the  documents  or  document  and  some  prevision of  virtual  crime  or  crimes  might  be  made  by  anyone  unwary enough  before  any  suitable  occasion  for  it  or  them  had  so  far managed  to  happen  along.  In  fact,  under  the  closed  eyes  of  the  in- spectors the  traits  featuring  the  chiaroscuro  coalesce,  their  con- trarieties eliminated,  in  one  stable  somebody  similarly  as  by  the providential  warring  of  heartshaker  with  housebreaker  and  of dramdrinker  against  freethinker  our  social  something  bowls  along bumpily,  experiencing  a  jolting  series  of  prearranged  disappoint- ments, down  the  long  lane  of  (it's  as  semper  as  oxhousehumper!) generations,  more  generations  and  still  more  generations.
Say,  baroun  lousadoor,  who  in  hallhagal  wrote  the  durn  thing
107
anyhow?  Erect,  beseated,  mountback,  against  a  partywall,  below freezigrade,  by  the  use  of  quill  or  style,  with  turbid  or  pellucid mind,  accompanied  or  the  reverse  by  mastication,  interrupted by  visit  of  seer  to  scribe  or  of  scribe  to  site,  atwixt  two  showers or  atosst  of  a  trike,  rained  upon  or  blown  around,  by  a  right- down  regular  racer  from  the  soil  or  by  a  too  pained  whittlewit laden  with  the  loot  of  learning?
Now,  patience;  and  remember  patience  is  the  great  thing,  and above  all  things  else  we  must  avoid  anything  like  being  or  be- coming out  of  patience.  A  good  plan  used  by  worried  business folk  who  may  not  have  had  many  momentums  to  master  Kung's doctrine  of  the  meang  or  the  propriety  codestruces  of  Carpri- mustimus  is  just  to  think  of  all  the  sinking  fund  of  patience  pos- sessed in  their  conjoint  names  by  both  brothers  Bruce  with  whom are  incorporated  their  Scotch  spider  and  Elberfeld's  Calculating Horses.  If  after  years  upon  years  of  delving  in  ditches  dark  one tubthumper  more  than  others,  Kinihoun  or  Kahanan,  giardarner or  mear  measenmanonger,  has  got  up  for  the  darnall  same  pur- pose of  reassuring  us  with  all  the  barbar  of  the  Carrageehouse that  our  great  ascendant  was  properly  speaking  three  syllables less  than  his  own  surname  (yes,  yes,  less!),  that  the  ear  of  Fionn Earwicker  aforetime  was  the  trademark  of  a  broadcaster  with wicker  local  jargon  for  an  ace's  patent  (Hear!  Calls!  Everywhair!) then  as  to  this  radiooscillating  epiepistle  to  which,  cotton,  silk  or samite,  kohol,  gall  or  brickdust,  we  must  ceaselessly  return,  where- abouts exactly  at  present  in  Siam,  Hell  or  Tophet  under  that glorisol  which  plays  touraloup  with  us  in  this  Aludin's  Cove  of our  cagacity  is  that  bright  soandsuch  to  slip  us  the  dinkum  oil?
Naysayers  we  know.  To  conclude  purely  negatively  from  the positive  absence  of  political  odia  and  monetary  requests  that  its page  cannot  ever  have  been  a  penproduct  of  a  man  or  woman  of that  period  or  those  parts  is  only  one  more  unlookedfor  conclu- sion leaped  at,  being  tantamount  to  inferring  from  the  nonpre- sence  of  inverted  commas  (sometimes  called  quotation  marks) on  any  page  that  its  author  was  always  constitutionally  incapable of  misappropriating  the  spoken  words  of  others.
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Luckily  there  is  another  cant  to  the  questy.  Has  any  fellow,  of the  dime  a  dozen  type,  it  might  with  some  profit  some  dull  even- ing quietly  be  hinted  —  has  any  usual  sort  of  ornery  josser,  flat- chested  fortyish,  faintly  flatulent  and  given  to  ratiocination  by  t  v syncopation  in  the  elucidation  of  complications,  of  his  greatest Fung  Yang  dynasdescendanced,  only  another  the  son  of,  in  fact, ever^looked  sufficiently  longly  at  a  quite  everydaylooldng  stamped addressed  envelope?  Admittedly  it  is  an  outer  husk:  its  face,  in all  its  featureful  perfection  of  imperfection,  is  its  fortune:  it  ex- hibits only  the  civil  or  military  clothing  of  whatever  passion- pallid  nudity  or  plaguepurple  nakedness  may  happen  to  tuck  it- self under  its  flap.  Yet  to  concentrate  solely  on  the  literal  sense  or  ^  3 even  the  psychological  content  of  any  document  to  the  sore neglect  of  the  enveloping  facts  themselves  circumstantiating  it  is just  as  hurtful  to  sound  sense  (and  let  it  be  added  to  the  truest  j taste)  as  were  some  fellow  in  the  act  of  perhaps  getting  an  intro from  another  fellow  turning  out  to  be  a  friend  in  need  of  his,  say, to  a  lady  of  the  latter's  acquaintance,  engaged  in  performing  the elaborative  antecistral  ceremony  of  upstheres,  straightaway  to  run off*  and  vision  her  plump  and  plain  in  her  natural  altogether,  pre- ferring to  close  his  blinkhard's  eyes  to  the  ethiquethical  fact  that she  was,  after  all,  wearing  for  the  space  of  the  time  being  some definite  articles  of  evolutionary  clothing,  inharmonious  creations, a  captious  critic  might  describe  them  as,  or  not  strictly  necessary or  a  trifle  irritating  here  and  there,  but  for  all  that  suddenly  full of  local  colour  and  personal  perfume  and  suggestive,  too,  of  so very  much  more  and  capable  of  being  stretched,  filled  out,  if  need or  wish  were,  of  having  their  surprisingly  Uke  coincidental  parts separated  don't  they  now,  for  better  survey  by  the  deft  hand  of an  expert,  don't  you  know?  Who  in  his  heart  doubts  either  that~^ the  facts  of  feminine  clothiering  are  there  all  the  time  or  that  the feminine  fiction,  stranger  than  the  facts,  is  there  also  at  the  same time,  only  a  little  to  the  rere?  Or  that  one  may  be  separated  from the  other?  Or  that  both  may  then  be  contemplated  simultaneously? Or  that  each  may  be  taken  up  and  considered  in  turn  apart  from the  other?  _j
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Here  let  a  few  artifacts  fend  in  their  own  favour.  The  river  felt ^  she  wanted  salt.  That  was  just  where  Brien  came  in.  The  country- asked  for  bearspaw  for  dindin !  And  boundin  aboundin  it  got  it surly.  We  who  live  under  heaven,  we  of  the  clovery  kingdom, we  middlesins  people  have  often  watched  the  sky  overreaching the  land.  We  suddenly  have.  Our  isle  is  Sainge.  The  place.  That ^  stern  chuckler  Mayhappy  Mayhapnot,  once  said  to  repeation
in  that  lutran  conservatory  way  of  his  that  Isitachapel-Asitalukin was  the  one  place,  ult  aut  nult^  in  this  madh  vaal  of  tares  (whose verdhure's  yellowed  therever  Phaiton  parks  his  car  while  its tamelised  tay  is  the  drame  of  Drainophilias)  where  the  possible was  the  improbable  and  the  improbable  the  inevitable.  If  the  pro- verbial bishop  of  our  holy  and  undivided  with  this  me  ken  or  no f^\.<^^'  me  ken  Zot  is  the  Quiztune  havvernjgshed  had  his  twoe  nails ^  on  the  head  we  are  in  for  a  sequentiality_  of  improbable  possibles though  possibly  nobody  after  having  grubbed  up  a  lock  of  cwold cworn  aboove  his  subject  probably  in  Harrystotalies  or  the  vivle will  go  out  of  his  way  to  applaud  him  on  the  onboiassed  back  of his  remark  for  utterly  impossible  as  are  all  these  events  they  are probably  as  like  those  which  may  have  taken  place  as  any  others which  never  took  person  at  all  are  ever  likely  to  be.  Ahahn!
About  that  originaLhen.  Midwinter  (frujir  or  kuur?)  was  in  the offing  and  Premver  a  promise  of  a  pril  when,  as  kischabrigies  sang life's  old  sahatsong,  an  iceclad  shiverer,  merest  of  bantlings  ob- /  served  a  cold  fowl  behaviourising  strangely  on  that  fatal  midden or  chip  factory  or  comicalbottomed  copsjute  (dump  for  short) afterwards  changed  into  the  orangery  when  in  the  course  of deeper  demolition  unexpectedly  one  bushman's  holiday  its  limon threw  up  a  few  spontaneous  fragments  of  orangepeel,  the  last remains  of  an  outdoor  meal  by  some  unknown  sunseeker  or  place- hider  illico  way  back  in  his  mistridden  past.  What  child  of  a  strand- /jiK^"^^  looper  but  keepy  little  Kevin  in  the  despondful  surrounding  of such  sneezing  cold  would  ever  have  trouved  up  on  a  strate  that was  called  strete  a  motive  for  future  saintity  by  euchring  the finding  of  the  Ardagh  chalice  by  another  heily  innocent  and beachwalker  whilst  trying  with  pious  clamour  to  wheedle  Tip-
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r  *
peraw  raw  raw  reeraw  puteters  out  of  Now  Sealand  in  spignt of  the  patchpurple  of  the  massacre,  a  dual  a  duel  to  die  to day,  goddam  and  biggod,  sticks  and  stanks,  of  most  of  the Jacobiters.
The  bird  in  the  case  was  Bdgjda  of  the  Dorans,  a  more  than quinquegintarian  (Terziis  prize  with  Serni  medal,  Cheepalizzy's Hane  Exposition)  and  what  she  was  scratching  at  the  hour  of klokking  twelve  looked  for  all  this  zogzag  world  like  a  goodish- sized  sheet  of  letterpaper  originating  by  transhipt  from  Boston (Mass.)  of  the  last  of  the  first  to  Dear  whom  it  proceded  to mention  Maggy  well  &  allathome's  health  well  only  the  hate turned  the  mild  on  the  van  Houtens  and  the  general's  elections with  a  lovely  face  of  some  born  gentleman  with  a  beautiful  present of  wedding  cakes  for  dear  thankyou  Chriesty  and  with  grand funferall  of  poor  Father  Michael  don't  forget  unto  life's  &  Muggy well  how  are  you  Maggy  &:  hopes  soon  to  hear  well  &  must  now close  it  with  fondest  to  the  twoinns  with  four  crosskisses  for  holy paul  holey  corner  holipoli  whollyisland  pee  ess  from  (locust  may eat  all  but  this  sign  shall  they  never)  affectionate  largelooking tache  of  tch.  The  stain,  and  that  a  teastain  (the  overcautelousness  ^ of  the  masterbilker  here,  as  usual,  signing  the  page  away),  marked it  off  on  the  spout  of  the  moment  as  a  genuine  relique  of  ancient Irish  pleasant  pottery  of  that  lydialike  languishing  class  known  as a  hurry-me-o'er-the-hazy.  it^€7o%'     ~^  '^^i:^^
Why  then  how?  fi-^^^^ Well,  almost  any  photgist  worth  his  chemicots  will  tip  anyone  U  ^ asking  him  the  teaser  that  if  a  negative  of  a  horse  happens  to  melt enough  while  drying,  well,  what  you  do  get  is,  well,  a  positively grotesquely  distorted  macromass  of  all  sorts  of  horsehappy  values and  masses  of  meltwhile  horse.  Tip.  Well,  this  freely  is  what must  have  occurred  to  our  missive  (there's  a  sod  of  a  turb  for you!  please  wisp  off  the  grass!)  unhlthed  from  the  boucher  by the  sagacity  of  a  lookmelittle  likemelong  hen.  Heated  residence in  the  heart  of  the  qrangeflavoured  mudmound  had  partly  ob- literated the  negative  to  start  with,  causing  some  features  pal- pably nearer  your  pecker  to  be  swollen  up  most  grossly  while
III
the  farther  back  we  manage  to  wiggle  the  more  we  need  the  loan of  a  lens  to  see  as  much  as  the  hen  saw.  Tip.
You  is  feeling  like  you  was  lost  in  the  bush,  boy.^  You  says: It  is  a  puling  sample  jungle  of  woods.  You  most  shouts  out: Bethicket  me  for  a  stump  of  a  beech  if  I  have  the  poultriest  no- tions what  the  farest  he  all  means.  Gee  up,  girly!  The  quad  gos- pellers may  own  the  targum  but  any  of  the  Zingari  shoolerim may  pick  a  peck  of  kindlings  yet  from  the  sack  of  auld  hensyne.
Lead,  kindly  fowl!  They  always  did:  ask  the  ages.  What  bird- has  done  yesterday  man  may  do  next  year,  be  it  fly,  be  it  moult, be  it  hatch,  be  it  agreement  in  the  nest.  For  her  socioscientific sense  is  sound  as  a  bell,  sir,  her  volucrine  automutativeness  right on  normalcy:  she  knows,  she  just  feels  she  was  kind  of  born  to lay  and  love  eggs  (trust  her  to  propagate  the  species  and  hoosh her  fluff  balls  safe  through  din  and  danger!);  lastly  but  mostly,  in her  genesic  field  it  is  all  game  and  no  gammon;  she  is  ladylike  in everything  she  does  and  plays  the  gentleman's  part  every  time. Let  us  auspice  it!  Yes,  before  all  this  has  time  to  end  the  golden age  must  return  with  its  vengeance.  Man  will  become  dirjgible. Ague  will  be  rejuvenated,  woman  with  her  ridiculous  white  bur- den will  reach  by  one  step  sublime  incubation,  the  manewanting human  lioness  with  her  dishorned  discipular  manram  will  lie down  together  publicly  flank  upon  fleece.  No,  assuredly,  they  are not  justified,  those  gloompourers  who  grouse  that  letters  have never  been  quite  their  old  selves  again  since  that  weird  weekday in  bleak  Janiveer  (yet  how  palmy  date  in  a  waste's  oasis!)  when to  the  shock  of  both,  Biddy  Doran  looked  at  literature.
And.  She  may  be  a  mere  marcella,  this  midget  madgetcy, Misthress  of  Arths.  But.  It  is  not  a  hear  or  say  of  some  anomo- rous  letter,  signed  Toga  GiriHs,  (teasy  dear).  We  have  a  cop  of her  fist  right  against  our  nosibos.  We  note  the  paper  with  her jotty  young  watermark:  Notre  Dame  du  Bon  Marche,  And  she has  a  heart  of  Arin!  What  lumililts  as  she  fols  with  her  falli- mineers  and  her  nadianods.  As  a  strow  will  shaw  she  does  the wind  blague,  recting  to  show  the  rudess  of  a  robur  curling  and shewing  the  fansaties  of  a  frizette.  But  how  many  of  her  readers
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^^^^^
/
5r
realise  that  she  is  not  out  to  dizzledazzle  with  a  graith  uncouthre- ment  of  postmantuam  glasseries  from  the  lapins  and  the  grigs. Nuttings  on  her  wilelife!  Grabar  gooden  grandy  for  old  almea- nium  adamologists  like  Dariaumaurius  and  Zovotrimaserov- meravmerouvian;  (dmzn!);  she  feel  plain  plate  one  flat  fact  thing and  if,  lastways  firdstwise,  a  man  alones  sine  anyon  anyons utharas  has  no  rates  to  done  a  kik  at  with  anyon  anakars  about tutus  milking  fores  and  the  rereres  on  the  outerrand  asikin  the tutus  to  be  forrarder.  Thingcrooklyexineverypasturesixdix -. likencehimaroundhersthemaggerbykinkinkankanwithdownmind- lookingated.  Mesdaims,  Marmouselles,  Mescerfs!  Silvapais!  All schwants  (schwrites)  ischt  tell  the  cock's  trootabout  him.  Ka- pak  kapuk.  No  minzies  matter.  He  had  to  see  life  foully  the  ^ plak  and  the  smut,  (schwrites).  There  were  three  men  in  him (schwrites).  Dancings  (schwrites)  was  his  only  ttoo  feebles. With  apple  harlottes.  And  a  little  mollvogels.  Spissially  (schwrites)  ^  ^ when  they  peaches.  Honeys  wore  camelia  paints.  Yours  very truthful.  Add  dapple  inn.  Yet  is  it  but  an  old  story,  the  tale  of a  Treestone  with  one  Ysold,  of  a  Mons  held  by  tentpegs  and  his pal  whathploosed  on  the  run,  what  Cadman  could  but  Badman wouldn't,  any  Genoaman  against  any  Venis,  and  why  Kate  takes cjiarge  of  the  waxworks.  .  .
Let  us  now,  weather,  health,  dangers,  public  orders  and  other circumstances  permitting,  of  perfectly  convenient,  if  you  police, after  you,  policepolice,  pardoning  mein,  ich  beam  so  fresch,  bey? drop  this  jiggerypokery  and  talk  straight  turkey  meet  to  mate,  for while  the  ear,  be  we  mikealls  or  nicholists,  may  sometimes  be  in- clined to  believe  others  the  eye,  whether  browned  or  nolensed, And  it  devilish  hard  now  and  again  even  to  believe  itself.  Habes aures  et  num  videbisF  Habes  oculos  ac  mannepalpabuat?  Tip  1  Draw- ing nearer  to  take  our  slant  at  it  (since  after  all  it  has  met  with misfortune  while  all  underground),  let  us  see  all  there  may  remain to  be  seen.
I  am  a  worker,  a  tombstone  mason,  anxious  to  pleace  avery- buries  and  jully  glad  when  Christmas  comes  his  once  ayear.  You are  a  poorjoist,  unctuous  to  polise  nopebobbies  and  tunnibelly
"3
^^^^
■V.
soully  when  'tis  thime  took  o'er  home,  gin.  We  cannot  say  aye to  aye.  We  cannot  smile  noes  from  noes.  Stijl.  One  cannot  help noticing  that  rather  more  than  half  of  the  lines  run  north-south in  the  Nemzes  and  Bukarahast  directions  while  the  others  go west-east  in  search  from  Maliziies  with  Bulgarad  for,  tiny  tot though  it  looks  when  schtschupnistling  alongside  other  incuna- bula, it  has  its  cardinal  points  for  all  that.  These  ruled  barriers along  which  the  traced  words,  run,  march,  halt,  walk,  stumble at  doubtful  points,  stumble  up  again  in  comparative  safety  seem to  have  been  drawn  first  of  all  in  a  pretty  checker  with  lamp- black and  blackthorn.  Such  crossing  is  antechristian  of  course, but  the  use  of  the  homeborn  shillelagh  as  an  aid  to  calligraphy shows  a  distinct  advance  from  savagery  to  barbarism.  It  is seriously  believed  by  some  that  the  intention  may  have  been, geodetic,  or,  in  the  view  of  the  cannier,  domestic  economical. But  by  writing  thithaways  end  to  end  and  turning,  turning  and end  to  end  hithaways  writing  and  with  lines  of  litters  slittering up  and  louds  of  latters  slettering  down,  the  old  semetomyplace and  jupetbackagain  from  tham  Let  Rise  till  Hum  Lit.  Sleep, where  in  the  waste  is  the  wisdom.'^
Another  point,  in  addition  to  the  original  sand,  pounce  pow- der, drunkard  paper  or  soft  rag  used  (any  vet  or  inhanger  in ous  sot's  social  can  see  the  seen  for  seemself,  a  wee  ftofty  od room,  the  cheery  spluttered  on  the  one  karrig,  a  darka  disheen of  voos  from  Dalbania,  any  gotsquantity  of  racky,  a  portogal and  some  buk  setting  out  on  the  sofer,  you  remember  the sort  of  Softball  sucker  motru  used  to  tell  us  when  we  were  all biribiyas  or  nippies  and  messas)  it  has  acquired  accretions  of terricious  matter  whilst  loitering  in  the  past.  The  teatimestained terminal  (say  not  the  tag,  mummer,  or  our  show's  a  failure!)  is  a cosy  little  brown  study  all  to  oneself  and,  whether  it  be  thumb- print, mademark  or  just  a  poor  trait  of  the  artless,  its  importance in  establishing  the  identities  in  the  writer  complexus  (for  if  the hand  was  one,  the  minds  of  active  and  agitated  were  more  than so)  will  be  best  appreciated  by  never  forgetting  that  both  before and  after  the  battle  of  the  Boyne  it  was  a  habit  not  to  sign  letters
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always.  Tip.  And  it  is  surely  a  lesser  ignorance  to  write  a  word with  every  consonant  too  few  than  to  add  all  too  many.  The end.^  Say  it  with  missiles  then  and  thus  arabesque  the  page.  You have  your  cup  of  scalding  Souchong,  your  taper's  waxen  drop, your  cat's  paw,  the  clove  or  coffinnail  you  chewed  or  champed as  you  worded  it,  your  lark  in  clear  air.  So  why,  pray,  sign  any- thing as  long  as  every  word,  letter,  penstroke,  paperspace  is  a perfect  signature  of  its  own.^  A  true  friend  is  known  much  more easily,  and  better  into  the  bargain,  by  his  personal  touch,  habits of  full  or  undress,  movements,  response  to  appeals  for  charity than  by  his  footwear,  say.  And,  speaking  anent  Tiberias  and  other incestuish  salacities  among  gerontophils,  a  word  of  warning about  the  tenderloined  passion  hinted  at.  Some  softnosed  per- user might  mayhem  take  it  up  erogenously  as  the  usual  case  of spoons^ pros tituta  in  herba  plus  dinky  pinks  deliberatively  summer- saulting off  her  bisexycle,  at  the  main  entrance  of  curate's  per- petual soutane  suit  with  her  one  to  see  and  awoh!  who  picks  her up  as  gingerly  as  any  balmbearer  would  to  feel  whereupon  the virgin  was  most  hurt  and  nicely  asking:  whyre  have  you  been  so grace  a  mauling  and  where  were  you  chaste  me  child.'^  Be  who, farther  potential.'^  and  so  wider  but  we  grisly  old  Sykos  who  have done  our  unsmiling  bit  on  'alices,  when  they  were  yung  and easily  freudened,  in  the  penumbra  of  the  procuring  room  and what  oracular  comepression  we  have  had  apply  to  them!  could (did  we  care  to  sell  our  feebought  silence  in  camera)  tell  our  very moistnostrilled  one  that  father  in  such  virgated  contexts  is  not always  that  undemonstrative  relative  (often  held  up  to  our  con- tumacy) who  settles  our  hashbill  for  us  and  what  an  innocent  all- abroad's  adverb  such  as  Michaelly  looks  like  can  be  suggestive of  under  the  pudendascope  and,  finally,  what  a  neurasthene  nym- pholept,  endocrine-pineal  typus,  of  inverted  parentage  with  a prepossessing  drauma  present  in  her  past  and  a  priapic  urge  for congress  with  agnates  before  cognates  fundamentally  is  feeling for  under  her  lubricitous  meiosis  when  she  refers  with  liking  to some  feeler  she  fancie's  face.  And  Mm.  We  could.  Yet  what  need to  say.'^  'Tis  as  human  a  little  story  as  paper  could  well  carry,  in
"5
affect,  as  singsing  so  Salaman  susuing  to  swittvitles  while  as  un- bluffingly  blurtubruskblunt  as  an  Esra,  the  cat,  the  cat's  meeter, the  meeter's  cat's  wife,  the  meeter's  cat's  wife's  half  better,  the meeter's  cat's  wife's  half  better's  meeter,  and  so  back  to  our horses,  for  we  also  know,  what  we  have  perused  from  the  pages of  /  IVas  A  Gemral^  that  Showting  up  of  Bulsklivism  by  *Schot- tenboum',  that  Father  Michael  about  this  red  time  of  the  white terror  equals  the  old  regime  and  Margaret  is  the  social  revolution while  cakes  mean  the  party  funds  and  dear  thank  you  signifies national  gratitude.  In  fine,  we  have  heard,  as  it  happened,  of Spartacus  intercellular.  We  are  not  corknered  yet,  dead  hand! We  can  recall,  with  voluntears,  the  froggy  jew,  and  sweeter  far 'twere  now  westhinks  in  Dumbil's  fair  city  ere  one  more  year  is o'er.  We  tourned  our  coasts  to  the  good  gay  tunes.  When  from down  swords  the  sea  merged  the  oldowth  guns  and  answer  made the  bold  O'  Dwyer.  But.  Est  modest  in  verbos.  Let  a  prostitute be  whoso  stands  before  a  door  and  winks  or  parks  herself  in  the fornix  near  a  makeussin  wall  (sinsin!  sinsin!)  and  the  curate  one who  brings  strong  waters  (gingin!  gingin!),  but  also,  and  dinna forget,  that  there  is  many  asleeps  between  someathome's  first and  moreinausland's  last  and  that  the  beautiful  presence  of  wait- ing kates  will  until  life's  (!)  be  more  than  enough  to  make  any milkmike  in  the  language  of  sweet  tarts  punch  hell's  hate  into  his twin  nicky  and  that  Maggy's  tea,  or  your  majesty,  if  heard  as  a boost  from  a  born  gentleman  is  (?).  For  if  the  lingo  gasped  between kicksheets,  however  basically  English,  were  to  be  preached  from the  mouths  of  wickerchurchwardens  and  metaphysicians  in  the row  and  advokaatoes,  allvoyous,  demivoyelles,  languoaths,  les- biels,  dentelles,  gutterhowls  and  furtz,  where  would  their  prac- tice be  or  where  the  human  race  itself  were  the  Pythagorean  ses- quipedalia  of  the  panepistemion,  however  apically  Volapucky, grunted  and  gromwelled,  ichabod,  habakuk,  opanoff,  uggamyg, hapaxle,  gomenon,  ppppfff,  over  country  stiles,  behind  slated dwellinghouses,  down  blind  lanes,  or,  when  all  fruit  fails,  under some  sacking  left  on  a  coarse  cart.'^
So  hath  been,  love:  tis  tis:  and  will  be:  till  wears  and  tears  and
ii6
ages.  Thief  us  the  night,  steal  we  the  air,  shawl  thiner  liefest, mine!  Here,  Ohere,  insult  the  fair!  Traitor,  bad  hearer,  brave! The  lightning  look,  the  birding  cry,  awe  from  the  grave,  ever- flowing  on  the  times,  Feueragusaria  iordenwater;  now  godsun shine  on  menday's  daughter;  a  good  clap,  a  fore  marriage,  a  bad wake,  tell  hell's  well;  such  is  manowife's  lot  of  lose  and  win  again, like  he's  gruen  quhiskers  on  who's  chin  again,  she  plucketed  them out  but  they  grown  in  again.  So  what  are  you  going  to  do  about it.^  O  dear!
If  juness  she  saved!  Ah  ho!  And  if  yulone  he  pouved!  The  ol- old  stoliolum!  From  quiqui  quinet  to  michemiche  chelet  and  a jambebatiste  to  a  brulobrulo!  It  is  told  in  sounds  in  utter  that,  in signs  so  adds  to,  in  universal,  in  polygluttural,  in  each  auxiliary neutral  idiom,  sordomutics,  florilingua,  sheltafocal,  flayflutter,  a con's  cubane,  a  pro's  tutute,  strassarab,  ereperse  and  anythongue athall.  Since  nozzy  Nanette  tripped  palmy  ways  with  Highho Harry  there's  a  spurtfire  turf  a'kind  o'kindling  when  oft  as  the soufFsoufF  blows  her  peaties  up  and  a  claypot  wet  for  thee,  my Sitys,  and  talkatalka  tell  Tibbs  has  eve:  and  whathough  (revilous life  proving  aye  the  death  of  ronaldses  when  winpower  wine  has bucked  the  kick  on  poor  won  man)  billiousness  has  been  billious- ness  during  milliums  of  millenions  and  our  mixed  racings  have been  giving  two  hoots  or  three  jeers  for  the  grape,  vine  and  brew and  Pieter's  in  Nieuw  Amsteldam  and  Paoli's  where  the  poules go  and  rum  smelt  his  end  for  him  and  he  dined  off  sooth  ameri- can  (it  would  give  one  the  frier  even  were  one  a  normal  Kettle- licker)  this  oldworld  epistola  of  their  weatherings  and  their marryings  and  their  buryings  and  their  natural  selections  has combled  tumbled  down  to  us  fersch  and  made-at-all-hours  like an  ould  cup  on  tay.  As  I  was  hottin  me  souser.  Haha!  And  as you  was  caldin  your  dutchy  hovel.  Hoho!  She  tole  the  tail  or her  toon.  Huhu!
Now,  kapnimancy  and  infusionism  may  both  fit  as  tight  as two  trivets  but  while  we  in  our  wee  free  state,  holding  to  that prestatute  in  our  charter,  may  have  our  irremovable  doubts  as to  the  whole  sense  of  the  lot,  the  interpretation  of  any  phrase  in
117
the  whole,  the  meaning  of  every  word  of  a  phrase  so  far  de- ciphered out  of  it,  however  unfettered  our  Irish  daily  indepen- dence, we  must  vaunt  no  idle  dubiosity  as  to  its  genuine  author- ship and  holusbolus  authoritativeness.  And  let  us  bringtheecease to  beakerings  on  that  clink,  olmond  bottler!  On  the  face  of  it, to  volt  back  to  our  desultory  horses,  and  for  your  roughshod mind,  bafflelost  bull,  the  affair  is  a  thing  once  for  all  done  and there  you  are  somewhere  and  finished  in  a  certain  time,  be  it  a day  or  a  year  or  even  supposing,  it  should  eventually  turn  out to  be  a  serial  number  of  goodness  gracious  alone  knows  how many  days  or  years.  Anyhow,  somehow  and  somewhere,  before the  bookflood  or  after  her  ebb,  somebody  mentioned  by  name  in his  telephone  directory,  Coccolanius  or  Gallotaurus,  wrote  it, wrote  it  all,  wrote  it  all  down,  and  there  you  are,  full  stop.  O, undoubtedly  yes,  and  very  potably  so,  but  one  who  deeper  thinks will  always  bear  in  the  baccbuccus  of  his  mind  that  this  down- right there  you  are  and  there  it  is  is  only  all  in  his  eye.  Why.'^
Because,  Soferim  Bebel,  if  it  goes  to  that,  (and  dormerwindow gossip  will  cry  it  from  the  housetops  no  surelier  than  the  writing on  the  wall  will  hue  it  to  the  mod  of  men  that  mote  in  the  main street)  every  person,  place  and  thing  in  the  chaosmos  of  Alle anyway  connected  with  the  gobblydumped  turkery  was  moving and  changing  every  part  of  the  time:  the  travelling  inkhorn (possibly  pot),  the  hare  and  turtle  pen  and  paper,  the  continually more  and  less  intermisunderstanding  minds  of  the  anticollabora- tors,  the  as  time  went  on  as  it  will  variously  inflected,  differently pronounced,  otherwise  spelled,  changeably  meaning  vocable scriptsigns.  No,  so  holp  me  Petault,  it  is  not  a  miseffectual  why- acinthinous  riot  of  blots  and  blurs  and  bars  and  balls  and  hoops and  wriggles  and  juxtaposed  jottings  linked  by  spurts  of  speed: it  only  looks  as  like  it  as  damn  it;  and,  sure,  we  ought  really  to rest  thankful  that  at  this  deleteful  hour  of  dungflies  dawning  we have  even  a  written  on  with  dried  ink  scrap  of  paper  at  all  to  show for  ourselves,  tare  it  or  leaf  it,  (and  we  are  lufted  to  ourselves  as the  soulfisher  when  he  led  the  cat  out  of  the  bout)  after  all  that we  lost  and  plundered  of  it  even  to  the  hidmost  coignings  of  the
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earth  and  all  it  has  gone  through  and  by  all  means,  after  a  good ground  kiss  to  Terracussa  and  for  wars  luck  our  lefftoff's  flung over  our  home  homoplate,  cling  to  it  as  with  drowning  hands, hoping  against  hope  all  the  while  that,  by  the  light  of  philo- phosy,  (and  may  she  never  folsage  us!)  things  will  begin  to  clear up  a  bit  one  way  or  another  within  the  next  quarrel  of  an  hour and  be  hanged  to  them  as  ten  to  one  they  will  too,  please  the  pigs, as  they  ought  to  categorically,  as,  stricly  between  ourselves,  there is  a  limit  to  all  things  so  this  will  never  do.
For,  with  that  farmfrow's  foul  flair  for  that  flayfell  foxfetor, (the  calamite's  columitas  calling  for  calamitous  calamitance)  who that  scrutinising  marvels  at  those  indignant  whiplooplashes;  those so  prudently  bolted  or  blocked  rounds;  the  touching  reminiscence of  an  incompletet  trail  or  dropped  final;  a  round  thousand  whirli- gig glorioles,  prefaced  by  (alas!)  now  illegible  airy  plumeflights, all  tiberiously  ambiembellishing  the  initials  majuscule  of  Ear- wicker:  the  meant  to  be  baffling  chrismon  trilithon  sign  m,  finally called  after  some  his  hes  hecitency  Hec,  which,  moved  contra- watchwise,  represents  his  title  in  sigla  as  the  smaller  A,  fontly called  following  a  certain  change  of  state  of  grace  of  nature  alp or  delta,  when  single,  stands  for  or  tautologically  stands  beside the  consort:  (though  for  that  matter,  since  we  have  heard  from Cathay  cyrcles  how  the  hen  is  not  mirely  a  tick  or  two  after  the first  fifth  fourth  of  the  second  eighth  twelfth  —  siangchang hongkong  sansheneul  —  but  yirely  the  other  and  thirtieth  of  the ninth  from  the  twentieth,  our  own  vulgar  432  and  1132  irre- spectively, why  not  take  the  former  for  a  village  inn,  the  latter for  an  upsidown  bridge,  a  multiplication  marking  for  crossroads ahead,  which  you  like  pothook  for  the  family  gibbet,  their  old fourwheedler  for  the  bucker's  field,  a  tea  anyway  for  a  tryst someday,  and  his  onesidemissing  for  an  allblind  alley  leading  to an  Irish  plot  in  the  Champ  de  Mors,  not?)  the  steady  monologuy of  the  interiors;  the  pardonable  confusion  for  which  some  blame the  cudgel  and  more  blame  the  soot  but  unthanks  to  which the  pees  with  their  caps  awry  are  quite  as  often  as  not  taken for  kews  with  their  tails  in  their  or  are  quite  as  often  as  not
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taken  for  pews  with  their  tails  in  their  mouths,  thence  your pristopher  polombos,  hence  our  Kat  Kresbyterians;  the  curt witty  wotty  dashes  never  quite  just  right  at  the  trim  trite truth  letter;  the  sudden  spluttered  petulance  of  some  capitalised middle;  a  word  as  cunningly  hidden  in  its  maze  of  confused drapery  as  a  fieldmouse  in  a  nest  of  coloured  ribbons:  that  ab- surdly bullsfooted  bee  declaring  with  an  even  plainer  dummp- show  than  does  the  mute  commoner  with  us  how  hard  a  thing  it is  to  mpe  mpom  a  gentlerman:  and  look  at  this  prepronominal funferal^  engraved  and  retouched  and  edgewiped  and  pudden- padded,  very  like  a  whale's  egg  farced  with  pemmican,  as  were  it sentenced  to  be  nuzzled  over  a  full  trillion  times  for  ever  and  a night  till  his  noddle  sink  or  swim  by  that  ideal  reader  suffering from  an  ideal  insomnia:  all  those  red  raddled  obeli  cayennepep- percast  over  the  text,  calling  unnecessary  attention  to  errors, omissions,  repetitions  and  misalignments:  that  (probably  local  or personal)  variant  maggers  for  the  more  generally  accepted  ma- jesty which  is  but  a  trifle  and  yet  may  quietly  amuse:  those  super- ciliouslooking  crisscrossed  Greek  ees  awkwardlike  perched  there and  here  out  of  date  like  sick  owls  hawked  back  to  Athens:  and the  geegees  too,  jesuistically  formed  at  first  but  afterwards  genu- flected aggrily  toewards  the  Occident:  the  Ostrogothic  kako- graphy  affected  for  certain  phrases  of  Etruscan  stabletalk  and,  in short,  the  learning  betrayed  at  almost  every  line's  end:  the  head- strength  (at  least  eleven  men  of  thirty  two  palfry  craft)  revealed by  a  constant  labour  to  make  a  ghimel  pass  through  the  eye  of  an iota:  this,  for  instance,  utterly  unexpected  sinistrogyric  return  to one  peculiar  sore  point  in  the  past;  those  throne  open  doubleyous (of  an  early  muddy  terranean  origin  whether  man  chooses  to damn  them  agglutinatively  loo  —  too  —  blue  —  face  —  ache  or illvoodawpeehole  or,  kants  koorts,  topplefouls)  seated  with  such floprightdown  determination  and  reminding  uus  ineluctably  of nature  at  her  naturalest  while  that  fretful  fidget  eff,  the  hornful digamma  of  your  bornabarbar,  rarely  heard  now  save  when  falling from  the  unfashionable  lipsus  of  some  hetarosexual  (used  always in  two  boldfaced  print  types  —  one  of  them  as  wrongheaded  as
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his  Claudian  brother,  is  it  worth  while  interrupting  to  say?  — throughout  the  papyrus  as  the  revise  mark)  stalks  all  over  the page,  broods  i  sensationseeking  an  idea,  amid  the  verbiage, gaunt,  stands  dejectedly  in  the  diapered  window  margin,  with its  basque  of  bayleaves  all  aflutter  about  its  forksfrogs,  paces with  a  frown,  jerking  to  and  fro,  flinging  phrases  here,  there,  or returns  inhibited,  with  some  half-halted  suggestion,  L,  dragging its  shoestring;  the  curixiuis  warning  sign  before  our  protoparent's ipsissima  verba  (a  very  pure  nondescript,  by  the  way,  sometimes a  palmtailed  otter,  more  often  the  arbutus  fruitflowerleaf  of  the cainapple)  which  paleographers  call  a  leak  in  the  thatch  or  the Aranman  ingperwhis  through  the  hole  of  his  hat^  indicating  that  the words  which  follow  may  be  taken  in  any  order  desired,  hole  of Aran  man  the  hat  through  the  whispering  his  ho  (here  keen again  and  begin  again  to  make  soundsense  and  sensesound  kin again);  those  haughtypitched  disdotted  aiches  easily  of  the  rariest inasdroll  as  most  of  the  jaywalking  eyes  we  do  plough  into  halve, unconnected,  principial,  medial  or  final,  always  jims  in  the  jam, sahib,  as  pipless  as  threadworms:  the  innocent  exhibitionism  of those  frank  yet  capricious  underlinings:  that  strange  exotic  serpen- tine, since  so  properly  banished  from  our  scripture,  about  as  freak- wing  a  wetterhand  now  as  to  see  a  rightheaded  ladywhite  don  a corkhorse,  which,  in  its  invincible  insolence  ever  longer  more  and of  more  morosity,  seems  to  uncoil  spirally  and  swell  lacertinelazily before  our  eyes  under  pressure  of  the  writer's  hand;  the  ungainly musicianlessness  so  painted  in  sculpting  selfsounder  ah  ha  as blackartful  as  a  podatus  and  dumbfounder  oh  ho  oaproariose  as ten  canons  in  skelterfugue:  the  studious  omission  of  year  number and  era  name  from  the  date,  the  one  and  only  time  when  our copyist  seems  at  least  to  have  grasped  the  beauty  of  restraint;  the lubricitous  conjugation  of  the  last  with  the  first:  the  gipsy  mat- ing of  a  grand  stylish  gravedigging  with  secondbest  buns  (an  in- terpolation: these  munchables  occur  only  in  the  Bootherbrowth family  of  MSS.,  Bb  —  Cod  IV,  Pap  II,  Brek  XI,  Lun  III,  Dinn XVII,  Sup  XXX,  Fullup  M  D  C  X  C:  the  scholiast  has  hungrily misheard  a  deadman's  toller  as  a  mufiinbell):  the  four  shortened
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ampersands  under  which  we  can  glypse  at  and  feel  for  ourselves across  all  those  rushyears  the  warm  soft  short  pants  of  the  quick- scribbler:  the  vocative  lapse  from  which  it  begins  and  the  accu- sative hole  in  which  it  ends  itself;  the  aphasia  of  that  heroic  agony of  recalling  a  once  loved  number  leading  slip  by  slipper  to  a general  amnesia  of  misnomering  one's  own:  next  those  ars,  rrrr! those  ars  all  bellical,  the  highpriest's  hieroglyph  of  kettletom  and oddsbones,  wrasted  redhandedly  from  our  hallowed  rubric  prayer for  truce  with  booty,  0' Remus  pro  Romulo^  and  rudely  from  the fane's  pinnacle  tossed  down  by  porter  to  within  an  aim's  ace  of their  quatrain  of  rubyjets  among  Those  Who  arse  without  the Temple  nor  since  Roe's  Distillery  burn'd  have  quaff'd  Night's firefiird  Cup  But  jig  jog  jug  as  Day  the  Dicebox  Throws,  whang, loyal  sLx  I  lead,  out  wi'yer  heart's  bluid,  blast  ye,  and  there  she's for  you,  sir,  whang  her,  the  fine  ooman,  rouge  to  her  lobster locks,  the  rossy,  whang,  God  and  O'Mara  has  it  with  his  ruddy old  Villain  Rufus,  wait,  whang,  God  and  you're  another  he hasn't  for  there's  my  spoil  five  of  spuds's  trumps,  whang,  whack on  his  pigsking's  Kisser  for  him,  K.M.  O'Mara  where  are  you?; then  (coming  over  to  the  left  aisle  corner  down)  the  cruciform postscript  from  which  three  basia  or  shorter  and  smaller  oscula have  been  overcarefully  scraped  away,  plainly  inspiring  the  tene- brous Tunc  page  of  the  Book  of  Kells  (and  then  it  need  not  be lost  sight  of  that  there  are  exactly  three  squads  of  candidates  for the  crucian  rose  awaiting  their  turn  in  the  marginal  panels  of Columkiller,  chugged  in  their  three  ballotboxes,  then  set  apart  for such  hanging  committees,  where  two  was  enough  for  anyone, starting  with  old  Matthew  himself,  as  he  with  great  disdnction said  then  just  as  since  then  people  speaking  have  fallen  into  the custom,  when  speaking  to  a  person,  of  saying  two  is  company when  the  third  person  is  the  person  darkly  spoken  of,  and  then that  last  labiolingual  hasium  might  be  read  as  a  suavium  if  who- ever the  embracer  then  was  wrote  with  a  tongue  in  his  (or  per- haps her)  cheek  as  the  case  may  have  been  then);  and  the  fatal droopadwindle  slope  of  the  blamed  scrawl,  a  sure  sign  of  imper- fectible  moral  blindness;  the  toomuchness,  the  fartoomanyness
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of  all  those  fourlegged  ems:  and  why  spell  dear  god  with  a  big thick  dhee  (why,  O  why,  O  why?):  the  cut  and  dry  aks  and  wise form  of  the  semifinal;  and,  eighteenthly  or  twentyfourthly,  but at  least,  thank  Maurice,  lastly  when  all  is  zed  and  done,  the  pene- lopean  patience  of  its  last  paraphe,  a  colophon  of  no  fewer  than seven  hundred  and  thirtytwo  strokes  tailed  by  a  leaping  lasso  — who  thus  at  all  this  marvelling  but  will  press  on  hotly  to  see  the vaulting  feminine  libido  of  those  interbranching  ogham  sex  up- andinsweeps  sternly  controlled  and  easily  repersuaded  by  the uniform  matteroffactness  of  a  meandering  male  fist?
Duff-Muggli,  who  now  may  be  quoted  by  very  kind  arrange- ment (his  dectroscophonious  photosensition  under  suprasonic light  control  may  be  logged  for  by  our  none  too  distant  futures as  soon  astone  values  can  be  turned  out  from  Chromophilomos, Limited  at  a  millicentime  the  microamp),  first  called  this  kind  of paddygoeasy  partnership  the  ulykkhean  or  tetrachiric  or  quad- rumane  or  ducks  and  drakes  or  debts  and  dishes  perplex  (v.  Some Forestallings  over  that  Studium  of  Sexophonologistic  Schiiophre- nesis,  vol.  xxiv,  pp.  2-555)  ^^^^^  ^he  wellinformed  observation, made  miles  apart  from  the  Master  by  Tung-Toyd  (cf.  Later Frustrations  amengst  the  Neomugglian  Teachings  abaft  the  Semi- unconsciencey  passim)  that  in  the  case  of  the  littleknown  periplic bestteller  popularly  associated  with  the  names  of  the  wretched mariner  (trianforan  deffwedoff  our  plumsucked  pattern  shape- keeper)  a  Punic  admiralty  report.  From  MacPersons  Oshean Round  By  the  Tides  of  Jason  s  Cruise^  had  been  cleverly  capsized and  saucily  republished  as  a  dodecanesian  baedeker  of  the  every- tale-a-treat-in-itself  variety  which  could  hope  satisfactorily  to tickle  me  gander  as  game  as  your  goose.
The  unmistaken  identity  of  the  persons  in  the  Tiberiast  du- plex came  to  light  in  the  most  devious  of  ways.  The  original document  was  in  what  is  known  as  Hanno  O'Nonhanno's  un- brookable  script,  that  is  to  say,  it  showed  no  signs  of  punctua- tion of  any  sort.  Yet  on  holding  the  verso  against  a  lit  rush  this new  book  of  Morses  responded  most  remarkably  to  the  silent query  of  our  world's  oldest  light  and  its  recto  let  out  the  piquant
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fact  that  it  was  but  pierced  butnot  punctured  (in  the  university sense  of  the  term)  by  numerous  stabs  and  foliated  gashes  made by  a  pronged  instrument.  These  paper  wounds,  four  in  type, were  gradually  and  correctly  understood  to  mean  stop,  please stop,  do  please  stop,  and  O  do  please  stop  respectively,  and following  up  their  one  true  clue,  the  circumflexuous  wall  of  a singleminded  men's  asylum,  accentuated  by  bi  tso  fb  rok  engl a  ssan  dspl  itch  ina,  —  Yard  inquiries  pointed  out  — ^  that  they ad  bin  "provoked"  ay  A  fork,  of  a  grave  Brofesor;  ath  e's  Br^ak —  fast  —  table;  ;  acutely  professionally  piqued^  to=introdiice  a notion  of  time  [upon  a  plane  (?)  su  ' '  fag'e']  by  pianct!  ingh  oles (sic)  in  iSpace?!  Deeply  religious  by  nature  and  position,  and warmly  attached  to  Thee,  and  smearbread  and  better  and  Him and  newlaidills,  it  was  rightly  suspected  that  such  ire  could  not have  been  visited  by  him  Brotfressor  Prenderguest  even  under- wittingly,  upon  the  ancestral  pneuma  of  one  whom,  with  rheuma, he  venerated  shamelessly  at  least  once  a  week  at  Cockspur  Com- mon as  his  apple  in  his  eye  and  her  first  boys'  best  friend  and, though  plain  English  for  a  married  lady  misled  heaps  by  the  way, yet  when  some  peerer  or  peeress  detected  that  the  fourleaved shamrock  or  quadrifoil  jab  was  more  recurrent  wherever  the script  was  clear  and  the  term  terse  and  that  these  two  were  the selfsame  spots  naturally  selected  for  her  perforations  by  Dame Partlet  on  her  dungheap,  thinkers  all  put  grown  in  waterung- spillfull  Pratiland  only  and  a  playful  fowl  and  musical  me  and not  you  in  any  case,  two  and  two  together,  and,  with  a  swarm of  hisses  honeyhunting  after,  a  sigh  for  shyme  (O,  the  petty- bonny  rouge!)  separated  modest  mouths.  So  be  it.  And  it  was. The  letter  making  of  the  explots  of  Fjorgn  Camhelsson  when  he was  in  the  Kvinnes  country  with  Soldru's  men.  With  acknow- ledgment of  our  fervour  of  the  first  instant  he  remains  years  most fainfully.  For  postscrapt  see  spoils.  Though  not  yet  had  the  sailor sipped  that  sup  nor  the  humphar  foamed  to  the  fill.  And  fox  and geese  still  kept  the  peace  around  LAuherge  du  Pere  Adam,
Small  need  after  that,  old  Jeromesolem,  old  Huffsnuff,  old Andycox,  old  Olecasandrum,  for  quizzing  your  weekenders  come
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!
to  the  R.Q.  with:  shoots  ofF  in  a  hiss,  muddles  up  in  a  mussmass and  his  whole's  a  dismantled  noondrunkard's  son.  Howbeit  we heard  not  a  son  of  sons  to  leave  by  him  to  oceanic  society  in  his old  man  without  a  thing  in  his  ignorance,  Tulko  MacHooley. And  it  was  thus  he  was  at  every  time,  that  son,  and  the  other time,  the  day  was  in  it  and  after  the  morrow  Diremood  is  the name  is  on  the  writing  chap  of  the  psalter,  the  juxtajunctor  of  a dearmate  and  he  passing  out  of  one  desire  into  its  fellow.  The daughters  are  after  going  and  loojing  for  him,  Torba's  nice- lookers  of  the  fair  neck.  Wanted  for  millinary  servance  to olderly's  person  by  the  Totty  Askinses.  Formelly  confounded with  amother.  Maybe  growing  a  moustache,  did  you  say,  with an  adorable  look  of  amuzement?  And  uses  noclass  billiardhalls with  an  upandown  ladder?  Not  Hans  the  Curier  though  had  he had  have  only  had  some  little  laughings  and  some  less  of  cheeks and  were  he  not  so  warried  by  his  bulb  of  persecussion  he  could have,  ay,  and  would  have,  as  true  as  Essex  bridge.  And  not  Go- pheph  go  gossip,  I  declare  to  man!  Noel  To  all's  much  relief one's  half  hypothesis  of  that  jabberjaw  ape  amok  the  showering jestnuts  of  Bruisanose  was  hotly  dropped  and  his  room  taken  up by  that  odious  and  still  today  insufficiently  malestimated  note- snatcher  (kak,  pfooi,  bosh  and  fiety,  much  earny,  Gus,  poteen? Sez  you!)  Shem  the  Penman.
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So?
Who  do  you  no  tonigh,  lazy  and  gentleman?
The  echo  is  where  in  the  back  of  the  wodes;  callhim  forth!
(Shaun  Mac  Irewick,  briefdragger,  for  the  concern  of  Messrs Jhon  Jhamieson  and  Song,  rated  one  hundrick  and  thin  per storehundred  on  this  nightly  quisquiquock  of  the  twelve  apos- trophes, set  by  Jockit  Mic  Ereweak.  He  misunderstruck  and  aim for  am  olio  of  number  three  of  them  and  left  his  free  natural  ri- postes to  four  of  them  in  their  own  fine  artful  disorder,)
I.  What  secondtonone  myther  rector  and  maximost  bridges- maker  was  the  first  to  rise  taller  through  his  beanstale  than  the bluegum  buaboababbaun  or  the  giganteous  Wellingtonia  Sequoia; went  nudiboots  with  trouters  into  a  lifFeyette  when  she  was barely  in  her  tricklies;  was  well  known  to  claud  a  conciliation cap  onto  the  esker  of  his  booth;  sports  a  chainganger's  albert solemenly  over  his  hullender's  epulence;  thought  he  weighed  a new  ton  when  there  felled  his  first  lapapple;  gave  the  heinous- ness  of  choice  to  everyknight  betwixt  yesterdicks  and  twomaries; had  sevenal  successivecoloured  serebanmaids  on  the  same  big white  drawringroam  horthrug;  is  a  Willbeforce  to  this  hour  at house  as  he  was  in  heather;  pumped  the  catholick  wartrey  and shocked  the  prodestung  boyne;  killed  his  own  hungery  self  in anger  as  a  young  man;  found  fodder  for  five  when  allmarken rose  gofiooded;  with  Hirish  tutores  Cornish  made  easy;  voucher
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of  rotables,  toll  of  the  road;  bred  manyheaded  stepsons  for  one leapyourown  taughter;  is  too  funny  for  a  fish  and  has  too  much outside  for  an  insect;  like  a  heptagon  crystal  emprisoms  trues  and fauss  for  us;  is  infinite  swell  in  unfitting  induments;  once  was  he shovelled  and  once  was  he  arsoned  and  once  was  he  inundered and  she  hung  him  out  billbailey;  has  a  quadrant  in  his  tile  to  tell Toler  cad  a'clog  it  is;  offers  chances  to  Long  on  but  stands  up to  Legge  before;  found  coal  at  the  end  of  his  harrow  and  moss- roses  behind  the  seams;  made  a  fort  out  of  his  postern  and  wrote F.E.R.T.  on  his  buckler;  is  escapemaster-in-chief  from  all  sorts of  houdingplaces;  if  he  outharrods  against  barkers,  to  the  shool- bred  he  acts  whiteley;  was  evacuated  at  the  mere  appearance  of three  germhuns  and  twice  besieged  by  a  sweep;  from  zoomor- phology  to  omnianimalism  he  is  brooched  by  the  spin  of  a  coin; towers,  an  eddistoon  amid  the  lampless,  casting  swannbeams  on the  deep;  threatens  thunder  upon  malefactors  and  sends  whispers up  fraufrau's  froufrous;  when  Dook  Hookbackcrook  upsits  his ass  booseworthies  jeer  and  junket  but  they  boos  him  oos  and  baas his  aas  when  he  lukes  like  Hunkett  Plunkett;  by  sosannsos  and search  a  party  on  a  lady  of  this  city;  business,  reading  news- paper, smoking  cigar,  arranging  tumblers  on  table,  eating  meals, pleasure,  etcetera,  etcetera,  pleasure,  eating  meals,  arranging  tum- blers on  table,  smoking  cigar,  reading  newspaper,  business; minerals,  wash  and  brush  up,  local  views,  juju  toffee,  comic  and birthdays  cards;  those  were  the  days  and  he  was  their  hero;  pink sunset  shower,  red  clay  cloud,  sorrow  or  Sahara,  oxhide  or  Iren; arraigned  and  attainted,  listed  and  lited,  pleaded  and  proved; catches  his  check  at  banck  of  Indgangd  and  endurses  his  doom  at chapel  exit;  brain  of  the  franks,  hand  of  the  christian,  tongue  of the  north;  commands  to  dinner  and  calls  the  bluff;  has  a  block  at Morgen's  and  a  hatache  all  the  afternunch;  plays  gehamerat  when he's  ernst  but  misses  mausey  when  he's  lustyg;  walked  as  far  as the  Head  where  he  sat  in  state  as  the  Rump;  shows  Early  Eng- lish tracemarks  and  a  marigold  window  with  manigilt  lights,  a myrioscope,  two  remarkable  piscines  and  three  wellworthseeing ambries;  arches  all  portcullised  and  his  nave  dates  from  dots;  is
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a  horologe  unstoppable  and  the  Benn  of  all  bells;  fuit,  isst  and herit  and  though  he's  mildewstaned  he's  mouldystoned;  is  a  quer- cuss  in  the  forest  but  plane  member  for  Megalopolis;  mountun- mighty,  faunonfleetfoot;  plank  in  our  platform,  blank  in  our scouturn;  hidal,  in  carucates  he  is  enumerated,  hold  as  an  earl, he  counts;  shipshaped  phrase  of  buglooking  words  with  a  form like  the  easing  moments  of  a  graminivorous;  to  our  dooms brought  he  law,  our  manoirs  he  made  his  vill  of;  was  an  over- grind  to  the  underground  and  acqueduced  for  fierythroats;  sends boys  in  socks  acoughawhooping  when  he  lets  farth  his  carbon- oxside  and  silk  stockings  show  her  shapings  when  he  looses  hose on  hers;  stocks  dry  puder  for  the  111  people  and  pinkun's  pellets for  all  the  Pale;  gave  his  mundyfoot  to  Miserius,  her  pinch  to Anna  Livia,  that  superfine  pigtail  to  Cerisia  Cerosia  and  quid rides  to  Titius,  Caius  and  Sempronius;  made  the  man  who  had no  notion  of  shopkeepers  feel  he'd  rather  play  the  duke  than  play the  gentleman;  shot  two  queans  and  shook  three  caskles  when he  won  his  game  of  dwarfs;  fumes  inwards  like  a  strombolist  till he  smokes  at  both  ends;  manmote,  befier  of  him,  womankind, pietad!;  shows  one  white  drift  of  snow  among  the  gorsegrowth of  his  crown  and  a  chaperon  of  repentance  on  that  which  shed gore;  pause  and  quies,  triple  bill;  went  by  metro  for  the  polis  and then  hoved  by;  to  the  finders,  hail!  woa,  you  that  seek!;  whom fillth  had  plenished,  dearth  devoured;  hock  is  leading,  cocoa  comes next,  emery  tries  for  the  flag;  can  dance  the  O' Bruin's  polerpasse at  Noolahn  to  his  own  orchistruss  accompaniment;  took  place before  the  internatural  convention  of  catholic  midwives  and found  stead  before  the  congress  for  the  study  of  endonational calamities;  makes  a  delictuous  entree  and  finishes  off  the  course between  sweets  and  savouries;  flouts  for  forecasts,  flairs  for  finds and  the  fun  of  the  fray  on  the  fairground;  cleared  out  three  hun- dred sixty  five  idles  to  set  up  one  all  khalassal  for  henwives  hoping to  have  males;  the  flawhoolagh,  the  grasping  one,  the  kindler  of paschal  fire;  forbids  us  our  trespassers  as  we  forgate  him;  the phoenix  be  his  pyre,  the  cineres  his  sire!;  piles  big  pelium  on little  ossas  like  the  pilluls  of  hirculeads;  has  an  eatupus  complex
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1
and  a  drinkthedregs  kink;  wurstmeats  for  chumps  and  cowcar- lows  for  scullions;  when  he  plies  for  our  favour  is  very  trolly ours;  two  psychic  espousals  and  three  desertions;  may  be  matter of  fact  now  but  was  futter  of  magd  then;  Cattermole  Hill,  ex- mountain  of  flesh  was  reared  up  by  stress  and  sank  under  strain; tank  it  up,  dank  it  up,  tells  the  tailor  to  his  tout;  entoutcas  for  a man,  but  bit  a  thimble  for  a  maid;  blimp,  blump;  a  dud  letter,  a  sing a  song  a  sylble;  a  byword,  a  sentence  with  surcease;  while  stands his  canyouseehim  frails  shall  fall;  was  hatched  at  Cellbridge  but ejoculated  abrood;  as  it  gan  in  the  biguinnengs  so  wound  up  in a  battle  of  Boss;  Roderick,  Roderick,  Roderick,  O,  youVe  gone the  way  of  the  Danes;  variously  catalogued,  regularly  regrouped; a  bushboys  holoday,  a  quacker's  mating,  a  wenches'  sandbath; the  same  homoheatherous  checkinlossegg  as  when  sollyeye  airly blew  ye;  real  detonation  but  false  report;  spa  mad  but  inn  sane; half  emillian  via  bogus  census  but  a  no  street  hausmann  when allphannd;  is  the  handiest  of  all  andies  and  a  most  alleghant  spot to  dump  your  hump;  hands  his  secession  to  the  new  patricius  but plumps  plebmatically  for  the  bloody  old  centuries;  eats  with doors  open  and  ruts  with  gates  closed;  some  dub  him  Rotshield and  more  limn  him  Rockyfellow;  shows  he's  fly  to  both  demis- fairs  but  thries  to  cover  up  his  tracers;  seven  dovecotes  cooclaim to  have  been  pigeonheim  to  this  homer,  Smerrnion,  Rhoebok, Kolonsreagh,  Seapoint,  Quayhowth,  Ashtown,  Ratheny;  inde- pendent of  the  lordship  of  chamberlain,  acknowledging  the  rule of  Rome;  we  saw  thy  farm  at  Useful  Prine,  Domhnall,  Domhnall; reeks  like  Illbelpaese  and  looks  like  Iceland's  ear;  lodged  at  quot places,  lived  through  tot  reigns;  takes  a  szumbath  for  his  weekend and  a  wassarnap  for  his  refreskment;  after  a  good  bout  at  stool- ball  enjoys  Giroflee  Giroflaa;  what  Nevermore  missed  and Colombo  found;  believes  in  everyman  his  own  goaldkeeper  and in  Africa  for  the  fullblacks;  the  arc  of  his  drive  was  forty  full and  his  stumps  were  pulled  at  eighty;  boasts  him  to  the  thick-in- thews  the  oldest  creater  in  Aryania  and  looks  down  on  the  Suiss family  Collesons  whom  he  calls  les  nouvelles  roches;  though  his heart,  soul  and  spirit  turn  to  pharaoph  times,  his  love,  faith  and
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hope  stick  to  futuerism;  light  leglifters  cense  him  souriantes  from afore  while  boor  browbenders  curse  him  grommelants  to  his hindmost;  between  youlasses  and  yeladst  glimse  of  Even;  the Lug  his  peak  has,  the  Luk  his  pile;  drinks  tharr  and  wodhar  for his  asama  and  eats  the  unparishable  sow  to  styve  off  reglar  rack; the  beggars  cloak  them  reclined  about  his  paddystool,  the  whores winken  him  as  they  walk  their  side;  on  Christienmas  at  Advent Lodge,  New  Yealand,  after  a  lenty  illness  the  roeverand  Mr Easterling  of  pentecostitis,  no  followers  by  bequest,  fanfare  all private;  Gone  Where  Glory  Waits  Him  (Ball,  bulletist)  but  Not Here  Yet  (Maxwell,  dark);  comminxed  under  articles  but  phoe- nished  a  borgiess;  from  the  vat  on  the  bier  through  the  burre  in the  dark  to  the  buttle  of  the  bawn;  is  Ai  an  the  highest  but  Roh re  his  root;  filled  fanned  of  hackleberries  whenas  all  was  tuck and  toss  up  for  him  as  a  yangster  to  fall  fou  of  hockinbechers wherein  he  had  gauged  the  use  of  raisin;  ads  aliments,  das  doles, raps  rustics,  tams  turmoil;  sas  seed  enough  for  a  semination  but sues  skivvies  on  the  sly;  learned  to  speak  from  hand  to  mouth till  he  could  talk  earish  with  his  eyes  shut;  hacked  his  way  through hickheckhocks  but  hanged  hishelp  from  there  hereafters;  rialtos, annesleyg,  binn  and  balls  to  say  nothing  atolk  of  New  Comyn; the  gleam  of  the  glow  of  the  shine  of  the  sun  through  the dearth  of  the  dirth  on  the  blush  of  the  brick  of  the  viled  ville  of Barnehulme  has  dust  turned  to  brown;  these  dyed  to  tartan  him, rueroot,  dulse,  bracken,  teasel,  fuller's  ash,  sundew  and  cress; long  gunn  but  not  for  cotton;  stood  his  sharp  assault  of  famine but  grew  girther,  girther  and  girther;  he  has  twenty  four  or  so cousins  germinating  in  the  United  States  of  America  and  a namesake  with  an  initial  difference  in  the  once  kingdom  of Poland;  his  first's  a  young  rose  and  his  second's  French- Egyptian  and  his  whole  means  a  slump  at  Christie's;  forth  of  his pierced  part  came  the  woman  of  his  dreams,  blood  thicker  then water  last  trade  overseas;  buyshop  of  Glintylook,  eorl  of  Hoed; you  and  I  are  in  him  surrented  by  brwn  bldns;  Elin's  flee  polt pelhaps  but  Hwang  Chang  evelytime;  he  one  was  your  of  high- bigpipey  boys  but  fancy  him  as  smoking  fags  his  at  time  of
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m
life;  Mount  of  Mish,  Mell  of  Moy;  had  two  cardinal  ventures  and three  capitol  sinks;  has  a  peep  in  his  pocketbook  and  a  packet- boat  in  his  keep;  B.V.H.,  B.L.G.,  P.P.M.,  T.D.S.,  V.B.D., T.C.H.,  L.O.N.;  is  Breakfates,  Lunger,  Diener  and  Souper;  as the  streets  were  paved  with  cold  he  felt  his  topperairy;  taught himself  skating  and  learned  how  to  fall;  distinctly  dirty  but  rather a  dear;  hoveth  chieftains  evrywehr,  with  morder;  Ostman Effendi,  Serge  Paddishaw;  baases  two  mmany,  outpriams  aF his  parisites;  first  of  the  fenians,  roi  des  faineants^  his  Tiara  of scones  was  held  unfillable  till  one  Liam  Fail  felled  him  in  West- munster;  was  struck  out  of  his  sittem  when  he  rowed  saulely  to demask  us  and  to  our  appauling  predicament  brought  as  plagues from  Buddapest;  put  a  matchhead  on  an  aspenstalk  and  set  the living  a  fire;  speared  the  rod  and  spoiled  the  lightning;  married with  cakes  and  repunked  with  pleasure;  till  he  was  buried  how- happy  was  he  and  he  made  the  welkins  ring  with  Up  Micawberf; god  at  the  top  of  the  staircase,  carrion  on  the  mat  of  straw; the  false  hood  of  a  spindler  web  chokes  the  cavemouth  of  his unsightliness  but  the  nestlings  that  liven  his  leafscreen  sing  him a  lover  of  arbuties;  we  strike  hands  over  his  bloodied  warsheet but  we  are  pledged  entirely  to  his  green  mantle;  our  friend vikelegal,  our  swaran  foi;  under  the  four  stones  by  his  streams who  vanished  the  wassailbowl  at  the  joy  of  shells;  Mora  and Lora  had  a  hill  of  a  high  time  looking  down  on  his  confusion  till firm  look  in  readiness,  forward  spear  and  the  windfoot  of  curach strewed  the  lakemist  of  Lego  over  the  last  of  his  fields;  we darkened  for  you,  faulterer,  in  the  year  of  mourning  but  we'll fidhil  to  the  dimtwinklers  when  the  streamy  morvenlight  calls  up the  sunbeam;  his  striped  pantaloons,  his  rather  strange  walk; hereditatis  columna  erecta^  hagion  chiton  eraphon;  nods  a  nap  for the  nonce  but  crows  cheerio  when  they  get  ecunemical;  is  a  simul- taneous equator  of  elimbinated  integras  when  three  upon  one  is by  inspection  improper;  has  the  most  conical  hodpiece  of  con- fusianist  heronim  and  that  chuchuffuous  chinchin  of  his  is  like a  footsey  kungoloo  around  Taishantyland;  he's  as  globeful  as  a gasometer  of  lithium  and  luridity  and  he  was  thrice  ten  anular
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years  before  he  wallowed  round  Raggiant  Circos;  the  cabalstone at  the  coping  of  his  cavin  is  a  canine  constant  but  only  an  amiri- can  could  apparoxemete  the  apeupresiosity  of  his  atlast's  alonge- ment;  sticklered  rights  and  lefts  at  Baddersdown  in  his  hunt  for the  boar  trwth  but  made  his  end  with  the  modareds  that  came at  him  in  Camlenstrete;  a  hunnibal  in  exhaustive  conflict,  an  otho to  return;  burning  body  to  aiger  air  on  melting  mountain  in wooing  wave;  we  go  into  him  sleepy  children,  we  come  out  of him  strucklers  for  life;  he  divested  to  save  from  the  Mrs  Drown- ings their  rival  queens  while  Grimshaw,  Bragshaw  and  Renshaw made  off  with  his  storen  clothes;  taxed  and  rated,  licensed  and ranted;  his  threefaced  stonehead  was  found  on  a  whitehorse  hill and  the  print  of  his  costellous  feet  is  seen  in  the  goat's  grass- circle;  pull  the  blind,  toll  the  deaf  and  call  dumb,  lame  and  halty; Miraculone,  Monstrucceleen;  led  the  upplaws  at  the  Creation  and hissed  a  snake  charmer  off  her  stays;  hounded  become  haunter, hunter  become  fox;  harrier,  marrier,  terrier,  tav;  Olaph  the  Ox- man,  Thorker  the  Tourable;  you  feel  he  is  Vespasian  yet  you think  of  him  as  Aurelius;  whugamore,  tradertory,  socianist,  com- moniser;  made  a  summer  assault  on  our  shores  and  begiddy  got his  sands  full;  first  he  shot  down  Raglan  Road  and  then  he  tore up  Marlborough  Place;  Cromlechheight  and  Crommalhill  were his  farfamed  feetrests  when  our  lurch  as  lout  let  free  into  the Lubar  beloved;  mareschalled  his  wardmotes  and  delimited  the main;  netted  before  nibbling,  can  scarce  turn  a  scale  but,  grossed after  meals,  weighs  a  town  in  himself;  Banba  prayed  for  his  con- version, Beurla  missed  that  grand  old  voice;  a  Colossus  among cabbages,  the  Melarancitrone  of  fruits;  larger  than  life,  doughtier than  death;  Gran  Turco,  orege  forment;  lachsembulger,  leperlean; the  sparkle  of  his  genial  fancy,  the  depth  of  his  calm  sagacity,  the clearness  of  his  spotless  honour,  the  flow  of  his  boundless  bene- volence; our  family  furbear,  our  tribal  tarnpike;  quary  was  he invincibled  and  cur  was  he  burked;  partitioned  Irskaholm,  united Irishmen;  he  took  a  svig  at  his  own  methyr  but  she  tested  a  bit gorky  and  as  for  the  salmon  he  was  coming  up  in  him  all  life long;  comm,  eilerdich,  hecklebury  and  sawyer  thee,  warden;
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silent  as  the  bee  in  honey,  stark  as  the  breath  on  hauwck,  Cos- tello,  Kinsella,  Mahony,  Moran,  though  you  rope  Amrique  your home  ruler  is  Dan;  figure  right,  he  is  hoisted  by  the  scurve  of his  shaggy  neck,  figure  left,  he  is  rationed  in  isobaric  patties among  the  crew;  one  asks  was  he  poisoned,  one  thinks  how  much did  he  leave;  ex-gardener  (Riesengebirger),  fitted  up  with planturous  existencies  would  make  Roseoogreedy  (mite's)  little hose;  taut  sheets  and  scuppers  awash  but  the  oil  silk  mack  Liebs- terpet  micks  his  aquascutum;  the  enjoyment  he  took  in  kay women,  the  employment  he  gave  to  gee  men;  sponsor  to  a  squad of  piercers,  ally  to  a  host  of  rawlies;  against  lightning,  explosion, fire,  earthquake,  flood,  whirlwind,  burglary,  third  party,  rot,  loss of  cash,  loss  of  credit,  impact  of  vehicles;  can  rant  as  grave  as oxtail  soup  and  chat  as  gay  as  a  porto  flippant;  is  unhesitent  in his  unionism  and  yet  a  pigotted  nationalist;  Sylviacola  is  shy  of him,  Matrosenhosens  nose  the  joke;  shows  the  sinews  of  peace  in his  chest-o-wars;  fiefeofhome,  ninehundred  and  thirtunine  years of  copyhold;  is  aldays  open  for  polemypolity's  sake  when  he's  not suntimes  closed  for  the  love  of  Janus;  sucks  life's  eleaxir  from the  pettipickles  of  the  Jewess  and  ruoulls  in  sulks  if  any  popeling runs  down  the  Huguenots;  Boomaport,  Walleslee,  Ubermeerschall Blowcher  and  Supercharger,  Monsieur  Ducrow,  Mister  Mudson, master  gardiner;  to  one  he's  just  paunch  and  judex,  to  another full  of  beans  and  brehons;  hallucination,  cauchman,  ectoplasm; passed  for  baabaa  blacksheep  till  he  grew  white  woo  woo  woolly; was  drummatoysed  by  Mac  Milligan's  daughter  and  put  to  music by  one  shoebard;  all  fitzpatricks  in  his  emirate  remember  him,  the boys  of  wetford  hail  him  babu;  indanified  himself  with  boro  tribute and  was  schenkt  publicly  to  brigstoll;  was  given  the  light  in  drey orchafts  and  entumuled  in  threeplexes;  his  likeness  is  in  Terrecuite and  he  giveth  rest  to  the  rainbowed;  lebriety,  frothearnity  and quality;  his  reverse  makes  a  virtue  of  necessity  while  his  obverse mars  a  mother  by  invention;  beskilk  his  gunwale  and  he's  the second  imperial,  untie  points,  unhook  tenters  and  he's  lath  and plaster;  calls  upon  Allthing  when  he  fails  to  appeal  to  Eachovos; basidens,  ardree,  kongsemma,  rexregulorum;  stood  into  Dee  mouth,
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then  backed  broadside  on  Baulacleeva;  either  eldorado  or  ultimate thole;  a  kraal  of  fou  feud  fires,  a  crawl  of  five  pubs;  laid  out  lash- ings of  laveries  to  hunt  down  his  family  ancestors  and  then  pled double  trouble  or  quick  quits  to  hush  the  buckers  up;  threw  peb- blets  for  luck  over  one  sodden  shoulder  and  dragooned  peoplades armed  to  their  teeth;  pept  as  Gaudio  Gambrinus,  grim  as  Potter the  Grave;  ace  of  arts,  deuce  of  damimonds,  trouble  of  clubs,  fear of  spates;  cumbrum,  cumbrum,  twiniceynurseys  fore  a  drum  but tre  to  uno  tips  the  scale;  reeled  the  titleroll  opposite  a  brace  of girdles  in  Silver  on  the  Screen  but  was  sequenced  from  the  set as  Crookback  by  the  even  more  titulars,  Rick,  Dave  and  Barry; he  can  get  on  as  early  as  the  twentysecond  of  Mars  but  occasion- ally he  doesn't  come  off  before  Virgintiquinque  Germinal;  his  In- dian name  is  Hapapoosiesobjibway  and  his  number  in  arithmo- sophy  is  the  stars  of  the  plough;  took  weapon  in  the  province  of the  pike  and  let  fling  his  line  on  Eelwick;  moves  in  vicous  cicles yet  remews  the  same;  the  drain  rats  bless  his  offals  while  the  park birds  curse  his  floodlights;  Portobello,  Equadocta,  Therecocta, Percorello;  he  pours  into  the  softclad  shellborn  the  hard  cash earned  in  Watling  Street;  his  birth  proved  accidental  shows  his death  its  grave  mistake;  brought  us  giant  ivy  from  the  land  of younkers  and  bewitthered  Apostolopolos  with  the  gale  of  his  gall; while  satisfied  that  soft  youthful  bright  matchless  girls  should bosom  into  fine  silkclad  joyous  blooming  young  women  is  not so  pleased  that  heavy  swearsome  strongsmelling  irregularshaped men  should  blottout  active  handsome  wellformed  frankeyed  boys; herald  hairyfair,  alloaf  the  wheat;  husband  your  aunt  and  endow your  nepos;  hearken  but  hush  it,  screen  him  and  see;  time  is, an  archbishopric,  time  was,  a  tradesmen's  entrance;  beckburn brooked  with  wath,  scale  scarred  by  scow;  his  rainfall  is  a  couple of  kneehighs  while  his  meanst  grass  temperature  marked  three  in the  shade;  is  the  meltingpoint  of  snow  and  the  bubblingplace  of alcohol;  has  a  tussle  with  the  trulls  and  then  does  himself  justice; hinted  at  in  the  eschatological  chapters  of  Humphrey's  Justesse of  the  Jaypees  and  hunted  for  by  Theban  recensors  who  sniff there's  something  behind  the  Bug  of  the  Deaf;  the  king  was  in
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his  cornerwall  melking  mark  so  murry,  the  queen  was  steep  in armbour  feeling  fain  and  furry,  the  mayds  was  midst  the  haw- thorns shoeing  up  their  hose,  out  pimps  the  back  guards  (pomp !) and  pump  gun  they  goes;  to  all  his  foretellers  he  reared  a  stone and  for  all  his  comethers  he  planted  a  tree;  forty  acres,  sixty  miles, white  stripe,  red  stripe,  washes  his  fleet  in  annacrwatter;  whou missed  a  porter  so  whot  shall  he  do  for  he  wanted  to  sit  for Pimploco  but  they've  caught  him  to  stand  for  Sue?;  Dutchlord, Dutchlord,  overawes  us;  Headmound,  king  and  martyr,  dunstung in  the  Yeast,  Pitre-le-Pore-in  Petrin,  Barth-the-Grete-by-the- Exchange;  he  hestens  towards  dames  troth  and  wedding  hand like  the  prince  of  Orange  and  Nassau  while  he  has  trinity  left behind  him  like  Bowlbeggar  Bill-the-Bustonly;  brow  of  a  hazel- wood,  pool  in  the  dark;  changes  blowicks  into  bullocks  and  a well  of  Artesia  into  a  bird  of  Arabia;  the  handwriting  on  his facewall,  the  cryptoconchoidsiphonostomata  in  his  exprussians; his  birthspot  lies  beyond  the  herospont  and  his  burialplot  in  the pleasant  little  field;  is  the  yldist  kiosk  on  the  pleninsula  and  the unguest  hostel  in  Saint  Scholarland;  walked  many  hundreds  and many  score  miles  of  streets  and  lit  thousands  in  one  nightlights in  hectares  of  windows;  his  great  wide  cloak  lies  on  fifteen  acres and  his  little  white  horse  decks  by  dozens  our  doors;  O  sorrow the  sail  and  woe  the  rudder  that  were  set  for  Mairie  Quail;  his suns  the  huns,  his  dartars  the  tartars,  are  plenty  here  today;  who repulsed  from  his  burst  the  bombolts  of  Ostenton  and  falchioned each  flash  downsaduck  in  the  deep;  apersonal  problem,  a  loca- tive enigma;  upright  one,  vehicule  of  arcanisation  in  the  field, lying  chap,  floodsupplier  of  celiculation  through  ebblanes;  a  part of  the  whole  as  a  port  for  a  whale;  Dear  Hewitt  Castello,  Equerry, were  daylighted  with  our  outing  and  are  looking  backwards  to unearly  summers,  from  Rhoda  Dundrums;  is  above  the  seedfruit level  and  outside  the  leguminiferous  zone;  when  older  links  lock older  hearts  then  he'll  resemble  she;  can  be  built  with  glue  and clippings,  scrawled  or  voided  on  a  buttress;  the  night  express sings  his  story,  the  song  of  sparrownotes  on  his  stave  of  wires; he  crawls  with  lice,  he  swarms  with  saggarts;  is  as  quiet  as  a
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mursque  but  can  be  as  noisy  as  a  sonogog;  was  Dilmun  when  his date  was  palmy  and  Mudlin  when  his  nut  was  cracked;  suck  up the  sease,  lep  laud  at  ease,  one  lip  on  his  lap  and  one  cushlin  his crease;  his  porter  has  a  mighty  grasp  and  his  baxters  the  boon  of broadwhite;  as  far  as  wind  dries  and  rain  eats  and  sun  turns and  water  bounds  he  is  exalted  and  depressed,  assembled  and asundered;  go  away,  we  are  deluded,  come  back,  we  are  dis- ghosted;  bored  the  Ostrov,  leapt  the  Inferus,  swam  the  Mabbul and  flure  the  Moyle;  like  fat,  like  fatlike  tallow,  of  greasefulness, yea  of  dripping  greasefulness;  did  not  say  to  the  old,  old,  did  not say  to  the  scorbutic,  scorbutic;  he  has  founded  a  house,  Uru, a  house  he  has  founded  to  which  he  has  assigned  its  fate;  bears a  raaven  geulant  on  a  f  jeld  duiv;  ruz  the  halo  off  his  varlet  when he  appeared  to  his  shecook  as  Haycock,  Emmet,  Boaro,  Toaro, Osterich,  Mangy  and  Skunk;  pressed  the  beer  of  aled  age  out  of the  nettles  of  rashness;  put  a  roof  on  the  lodge  for  Hymn  and  a coq  in  his  pot  pro  homo;  was  dapifer  then  pancircensor  then hortifex  magnus;  the  topes  that  tippled  on  him,  the  types  that toppled  off  him;  still  starts  our  hares  yet  gates  our  goat;  pocket- book  packetboat,  gapman  gunrun;  the  light  of  other  days,  dire dreary  darkness;  our  awful  dad,  Timour  of  Tortur;  puzzling, startling,  shocking,  nay,  perturbing;  went  pufiing  from  king's brugh  to  new  customs,  doffing  the  gibbous  off  him  to  every breach  of  all  size;  with  Pa's  new  heft  and  Papa's  new  helve  he's Papapa's  old  cutlass  Papapapa  left  us;  when  youngheaded  old- shouldered  and  middlishneck  aged  about;  caller  herring  every- daily,  turgid  tarpon  overnight;  see  Loryon  the  comaleon  that changed  endocrine  history  by  loeven  his  loaf  with  forty  bannucks; she  drove  him  dafe  till  he  driv  her  blind  up;  the  pigeons  doves  be perchin  all  over  him  one  day  on  Baslesbridge  and  the  ravens  duv be  pitchin  their  dark  nets  after  him  the  next  night  behind  Koenig- stein's  Arbour;  tronf  of  the  rep,  comf  of  the  priv,  prosp  of  the pub;  his  headwood  it's  ideal  if  his  feet  are  bally  clay;  he  crashed in  the  hollow  of  the  park,  trees  down,  as  he  soared  in  the  vaguum of  the  phoenix,  stones  up;  looks  like  a  moultain  boultter  and sounds  like  a  rude  word;  the  mountaen  view,  some  lumin  pale
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round  a  lamp  of  succar  in  boinyn  water;  three  shots  a  puddy  at up  blup  saddle;  made  up  to  Miss  MacCormack  Ni  Lacarthy  who made  off  with  Darly  Dermod,  swank  and  swarthy;  once  diamond cut  garnet  now  dammat  cuts  groany;  you  might  find  him  at  the Florence  but  watch  our  for  him  in  Wynn's  Hotel;  theer's  his bow  and  wheer's  his  leaker  and  heer  lays  his  bequiet  hearse, deep;  Swed  Albiony,  likeliest  villain  of  the  place;  Hennery  Can- terel  —  Cockran,  eggotisters,  limitated;  we  take  our  tays  and frees  our  fleas  round  sadum*s  mounted  foot;  built  the  Lund's kirk  and  destroyed  the  church's  land;  who  guesse  his  title  grabs his  deeds;  fletch  and  prities,  fash  and  chaps;  artful  Juke  of  Wilysly; Hugglebelly's  Funniral;  Kukkuk  Kallikak;  heard  in  camera  and excruciated;  boon  when  with  benches  billeted,  bann  if  buckshot- backshattered;  heavengendered,  chaosfoedted,  earthborn;  his father  presumptively  ploughed  it  deep  on  overtime  and  his mother  as  all  evince  must  have  travailled  her  fair  share;  a  foot- prinse  on  the  Megacene,  hetman  unwhorsed  by  Searingsand; honorary  captain  of  the  extemporised  fire  brigade,  reported  to be  friendly  with  the  police;  the  door  is  still  open;  the  old  stock collar  is  coming  back;  not  forgetting  the  time  you  laughed  at Elder  Charterhouse's  duckwhite  pants  and  the  way  you  said  the whole  township  can  see  his  hairy  legs;  by  stealth  of  a  kersse  her aulburntress  abaft  his  nape  she  hung;  when  his  kettle  became  a hearthsculdus  our  thorstyites  set  their  lymphyamphyre;  his  year- letter  concocted  by  masterhands  of  assays,  his  hallmark  imposed by  the  standard  of  wrought  plate;  a  pair  of  pectorals  and  a  triple- screen  to  get  a  wind  up;  lights  his  pipe  with  a  rosin  tree  and  hires a  towhorse  to  haul  his  shoes;  cures  slavey's  scurvy,  breaks barons  boils;  called  to  sell  polosh  and  was  found  later  in  a  bed- room; has  his  seat  of  justice,  his  house  of  mercy,  his  corn  o'copious and  his  stacks  a'rye;  prospector,  he  had  a  rooksacht,  retrospector, he  holds  the  holpenstake;  won  the  freedom  of  new  yoke  for  the minds  of  jugoslaves;  acts  active,  peddles  in  passivism  and  is  a gorgon  of  selfridgeousness;  pours  a  laughsworth  of  his  informa- tion over  a  larmsworth  of  salt;  half  heard  the  single  maiden speech  La  Belle  spun  to  her  Grand  Mount  and  wholed  a  lifetime
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by  his  ain  fireside,  wondering  was  it  hebrew  set  to  himmeltones or  the  quicksilversong  of  qwaternions;  his  troubles  may  be  over but  his  doubles  have  still  to  come;  the  lobster  pot  that  crabbed our  keel,  the  garden  pet  that  spoiled  our  squeezed  peas;  he  stands in  a  lovely  park,  sea  is  not  far,  importunate  towns  of  X,  Y  and Z  are  easily  over  reached;  is  an  excrescence  to  civilised  humanity and  but  a  wart  on  Europe;  wanamade  singsigns  to  soundsense an  yit  he  wanna  git  all  his  flesch  nuemaid  motts  truly  prural  and plusible;  has  excisively  large  rings  and  is  uncustomarily  perfumed; lusteth  ath  he  listeth  the  cleah  whithpeh  of  a  themise;  is  a  prince of  the  fingallian  in  a  hiberniad  of  hoolies;  has  a  hodge  to  wherry him  and  a  frenchy  to  curry  him  and  a  brabanson  for  his  beeter  and a  fritz  at  his  switch;  was  waylaid  of  a  parker  and  beschotten  by  a buckeley;  kicks  lintils  when  he's  cuppy  and  casts  Jacob's  arroroots, dime  after  dime,  to  poor  waifstrays  on  the  perish;  reads  the  charms of  H.  C.  Endersen  all  the  weaks  of  his  evenin  and  the  crimes  of Ivaun  the  Taurrible  every  strongday  morn;  soaps  you  soft  to  your face  and  slaps  himself  when  he's  badend;  owns  the  bulgiest  bung- barrel  that  ever  was  tiptapped  in  the  privace  of  the  Mullingar Inn;  was  born  with  a  nuasilver  tongue  in  his  mouth  and  went round  the  coast  of  Iron  with  his  lift  hand  to  the  scene;  raised  but two  fingers  and  yet  smelt  it  would  day;  for  whom  it  is  easier  to found  a  see  in  Ebblannah  than  for  I  or  you  to  find  a  dubbeltye in  Dampsterdamp;  to  live  with  whom  is  a  lifemayor  and  to  know whom  a  liberal  education;  was  dipped  in  Hoily  Olives  and  chrys- med  in  Scent  Otooles;  hears  cricket  on  the  earth  but  annoys  the life  out  of  predikants;  still  turns  the  durc's  ear  of  Darius  to  the now  thoroughly  infurioted  one  of  God;  made  Man  with  juts that  jerk  and  minted  money  mong  maney;  likes  a  six  acup  pud- ding when  he's  come  whome  sweetwhome;  has  come  through  all the  eras  of  livsadventure  from  moonshine  and  shampaying  down to  clouts  and  pottled  porter;  woollem  the  farsed,  hahnreich  the althe,  charge  the  sackend,  writchad  the  thord;  if  a  mandrake shrieked  to  convultures  at  last  surviving  his  birth  the  weibduck will  wail  bitternly  over  the  rotter's  resurrection;  loses  weight  in the  moon  night  but  girds  girder  by  the  sundawn;  with  one  touch
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of  nature  set  a  veiled  world  agrin  and  went  within  a  sheet  of tissuepaper  of  the  option  of  three  gaols;  who  could  see  at  one blick  a  saumon  taken  with  a  lance,  hunters  pursuing  a  doe,  a swallowship  in  full  sail,  a  whyterobe  lifting  a  host;  faced  flappery like  old  King  Cnut  and  turned  his  back  like  Cincinnatus;  is  a farfar  and  morefar  and  a  hoar  father  Nakedbucker  in  villas  old  as new;  squats  aquart  and  cracks  aquaint  when  it's  flaggin  in  town and  on  haven;  blows  whiskery  around  his  summit  but  stehts stout  upon  his  footles;  stutters  fore  he  falls  and  goes  mad  entirely when  he's  waked;  is  Timb  to  the  pearly  mom  and  Tomb  to  the mourning  night;  and  an  he  had  the  best  bunbaked  bricks  in  bould Babylon  for  his  pitching  plays  he'd  be  lost  for  the  want  of  his wan  wubblin  wall?
Answer:  Finn  MacCool!
2.  Does  your  mutter  know  your  mike?
Answer:  When  I  turn  meoptics,  from  suchurban  prospects, 'tis  my  filial's  bosom,  doth  behold  with  pride,  that  pontificator, and  circumvallator,  with  his  dam  night  garrulous,  slipt  by  his side.  Ann  alive,  the  lisp  of  her,  'twould  grig  mountains  whisper her,  and  the  bergs  of  Iceland  melt  in  waves  of  fire,  and  her  spoon- me-spondees,  and  her  dirckle-me-ondenees,  make  the  Rageous Ossean,  kneel  and  quaff  a  lyre!  If  Dann's  dane,  Ann's  dirty,  if he's  plane  she's  purty,  if  he's  fane,  she's  flirty,  with  her  auburnt streams,  and  her  coy  cajoleries,  and  her  dabblin  drolleries,  for  to rouse  his  rudderup,  or  to  drench  his  dreams.  If  hot  Hammurabi, or  cowld  Clesiastes,  could  espy  her  pranklings,  they'd  burst bounds  agin,  and  renounce  their  ruings,  and  denounce  their  do- ings, for  river  and  iver,  and  a  night.  Amin !
3.  Which  title  is  the  true-to-type  motto-in-lieu  for  that  Tick for  Teac  thatchment  painted  witt  wheth  one  darkness,  where asnake  is  under  clover  and  birds  aprowl  are  in  the  rookeries  and a  magda  went  to  monkishouse  and  a  riverpaard  was  spotted, which  is  not  Whichcroft  Whorort  not  Ousterholm  Dreyschluss not  Haraldsby,  grocer,  not  Vatandcan,  vintner,  not  Houseboat and  Hive  not  Knox-atta-Belle  not  O'Faynix  Coalprince  not Wohn  Squarr  Roomyeck  not  Ebblawn  Downes  not  Le  Decer
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Le  Mieux  not  Benjamin's  Lea  not  Tholomew's  Whaddingtun gnot  Antwarp  gnat  Musca  not  Corry's  not  Weir's  not  the  Arch not  The  Smug  not  The  Dotch  House  not  The  Uval  nothing Grand  nothing  Splendid  (Grahot  or  Spletel)  nayther  Erat  Est Erit  noor  Non  michi  sed  luciphro?
Answer:  Thine  obesity,  O  civilian,  hits  the  felicitude  of  our orb!
4.  What  Irish  capitol  city  (a  dea  o  dea!)  of  two  syllables  and six  letters,  with  a  deltic  origin  and  a  nuinous  end,  (ah  dust  oh dust!)  can  boost  of  having  a)  the  most  extensive  public  park  in the  world,  3)  the  most  expensive  brewing  industry  in  the  world, c)  the  most  expansive  peopling  thoroughfare  in  the  world,  ^Z)  the most  phillohippuc  theobibbous  paupulation  in  the  world:  and harmonise  your  abecedeed  responses?
Answer:  d)  Delfas.  And  when  ye'll  hear  the  gould  hommers of  my  heart,  my  floxy  loss,  bingbanging  again  the  ribs  of  yer resistance  and  the  tenderbolts  of  my  rivets  working  to  your destraction  ye' 11  be  sheverin  wi'  all  yer  dinful  sobs  when  well  go riding  acope-acurly,  you  with  yer  orange  garland  and  me  with my  conny  cordial,  down  the  greaseways  of  rollicking  into  the waters  of  wetted  life,  h)  Dorhqk.  And  sure  where  can  you  have such  good  old  chimes  anywhere,  and  leave  you,  as  on  the  Mash and  how'tis  I  would  be  engaging  you  with  my  plovery  soft  ac- cents and  descanting  upover  the  scene  beunder  me  of  your  loose vines  in  their  hairafall  with  them  two  loving  loofs  braceleting  the slims  of  your  ankles  and  your  mouth's  flower  rose  and  sinking ofter  the  soapstone  of  silvry  speech,  c)  Nublid.  Isha,  why wouldn't  we  be  happy,  avoumeen,  on  the  mills'money  he'll soon  be  leaving  you  as  soon  as  I've  my  own  owned  brooklined Georgian  mansion's  lawn  to  recruit  upon  by  Doctor  Cheek's special  orders  and  my  copper's  panful  of  soybeans  and  Irish  in my  east  hand  and  a  James's  Gate  in  my  west,  after  all  the  errears and  erroriboose  of  combarative  embottled  history,  and  your goodself  churning  over  the  newleaved  butter  {more  power  to you),  the  choicest  and  the  cheapest  from  Atlanta  to  Oconee, while  ril  be  drowsing  in  the  gaarden.  d)  Dalway.  I  hooked  my
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thoroughgoing  trotty  the  first  down  Spanish  Place,  Mayo  I  make, Tuam  I  take,  Sligo's  sleek  but  Galway's  grace.  Holy  eel  and Sainted  Salmon,  chucking  chub  and  ducking  dace,  Rodiron's  not your  aequal!  says  she,  leppin  half  the  lane,  abed)  A  bell  a  bell  on Shalldoll  Steepbell,  ond  be'll  go  massplon  pristmoss  speople, Shand  praise  gon  ness  our  fayst  moan  neople^  our  prame  Shan- deepen^  pay  name  muy  feepence^  moy  nay  non  Aequallllllll!
5.  Whad  slags  of  a  loughladd  would  retten  smuttyflesks,  empt- out  old  mans,  melk  vitious  geit,  scareoff  jackinjills  fra  tiddle anding,  smoothpick  waste  papish  pastures,  insides  man  outsiders angell,  sprink  dirted  water  around  village,  newses,  tobaggon  and sweeds,  plain  general  kept,  louden  on  the  kirkpeal,  foottreats given  to  malafides,  outshriek  hyelp  hyelp  nor  his  hair  efter buggelawrs,  might  underhold  three  barnets,  putzpolish  crotty bottes,  nightcoover  all  fireglims,  serve's  time  till  baass,  grind- stone his  kniveses,  fullest  boarded,  lewd  man  of  the  method  of godliness,  perchance  he  nieows  and  thans  sits  in  the  spoorwaggen, X.W.C.A.  on  Z.W.C.U.,  Doorsteps,  Limited,  or  Baywindaws Bros  swobber  preferred.  Walther  Clausetter's  and  Sons  with  the H.  E.  Chimneys'  Company  to  not  skreve,  will,  on  advices,  be bacon  or  stable  hand,  must  begripe  fullstandingly  irers'  langurge, jublander  or  northquain  bigger  prefurred,  all  duties,  kine  rights, family  fewd,  outings  fived,  may  get  earnst,  no  get  combitsch, profusional  drinklords  to  please  obstain,  he  is  fatherlow  soun- digged  inmoodmined  pershoon  but  aleconnerman,  nay,  that  must he  isn't?
Answer:  Pore  ole  Joe!
6.  What  means  the  saloon  slogan  Summon  In  The  House- sweep  Dinah.'^
Answer:  Tok.  Calory  bit  of  the  sales  of  Cloth  nowand  I  have to  beeswax  the  bringing  in  all  the  claub  of  the  porks  to  us  how  I thawght  I  knew  his  stain  on  the  flower  if  me  ask  and  can  could speak  and  he  called  by  me  midden  name  Tik.  I  am  your  honey honeysugger  phwhtphwht  tha  Bay  and  who  bruk  the  dandleass and  who  seen  the  blackcullen  jam  for  Tomorrha's  big  pickneck I  hope  it'll  pour  prais  the  Climate  of  all  Ireland  I  heard  the
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grackles  and  I  skimming  the  crock  on  all  your  sangwidges  fip- pence  per  leg  per  drake.  Tuk.  And  who  eight  the  last  of  the  goose- bellies  that  was  mowlding  from  measlest  years  and  who  lefF  that there  and  who  put  that  here  and  who  let  the  kilkenny  stale  the chump.  Tek.  And  whowasit  youwasit  propped  the  pot  in  the yard  and  whatinthe  nameofsen  lukeareyou  rubbinthe  sideofthe flureofthe  lobbywith.  Shite!  will  you  have  a  plateful.'^  Tak.
7.  Who  are  those  component  partners  of  our  societate,  the doorboy,  the  cleaner,  the  sojer,  the  crook,  the  squeezer,  the  loun- ger, the  cufman,  the  tourabout,  the  mussroomsnifFer,  the  bleaka- blue  tramp,  the  funpowtherplother,  the  christymansboxer,  from their  pres  sales  and  Donnybrook  prater  and  Roebuck's  campos and  the  Ager  Arountown  and  Crumglen's  grassy  but  Kimmage's champ  and  Ashtown  fields  and  Cabra  fields  and  Finglas  fields and  Santry  fields  and  the  feels  of  Raheny  and  their  fails  and  Bal- doygle  to  them  who  are  latecomers  all  the  year's  round  by  anti- cipation, are  the  porters  of  the  passions  in  virtue  of  retroratioci- nation,  and,  contributting  their  conflingent  controversies  of differentiation,  unify  their  voxes  in  a  vote  of  vaticination,  who crunch  the  crusts  of  comfort  due  to  depredation,  drain  the  mead for  misery  to  incur  intoxication,  condone  every  evil  by  practical justification  and  condam  any  good  to  its  own  gratification,  who are  ruled,  roped,  duped  and  driven  by  those  numen  daimons, the  feekeepers  at  their  laws,  nightly  consternation,  fortnightly fornication,  monthly  miserecordation  and  omniannual  recreation, doyles  when  they  deliberate  but  sullivans  when  they  are swordsed.  Matey,  Teddy,  Simon,  Jorn,  Pedher,  Andy,  Barty, Philly,  Jamesy  Mor  and  Tom,  Matt  and  Jakes  Mac  Carty.'^
Answer:  The  Morphios!
8.  And  how  war  yore  maggies.^
Answer:  They  war  loving,  they  love  laughing,  they  laugh weeping,  they  weep  smelling,  they  smell  smiling,  they  smile  hat- ing, they  hate  thinking,  they  think  feeling,  they  feel  tempting, they  tempt  daring,  they  dare  waiting,  they  wait  taking,  they  take thanking,  they  thank  seeking,  as  born  for  lorn  in  lore  of  love  to live  and  wive  by  wile  and  rile  by  rule  of  ruse  'reathed  rose  and
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hose  hol'd  home,  yeth  cometh  elope  year,  coach  and  four.  Sweet Peck-at-my-Heart  picks  one  man  more.
9.  Now,  to  be  on  anew  and  basking  again  in  the  panaroma  of alLflores  of  speech,  if  a  human  being  duly  fatigued  by  his  dayety in  the  sooty,  having  plenxty  off  time  on  his  gouty  hands  and  va- cants  of  space  at  his  sleepish  feet  and  as  hapless  behind  the  dreams of  accuracy  as  any  camelot  prince  of  dinmurk,  were  at  this  auc- tual  futule  preteriting  unstant,  in  the  states  of  suspensive  exani- mation,  accorded,  throughout  the  eye  of  a  noodle,  with  an  ear- sighted  view  of  old  hopeinhaven  with  all  the  ingredient  and egregiunt  whights  and  ways  to  which  in  the  curse  of  his  persis- tence the  course  of  his  tory  will  had  been  having  recourses,  the reverberration  of  knotcracking  awes,  the  reconjungation  of nodebinding  ayes,  the  redissolusingness  of  mindmouldered  ease and  the  thereby  hang  of  the  Hoel  of  it,  could  such  a  none,  whiles even  led  comesilencers  to  comeliewithhers  and  till  intempes- tuous  Nox  should  catch  the  gallicry  and  spot  lucan's  dawn,  by- hold  at  ones  what  is  main  and  why  tis  twain,  how  one  once meet  melts  in  tother  wants  poignings,  the  sap  rising,  the  foles falling,  the  nimb  now  nihilant  round  the  girlyhead  so  becoming, the  wrestless  in  the  womb,  all  the  rivals  to  allsea,  shakeagain,  O disaster!  shakealose.  Ah  how  starring!  but  Heng's  got  a  bit of  Horsa's  nose  and  Jeff's  got  the  signs  of  Ham  round  his mouth  and  the  beau  that  spun  beautiful  pales  as  it  palls,  what roserude  and  oragious  grows  gelb  and  greem,  blue  out  the  ind  of it!  Violet's  dyed!  then  what  would  that  fargazer  seem  to  seemself to  seem  seeming  of,  dimm  it  all?
Answer:  A  coUideorscape !
10.  What  bitter's  love  but  yurning,  what'  sour  lovemutch  but a  bref  burning  till  shee  that  drawes  dothe  smoake  retourne?
Answer:  I  know,  pepette,  of  course,  dear,  but  listen,  precious! Thanks,  pette,  those  are  lovely,  pitounette,  delicious!  But  mind the  wind,  sweet!  What  exquisite  hands  you  have,  you  angiol,  if you  didn't  gnaw  your  nails,  isn't  it  a  wonder  you're  not  achamed of  me^  you  pig,  you  perfect  Httle  pigaleen!  I'll  nudge  you  in  a minute!  I  bet  you  use  her  best  Perisian  smear  off  her  vanity  table
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to  make  them  look  so  rosetop  glowstop  nostop.  I  know  her. Slight  me,  would  she?  For  every  got  I  care !  Three  creamings  a day,  the  first  during  her  shower  and  wipe  off  with  tissue.  Then after  cleanup  and  of  course  before  retiring.  Berne  shawl,  when  I think  of  that  espos  of  a  Clancarbry,  the  foodbrawler,  of  the  socia- tionist  party  with  hiss  blackleaded  chest,  hello,  Prendregast! that  you,  Innkipper,  and  all  his  fourteen  other  fullback  maulers or  hurling  stars  or  whatever  the  dagos  they  are,  baiting  at  my Lord  Ornery's,  just  becups  they  won  the  egg  and  spoon  there so  ovally  provencial  at  Balldole.  My  Eilish  assent  he  seed  makes his  admiracion.  He  is  seeking  an  opening  and  means  to  be  first with  me  as  his  belle  alliance.  Andoo  musnoo  play  zeloso!  Soso do  todas.  Such  is  Spanish.  Stoop  alittle  closer,  fealse!  Delight- some simply!  Like  Jolio  and  Romeune.  I  haven't  fell  so  turkish for  ages  and  ages!  Mine's  me  of  squisious,  the  chocolate  with a  soul.  Extraordinary!  Why,  what  are  they  all,  the  mucky  lot of  them  only.^  Sht!  I  wouldn't  pay  three  hairpins  for  them.  Peppt! That's  rights,  hold  it  steady!  Leg  me  pull.  Pu!  Come  big  to  Iran. Poo!  What  are  you  nudging  for.^  No,  I  just  thought  you  were. Listen,  loviest!  Of  course  it  was  too  kind  of  you,  miser,  to  re- member my  sighs  in  shockings,  my  often  expressed  wish  when you  were  wandering  about  my  trousseaurs  and  before  I  forget  it don't  forget,  in  your  extensions  to  my  personality,  when  knotting my  remembrancetie,  shoeweek  will  be  trotting  back  with  red heels  at  the  end  of  the  moon  but  look  what  the  fool  bought cabbage  head  and,  as  I  shall  answer  to  gracious  heaven,  I'll always  in  always  remind  of  snappy  new  girters,  me  being  always the  one  for  charms  with  my  very  best  in  proud  and  gloving even  if  he  was  to  be  vermillion  miles  my  youth  to  live  on, the  rubberend  Mr  Polkingtone,  the  quonian  fleshmonger  who Mother  Browne  solicited  me  for  unlawful  converse  with,  with her  mug  of  October  (a  pots  on  it!),  creaking  around  on  his  old shanksaxle  like  a  crosty  old  cornquake.  Airman,  waterwag,  terrier, blazer!  I'm  fine,  thanks  ever!  Ha!  O  mind  you  poo  tickly.  Sail  I puhim  in  momou.  Mummum.  Funny  spot  to  have  a  fingey!  I'm terribly  sorry,  I  swear  to  you  I  am !  May  you  never  see  me  in  my
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birthday  pelts  seenso  tutu  and  that  her  blanches  mainges  may  rot leprous  off  her  whatever  winking  maggis  Fll  bet  by  your  cut you  go  fleurting  after  with  all  the  glass  on  her  and  the  jumps in  her  stomewhere!  Haha!  I  suspected  she  was!  Sink  her!  May they  fire  her  for  a  barren  ewe!  So  she  says:  Tay  for  thee?  Well,  I saith:  Angst  so  mush:  and  desired  she  might  not  take  it  amiss  if  I esteemed  her  but  an  odd.  If  I  did  ate  toughturf  Fm  not  a  mishy- missy.  Of  course  I  know,  pettest,  you're  so  learningful  and considerate  in  yourself,  so  friend  of  vegetables,  you  long  cold  cat you!  Please  by  acquiester  to  meek  my  acquointance !  Codling, snakelet,  iciclist!  My  diaper  has  more  life  to  it!  Who  drowned you  in  drears,  man,  or  are  you  pillale  with  ink?  Did  a  weep  get past  the  gates  of  your  pride?  My  tread  on  the  clover,  sweetness? Yes,  the  buttercups  told  me,  hug  me,  damn  it  all,  and  I'll  kiss you  back  to  life,  my  peachest.  I  mean  to  make  you  suffer, meddlar,  and  I  don't  care  this  fig  for  contempt  of  courting. That  I  chid  you,  sweet  sir?  You  know  I'm  tender  by  my  eye. Can't  you  read  by  dazzling  ones  through  me  true?  Bite  my laughters,  drink  my  tears.  Pore  into  me,  volumes,  spell  me  stark and  spill  me  swooning.  I  just  don't  care  what  my  thwarters think.  Transname  me  loveliness,  now  and  here  me  for  all  times ! I'd  risk  a  policeman  passing  by,  Magrath  or  even  that  beggar  of a  boots  at  the  Post.  The  flame?  O,  pardone!  That  was  what? Ah,  did  you  speak,  stuffstuff?  More  poestries  from  Chickspeer's with  gleechoreal  music  or  a  jaculation  from  the  garden  of  the soul.  Of  I  be  leib  in  the  immoralities?  O,  you  mean  the  strangle for  love  and  the  sowiveall  of  the  prettiest?  Yep,  we  open  hap coseries  in  the  home.  And  once  upon  a  week  I  improve  on  myself I'm  so  keen  on  that  New  Free  Woman  with  novel  inside.  I'm always  as  tickled  as  can  be  over  Man  in  a  Surplus  by  the  Lady who  Pays  the  Rates.  But  Fm  as  pie  as  is  possible.  Let's  root out  Brimstoker  and  give  him  the  thrall  of  our  lives.  It's  Dracula's nightout.  For  creepsake  don't  make  a  flush!  Draw  the  shades, curfe  you,  and  Fll  beat  any  sonnamonk  to  love.  Holy  bug,  how my  highness  would  jump  to  make  you  flame  your  halve  a  ban- nan  in  two  when  I'd  run  my  burning  torchlight  through  (to  adore
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me  there  and  then  cease  to  be?  Whatever  for,  blossoms?)  Your hairmejig  if  you  had  one.  If  I  am  laughing  with  you?  No, lovingest,  Fm  not  so  dying  to  take  my  rise  out  of  you,  adored. Not  in  the  very  least.  True  as  God  made  my  Mamaw  hiplength modesty  coatmawther!  It's  only  because  the  rison  is  Fm  only  any girl,  you  lovely  fellow  of  my  dreams,  and  because  old  somebooby is  not  a  roundabout,  my  trysting  of  the  tulipies,  like  that  puff pape  bucking  Daveran  assoiling  us  behinds.  What  a  nerve! He  thinks  that's  what  the  vesprey's  for.  How  vain's  that  hope  in cleric's  heart  Who  still  pursues  th'adult'  rous  art.  Cocksure  that rusty  gown  of  his  Will  make  fair  Sue  forget  his  phiz!  Tame Schwipps.  Blessed  Marguerite  bosses,  I  hope  they  threw  away the  mould  or  else  we'll  have  Ballshossers  and  Sourdamapplers with  their  medical  assassiations  all  over  the  place.  But  hold  hard till  I've  got  my  latchkey  vote  and  I'll  teach  him  when  to  wear what  woman  callours.  On  account  of  the  gloss  of  the  gleison Hasaboobrawbees  isabeaubel.  And  because,  you  pluckless  lanka- loot,  I  hate  the  very  thought  of  the  thought  of  you  and  because, dearling,  of  course,  adorest,  I  was  always  meant  for  an  engin- dear  from  the  French  college,  to  be  musband,  nomme  d'engien^ when  we  do  and  contract  with  encho  tencho  solver  when  you are  married  to  reading  and  writing  which  pleasebusiness  now won't  be  long  for  he's  so  loopy  on  me  and  I'm  so  leapy  like since  the  day  he  carried  me  from  the  boat,  my  saviored  of  eroes, to  the  beach  and  I  left  on  his  shoulder  one  fair  hair  to  guide  hand and  mind  to  its  softness.  Ever  s6  sorry!  I  beg  your  pardon,  I  was listening  to  every  treasuried  word  I  said  fell  from  my  dear  mot's tongue  otherwise  how  could  I  see  what  you  were  thinking  of our  granny?  Only  I  wondered  if  I  threw  out  my  shaving  water. Anyway,  here's  my  arm,  pulletneck.  Gracefully  yours.  Move  your mouth  towards  minth,  more,  preciousest,  more  on  more!  To please  me,  treasure.  Don't  be  a,  I'm  not  going  to!  Sh!  nothing! A  cricri  somewhere!  Buybuy!  Fm  fly!  Hear,  pippy,  under  the limes.  You  know  bigtree  are  all  against  gravstone.  They  hissliis- tenency.  Garnd  ond  mand !  So  chip  chirp  chirrup,  cigolo,  for  the lug  of  Migo !  The  little  passdoor,  I  go  you  before,  so,  and  you're
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at  my  apron  stage.  Shy  is  him,  dovey?  Musforget  there's  an audience.  I  have  been  lost,  angel.  Cuddle,  ye  divil  ye!  It's  our toot-a-toot.  Hearhere!  Sensation!  Let  them,  their  whole  four courtships!  Let  them,  Bigbawl  and  his  boosers'  eleven  makes twelve  territorials.  The  Old  Sot's  Hole  that  wants  wide  streets  to commission  their  noisense  in,  at  the  Mitchells  r.  Nicholls.  Aves Selvae  Acquae  Vallesl  And  my  waiting  twenty  classbirds,  sitting on  their  stiles !  Let  me  finger  their  eurhythmytic.  And  you'll  see if  I'm  selfthought.  They're  all  of  them  out  to  please.  Wait!  In the  name  of.  And  all  the  holly.  And  some  the  mistle  and  it  Saint Yves.  Hoost!  Ahem!  There's  Ada,  Bett,  Celia,  Delia,  Ena, Fretta,  Gilda,  Hilda,  Ita,  Jess,  Katty,  Lou,  (they  make  me  cough as  sure  as  I  read  them)  Mina,  Nippa,  Opsy,  Poll,  Queeniee,  Ruth, Saucy,  Trix,  Una,  Vela,  Wanda,  Xenia,  Yva,  Zulma,  Phoebe, Thelma.  And  Mee!  The  reformatory  boys  is  goaling  in  for  the church  so  we've  all  comefeast  like  the  groupsuppers  and  caught lipsolution  from  Anty  Pravidance  under  penancies  for  myrtle sins.  When  their  bride  was  married  all  my  belles  began  ti  ting. A  ring  a  ring  a  rosaring!  Then  everyone  will  hear  of  it.  Whoses wishes  is  the  farther  to  my  thoughts.  But  I'll  plant  them  a  poser for  their  nomanclatter.  When  they're  out  with  the  daynurse doing  Chaperon  Mall.  Bright  pigeons  all  over  the  whirrld  will fly  with  my  mistletoe  message  round  their  loveribboned  necks and  a  crumb  of  my  cake  for  each  chasta  dieva.  We  keeps  all  and sundry  papers.  In  th'  amourlight,  O  my  darling!  No,  I  swear  to you  by  Fibsburrow  churchdome  and  Sainte  Andree's  Under- shift,  by  all  I  hold  secret  from  my  world  and  in  my  underworld of  nighties  and  naughties  and  all  the  other  wonderwearlds ! Close  your,  notmust  look!  Now  open,  pet,  your  lips,  pepette, like  I  used  my  sweet  parted  lipsabuss  with  Dan  Holohan  of facetious  memory  taught  me  after  the  flannel  dance,  with  the proof  of  love,  up  Smock  Alley  the  first  night  he  smelled  pouder and  I  coloured  beneath  my  fan,  pipetta  mia^  when  you  learned me  the  linguo  to  melt.  Whowham  would  have  ears  like  ours, the  blackhaired !  Do  you  like  that,  sileniiosoF  Are  you  enjoying, this  same  little  me,  my  life,  my  love.^  Why  do  you  like  my
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whisping?  Is  it  not  divinely  deluscious?  But  in't  it  bafforyou? Misty  misU  Tell  me  till  my  thrillme  comes!  I  will  not  break  the seal.  I  am  enjoying  it  still,  I  swear  I  am!  Why  do  you  prefer  its in  these  dark  nets,  if  why  may  ask,  my  sweety  kins?  Sh  sh!  Long- ears  is  flying.  No,  sweetissest,  why  would  that  ennoy  me.^  But don't!  You  want  to  be  slap  well  slapped  for  that.  Your  delighted lips,  love,  be  careful!  Mind  my  duvetyne  dress  above  all!  It's golded  silvy,  the  newest  sextones  with  princess  effect.  For  Rut- land blue's  got  out  of  passion.  So,  so,  my  precious!  O,  I  can  see the  cost,  chare!  Don't  tell  me!  Why,  the  boy  in  sheeps'  lane knows  that.  If  I  sell  whose,  dears.'^  Was  I  sold  here'  tears.'^  You mean  those  conversation  lozenges.'^  How  awful!  The  bold  shame of  me!  I  wouldn't,  chickens,  not  for  all  the  juliettes  in  the  twinkly way!  I  could  snap  them  when  I  see  them  winking  at  me  in  bed. I  didn't  did  so,  my  intended,  or  was  going  to  or  thinking  of. Shshsh!  Don't  start  like  that,  you  wretch!  I  thought  ye  knew  all and  more,  ye  aucthor,  to  explique  to  ones  the  significat  of  their exsy stems  with  your  nieu  nivulon  lead.  It's  only  another  queer fish  or  other  in  Brinbrou's  damned  old  trouchorous  river  again, Gothewishegoths  bless  us  and  spare  her!  And  gibos  rest  from  the bosso !  Excuse  me  for  swearing,  love,  I  swear  to  the  sorrasims  on their  trons  of  Uian  I  didn't  mean  to  by  this  alpin  armlet!  Did  you really  never  in  all  our  cantalang  lives  speak  clothse  to  a  girl's before.^  No!  Not  even  to  the  charmermaid.'^  How  marfellows! Of  course  I  believe  you,  my  own  dear  doting  liest,  when  you tell  me.  As  I'd  live  to,  O,  I'd  love  to!  Liss,  liss!  I  muss  whiss! Never  that  ever  or  I  can  remember  dearstreaming  faces,  you  may go  through  me!  Never  in  all  my  whole  white  life  of  my  match- less and  pair.  Or  ever  for  bitter  be  the  frucht  of  this  hour!  With my  whiteness  I  thee  woo  and  bind  my  silk  breasths  I  thee  bound ! Always,  Amory,  amor  andmore!  Till  always,  thou  lovest! Shshshsh!  So  long  as  the  lucksmith.  Laughs!
II.  If  you  met  on  the  binge  a  poor  acheseyeld  from  Ailing, when  the  tune  of  his  tremble  shook  shimmy  on  shin,  while  his countrary  raged  in  the  weak  of  his  wailing,  like  a  rugilant  pugi- lant  Lyon  O'Lynn;  if  he  maundered  in  misliness,  plaining  his
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;
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plight  or,  played  fox  and  lice,  pricking  and  dropping  hips  teeth, or  wringing  his  handcuffs  for  peace,  the  blind  blighter,  praying Dieuf  and  Domb  Nostrums  foh  thomethinks  to  eath;  if  he weapt  while  he  leapt  and  gufFalled  quith  a  quhimper,  made  cold blood  a  blue  mundy  and  no  bones  without  flech,  taking  kiss, kake  or  kick  with  a  suck,  sigh  or  simper,  a  diffle  to  larn  and  a dibble  to  lech;  if  the  fain  shinner  pegged  you  to  shave  his  im- martial,  wee  skillmustered  shoul  with  his  ooh,  hoodoodoo !  brok- ing wind  that  to  wiles,  woemaid  sin  he  was  partial,  we  don't think,  Jones,  we'd  care  to  this  evening,  would  you?
Answer:  No,  blank  ye!  So  you  think  I  have  impulsivism?  Did they  tell  you  I  am  one  of  the  fortysixths?  And  I  suppose  you heard  I  had  a  wag  on  my  ears?  And  I  suppose  they  told  you  too that  my  roll  of  life  is  not  natural?  But  before  proceeding  to  con- clusively confute  this  begging  question  it  would  be  far  fitter  for you,  if  you  dare !  to  hasitate  to  consult  with  and  consequentially attempt  at  my  disposale  of  the  same  dime-cash  problem  elsewhere naturalistically  of  course,  from  the  blinkpoint  of  so  eminent  a spatialist.  From  it  you  will  here  notice,  Schott,  upon  my  for  the first  remarking  you  that  the  sophology  of  Bitchson  while  driven as  under  by  a  purely  dime-dime  urge  is  not  without  his  cashcash characktericksticks,  borrowed  for  its  nonce  ends  from  the  fiery goodmother  Miss  Fortune  (who  the  lost  time  we  had  the  pleasure we  have  had  our  little  recherche  brush  with,  what,  Schott?)  and as  I  furtlier  could  have  told  you  as  brisk  as  your  D.B.C.  beha- viouristically  paillete  with  a  coat  of  homoid  icing  which  is  in reality  only  a  done  by  chance  ridiculisation  of  the  whoo-whoo and  where's  hairs  theories  of  Winestain.  To  put  it  all  the  more plumbsily.  The  speechform  is  a  mere  sorrogate.  Whilst  the  qua- lity and  tality  (I  shall  explex  what  you  ought  to  mean  by  this  with its  proper  when  and  where  and  why  and  how  in  the  subsequent sentence)  are  alternativomentally  harrogate  and  arrogate,  as  the gates  may  be.
Talis  is  a  word  often  abused  by  many  passims  (I  am  working out  a  quantum  theory  about  it  for  it  is  really  most  tantumising state  of  affairs).  A  pessim  may  frequent  you  to  say:  Have  you  been
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seeing  much  of  Talis  and  Talis  those  times?  optimately  meaning: Will  you  put  up  at  hree  of  irish?  Or  a  ladyeater  may  perhaps  have casualised  as  you  temptoed  her  a  la  sourdine-.  Of  your  plates?  Is Talis  de  Talis,  the  swordswallower,  who  is  on  at  the  Craterium the  same  Talis  von  Talis,  the  penscrusher,  no  funk  you  1  who  runs his  duly  mile?  Or  this  is  a  perhaps  cleaner  example.  At  a  recent postvortex  piece  infustigation  of  a  determinised  case  of  chronic spinosis  an  extension  lecturer  on  The  Ague  who  out  of  matter  of form  was  trying  his  seesers,  Dr's  Het  Ubeleeft,  borrowed  the question:  Why's  which  Suchman's  talis  qualis?  to  whom,  as  a fatter  of  macht,  Dr  Gedankje  of  Stoutgirth,  who  was  wiping  his whistle,  toarsely  retoarted:  While  thou  beast'  one  zoom  of  a whorl!  (Talis  and  Talis  originally  mean  the  same  thing,  hit  it's: Qualis.)
Professor  Loewy-Brueller  (though  as  I  shall  promptly  prove his  whole  account  of  the  Sennacherib  as  distinct  from  the  Shal- manesir  sanitational  reforms  and  of  the  Mr  Skekels  and  Dr Hydes  problem  in  the  same  connection  differs  tow  coelo  from  the fruit  of  my  own  investigations  —  though  the  reason  I  went  to Jericho  must  remain  for  certain  reasons  a  political  secret  — especially  as  I  shall  shortly  be  wanted  in  Cavantry,  I  congratulate myself,  for  the  same  and  other  reasons  —  as  being  again  hope- lessly vitiated  by  what  I  have  now  resolved  to  call  the  dime  and cash  diamond  fallacy)  in  his  talked  off  confession  which  recently met  with  such  a  leonine  uproar  on  its  escape  after  its  confinement Why  am  I  not  horn  like  a  Gentileman  and  why  am  I  now  so  speak- able  about  my  own  eatables  (Feigenbaumblatt  and  Father,  Juda- pest,  5688,  A.M.)  whole-heartedly  takes  off  his  gabbercoat  and wig,  honest  draughty  fellow,  in  his  public  interest,  to  make  us see  how  though,  as  he  says:  *by  Allswill'  the  inception  and  the descent  and  the  endswell  of  Man  is  temporarily  wrapped  in  ob- scenity, looking  through  at  these  accidents  with  the  faroscope  of television,  (this  nightlife  instrument  needs  still  some  subtrac- tional  betterment  in  the  readjustment  of  the  more  refrangible angles  to  the  squeals  of  his  hypothesis  on  the  outer  tin  sides),  I can  easily  believe  heartily  in  my  own  most  spacious  immensity
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as  my  ownhouse  and  microbemost  cosm  when  I  am  reassured  by ratio  that  the  cube  of  my  volumes  is  to  the  surfaces  of  their  sub- jects as  the  sphericity  of  these  globes  (I  am  very  pressing  for  a parliamentary  motion  this  term  which,  under  my  guidance,  would establish  the  deleteriousness  of  decorousness  in  the  morbidis- ation  of  the  modern  mandaboutwoman  type)  is  to  the  fera- city  of  Fairynelly's  vacuum.  I  need  not  anthrapologise  for  any obintentional  (I  must  here  correct  all  that  school  of  neoitalian  or paleoparisien  schola  of  tinkers  and  spanglers  who  say  Fm  wrong parcequeue  out  of  revolscian  from  romanitis  I  want  to  be)  down- trodding  on  my  foes.  Professor  Levi-Brullo,  F.D.  of  Sexe- Weiman-Eitelnaky  finds,  from  experiments  made  by  hinn  with his  Nuremberg  eggs  in  the  one  hands  and  the  watches  cunldron apan  the  oven,  though  it  is  astensably  a  case  of  Ket*s  rebollions cooling  the  Popes  back,  because  the  number  of  squeer  faiths in  weekly  circulation  will  not  be  appreciably  augmented  by  the notherslogging  of  my  cupolar  clods.  What  the  romantic  in  rags pines  after  like  all  tomtompions  haunting  crevices  for  a  deadbeat escupement  and  what  het  importunes  our  Mitleid  for  in  accornish with  the  Mortadarthella  taradition  is  the  poorest  commonon- guardiant  waste  of  time.  His  everpresent  toes  are  always  in retaliessian  out  throuth  his  overpast  boots.  Hear  him  squak! Teek  heet  to  that  looswallawer  how  he  bolo  the  bat!  Tyro  a toray!  When  Mullocky  won  the  couple  of  colds,  when  we  were stripping  in  number  three,  I  would  like  the  neat  drop  that  would malt  in  my  mouth  but  I  fail  to  see  when  (I  am  purposely  refrain- ing from  expounding  the  obvious  fallacy  as  to  the  specific gravitates  of  the  two  deglutables  implied  nor  to  the  lapses lequou  asousiated  with  the  royal  gorge  through  students  of mixed  hydrostatics  and  pneumodipsics  will  after  some  difficulties grapple  away  with  my  meinungs).  Myrrdin  aloer!  as  old  Mar- sellas  Cambriannus  puts  his.  But,  on  Professor  Llewellys  ap Bryllars,  F.D.,  Ph.  Dr's  showings,  the  plea,  if  he  pleads, is  all  posh  and  robbage  on  a  melodeontic  scale  since  his  man's when  is  no  otherman's  quandour  (Mine,  dank  you.^)  while,  for aught  I  care  for  the  contrary,  the  all  is  where  in  love  as  war  and
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the  plane  where  me  arts  soar  you*d  aisy  rouse  a  thunder  from  and where  I  cling  true'tis  there  I  climb  tree  and  where  Innocent  looks best  (pick!)  there's  holly  in  his  ives.
As  my  explanations  here  are  probably  above  your  understand- ings, lattlebrattons,  though  as  augmentatively  uncomparisoned as  Cadwan,  Cadwallon  and  Cadwalloner,  I  shall  revert  to  a  more expletive  method  which  I  frequently  use  when  I  have  to  sermo with  muddlecrass  pupils.  Imagine  for  my  purpose  that  you  are  a squad  of  urchins,  snifflynosed,  goslingnecked,  clothyheaded, tangled  in  your  lacings,  tingled  in  your  pants,  etsitaraw  etcicero. And  you,  Bruno  Nowlan,  take  your  tongue  out  of  your  inkpot  1 As  none  of  you  knows  javanese  I  will  give  all  my  easyfree  trans- lation of  the  old  fabulist's  parable.  Allaboy  Minor,  take  your head  out  of  your  satchel!  Audi^  Joe  Peters!  Exaudi  facts!
The  Mookse  and  The  Gripes.
Gentes  and  laitymen,  fullstoppers  and  semicolonials,  hybreds and  lubberds!
Eins  within  a  space  and  a  weary  wide  space  it  wast  ere  wohned a  Mookse.  The  onesomeness  wast  alltolonely,  archunsitslike, broady  oval,  and  a  Mookse  he  would  a  walking  go  (My  hood! cries  Antony  Romeo),  so  one  grandsumer  evening,  after  a  great morning  and  his  good  supper  of  gammon  and  spittish,  having flabelled  his  eyes,  pilleoled  his  nostrils,  vacticanated  his  ears  and palliumed  his  throats,  he  put  on  his  impermeable,  seized  his  im- pugnable, harped  on  his  crown  and  stepped  out  of  his  immobile De  Rure  Albo  (socolled  becauld  it  was  chalkfull  of  masterplasters and  had  borgeously  letout  gardens  strown  with  cascadas,  pinta- costecas,  horthoducts  and  currycombs)  and  set  off  from  Luds- town  a  spasso  to  see  how  badness  was  badness  in  the  weirdest  of all  pensible  ways.
As  he  set  off  with  his  father's  sword,  his  lancia  spe^ata^  he  was girded  on,  and  with  that  between  his  legs  and  his  tarkeels,  our once  in  only  Bragspear,  he  clanked,  to  my  clinking,  from  veetoes to  threetop,  every  inch  of  an  immortal.
He  had  not  walked  over  a  pentiadpair  of  parsecs  from  his azylium  when  at  the  turning  of  the  Shinshone  Lanteran  near
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Saint  Bowery's-without-his- Walls  he  came  (secunding  to  the  one one  oneth  of  the  propecies,  Amnis  Limina  Permanent)  upon  the most  unconsciously  boggylooking  stream  he  ever  locked  his eyes  with.  Out  of  the  colliens  it  took  a  rise  by  daubing  itself  Ni- non. It  looked  little  and  it  smelt  of  brown  and  it  thought  in  nar- rows and  it  talked  showshallow.  And  as  it  rinn  it  dribbled  like  any lively  purliteasy:  My^  my^  my!  Me  and  me!  Little  down  dream dont  I  love  thee!
And,  I  declare,  what  was  there  on  the  yonder  bank  of  the stream  that  would  be  a  river,  parched  on  a  limb  of  the  olum,  bolt downright,  but  the  Gripes?  And  no  doubt  he  was  fit  to  be  dried for  why  had  he  not  been  having  the  juice  of  his  times.'^
His  pips  had  been  neatly  all  drowned  on  him;  his  polps  were charging  odours  every  older  minute;  he  was  quickly  for  getting the  dresser's  desdaign  on  the  flyleaf  of  his  frons;  and  he  was quietly  for  giving  the  bailiff's  distrain  on  to  the  bulkside  of  his cul  de  Pompe,  In  all  his  specious  heavings,  as  be  lived  by  Opti- mus  Maximus,  the  Mookse  had  never  seen  his  Dubville  brooder- on-low  so  nigh  to  a  pickle.
Adrian  (that  was  the  Mookse  now's  assumptinome)  stuccstill phiz-a-phiz  to  the  Gripes  in  an  accessit  of  aurignacian.  But  All- mookse  must  to  Moodend  much  as  Allrouts,  austereways  or wastersways,  in  roaming  run  through  Room.  Hie  sor  a  stone, singularly  illud,  and  on  hoc  stone  Seter  satt  hue  sate  which  it filled  quite  poposterously  and  by  acclammitation  to  its  fullest justotoryum  and  whereopum  with  his  unfallable  encyclicling upom  his  alloilable,  diupetriark  of  the  wouest,  and  the  athemyst- sprinkled  pederect  he  always  walked  with,  Deusdedit^  cheek  by jowel  with  his  frisherman's  blague,  Bellua  Triumphanes^  his everyway  addedto  wallat's  collectium,  for  yea  longer  he  lieved yea  broader  he  betaught  of  it,  the  fetter,  the  summe  and  the  haul it  cost,  he  looked  the  first  and  last  micahlike  laicness  of  Quartus the  Fifth  and  Quintus  the  Sixth  and  Sixtus  the  Seventh  giving allnight  sitting  to  Lio  the  Faultyfindth.
—  Good  appetite  us,  sir  Mookse!  How  do  you  do  it.^  cheeped the  Gripes  in  a  wherry  whiggy  maudelenian  woice  and  the  jack-
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asses  all  within  bawl  laughed  and  brayed  for  his  intentions  for they  knew  their  sly  toad  lowry  now.  I  am  rarumominum  blessed to  see  you,  my  dear  mouster.  Will  you  not  perhopes  tell  me everything  if  you  are  pleased,  sanity?  All  about  aulne  and  lithial and  allsall  allinall  about  awn  and  liseias?  Ney?
Think  of  it!  O  miserendissimest  retempter!  A  Gripes!
—  Rats!  bullowed  the  Mookse  most  telesphorously,  the  con- cionator,  and  the  sissymusses  and  the  zozzymusses  in  their  ro- benhauses  quailed  to  hear  his  tardeynois  at  all  for  you  cannot wake  a  silken  nouse  out  of  a  hoarse  oar.  Blast  yourself  and  your anathomy  infairioriboos !  No,  hang  you  for  an  animal  rurale!  I am  superbly  in  my  supremest  poncif!  Abase  you,  baldyqueens! Gather  behind  me,  satraps!  Rots!
—  I  am  till  infinity  obliged  with  you,  bowed  the  Gripes,  his whine  having  gone  to  his  palpruy  head.  I  am  still  always  having a  wish  on  all  my  extremities.  By  the  watch,  what  is  the  time,  pace.^
Figure  it!  The  pining  peever!  To  a  Mookse!
—  Ask  my  index,  mund  my  achilles,  swell  my  obolum,  wosh- up  my  nase  serene,  answered  the  Mookse,  rapidly  by  turning clement,  urban,  eugenious  and  celestian  in  the  formose  of  good grogory  humours.  Quote  awhore.'^  That  is  quite  about  what  I came  on  my  missions  with  my  intentions  laudibiliter  to  settle  with you^  barbarousse.  Let  thor  be  orlog.  Let  Pauline  be  Irene.  Let you  be  Beeton.  And  let  me  be  Los  Angeles.  Now  measure  your length.  Now  estimate  my  capacity.  Well,  sour.'^  Is  this  space  of our  couple  of  hours  too  dimensional  for  you,  temporiser.'^  Will you  give  you  up.'^  Como?  Fuert  it?
Sancta  Padentiaf  You  should  have  heard  the  voice  that  an- swered him !  Culla  vosellina,
—  I  was  just  thinkling  upon  that,  swees  Mooksey,  but,  for  all the  rime  on  my  raisins,  if  I  connow  make  my  submission,  I  can- nos  give  you  up,  the  Gripes  whimpered  from  nethermost  of  his wanhope.  Ishallassoboundbewilsothoutoosezit.  My  tumble,  lou- dy  bullocker,  is  my  own.  My  velicity  is  too  fit  in  one  stockend. And  my  spetial  inexshellsis  the  belowing  things  ab  ove.  But  I will  never  be  abler  to  tell  Your  Honoriousness  (here  he  near  lost
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his  limb)  though  my  corked  father  was  bott  a  pseudowaiter, whose  o'cloak  you  ware.
Incredible!  Well,  hear  the  inevitable.
—  Your  temple,  sus  in  crihro!  Semperexcommunicambiambi- sumers.  Tugurios-in-Newrobe  or  Tukurias-in-Ashies.  Novar- ome,  my  creature,  blievend  bleives.  My  building  space  in  lyonine city  is  always  to  let  to  leonlike  Men,  the  Mookse  in  a  most  con- sistorous  allocution  pompifically  with  immediate  jurisdiction constantinently  concludded  (what  a  crammer  for  the  shape- wrucked  Gripes!).  And  I  regret  to  proclaim  that  it  is  out  of  my temporal  to  help  you  from  being  killed  by  inchies,  (what  a thrust!),  as  we  first  met  each  other  newwhere  so  airly.  (Poor little  sowsieved  subsquashed  Gripes!  I  begin  to  feel  contemption for  him!).  My  side,  thank  decretals,  is  as  safe  as  motherour's houses,  he  continued,  and  I  can  seen  from  my  holeydome  what it  is  to  be  wholly  sane.  Unionjok  and  be  joined  to  yok!  Parysis, tu  saisy  crucycrooks,  belongs  to  him  who  parises  himself.  And there  I  must  leave  you  subject  for  the  pressing.  I  can  prove  that against  you,  weight  a  momentum,  mein  goot  enemy!  or  Cos- poFs  not  our  star.  I  bet  you  this  dozen  odd.  This  foluminous dozen  odd.  Quas  primas — but  'tis  bitter  to  compote  my  know- ledge's fructos  of.  Tomes.
Elevating,  to  give  peint  to  his  blick,  his  jewelled  pederect  to the  allmysty  cielung,  he  luckystruck  blueild  out  of  a  few  should- be  santillants,  a  cloister  of  starabouts  over  Maples,  a  lucciolys  in Teresa  street  and  a  stopsign  before  Sophy  Barratt's,  he  gaddered togodder  the  odds  docence  of  his  vellumes,  gresk,  letton  and russicruxian,  onto  the  lapse  of  his  prolegs,  into  umfullth  one- scuppered,  and  sat  about  his  widerproof.  He  proved  it  well  who- onearth  dry  and  drysick  times,  and  vremiamenty  tu  cesses^  to  the extinction  of  Niklaus  altogether  (Niklaus  Alopysius  having  been the  once  Gripes's  popwilled  nimbum)  by  Neuclidius  and  In- exagoras  and  Mumfsen  and  Thumpsem,  by  Orasmus  and  by Amenius,  by  Anacletus  the  Jew  and  by  Malachy  the  Augurer  and by  the  Cappon's  collection  and  after  that,  with  Cheekee's  gela- tine and  Alldaybrandy's  formolon,  he  reproved  it  ehrltogether
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when  not  in  that  order  sundering  in  some  different  order,  aher three  thirty  and  a  hundred  times  by  the  binomial  dioram  and the  penic  walls  and  the  ind,  the  Inklespill  legends  and  the  rure, the  rule  of  the  hoop  and  the  blessons  of  expedience  and  the  jus, the  jugicants  of  Pontius  Pilax  and  all  the  mummyscrips  in  Sick Bokes'  Juncroom  and  the  Chapters  for  the  Cunning  of  the  Chap- ters of  the  Conning  Fox  by  Tail.
While  that  Mooksius  with  preprocession  and  with  propre- cession,  duplicitly  and  diplussedly,  was  promulgating  ipsofacts and  sadcontras  this  raskolly  Gripos  he  had  allbust  seceded  in monophysicking  his  illsobordunates.  But  asawfulas  he  had caught  his  base  semenoyous  sarchnaktiers  to  combuccinate  upon the  silipses  of  his  aspillouts  and  the  acheporeoozers  of  his  haggy- own  pneumax  to  synerethetise  with  the  breadchestviousness  of his  sweeatovular  ducose  sofarfully  the  loggerthuds  of  his  sakel- laries  were  fond  at  variance  with  the  synodals  of  his  spmepooliom and  his  babskissed  nepogreasymost  got  the  hoof  from  his  philio- quus.
—  Efter  thousand  yaws,  O  Gripes  con  my  sheepskins,  yow will  be  belined  to  the  world,  enscayed  Mookse  the  pius.
—  Ofter  thousand  yores,  amsered  Gripes  the  gregary,  be  the goat  of  MacHammud's,  yours  may  be  still,  O  Mookse,  more botheared.
—  Us  shall  be  chosen  as  the  first  of  the  last  by  the  electress  of Vale  Hollow,  obselved  the  Mookse  nobily,  for  par  the  unicum of  Elelijiacks,  Us  am  in  Our  stabulary  and  that  is  what  Ruby  and Roby  fall  for,  blissim.
The  Pills,  the  Nasal  Wash  (Yardly's),  the  Army  Man  Cut,  as british  as  bondstrict  and  as  straightcut  as  when  that  broken- arched  traveller  from  Nuzuland  .  . .
—  Wee,  cumfused  the  Gripes  limply,  shall  not  even  be  the last  of  the  first,  wee  hope,  when  oust  are  visitated  by  the  Veiled Horror.  And,  he  added:  Mee  are  relying  entirely,  see  the  forte- thurd  of  Elissabed,  on  the  weigh tiness  of  mear's  breath.  Puffut!
Unsightbared  embouscher,  relentless  foe  to  social  and  business succes !  (Hourihaleine)  It  might  have  been  a  happy  evening  but . . .
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And  they  viterberated  each  other,  cams  et  coluber  with  the wildest  ever  wielded  since  Tarriestinus  lashed  Pissasphaltium.
—  Unuchorn!
—  Ungulant!
—  Uvuloid!
—  Uskybeak!
And  bullfolly  answered  volleyball.
Nuvoletta  in  her  lightdress,  spunn  of  sisteen  shimmers,  was looking  down  on  them,  leaning  over  the  bannistars  and  listening all  she  childishly  could.  How  she  was  brightened  when  Should- rups  in  his  glaubering  hochskied  his  welkinstuck  and  how  she was  overclused  when  Kneesknobs  on  his  zwivvel  was  makeact- -  ing  such  a  paulse  of  himshelp!  She  was  alone.  All  her  nubied companions  were  asleeping  with  the  squirrels.  Their  mivver, Mrs  Moonan,  was  off  in  the  Fuerst  quarter  scrubbing  the  back- steps  of  Number  28.  Fuvver,  that  Skand,  he  was  up  in  Norwood's sokaparlour,  eating  oceans  of  Voking's  Blemish.  Nuvoletta  lis- tened as  she  reflected  herself,  though  the  heavenly  one  with  his constellatria  and  his  emanations  stood  between,  and  she  tried  all she  tried  to  make  the  Mookse  look  up  at  her  (but  he  was  fore  too adiaptotously  farseeing)  and  to  make  the  Gripes  hear  how  coy she  could  be  (though  he  was  much  too  schystimatically  auricular about  his  ens  to  heed  her)  but  it  was  all  mild's  vapour  moist.  Not even  her  feignt  reflection,  Nuvoluccia,  could  they  toke  their gnoses  off  for  their  minds  with  intrepifide  fate  and  bungless curiasity,  were  conclaved  with  Heliogobbleus  and  Commodus and  Enobarbarus  and  whatever  the  coordinal  dickens  they  did as  their  damprauch  of  papyrs  and  buchstubs  said.  As  if  that  was their  spiration!  As  if  theirs  could  duiparate  her  queendim!  As  if she  would  be  third  perty  to  search  on  search  proceedings!  She tried  all  the  winsome  wonsome  ways  her  four  winds  had  taught her.  She  tossed  her  sfumastelliacinous  hair  like  la  princesse  de  la Petite  Bretagne  and  she  rounded  her  mignons  arms  like  Mrs Cornwallis-West  and  she  smiled  over  herself  like  the  beauty  of the  image  of  the  pose  of  the  daughter  of  the  queen  of  the  Em- perour  of  Irelande  and  she  sighed  after  herself  as  were  she  born
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to  bride  with  Tristis  Tristior  Tristissimus.  But,  sweet  madonine, she  might  fair  as  well  have  carried  her  daisy's  worth  to  Florida. For  the  Mookse,  a  dogmad  Accanite,  were  not  amoosed  and  the Gripes,  a  dubliboused  Catalick,  wis  pinefully  obliviscent. — I  see,  she  sighed.  There  are  menner.
The  siss  of  the  whisp  of  the  sigh  of  the  softzing  at  the  stir  of the  ver  grose  O  arundo  of  a  long  one  in  midias  reeds:  and  shades began  to  glidder  along  the  banks,  greepsing,  greepsing,  duusk unto  duusk,  and  it  was  as  glooming  as  gloaming  could  be  in  the waste  of  all  peacable  worlds.  Metamnisia  was  allsoonome  coloro- form  brune;  citherior  spiane  an  eaulande,  innemorous  and  un- numerose.  The  Mookse  had  a  sound  eyes  right  but  he  could  not all  hear.  The  Gripes  had  light  ears  left  yet  he  could  but  ill  see. He  ceased.  And  he  ceased,  tung  and  trit,  and  it  was  neversoever so  dusk  of  both  of  them.  But  still  Moo  thought  on  the  deeps  of the  undths  he  would  profoundth  come  the  morrokse  and  still Gri  feeled  of  the  scripes  he  would  escipe  if  by  grice  he  had  luck enoupes.
Oh,  how  it  was  duusk!  From  Vallee  Maraia  to  Grasyaplaina, dormimust  echo!  Ah  dew!  Ah  dew!  It  was  so  duusk  that  the tears  of  night  began  to  fall,  first  by  ones  and  twos,  then  by  threes and  fours,  at  last  by  fives  and  sixes  of  sevens,  for  the  tired  ones were  wecking,  as  we  weep  now  with  them.  0/  0/  0!  Par  la pluie!
Then  there  came  down  to  the  thither  bank  a  woman  of  no appearance  (I  believe  she  was  a  Black  with  chills  at  her  feet)  and she  gathered  up  his  hoariness  the  Mookse  motamourfully  where he  was  spread  and  carried  him  away  to  her  invisible  dwelling, thats  hights,  Aquila  Rapax^  for  he  was  the  holy  sacred  solem  and poshup  spit  of  her  boshop's  apron.  So  you  see  the  Mookse  he had  reason  as  I  knew  and  you  knew  and  he  knew  all  along.  And there  came  down  to  the  hither  bank  a  woman  to  all  important (though  they  say  that  she  was  comely,  spite  the  cold  in  her  heed) and,  for  he  was  as  like  it  as  blow  it  to  a  hawker's  hank,  she plucked  down  the  Gripes,  torn  panicky  autotone,  in  angeu  from his  limb  and  cariad  away  its  beotitubes  with  her  to  her  unseen
IS8
i
shieling,  it  is,  De  Rore  Coeli.  And  so  the  poor  Gripes  got  wrong; for  that  is  always  how  a  Gripes  is,  always  was  and  always  will  ie. And  it  was  never  so  thoughtful  of  either  of  them.  And  there  were left  now  an  only  elmtree  and  but  a  stone.  Polled  with  pietrous, Sierre  but  saule.  O !  Yes !  And  Nuvoletta,  a  lass.
Then  Nuvoletta  reflected  for  the  last  time  in  her  little  long  life and  she  made  up  all  her  myriads  of  drifting  minds  in  one.  She cancelled  all  her  engauzements.  She  climbed  over  the  bannistars; she  gave  a  childy  cloudy  cry:  Nueel  Nuee\  A  lightdress  fluttered. She  was  gone.  And  into  the  river  that  had  been  a  stream  (for  a thousand  of  tears  had  gone  eon  her  and  come  on  her  and  she  was stout  and  struck  on  dancing  and  her  muddied  name  was  Missis- liffi)  there  fell  a  tear,  a  singult  tear,  the  loveliest  of  all  tears  (I mean  for  those  crylove  fables  fans  who  are  'keen'  on  the  pretty- pretty  commonface  sort  of  thing  you  meet  by  hopeharrods)  for  it was  a  leaptear.  But  the  river  tripped  on  her  by  and  by,  lapping as  though  her  heart  was  brook:  JVhy^  why^  why!  Weh^  0  wehl Vse  so  silly  to  he  flowing  hut  I  no  canna  stay!
No  applause,  please!  Bast!  The  romescot  nattleshaker  will  go round  your  circulation  in  diu  dursus,
Allaboy,  Major,  I'll  take  your  reactions  in  another  place  after themes.  Nolan  Browne,  you  may  now  leave  the  classroom.  Joe Peters,  Fox.
As  I  have  now  successfully  explained  to  you  my  own  natural- bom  rations  which  are  even  in  excise  of  my  vaultybrain  insure me  that  I  am  a  mouth's  more  deserving  case  by  genius.  I  feel  in symbathos  for  my  ever  devoted  friend  and  halfaloafonwashed, Gnaccus  Gnoccovitch.  Darling  gem!  Darling  smallfox!  Horose- shoew!  I  could  love  that  man  like  my  own  ambo  for  being  so baileycliaver  though  he's  a  nawful  curillass  and  I  must  slav  to methodiousness.  I  want  him  to  go  and  live  like  a  theabild  in charge  of  the  night  brigade  on  Tristan  da  Cunha,  isle  of  man- overboard,  where  he'll  make  Number  io6  and  be  near  Inacces- sible. (The  meeting  of  mahoganies,  be  the  waves,  rementious me  that  this  exposed  sight  though  it  pines  for  an  umbrella  of  its own  and  needs  a  shelter  belt  of  the  true  service  sort  to  keep  its
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boles  clean,  —  the  weeping  beeches,  Picea  and  Tillia,  are  in  a wild  state  about  it  —  ought  to  be  classified,  as  Cricketbutt  Will- owm  and  his  two  nurserymen  advisers  suggested,  under  genus Inexhaustible  when  we  refloat  upon  all  the  butternat,  sweet  gum and  manna  ash  redcedera  which  is  so  purvulent  there  as  if  there was  howthorns  in  Curraghchasa  which  ought  to  look  as  plane as  a  lodgepole  to  anybody  until  we  are  introduced  to  that  pine- tacotta  of  Verney  Rubeus  where  the  deodarty  is  pinctured  for  us in  a  pure  stand,  which  we  do  not  doubt  ha  has  a  habitat  of  doing, but  without  those  selfsownseedlings  which  are  a  species  of  proof that  the  largest  individual  can  occur  at  or  in  an  olivetion  such  as East  Conna  Hillock  where  it  mixes  with  foolth  accacians  and common  sallies  and  is  tender)  Vux  Populus^  as  we  say  in  hickory- hockery  and  I  wish  we  had  some  more  glasses  of  arhor  vitae. Why  roat  by  the  roadside  or  awn  over  alum  pot?  Alderman Whitebeaver  is  dakyo.  He  ought  to  go  away  for  a  change  of ideas  and  he'd  have  a  world  of  things  to  look  back  on.  Do,  sweet Daniel!  If  I  weren't  a  jones  in  myself  I'd  elect  myself  to  be  his dolphin  in  the  wildsbillow  because  he  is  such  a  barefooted  rubber with  my  supersocks  pulled  over  his  face  which  I  publicked  in my  bestback  garden  for  the  laetification  of  siderodromites  and to  the  irony  of  the  stars.  You  will  say  it  is  most  unenglish  and I  shall  hope  to  hear  that  you  will  not  be  wrong  about  it.  But  I further,  feeling  a  bit  husky  in  my  truths.
Will  you  please  come  over  and  let  us  mooremoore  murgessly to  each's  other  down  below  our  vices.  I  am  underheerd  by  old billfaust.  Wilsh  is  full  of  curks.  The  coolskittle  is  philip  debli- nite.  Mr  Wist  is  thereover  beyeind  the  wantnot.  Wilsh  and  wist are  as  thick  of  thins  udder  as  faust  on  the  deblinite.  Sgunoshooto estas  preter  la  tapizo  malgranda.  Lilegas  al  si  en  sia  chambro. Kelkefoje  funcktas,  kelkefoje  srumpas  Shultroj.  Houdian  Kiel  vi fartas,  mia  nigra  sinjoro.'*  And  from  the  poignt  of  fun  where  I am  crying  to  arrive  you  at  they  are  on  allfore  as  foibleminded  as you  can  feel  they  are  fablebodied.
My  heeders  will  recoil  with  a  great  leisure  how  at  the  out- break before  trespassing  on  the  space  question  where  even
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michelangelines  have  fooled  to  dread  I  proved  to  mindself  as  to your  sotisfiction  how  his  abject  all  through  (the  quickquid  of  Pro- fessor Ciondolone's  too  frequently  hypothecated  Bettlermensch) is  nothing  so  much  more  than  a  mere  cashdime  however  genteel he  may  want  ours,  if  we  please  (I  am  speaking  to  us  in  the  second person),  for  to  this  graded  intellecktuals  dime  is  cash  and  the cash  system  (you  must  not  be  allowed  to  forget  that  this  is  all contained,  I  mean  the  system,  in  the  dogmarks  of  origen  on spurios)  means  that  I  cannot  now  have  or  nothave  a  piece  of cheeps  in  your  pocket  at  the  same  time  and  with  the  same  man- ners as  you  can  now  nothalf  or  half  the  cheek  apiece  I've  in  mind unless  Burrus  and  Caseous  have  not  or  not  have  seemaultaneous- ly  sysentangled  themselves,  selldear  to  soldthere,  once  in  the dairy  days  of  buy  and  buy.
Burrus,  let  us  like  to  imagine,  is  a  genuine  prime,  the  real choice,  full  of  natural  greace,  the  mildest  of  milkstoffs  yet  un- beaten as  a  risicide  and,  of  course,  obsoletely  unadulterous whereat  Caseous  is  obversely  the  revise  of  him  and  in  fact  not  an ideal  choose  by  any  meals,  though  the  betterman  of  the  two  is meltingly  addicted  to  the  more  casual  side  of  the  arrivaliste  case and,  let  me  say  it  at  once,  as  zealous  over  him  as  is  passably  he. The  seemsame  home  and  histry  seeks  and  hidepence  which  we used  to  be  reading  for  our  prepurgatory,  hot,  Schott.'^  till  Duddy shut  the  shopper  op  and  Mutti,  poor  Mutti!  brought  us  our  poor suppy,  (ah  who!  eh  how!)  in  Acetius  and  Oleosus  and  Sellius Volatilis  and  Petrus  Papricus !  Our  Old  Party  quite  united  round the  Slatbowel  at  Commons:  Pfarrer  Salamoss  himself  and  that sprog  of  a  Pedersill  and  his  Sprig  of  Thyme  and  a  dozen  of  the Murphybuds  and  a  score  and  more  of  the  hot  young  Capels  and Lettucia  in  her  greensleeves  and  you  too  and  me  three,  twinsome bibs  but  hansome  ates,  like  shakespill  and  eggs!  But  there's  many a  split  pretext  bowl  and  jowl;  and  (snob  screwing  that  cork, Schott!)  to  understand  this  as  well  as  you  can,  feeling  how  back- ward you  are  in  your  down-to-the-ground  benches,  I  have  com- pleted the  following  arrangement  for  the  coarse  use  of  stools  and if  I  don't  make  away  with  you  I'm  beyond  Caesar  outnullused.
i6i
The  older  sisars  (Tyrants,  regicide  is  too  good  for  you!)  be- come unbeurrable  from  age,  (the  compositor  of  the  farce  of dustiny  however  makes  a  thunpledrum  mistake  by  letting  off  this pienofarte  effect  as  his  furst  act  as  that  is  where  the  juke  comes in)  having  been  sort-of-nineknived  and  chewly  removed  (this soldier  -  author  -  batman  for  all  his  commontoryism  is  just another  of  those  souftsiezed  bubbles  who  never  quite  got  the Sandhurst  out  of  his  eyes  so  that  the  champaign  he  draws  for  us is  as  flop  as  a  plankrieg)  the  twinfreer  types  are  billed  to  make their  reupprearance  as  the  knew  kneck  and  knife  knickknots  on the  deserted  champ  de  bouteilles,  (A  most  cursery  reading  into  the Persic-Uraliens  hostery  shows  us  how  Fonnumagula  picked  up that  propper  numen  out  of  a  coUuction  of  prifixes  though  to the  permienting  cannasure  the  Coucousien  oafsprung  of  this sun  of  a  kuk  is  as  sattin  as  there's  a  tub  in  Tobolosk)  Osdak della  Vogul  Manna!  But  that  I  dannoy  the  fact  of  wanton  to weste  point  I  could  paint  you  to  that  butter  (cheese  it!)  if  you had  some  wash.  Mordvealive!  Oh  me  none  onsens!  Why  the case  is  as  inessive  and  impossive  as  kezom  hands!  Their  inter- locative  is  conprovocative  just  as  every  hazzy  hates  to  having  a hazbane  in  her  noze.  Caseous  may  bethink  limself  a  thought  of a  caviller  but  Burrus  has  the  reachly  roundered  head  that  goes best  with  thofthinking  defensive  fideism.  He  has  the  lac  of  wis- dom under  every  dent  in  his  lofter  while  the  other  follow's onni  vesy  milky  indeedmymy.  Laughing  over  the  linnuts  and weeping  off  the  uniun.  He  hisn't  the  hey  og  he  lisn't  the  lug, poohoo.  And  each  night  sim  misses  mand  he  winks  he  had  the semagen.  It  was  aptly  and  corrigidly  stated  (and,  it  is  royally needless  for  one  ex  imgue  Leonem  to  say  by  whom)  that  his seeingscraft  was  that  clarety  as  were  the  wholeborough  of  Poutres- bourg  to  be  averlaunched  over  him  pitchbatch  he  could  still  make out  with  his  augstritch  the  green  moat  in  Ireland's  Eye.  Let  me sell  you  the  fulltroth  of  Burrus  when  he  wore  a  younker.  Here it  is,  and  chorming  too,  in  six  by  sevens!  A  cleanly  line,  by  the gods!  A  king  off  duty  and  a  jaw  for  ever!  And  what  a  cheery ripe  outlook,  good  help  me  Deus  v  Deus!  If  I  were  to  speak
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my  ohole  mouthful  to  arinam  about  it  you  should  call  me  the ormuzd  aliment  in  your  midst  of  faime.  Eat  ye  up,  heat  ye  up! sings  the  somun  in  the  salm.  Butyrum  et  mel  comedet  ut  sciat reprobare  malum  et  eligere  honum.  This,  of  course,  also  explains why  we  were  taught  to  play  in  the  childhood:  Der  Haensli  ist ein  Butterhrot^  mein  Butterhrot!  Und  Koebi  iss  dein  Schtinkenkotl JaJjaIJa!
This  in  fact,  just  to  show  you,  is  Caseous,  the  brutherscutch or  puir  tyron:  a  hole  or  two,  the  highstinks  aforefelt  and  anygo prigging  wurms.  Cheesugh!  you  complain.  And  Hi  Hi  High must  say  you  are  not  Hoa  Hoa  Hoally  in  the  wrong!
Thus  we  cannot  escape  our  likes  and  mislikes,  exiles  or  am- busheers,  beggar  and  neighbour  and  —  this  is  where  the  dime- show  advertisers  advance  the  temporal  relief  plea  —  let  us  be tolerant  of  antipathies.  Nex  quovis  burro  num  jit  mercaseusF  I  am not  hereby  giving  my  final  endorsement  to  the  learned  ignorants of  the  Cusanus  philosophism  in  which  old  Nicholas  pegs  it down  that  the  smarter  the  spin  of  the  top  the  sounder  the  span of  the  buttom  (what  the  worthy  old  auberginiste  ought  to  have meant  was:  the  more  stolidly  immobile  in  space  appears  to  me the  bottom  which  is  presented  to  use  in  time  by  the  top  primo- mobilisk  &c.).  And  I  shall  be  misunderstord  if  understood  to give  an  unconditional  sinequam  to  the  heroicised  furibouts  of the  Nolanus  theory,  or,  at  any  rate,  of  that  substrate  of  apart from  hissheory  where  the  Theophil  swoors  that  on  principial  he was  the  pointing  start  of  his  odiose  by  comparison  and  that  whiles eggs  will  fall  cheapened  all  over  the  walled  the  Bure  will  be  dear on  the  Brie.
Now,  while  I  am  not  out  now  to  be  taken  up  as  unintention- ally recommending  the  Silkebjorg  tyrondynamon  machine  for the  more  economical  helixtrolysis  of  these  amboadipates  until I  can  find  space  to  look  into  it  myself  a  little  more  closely  first I  shall  go  on  with  my  decisions  after  having  shown  to  you  in good  time  how  both  products  of  our  social  stomach  (the  excellent Dr  Burroman,  I  noticed  by  the  way  from  his  emended  food theory,  has  been  carefully  digesting  the  very  wholesome  criticism
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I  helped  him  to  in  my  princeps  edition  which  is  all  so  munch to  the  cud)  are  mutuearly  polarised  the  incompatabilily  of  any delusional  acting  as  ambivalent  to  the  fixation  of  his  pivotism. Positing,  as  above,  too  males  pooles,  the  one  the  pictor  of  the other  and  the  omber  the  Skoda  of  the  one,  and  looking  want- ingly  around  our  undistributed  middle  between  males  we  feel we  must  waistfully  woent  a  female  to  focus  and  on  this  stage there  pleasantly  appears  the  cowrymaid  M.  whom  we  shall often  meet  below  who  introduces  herself  upon  us  at  some  precise hour  which  we  shall  again  agree  to  call  absolute  zero  or  the babbling  pumpt  of  platinism.  And  so  like  that  former  son of  a  kish  who  went  up  and  out  to  found  his  farmer's  ashes  we come  down  home  gently  on  our  own  turnedabout  asses  to  meet Margareen.
We  now  romp  through  a  period  of  pure  lyricism  of  shame- bred  music  (technologically,  let  me  say,  the  appetising  entry  of this  subject  on  a  fool  chest  of  vialds  is  plumply  pudding  the  carp before  doevre  hors)  evidenced  by  such  words  in  distress  as  / cream  for  thee^  Sweet  Margareen^  and  the  more  hopeful  0  Mar- gareena!  0  Margareena/  Still  in  the  bowl  is  left  a  lump  of  gold! (Correspondents,  by  the  way,  will  keep  on  asking  me  what  is  the correct  garnish  to  serve  drisheens  with.  Tansy  Sauce.  Enough). The  pawnbreaking  pathos  of  the  first  of  these  shoddy  pieces reveals  it  as  a  Caseous  effort.  Burrus's  bit  is  often  used  for  a  toast. Criniculture  can  tell  us  very  precisely  indeed  how  and  why  this particular  streak  of  yellow  silver  first  appeared  on  (not  in)  the bowel,  that  is  to  see,  the  human  head,  bald,  black,  bronze,  brown, brindled,  betteraved  or  blanchemanged  where  it  might  be  use- fully compared  with  an  earwig  on  a  fullbottom.  I  am  offering this  to  Signorina  Cuticura  and  I  intend  to  take  it  up  and  bring  it under  the  nosetice  of  Herr  Harlene  by  way  of  diverting  his attentions.  Of  course  the  unskilled  singer  continues  to  pervert our  wiser  ears  by  subordinating  the  space-element,  that  is  to sing,  the  ar/a,  to  the  time-factor,  which  ought  to  be  killed,  ill tempor,  I  should  advise  any  unborn  singer  who  may  still  be among  my  heeders  to  forget  her  temporal  diaphragm  at  home
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(the  best  thing  that  could  happen  to  it!)  and  attack  the  roulade with  a  swift  colpo  di  glotdde  to  the  lug  (though  Maace  I  will insist  was  reclined  from  overdoing  this,  his  recovery  often  being slow)  and  then,  O !  on  the  third  dead  beat,  O !  to  cluse  her  eyes and  aiopen  her  oath  and  see  what  spice  I  may  send  her.  How? Cease  thee,  cantatrickee!  I  fain  would  be  solo.  Arouse  thee,  my valour!  And  save  for  e'er  my  true  Bdur!
I  shall  have  a  word  to  say  in  a  few  yards  about  the  acoustic and  orchidectural  management  of  the  tonehall  but,  as  ours  is  a vivarious  where  one  plant's  breaf  is  a  lunger  planner's  byscent and  you  may  not  care  for  argon,  it  will  be  very  convenient  for me  for  the  emolument  to  pursue  Burrus  and  Caseous  for  a  rung or  two  up  their  isocelating  biangle.  Every  admirer  has  seen  my goulache  of  Marge  (she  is  so  like  the  sister,  you  don't  know,  and they  both  dress  ALIKE  !)  which  I  titled  The  Very  Picture  of a  Needlesswoman  which  in  the  presence  ornates  our  national cruetstand.  This  genre  of  portraiture  of  changes  of  mind  in  order to  be  truly  torse  should  evoke  the  bush  soul  of  females  so  I  am leaving  it  to  the  experienced  victim  to  complete  the  general suggestion  by  the  mental  addition  of  a  wallopy  bound  or,  should the  zulugical  zealot  prefer  it,  a  congorool  teal.  The  hatboxes which  composed  Rhomba,  lady  Trabezond  (Marge  in  her  ex- celsis)y  also  comprised  the  climactogram  up  which  B  and  C  may fondly  be  imagined  ascending  and  are  suggestive  of  gentlemen's spring  modes,  these  modes  carrying  us  back  to  the  superimposed claylayers  of  eocene  and  pleastoseen  formation  and  the  gradual morphological  changes  in  our  body  politic  which  Professor Ebahi-Ahuri  of  Philadespoinis  (111)  —  whose  bluebutterbust  I have  just  given  his  coupe  de  grass  to  —  neatly  names  a  hoite  d surprises.  The  boxes,  if  I  may  break  the  subject  gently,  are  worth about  fourpence  pourbox  but  I  am  inventing  a  more  patent  pro- cess, foolproof  and  pryperfect  (I  should  like  to  ask  that  Shedlock Homes  person  who  is  out  for  removing  the  roofs  of  our  criminal classics  by  what  deductio  ad  domunum  he  hopes  de  tacto  to  detect anything  unless  he  happens  of  himself,  movihile  tectu^  to  have  a slade  off)  after  which  they  can  be  reduced  to  a  fragment  of  their
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true  crust  by  even  the  youngest  of  Margees  if  she  will  take  plase to  be  seated  and  smile  if  I  please.
Now  there  can  be  no  question  about  it  either  that  I  having done  as  much,  have  quite  got  the  size  of  that  demilitery  young female  (we  will  continue  to  call  her  Marge)  whose  types  may  be met  with  in  any  public  garden,  wearing  a  very  "dressy"  affair, known  as  an  "ethel"  of  instep  length  and' with  a  real  fur,  reduced to  3/9,  and  muffin  cap  to  tone  (they  are  "angelskin"  this  fall), ostentatiously  hemming  apologetically  over  the  shirtness  of some  "sweet"  garment,  when  she  is  not  sitting  on  all  the  free benches  avidously  reading  about  "it"  but  ovidently  on  the  look out  for  "him"  or  so  "thrilled"  about  the  best  dressed  dolly  pram and  beautiful  elbow  competition  or  at  the  movies  swallowing sobs  and  blowing  bixed  mixcuits  over  "childe"  chaplain's  "latest" or  on  the  verge  of  the  gutter  with  some  bobbedhair  brieffrocked babyma's  toddler  (the  Smythe-Smythes  now  keep  TWO  domes- tics and  aspire  to  THREE  male  ones,  a  shover,  a  butlegger  and a  sectary)  held  hostage  at  armslength,  teaching  His  Infant Majesty  how  to  make  waters  worse.
(I  am  closely  watching  Master  Pules,  as  I  have  regions  to  sus- pect from  my  post  that  her  "little  man"  is  a  secondary  school- teacher under  the  boards  of  education,  a  voted  disciple  of  Infan- tulus  who  is  being  utilised  thus  publicly  by  the  seducente  infanta to  conceal  her  own  more  mascular  personality  by  flaunting frivolish  finery  over  men's  inside  clothes,  for  the  femininny  of that  totamulier  will  always  lack  the  musculink  of  a  verumvirum. My  solotions  for  the  proper  parturience  of  matres  and  the  edu- cation of  micturious  mites  must  stand  over  from  the  moment  till I  tackle  this  tickler  hussy  for  occupying  my  uttentions.)
Margareena  she's  very  fond  of  Burrus  but,  alick  and  alack! she  velly  fond  of  chee.  (The  important  influence  exercised  on everything  by  this  eastasian  import  has  not  been  till  now  fully flavoured  though  we  can  comfortably  taste  it  in  this  case.  I  shall come  back  for  a  little  more  say  farther  on.)  A  cleopatrician  in her  own  right  she  at  once  complicates  the  position  while  Burrus and  Caseous  are  contending  for  her  misstery  by  implicating  her-
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self  with  an  elusive  Antonius,  a  wop  who  would  appear  to  hug a  personal  interest  in  refined  chees  of  all  chades  at  the  same  time as  he  wags  an  antomine  art  of  being  rude  like  the  boor.  This Antonius-Burrus-Caseous  grouptriad  may  be  said  to  equate the  qua/is  equivalent  with  the  older  socalled  talis  on  talis  one just  as  quantly  as  in  the  hyperchemical  economantarchy  the  tan- tum  ergons  irruminate  the  quantum  urge  so  that  eggs  is  to  whey as  whay  is  to  zeed  like  your  golfchild's  abe  boob  caddy.  And  this is  why  any  simple  philadolphus  of  a  fool  you  like  to  dress,  an athemisthued  lowtownian,  exlegged  phatrisight,  may  be  awfully green  to  one  side  of  him  and  fruitfully  blue  on  the  other  which will  not  screen  him  however  from  appealing  to  my  gropesarch- ing  eyes,  through  the  strongholes  of  my  acropoll,  as  a  boosted blasted  bleating  blatant  bloaten  blasphorus  blesphorous  idiot who  kennot  tail  a  bomb  from  a  painapple  when  he  steals  one and  wannot  psing  his  psalmen  with  the  cong  in  our  gregational pompoms  with  the  canting  crew.
No!  Topsman  to  your  Tarpeia!  This  thing,  Mister  Abby,  is nefand.  (And,  taking  off  soutstufFs  and  alkalike  matters,  I  hope we  can  kill  time  to  reach  the  salt  because  there's  some  forceglass neutric  assets  bittering  in  the  soldpewter  for  you  to  plump  your pottage  in).  The  thundering  legion  has  stormed  Olymp  that it  end.  Twelve  tabular  times  till  now  have  I  edicted  it.  Merus Genius  to  Careous  Caseous!  Moriture,  te  salutat!  My  phemous themis  race  is  run,  so  let  Demoncracy  take  the  highmost!  (Abra- ham Tripier.  Those  old  diligences  are  quite  out  of  date.  Read next  answer).  I'll  beat  you  so  Ion.  (Bigtempered.  Why  not  take direct  action.  See  previous  reply).  My  unchanging  Word  is  sacred. The  word  is  my  Wife,  to  exponse  and  expound,  to  vend  and  to velnerate,  and  may  the  curlews  crown  our  nuptias!  Till  Breath us  depart!  Wamen.  Beware  would  you  change  with  my  years.  Be as  young  as  your  grandmother!  The  ring  man  in  the  rong  shop but  the  rite  words  by  the  rote  order!  Uhi  lingua  nuncupassit^  ibi fas!  Adversus  hostem  semper  sac!  She  that  will  not  feel  my  ful- moon  let  her  peel  to  thee  as  the  hoyden  and  the  impudent!  That mon  that  both  no  moses  in  his  sole  nor  is  not  awed  by  conquists
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of  word's  law,  who  never  with  humself  was  fed  and  leaves his  soil  to  lave  his  head,  when  his  hope's  in  his  highlows  from whisking  his  woe,  if  he  came  to  my  preach,  a  proud  pursebroken ranger,  when  the  heavens  were  welling  the  spite  of  their  spout, to  beg  for  a  bite  i-n  our  bark  Noisdanger^  would  meself  and  Mac Jeffet,  four-in-hand,  foot  him  out?  —  ay!  —  were  he  my  own breastbrother,  my  doubled  withd  love  and  my  singlebiassed  hate, were  we  bread  by  the  same  fire  and  signed  with  the  same  salt, had  we  tapped  from  the  same  master  and  robbed  the  same  till, were  we  tucked  in  the  one  bed  and  bit  by  the  one  flea,  homo- gallant  and  hemycapnoise,  bum  and  dingo,  jack  by  churl,  though it  broke  my  heart  to  pray  it,  still  I'd  fear  I'd  hate  to  say!
12.  Sacer  esto^
Answer:  Semus  sumus!
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Shem  is  as  short  for  Shemus  as  Jem  is  joky  for  Jacob.  A  few toughnecks  are  still  getatable  who  pretend  that  aboriginally  he was  of  respectable  stemming  (he  was  an  outlex  between  the  lines of  Ragonar  Blaubarb  and  Horrild  Hairwire  and  an  inlaw  to  Capt. the  Hon.  and  Rev.  Mr  Bbyrdwood  de  Trop  Blogg  was  among his  most  distant  connections)  but  every  honest  to  goodness  man in  the  land  of  the  space  of  today  knows  that  his  back  Hfe  will not  stand  being  written  about  in  black  and  white.  Putting  truth and  untruth  together  a  shot  may  be  made  at  what  this  hybrid actually  was  like  to  look  at.
Shem's  bodily  getup,  it  seems,  included  an  adze  of  a  skull,  an eight  of  a  larkseye,  the  whoel  of  a  nose,  one  numb  arm  up  a sleeve,  fortytwo  hairs  off  his  uncrown,  eighteen  to  his  mock  lip, a  trio  of  barbels  from  his  megageg  chin  (sowman's  son),  the wrong  shoulder  higher  than  the  right,  all  ears,  an  artificial tongue  with  a  natural  curl,  not  a  foot  to  stand  on,  a  handful  of thumbs,  a  blind  stomach,  a  deaf  heart,  a  loose  liver,  two  fifths  of two  buttocks,  one  gleetsteen  avoirdupoider  for  him,  a  manroot of  all  evil,  a  salmonkelt's  thinskin,  eelsblood  in  his  cold  toes,  a bladder  tristended,  so  much  so  that  young  Master  Shemmy  on his  very  first  debouch  at  the  very  dawn  of  protohistory  seeing himself  such  and  such,  when  playing  with  thistlewords  in  their garden  nursery,  Griefotrofio,  at  Phig  Streat  iii,  Shuvlin,  Old Hoeland,  (would  we  go  back  there  now  for  sounds,  pillings  and
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sense?  would  we  now  for  annas  and  annas?  would  we  for  full- score  eight  and  a  liretta?  for  twelve  blocks  one  bob?  for  four  tes- ters one  groat?  not  for  a  dinar!  not  for  jo!)  dictited  to  of  all  his little  brothron  and  sweestureens  the  first  riddle  of  the  universe: asking,  when  is  a  man  not  a  man?:  telling  them  take  their  time, yungfries,  and  wait  till  the  tide  stops  (for  from  the  first  his  day- was  a  fortnight)  and  offering  the  prize  of  a  bittersweet  crab,  a little  present  from  the  past,  for  their  copper  age  was  yet  un- minted,  to  the  winner.  One  said  when  the  heavens  are  quakers, a  second  said  when  Bohemeand  lips,  a  third  said  when  he,  no, when  hold  hard  a  jiffy,  when  he  is  a  gnawstick  and  detarmined to,  the  next  one  said  when  the  angel  of  death  kicks  the  bucket of  life,  still  another  said  when  the  wine's  at  witsends,  and  still another  when  lovely  wooman  stoops  to  conk  him,  one  of  the littliest  said  me,  me,  Sem,  when  pappa  papared  the  harbour,  one of  the  wittiest  said,  when  he  yeat  ye  abblokooken  and  he  zmear hezelf  zo  zhooken,  still  one  said  when  you  are  old  Fm  grey  fall full  wi  sleep,  and  still  another  when  wee  deader  walkner,  and another  when  he  is  just  only  after  having  being  semisized,  an- other when  yea,  he  hath  no  mananas,  and  one  when  dose  pigs they  begin  now  that  they  will  flies  up  intil  the  looft.  All  were wrong,  so  Shem  himself,  the  doctator,  took  the  cake,  the  correct solution  being  —  all  give  it  up?  — ;  when  he  is  a  —  yours  till the  rending  of  the  rocks,  —  Sham.
Shem  was  a  sham  and  a  low  sham  and  his  lowness  creeped  out first  via  foodstuffs.  So  low  was  he  that  he  preferred  Gibsen's  tea- time  salmon  tinned,  as  inexpensive  as  pleasing,  to  the  plumpest roeheavy  lax  or  the  friskiest  parr  or  smolt  troutlet  that  ever  was gaffed  between  Leixlip  and  Island  Bridge  and  many  was  the  time he  repeated  in  his  botulism  that  no  junglegrown  pineapple  ever smacked  like  the  whoppers  you  shook  out  of  Ananias'  cans, Findlater  and  Gladstone's,  Corner  House,  Englend.  None  of your  inchthick  blueblooded  Balaclava  fried-at-belief-stakes  or juicejelly  legs  of  the  Grex's  molten  mutton  or  greasilygristly grunters'  goupons  or  slice  upon  slab  of  luscious  goosebosom with  lump  after  load  of  plumpudding  stufling  all  aswim  in  a
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I
I
swamp  of  bogoakgravy  for  that  greekenhearted  yude!  Rosbif  of Old  Zealand!  he  could  not  attouch  it.  See  what  happens  when your  somatophage  merman  takes  his  fancy  to  our  virgitarian swan?  He  even  ran  away  with  hunself  and  became  a  farsoonerite, saying  he  would  far  sooner  muddle  through  the  hash  of  lentils in  Europe  than  meddle  with  Irrland*s  split  little  pea.  Once  when among  those  rebels  in  a  state  of  hopelessly  helpless  intoxication the  piscivore  strove  to  lift  a  czitround  peel  to  either  nostril,  hic- cupping, apparently  impromptued  by  the  hibat  he  had  with  his glottal  stop,  that  he  kukkakould  flowrish  for  ever  by  the  smell, as  the  czitr,  as  the  kcedron,  like  a  scedar,  of  the  founts,  on  moun- tains, with  limon  on,  of  Lebanon.  O !  the  lowness  of  him  was .  beneath  all  up  to  that  sunk  to!  No  likedbylike  firewater  or  first- served  firstshot  or  gulletburn  gin  or  honest  brewbarrett  beer  either. O  dear  no !  Instead  the  tragic  jester  sobbed  himself  wheywhing- ingly  sick  of  life  on  some  sort  of  a  rhubarbarous  maundarin  yella- green  funkleblue  windigut  diodying  applejack  squeezed  from sour  grapefruice  and,  to  hear  him  twixt  his  sedimental  cupslips when  he  had  gulfed  down  mmmmuch  too  mmmmany  gourds  of it  retching  off  to  almost  as  low  withswillers,  who  always  knew notwithstanding  when  they  had  had  enough  and  were  rightly indignant  at  the  wretch's  hospitality  when  they  found  to  their horror  they  could  not  carry  another  drop,  it  came  straight  from the  noble  white  fat,  jo,  open  wide  sat,  jo,  jo,  her  why  hide  that, jo  jo  jo,  the  winevat,  of  the  most  serene  magyansty  az  archdio- chesse,  if  she  is  a  duck,  she's  a  douches,  and  when  she  has  a feherbour  snot  her  fault,  now  is  it?  artstouchups,  funny  you're grinning  at,  fancy  you're  in  her  yet,  Fanny  Urinia.
Aint  that  swell,  hey?  Peamengro!  Talk  about  lowness!  Any dog's  quantity  of  it  visibly  oozed  out  thickly  from  this  dirty little  blacking  beetle  for  the  very  fourth  snap  the  Tulloch-Turn- bull  girl  with  her  coldblood  kodak  shotted  the  as  yet  unre- muneranded  national  apostate,  who  was  cowardly  gun  and  camera shy,  taking  what  he  fondly  thought  was  a  short  cut  to  Caer  Fere, Soak  Amerigas,  vias  the  shipsteam  Pridewiriy  after  having  buried a  hatchet  not  so  long  before,  by  the  wrong  goods  exeunt,  num-
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mer  desh  to  tren,  into  Patatapapaveri's,  fruiterers  and  musical florists,  with  his  Ciaho,  chavif  Sar  shin^  shillipen?  she  knew  the vice  out  of  bridewell  was  a  bad  fast  man  by  his  walk  on  the spot.
[Johns  is  a  different  butcher's.  Next  place  you  are  up  town  pay him  a  visit.  Or  better  still,  come  tobuy.  You  will  enjoy  cattlemen's spring  meat.  Johns  is  now  quite  divorced  from  baking.  Fattens, kills,  flays,  hangs,  draws,  quarters  and  pieces.  Feel  his  lambs!  Ex! Feel  how  sheap!  Exex!  His  liver  too  is  great  value,  a  spatiality! Exexex!  COMMUNICATED.]
Around  that  time,  moravar,  one  generally,  for  luvvomony hoped  or  at  any  rate  suspected  among  morticians  that  he  would early  turn  out  badly,  develop  hereditary  pulmonary  T.B.,  and do  for  himself  one  dandy  time,  nay,  of  a  pelting  night  blanketed creditors,  hearing  a  coarse  song  and  splash  off  Eden  Quay  sighed and  rolled  over,  sure  all  was  up,  but,  though  he  fell  heavily  and locally  into  debit,  not  even  then  could  such  an  antinomian  be true  to  type.  He  would  not  put  fire  to  his  cerebrum;  he  would not  throw  himself  in  Liffey;  he  would  not  explaud  himself  with pneumantics;  he  refused  to  saffrocake  himself  with  a  sod.  With the  foreign  devil's  leave  the  fraid  born  fraud  diddled  even  death. An:(i^  cabled  (but  shaking  the  worth  out  of  his  maulth:  Guarda- costa  leporello.^  Szasas  Kraicz!)  from  his  Nearapoblican  asylum to  his  jonathan  for  a  brother:  Here  tokay,  gone  tomory,  we're spluched,  do  something,  Fireless.  And  had  answer:  Inconvenient, David.
You  see,  chaps,  it  will  trickle  out,  freaksily  of  course,  but  the tom  and  the  shorty  of  it  is:  he  was  in  his  bardic  memory  low. All  the  time  he  kept  on  treasuring  with  condign  satisfaction  each and  every  crumb  of  trektalk,  covetous  of  his  neighbour's  word, and  if  ever,  during  a  Munda  conversazione  commoted  in  the nation's  interest,  delicate  tippits  were  thrown  out  to  him  touch- ing his  evil  courses  by  some  wellwishers,  vainly  pleading  by scriptural  arguments  with  the  opprobrious  papist  about  trying to  brace  up  for  the  kidos  of  the  thing,  Scally  wag,  and  be  a  men instead  of  a  dem  scrounger,  dish  it  all,  such  as:  Pray,  what  is
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Il
the  meaning,  sousy,  of  that  continental  expression,  if  you  ever came  acrux  it,  we  think  it  is  a  word  transpiciously  like  canaille}: or:  Did  you  anywhere,  kennel,  on  your  gullible's  travels  or during  your  rural  troubadouring,  happen  to  stumble  upon  a certain  gay  young  nobleman  whimpering  to  the  name  of  Low Swine  who  always  addresses  women  out  of  the  one  corner  of his  mouth,  lives  on  loans  and  is  furtivefree  yours  of  age?  with- out one  sigh  of  haste  like  the  supreme  prig  he  was,  and  not  a  bit sorry,  he  would  pull  a  vacant  landlubber's  face,  root  with  ear- waker's  pensile  in  the  outer  of  his  lauscher  and  then,  lisping, the  prattlepate  parnella,  to  kill  time,  and  swatting  his  deadbest to  think  what  under  the  canopies  of  Jansens  Chrest  would  any decent  son  of  an  Albiogenselman  who  had  bin  to  an  university think,  let  a  lent  hit  a  hint  and  begin  to  tell  all  the  intelligentsia admitted  to  that  tamileasy  samtalaisy  conclamazzione  (since,  still and  before  physicians,  lawyers  merchant,  belfry  pollititians,  agri- colous  manufraudurers,  sacrestanes  of  the  Pure  River  Society, philanthropicks  lodging  on  as  many  boards  round  the  panesthetic at  the  same  time  as  possible)  the  whole  Hfelong  swrine  story  of his  entire  low  cornaille  existence,  abusing  his  deceased  ancestors wherever  the  sods  were  and  one  moment  tarabooming  great blunderguns  (poh!)  about  his  farfamed  fine  Poppamore,  Mr Humhum,  whom  history,  climate  and  entertainment  made  the first  of  his  sept  and  always  up  to  debt,  though  Eavens  ears  ow many  fines  he  faces,  and  another  moment  visanvrerssas,  cruach- ing  three  jeers  (pah!)  for  his  rotten  little  ghost  of  a  Peppybeg, Mr  Himmyshimmy,  a  blighty,  a  reeky,  a  Hghty,  a  scrapy,  a  bab- bly,  a  ninny,  dirty  seventh  among  thieves  and  always  bottom sawyer,  till  nowan  knowed  how  howmely  howme  could  be,  giv- ing unsolicited  testimony  on  behalf  of  the  absent,  as  glib  as  eaves- water  to  those  present  (who  meanwhile,  with  increasing  lack  of interest  in  his  semantics,  allowed  various  subconscious  smickers to  drivel  slowly  across  their  fichers),  unconsciously  explaining, for  inkstands,  with  a  meticulosity  bordering  on  the  insane,  the various  meanings  of  all  the  different  foreign  parts  of  speech  he misused  and  cuttlefishing  every  lie  unshrinkable  about  all  the
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other  people  in  the  story,  leaving  out,  of  course,  foreconsciously, the  simple  worf  and  plague  and  poison  they  had  cornered  him about  until  there  was  not  a  snoozer  among  them  but  was  utterly undeceived  in  the  heel  of  the  reel  by  the  recital  of  the  rigmarole.
He  went  without  saying  that  the  cull  disliked  anything  anyway approaching  a  plain  straightforward  standup  or  knockdown  row and,  as  often  as  he  was  called  in  to  umpire  any  octagonal  argu- ment among  slangwhangers,  the  accomplished  washout  always used  to  rub  shoulders  with  the  last  speaker  and  clasp  shakers  (the handtouch  which  is  speech  without  words)  and  agree  to  every word  as  soon  as  half  uttered,  command  me!,  your  servant,  good, I  revere  you,  how,  my  seer?  be  drinking  that!  quite  truth,  grati- as,  Fm  yoush,  see  wha'm  hearing?,  also  goods,  please  it,  me sure?,  be  filling  this!,  quiso,  you  said  it,  apasafello,  muchas grassyass,  is  tliere  firing-on-me?,  is  their  girlic-on-you?,  to  your good  self,  your  sulphur,  and  then  at  once  focuss  his  whole unbalanced  attention  upon  the  next  octagonist  who  managed  to catch  a  listener's  eye,  asking  and  imploring  him  out  of  his piteous  onewinker,  (Jiemoptysia  diadumenos)  whether  there  was anything  in  the  world  he  could  do  to  please  him  and  to  overflow his  tumbletantaliser  for  him  yet  once  more.
One  hailcannon  night  (for  his  departure  was  attended  by  a heavy  downpour)  as  very  recently  as  some  thousand  rains  ago  he was  therefore  treated  with  what  closely  resembled  parsonal  viol- ence, being  soggert  all  unsuspectingly  through  the  deserted  village of  Tumblin-on-the-Leafy  from  Mr  Vanhomrigh's  house  at  8i  bis Mabbot's  Mall  as  far  as  Green  Patch  beyond  the  brickfields  of Salmon  Pool  by  rival  teams  of  slowspiers  counter  quicklimers who  finally,  as  rahilly  they  had  been  deteened  out  rawther  lae- tich,  thought,  busnis  hits  busnis,  they  had  better  be  streaking  for home  after  their  Auborne-to-Auborne,  with  thanks  for  the  pleasant evening,  one  and  all  disgustedly,  instead  of  ruggering  him  back, and  awake,  reconciled  (though  they  were  as  jealous  as  could  be cullions  about  all  the  truffles  they  had  brought  on  him)  to  a friendship,  fast  and  furious,  which  merely  arose  out  of  die  noxious pervert's  perfect  lowness.  Again  there  was  a  hope  that  people,
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\
looking  on  him  with  the  contemp  of  the  contempibles,  after first  gaving  him  a  roll  in  the  dirt,  might  pity  and  forgive  him,  if properly  deloused,  but  the  pleb  was  born  a  Quicklow  and  sank alowing  till  he  stank  out  of  sight.
All  Saints  beat  Belial!  Mickil  Goals  to  Nichil!  Notpossible! Already?
In  Nowhere  has  yet  the  Whole  World  taken  part  of  himself  for  his Wife;
By  Nowhere  have  Poorparents  been  sentenced  to  Worms ^  Blood  and
Thunder  for  Life Not  yet  has  the  Empfrom  Cor psica  forced  the  Arth  out  of Engleterre; Not  yet  have  the  Sachsen  and  Judder  on  the  Mound  of  a  Word  made
Warre;
Not  yet  Witchywithcy  of  Wench  struck  Fire  of  his  Heath  from  on Hoath;
Not  yet  his  Arcohaleine  forespoken  Peacepeace  upon  Oath; Cleftfoot  from  Hempal  must  tumpel,  Blamefool  Gardener  s  bound  to
Broken  Eggs  will  poursuive  bitten  Apples  for  where  theirs  is  Will there  s  his  Wall;
But  the  Mountstill  frowns  on  the  Millstream  while  their  Madsons leap  his  Bier
And  her  Rillstrill  liffs  to  His  Murkesty  all  her  daft  Daughters  laff in  her  Ear,
Till  the  four  Shores  of  deff  Tory  Island  let  the  dou^e  dumm  Eire- whiggs  raille!
HirpI  Hirp!  for  their  Missed  Understandings!  chirps  the  Ballat  of Perce-Oreille,
O  fortunous  casualitas!  Lefty  takes  the  cherubcake  while Rights  cloves  his  hoof.  Darkies  never  done  tug  that  coon  out  to play  non-excretory,  anti-sexuous,  misoxenetic,  gaasy  pure,  flesh and  blood  games,  written  and  composed  and  sung  and  danced by  Niscemus  Nemon,  same  as  piccaninnies  play  all  day,  those old  (none  of  your  honeys  and  rubbers !)  games  for  fun  and  ele- ment we  used  to  play  with  Dina  and  old  Joe  kicking  her  behind and  before  and  the  yellow  girl  kicking  him  behind  old  Joe,
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games  like  Thorn  Thorn  the  Thonderman,  Put  the  Wind  up  the Peeler^  Hat  in  the  Ring,  Prissonyour  P  rite  hards  and  Play  Withers Team,  Mikel  on  the  Lucky  pig.  Nickel  in  the  Slot,  Sheila  Harnett  and her  Cow,  Adam  and  Ell,  Humble  Bumble,  Moggie  s  on  the  Wall, Twos  and  Threes,  American  Jump,  Fox  Come  out  of  your  Den, Broken  Bottles,  W riting  a  Letter  to  Punch,  Tiptop  is  a  Sweetstore, Henressy  Crump  Expolled,  Postmarks  Knock,  Are  We  F airly s  Rep- resented?, Solomon  Silent  reading,  Appletree  Bearstone,  I  know  a Washerwoman,  Hospitals,  As  I  was  Walking,  There  is  Oney one's House  in  Dreamcolohour,  Battle  of  Waterloo,  Colours,  Eggs  in  the Bush,  Habberdasherisher,  Telling  your  Dreams,  Whats  the  Time, Nap,  Ducking  Mammy,  Last  Man  Standing,  Heali  Baboon  and  the Forky  Theagues,  Fickleyes  and  Futilears,  Handmarried  but  once  in my  Life  and  Vll  never  commit  such  a  Sin  agin^  Zip  Cooney  Candy, Turkey  in  the  Straw,  This  is  the  W iy  we  sow  the  Seed  of  a  long  and lusty  Morning,  Hops  of  Fun  at  Milikens  Make,  I  seen  the  Tooth- brush with  Pat  Farrel,  Here's  the  Fat  to  graie  the  Priest  s  Boots, When  his  Steam  was  like  a  Raimbrandt  round  Mac  Garvey,
No  w  it  is  notoriously  known  how  on  that  surprisingly  bludgeony Unity  Sunday  when  the  grand  germogall  allstar  bout  was  harrily the  rage  between  our  weltingtoms  extraordinary  and  our  petty- thicks  the  marshalaisy  and  Irish  eyes  of  welcome  were  smiling daggers  down  their  backs,  when  the  roth,  vice  and  blause  met  the noyr  blank  and  rogues  and  the  grim  white  and  cold  bet  the  black fighting  tans,  categorically  unimperatived  by  the  maxims,  a  rank funk  getting  the  better  of  him,  the  scut  in  a  bad  fit  of  pyjamas fied  like  a  leveret  for  his  bare  lives,  to  Talviland,  ahone  ahaza,  pur- sued by  the  scented  curses  of  all  the  village  belles  and,  without having  struck  one  blow,  (pig  stole  on  him  was  lust  he  lagging  it was  becaused  dust  he  shook)  kuskykorked  himself  up  tight  in his  inkbattle  house,  badly  the  worse  for  boosegas,  there  to  stay in  afar  for  the  life,  where,  as  there  was  not  a  moment  to  be  lost, after  he  had  boxed  around  with  his  fortepiano  till  he  was  whole bach  bamp  him  and  bump  him  blues,  he  collapsed  carefully  under a  bedtick  from  Schwitzer's,  his  face  enveloped  into  a  dead  war- rior's telemac,  with  a  lullobaw's  somnbomnet  and  a  whotwater-
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wottle  at  his  feet  to  stoke  his  energy  of  waiting,  moaning  feebly, in  monkmarian  monotheme,  but  tarned  long  and  then  a  nation louder,  while  engaged  in  swallowing  from  a  large  ampullar,  that his  pawdry's  purgatory  was  more  than  a  nigger  bloke  could  bear, hemiparalysed  by  the  tong  warfare  and  all  the  shemozzle,  {Daily Maily^fullup  Lace!  Holy  Maly,  Mothelup  Joss!)  his  cheeks  and trousers  changing  colour  every  time  a  gat  croaked.
How  is  that  for  low,  laities  and  gentlenuns?  Why,  dog  of  the Crostiguns,  whole  continents  rang  with  this  Kairokorran  low- ness!  Sheols  of  houris  in  chems  upon  divans,  (revolted  Stellas vespertine  vesamong  them)  at  a  bare  (O !)  mention  of  the  scaly rybald  exclaimed:  Poisse!
But  would  anyone,  short  of  a  madhouse,  believe  it?  Neither  of those  clean  little  cherubum,  Nero  or  Nobookisonester  himself, ever  nursed  such  a  spoiled  opinion  of  his  monstrous  marvellosity as  did  this  mental  and  moral  defective  (here  perhaps  at  the vanessance  of  his  lownest)  who  was  known  to  grognt  rather  than gunnard  upon  one  occasion,  while  drinking  heavily  of  spirits  to that  interlocutor  a  latere  and  private  privysuckatary  he  used  to pal  around  with,  in  the  kavehazs,  one  Davy  Browne-Nowlan,  his heavenlaid  twin,  (this  hambone  dogpoet  pseudoed  himself  under the  hangname  he  gave  himself  of  Bethgelert)  in  the  porchway  of a  gipsy's  bar  (Shem  always  blaspheming,  so  holy  writ,  Billy,  he would  try,  old  Belly,  and  pay  this  one  manjack  congregant  of his  four  soups  every  lass  of  nexmouth,  Bolly,  so  sure  as  thair's  a tail  on  a  commet,  as  a  taste  for  storik's  fortytooth,  that  is  to stay,  to  listen  out,  ony  twenny  minnies  moe,  Bully,  his  Ballade Imaginaire  which  was  to  be  dubbed  JVinCy  Woman  and  JVater- .  clocks^  or  How  a  Guy  Finks  and  Fawkes  When  He  Is  Going  Batty ^ by  Maistre  Sheames  de  la  Plume,  some  most  dreadful  stuff  in  a murderous  mirrorhand)  that  he  was  avoopf  (parn  me!)  aware of  no  other  shaggspick,  other  Shakhisbeard,  either  prexactly unlike  his  polar  andthisishis  or  procisely  the  seem  as  woops (parn!)  as  what  he  fancied  or  guessed  the  sames  as  he  was  him- self and  that,  greet  scoot,  duckings  and  thuggery,  though  he  was foxed  fux  to  fux  like  a  bunnyboy  rodger  with  all  the  teashop
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lionses  of  Lumdrum  hivanhoesed  up  gagainst  him,  being  a  lapsis linquo  with  a  ruvidubb  shortartempa,  bad  cad  dad  fad  sad  mad nad  vanhaty  bear,  die  consciquenchers  of  casuality  prepestered crusswords  in  postposition,  scruff,  scruffer,  scrufferumurraimost andallthatsortofthing,  if  reams  stood  to  reason  and  his  lanka- livline  lasted  he  would  wipe  alley  english  spooker,  multapho- niaksically  spuking,  off  the  face  of  the  erse.
After  the  thorough  fright  he  got  that  bloody,  Swithun's  day, though  every  doorpost  in  muchtried  Lucalizod  was  smeared  with generous  erstborn  gore  and  every  free  for  all  cobbleway  slippery with  the  bloods  of  heroes,  crying  to  Welkins  for  others,  and noahs  and  cul  verts  agush  with  tears  of  joy,  our  low  waster  never had  the  common  baalamb's  pluck  to  stir  out  and  about  the  com- pound while  everyone  else  of  the  torchlit  throng,  slashers  and sliced  alike,  mobbu  on  massa,  waaded  and  baaded  around,  yamp- yam  pampyam,  chanting  the  Gillooly  chorus,  from  the  Monster Book  of  Paltryattic  Puetrie,  0 pura  e  pia  bella!  in  junk  et  sampam or  in  secular  sinkalarum,  heads  up,  on  his  bonafide  avocation  (the little  folk  creeping  on  all  fours  to  their  natural  school  treat  but childishly  gleeful  when  a  stray  whizzer  sang  out  intermediately) and  happy  belongers  to  the  fairer  sex  on  their  usual  quest  for higher  things,  but  vying  with  Lady  Smythe  to  avenge  Mac- Jobber,  went  stonestepping  with  their  bickerrstaffs  on  educated feet,  plinkity  plonk,  across  the  sevenspan  ponte  id  colori  set  up over  the  slop  after  the  war-to-end  war  by  Messrs  a  charitable government  for  the  only  once  (dia  dose  Finnados !)  he  did  take a  tompip  peepestrella  throug  a  threedraw  eighteen  hawkspower durdicky  telescope,  luminous  to  larbourd  only  like  the  lamps  in Nassaustrass,  out  of  his  westernmost  keyhole,  spitting  at  the impenetrablum  wetter,  (and  it  was  porcoghastly  that  outumn)  with an  eachway  hope  in  his  shivering  soul,  as  he  prayed  to  the  cloud Incertitude,  of  finding  out  for  himself,  on  akkount  of  all  the kules  in  Kroukaparka  or  oving  to  all  the  kodseoggs  in  Kalatavala, whether  true  conciliation  was  forging  ahead  or  falling  back  after the  celestious  intemperance  and,  for  Duvvelsache,  why,  with  his see  me  see  and  his  my  see  a  corves  and  liis  frokerfoskerfuskar
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layen  loves  in  meeingseeing,  he  got  the  charm  of  his  optical life  when  he  found  himself  {hie  sunt  lennonesf)  at  pointblank range  blinking  down  the  barrel  of  an  irregular  revolver  of the  bulldog  with  a  purpose  pattern,  handled  by  an  unknown quarreler  who,  supposedly,  had  been  told  off  to  shade  and shoot  shy  Shem  should  the  shit  show  his  shiny  shnout  out awhile  to  look  facts  in  their  face  before  being  hosed  and  creased (uprip  and  jack  him!)  by  six  or  a  dozen  of  the  gayboys.
What,  para  Saom  Plaom,  in  the  names  of  Deucalion  and Pyrrha,  and  the  incensed  privy  and  the  licensed  pantry  gods and  Stator  and  Victor  and  Kutt  and  Runn  and  the  whole  mesa redonda  of  Lorencao  Otulass  in  convocacaon,  was  this  dis- interestingly  low  human  type,  this  Calumnious  Column  of Cloaxity,  this  Bengalese  Beacon  of  Biloxity,  this  Annamite  Aper of  Atroxity,  really  at,  it  will  be  precise  to  quarify,  for  he  seems in  a  badbad  case?
The  answer,  to  do  all  the  diddies  in  one  dedal,  would  sound: from  pulling  himself  on  his  most  flavoured  canal  the  huge  chest- house  of  his  elders  (the  Popapreta^  and  some  navico,  navvies!) he  had  flickered  up  and  flinnered  down  into  a  drug  and  drunkery addict,  growing  megalomane  of  a  loose  past.  This  explains  the litany  of  septuncial  lettertrumpets  honorific,  highpitched,  erudite, neoclassical,  which  he  so  loved  as  patricianly  to  manuscribe  after his  name.  It  would  have  diverted,  if  ever  seen,  the  shuddersome spectacle  of  this  semidemented  zany  amid  the  inspissated  grime of  his  glaucous  den  making  believe  to  read  his  usylessly  unread- able Blue  Book  of  Eccles,  edition  de  tenhhres^  (even  yet  sighs  the Most  Different,  Dr.  Poindejenk,  authorised  bowdler  and  censor, it  can't  be  repeated!)  turning  over  three  sheets  at  a  wind,  telling himself  delightedly,  no  espellor  mor  so,  that  every  splurge  on  the vellum  he  blundered  over  was  an  aisling  vision  more  gorgeous than  the  one  before  t.i.t.s.,  a  roseschelle  cottage  by  the  sea  for nothing  for  ever,  a  ladies  tryon  hosiery  raffle  at  liberty,  a  sewer- ful  of  guineagold  wine  with  brancomongepadenopie  and  sick- cylinder  oysters  worth  a  billion  a  bite,  an  entire  operahouse (there  was  to  be  stamping  room  only  in  the  prompter's  box  and
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everthemore  his  queque  kept  swelling)  of  enthusiastic  noble- women flinging  every  coronetcrimsoned  stitch  they  had  ofF  at his  probscenium,  one  after  the  others,  inamagoaded  into  ajustil- loosing  themselves,  in  their  gaiety  pantheomime,  when,  egad,  sir, acordant  to  all  acountstrick,  he  squealed  the  topsquall  im  Deal Lil  Shemlockup  Yellin  (geewhiz,  jew  ear  that  far!  soap  ewer! loutgout  of  sabaous!  juice  like  a  boyd!)  for  fully  five  minutes,  in- finitely better  than  Baraton  Mc  Gluckin  with  a  scrumptious  cocked hat  and  three  green,  cheese  and  tangerine  trinity  plumes  on  the right  handle  side  of  his  amarellous  head,  a  coat  macfarlane  (the kerssest  cut,  you  understand?)  a  sponiard's  digger  at  his  ribs, {Alfaiate  punxii)  an  azulblu  blowsheet  for  his  blousebosom blossom  and  a  dean's  crozier  that  he  won  from  Cardinal  Lin- dundarri  and  Cardinal  Carchingarri  and  Cardinal  Loriotuli  and Cardinal  Occidentaccia  (ah  ho!)  in  the  dearby  darby  doubled  for falling  first  over  the  hurdles,  madam,  in  the  odder  hand,  a.a.t.s.o.t., but  what  with  the  murky  light,  the  botchj_£rint,  the  tattered coyer,  the  jigjagged  page,  the  fumbling  fingers,  the  foxtrotting fleas,  the  lieabed  lice,  the  scum  on  his  tongue,  the  drop  in  his eye,  the  lump  in  his  throat,  the  drink  in  his  pottle,  the  itch  in  his palm,  the  wail  of  his  wind,  the  grief  from  his  breath,  the  fog  of his  mindfag,  the  buzz  in  his  braintree,  the  tic  of  his  conscience, the  height  up  his  rage,  the  gush  down  his  fundament,  the  fire in  his  gorge,  the  tickle  of  his  tail,  the  bane  in  his  bullugs,  the squince  in  his  suil,  the  rot  in  his  eater,  the  ycho  in  his  earer, the  totters  of  his  toes,  the  tetters  on  his  tumtytum,  the  rats  in  his garret,  the  bats  in  his  belfry,  the  budgerigars  and  bumbosolom beaubirds,  the  hullabaloo  and  the  dust  in  his  ears  since  it  took  him a  month  to  steal  a  march  he  was  hardset  to  mumorise  more  than a  word  a  week.  Hake's  haulin!  Hook's  fisk!  Can  you  beat  it? Whawe!  I  say,  can  you  bait  it?  Was  there  ever  heard  of  such lowdown  blackguardism?  Positively  it  woolies  one  to  think over  it.
Yet  the  bumpersprinkler  used  to  boast  aloud  alone  to  himself with  a  haccent  on  it  when  Mynfadher  was  a  boer  constructor  and Hoy  was  a  lexical  student,  parole,  and  corrected  with  the  black-
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board  (trying  to  copy  the  stage  Englesemen  he  broughts  their house  down  on,  shouting:  Bravure,  surr  Chorles!  Letter  purfect! Culossal,  Loose  Wallor!  Spache!)  how  he  had  been  toed  out  of all  the  schicker  families  of  the  klondykers  from  Pioupioureich, Swabspays,  the  land  of  Nod,  Shruggers*  Country,  Pension Danubierhome  and  Barbaropolis,  who  had  settled  and  stratified in  the  capital  city  after  its  hebdomodary  metropoliarchialisation as  sunblistered,  moonplastered,  gory,  wheedling,  joviale,  litche- rous  and  full,  ordered  off  the  gorgeous  premises  in  most  cases  on account  of  his  smell  which  all  cookmaids  eminently  objected  to as  ressembling  the  bombinubble  puzzo  that  welled  out  of  the pozzo.  Instead  of  chuthoring  those  model  households  plain wholesome  pothooks  (a  thing  he  never  possessed  of  his  Nigerian own)  what  do  you  think  Vulgariano  did  but  study  with  stolen  ( fruit  how  cutely  to  copy  all  their  various  styles  of  signature  so  aS|' one  day  to  utter  an  epical  forged  cheque  on  the  public  for  his  own' private  profit  until,  as  just  related,  the  Dustbin's  United  Scullery- maid's  and  Househelp's  Sorority,  better  known  as  Sluttery's Mowlted  Futt,  turned  him  down  and  assisted  nature  by  unitedly shoeing  the  source  of  annoyance  out  of  the  place  altogether  and taytotally  on  the  heat  of  the  moment,  holding  one  another's gonk  (for  no-one,  hound  or  scrublady,  not  even  the  Turk,  un- greekable  in  purscent  of  the  armenable,  dared  whiff  the  polecat at  close  range)  and  making  some  pointopointing  remarks  as  they done  so  at  the  perfects  of  the  Sniffey,  your  honour,  aboon  the lyow  why  a  stunk,  mister.
[Jymes  wishes  to  hear  from  wearers  of  abandoned  female  cos- tumes, gratefully  received,  wadmel  jumper,  rather  full  pair  of culottes  and  onthergarmenteries,  to  start  city  life  together.  His jymes  is  out  of  job,  would  sit  and  write.  He  has  lately  commited one  of  the  then  commandments  but  she  will  now  assist.  Superior built,  domestic,  regular  layer.  Also  got  the  boot.  He  appreciates it.  Copies.  ABORTISEMENT.]
One  cannot  even  begin  to  post  figure  out  a  statuesquo  ante as  to  how  slow  in  reality  the  excommunicated  Drumcondriac, nate  Hamis,  really  was.  Who  can  say  how  many  pseudostylic
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shamiana,  how  few  or  how  many  of  the  most  venerated  public impostures,  how  very  many  piously  forged  palimpsests  slipped in  the  first  place  by  this  morbid  process  from  his  pelagiarist  pen?
Be  that  as  it  may,  but  for  that  light  phantastic  of  his  gnose's glow  as  it  slid  lucifericiously  within  an  inch  of  its  page  (he  would touch  at  its  from  time  to  other,  the  red  eye  of  his  fear  in saddishness,  to  ensign  the  colours  by  the  beerlitz  in  his  mathness and  his  educandees  to  outhue  to  themselves  in  the  cries  of  girl- glee:  gember!  inkware!  chonchambre!  cinsero!  zinnzabar!  tinc- ture and  gin!)  Nibs  never  would  have  quilled  a  seriph  to sheepskin.  By  that  rosy  lampoon's  effluvious  burning  and  with help  of  the  simulchronic  flush  in  his  pann  (a  ghinee  a  ghirk  he ghets  there!)  he  scrabbled  and  scratched  and  scriobbled  and skrevened  nameless  shamelessness  about  everybody  ever  he  met, even  sharing  a  precipitation  under  the  idlish  tarriers'  umbrella of  a  showerproof  wall,  while  all  over  up  and  down  the  four margins  of  this  rancid  Shem  stuff  the  evilsmeller  (who  was devoted  to  Uldfadar  Sardanapalus)  used  to  stipple  endlessly inartistic  portraits  of  himself  in  the  act  of  reciting  old Nichiabelli's  monolook  interyerear  Harmo^  o  Nonanno^  accel brubblemmdiS^  ser  Autore,  q.e.d.,  a  heartbreakingly  handsome young  paolo  with  love  lyrics  for  the  goyls  in  his  eyols,  a  plain- tiff's tanner  vuice,  a  jucal  inkome  of  one  hundred  and  thirtytwo dranchmas  per  yard  from  Broken  Hill  stranded  estate,  Came- breech  mannings,  cutting  a  great  dash  in  a  brandnew  two  guinea dress  suit  and  a  burled  hogsford  hired  for  a  Fursday  evenin merry  pawty,  anna  loavely  long  pair  of  inky  Italian  moostarshes glistering  with  boric  vaseline  and  frangipani.  Puh!  How  un- whisperably  so!
The  house  O'Shea  or  O'Shame,  Quivapieno^  known  as  the Haunted  Inkbottle,  no  number  Brimstone  Walk,  Asia  in  Ireland, as  it  was  infested  with  the  raps,  with  his  penname  SHUT  sepia- scraped  on  the  doorplate  and  a  blind  of  black  sailcloth  over  its wan  phwinshogue,  in  which  the  soulcontracted  son  of  the  secret cell  groped  through  life  at  the  expense  of  the  taxpayers,  dejected into  day  and  night  with  Jesuit  bark  and  bitter  bite,  calico-
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hydrants  of  zolfor  and  scoppialamina  by  full  and  forty  Queasi- sanos,  every  day  in  everyone's  way  more  exceeding  in  violent abuse  of  self  and  others,  was  the  worst,  it  is  hoped,  even  in  our western  playboyish  world  for  pure  mousefarm  filth.  You  brag of  your  brass  castle  or  your  tyled  house  in  ballyfermont?  Niggs, niggs  and  niggs  again.  For  this  was  a  stinksome  inkenstink,  quite puzzonal  to  the  wrottel.  Smatterafact,  Angles  aftanon  browsing there  thought  not  Edam  reeked  more  rare.  My  wud !  The  warped flooring  of  the  lair  and  soundconducting  walls  thereof,  to  say nothing  of  the  uprights  and  imposts,  were  persianly  literatured with  burst  loveletters,  telltale  stories,  stickyback  snaps,  doubtful eggshells,  bouchers,  flints,  borers,  puffers,  amygdaloid  almonds, rindless  raisins,  alphybettyformed  verbage,  vivlical  viasses,  om- piter  dictas,  visus  umbique,  ahems  and  ahahs,  imeffible  tries  at speech  unasyllabled,  you  owe  mes,  eyoldhyms,  fluefoul  smut, fallen  lucifers,  vestas  which  had  served,  showered  ornaments, borrowed  brogues,  reversibles  jackets,  blackeye  lenses,  family jars,  falsehair  shirts.  Godforsaken  scapulars,  neverworn  breeches, cutthroat  ties,  counterfeit  franks,  best  intentions,  curried  notes, upset  latten  tintacks,  unused  mill  and  stumpling  stones,  twisted quills,  painful  digests,  magnifying  wineglasses,  solid  objects  cast at  goblins,  once  current  puns,  quashed  quotatoes,  messes  of  mot- tage,  unquestionable  issue  papers,  seedy  ejaculations,  limerick damns,  crocodile  tears,  spilt  ink,  blasphematory  spits,  stale  shest- nuts,  schoolgirls',  young  ladies',  milkmaids',  washerwomen's, shopkeepers'  wives,  merry  widows',  ex  nuns',  vice  abbess's,  pro virgins',  super  whores',  silent  sisters',  Charleys'  aunts',  grand- mothers', mothers'-in-laws',  fostermothers',  godmothers'  garters, tress  clippings  from  right,  lift  and  cintrum,  worms  of  snot, toothsome  pickings,  cans  of  Swiss  condensed  bilk,  highbrow lotions,  kisses  from  the  antipodes,  presents  from  pickpockets, borrowed  plumes,  relaxable  handgrips,  princess  promises,  lees  of whine,  deoxodised  carbons,  convertible  collars,  diviliouker doffers,  broken  wafers,  unloosed  shoe  latchets,  crooked  strait waistcoats,  fresh  horrors  from  Hades,  globules  of  mercury, undeleted  glete,  glass  eyes  for  an  eye,  gloss  teeth  for  a  tooth,
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war  moans,  special  sighs,  longsufFerings  of  longstanding,  ahs  ohs Guis  sis  jas  jos  gias  neys  thaws  sos,  yeses  and  yeses  and  yeses,  to which,  if  one  has  the  stomach  to  add  the  breakages,  upheavals distortions,  inversions  of  all  this  chambermade  music  one  stands, given  a  grain  of  goodwill,  a  fair  chance  of  actually  seeing  the whirling  dervish.  Tumult,  son  of  Thunder,  self  exiled  in  upon his  ego,  a  nightlong  a  shaking  betwixtween  white  or  reddr  haw- rors,  noondayterrorised  to  skin  and  bone  by  an  ineluctable  phan- tom (may  the  Shaper  have  mercery  on  him!)  writing  the  mystery of  himsel  in  furniture.
Of  course  our  low  hero  was  a  self  valeter  by  choice  of  need  so up  he  got  up  whatever  is  meant  by  a  Stourbridge  clay  kitchen- ette and  lithargogalenu  fowlhouse  for  the  sake  of  akes  (the umpple  does  not  fall  very  far  from  the  dumpertree)  which  the moromelodious  jigsmith,  in  defiance  of  the  Uncontrollable  Birth Preservativation  (Game  and  Poultry)  Act,  playing  lallaryrook cookerynook,  by  the  dodginess  of  his  lentern,  brooled  and  cocked and  potched  in  an  athanor,  whites  and  yolks  and  yilks  and  whotes to  the  frulling  fredonnance  of  Mas  blanca  que  la  hlanca  hermana and  Amarilla^  muy  bien^  with  cinnamon  and  locusts  and  wild  bees- wax and  liquorice  and  Carrageen  moss  and  blaster  of  Barry's  and Asther's  mess  and  Huster's  micture  and  Yellownan's  embrocation and  Pinkingtone's  patty  and  Stardust  and  sinner's  tears,  acuredent to  Sharadan's  Art  of  Panning^  chanting,  for  all  regale  to  the  like of  the  legs  he  left  behind  with  Litty  fun  Letty  fan  Leven,  his cantraps  of  fermented  words,  abracadabra  calubra  culorum,  (his oewfs  a  la  Madame  Gabrielle  de  I'Eglise,  his  avgs  a  la  Mistress B.  de  B.  Meinfelde,  his  eiers  Usquadmala  a  la  pomme  de  ciel, his  uoves,  oves  and  uves  a  la  Sulphate  de  Soude,  his  ochiuri sowtay  sowmmonay  a  la  Monseigneur,  his  soufflosion  of  oogs with  somekat  on  toyast  a  la  Mere  Puard,  his  Poggadovies  alia Fenella,  his  Frideggs  a  la  Tricareme)  in  what  was  meant  for  a closet  (Ah  ho!  If  only  he  had  listened  better  to  the  four  masters that  infanted  him  Father  Mathew  and  Le  Pere  Noble  and  Pastor Lucas  and  Padre  Aguilar  —  not  forgetting  Lay  teacher  Baudwin! Ah  ho!)  His  costive  Satan's  antimonian  manganese  limolitmious
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nature  never  needed  sucli  an  alcove  so,  when  Robber  and  Mum- sell,  the  pulpic  dictators,  on  the  nudgment  of  their  legal  advisers, Messrs  Codex  and  Podex,  and  under  his  own  benefiction  of  their pastor  Father  Flammeus  Falconer,  boycotted  him  of  all  mutton- suet  candles  and  romeruled  stationery  for  any  purpose,  he  winged away  on  a  wildgoup's  chase  across  the  kathartic  ocean  and  made synthetic  ink  and  sensitive  paper  for  his  own  end  out  of  his  wit's waste.  You  ask,  in  Sam  Hill,  how?  Let  manner  and  matter  of  this for  these  our  sporting  times  be  cloaked  up  in  the  language  of blushfed  porporates  that  an  Anglican  ordinal,  not  reading  his own  rude  dunsky  tunga,  may  ever  behold  the  brand  of  scarlet on  the  brow  of  her  of  Babylon  and  feel  not  the  pink  one  in  his own  damned  cheek.
Primum  opifexy  alius  prosator,  ad  terram  viviparam  et  cuncti- potentem  sine  ullo  pudore  nec  venia,  suscepto  pluviali  atque  discinctis periiomatisy  natibus  nudis  uti  nati  fuissenty  sese  adpropinquans , flens  et  gemens^  in  manum  suam  evacuavit  (highly  prosy,  crap  in  his hand,  sorry  ]) ^  postea^  animale  nigro  exoneratus^  classicum  pulsans^ stercus  proprium,  quod  appellavit  deiectiones  suas,  in  vas  olim honorabile  tristitiae  posuit,  eodem  sub  invocatione  fratrorum  gemino- Tum  Medardi  et  Godardi  laete  ac  melliflue  minxit^  psalmum  qui incipit:  Lingua  mea  calamus  scribae  velociter  scribentis:  magna  voce cantitans  (did  a  piss,  says  he  was  dejected,  asks  to  be  exonerated), demum  ex  stercore  turpi  cum  divi  Ononis  iucunditate  mixto,  cocto, frigorique  exposito,  encaustum  sibi  fecit  indelibile  (faked  O' Ryan's, the  indelible  ink).
Then,  pious  Eneas,  conformant  to  the  fulminant  firman  which enjoins  on  the  tremylose  terrian  that,  when  the  call  comes,  he shall  produce  nichthemerically  from  his  unheavenly  body  a  no uncertain  quantity  of  obscene  matter  not  protected  by  copriright in  the  United  Stars  of  Ourania  or  bedeed  and  bedood  and  bedang and  bedung  to  him,  with  this  double  dye,  brought  to  blood  heat, gallic  acid  on  iron  ore,  through  the  bowels  of  his  misery,  flashly, faithly,  nastily,  appropriately,  this  Esuan  Menschavik  and  the  first till  last  alshemist  wrote  over  every  square  inch  of  the  only  fools- cap available,  his  own  body,  till  by  its  corrosive  sublimation  one
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continuous  present  tense  integument  slowly  unfolded  all  marry- voising  moodmoulded  cyclewheeling  history  (thereby,  he  said, reflecting  from  his  own  individual  person  life  unlivable,  trans- accidentated  through  the  slow  fires  of  consciousness  into  a  divi- dual chaos,  perilous,  potent,  common  to  allflesh,  human  only, mortal)  but  with  each  word  that  would  not  pass  away  the  squid- self  which  he  had  squirtscreened  from  the  crystalline  world waned  chagreenold  and  doriangrayer  in  its  dudhud.  This  exists that  isits  after  having  been  said  we  know.  And  dabal  take  dab- nal!  And  the  dal  dabal  dab  aldanabal!  So  perhaps,  agglaggagglo- meratively  asaspenking,  after  all  and  arklast  fore  arklyst  on  his last  public  misappearance,  circling  the  square,  for  the  deathfete of  Saint  Ignaceous  Poisonivy,  of  the  Fickle  Crowd  (hopon  the sexth  day  of  Hogsober,  killim  our  king,  layum  low!)  and  brandish- ing his  bellbearing  stylo,  the  shining  keyman  of  the  wilds  of change,  if  what  is  sauce  for  the  zassy  is  souse  for  the  zazimas,  the blond  cop  who  thought  it  was  ink  was  out  of  his  depth  but bright  in  the  mairu
Petty  constable  Sistersen  of  the  Kruis-Kroon-Kraal  it  was,  the parochial  watch,  big  the  dog  the  dig  the  bog  the  bagger  the dugger  the  begadag  degabug,  who  had  been  detailed  from  pollute stoties  to  save  him,  this  the  quemquem,  that  the  quum,  from  the ligatureliablous  effects  of  foul  clay  in  little  clots  and  mobmauling on  looks,  that  wrongcountered  the  tenderfoot  an  eveling  near the  livingsmeansuniumgetherum,  Knockmaree,  Comty  Mea,  reel- ing more  to  the  right  than  he  lurched  to  the  left,  on  his  way  from a  protoprostitute  (he  would  always  have  a  (stp !)  little  pigeoness somewhure  with  his  arch  girl,  Arcoiris,  smockname  of  Mergyt) just  as  he  was  butting  in  rand  the  coyner  of  bad  times  under  a hideful  between  the  rival  doors  of  warm  bethels  of  worship through  his  boardelhouse  fongster,  greeting  for  grazious  oras as  usual:  Where  ladies  have  they  that  a  dog  meansort  herring? Sergo,  search  me,  the  incapable  reparteed  with  a  selfevitant subtlety  so  obviously  spurious  and,  raising  his  hair,  after  the grace,  with  the  christmas  under  his  clutcharm,  for  Portsymasser and  Purtsymessus  and  Pertsymiss  and  Partsymasters,  like  a  prance
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of  findingos,  with  a  shillto  shallto  slipny  stripny,  in  he  skittled. Swikey!  The  allwhite  poors  guardiant,  pulpably  of  balltossic stummung,  was  literally  astundished  over  the  painful  sake,  how he  burstteself,  which  he  was  gone  to,  where  he  intent  to  did  he, whether  you  think  will,  wherend  the  whole  current  of  the  after- noon whats  the  souch  of  a  surch  hads  of  hits  of  hims,  urged  and staggered  thereto  in  his  countryports  at  the  caledosian  capacity for  Lieutuvisky  of  the  caftan's  wineskin  and  even  more  so, during,  looking  his  bigmost  astonishments,  it  was  said  him, aschu,  fun  the  concerned  outgift  of  the  dead  med  dirt,  how  that, arrahbejibbers,  conspuent  to  the  dominical  order  and  exking noblish  permish,  he"  was  namely  coon  at  bringer  at  home  two gallonts,  as  per  royal,  full  poultry  till  his  murder.  Nip  up  and nab  it!
Polthergeistkotzdondherhoploits!  Kick.'^  What  mother.^  Whose porter.'^  Which  pair.^  Why  namely  coon.^  But  our  undilligence  has been  plutherotested  so  enough  of  such  porterblack  lowneess,  too base  for  printink !  Perpending  that  Putterick  O'Purcell  pulls  the coald  stoane  out  of  Winterwater's  and  Silder  Seas  sing  for  Harreng our  Keng,  sept  okt  nov  dez  John  Phibbs  march!  We  cannot,  in mercy  or  justice  nor  on  the  lovom  for  labaryntos,  stay  here  for the  residence  of  our  existings,  discussing  Tamstar  Ham  of  Ten- man's  thirst.
JUSTIUS  (to  himother):  Brawn  is  my  name  and  broad  is  my nature  and  I've  breit  on  my  brow  and  all's  right  with  every  fea- ture and  I'll  brune  this  bird  or  Brown  Bess's  bung's  gone  bandy. I'm  the  boy  to  bruise  and  braise.  Baus !
Stand  forth,  Nayman  of  Noland  (for  no  longer  will  I  follow you  obliquelike  through  the  inspired  form  of  the  third  person singular  and  the  moods  and  hesitensies  of  the  deponent  but  ad- dress myself  to  you,  with  the  empirative  of  my  vendettative,  pro- vocative and  out  direct),  stand  forth,  come  boldly,  jolly  me, move  me,  zwilling  though  I  am,  to  laughter  in  your  true  colours ere  you  be  back  for  ever  till  I  give  you  your  talkingto!  Shem Macadamsoh,  you  know  me  and  I  know  you  and  all  your  she- meries.  Where  have  you  been  in  the  uterim,  enjoying  yourself
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all  the  morning  since  your  last  wetbed  confession?  I  advise  you to  conceal  yourself,  my  little  friend,  as  I  have  said  a  moment ago  and  put  your  hands  in  my  hands  and  have  a  nightslong homely  little  confiteor  about  things.  Let  me  see.  It  is  looking pretty  black  against  you,  we  suggest,  Sheem  avick.  You  will need  all  the  elements  in  the  river  to  clean  you  over  it  all  and  a fortifine  popespriestpower  bull  of  attender  to  booth.
Let  us  pry.  We  thought,  would  and  did.  Cuty  quicquid,  ubiy quando,  quomodo,  quotiesy  quibus  auxiliis?  You  were  bred,  fed, fostered  and  fattened  from  holy  childhood  up  in  this  two  easter island  on  the  piejaw  of  hilarious  heaven  and  roaring  the  other place  (plunders  to  night  of  you,  blunders  what's  left  of  you,  flash as  flash  can!)  and  now,  forsooth,  a  nogger  among  the  blankards of  this  dastard  century,  you  have  become  of  twosome  twiminds forenenst  gods,  hidden  and  discovered,  nay,  condemned  fool, anarch,  egoarch,  hiresiarch,  you  have  reared  your  disunited  king- dom on  the  vacuum  of  your  own  most  intensely  doubtful  soul. Do  you  hold  yourself  then  for  some  god  in  the  manger,  Sheho- hem,  that  you  will  neither  serve  not  let  serve,  pray  nor  let  pray? And  here,  pay  the  piety,  must  I  too  nerve  myself  to  pray  for  the loss  of  selfrespect  to  equip  me  for  the  horrible  necessity  of  scan- dalisang  (my  dear  sisters,  are  you  ready?)  by  sloughing  off  my hope  and  tremors  while  we  all  swin  togedier  in  the  pool  of  So- dom? I  shall  shiver  for  my  purity  while  they  will  weepbig  for your  sins.  Away  with  covered  words,  new  Solemonities  for  old Badsheetbaths !  That  inharmonious  detail,  did  you  name  it?  Cold caldor!  Gee!  Victory!  Now,  opprobro  of  underslung  pipes, johnjacobs,  while  yet  an  adolescent  (what  do  I  say?),  while still  puerile  in  your  tubsuit  with  buttonlegs,  you  got  a  hand- some present  of  a  selfraising  syringe  and  twin  feeders  (you  know. Monsieur  Abgott,  in  your  art  of  arts,  to  your  cost  as  well  as  I  do (and  don't  try  to  hide  it)  the  penals  lots  I  am  now  poking  at)  and the  wheeze  sort  of  was  you  should  (if  you  were  as  bould  a  stroke now  as  the  curate  that  christened  you,  sonny  douth-the-candle!) repopulate  the  land  of  your  birth  and  count  up  your  progeny  by the  hungered  head  and  the  angered  thousand  but  you  thwarted
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the  wious  pish  of  your  cogodparents,  soph,  among  countless occasions  of  failing  (for,  said  you,  I  will  elenchate),  adding  to  the malice  of  your  transgression,  yes,  and  changing  its  nature,  (you see  I  have  read  your  theology  for  you)  alternating  the  morosity of  my  delectations  —  a  philtred  love,  trysting  by  tantrums, small  peace  in  ppenmark  —  with  sensibility,  sponsibility,  passi- bility  and  prostability,  your  lubbock's  other  fear  pleasures  of  a butler's  life,  even  extruding  your  strabismal  apologia,  when legibly  depressed,  upon  defenceless  paper  and  thereby  adding  to the  already  unhappiness  of  this  our  popeyed  world,  scribblative ! —  all  that  too  with  cantreds  of  countless  catchaleens,  the  man- nish as  many  as  the  minneful,  congested  around  and  about  you for  acres  and  roods  and  poles  or  perches,  thick  as  the  fluctuant sands  of  Chalwador,  accomplished  women,  indeed  fully  edu- canded,  far  from  being  old  and  rich  behind  their  dream  of  arri- visme,  if  they  have  only  their  honour  left,  and  not  deterred  by  bad weather  when  consumed  by  amorous  passion,  struggling  to  pos- sess themselves  of  your  boosh,  one  son  of  Sorge  for  all  daughters of  Anguish,  solus  cum  sola  sive  cuncdes  cum  omnihohs  (I'd  have been  the  best  man  for  you,  myself),  mutely  aying  for  that  natural knot,  debituary  vases  or  vessels  preposterous,  for  what  would not  have  cost  you  ten  bolivars  of  collarwork  or  the  price  of  one ping  pang,  just  a  lilt,  let  us  trillt,  of  the  oldest  song  in  the  wooed woodworld,  (two-we!  to-one!),  accompanied  by  a  plain  gold band!  Hail!  Hail!  Highbosomheaving  Missmisstress  Morna  of the  allsweetheartening  bridemuredemeanour!  Her  eye's  so  glad- some we'll  all  take  shares  in  the  groom!
Sniffer  of  carrion,  premature  gravedigger,  seeker  of  the  nest of  evil  in  the  bosom  of  a  good  word,  you,  who  sleep  at  our  vigil and  fast  for  our  feast,  you  with  your  dislocated  reason,  have cutely  foretold,  a  jophet  in  your  own  absence,  by  blind  poring upon  your  many  scalds  and  burns  and  blisters,  impetiginous  sore and  pustules,  by  the  auspices  of  that  raven  cloud,  your  shade,  and by  the  auguries  of  rooks  in  parlament,  death  with  every  disaster, the  dynamitisation  of  colleagues,  the  reducing  of  records  to ashes,  the  levelling  of  all  customs  by  blazes,  the  return  of  a  lot
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of  sweetempered  gunpowdered  didst  unto  dudst  but  it  never stphruck  your  mudhead's  obtundity  (O  hell,  here  comes  our funeral!  O  pest,  Fll  miss  the  post!)  that  the  more  carrots  you chop,  the  more  turnips  you  slit,  the  more  murphies  you  peel,  the more  onions  you  cry  over,  the  more  bullbeef  you  butch,  the more  mutton  you  crackerhack,  the  more  potherbs  you  pound, the  fiercer  the  fire  and  the  longer  your  spoon  and  the  harder  you gruel  with  more  grease  to  your  elbow  the  merrier  fumes  your new  Irish  stew.
O,  by  the  way,  yes,  another  thing  occurs  to  me.  You  let  me  tell you,  with  the  utmost  politeness,  were  very  ordinarily  designed, your  birthwrong  was,  to  fall  in  with  Plan,  as  our  nationals should,  as  all  nationists  must,  and  do  a  certain  office  (what,  I  will not  tell  you)  in  a  certain  holy  office  (nor  will  I  say  where)  during certain  agonising  office  hours  (a  clerical  party  all  to  yourself)  from such  a  year  to  such  an  hour  on  such  and  such  a  date  at  so  and so  much  a  week  pro  anno  (Guinnesses,  may  I  remind,  were  just agulp  for  you,  failing  in  which  you  might  have  taken  the  scales  off boilers  like  any  boskop  of  Yorek)  and  do  your  little  thruppenny bit  and  thus  earn  from  the  nation  true  thanks,  right  here  in  our place  of  burden,  your  bourne  of  travail  and  ville  of  tares,  where after  a  divine's  prodigence  you  drew  the  first  watergasp  in  your life,  from  the  crib  where  you  once  was  bit  to  the  crypt  you'll be  twice  as  shy  of,  same  as  we,  long  of  us,  alone  with  the  colt in  the  curner,  where  you  were  as  popular  as  an  armenial  with the  faithful,  and  you  set  fire  to  my  tailcoat  when  I  hold  the paraffin  smoker  under  yours  (I  hope  that  chimney's  clear)  but, slackly  shirking  both  your  bullet  and  your  billet,  you  beat  it backwards  like  Boulanger  from  Galway  (but  he  combed  the  grass against  his  stride)  to  sing  us  a  song  of  alibi,  (the  cuthone  call  over the  greybounding  slowrolling  amplyheaving  metamorphoseous that  oozy  rocks  parapangle  their  preposters  with)  nomad,  mooner by  lamplight,  antinos,  shemming  amid  everyone's  repressed laughter  to  conceal  your  scatchophily  by  mating,  like  a  thorough- paste  prosodite,  masculine  monosyllables  of  die  same  numerical mus,  an  Irish  emigrant  the  wrong  way  out,  sitting  on  your  crooked
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sixpenny  stile,  an  unfrillfrocked  quackfriar,  you  (will  you  for the  laugh  of  Scheekspair  just  help  mine  with  the  epithet?)  semi- semitic  serendipitist,  you  (thanks,  I  think  that  describes  you) Europasianised  Afferyank!
Shall  we  follow  each  others  a  steplonger,  drowner  of  daggers, whiles  our  liege,  tilyet  a  stranger  in  the  frontyard  of  his  happi- ness, is  taking,  (heal  helper!  one  gob,  one  gap,  one  gulp  and gorger  of  all !)  his  refreshment?
There  grew  up  beside  you,  amid  our  orisons  of  the  speediest in  Novena  Lodge,  Novara  Avenue,  in  Patripodium-am-Bummel, oaf,  outofwork,  one  remove  from  an  unwashed  savage,  on  his keeping  and  in  yours,  (I  pose  you  know  why  possum  hides  is cause  he  haint  the  nogumtreeumption)  that  other,  Immaculatus, from  head  to  foot,  sir,  that  pure  one,  Altrues  of  other  times, he  who  was  well  known  to  celestine  circles  before  he  sped aloft,  our  handsome  young  spiritual  physician  that  was  to  be, seducing  every  sense  to  selfwilling  celebesty,  the  most  winning counterfeuille  on  our  incomeshare  lotetree,  a  chum  of  the angelets,  a  youth  those  reporters  so  pettitily  wanted  as  game- fellow  that  they  asked  his  mother  for  ittle  earps  brupper  to let  him  tome  to  Tindertarten,  pease,  and  bing  his  scooter 'long  and  'tend  they  were  all  real  brothers  in  the  big  justright home  where  Dodd  lives,  just  to  teddyfy  the  life  out  of  him and  pat  and  pass  him  one  with  other  like  musk  from  hand  to hand,  that  mothersmothered  model,  that  goodlooker  with  not a  flaw  whose  spiritual  toilettes  were  the  talk  of  half  the  town,  for sunset  wear  and  nightfallen  use  and  daybroken  donning  and nooncheon  showing  and  the  very  thing  for  teasetime,  but  him you  laid  low  with  one  hand  one  fine  May  morning  in  the  Meddle of  your  Might,  your  bosom  foe,  because  he  mussed  your  speller on  you  or  because  he  cut  a  pretty  figure  in  the  focus  of  your frontispecs  (not  one  did  you  slay,  no,  but  a  continent!)  to  find out  how  his  innards  worked !
Ever  read  of  that  greatgrand  landfather  of  our  visionbuilders, Baaboo,  the  bourgeoismeister,  who  thought  to  touch  both  him- mels  at  the  punt  of  his  risen  stiffstaff  and  how  wishywashy  sank
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the  waters  of  his  thought?  Ever  thought  of  that  hereticalist  Marcon and  the  two  scissymaidies  and  how  bulkily  he  shat  the  Ructions gunorrhal?  Ever  hear  of  that  foxy,  that  lupo  and  that  monkax and  the  virgin  heir  of  the  Morrisons,  eh,  blethering  ape?
Malingerer  in  luxury,  collector  general,  what  has  Your  Low- ness  done  in  the  mealtime  with  all  the  hamilkcars  of  cooked vegetables,  the  hatfuls  of  stewed  fruit,  the  suitcases  of  coddled ales,  the  Parish  funds,  me  schamer,  man,  that  you  kittycoaxed  so flexibly  out  of  charitable  butteries  by  yowling  heavy  with  a hollow  voice  drop  of  your  horrible  awful  poverty  of  mind  so  as you  couldn't  even  pledge  a  crown  of  Thome's  to  pawn  a  coat off  Trevi's  and  as  how  you  was  bad  no  end,  so  you  was,  so  whelp you  Sinner  Pitre  and  Sinner  Poule,  with  the  chicken's  gape  and pas  mal  de  siecle,  which,  by  the  by,  Reynaldo,  is  the  ordinary emetic  French  for  grenadier's  drip.  To  let  you  have  your  plank and  your  bonewash  (O  the  hastroubles  you  lost!),  to  give  you your  pound  of  platinum  and  a  thousand  thongs  a  year  (O,  you were  excruciated,  in  honour  bound  to  the  cross  of  your  own cruelfiction !)  to  let  you  have  your  Sarday  spree  and  holinight  sleep (fame  would  come  to  you  twixt  a  sleep  and  a  wake)  and  leave  to lie  till  Paraskivee  and  the  cockcock  crows  for  Danmark.  (O Jonathan,  your  estomach!)  The  simian  has  no  sentiment  secre- tions but  weep  cataracts  for  all  me.  Pain  the  Shamman!  Oft  in the  smelly  night  will  they  wallow  for  a  clutch  of  the  famished hand,  I  say,  them  bearded  jezabelles  you  hired  to  rob  you,  while on  your  sodden  straw  impolitely  you  encored  (Airish  and  naw- boggaleesh!)  those  hornmade  ivory  dreams  you  reved  of  the Ruth  you  called  your  companionate,  a  beauty  from  the  bible,  of the  flushpots  of  Euston  and  the  hanging  garments  of  Maryle- bone.  But  the  dormer  moonshee  smiled  selene  and  the  light- throwers  knickered:  who's  whinging  we?  Comport  yourself, you  inconsistency!  Where  is  that  little  alimony  nestegg  against our  predictable  rainy  day?  Is  it  not  the  fact  (gainsay  me,  cake- eater!)  that,  while  whistlewhirling  your  crazy  elegies  around Templetombmount  joyntstone,  (let  him  pass,  pleasegood- jesusalem,  in  a  bundle  of  straw,  he  was  balbettised  after  hay-
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making)  you  squandered  among  underlings  the  overload  of your  extravagance  and  made  a  Hottentot  of  dulpeners  crawsick with  your  crumbs?  Am  I  not  right?  Yes?  Yes?  Yes?  Holy  wax and  holifer!  Don't  tell  me,  Leon  of  the  fold,  that  you  are  not  a loanshark!  Look  up,  old  sooty,  be  advised  by  mux  and  take  your medicine.  The  Good  Doctor  mulled  it.  Mix  it  twice  before  re- pastures  and  powder  three  times  a  day.  It  does  marvels  for  your gripins  and  it's  fine  for  the  solitary  worm.
Let  me  finish!  Just  a  little  judas  tonic,  my  ghem  of  all  jokes,  to make  you  go  green  in  the  gazer.  Do  you  hear  what  I'm  seeing, hammet?  And  remember  that  golden  silence  gives  consent,  Mr Anklegazer!  Cease  to  be  civil,  learn  to  say  nay!  Whisht!  Come here,  Herr  Studiosus,  till  I  tell  you  a  wig  in  your  ear.  We'll  do  a whisper  drive,  for  if  the  barishnyas  got  a  twitter  of  it  they'd  tell the  housetops  and  then  all  Cadbury  would  go  crackers.  Look! Do  you  see  your  dial  in  the  rockingglass?  Look  well !  Bend  down a  stigmy  till  I!  It's  secret!  Iggri,  I  say,  the  booseleers!  I  had  it from  Lamppost  Shawe.  And  he  had  it  from  the  Mullah.  And  Mull took  it  from  a  Bluecoat  schooler.  And  Gay  Socks  jot  it  from Potapheu's  wife.  And  RantipoU  tipped  the  wink  from  old  Mrs Tinbullet.  And  as  for  she  was  confussed  by  pro-Brother  Thaco- licus.  And  the  good  brother  feels  he  would  need  to  defecate you.  And  the  Flimsy  Follettes  are  simply  beside  each  other. And  Kelly,  Kenny  and  Keogh  are  up  up  and  in  arms.  That  a cross  may  crush  me  if  I  refuse  to  believe  in  it.  That  I  may  rock anchor  through  the  ages  if  I  hope  it's  not  true.  That  the  host may  choke  me  if  I  beneighbour  you  without  my  charity!  Sh! Shem,  you  are.  Sh!  You  are  mad!
He  points  the  deathbone  and  the  quick  are  still.  Insomnia^ somnia  somniorum,  Awmawm.
MERCIUS  (of  hisself):  Domine  vopiscus!  My  fault,  his  fault, a  kingship  through  a  fault!  Pariah,  cannibal  Cain,  I  who  oathily forswore  the  womb  that  bore  you  and  the  paps  I  sometimes sucked,  you  who  ever  since  have  been  one  black  mass  of  jigs  and jimjams,  haunted  by  a  convulsionary  sense  of  not  having  been or  being  all  that  I  might  have  been  or  you  meant  to  becoming,
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bewailing  like  a  man  that  innocence  which  I  could  not  defend like  a  woman,  lo,  you  there,  Cathmon-Carbery,  and  thank  Movies from  the  innermost  depths  of  my  still  attrite  heart,  Wherein the  days  of  youyouth  are  evermixed  mimine,  now  ere  the  comp- line hour  of  being  alone  athands  itself  and  a  puff  or  so  before we  yield  our  spiritus  to  the  wind,  for  (though  that  royal  one has  not  yet  drunk  a  gouttelette  from  his  consummation  and  the flowerpot  on  the  pole,  the  spaniel  pack  and  their  quarry,  retainers and  the  public  house  proprietor  have  not  budged  a  millimetre and  all  that  has  been  done  has  yet  to  be  done  and  done  again, when's  day's  woe,  and  lo,  you're  doomed,  joy  day  dawns  and, la,  you  dominate)  it  is  to  you,  firstborn  and  firstfruit  of  woe,  to me,  branded  sheep,  pick  of  the  wasterpaperbaskel,  by  the tremours  of  Thundery  and  Ulerin's  dogstar,  you  alone,  wind- blasted  tree  of  the  knowledge  of  beautiful  andevil,  ay,  clothed upon  with  the  metuor  and  shimmering  like  the  horescens,  astro- glodynamonologos,  the  child  of  Nilfit's  father,  blzb,  to  me unseen  blusher  in  an  obscene  coalhole,  the  cubilibum  of  your secret  sigh,  dweller  in  the  downandoutermost  where  voice  only of  the  dead  may  come,  because  ye  left  from  me,  because  ye laughed  on  me,  because,  O  me  lonly  son,  ye  are  forgetting  me!, that  our  turfbrown  mummy  is  acoming,  alpilla,  beltilla,  ciltilla, deltilla,  running  with  her  tidings,  old  the  news  of  the  great  big world,  sonnies  had  a  scrap,  woewoewoe!  bab's  baby  walks  at seven  months,  waywayway!  bride  leaves  her  raid  at  Punchestime, stud  stoned  before  a  racecourseful,  two  belles  that  make  the one  appeal,  dry  yanks  will  visit  old  sod,  and  fourtiered  skirts are  up,  mesdames,  while  Parimiknie  wears  popular  short  legs, and  twelve  hows  to  mix  a  tipsy  wake,  did  ye  hear,  colt  Cooney? did  ye  ever,  filly  Fortescue?  with  a  beck,  with  a  spring,  all  her riilringlets  shaking,  rocks  drops  in  her  tachie,  tramtokens  in her  hair,  all  waived  to  a  point  and  then  all  inuendation,  little oldfashioned  mummy,  little  wonderful  mummy,  ducking  under bridges,  bellhopping  the  weirs,  dodging  by  a  bit  of  bog,  rapid- shooting  round  the  bends,  by  Tallaght's  green  hills  and  the pools  of  the  phooka  and  a  place  they  call  it  Blessington  and
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slipping  sly  by  Sallynoggin,  as  happy  as  the  day  is  wet,  bab- bling, bubbling,  chattering  to  herself,  deloothering  the  fields  on their  elbows  leaning  with  the  sloothering  slide  of  her,  giddy- gaddy,  grannyma,  gossipaceous  Anna  Livia.
He  lifts  the  lifewand  and  the  dumb  speak.
—  Quoiquoiquoiquoiquoiquoiquoiq!
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o
tell  me  all  about Anna  Li  via!  I  want  to  hear  all about  Anna  Livia.  Well,  you  know  Anna  Livia?  Yes,  of  course, we  all  know  Anna  Livia.  Tell  me  all.  Tell  me  now.  You'll  die when  you  hear.  Well,  you  know,  when  the  old  cheb  went  futt and  did  what  you  know.  Yes,  I  know,  go  on.  Wash  quit  and don't  be  dabbling.  Tuck  up  your  sleeves  and  loosen  your  talk- tapes.  And  don't  butt  me  —  hike!  —  when  you  bend.  Or  what- ever it  was  they  threed  to  make  out  he  thried  to  two  in  the Fiendish  park.  He's  an  awful  old  reppe.  Look  at  the  shirt  of  him ! Look  at  the  dirt  of  it!  He  has  all  my  water  black  on  me.  And  it steeping  and  stuping  since  this  time  last  wik.  How  many  goes is  it  I  wonder  I  washed  it.'^  I  know  by  heart  the  places  he  likes  to saale,  duddurty  devil!  Scorching  my  hand  and  starving  my  fa- mine to  make  his  private  linen  public.  Wallop  it  well  with  your battle  and  clean  it.  My  wrists  are  wrusty  rubbing  the  mouldaw stains.  And  the  dneepers  of  wet  and  the  gangres  of  sin  in  it!  What was  it  he  did  a  tail  at  all  on  Animal  Sendai.'^  And  how  long  was he  under  loch  and  neagh.'^  It  was  put  in  the  newses  what  he  did, nicies  and  priers,  the  King  fierceas  Humphrey,  with  illysus  dis- tilling, exploits  and  all.  But  toms  will  till.  I  know  he  well.  Temp untamed  will  hist  for  no  man.  As  you  spring  so  shall  you  neap. O,  the  roughty  old  rappe!  Minxing  marrage  and  making  loof.
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Reeve  Gootch  was  right  and  Reeve  Drughad  was  sinistrous !  And the  cut  of  him!  And  the  strut  of  him!  How  he  used  to  hold  his head  as  high  as  a  howeth,  the  famous  eld  duke  alien,  with  a  hump of  grandeur  on  him  like  a  walking  wiesel  rat.  And  his  derry's own  drawl  and  his  corksown  blather  and  his  doubling  stutter and  his  gullaway  swank.  Ask  Lictor  Hackett  or  Lector  Reade of  Garda  Growley  or  the  Boy  with  the  Billyclub.  How  elster  is he  a  called  at  all?  Qu'appelle.^  Huges  Caput  Earlyfouler.  Or where  was  he  born  or  how  was  he  found.^  Urgothland,  Tvistown on  the  Kattekat?  New  Hunshire,  Concord  on  the  Merrimake? Who  blocksmitt  her  saft  anvil  or  yelled  lep  to  her  pail.'^  Was  her banns  never  loosened  in  Adam  and  Eve's  or  were  him  and  her but  captain  spliced.^  For  mine  ether  duck  I  thee  drake.  And  by my  wildgaze  I  thee  gander.  Flowey  and  Mount  on  the  brink  of time  makes  wishes  and  fears  for  a  happy  isthmass.  She  can  show all  her  lines,  with  love,  license  to  play.  And  if  they  don't  remarry that  hook  and  eye  may!  O,  passmore  that  and  oxus  another!  Don Dom  Dombdomb  and  his  wee  follyo!  Was  his  help  inshored  in the  Stork  and  Pelican  against  bungelars,  flu  and  third  risk  par- ties.'^ I  heard  he  dug  good  tin  with  his  doll^  delvan  first  and  duvlin after^  when  he  raped  her  home,  Sabrine  asthore,  in  a  parakeet's cage,  by  dredgerous  lands  and  devious  delts,  playing  catched  and mythed  with  the  gleam  of  her  shadda,  (if  a  flic  had  been  there  to pop  up  and  pepper  him!)  past  auld  min's  manse  and  Maisons Allfou  and  the  rest  of  incurables  and  the  last  of  immurables,  the quaggy  waag  for  stumbling.  Who  sold  you  that  jackalantern's tale.^  Pemmican's  pasty  pie!  Not  a  grasshoop  to  ring  her,  not  an antsgrain  of  ore.  In  a  gabbard  he  barqued  it,  the  boat  of  life, from  the  harbourless  Ivernikan  Okean,  till  he  spied  the  loom  of his  landfall  and  he  loosed  two  croakers  from  under  his  tilt,  the gran  Phenician  rover.  By  the  smell  of  her  kelp  they  made  the pigeonhouse.  Like  fun  they  did!  But  where  was  Himself,  the timoneer.'^  That  marchantman  he  suivied  their  scutties  right  over the  wash,  his  cameleer's  burnous  breezing  up  on  him,  till  with his  runagate  bowmpriss  he  roade  and  borst  her  bar.  Pilcomayo! Suchcaughtawan !  And  the  whale's  away  with  the  grayling!  Tune
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your  pipes  and  fall  ahumming,  you  born  ijypt,  and  you're  no- thing short  of  one!  Well,  ptellomey  soon  and  curb  your  escumo. When  they  saw  him  shoot  swift  up  her  sheba  sheath,  like  any gay  lord  Salomon,  her  bulls  they  were  ruhring,  surfed  with spree.  Boyarka  buah!  Boyana  bueh!  He  erned  his  lille  Bunbath hard,  our  staly  bred,  the  trader.  He  did.  Look  at  here.  In  this  wet of  his  prow.  Don't  you  know  he  was  kaldt  a  bairn  of  the  brine, Wasserbourne  the  waterbaby?  Havemmarea,  so  he  was!  H.C.E. has  a  codfisck  ee.  Shyr  she's  nearly  as  badher  as  him  herself. Who?  Anna  Li  via.''  Ay,  Anna  Li  via.  Do  you  know  she  was  call- ing bakvandets  sals  from  all  around,  nyumba  noo,  chamba  choo, to  go  in  till  him,  her  erring  cheef,  and  tickle  the  pontiff  aisy-oisy? She  was?  Gota  pot!  Yssel  that  the  limmat?  As  El  Negro  winced when  he  wonced  in  La  Plate.  O,  tell  me  all  I  want  to  hear,  how loft  she  was  lift  a  laddery  dextro !  A  coney  wink  after  the  bunting fell.  Letting  on  she  didn't  care,  sina  feza,  me  absantee,  him  man in  passession,  the  proxenete!  Proxenete  and  phwhat  is  phthat? Emme  for  your  reussischer  Honddu  jarkon!  Tell  us  in  franca langua.  And  call  a  spate  a  spate.  Did  they  never  sharee  you  ebro at  skol,  you  antiabecedarian?  It's  just  the  same  as  if  I  was  to  go par  examplum  now  in  conservancy's  cause  out  of  telekinesis  and proxenete  you.  For  coxyt  sake  and  is  that  what  she  is?  Botlettle I  thought  she'd  act  that  loa.  Didn't  you  spot  her  in  her  windaug, wubbling  up  on  an  osiery  chair,  with  a  meusic  before  her  all cunniform  letters,  pretending  to  ribble  a  reedy  derg  on  a  fiddle she  bogans  without  a  band  on?  Sure  she  can't  fiddan  a  dee,  with bow  or  abandon!  Sure,  she  can't!  Tista  suck.  Well,  I  never  now heard  the  like  of  that !  Tell  me  moher.  Tell  me  moatst.  Well,  old Humber  was  as  glommen  as  grampus,  with  the  tares  at  his  thor and  the  buboes  for  ages  and  neither  bowman  nor  shot  abroad  and bales  allbrant  on  the  crests  of  rockies  and  nera  lamp  in  kitchen  or church  and  giant's  holes  in  Grafton's  causeway  and  deathcap mushrooms  round  Funglus  grave  and  the  great  tribune's  barrow all  darnels  occumule,  sittang  sambre  on  his  sett,  drammen  and drommen,  usking  queasy  quizzers  of  his  ruful  continence,  his childlinen  scarf  to  encourage  his  obsequies  where  he'd  check  their
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debths  in  that  mormon's  thames,  be  questing  and  handsetl,  hop, step  and  a  deepend,  with  his  berths  in  their  toiling  moil,  his  swal- lower  open  from  swolf  to  fore  and  the  snipes  of  the  gutter  pecking his  crocs,  hungerstriking  all  alone  and  holding  doomsdag  over hunselv,  dreeing  his  weird,  with  his  dander  up,  and  his  fringe combed  over  his  eygs  and  droming  on  loft  till  the  sight  of  the sternes,  after  zwarthy  kowse  and  weedy  broeks  and  the  tits  of buddy  and  the  loits  of  pest  and  to  peer  was  Parish  worth  thette mess.  You'd  think  all  was  dodo  belonging  to  him  how  he  durmed adranse  in  durance  vaal.  He  had  been  belching  for  Severn  years. And  there  she  was,  Anna  Livia,  she  darent  catch  a  winkle  of sleep,  purling  around  like  a  chit  of  a  child,  Wendawanda,  a  finger- thick,  in  a  Lapsummer  skirt  and  damazon  cheeks,  for  to  ishim bonzour  to  her  dear  dubber  Dan.  With  neuphraties  and  sault from  his  maggias.  And  an  odd  time  she'd  cook  him  up  blooms of  fisk  and  lay  to  his  heartsfoot  her  meddery  eygs,  yayis,  and staynish  beacons  on  toasc  and  a  cupenhave  so  weeshywashy  of Greenland's  tay  or  a  dzoupgan  of  Kaffue  mokau  an  sable  or Sikiang  sukry  or  his  ale  of  ferns  in  trueart  pewter  and  a  shin- kobread  (hamjambo,  bana.'^)  for  to  plaise  that  man  hog  stay  his stomicker  till  her  pyrraknees  shrunk  to  nutmeg  graters  while  her togglejoints  shuck  with  goyt  and  as  rash  as  she'd  russ  with  her peakload  of  vivers  up  on  her  sieve  (metauwero  rage  it  swales  and rieses)  my  hardey  Hek  he'd  kast  them  frome  him,  with  a  stour of  scorn,  as  much  as  to  say  you  sow  and  you  sozh,  and  if  he  didn't peg  the  platteau  on  her  tawe,  believe  you  me,  she  was  safe enough.  And  then  she'd  esk  to  vistule  a  hymn.  The  Heart  Bowed Down  or  The  Rakes  of  Mallow  or  Chelli  Michele's  La  Calumnia  e un  Vermicelli  or  a  balfy  bit  ov  old  Jo  Robidson,  Sucho  fuffing  a fifeing  'twould  cut  you  in  two!  She'd  bate  the  hen  that  crowed on  the  turrace  of  Babbel.  What  harm  if  she  knew  how  to  cockle her  mouth !  And  not  a  mag  out  of  Hum  no  more  than  out  of  the mangle  weight.  Is  that  a  faith.^  That's  the  fact.  Then  riding  the ricka  and  roya  romanche^  Annona,  gebroren  aroostokrat  Nivia, dochter  of  Sense  and  Art,  with  Sparks'  pirryphlickathims  funkl- ing  her  fan,  anner  frostivying  tresses  dasht  with  virevlies, —
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while  the  prom  beauties  sreeked  nith  their  bearers'  skins !  —  in a  period  gown  of  changeable  jade  that  would  robe  the  wood  of two  cardinals*  chairs  and  crush  poor  Cullen  and  smother  Mac- Cabe.  O  blazerskate!  Theirs  porpor  patches!  And  brahming  to him  down  the  feedchute,  with  her  femtyfyx  kinds  of  fondling endings,  the  poother  rambling  off  her  nose:  Vuggyharney^ Wickerymandy!  Hello^  ducky ^  please  dont  die!  Do  you  know what  she  started  cheeping  after,  with  a  choicey  voicey  like  water- glucks  or  Madame  Delba  to  Romeoreszk?  You'll  never  guess. Tell  me.  Tell  me.  Phoebe^  dearest^  tell^  0  tell  me  and  /  loved  you better  nor  you  knew.  And  letting  on  boon  var  daft  about  the  warbly sangs  from  over  holmen:  High  hellskirt  saw  ladies  hensmoker  lily- hung  pigger:  and  soay  and  soan  and  so  firth  and  so  forth  in  a  tone sonora  and  Oom  Bothar  below  like  Bheri-Bheri  in  his  sandy cloak,  so  umvolosy,  as  deaf  as  a  yawn,  the  stult!  Go  away!  Poor deef  old  deary!  Yare  only  teasing!  Anna  Liv.'^  As  chalk  is  my judge!  And  didn't  she  up  in  sorgues  and  go  and  trot  doon  and stand  in  her  douro,  puffing  her  old  dudheen,  and  every  shirvant siligirl  or  wensum  farmerette  walking  the  pilend  roads,  Sawy, Fundally,  Daery  or  Maery,  Milucre,  Awny  or  Graw,  usedn't  she make  her  a  simp  or  sign  to  slip  inside  by  the  sullyport.'^  You  don't say,  the  sillypost?  Bedouix  but  I  do !  Calling  them  in,  one  by  one (To  Blockbeddum  here!  Here  the  Shoebenacaddie !)  and  legging a  jig  or  so  on  the  sihl  to  show  them  how  to  shake  their  benders and  the  dainty  how  to  bring  to  mind  the  gladdest  garments  out of  sight  and  all  the  way  of  a  maid  with  a  man  and  making  a  sort of  a  cackling  noise  like  two  and  a  penny  or  half  a  crown  and  hold- ing up  a  silliver  shiner.  Lordy,  lordy,  did  she  so?  Well,  of  all  the ones  ever  I  heard!  Throwing  all  the  neiss  little  whores  in  the world  at  him!  To  inny  captured  wench  you  wish  of  no  matter what  sex  of  pleissful  ways  two  adda  tammar  a  lizzy  a  lossie  to hug  and  hab  haven  in  Humpy's  apron !
And  what  was  the  wyerye  rima  she  made!  Odet!  Odet!  Tell me  the  trent  of  it  while  I'm  lathering  hail  out  of  Denis  Florence MacCarthy's  combies.  Rise  it,  flut  ye,  pian  piena!  I'm  dying down  off  my  iodine  feet  until  I  lerryn  Anna  Livia's  cushingloo,
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that  was  writ  by  one  and  rede  by  two  and  trouved  by  a  poule  in the  parco!  I  can  see  that,  I  see  you  are.  How  does  it  tummel? Listen  now.  Are  you  listening?  Yes,  yes !  Idneed  I  am !  Tarn  your ore  ouse !  Essonne  inne !
By  earth  and  the  cloudy  hut  I  badly  want  a  brandnew  bankside^ bedamp  and  I  do^  and  a  plumper  at  that!
For  the  putty  affair  I  have  is  wore  out^  so  it  isy  sittings  y aping  and waiting  for  my  old  Dane  hodder  dodderer^  my  life  in  death  companion^ my  frugal  key  of  our  larder,  my  much-altered  cameVs  hump,  my jointspoiler ,  my  maymoons  honey,  my  fool  to  the  last  Decemberer, to  wake  himself  out  of  his  winter's  do^e  and  bore  me  down  like  he used  to.
Is  there  irwell  a  lord  of  the  manor  or  a  knight  of  the  shire  at  strike^ I  wonder,  that'd  dip  me  a  dace  or  two  in  cash  for  washing  and darning  his  worshipful  socks  for  him  now  we're  run  out  of  horse- brose  and  milk?
Only  for  my  short  Brittas  bed  mades  as  snug  as  it  smells  it  s out  Vd  lep  and  off  with  me  to  the  slobs  della  Tolka  or  the  plage  au Clontarf  to  feale  the  gay  aire  of  my  salt  troublin  bay  and  the  race of  the  saywint  up  me  ambushure.
Onon!  Onon!  tell  me  more.  Tell  me  every  tiny  teign.  I  want to  know  every  single  ingul.  Down  to  what  made  the  potters  fly into  jagsthole.  And  why  were  the  vesles  vet.  That  homa  fever's winning  me  wome.  If  a  mahun  of  the  horse  but  hard  me !  We'd be  bundukiboi  meet  askarigal.  Well,  now  comes  the  hazel- hatchery  part.  After  Clondalkin  the  Kings's  Inns.  We'll  soon  be there  with  the  freshet.  How  many  aleveens  had  she  in  tool.'^  I  can't rightly  rede  you  that.  Close  only  knows.  Some  say  she  had  three figures  to  fill  and  confined  herself  to  a  hundred  eleven,  wan  by- wan  by  wan,  making  meanacuminamoyas.  Olaph  lamm  et,  all  that pack.'^  We  won't  have  room  in  the  kirkeyaard.  She  can't  remember half  of  the  cradlenames  she  smacked  on  them  by  the  grace  of  her boxing  bishop's  infallible  slipper,  the  cane  for  Kund  and  abbles  for Eyolf  and  ayther  nayther  for  Yakov  Yea.  A  hundred  and  how? They  did  well  to  rechristien  her  Pluhurabelle.  O  loreley!  What  a loddon  lodes!  Heigh  ho!  But  it's  quite  on  the  cards  she'll  shed
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more  and  merrier,  twills  and  trills,  sparefours  and  spoilfives,  nord- sihkes  and  sudsevers  and  ayes  and  neins  to  a  litter.  Grandfarthring nap  and  Messamisery  and  the  knave  of  all  knaves  and  the  joker. Heehaw!  She  must  have  been  a  gadabount  in  her  day,  so  she must,  more  than  most.  Shoal  she  was,  gidgad.  She  had  a  flewmen of  her  owen.  Then  a  toss  nare  scared  that  lass,  so  aimai  moe, that's  agapo!  Tell  me,  tell  me,  how  cam  she  camlin  through  all her  fellows,  the  neckar  she  was,  the  diveline.'^  Casting  her  perils before  our  swains  from  Fonte-in-Monte  to  Tidingtown  and from  Tidingtown  tilhavet.  Linking  one  and  knocking  the  next, tap  ting  a  flank  and  tipting  a  jutty  and  palling  in  and  pietaring out  and  clyding  by  on  her  eastway.  Waiwhou  was  the  first  thur- ever  burst.'*  Someone  he  was,  whuebra  they  were,  in  a  tactic  attack or  in  single  combat.  Tinker,  tilar,  souldrer,  salor.  Pieman  Peace or  Polistaman.  That's  the  thing  Pm  elwys  on  edge  to  esk.  Push up  and  push  vardar  and  come  to  uphill  headquarters!  Was  it waterlows  year,  after  Grattan  or  Flood,  or  when  maids  were  in Arc  or  when  three  stood  hosting.'^  Fidaris  will  find  where  the Doubt  arises  like  Nieman  from  Nirgends  found  the  Nihil.  Worry you  sighin  fob,  Albern,  O  Anser.'*  Untie  the  gemman's  fistiknots, Qvic  and  Nuancee!  She  can't  put  her  hand  on  him  for  the  mo- ment. Tez  thelon  langlo,  walking  weary!  Such  a  loon  waybash- wards  to  row!  She  sid  herself  she  hardly  knows  whuon  the  annals her  graveller  was,  a  dynast  of  Leinster,  a  wolf  of  the  sea,  or  what he  did  or  how  blyth  she  played  or  how,  when,  why,  where  and who  offon  he  jumpnad  her  and  how  it  was  gave  her  away.  She was  just  a  young  thin  pale  soft  shy  slim  slip  of  a  thing  then, sauntering,  by  silvamoonlake  and  he  was  a  heavy  trudging lurching  lieabroad  of  a  Curraghman,  making  his  hay  for  whose sun  to  shine  on,  as  tough  as  the  oaktrees  (peats  be  with  them!) used  to  rustle  that  time  down  by  the  dykes  of  killing  Kildare, for  forstfellfoss  with  a  plash  across  her.  She  thought  she's  sankh neathe  the  ground  with  nymphant  shame  when  he  gave  her  the tigris  eye !  O  happy  fault !  Me  wish  it  was  he !  You're  wrong  there, corribly  wrong!  Tisn't  only  tonight  you're  anacheronistic !  It was  ages  behind  that  when  nullahs  were  nowhere,  in  county
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Wickenlow,  garden  of  Erin,  before  she  ever  dreamt  she'd  lave Kilbride  and  go  foaming  under  Horsepass  bridge,  with  the  great southerwestern  windstorming  her  traces  and  the  midland's  grain- waster  asarch  for  her  track,  to  wend  her  ways  byandby,  robecca or  worse,  to  spin  and  to  grind,  to  sv/ab  and  to  thrash,  for  all  her golden  lifey  in  the  barleyfields  and  pennylotts  of  Humphrey's fordofhurdlestown  and  lie  with  a  landleaper,  wellingtonorseher. Alesse,  the  lagos  of  girly  days!  For  the  dove  of  the  dunas!  Was- ut?  Izod?  Are  you  sarthin  suir?  Not  where  the  Finn  fits  into  the Mourne,  not  where  the  Nore  takes  lieve  of  Blcem,  not  where  the Braye  divarts  the  Farer,  not  where  the  Moy  changez  her  minds twixt  CuUin  and  Conn  tween  Cunn  and  Collin?  Or  where  Neptune sculled  and  Tritonville  rowed  and  leandros  three  bumped  heroines two?  Neya,  narev,  nen,  nonni,  nos!  Then  whereabouts  in  Ow  and Ovoca?  Was  it  yst  with  wyst  or  Lucan  Yokan  or  where  the  hand of  man  has  never  set  foot?  Dell  me  where,  the  fairy  ferse  time!  I will  if  you  listen.  You  know  the  dinkel  dale  of  Luggelaw?  Well, there  once  dwelt  a  local  heremite,  Michael  Arklow  was  his  river- end  name,  (with  many  a  sigh  I  aspersed  his  lavabibs!)  and  one venersderg  in  junojuly,  oso  sweet  and  so  cool  and  so  limber  she looked,  Nance  the  Nixie,  Nanon  L'Escaut,  in  the  silence,  of  the  sy- comores,  all  listening,  the  kindling  curves  you  simply  can't  stop feeling,  he  plunged  both  of  his  newly  anointed  hands,  the  core  of his  cushlas,  in  her  singimari  saffron  strumans  of  hair,  parting  them and  soothing  her  and  mingling  it,  that  was  deepdark  and  ample like  this  red  bog  at  sundown.  By  that  Vale  Vowclose's  lucydlac, the  reignbeau's  heavenarches  arronged  orranged  her.  Afroth- dizzying  galbs,  her  enamelled  eyes  indergoading  him  on  to  the vierge  violetian.  Wish  a  wish !  Why  a  why?  Mavro !  Letty  Lerck's lafing  light  throw  those  laurals  now  on  her  daphdaph  teasesong petrock.  Maass!  But  the  majik  wavus  has  elfun  anon  meshes. And  Simba  the  Slayer  of  his  Oga  is  slewd.  He  cuddle  not  help himself,  thurso  that  hot  on  him,  he  had  to  forget  the  monk  in the  man  so,  rubbing  her  up  and  smoothing  her  down,  he  baised his  lippes  in  smiling  mood,  kiss  akiss  after  kisokushk  (as  he warned  her  niver  to,  niver  to,  nevar)  on  Anna-na-Poghue's  of
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the  freckled  forehead.  While  you'd  parse  secheressa  she  hielt  her souff*.  But  she  ruz  two  feet  hire  in  her  aisne  aestumation.  And steppes  on  stilts  ever  since.  That  was  kissuahealing  with  bantur for  balm!  O,  wasn't  he  the  bold  priest?  And  wasn't  she  the naughty  Livvy?  Nautic  Naama's  now  her  navn.  Two  lads  in scoutsch  breeches  went  through  her  before  that,  Barefoot  Bum and  Wallowme  Wade,  Lugnaquillia's  noblesse  pickts,  before  she had  a  hint  of  a  hair  at  her  fanny  to  hide  or  a  bossom  to  tempt  a birch  canoedler  not  to  mention  a  bulgic  porterhouse  barge.  And ere  that  again,  leada,  laida,  all  unraidy,  too  faint  to  buoy  the fairiest  rider,  too  frail  to  flirt  with  a  cygnet's  plume,  she  was  licked by  a  hound,  Chirripa-Chirruta,  while  poing  her  pee,  pure  and simple,  on  the  spur  of  the  hill  in  old  Kippure,  in  birdsong  and shearingtime,  but  first  of  all,  worst  of  all,  the  wiggly  livvly,  she sideslipped  out  by  a  gap  in  the  Devil's  glen  while  Sally  her  nurse was  sound  asleep  in  a  sloot  and,  feefee  fiefie,  fell  over  a  spillway before  she  found  her  stride  and  lay  and  wriggled  in  all  the  stag- nant black  pools  of  rainy  under  a  fallow  coo  and  she  laughed innocefree  with  her  limbs  aloft  and  a  whole  drove  of  maiden hawthorns  blushing  and  looking  askance  upon  her.
Drop  me  the  sound  of  the  findhorn's  name,  Mtu  or  Mti,  som- bogger  was  wisness.  And  drip  me  why  in  the  flenders  was  she frickled.  And  trickle  me  through  was  she  marcellewaved  or  was it  weirdly  a  wig  she  wore.  And  whitside  did  they  droop  their glows  in  their  florry,  aback  to  wist  or  affront  to  sea?  In  fear  to hear  the  dear  so  near  or  longing  loth  and  loathing  longing?  Are you  in  the  swim  or  are  you  out?  O  go  in,  go  on,  go  an !  I  mean about  what  you  know.  I  know  right  well  what  you  mean.  Rother ! You'd  like  the  coifs  and  guimpes,  snouty,  and  me  to  do  the greasy  jub  on  old  Veronica's  wipers.  What  am  I  rancing  now and  I'll  thank  you?  Is  it  a  pinny  or  is  it  a  surplice?  Arran,  where's your  nose?  And  where's  the  starch?  That's  not  the  vesdre  bene- diction smell.  I  can  tell  from  here  by  their  eau  de  Colo  and  the scent  of  her  oder  they're  Mrs  Magrath's.  And  you  ought  to  have aird  them.  They've  moist  come  off  her.  Creases  in  silk  they are,  not  crampton  lawn.  Baptiste  me,  father,  for  she  has  sinned  I
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Through  her  catchment  ring  she  freed  them  easy,  with  her  hips* hurrahs  for  her  knees'dontelleries.  The  only  parr  with  frills  in old  the  plain.  So  they  are,  I  declare!  Welland  well!  If  tomorrow keeps  fine  who'll  come  tripping  to  sightsee?  How'll?  Ask  me next  what  I  haven't  got!  The  Belvedarean  exhibitioners.  In  their cruisery  caps  and  oarsclub  colours.  What  hoo,  they  band!  And what  hoa,  they  buck!  And  here  is  her  nubilee  letters  too.  Ellis on  quay  in  scarlet  thread.  Linked  for  the  world  on  a  flush- caloured  field.  Annan  exe  after  to  show  they're  not  Laura  Ke- own's.  O,  may  the  diabolo  twisk  your  seifety  pin!  You  child  of Mammon,  Kinsella's  Lilith !  Now  who  has  been  tearing  the  leg of  her  drawars  on  her.^  Which  leg  is  it.'^  The  one  with  the  bells on  it.  Rinse  them  out  and  aston  along  with  you!  Where  did  I stop.'^  Never  stop!  Continuarration !  You're  not  there  yet.  I amstel  waiting.  Garonne,  garonne!
Well,  after  it  was  put  in  the  Mericy  Cordial  Mendicants'  Sitter- dag-Zindeh-Munaday  Wakeschrift  (for  once  they  sullied  their white  kidloves,  chewing  cuds  after  their  dinners  of  cheeckin  and beggin,  with  their  show  us  it  here  and  their  mind  out  of  that  and their  when  you're  quite  finished  with  the  reading  matarial),  even the  snee  that  snowdon  his  hoaring  hair  had  a  skunner  against him.  Thaw,  thaw,  sava,  savuto!  Score  Her  Chuff  Exsquire! Everywhere  erriff  you  went  and  every  bung  you  arver  dropped into,  in  cit  or  suburb  or  in  addled  areas,  the  Rose  and  Bottle  or Phoenix  Tavern  or  Power's  Inn  or  Jude's  Hotel  or  wherever  you scoured  the  countryside  from  Nannywater  to  Vartryville  or  from Porta  Lateen  to  the  lootin  quarter  you  found  his  ikom  etsched tipside  down  or  the  cornerboys  cammocking  his  guy  and  Morris the  Man,  with  the  role  of  a  royss  in  his  turgos  the  turrible,  (Evro- peahahn  cheic  house,  unskimmed  sooit  and  yahoort,  hamman now  cheekmee,  Ahdahm  this  way  make,  Fatima,  half  turn!) reeling  and  railing  round  the  local  as  the  peihos  piped  und  uban- jees  twanged,  with  oddfellow's  triple  tiara  busby  rotundarinking round  his  scalp.  Like  Pate-by-the-Neva  or  Pete-over-Meer.  This is  the  Hausman  all  paven  and  stoned,  that  cribbed  the  Cabin  that never  was  owned  that  cocked  his  leg  and  hennad  his  Egg.  And
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the  mauldrin  rabble  around  him  in  areopage,  fracassing  a  great bingkan  cagnan  with  their  timpan  crowders.  Mind  your  Grimm- father!  Think  of  your  Ma!  Hing  the  Hong  is  his  jove's  hang- nomen !  Lilt  a  bolero,  bulling  a  law !  She  swore  on  croststyx  nyne wyndabouts  she's  be  level  with  all  the  snags  of  them  yet.  Par  the Vulnerable  Virgin's  Mary  del  Dame!  So  she  said  to  herself  she'd frame  a  plan  to  fake  a  shine,  the  mischiefmaker,  the  like  of  it  you niever  heard.  What  plan.'*  Tell  me  quick  and  dongu  so  crould! What  the  meurther  did  she  mague?  Well,  she  bergened  a  zakbag, a  shammy  mailsack,  with  the  lend  of  a  loan  of  the  light  of  his lampion,  off  one  of  her  swapsons,  Shaun  the  Post,  and  then  she went  and  consulted  her  chapboucqs,  old  Mot  Moore,  Casey's Euclid  and  the  Fashion  Display  and  made  herself  tidal  to  join in  the  mascarete.  O  gig  goggle  of  gigguels.  I  can't  tell  you  how! It's  too  screaming  to  rizo,  rabbit  it  all !  Minneha,  minnehi  mina- aehe,  minneho!  O  but  you  must,  you  must  really!  Make  my  hear it  gurgle  gurgle,  like  the  farest  gargle  gargle  in  the  dusky  dirgle dargle!  By  the  holy  well  of  Mulhuddart  I  swear  I'd  pledge  my chanza  getting  to  heaven  through  Tirry  and  Killy's  mount  of impiety  to  hear  it  all,  aviary  word!  O,  leave  me  my  faculties, woman,  a  while !  If  you  don't  like  my  story  get  out  of  the  punt. Well,  have  it  your  own  way,  so.  Here,  sit  down  and  do  as  you're bid.  Take  my  stroke  and  bend  to  your  bow.  Forward  in  and  pull your  overthepoise!  Lisp  it  slaney  and  crisp  it  quiet.  Deel  me  long- some.  Tongue  your  time  now.  Breathe  thet  deep.  Thouat's  the fairway.  Hurry  slow  and  Scheldt  you  go.  Lynd  us  your  blessed ashes  here  till  I  scrub  the  canon's  underpants.  Flow  now.  Ower more.  And  pooleypooley.
First  she  let  her  hair  fal  and  down  it  flussed  to  her  feet  its teviots  winding  coils.  Then,  mothernaked,  she  sampood  herself with  galawater  and  fraguant  pistania  mud,  wupper  and  lauar, from  crown  to  sole.  Next  she  greesed  the  groove  of  her  keel, warthes  and  wears  and  mole  and  itcher,  with  antifouling  butter- scatch  and  turfentide  and  serpenthyme  and  with  leafmould  she ushered  round  prunella  isles  and  eslats  dun,  quincecunct,  allover her  little  mary.  Peeld  gold  of  waxwork  her  jellybelly  and  her
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grains  of  incense  anguille  bronze.  And  after  that  she  wove  a  gar- land for  her  hair.  She  pleated  it.  She  plaited.it.  Of  meadowgrass and  riverflags,  the  bulrush  and  waterweed,  and  of  fallen  griefs  of weeping  willow.  Then  she  made  her  bracelets  and  her  anklets and  her  armlets  and  a  jetty  amulet  for  necklace  of  clicking  cobbles and  pattering  pebbles  and  rumbledown  rubble,  richmond  and rehr,  of  Irish  rhunerhinerstones  and  shellmarble  bangles.  That done,  a  dawk  of  smut  to  her  airy  ey,  Annushka  Lutetiavitch Pufflovah,  and  the  lellipos  cream  to  her  lippeleens  and  the  pick of  the  paintbox  for  her  pommettes,  from  strawbirry  reds  to extra  violates,  and  she  sendred  her  boudeloire  maids  to  His Affluence,  Ciliegia  Grande  and  Kirschie  Real,  the  two  chirsines, with  respecks  from  his  missus,  seepy  and  sewery,  and  a  request might  she  passe  of  him  for  a  minnikin.  A  call  to  pay  and  light  a taper,  in  Brie-on-Arrosa,  back  in  a  sprizzling.  The  cock  striking mine,  the  stalls  bridely  sign,  there's  Zambosy  waiting  for  Me! She  said  she  wouldn't  be  half  her  length  away.  Then,  then,  as soon  as  the  lump  his  back  was  turned,  with  her  mealiebag  slang over  her  shulder,  Anna  Livia,  oysterface,  forth  of  her  bassein came.
Describe  her!  Hustle  along,  why  can't  you.'*  Spitz  on  the  iern while  it's  hot.  I  wouldn't  miss  her  for  irthing  on  nerthe.  Not  for the  lucre  of  lomba  strait.  Oceans  of  Gaud,  I  mosel  hear  that! Ogowe  presta!  Leste,  before  Julia  sees  her!  Ishekarry  and  washe- meskad,  the  carishy  caratimaney.'^  Whole  lady  fair.'^  Duodecimo- roon?  Bon  a  ventura?  Malagassy.^  What  had  she  on,  the  liddel  oud oddity.'^  How  much  did  she  scallop,  harness  and  weights.'^  Here she  is,  Amnisty  Ann !  Call  her  calamity  electrifies  man.
No  electress  at  all  but  old  Moppa  Necessity,  angin  mother  of injons.  I'll  tell  you  a  test.  But  you  must  sit  still  Will  you  hold your  peace  and  listen  well  to  what  I  am  going  to  say  now.'^  It might  have  been  ten  or  twenty  to  one  of  the  night  of  AUclose  or the  nexth  of  April  when  the  flip  of  her  hoogly  igloo  flappered  and out  toetippit  a  bushman  woman,  the  dearest  little  moma  ever you  saw,  nodding  around  her,  all  smiles,  with  ems  of  embarras and  aues  to  awe,  between  two  ages,  a  judy queen,  not  up  to  your
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elb.  Quick,  look  at  her  cute  and  saise  her  quirk  for  the  bicker  she lives  the  slicker  she  grows.  Save  us  and  tagus !  No  more?  Werra where  in  ourthe  did  you  ever  pick  a  Lambay  chop  as  big  as  a battering  ram?  Ay,  you're  right.  Fm  epte  to  forgetting.  Like Liviam  Liddle  did  Loveme  Long.  The  linth  of  my  hough,  I  say ! She  wore  a  ploughboy's  nailstudded  clogs,  a  pair  of  ploughfields in  themselves:  a  sugarloaf  hat  with  a  gaudyquiviry  peak  and  a band  of  gorse  for  an  arnoment  and  a  hundred  streamers  dancing off  it  and  a  guildered  pin  to  pierce  it:  owlglassy  bicycles  boggled her  eyes:  and  a  fishnetzeveil  for  the  sun  not  to  spoil  the  wrinklings of  her  hydeaspects:  potatorings  boucled  the  loose  laubes  of  her laudsnarers:  her  nude  cuba  stockings  were  salmospotspeckled:  she sported  a  galligo  shimmy  of  hazevaipar  tinto  that  never  was  fast till  it  ran  in  the  washing:  stout  stays,  the  rivals,  lined  her  length: her  bloodorange  bockknickers,  a  two  in  one  garment,  showed natural  nigger  boggers,  fancyfastened,  free  to  undo:  her  black- stripe  tan  Joseph  was  sequansewn  and  teddybearlined,  with  wavy rushgreen  epaulettes  and  a  leadown  here  and  there  of  royal swansruff:  a  brace  of  gaspers  stuck  in  her  hay  rope  garters:  her civvy  codroy  coat  with  alpheubett  buttons  was  boundaried  round with  a  twobar  tunnel  belt:  a  fourpenny  bit  in  each  pocketside weighed  her  safe  from  the  blowaway  windrush;  she  had  a  clothes- peg  tight  astride  on  her  joki's  nose  and  she  kep  on  grinding  a sommething  quaint  in  her  fiumy  mouth  and  the  rrreke  of  the fluve  of  the  tail  of  the  gawan  of  her  snuffdrab  siouler's  skirt trailed  ffiffty  odd  Irish  miles  behind  her  lungarhodes.
Hellsbells,  Fm  sorry  I  missed  her!  Sweet  gumptyum  and  no- body fainted !  But  in  whelk  of  her  mouths?  Was  her  naze  alight? Everyone  that  saw  her  said  the  dowce  little  delia  looked  a  bit queer.  Lotsy  trotsy,  mind  the  poddle!  Missus,  be  good  and  don't fol  in  the  say!  Fenny  poor  hex  she  must  have  charred.  Kickhams a  frumpier  ever  you  saw!  Making  mush  mullet's  eyes  at  her  boys dobelon.  And  they  crowned  her  their  chariton  queen,  all  the maids.  Of  the  may?  You  don't  say!  Well  for  her  she  couldn't see  herself.  I  recknitz  wharfore  the  darling  murrayed  her  mirror. She  did?  Mersey  me!  There  was  a  koros  of  drouthdropping  sur-
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facemen,  boomslanging  and  plugchewing,  fruiteyeing  and  flower- feeding,  in  contemplation  of  the  fluctuation  and  the  undificatidn of  her  filimentation,  lolling  and  leasing  on  North  Lazers'  Waal all  eelfare  week  by  the  Jukar  Yoick's  and  as  soon  as  they  saw  her meander  by  that  marritime  way  in  her  grasswinter's  weeds  and twigged  who  was  under  her  archdeaconess  bonnet,  Avondale's fish  and  Clarence's  poison,  sedges  an  to  aneber,  Wit-upon- Crutches  to  Master  Bates:  Between  our  two  southsates  and  the granite  they  re  warmings  or  her  face  has  been  lifted  or  Alp  has  doped!
But  what  was  the  game  in  her  mixed  baggyrhatty?  Just  the tembo  in  her  tumbo  or  pilipili  from  her  pepperpot?  Saas  and taas  and  specis  bizaas.  And  where  in  thunder  did  she  plunder? Fore  the  battle  or  efter  the  ball?  I  want  to  get  it  frisk  from  the soorce.  I  aubette  my  bearb  it's  worth  while  poaching  on!  Shake it  up,  do,  do!  That's  a  good  old  son  of  a  ditch!  I  promise  Fll make  it  worth  your  while.  And  I  don't  mean  maybe.  Nor  yet with  a  goodfor.  Spey  me  pruth  and  I'll  tale  you  true.
Well,  arundgirond  in  a  waveney  lyne  aringarouma  she  pattered and  swung  and  sidled,  dribbling  her  boulder  through  narrowa mosses,  the  diliskydrear  on  our  drier  side  and  the  vilde  vetchvine agin  us,  curara  here,  career o  there,  not  knowing  which  medway or  weser  to  strike  it,  edereider,  making  chattahoochee  all  to  her ain  chichiu,  like  Santa  Claus  at  the  cree  of  the  pale  and  puny, nistling  to  hear  for  their  tiny  hearties,  her  arms  encircling  Isola- bella,  then  running  with  reconciled  Romas  and  Reims,  on  like  a lech  to  be  ofl"  like  a  dart,  then  bathing  Dirty  Hans'  spatters  with spittle,  with  a  Christmas  box  apiece  for  aisch  and  iveryone  of  her childer,  the  birthday  gifts  they  dreamt  they  gabe  her,  the  spoiled she  fleetly  laid  at  our  door!  On  the  matt,  by  the  pourch  and  in- under  the  cellar.  The  rivulets  ran  aflod  to  see,  the  glashaboys,  the pollynooties.  Out  of  the  paunschaup  on  to  the  pyre.  And  they  all about  her,  juvenile  leads  and  ingenuinas,  from  the  slime  of  their slums  and  artesaned  wellings,  rickets  and  riots,  like  the  Smyly boys  at  their  vicereine's  levee.  Vivi  vienne,  little  Annchen!  Vielo Anna,  high  life!  Sing  us  a  sula,  O,  susuria!  Ausone  sidulcis! Hasn't  she  tambre!  Chipping  her  and  raising  a  bit  of  a  chir  or  a
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jary  every  dive  she'd  neb  in  her  culdee  sacco  of  wabbash  she raabed  and  reach  out  her  maundy  meerschaundize,  poor  souvenir as  per  ricorder  and  all  for  sore  aringarung,  stinkers  and  heelers, laggards  and  primelads,  her  furzeborn  sons  and  dribblederry daughters,  a  thousand  and  one  of  them,  and  wickerpotluck  for each  of  them.  For  evil  and  ever.  And  kiks  the  buch.  A  tinker's bann  and  a  barrow  to  boil  his  billy  for  Gipsy  Lee;  a  cartridge  of cockaleekie  soup  for  Chummy  the  Guardsman;  for  sulky  Pen- der's acid  nephew  deltoid  drops,  curiously  strong;  a  cough  and a  rattle  and  wildrose  cheeks  for  poor  Piccolina  Petite  MacFarlane; a  jigsaw  puzzle  of  needles  and  pins  and  blankets  and  shins  between them  for  Isabel,  Jezebel  and  Llewelyn  Mmarriage;  a  brazen  nose and  pigiron  mittens  for  Johnny  Walker  Beg;  a  papar  flag  of  the saints  and  stripes  for  Kevineen  O'Dea;  a  puffpuff  for  Pudge  Craig and  a  nightmarching  hare  for  Techertim  Tombigby;  waterleg and  gumboots  each  for  Bully  Hayes  and  Hurricane  Hartigan; a  prodigal  heart  and  fatted  calves  for  Buck  Jones,  the  pride  of Clonliffe;  a  loaf  of  bread  and  a  father's  early  aim  for  Val  from Skibereen;  a  jauntingcar  for  Larry  Doolin,  the  Ballyclee  jackeen; a  seasick  trip  on  a  government  ship  for  Teague  O' Flanagan;  a louse  and  trap  for  Jerry  Coyle;  slushmincepies  for  Andy  Mac- kenzie; a  hairclip  and  clackdish  for  Penceless  Peter;  that  twelve sounds  look  for  G.  V.  Brooke;  a  drowned  doll,  to  face  down- wards for  modest  Sister  Anne  Mortimer;  altar  falls  for  Blanchisse's bed;  Wildairs'  breechettes  for  Magpeg  Woppington;  to  Sue  Dot a  big  eye;  to  Sam  Dash  a  false  step;  snakes  in  clover,  picked  and scotched,  and  a  vaticanned  viper  catcher's  visa  for  Patsy  Presbys; a  reiz  every  morning  for  Standfast  Dick  and  a  drop  every  minute for  Stumblestone  Davy;  scruboak  beads  for  beatified  Biddy;  two appletweed  stools  for  Eva  Mobbely;  for  Saara  Philpot  a  Jordan vale  tearorne;  a  pretty  box  of  Pettyfib's  Powder  for  Eileen  Aruna to  whiten  her  teeth  and  outflash  Helen  Arhone;  a  whippingtop for  Eddy  Lawless;  for  Kitty  Coleraine  of  Butterman's  Lane  a penny  wise  for  her  foolish  pitcher;  a  putty  shovel  for  Terry  the Puckaun;  an  apotamus  mask  for  Promoter  Dunne;  a  niester  egg with  a  twicedated  shell  and  a  dynamight  right  for  Pavl  the  Curate;
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a  collera  morbous  for  Mann  in  the  Cloack;  a  starr  and  girton  for Draper  and  Deane;  for  Will-of-the-Wisp  and  Barny-the-Bark  two mangolds  noble  to  sweeden  their  bitters;  for  Oliver  Bound  a way  in  his  frey;  for  Seumas,  thought  little,  a  crown  he  feels  big; a  tibertine's  pile  with  a  Congoswood  cross  on  the  back  for Sunny  Twimjim;  a  praises  be  and  spare  me  days  for  Brian  the Bravo;  penteplenty  of  pity  with  lubilashings  of  lust  for  Olona Lena  Magdalena;  for  Camilla,  Dromilla,  Ludmilla,  Mamilla,  a bucket,  a  packet,  a  book  and  a  pillow;  for  Nancy  Shannon  a Tuami  brooch;  for  Dora  Riparia  Hopeandwater  a  cooling  douche and  a  warmingpan;  a  pair  of  Blarney  braggs  for  Wally  Meagher; a  hairpin  slatepencil  for  Elsie  Oram  to  scratch  her  toby,  doing her  best  with  her  volgar  fractions;  an  old  age  pension  for  Betty Bellezza;  a  bag  of  the  blues  for  Funny  Fitz;  a  Missa  pro  Messa  for Taff  de  Taff;  Jill,  the  spoon  of  a  girl,  for  Jack,  the  broth  of  a  boy; a  Rogerson  Crusoe's  Friday  fast  for  Caducus  Angelus  Rubicon- stein;  three  hundred  and  sixtysix  poplin  tyne  for  revery  warp  in the  weaver's  woof  for  Victor  Hugonot;  a  stiff  steaded  rake  and good  varians  muck  for  Kate  the  Cleaner;  a  hole  in  the  ballad  for Hosty;  two  dozen  of  cradles  for  J.F.X.P.  Coppinger;  tenpounten on  the  pop  for  the  daulphins  born  with  five  spoiled  squibs  for Infanta;  a  letter  to  last  a  lifetime  for  Maggi  beyond  by  the  ashpit; the  heftiest  frozenmeat  woman  from  Lusk  to  Livienbad  for  Felim the  Ferry;  spas  and  speranza  and  symposium's  syrup  for  decayed and  blind  and  gouty  Gough;  a  change  of  naves  and  joys  of  ills for  Armoricus  Tristram  Amoor  Saint  Lawrence;  a  guillotine shirt  for  Reuben  Redbreast  and  hempen  suspendeats  for  Bren- nan  on  the  Moor;  an  oakanknee  for  Conditor  Sawyer  and  mus- quodoboits  for  Great  Tropical  Scott;  a  C3  peduncle  for  Karma- lite  Kane;  a  sunless  map  of  the  month,  including  the  sword  and stamps,  for  Shemus  O'Shaun  the  Post;  a  jackal  with  hide  for Browne  but  Nolan;  a  stonecold  shoulder  for  Donn  Joe  Vance; all  lock  and  no  stable  for  Honorbright  Merreytrickx;  a  big  drum for  Billy  Dunboyne;  a  guilty  goldeny  bellows,  below  me  blow me,  for  Ida  Ida  and  a  hushaby  rocker,  Elletrouvetout,  for  Who-is- silvier  —  "Where-is-he?;  whatever  you  like  to  swilly  to  swash,
Yuinness  or  Yennessy,  Laagen  or  Niger,  for  Festus  King  and Roaring  Peter  and  Frisky  Shorty  and  Treacle  Tom  and  O.  B. Behan  and  Sully  the  Thug  and  Master  Magrath  and  Peter  Cloran and  O'Delawarr  Rossa  and  Nerone  MacPacem  and  whoever  you chance  to  meet  knocking  around;  and  a  pig's  bladder  balloon  for Selina  Susquehanna  Stakelum.  But  what  did  she  give  to  Pruda Ward  and  Katty  Kanel  and  Peggy  Quilty  and  Briery  Brosna  and Teasy  Kieran  and  Ena  Lappin  and  Muriel  Maassy  and  Zusan  Camac and  Melissa  Bradogue  and  Flora  Ferns  and  Fauna  Fox-Good- man and  Grettna  Greaney  and  Penelope  Inglesante  and  Lezba Licking  like  Leytha  Liane  and  Roxana  Rohan  with  Simpatica Sohan  and  Una  Bina  Laterza  and  Trina  La  Mesme  and  Philomena O'Farrell  and  Irmak  Elly  and  Josephine  Foyle  and  Snakeshead Lily  and  Fountainoy  Laura  and  Marie  Xavier  Agnes  Daisy Frances  de  Sales  Macleay?  She  gave  them  ilcka  madre's  daughter a  moonflower  and  a  bloodvein:  but  the  grapes  that  ripe  before reason  to  them  that  devide  the  vinedress.  So  on  Izzy,  her  shame- maid,  love  shone  befond  her  tears  as  from  Shem,  her  penmight, life  past  befoul  his  prime.
My  colonial,  wardha  bagful!  A  bakereen's  dusind  with  tithe tillies  to  boot.  That's  what  you  may  call  a  tale  of  a  tub !  And  Hi- bernonian  market!  All  that  and  more  under  one  crinoline  enve- lope if  you  dare  to  break  the  porkbarrel  seal.  No  wonder  they'd run  from  her  pison  plague.  Throw  us  your  hudson  soap  for  the honour  of  Clane!  The  wee  taste  the  water  left.  I'll  raft  it  back, first  thing  in  the  marne.  Merced  mulde!  Ay,  and  don't  forget  the reckitts  I  lohaned  you.  You've  all  the  swirls  your  side  of  the  cur- rent. Well,  am  I  to  blame  for  that  if  I  have?  Who  said  you're  to blame  for  that  if  you  have.'^  You're  a  bit  on  the  sharp  side.  I'm  on the  wide.  Only  snuffers'  cornets  drifts  my  way  that  the  cracka dvine  chucks  out  of  his  cassock,  with  her  estheryear's  marsh narcissus  to  make  him  recant  his  vanitty  fair.  Foul  strips  of  his Chinook's  bible  I  do  be  reading,  dodwell  disgustered  but  chickled with  chuckles  at  the  tittles  is  drawn  on  the  tattlepage.  Senior  ga dito:  Faciasi  Omo!  E  omo  fu  fd.  Ho!  Ho!  Senior  ga  dito:  Faciasi Hidamol  Hidamo  se  ga  facessa.  Ha !  Ha !  And  Die  Windermere
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Dichter  and  Lefanu  (Sheridan's)  old  House  hy  the  Coachyard  and Mill  (J.)  On  Woman  with  Ditto  on  the  Floss.  Ja,  a  swamp  for  Alt- muehler  and  a  stone  for  his  flossies !  I  know  how  racy  they  move his  wheel.  My  hands  are  blawcauld  between  isker  and  suda  like that  piece  of  pattern  chayney  there,  lying  below.  Or  where  is  it? Lying  beside  the  sedge  I  saw  it.  Hoangho,  my  sorrow,  I've  lost it!  Aimihi!  With  that  turbary  water  who  could  see?  So  near  and yet  so  far!  But  O,  gihon!  I  lovat  a  gabber.  I  could  listen  to  maure and  moravar  again.  Regn  onder  river.  Flies  do  your  float.  Thick
is  the  life  for  mere.
Well,  you  know  or  don't  you  kennet  or  haven't  I  told  you
every  telling  has  a  taling  and  that's  the  he  and  the  she  of  it.  Look,  i look,  the  dusk  is  growing!  My  branches  lofty  are  taking  root. And  my  cold  cher's  gone  ashley.  Fieluhr?  Filou!  What  age  is  at? It  saon  is  late.  'Tis  endless  now  senne  eye  or  erewone  last  saw Waterhouse's  clogh.  They  took  it  asunder,  I  hurd  thum  sigh.  ^ When  will  they  reassemble  it?  O,  my  back,  my  back,  my  bach!  i        '  ^  l. I'd  want  to  go  to  Aches-les-Pains.  Pingpong!  There's  the  Belle  \  ^ for  Sexaloitez!  And  Concepta  de  Send-us-pray!  Pang!  Wring  out  t'^^^  ^7^-0  ^ the  clothes!  Wring  in  the  dew!  Godavari,  vert  the  showers!  And grant  thaya  grace!  Aman.  Will  we  spread  them  here  now?  Ay, we  will.  Flip!  Spread  on  your  bank  and  I'll  spread  mine  on  mine. Flep !  It's  what  I'm  doing.  Spread !  It's  churning  chill.  Der  went  is rising.  I'll  lay  a  few  stones  on  the  hostel  sheets.  A  man  and  his  bride embraced  between  them.  Else  I'd  have  sprinkled  and  folded  them only.  And  I'll  tie  my  butcher's  apron  here.  It's  suety  yet.  The strollers  will  pass  it  by.  Six  shifts,  ten  kerchiefs,  nine  to  hold  toj  ^ the  fire  and  this  for  the  code,  the  convent  napkins,  twelve,  one baby's  shawl.  Good  mother  Jossiph  knows,  she  said.  Whose head?  Mutter  snores?  Deataceas!  Wharnow  are  alle  her  childer, say?  In  kingdome  gone  or  power  to  come  or  gloria  be  to  them farther?  Allalivial,  allalluvial!  Some  here,  more  no  more,  more again  lost  alia  stranger.  I've  heard  tell  that  same  brooch  of  the Shannons  was  married  into  a  family  in  Spain.  And  all  the  Dun- ders  de  Dunnes  in  Markland's  Vineland  beyond  Brendan's  herring pool  takes  number  nine  in  yangsee's  hats.  And  one  of  Biddy's
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beads  went  bobbing  till  she  rounded  up  lost  histereve  with  a marigold  and  a  cobbler's  candle  in  a  side  strain  of  a  main  drain of  a  manzinahurries  off  Bachelor's  Walk.  But  all  that's  left  to  the last  of  the  Meaghers  in  the  loup  of  the  years  prefixed  and  between is  one  kneebuckle  and  two  hooks  in  the  front.  Do  you  tell  me that  now?  I  do  in  troth.  Orara  por  Orbe  and  poor  Las  Animas! Ussa,  Ulla,  we're  umbas  all!  Mezha,  didn't  you  hear  it  a  deluge  of times,  ufer  and  ufer,  respund  to  spond.^  You  deed,  you  deed!  I need,  I  need!  It's  that  irrawaddyng  I've  stoke  in  my  aars.  It  all but  husheth  the  lethest  zswound.  Oronoko!  What's  your  trouble? Is  that  the  great  Finnleader  himself  in  his  joakimono  on  his  statue riding  the  high  horse  there  forehengist?  Father  of  Otters,  it  is himself!  Yonne  there!  Isset  that?  On  Fallareen  Common?  You're thinking  of  Astley's  Amphitheayter  where  the  bobby  restrained you  making  sugarstuck  pouts  to  the  ghostwhite  horse  of  the Peppers.  Throw  the  cobwebs  from  your  eyes,  woman,  and  spread your  washing  proper!  It's  well  I  know  your  sort  of  slop.  Flap! Ireland  sober  is  Ireland  stiff.  Lord  help  you,  Maria,  full  of  grease, the  load  is  with  me!  Your  prayers.  I  sonht  zo!  Madammangut! Were  you  lifting  your  elbow,  tell  us,  glazy  cheeks,  in  Conway's Carrigacurra  canteen?  Was  I  what,  hobbledyhips?  Flop!  Your rere  gait's  creakorheuman  bitts  your  butts  disagrees.  Amn't  I up  since  the  damp  dawn,  marthared  mary  allacook,  with  Corri- gan's  pulse  and  varicoarse  veins',  my  pramaxle  smashed,  Alice Jane  in  decline  and  my  oneeyed  mongrel  twice  run  over,  soaking and  bleaching  boiler  rags,  and  sweating  cold,  a  widow  like  me, for  to  deck  my  tennis  champion  son,  the  laundryman  with  the lavandier  flannels?  You  won  your  limpopo  limp  fron  the  husky hussars  when  Collars  and  Cuffs  was  heir  to  the  town  and  your slur  gave  the  stink  to  Carlow.  Holy  Scamander,  I  sar  it  again! Near  the  golden  falls.  Icis  on  us!  Seints  of  light!  Zezere!  Subdue your  noise,  you  hamble  creature!  What  is  it  but  a  blackburry growth  or  the  dwyergray  ass  them  four  old  codgers  owns.  Are you  meanam  Tarpey  and  Lyons  and  Gregory?  I  meyne  now, thank  all,  the  four  of  them,  and  the  roar  of  them,  that  draves that  stray  in  the  mist  and  old  Johnny  MacDougal  along  with
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'i
r
them.  Is  that  the  Poolbeg  flasher  beyant,  pharphar,  or  a  fireboat coasting  nyar  the  Kishtna  or  a  glow  I  behold  within  a  hedge  or my  Garry  come  back  from  the  Indes?  Wait  till  the  honeying  of the  lune,  love!  Die  eve,  little  eve,  die!  We  see  that  wonder  in your  eye.  We'll  meet  again,  we'll  part  once  more.  The  spot  I'll seek  if  the  hour  you'll  find.  My  chart  shines  high  where  the  blue milk's  upset.  Forgivemequick,  I'm  going!  Bubye!  And  you, pluck  your  watch,  forgetmenot.  Your  evenlode.  So  save  to jurna's  end!  My  sights  are  swimming  thicker  on  me  by  the  sha- dows to  this  place.  I  sow  home  slowly  now  by  own  way,  moy- valley  way.  Towy  I  too,  rathmine.
Ah,  but  she  was  the  queer  old  skeowsha  anyhow,  Anna  Livia, trinkettoes!  And  sure  he  was  the  quare  old  buntz  too.  Dear  Dirty Dumpling,  foostherfather  of  fingalls  and  dotthergills.  Gammer and  gaffer  we're  all  their  gangsters.  Hadn't  he  seven  dams  to  wive him.'^  And  every  dam  had  her  seven  crutches.  And  every  crutch had  its  seven  hues.  And  each  hue  had  a  differing  cry.  Sudds  for me  and  supper  for  you  and  the  doctor's  bill  for  Joe  John.  Befor! Bifur!  He  married  his  markets,  cheap  by  foul,  I  know,  like  any Etrurian  Catholic  Heathen,  in  their  pinky  limony  creamy  birnies and  their  turkiss  indienne  mauves.  But  at  milkidmass  who  was the  spouse.'^  Then  all  that  was  was  fair.  Tys  Elvenland !  Teems  of times  and  happy  returns.  The  seim  anew.  Ordovico  or  viricordo. Anna  :was,  Livia  is,^  Plurabelle's  to  be.  Northmen's  thing  made southfolk's  place  but  howmulty  plurators  made  eachone  in  per- son.'^ Latin  me  that,  my  trinity  scholard,  out  of  cure  sanscreed  into oure  eryan!  Hircus  Civis  Ehlanensis!  He  had  buckgoat  paps  on him,  soft  ones  for  orphans.  Ho,  Lord !  Twins  of  his  bosom.  Lord save  us!  And  ho!  Hey.^  What  all  men.  Hot.^  His  tittering  daugh- ters of.  Whawk.^
Can't  hear  with  the  waters  of.  The  chittering  waters  of.  Flitter- ing bats,  fieldmice  bawk  talk.  Ho!  Are  you  not  gone  ahome.'* What  Thom  Malone.^  Can't  hear  with  bawk  of  bats,  all  thim  liffey- ing  waters  of.  Ho,  talk  save  us !  My  foos  won't  moos.  I  feel  as  old as  yonder  elm.  A  tale  told  of  Shaun  or  Shem.^  All  Livia's  daughter- sons.  Dark  hawks  hear  us.  Night!  Night!  My  ho  head  halls.  I  feel
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as  heavy  as  yonder  stone.  Tell  me  of  John  or  Shaun?  Who  were Shem  and  Shaun  the  living  sons  or  daughters  of?  Night  now! Tell  me,  tell  me,  tell  me,  elm!  Night  night!  Telmetale  of  stem  or stone.  Beside  the  rivering  waters  of,  hitherandthithering  waters of.  Night!
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II
L
Every  evening  at  lighting  up  o'clock  sharp  and  until  further notice  in  Feenichts  Playhouse.  (Bar  and  conveniences  always open,  Diddlem  Club  douncestears.)  Entrancings:  gads,  a  scrab; the  quality,  one  large  shilling.  Newly  billed  for  each  wickeday perfumance.  Somndoze  massinees.  By  arraignment,  childream's hours,  expercatered.  Jampots,  rinsed  porters,  taken  in  token.  With nightly  redistribution  of  parts  and  players  by  the  puppetry  pro- ducer and  daily  dubbing  of  ghosters,  with  the  benediction  of  the Holy  Genesius  Archimimus  and  under  the  distinguished  patron- age of  their  Elderships  the  Oldens  from  the  four  coroners  of Findrias,  Murias,  Gorias  and  Falias,  Messoirs  the  Coarbs,  Clive SoUis,  Galorius  Kettle,  Pobiedo  Lancey  and  Pierre  Dusort, while  the  Caesar-in-Chief  looks.  On.  Sennet.  As  played  to  the  "  '  ^  ^ Adelphi  by  the  Brothers  Bratislavoff  (Hyrcan  and  Haristobulus), f\  after  humpteen  dumpteen  revivals.  Before  all  the  King's  Hoarsers with  all  the  Queen's  Mum.  And  wordloosed  over  seven  seas crowdblast  in  cellelleneteutoslavzendlatinsoundscript.  In  four tubbloids.  While  fern  may  cald  us  until  firn  make  cold.  The  Mime oj  Micky  Nick  and  the  Maggies^  adopted  from  the  Ballymooney Bloodriddon  Murther  by  Bluechin  Blackdillain  (authorways  *Big Storey'),  featuring:
GLUGG  (Mr  Seumas  McQuillad,  hear  the  riddles  between  the  ^  ^  ^ robot  in  his  dress  circular  and  the  gagster  in  the  rogues'  gallery), the  bold^ad  bleak  boy  of  the  storybooks,  who,  when  the  tabs  go
up,  as  we  discover,  because  he  knew  to  mutch,  has  been  divorced into  disgrace  court  by
THE  FLORAS  (Girl  Scouts  froHi  St.  Bride's  Finishing  Establish- ment, demand  acidulateds),  a  month's  bunch  of  pretty  maidens who,  while  they  pick  on  her,  their  pet  peeve,  form  with  valkyri- enne  licence  the  guard  for
izoD  (Miss  Butys  Pott,  ask  the  attendantess  for  a  leaflet),  a  be- witching blonde  who  dimples  delightfully  and  is  approached  in loveliness  only  by  her  grateful  sister  reflection  in  a  mirror,  the  cloud of  the  opal,  who,  having  jilted  GJugg,  is  being  fatally  fascinated  by
CHUFF  (Mr  Sean  O'Mailey,  see  the  chalk  and  sanguine  picto- graph  on  the  safety  drop),  the  fine  frank  fairhaired  fellow  of  the fairytales,  who  wrestles  for  tophole  with  the  bold  bad  bleak  boy Glugg,  geminally  about  caps  or  puds  or  tog  bags  or  bog  gats  or chuting  rudskin  gunerally  or  something,  until  they  adumbrace  a pattern  of  somebody  else  or  other,  after  which  they  are  both  car- ried oflF  the  set  and  brought  home  to  be  well  soaped,  sponged  and scrubbed  again  by
ANN  (Miss  Corrie  Corriendo,  Grischun  scoula,  bring  the  babes, Pieder,  Poder  and  Turtey,  she  mistributes  mandamus  monies, after  perdunamento,  hendrud  aloven  entrees,  pulcinellis  must  not miss  our  national  rooster's  rag),  their  poor  little  old  mother-in- lieu,  who  is  woman  of  the  house,  playing  opposite  to
HUMP  (Mr  Makeall  Gone,  read  the  sayings  from  Laxdalesaga in  the  programme  about  King  Ericus  of  Schweden  and  the  spirit's whispers  in  his  magical  helmet),  cap-a-pipe  with  watch  and  top- per, coat,  crest  and  supporters,  the  cause  of  all  our  grievances, the  whirl,  the  flash  and  the  trouble,  who,  having  partially  re- covered from  a  recent  impeachment  due  to  egg  everlasting,  but throughandthoroughly  proconverted,  propounded  for  cyclo- logical,  is,  studding  sail  once  more,  jibsheets  and  royals,  in  the semblance  of  the  substance  for  the  membrance  of  the  umbrance with  the  remnance  of  the  emblence  reveiling  a  quemdam  super- cargo, of  The  Rockery,  Poopinheavin,  engaged  in  entertaining in  his  pilgrimst  customhouse  at  Caherlehome-upon-Eskur  those statutory  persons
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THE  CUSTOMERS  (Components  of  the  Afterhour  Courses  at  St. Patricius'  Academy  for  Grownup  Gentlemen,  consult  the  annu- ary,  coldporters  sibsuction),  a  bundle  of  a  dozen  of  representa- tive locomotive  civics,  each  inn  quest  of  outings,  who  are  still    ^  /  sa^- more  sloppily  served  after  every  cup  final  by
SAUNDERSON  (Mr  Kuut  Oelsvinger,  Tiffsdays  off,  wouldntstop in  bad,  imitation  of  flatfish,  torchbearing  supperaape,  dud  half-  ^/ct^'*  ^ sovereign,  no  chee  daily,  roily  pollsies.  Glen  of  the  Downs,  the Gugnir,  his  geyswerks,  his  earsequack,  his  lokistroki,  o.s.v.),  a scherinsheiner  and  spoilcurate,  unconcerned  in  the  mystery  but under  the  inflounce  of  the  milldieuw  and  butt  of
KATE  (Miss  Rachel  Lea  Varian,  she  tells  forkings  for  baschfel- lors,  under  purdah  of  card  palmer  teaput  tosspot  Madam  d'Elta, during  the  pawses),  kook-and-dishdrudge,  whitch  believes  wan- thingthats,  whouse  be  the  churchyard  or  whorts  up  the  aasgaars, the  show  must  go  on.
Time:  the  pressant.  r
With  futurist  onehorse  balletbattle  pictures  and  the  Pageant of  Past  History  worked  up  with  animal  variations  amid  ever-  t-^^ glaning  mangrovemazes  and  beorbtracktors  by  Messrs  Thud  and Blunder.  Shadows  by  the  film  folk,  masses  by  the  good  people. Promptings  by  Elanio  Vitale.  Longshots,  upcloses,  outblacks  and  i  <  I  -  ^  . ' stagetolets  by  Hexenschuss,  Coachmaher,  Incubone  and  Rock- narrag.  Creations  tastefully  designed  by  Madame  Berthe  Dela- mode.  Dances  arranged  by  Harley  Quinn  and  Coollimbeina. Jests,  jokes,  jigs  and  jorums  for  the  Wake  lent  from  the  properties of  the  late  cemented  Mr  T.  M.  Finnegan  R.I.C.  Lipmasks  and hairwigs  by  Ouida  Nooikke.  Limes  and  Floods  by  Crooker  and Toll.  Kopay  pibe  by  Kappa  Pedersen.  Hoed  Pine  hat  with twentyfour  ventholes  by  Morgen.  Bosse  and  stringbag  from Heteroditheroe's  and  All  Ladies'  presents.  Tree  taken  for  grafted. Rock  rent.  Phenecian  blends  and  Sourdanian  doofpoosts  by Shauvesourishe  and  Wohntbedarft.  The  oakmulberryeke  with silktrick  twomesh  from  Shop-Sowry,  seedsmanchap.  Grabstone beg  from  General  Orders  Mailed.  The  crack  (that's  Cork!)  by a  smoker  from  the  gods.  The  interjection  (Buckley!)  by  the  fire-
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ment  in  the  pit.  Accidental  music  providentially  arranged  by L'Archet  and  Laccorde.  Melodiotiosities  in  purefusion  by  the score.  To  start  with  in  the  beginning,  we  need  hirtly  bemark, a  community  prayer,  everyone  for  himself,  and  to  conclude with  as  an  exodus,  we  think  it  well  to  add,  a  chorale  in  canon, good  for  us  all  for  us  all  us  all  all.  Songs  betune  the  acts  by the  ambiamphions  of  Annapolis,  Joan  MockComic,  male  so- prano, and  Jean  Souslevin,  bass  noble,  respectively:  O,  Mester Sogermon,  ef  thes  es  whot  ye  deux,  then  I'm  not  surpleased  ye want  that  bottle  of  Sauvequipeu  and  Oh  Off  Nunch  Der  Rasche Ver  Lasse  Mitsch  Nitscht.  Till  the  summit  scenes  of  climbacks castastrophear.  The  Bearded  Mountain  (Polymop  Barethe- rootsch),  and  The  River  Romps  to  Nursery  (Maidykins  in  Undi- form).  The  whole  thugogmagog,  including  the  portions  under- stood to  be  oddmitted  as  the  results  of  the  respective  titulars neglecting  to  produce  themselves,  to  be  wound  up  for  an  after- enactment  by  a  Magnificent  Transformation  Scene  showing  the Radium  Wedding  of  Neid  and  Moorning  and  the  Dawn  of Peace,  Pure,  Perfect  and  Perpetual,  Waking  the  Weary  of  the World.
An  argument  follows.
Chuffy  was  a  nangel  then  and  his  soard  fleshed  light  like  like- ning. Fools  top!  Singty,  sangty,  meekly  loose,  defendy  nous  from prowlabouts.  Make  a  shine  on  the  curst.  Emen.
But  the  duvlin  sulph  was  in  Glugger,  that  lost-to-lurning. Punct.  He  was  sbufiing  and  sputing,  tussing  like  anisine,  whip- ping his  eyesoult  and  gnatsching  his  teats  over  the  brividies  from existers  and  the  outher  liubbocks  of  life.  He  halth  kelchy  chosen a  clayblade  and  makes  prayses  to  his  three  of  clubs.  To  part  from these,  my  corsets,  is  into  overlusting  fear.  Acts  of  feet,  hoof  and jarrety:  athletes  longfoot.  Djowl,  uphere!
Aminxt  that  nombre  of  evelings,  but  how  pierceful  in  their  so- jestiveness  were  those  first  girly  stirs,  with  zitterings  of  flight  re- leased and  twinglings  of  twitchbells  in  rondel  after,  with  waver- ings that  made  shimmershake  rather  naightily  all  the  duskcended airs  and  shylit  beaconings  from  shehind  hims  back.  Sammy,  call
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I  I
on.  Mirrylamb,  she  was  shuffering  all  the  diseasinesses  of  the  un-
herd  of.  Mary  Louisan  Shousapinas !  If  Arck  could  no  more  salve
his  agnols  from  the  wiles  of  willy  wooly  woolf !  If  all  the  airish
signics  of  her  dipandump  helpabit  from  an  Father  Hogam  till
the  Mutther  Masons  could  not  that  Glugg  to  catch  her  by  the
calour  of  her  brideness!  Not  Rose,  Sevilla  nor  Citronelle;  not
Esmeralde,  Pervinca  nor  Indra;  not  Viola  even  nor  all  of  them  ^    .^yV  ^^i-*^
four  themes  over.  But,  the  rnqnthage  stick  in  the  melmelode  jawr,  A^^^^^^^v'^
I  am  (twintomine)  all  thees  thing.  Up  tighty  in  the  front,  down
again  on  the  loose,  drim  and  drumming  on  her  back  and  a  pop
from  her  whistle.  What  is  that,  O  holy  troopers.^  Isot  givin  yoe?
Up  he  stulpled,  glee  you  gees,  with  search  a  fling  did  die  near sea,  beamy  owen  and  calmy  hugh  and  if  you  what  you  my  call  for me  I  will  wishyoumaycull  for  you.
And  they  are  met,  face  a  facing.  They  are  set,  force  to  force. And  no  such  Copenhague-Marengo  was  less  so  fated  for  a  fall since  in  Glenasmole  of  Smiling  Thrushes  Patch  Whyte  passed O 'Sheen  ascowl.
Arrest  thee,  scaldbrother !  came  the  evangelion,  sabre  accu- sant, from  all  Sairit  Joan's  Wood  to  kill  or  maim  him,  and  be  / dumm  but  ill  s'arrested.  Et  would  proffer  to  his  delected  one  the his  trifle  from  the  grass.
A  space.  W^ho  are  you.'^  The  cat's  mother.  A  time.  What  do you  lack.^  The  look  of  a  queen.
But  what  is  that  which  is  one  going  to  prehend.'^  Seeks,  buzzling is  brains,  the  feinder.
The  howtosayto  itiswhatis  hemustwhomust  worden  schall. A  darktongues,  kunning.  O  theoperil!  Ethiaop  lore,  the  poor  lie.  k  -^  ^  ^  ' He  askit  of  the  hoothed  fireshield  but  it  was  untergone  into  the matthued  heaven.  He  soughed  it  from  the  luft  but  that  bore  ne  il  ' mark  ne  message.  He  luked  upon  the  bloomingrund  where  ongly his  corns  were  growning.  At  last  he  listed  back  to  beckline  how she^ranked  alone_so  johntily.  The  skand  for  schooling.        M  ^
With  nought  a  wired  from  the  wordless  either.
Item.  He  was  hardset  then.  He  wented  to  go  (somewhere)  while he  was  weeting.  Utem.  He  wished  to  grieve  on  the  good  persons,  that
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is  the  four  gentlemen.  Otem.  And  it  was  not  a  long  time  till  he  was feeling  true  forim  he  was  goodda  purssia  and  it  was  short  after  that he  was  fooling  mehaunt  to  mehynte  he  was  an  injine  ruber.  Etem. He  was  at  his  thinker's  aunts  to  give  (the  four  gentlemen)  the presence  (of  a  curpse).  And  this  is  what  he  would  be  willing.  He fould  the  fourd;  they  found  the  hurtled  stones;  they  fell  ill  with  the gravy  duck:  and  he  sod  town  with  the  roust  of  the  meast.  Atem. Towhere  byhangs  ourtales.
Ah  ho!  This  poor  Glugg!  It  was  so  said  of  him  about  of  his  old fontmouther.  Truly  deplurabel!  Adire,  Odire!  And  all  the  freight- fullness  whom  he  inhebited  after  his  colline  born  janitor.  Some- time towerable !  With  that  hehry  antlets  on  him  and  the  bauble- light  bulching  out  of  his  sockets  whiling  away  she  sprankled  his allover  with  her  noces  of  interregnation:  How  do  you  do  that  lack a  lock  and  pass  the  poker,  please.'^  And  bids  him  tend  her,  lute and  airly.  Sing,  sweetharp,  thing  to  me  anone!  So  that  Glugg, ^<'/  the  poor  one,  in  that  limbopool  which  was  his  subnesciousness
L  [P^  he  could  scares  of  all  knotknow  whither  his  morrder  had  bourst a  blabber  or  if  the  vogalstones  that  hit  his  tynpan  was  that  mearly his  skoll  missed  her.  Misty's  trompe  or  midst  his  flooting.^  Ah, ho!  Cicely,  awe!
The  youngly  delightsome  frilles-in-pleyurs  are  now  showen drawen,  if  bud  one,  or,  if  in  florileague,  drawens  up  consociately at  the  hinder  sight  of  their  commoner  guardian.  Her  boy  fiend  or theirs,  if  they  are  so  plurielled,  cometh  up  as  a  trapadour,  sinking how  he  must  fand  for  himself  by  gazework  what  their  colours wear  as  they  are  all  showen  drawens  up.  Tireton,  cacheton,  tire- ton,  ba!  Doth  that  not  satisfy  youth,  sir.'^  Quanty  purty  bellas, here,  Madama  Lifay!  And  what  are  you  going  to  charm  them  to, Madama,  do  say.^  Cinderynelly  angled  her  slipper;  it  was  cho cliiny  yet  braught  her  a  groom.  He  will  angskt  of  them  from  their commoner  guardian  at  next  lineup  (who  is  really  the  rapier  of  the two  though  tliother  brother  can  hold  his  own,  especially  for  he bandished  it  with  his  hand  the  hold  time,  mamain,  a  simply  gra- cious: Mi,  O  la!),  and  reloose  that  thong  off  his  art:  Hast  thou  feel liked  carbunckley  ones?  Apun  which  his  poohoor  pricoxity  theirs
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is  a  little  tittertit  of  hilarity  (Lad-o'-me-soul  I  Lad-o'-me-soul, see!)  and  the  wordchary  is  atvoiced  ringsoundinly  by  their  toots ensembled,  though  not  meaning  to  be  clever,  but  just  with  a  shrug of  their  hips  to  go  to  troy  and  harff  a  freak  at  himself  by  all  that story  to  the  ulstramarines.  Otherwised,  holding  their  noises, they  insinuate  quiet  private,  Ni,  he  make  peace  in  his  preaches and  play  with  esteem. Warewolff!  Olff!  Toboo!
So  olff  for  his  topheetuck  the  ruck  made  raid,  aslick  aslegs would  run;  and  he  ankered  on  his  hunkers  with  the  belly  belly prest.  Asking:  What's  my  muffinstuffinaches  for  these  times?  To weat:  Breath  and  bother  and  whatarcurss.  Then  breath  more bother  and  more  whatarcurss.  Then  no  breath  no  bother  but  wor-  , rawarrawurms.  And  Shim  shallave  shome.  f^-^  m    </%'^-^  i^^^
As  Rigagnolina  to  Mountagnone,  what  she  meaned  he  could not  can.  All  she  meaned  was  golten  sylvup,  all  she  meaned  was some  Knight's  ploung  jamn.  It's  driving  her  dafFt  like  he's  so dumnb.  If  he'd  lonely  talk  instead  of  only  gawk  as  thought  yate- man  hat  stuck  hits  stick  althrough  his  spokes  and  if  he  woold  nut wolly  so!  Hee.  Speak,  sweety  bird!  Mitzymitzy!  Though  I  did ate  tough  turf  I'm  not  the  bogdoxy.
—  Have  you  monbreamstone?
—  No.
—  Or  Hellfeuersteyn?
—  No.
—  Or  Van  Diemen's  coral  pearl?
—  No.
He  has  lost.
Off  to  clutch,  Glugg!  Forwhat!  Shape  your  reres,  Glugg!  /'^ -^^^ Foreweal!  Ring  we  round.  Chuff!  Fairwell!  Chuffchuff's  inners  -  f/. , even.  All's  rice  with  their  whorl!
Yet,  ah  tears,  who  can  her  mater  be?  She's  promised  he'd  eye her.  To  try  up  her  pretti.  But  now  it's  so  longed  and  so  fared  and so  forth.  Jerry  for  jauntings.  Alabye!  Fled.
The  flossies  all  and  mossies  all  they  drooped  upon  her  draped brimfall.  The  bowknots,  the  showlots,  they  wilted  into  woeblots.
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The  pearlagraph,  the  pearlagraph,  knew  whitchly  whether  to  weep or  laugh.  For  always  down  in  Carolinas  lovely  Dinahs  vaunt  their view.
Poor  Isa  sits  a  glooming  so  gleaming  in  the  gloaming;  the  tin- celles  a  touch  tarnished  wind  no  lovelinoise  awound  her  swan's. Hey,  lass!  Woefear  gleam  she  so  glooming,  this  pooripathete  I solde?  Her  beauman's  gone  of  a  cool.  Be  good  enough  to  symper- ise.  If  he's  at  anywhere  she's  therefor  to  join  him.  If  it's  to  no- where she's  going  to  too.  Buf  if  he'll  go  to  be  a  son  to  France's she'll  stay  daughter  of  Clare.  Bring  tansy,  throw  myrtle,  strew rue,  rue,  rue.  She  is  fading  out  like  Journee's  clothes  so  you  can't see  her  now.  Still  we  know  how  Day  the  Dyer  works,  in  dims and  deeps  and  dusks  and  darks.  And  among  the  shades  that  Eve's now  wearing  she'll  meet  anew  fiancy,  tryst  and  trow.  Mammy was,  Mimmy  is,  Minuscoline's  to  be.  In  the  Dee  dips  a  dame  and the  dame  desires  a  demselle  but  the  demselle  dresses  dolly  and the  dolly  does  a  dulcydamble.  The  same  renew.  For  though she's  unmerried  she'll  after  truss  up  and  help  that  hussyband  how to  hop.  Hip  it  and  trip  it  and  chirrub  and  sing.  Lord  Chuffy's  sky sheraph  and  Glugg's  got  to  swing.
So  and  so,  toe  by  toe,  to  and  fro  they  go  round,  for  they  are  the ingelles,  scattering  nods  as  girls  who  may,  for  they  are  an  angel's garland.
Catchmire  stockings,  libertyed  garters,  shoddyshoes,  quicked out  with  selver.  Pennyfair  caps  on  pinnyfore  frocks  and  a  ring  on her  fomefing  finger.  And  they  leap  so  looply,  looply,  as  they  link to  light.  And  they  look  so  loovely,  loovelit,  noosed  in  a  nuptious night.  Withasly  glints  in.  Andecoy  giants  out.  They  ramp  it  a little,  a  lessle,  a  lissle.  Then  rompride  round  in  rout.
Say  them  all  but  tell  them  apart,  cadenzando  coloratura!  R  is Rubretta  and  A  is  Arancia,  Y  is  for  Yilla  and  N  for  greeneriN.  B is  Boyblue  with  odalisque  O  while  W  waters  the  fleurettes  of  no- vembrance.  Though  they're  all  but  merely  a  schoolgirl  yet  these way  went  they.  I'  th'  view  o'  th'avignue  dancing  goes  entrancing roundly.  Miss  Oodles  of  Anems  before  the  Luvium  doeslike.  So. And  then  again  doeslike.  So.  And  miss  Endles  of  Eons  efter  Dies
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of  Eirae  doeslike.  So.  And  then  again  doeslike.  So.  The  many wiles  of  Winsure.
The  grocer's  bawd  she  slips  her  hand  in  the  haricot  bag,  the lady  in  waiting  sips  her  sup  from  the  paraffin  can,  Mrs  Wildhare Quickdoctor  belts  her  skelts  up  the  casuaway  the  flasht  instinct she  herds  if  a  tinkle  of  tunder,  the  widow  Megrievy  she  knits  cats' cradles,  this  bountiful  actress  leashes  a  harrier  under  her  tongue, and  here's  the  girl  who  she's  kneeled  in  coldfashion  and  she's  told her  priest  (spt!)  she's  pot  on  a  chap  (chp!)  and  this  lass  not  least, this  rickissime  woman,  who  she  writes  foot  fortunes  money  times over  in  the  nursery  dust  with  her  capital  thumb.  Buzz.  All  run- away sheep  bound  back  bopeep,  trailing  their  teenes  behind them.  And  these  ways  wend  they.  And  those  ways  went  they. Winnie,  Olive  and  Beatrice,  Nelly  and  Ida,  Amy  and  Rue.  Here they  come  back,  all  the  gay  pack,  for  they  are  the  florals,  from foncey  and  pansey  to  papavere's  blush,  foresake-me-nought, while  there's  leaf  there's  hope,  with  primtim's  ruse  and  marry- may's  blossom,  all  the  flowers  of  the  ancelles'  garden.
But  vicereversing  thereout  from  those  palms  of  perfection  to anger  arbour,  treerack  monatan,  scroucely  out  of  scout  of  ocean, virid  with  woad,  what  tornaments  of  complementary  rages  rocked the  divlun  from  his  punchpoll  to  his  tummy's  shentre  as  he  dis- plaid  all  the  oathword  science  of  his  visible  disgrace.  He  was feeling  so  funny  and  floored  for  the  cue,  all  over  which  girls  as he  don't  know  whose  hue.  If  goosseys  gazious  would  but  fain smile  him  a  smile  he  would  be  fondling  a  praise  he  ate  some  nice bit  of  fluff".  But  no  geste  reveals  the  unconnouth.  They're  all odds  against  him,  the  beasties.  Scratch.  Start.
He  dove  his  head  into  Wat  Murrey,  gave  Stewart  Ryall  a  puck on  the  plexus,  wrestled  a  hurry-come-union  with  the  Gillie  Beg, wiped  all  his  sinses,  martial  and  menial,  out  of  Shrove  Sundy MacFearsome,  excremuncted  as  freely  as  any  frothblower  into Maclsaac,  had  a  belting  bout,  chaste  to  chaste,  with  McAdoo about  nothing  and,  childhood's  age  being  aye  the  shameleast,  tel a  Tartaran  tastarin  toothsome  tarrascone  tourtoun,  vestimentiv- orous  chlamydophagian,  imbretellated  himself  for  any  time  un-
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tellable  with  what  hung  over  to  the  Machonochie  Middle  from the  MacSiccaries  of  the  Breeks.  Home!
Allwhile,  moush  missuies  from  mungy  monsie,  preying  in his  mind,  son  of  Everallin,  within  himself,  he  swure.  Macnoon maggoty  mag!  Cross  of  a  coppersmith  bishop!  He  would  split. He  do  big  squeal  like  holy  Trichepatte.  Seek  hells  where  from yank  islanders  the  petriote's  absolation.  Mocknitza!  Genik!  He take  skiff  come  first  dagrene  day  overwide  tumbler,  rough  and dark,  till  when  bow  of  the  shower  show  of  the  bower  with  three shirts  and  a  wind,  pagoda  permettant,  crookolevante,  the  bruce, the  coriolano  and  the  ignacio.  From  prudals  to  the  secular  but from  the  cumman  to  the  nowter.  Byebye,  Brassolis,  Pm  breaving! Our  war,  Dully  Gray!  A  conansdream  of  lodascircles,  he  here schlucefinis.  Gelchasser  no  more!  Mischnary  for  the  minestrary to  all  the  sems  of  Aram.  Shimach,  eon  of  Era.  Mum's  for's maxim,  ban's  for's  book  and  Dodgesome  Dora  for  hedgehung sheolmastress.  And  Unkel  Silanse  coach  in  diligence.  Discon- nection of  the  succeeding.  He  wholehog  himself  for  carberry banishment  care  of  Pencylmania,  Bretish  Armerica,  to  melt  Mrs Gloria  of  the  Bunkers'  Trust,  recorporated,  (prunty!)  by  meteo- romancy  and  linguified  heissrohgin,  quit  to  hail  a  hurry  laracor and  catch  the  Paname-Turricum  and  regain  that  absendee  tarry easty,  his  citta  immediata,  by  an  alley  and  detour  with  farecard awailable  getrennty  years.  Right  for  Rovy  the  Roder.  From  the safe  side  of  distance!  Libera,  nostalgia!  Beate  Laurentie  O'Tuli, Euro  pra  nobis!  Every  monk  his  own  cashel  where  every  little ligger  is  his  own  liogotenente  with  inclined  jambs  in  full  purview to  his  pronaose  and  to  the  deretane  at  his  reredoss.  Fuisfinister, fuyerescaper!  He  would,  with  the  greatest  of  ease,  before  of weighting  midhook,  by  dear  home  trashold  on  the  raging  canal, for  othersites  of  Jorden,  (heave  a  hevy,  waterboy!)  make  one of  hissens  with  a  knockonacow  and  a  chow  collegions  and  fire off,  gheol  ghiomal,  foull  subustioned  mullmud,  his  farced  epistol to  the  hibruws.  From  Cernilius  slomtime  prepositus  of  Toumaria to  the  clutch  in  Anteach.  Salvo!  Ladigs  and  jointuremen!  No  more turdenskaulds!  Free  leaves  for  ebribadies!  All  tinsammon  in  the
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yord!  With  harm  and  aches  till  farther  alters!  Wild  primates  not stop  him  frem  at  rearing  a  writing  in  handy  antics.  Nom  de plume/  Gout  strap  Fenlanns!  And  send  Jarge  for  Mary  Ink- lenders!  And  daunt  you  logh  if  his  vineshanky's  schwemmy! For  he  is  the  general,  make  no  mistake  in  he.  He  is  General Jinglesome.
Go  in  for  scnbenery  with  the  satiety  of  arthurs  in  S.P.Q.R.ish and  inform  to  the  old  sniggering  publicking  press  and  its  nation of  sheepcojpers  about  the  whole  plighty  troth  between  them,  ma- lady of  milady  made  melodi  of  malodi,  she,  the  lalage  of  lyon- esses,  and  him,  her  knave  arrant.  To  Wildrose  La  Gilligan  from Croppy  Crowhore.  For  all  within  crystal  range.
Ukalepe.  Loathers'  leave.  Had  Days.  Nemo  in  Patria.  The Luncher  Out.  Skilly  and  Carubdish.  A  Wondering  Wreck.  From the  Mermaids'  Tavern.  Bullyfamous.  Naughtsycalves.  Mother  of Misery.  Walpurgas  Nackt.
Maleesh!  He  would  bare  to  un tired  world  of  Leimunconon- nulstria  (and  what  a  strip  poker  globbtrottel  they  pairs  would looks!)  how  wholefallows,  his  gufFer,  the  Sabbatarian  (might faction  split  his  beard!),  he  too  had  a  great  big  oh  in  the megafundum  of  his  tomashunders  and  how  her  Lettyshape,  his gummer,  that  congealed  sponsar,  she  had  never  cessed  at  waking makers  among  the  jemassons  since  the  cluft  that  meataxe  delt her  made  her  microchasm  as  gap  as  down  low.  So  they  fished in  the  kettle  and  fought  free  and  if  she  bit  his  tailibout  all  hat tiffin  for  thea.  He  would  jused  sit  it  all  write  down  just  as  he would  jused  set  it  up  all  writhefully  rate  in  blotch  and  void, yielding  to  no  man  in  hymns  ignorance,  seeing  how  heartsilly sorey  he  was,  owning  to  the  condrition  of  his  bikestool.  And, reading  off  his  fleshskin  and  writing  with  his  quillbone,  fillfull ninequires  with  it  for  his  auditers,  Caxton  and  Pollock,  a  most moraculous  jeeremyhead  sindbook  for  all  the  peoples,  under  the presidency  of  the  suchess  of  sceaunonsceau,  a  hadtobe  heldin, thoroughly  enjoyed  by  many  so  meny  on  block  at  Boyrut  season and  for  their  account  ottorly  admired  by  her  husband  in  sole  in- timacy, about  whose  told  his  innersense  and  the  grusomehed's
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yoeureeke  of  his  spectrescope  and  why  he  was  off  colour  and  how he  was  ambodied  upon  by  the  very  spit  of  himself,  first  on  the cheekside  by  Michelangelo  and,  besouns  thats,  over  on  the  owld jowly  side  by  Bill  C.  Babby,  and  the  suburb's  formule  why  they provencials  drollo  eggspilled  him  out  of  his  homety  dometry  nar- rowedknee  domum  (osco  de  basco  de  pesco  de  bisco!)  because all  his  creature  comfort  was  an  omulette  finas  erbas  in  an  ark  finis orbe  and,  no  master  how  mustered,  mind  never  mend,  he  could neither  swuck  in  nonneither  swimp  in  the  flood  of  cecialism  and the  best  and  schortest  way  of  blacking  out  a  caughtalock  of  all the  sorrors  of  Sexton  until  he  would  accoster  her  coume  il  fou  in teto-dous  as  a  wagoner  would  his  mudheeldy  wheesindonk  at their  trist  in  Parisise  after  tourments  of  tosend  years,  bread  cast out  on  waters,  making  goods  at  mutuurity,  Mondamoiseau  of Casanuova  and  Mademoisselle  from  Armentieres.  Neblonovi's Nivonovio!  Nobbio  and  Nuby  in  ennoviacion!  Occitantitempoli ! He  would  si  through  severalls  of  sanctuaries  maywhatmay  might- whomight  so  as  to  meet  somewhere,  if  produced,  on  a  demi  pans- sion  for  his  whole  lofetime,  payment  in  goo  to  slee  music  and poisonal  comfany,  following  which,  like  Ipsey  Secumbe,  when  he fingon  to  foil  the  fluter,  she  could  have  all  the  g.  s.  M.  she  moo- hooed  after  fore  and  rickwards  to  herslF,  including  science  of sonorous  silence,  while  he,  being  brung  up  on  soul  butter,  have recourse  of  course  to  poetry.  With  tears  for  his  coronaichon, such  as  engines  weep.  Was  liffe  worth  leaving.'^  Nej !
Tholedoth,  treetrene!  Zokrahsing,  stone!  Arty,  reminiscen- sitive,  at  bandstand  finale  on  grand  carriero,  dreaming  largesse of  lifesighs  over  early  lived  offs — all  old  Sators  of  the  Sowsceptre highly  nutritius  family  histrionic,  genitricksling  with  Avus  and Avia,  that  simple  pair,  and  descendant  down  on  veloutypads  by  a vuncular  process  to  Nurus  and  Noverca,  those  notorious  nepotists, circumpictified  in  their  sobrine  census,  patriss  all  of  them  by  the glos  on  their  germane  faces  and  their  socerine  eyes  like  transparents of  vitricus,  patruuts  to  a  man,  the  archimade  levirs  of  his  ekonome world.  Remember  thee,  castle  throwen.'^  Ones  propsperups  treed, now  stohong  baroque.  And  oil  paint  use  a  pumme  if  yell  trace
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me  there  title  to  where  was  a  hovel  not  a  havel  (the  first  rattle  of his  juniverse)  with  a  tingtumtingling  and  a  next,  next  and  next (gin  a  paddy?  got  a  petty?  gussies,  gif  it  ope?),  while  itch  ish shome.
—  My  Gody  alas,  that  dear  olt  tumtum  home
Whereof  in  youthfood  port  I  preyed
Amook  the  verdigrassy  convict  vallsall  da\es.
And  cloitered  for  amourmeant  in  thy  hoosome  shede!
His  mouthfull  of  ecstasy  (for  Shing- Yung-Thing  in  Shina  from Yoruyume  across  the  Timor  Sea),  herepong  (malad venture!)  shot pinging  up  through  the  errorooth  of  his  wisdom  (who  thought him  a  Fonar  all,  feastking  of  shellies  by  googling  Lovvey,  regally freytherem,  eagelly  plumed,  and  wasbut  gumboil  owrithy  prods wretched  some  horsery  megee  plods  coffin  acid  odarkery  pluds dense  floppens  mugurdy)  as  thought  it  had  been  zawhen  intwo. Wholly  sanguish  blooded  up  disconvulsing  the  fixtures  of  his fizz.  Apang  which  his  tempory  chewer  med  him  a  crazy  chump of  a  Haveajube  Sillayass.  Joshua  Croesus,  son  of  Nunn!  Though he  shall  live  for  millions  of  years  a  life  of  billions  of  years,  from their  roseaced  glows  to  their  violast  lustres,  he  shall  not  forget that  pucking  Pugases.  Holihowlsballs  and  bloody  acres!  Like gnawthing  unheardth!
But,  by  Jove  Chronides,  Seed  of  Summ,  after  at  he  had  bate his  breastplates  for,  forforget,  forforgetting  his  birdsplace,  it  was soon  that,  that  he,  that  he  rehad  himself.  By  a  prayer?  No,  that comes  later.  By  contrite  attrition?  Nay,  that  we  passed.  Mid esercizism?  So  is  richt.
And  it  was  so.  And  Malthos  Moramor  resumed  his  soul.  With: Go  Ferchios  off  to  Allad  out  of  this!  An  oldsteinsong.  He  threwed his  fit  up  to  his  aers,  rolled  his  poligone  eyes,  snivelled  from  his snose  and  blew  the  guff  out  of  his  hornypipe.  The  hopjoimt  jerk of  a  ladle  broom  jig  that  he  learned  in  locofoco  when  a  redhot turnspite  he.  Under  reign  of  old  Roastin  the  Bowl  Ratskillers, readyos!  Why  was  that  man  for  he's  doin  her  wrong!  Lookery looks,  how  he's  knots  in  his  entrails!  Mookery  mooks,  it's  a grippe  of  his  gripes.  Seekeryseeks,  why  his  biting  he's  head  off?
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Cokerycokes,  it's  his  spurt  of  coal.  And  may  his  tarpitch  dilute not  give  him  chromitis !  For  the  mauwe  that  blinks  you  blank  is mostly  Carbo.  Where  the  inflammabilis  might  pursuive  his  com- burenda  with  a  pure  flame  and  a  true  flame  and  a  flame  all  too- gasser,  soot.  The  worst  is  over.  Wait!  And  the  dubuny  Mag  may gang  to  preesses.  With  Dinny  Finneen,  me  canty,  ho!  In  the  lost of  the  gleamens.  Sousymoust.  For  he  would  himself  deal  a  treat- ment as  might  be  trusted  in  anticipation  of  his  inculmination  unto fructification  for  the  major  operation.  When  (pip!)  a  message interfering  intermitting  interskips  from  them  (pet!)  on  herzian waves,  (call  her  venicey  names!  call  her  a  stell!)  a  butterfly  from her  zipclasped  handbag,  a  wounded  dove  astarted  from,  escaping out  her  forecotes.  Isle  wail  for  yews,  O  doherlynt!  The  poetesser. And  around  its  scorched  cap  she  has  twilled  a  twine  of  flame  to let  the  laitiest  know  she's  marrid.  And  pim  it  goes  backballed.  Tot burns  it  so  leste.  A  claribel  cumbeck  to  errind.  Hers  before  his even,  posted  ere  penned.  He's  your  change,  thinkyou  methim. Go  daft  noon,  madden,  mind  the  step.  Please  stoop  O  to  please. Stop.  What  saying.'^  I  have  soreunder  from  to  him  now,  dear- mate  ashore,  so,  so  compleasely  till  I  can  get  redressed,  which means  the  end  of  my  stays  in  the  languish  of  Tintangle.  Is  you zealous  of  mes,  brother.'^  Did  you  boo  moiety  lowd.^  You  sup- poted  to  be  the  on  conditiously  rejected.'^  Satanly,  lade!  Can  that sobstufl",  whingeywilly!  Stop  up,  mavrone,  and  sit  in  my  lap, Pepette,  though  I'd  much  rather  not.  Like  things  are  m.  ds.  is  all in  vincibles.  Decoded.
Now  a^run  for  his  money!  Now  a  dash  to  her  dot!  Old  cocker, young  crowy,  sifadda,  sosson.  A  bran  new,  speedhount,  out- stripperous  on  the  wind.  Like  a  waft  to  wingweary  one  or  a  sos to  a  coastguard.  For  directly  with  his  whoop,  stop  and  an  upa- lepsy  didando  a  tishy,  in  appreciable  less  time  than  it  takes  a glaciator  to  submerger  an  Atlangthis,  was  he  again,  agob,  before the  trembly  ones,  a  spark's  gap  ofl",  doubledasguesched,  gotten orlop  in  a  simplasailormade  and  shaking  the  storm  out  of  his hiccups.  The  smartest  vessel  you  could  find  would  elazilee  him on  her  knee  as  her  lucky  for  the  Rio  Grande.  He's  a  pigtail  tarr
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and  if  he  hadn't  got  it  toothick  he'd  a  telltale  tall  of  his  pitcher on  a  wall  with  his  photure  in  the  papers  for  cutting  moutonlegs and  capers,  letting  on  he'd  jest  be  japers  and  his  tail  cooked  up. Goal!  It's  one  by  its  length.
Angelinas,  hide  from  light  those  hues  that  your  sin  beau  may bring  to  light!  Though  down  to  your  dowerstrip  he's  bent  to knee  he  maun't  know  ledgings  here.
For  a  haunting  way  will  go  and  you  need  not  make  your  mow. Find  the  frenge  for  frocks  and  translace  it  into  shocks  of  such  as touch  with  show  and  show.
He  is  guessing  at  hers  for  all  he  is  worse,  the  seagoer.  Hark  to his  wily  geeses  goosling  by,  and  playfair,  lady !  And  note  that  they who  will  for  exile  say  can  for  dog  while  them  that  won't  leave ingle  end  says  now  for  know.
For  he  faulters  how  he  hates  to  trouble  them  without.
But  leaving  codhead's  mitre  and  the  heron's  plumes  sinistrant to  the  server  of  servants  and  rex  of  regums  and  making  a  bolder- dash  for  lubberty  of  speech  he  asks  not  have  you  seen  a  match being  struck  nor  is  this  powder  mine  but,  letting  punplays  pass to  ernest:
—  Haps  thee  jaoneofergs.'^
—  Nao.
—  Haps  thee  mayj aunties.'^
—  Naohao.
—  Haps  thee  per  causes  nunsibellies.'^
—  Naohaohao.
—  Asky,  asky,  asky!  Gau  on!  Micaco!  Get! Ping  an  ping  nwan  ping  pwan  pong.
And  he  did  a  get,  their  anayance,  and  slink  his  hook  away, aleguere  come  alaguerre,  like  a  chimista  inchamisas,  whom  the harricana  hurries  and  hots  foots,  zingo,  zango,  segur.  To  hoots of  utskut,  urqurd,  jamal,  qum,  yallah,  yawash,  yak!  For  he  could ciappacioppachew  upon  a  skarp  snakk  of  pure  undefallen  engelsk, melanmoon  or  tartatortoise,  tsukisaki  or  soppisuppon,  as  raskly and  as  baskly  as  your  cheesechalk  cow  cudd  spanich.  Makoto! Whagta  kriowday!  Gelagala  nausy  is.  Yet  right  divining  do  not
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was.  Hovobovo  hafogate  hokidimatzi  in  kamicha!  He  had  his sperrits  all  foulen  on  him;  to  vet,  most  griposly,  he  was  bedizzled and  debuzzled;  he  had  his  tristiest  cabaleer  on;  and  looked  like bruddy  Hal.  A  shelling  a  cockshy  and  be  donkey  shot  at.'*  Or  a peso  besant  to  join  the  armada.'^
But,  Sin  Showpanza,  could  anybroddy  which  walked  this  world with  eyes  whiteopen  have  looked  twinsorner  than  the  kerl  he  left behind  him.^  Candidatus,  viridosus,  aurilucens,  sinelab?  Of  all the  green  heroes  everwore  coton  breiches,  the  whitemost,  the goldenest!  How  he  stud  theirs  with  himselfs  mookst  kevinly,  and that  anterevolitionary,  the  churchman  childfather  from  tonsor's tuft  to  almonder's  toes,  a  haggiography  in  duotrigesumy,  son soptimost  of  sire  sixtusks,  of  Mayaqueenies  sign  osure,  hevnly buddhy  time,  inwreathed  of  his  near  cissies,  a  mickly  dazzly  eely oily  with  looiscurrals,  a  soulnetzer  by  zvesdals  priestessd,  their trail  the  tractive,  and  dem  dandypanies  knows  de  play  of  de  eye- lids, with  his  gamecox  spurts  and  his  smile  likequid  glue  (the suessiest  sourir  ever  weanling  wore),  whiles  his  host  of  spritties, lusspillerindernees,  they  went  peahenning  a  ripidarapidarpad around  him,  pilgrim  prinkips,  kerilour  kevinour,  in  neuchoristic congressulations,  quite  purringly  excited,  rpdrpd,  allauding  to him  by  all  the  licknames  in  the  litany  with  the  terms  in  which no  little  dulsy  nayer  ever  thinks  about  implying  except  to  her future's  year  and  sending  him  perfume  most  praypuffs  to  setis- fire  more  then  to  teasim  (shllwe  help,  now  youVe  massmuled, you  t'rigolect  a  bit.'^  yismik.'^  yimissy.'^)  that  he,  the  finehued,  the fairhailed,  the  farahead,  might  bouchesave  unto  each  but  every- one, asfar  as  safras  durst  assune,  the  havemercyonhurs  of  his kissier  licence.  Meanings:  Andure  the  enjurious  till  imbetther  rer. We  know  you  like  Latin  with  essies  impures,  (and  your  liber  as they  sea)  we  certney  like  gurgles  love  the  nargleygargley  so,  arrah- beejee,  tell  that  old  frankay  boyuk  to  bellows  upthe  tombucky  in his  tumtum  argan  and  give  us  a  gust  of  his  gushy  old.  Goof!
Hyrnnumber  twentynine.  O,  the  singing!  Happy  little  girly- cums  to  have  adolphted  such  an  Adelphus!  O,  the  swinginging hopops  so  goholden!  They've  come  to  chant  en  chor.  They  say
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I
their  salat,  the  madiens'  prayer  to  the  messiager  of  His  Nabis, prostitating  their  selfs  eachwise  and  combinedly.  Fateha,  fold  the hands.  Be  it  honoured,  bow  the  head.  May  thine  evings  e'en  be blossful!  Even  of  bliss!  As  we  so  hope  for  ablution.  For  the  sake of  the  farbung  and  of  the  scent  and  of  the  holiodrops.  Amems.
A  pause.  Their  orison  arises  misquewhite  as  Osman  glory,  ebb- ing wasteward,  leaves  to  the  soul  of  light  its  fading  silence  (allah- lah  lahlah  lah!),  a  turquewashed  sky.  Then:
—  Xanthos!  Xanthos!  Xanthos!  We  thank  to  thine,  mighty innocent,  that  diddest  bring  it  off  fuitefuite.  Should  in  ofter  years it  became  about  you  will  after  desk  jobduty  becoming  a  bank  mid- land mansioner  we  and  I  shall  reside  with  our  obeisant  servants among  Burke's  mobility  at  La  Roseraie,  Ailesbury  Road.  Red bricks  are  alUiellishly  good  values  if  you  trust  to  the  roster  of  ads but  we!Il„sayejup  qurselve  and  nab  what's  nicest  and  boskiest  of timber  trees  in  the  nebohood.  Oncaill's  plot.  Luccombe  oaks, Turkish  hazels,  Greek  firs,  incense  palm  edcedras.  The  hypso- meters  of  Mount  Anville  is  held  to  be  dying  out  of  arthataxis  but, praise  send  Larix  U'  Thule,  the  wych  elm  of  Manelagh  is  still flourishing  in  the  open,  because  its  native  of  our  nature  and  the seeds  was  sent  by  Fortune.  We'll  have  our  private  palypeachum pillarposterns  for  lovesick  letterines  fondly  affianxed  to  our  front railings  and  swings,  hammocks,  tighttaught  balletlines,  accomoda- tionnooks  and  prismic  bathboites,  to  make  Envyeyes  mouth water  and  wonder  when  they  binocular  us  from  their  embrassured windows  in  our  garden  rare.  Fyat-Fyat  shall  be  our  number on  the  autokinaton  and  Chubby  in  his  Chuffs  oursforownly chuffeur.  T  will  be  waiting  for  uns  as  I  sold  U  at  the  first  antries. Our  cousin  gourmand,  Percy,  the  pup,  will  denounce  the  sniff- nomers  of  all  callers  where  among  our  Seemyease  Sister,  Tabitha, the  ninelived,  will  extend  to  the  full  her  hearthy  welcome.  While the  turf  and  twigs  they  tattle.  Tintin  tintin.  Lady  Marmela  Short- bred  will  walk  in  for  supper  with  her  marchpane  switch  on,  her necklace  of  almonds  and  her  poirette  Sundae  dress  with  bracelets of  honey  and  her  cochineal  hose  with  the  caramel  dancings,  the briskly  best  from  Bootiestown,  and  her  suckingstaff  of  ivory-
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mint.  You  mustn't  miss  it  or  you'll  be  sorry.  Charmeuses  chloes, glycering  juwells,  lydialight  fans  and  puffumed  cynarettes.  And the  Prince  Le  Monade  has  been  graciously  pleased.  His  six  choco- late pages  will  run  bugling  before  him  and  Cococream  toddle after  with  his  sticksword  in  a  pink  cushion.  We  think  His  Spark- ling Headiness  ought  to  know  Lady  Marmela.  Luisome  his  for lissome  hers.  He's  not  going  to  Cork  till  Cantalamesse  or  may- hope  till  Rose  Easter  or  Saint  Tibbie's  Day.  So  Niomon  knows. The  Fomor's  in  his  Fin,  the  Momor's  her  and  hin.  A  paaralone ! A  paaralone!  And  Dublin's  all  adin.  We'll  sing  a  song  of  Single- month  and  you'll  too  and  you'll.  Here  are  notes.  There's  the  key. One  two  three.  Chours !  So  come  on,  ye  wealthy  gentrymen  wib- frufrocksfull  of  fun!  Thin  thin!  Thin  thin!  Thej  oily  and  thel ively,  thou  billy  with  thee  coo,  for  to  jog  a  jig  of  a  crispness  nice and  sing  a  missal  too.  Hip  champouree!  Hiphip  champouree!  O you  longtailed  blackman,  polk  it  up  behind  me !  Hip  champouree ! Hiphip  champouree!  And,  jessies,  push  the  pumkik  round.  Anne- liuia!
Since  the  days  of  Roamaloose  and  Rehmoose  the  pavanos  have been  strident  through  their  struts  of  Chapelldiseut,  the  vaulsies have  meed  and  youdled  through  the  purly  ooze  of  Ballybough, many  a  mismy  cloudy  has  tripped  taintily  along  that  hercourt strayed  reelway  and  the  rigadoons  have  held  ragtimed  revels  on the  platauplain  of  Grangegorman;  and,  though  since  then  ster- lings and  guineas  have  been  replaced  by  brooks  and  lions  and some  progress  has  been  made  on  stilts  and  the  races  have  come and  gone  and  Thyme,  that  chef  of  seasoners,  has  made  his  usual astewte  use  of  endadjustables  and  whatnot  willbe  isnor  was,  those danceadeils  and  cancanzanies  have  come  stimmering  down  for  our begayment  through  the  bedeafdom  of  po's  taeorns,  the  obcecity of  pa's  teapucs,  as  lithe  and  limbfree  limber  as  when  momie mummed  at  ma.
Just  so  stylled  with  the  nattes  are  their  flowerheads  now  and each  of  all  has  a  lovestalk  onto  herself  and  the  tot  of  all  the  tits  of their  understamens  is  as  open  as  he  can  posably  she  and  is  toume- soled  straightcut  or  sidewaist,  accourdant  to  the  coursets  of
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things  feminite,  towooerds  him  in  heliolatry,  so  they  may  catch- cup  in  their  calyzettes,  alls  they  go  troping,  those  parryshoots from  his  muscalone  pistil,  for  he  can  eyespy  through  them,  to their  selfcolours,  nevertheleast  their  tissue  peepers,  (meaning Mullabury  mesh,  the  time  of  appling  flowers,  a  guarded  figure of  speech,  a  variety  of  perfume,  a  bridawl,  seamist  inso  one)  as leichdy  as  see  saw  (O  my  goodmiss!  O  my  greatmess!  O  my prizelestly  preshoes!)  while,  dewyfully  as  dimb  dumbelles,  all alisten  to  his  elixir.  Lovelyt! And  they  said  to  him:
—  Enchainted,  dear  sweet  Stainusless,  young  confessor,  dearer  ;h dearest,  we  herehear,  aboutobloss,  O  coelicola,  thee  salutamt.  P Pattern  of  our  unschoold,  paggsBtmaster,  deE^^exer  of  softmis- sives,  round  the  world  in  fpriy^mails,  bag,  belt  and  balmybeam, our  barnaboy,  our  chepachap,  with  that  pampipe  in  your  put- away,  gab  borab,  when  you  will  be  after  doing  all  your  sight- seeing and  soundhearing  and  smellsniffing  and  tastytasting  and tenderumstouchings  in  all  Daneygaul,  send  us,  your  adorables, thou  overblaseed,  ajwise  and  letters  play  of  all  you  can  ceive, chief  celtech  chappy,  from  yom:,  holy  post  now  you  hast  as- certained ceremonially  our  names.  Unclean  you  art  not.  Outcaste thou  are  not.  Leperstower,  the  karman's  loki,  has  not  blanched at  our  goliutipn  and  your  intercourse  at  ninety  legsplits  does  not defile.  Untouchable  is  not  the  scarecrown  is  on  you.  You  are pure.  You  are  pure.  You  are  in  your  puerity.  You  have  not brought  stinking  members  into  the  house  of  Amanti.  Elleb  Inam, Titep  Notep,  we  name  them  to  the  Hall  of  Honour.  Your  head has  been  touched  by  the  god  Enel-Rah  and  your  face  has  been brightened  by  the  goddess  Aruc-Ituc.  Return,  sainted  youngling, and  walk  once  more  among  us !  The  rains  of  Demani  are  masikal as  of  yere.  And  Baraza  is  all  aflower.  Siker  of  calmy  days.  As shiver  as  shower  can  be.  Our  breed  and  better  class  is  in  brood and  bitter  pass.  Labbeycliath  longs.  But  we're  counting  on  the cluck.  The  Great  Cackler  comes  again.  Sweetstaker,  Abel  lord  of all  our  haloease,  we  (to  be  slightly  more  femmiliar  perhips  than  is slickly  more  then  nacessory),  toutes  philomelas  as  well  as  mag-
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delenes,  were  drawpairs  with  two  pinmarks,  BVD  and  BVD  dot, so  want  lotteries  of  ticklets  posthastem  (you  appreciate?)  so  as  to be  very  dainty,  if  an  isaspell,  and  so  as  to  be  verily  dandydainty, if  an  ishibilley,  of  and  on,  to  and  for,  by  and  with,  from  you. Let  the  hitback  hurry  his  wayward  ere  the  missive  has  time  to take  herself  off,  'twill  be  o'erthemore  willfully  intomeet  if  the coming  offence  can  send  our  shudders  before.  We  feem  to  have being  elfewhere  as  tho'  th*  had  pafs'd  in  our  fufpens.  Next to  our  shrinking  selves  we  love  sensitivas  best.  For  they  are the  Angles.  Brick,  fauve,  jonquil,  sprig,  fleet,  nocturne,  smiling bruise.  For  they  are  an  Angele's  garment.  We  will  be  constant (what  a  word!)  and  bless  the  day,  for  whole  hours  too,  yes,  for sold  long  syne  as  we  shall  be  being  in  our  created  being  of  ours elvishness,  the  day  you  befell,  you  dreadful  temptation!  Now promisus  as  at  our  requisted  you  will  remain  ignorant  of  all  what you  hear  and,  though  if  whilst  disrobing  to  the  edge  of  risk,  (the bisifings  in  idolhours  that  satinfines  tootoo !)  draw  a  veil  till  we next  time!  You  don't  want  to  peach  but  bejimboed  if  ye  do! Perhelps.  We  ernst  too  may.  How  many  months  or  how  many years  till  the  myriadth  and  first  become!  Bashfulness  be  tupped! May  he  colp,  may  he  colp  her,  may  he  mixandmass  colp  her! Talk  with  a  hare  and  you  wake  of  a  tartars.  That's  mus.  Says  the Law.  List!  Kicky  Lacey,  the  pervergined,  and  Bianca  Mutantini, her  conversa,  drew  their  fools  longth  finnishfurst,  Herzog  van Vellentam,  but  me  and  meother  ravin,  my  coosine  of  mine,  have mour  good  three  chancers,  weothers,  after  Bohnaparts.  The mything  smile  of  me,  my  wholesole  assumption,  shes  nowt  me- without  as  weam  twin  herewithin,  that  I  love  like  myselfish,  like smithereens  robinsongs,  like  juneses  nutslost,  like  the  blue  of  the sky  if  I  stoop  for  to  spy's  between  my  whiteyoumightcallimbs. How  their  duel  makes  their  triel!  Eer's  wax  for  Sur  Soord,  dong- dong  bollets  for  the  iris  riflers,  queemswellth  of  coocome  in  their combs  for  the  jennyjos.  Caro  caressimus!  Honey  swarns  where mellisponds.  Will  bee  all  buzzy  one  another  minnies  for  the  mere effect  that  you  are  so  fuld  of  pollen  yourself.  Teomeo!  Daurdour! We  feel  unspeechably  thoughtless  over  it  all  here  in  Gizzygazelle
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Tark's  bimboowood  so  pleasekindly  communicake  with  the original  sinse  we  are  only  yearning  as  yet  how  to  burgeon.  It's meant  milliems  of  centiments  deadlost  or  mislaid  on  them  but, master  of  snakes,  we  can  sloughchange  in  the  nip  of  a  napple solongas  we  can  allsee  for  deedsetton  your  quick.  By  the  hook in  your  look  we're  eyed  for  aye  were  you  begging  the  questuan with  your  lutean  bowl  round  Monkmesserag.  And  whenever you're  tingling  in  your  trout  we're  sure  to  be  tangled  in  our  tice- ments.  It's  game,  ma  chere,  be  off  with  your  shepherdress  on!  Up- some  Cauda !  Behose  our  handmades  for  the  lured !  To  these  nunce we  are  but  yours  in  ammatures  yet  well  come  that  day  we  shall  ope to  be  ores.  Then  shalt  thou  see,  seeing,  the  sight.  No  more  hoax- ites!  Nay  more  gifting  in  mennage!  A  her's  fancy  for  a  his  friend and  then  that  fellow  yours  after  this  follow  ours.  Vania,  Vania Vaniorum,  Domne  Vanias!
Hightime  is  ups  be  it  down  into  outs  according!  When  there shall  be  foods  for  vermin  as  full  as  feeds  for  the  fett,  eat  on  earth as  there's  hot  in  oven.  When  every  Klitty  of  a  scolderymeid  shall hold  every  yardscullion's  right  to  stimm  her  uprecht  for  whimso- ever,  whether  on  privates,  whather  in  publics.  And  when  all  us romance  catholeens  shall  have  ones  for  all  amanseprated.  And  the world  is  maidfree.  Methanks.  So  much  for  His  Meignysthy  man! And  all  his  bigyttens.  So  till  Coquette  to  tell  Cockotte  to  teach Connie  Curley  to  touch  Cattie  Hayre  and  tip  Carminia  to  tap  La Cherie  though  where  the  diggings  he  dwellst  amongst  us  here's nobody  knows  save  Mary.  Whyfor  we  go  ringing  hands  in  hands in  gyrogyrorondo.
These  bright  elects,  consentconsorted,  they  were  waltzing  up their  willside  with  their  princesome  handsome  angeline  chiuff  h  ( while  in  those  wherebus  there  wont  bears  way  (mearing  un-  5^ known,  a  place  where  pigeons  carry  fire  to  seethe  viands,  a  miry hill,  beige  end  sore  footh)  oaths  and  screams  and  bawley  groans with  a  belchybubhub  and  a  hellabelow  bedemmed  and  bediabbled the  arimaining  lucisphere.  Helldsdend,  whelldselse!  Lonedom's breach  lay  foulend  up  uncouth  not  be  broched  by  punns  and reedles.  Yet  the  ring  gayed  rund  rorosily  with  a  drat  for  a  brat
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you.  Yasha  Yash  ate  sassage  and  mash.  So  he  found  he  bash,  poor Yasha  Yash.  And  you  wonna  make  one  of  our  micknick  party. No  honaryhuest  on  our  sposhialiste.  For  poor  Glugger  was  dazed and  late  in  his  crave,  ay  he,  laid  in  his  grave.
But  low,  boys  low,  he  rises,  shrivering,  with  his  spittyful  eyes and  his  whoozebecome  woice.  Ephthah!  Cisamis!  Examen  of conscience  scruples  now  he  to  the  best  of  his  memory  schemado. Nu  mere  for  ever  siden  on  the  stolen.  With  his  tumescinquinance in  the  thight  of  his  tumstuU.  No  more  singing  all  the  dags  in his  sengaggeng.  Experssly  at  hand  counterhand.  Trinitatis  kink had  mudded  his  dome,  peccat  and  pent  fore,  pree.  Hymserf, munchaowl,  maden,  born  of  thug  tribe  into  brood  blackmail,  dooly redecant  allbigenesis  henesies.  He,  by  bletchendmacht  of  the  golls, proforhim  penance  and  come  off  entematural.  He,  selfsufficiencer, eggscumuddher- in -chaff  sporticolorissimo,  what  though  the duthsthrows  in  his  lavabad  eyes,  maketomake  polentay  rossum, (Good  savours  queen  with  the  stem  of  swuith  Aftreck!  Fit  for king  of  Zundas)  out  of  bianconies,  hiking  ahake  like  any  nudge- meroughgorude  all  over  Terracuta.  No  more  throw  acids,  face  all lovabilities,  appeal  for  the  union  and  play  for  tirnitys.  He,  praise Saint  Calembaurnus,  make  clean  breastsack  of  goody  girl  now  as ever  drank  milksoep  from  a  spoen,  weedhearted  boy  of  potter  and mudder,  chip  of  old  Flinn  the  Flinter,  twig  of  the  hider  that  tanned him.  He  go  calaboosh  all  same  he  tell  him  out.  Teufleuf  man  he strip  him  all  mussymussy  calico  blong  him  all  same  he  tell  him  all out  how  he  make  what  name.  He,  through  wolkenic  connection, relation  belong  this  remarklable  moliman,  Anaks  Andrum,  parley- glutton  pure  blood  Jebusite,  centy  procent  Erserum  spoking. Drugmallt  storehuse.  Intrance  on  back.  Most  open  on  the  lay- days. He,  A.  A.,  in  peachskin  shantungs,  possible,  sooth  to  say, notwithstanding  far  former  guiles  and  he  gaining  fish  consider- able, by  saving  grace  after  avalunch,  to  look  most  prophitable out  of  smily  skibluh  eye.  He  repeat  of  him  as  pious  alios  cos  he ast  for  shave  and  haircut  people  said  he'd  shape  of  hegoat  where he  just  was  sheep  of  herrgott  with  his  tile  togged.  Top.  Not  true what  chronicles  is  bringing  his  portemanteau  priamed  full  potato-
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wards.  Big  dumm  crumm  digaditchies  say  short  again  akter,  even while  lossassinated  by  summan,  he  coaxyorum  a  pennysilvers ofFarings  bloadonages  widi  candid  zuckers  on  Spinshesses  Walk in  presents  to  lilithe  maidinettes  for  at  bloo  his  noose  for  him with  pruriest  pollygameous  inatentions,  he  having  that  pecuni- arity  ailmint  spectacularly  in  heather  cliff  emurgency  on  gale days  because  souffrant  chronic  from  a  plentitude  of  house  torts. Collosul  rhodomantic  not  wert  one  bronze  lie  Scholarina  say  as he,  greyed  vike  cuddlepuUer,  walk  in  her  sleep  his  pig  indicks weg  femtyfem  funts.  Of  so  little  is  her  timentrousnest  great  for greeting  his  immensesness.  Sutt  soonas  sett  they  were,  her  uyes as  his  auroholes.  Kaledvalch!  How  could  one  classically.'^  One could  naught  critically.  Ininest  lightingshaft  only  for  lovalit smugpipe,  his  Mistress  Mereshame,  of  cupric  tresses,  the  form-  v^^ white  foaminine,  the  ambersandalled,  after  Aasdocktor  Talop's onamuttony  legture.  A  mish,  holy  balm  of  seinsed  myrries,  he  is as  good  as  a  mountain  and  everybody  what  is  found  of  his  gients  ^  h
he  knew  Meistral  Wikingson,  furframed  Noordwogen's  kampf-  '  '  ^  ' ten,  with  complexion  of  blushing  dolomite  fanned  by  ozeone brisees,  what  naver  saw  his  bedshead  farrer  and  nuver  met  his swigamore,  have  his  ignomen  from  prima  signation  of  being Master  Milchku,  queerest  man  in  the  benighted  queendom,  and, adcraft  aidant,  how  he  found  the  kids.  Other  accuse  him  as lochkneeghed  forsunkener,  dope  in  stockknob,  all  ameltingmoult after  rhomatism,  purely  simply  tammy  ratkins.  The  kurds  of Copt  on  the  berberutters  and  their  bedaweens!  Even  was  Shes whole  begeds  off  before  all  his  nahars  in  the  koldbethizzdryel.  No gudth!  Not  one  zouz!  They  whiteliveried  ragsups,  two  Whales  of the  Sea  of  Deceit,  they  bloodiblabstard  shooters,  three  Drome- daries of  the  Sands  of  Calumdonia.  As  is  note  worthies  to  shock his  hind!  Ur  greeft  on  them!  Such  askors  and  their  ruperts  they are  putting  in  for  more  osghirs  is  alse  false  liarnels.  The  frocken- halted  victims!  Whore  affirm  is  agains  sempry  Lotta  Karssens. They  would  lick  their  lenses  before  they  would  negatise  a  jom  '>^J  ^ petter  from  his  sodalites.  In  his  contrary  and  on  reality,  which Bichop  Babwith  bares  to  his  whitness  in  his  Just  a  Ficadon  of
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Villumses^  this  Mr  Heer  Assassor  Neelson,  of  sorestate  hearing, diseased,  formarly  with  Adenoiks,  den  feed  all  lighty,  laxtleap great  change  of  retiring  family  buckler,  highly  accurect  in  his everythinks,  from  tencents  coupoU  to  bargain  basement,  live  with howthold  of  nummer  seven,  wideawake,  woundabout,  wokin- betts,  weeklings,  in  black  velvet  on  geolgian  mission  senest  mangy years  his  rear  in  the  lane  pictures,  blanking  same  with  autonaut and  annexes  and  got  a  daarlingt  babyboy  bucktooth,  the  thick  of a  gobstick,  coming  on  ever  so  nerses  nursely,  gracies  to  goodess, at  8i.i/That  why  all  parks  up  excited  about  his  gunnfodder.  That why  ecrazyaztecs  and  the  crime  ministers  preaching  him  morn- ings and  makes  a  power  of  spoon  vittles  out  of  his  praverbs.  That why  he,  persona  erecta,  glycorawman  arsenicful  femorniser,  for a  trial  by  julias,  in  celestial  sunhat,  with  two  purses  agitatating his  theopot  with  wokklebout  shake,  rather  incoherend,  from  one 1 8  to  one  i8  biss,  young  shy  gay  youngs.  Sympoly  far  infusing up  pritty  tipidities  to  lock  up  their  rhainodaisies  and  be  nice and  twainty  in  the  shade.  Old  grand  tuttut  toucher  up  of  young poetographies  and  he  turn  aroundabrupth  red  altfrumpishly  like hear  samhar  tionnor  falls  some  make  one  noise.  It's  his  last  lap, Gigantic,  fare  him  weal!  Revelation!  A  fact.  True  bill.  By  a  jury of  matrons.  Hump  for  humbleness,  dump  for  dirts.  And,  to  make a  long  stoney  badder  and  a  whorly  show  a  parfect  sight,  his  Thing went  the  wholyway  retup  Suffrogate  Strate.
Helpmeat  too,  contrasta  toga,  his  fiery  goosemother,  laotsey taotsey,  woman  who  did,  he  tell  princes  of  the  age  about.  You sound  on  me,  judges!  Suppose  we  brisken  up.  Kings!  Meet  the Mem,  Avenlith,  all  viviparous  out  of  couple  of  lizards.  She  just  as fenny  as  he  is  fulgar.  How  laat  soever  her  latest  still  her  sawlogs come  up  all  standing.  Psing  a  psalm  of  psexpeans,  apocryphul  of rhyme!  His  cheekmole  of  allaph  foriverever  her  allinall  and  his Kuran  never  teachit  her  the  be  the  owner  of  thyself.  So  she  not swop  her  eckcot  hjem  for  Howarden's  Castle,  Englandwales.  But be  the  alleance  of  iern  on  his  flamen  vestacoat,  the  fibule  of  brooch- bronze  to  his  wintermantle  of  pointefox.  Who  not  knows  she,  the Madame  Cooley-Couley,  spawife  to  laird  of  manna,  when  first
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I
come  into  the  pictures  more  as  hundreads  elskerelks'  yahrds  of annams  call  away,  factory  fresh  and  fiuming  at  the  mouth,  wronged by  Hwemwednoget  (magrathmagreeth,  he  takable  a  rap  for  that early  party)  and  whenceforward  Ani  Mama  and  her  fiertey bustles  terrified  of  gmere  gnomes  of  gmountains  and  furibound to  be  back  in  her  mytinbeddy?  Schi  schi,  she  feightened  allsouls at  pignpugn  and  gets  a  pan  in  her  stummi  from  the  pialabellars in  their  pur  war.  Yet  jackticktating  all  around  her  about  his  poor- liness  due  to  pannellism  and  grime  for  that  he  harboured  her  when feme  sole,  her  zoravarn  Ihorde  and  givnergenral,  and  led  her  in antient  consort  ruhm  and  bound  her  durant  coverture  so  as  she could  not  steal  from  him,  oz  her  or  damman,  so  as  if  ever  she's beleaved  by  checkenbrooth  death  since  both  was  parties  to  the feed  it's  Hetman  MacCumhal  foots  the  funeral.  Mealwhile  she nutre  him  jacent  from  her  elmer's  almsdish,  giantar  and  tschaina as  sieme  as  bibrondas  with  Foli  Signur's  tinner  roumanschy  to fishle  the  ladwigs  out  of  his  lugwags,  like  a  skittering  kitty skattering  hayels,  when  his  favourites  were  all  beruffled  on  him and  her  own  undesirables  justickulating,  it  was  such  a  blowick day.  Winden  wanden  wild  like  wenchen  wenden  wanton.  The why  if  he  but  would  bite  and  plug  his  baccypipes  and  renownse the  devlins  in  all  their  pumbs  and  kip  the  streelwarkers  out  of the  plague  and  nettleses  milk  from  sickling  the  honeycoombe and  kop  Ulo  Bubo  selling  foulty  treepes,  she  would  make  massa dinars  with  her  savuneer  dealinsh  and  delicate  her  nutbrown glory  cloack  to  Mayde  Berenice  and  hang  herself  in  Ostmanns- town  Saint  Megan's  and  make  no  more  mulierage  before  ma- hatmas  or  moslemans,  but  would  ondulate  her  shookerloft  hat from  Alpoleary  with  a  viv  baselgia  and  a  clamast  apotria  like  any purple  cardinal's  princess  or  woman  of  the  grave  word  to  the papal  legate  from  the  Vatucum,  Monsaigneur  Rabbinsohn  Crucis, with  an  ass  of  milg  to  his  cowmate  and  chilterlings  on  account of  all  he  quaqueduxed  for  the  hnor  of  Hrom  and  the  nations abhord  him  and  wop  mezzo  scudo  to  Sant  Pursy  Orelli  that  gave Luiz-Marios  Josephs  their  loyal  devouces  to  be  offered  up  missas for  vowts  for  widders.
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Hear,  O  worldwithout!  Tiny  tattling!  Backwoods,  be  wary! Daintytrees,  go  dutch!
But  who  comes  yond  with  pire  on  poletop?  He  who  relights our  spearing  torch,  the  moon.  Bring  lolave  branches  to  mud cabins  and  peace  to  the  tents  of  Ceder,  Neomenie !  The  feast  of Tubboumigglers  is  at  hand.  Shopshup.  Inisfail!  Timple  temple tells  the  bells.  In  syngagyng  a  sangasongue.  For  all  in  Ondslos- by.  And,  the  hag  they  damename  Coverfew  hists  from  her  lane. And  haste,  'tis  time  for  bairns  ta  hame.  Chickchilds,  comeho  to roo.  Comehome  to  roo,  wee  chickchilds  doo,  when  the  wild- worewolf 's  abroad.  Ah,  let's  away  and  let's  gay  and  let's  stay chez  where  the  log  foyer's  burning!  Xv)V3>f  jt>ur\^-^
It  darkles,  (tinct,  tint)  all  this  our  funnaminal  world.  Yon marshpond  by  ruodmark  verge  is  visited  by  the  tide.  Alvem- marea!  We  are  circumveiloped  by  obscuritads.  Man  and  belves frieren.  There  is  a  wish  on  them  to  be  not  doing  or  anything.  Or just  for  rugs.  Zoo  koud!  Drr,  deff,  coal  lay  on  and,  pzz,  call  us pyrress !  Ha.  Where  is  our  highly  honourworthy  salutable  spouse- founderess?  The  foolish  one  of  the  family  is  within.  Haha!  Huzoor, where's  he.'^  At  house,  to's  pitty.  With  Nancy  Hands.  Tcheetchee! Hound  through  the  maize  has  fled.  What  hou!  Isegrim  under lolling  ears.  Far  wol!  And  wheaten  bells  bide  breathless.  All.  The trail  of  Gill  not  yet  is  to  be  seen,  rocksdrops,  up  benn,  down dell,  a  craggy  road  for  rambling.  Nor  yet  through  starland  that silver  sash.  What  era's  o'ering.'^  Lang  gong  late.  Say  long,  scielo ! Sillume,  see  lo!  Selene,  sail  01  Amune!  Ark!.^  Noh.^^!  Nought stirs  in  spinney.  The  swayful  pathways  of  the  dragonfly  spider stay  still  in  reedery.  Quiet  takes  back  her  folded  fields.  Tranquille thanks.  Adew.  In  deerhaven,  imbraced,  alleged,  injoynted  and unlatched,  the  birds,  tommelise  too,  quail  silent,  ii.  Luathan.'* Nuathan!  Was  avond  ere  a  while.  Now  conticinium.  As  Lord the  Laohun  is  sheutseuyes.  The  time  of  lying  together  will  come and  the  wildering  of  the  nicht  till  cockeedoodle  aubens  Aurore. Panther  monster.  Send  leabarrow  loads  amorrow.  While  loevdom shleeps.  Elenfant  has  siang  his  triump.  Great  is  Eliphas  Magis- trodontos  and  after  kneeprayer  pious  for  behemuth  and  mahamoth
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will  rest  him  from  tusker  toils.  Salamsalaim!  Rhinohorn  isnoutso pigfellow  but  him  ist  gonz  wurst.  Kikikuki.  Hopopodorme.  So- beast!  No  chare  of  beagles,  frantling  of  peacocks,  no  muzzing  of the  camel,  smuttering  of  apes.  Lights,  pageboy,  lights!  Brights we'll  be  brights.  With  help  of  Hanoukan's  lamp.  When  otter leaps  in  outer  parts  then  Yul  remembers  Mei.  Her  hung  maid mohns  are  bluming,  look,  to  greet  those  loes  on  coast  of  amethyst; arcglow's  seafire  Siemens  lure  and  wextward  warnerforth's  hooker- crookers.  And  now  with  robby  brerfox's  fishy  fable  lissaned  out, the  threads  simwhat  toran  and  knots  in  its  antargumends,  the pesciolines  in  LifFeyetta's  bowl  have  stopped  squiggling  about Junoh  and  the  whalk  and  feriaquintaism  and  pebble  infinibility and  the  poissission  of  the  hoghly  course.  And  if  Lubbernabohore laid  his  horker  to  the  ribber,  save  the  giregargoh  and  dabardin going  on  in  his  mount  of  knowledge  (munt),  he  would  not  hear a  flip  flap  in  all  Finnyland.  Witchman,  watch  of  your  night.^  Es voes,  ez  noes,  nott  voes,  ges,  noun.  It  goes.  It  does  not  go.  Dark- park's  acoo  with  sucking  loves.  Rosimund's  by  her  wishing  well. Soon  tempt-in-twos  will  stroll  at  venture  and  hunt-by-threes  strut musketeering.  Brace  of  girdles,  brasse  of  beauys.  With  the  width of  the  way  for  jogjoy.  Hulker's  cieclest  elbownunsense.  Hold hard!  And  his  dithering  dathering  waltzers  of.  Stright!  But  meet- ings mate  not  as  forsehn.  Hesperons!  And  if  you  wand  to  Liv- mouth,  wenderer,  while  Jempson's  weed  decks  Jacqueson's  Island, here  lurks,  bar  hellpelhullpulthebell,  none  iron  welcome.  Bing. Bong.  Bangbong.  Thunderation !  You  took  with  the  mulligrubs and  we  lack  mulsum.'^  No  sirrebob!  Great  goodness,  no!  Were you  Marely  quean  of  Scuts  or  but  Chrestien  the  Last,  (our  duty to  you,  chris!  royalty,  squat!)  how  matt  your  mark,  though luked  your  johl,  here's  dapplebellied  mugs  and  troublebedded rooms  and  sawdust  strown  in  expectoration  and  for  ratification  by specification  of  your  information,  Mr  Knight,  tuntapster,  buttles; his  alefru's  up  to  his  hip.  And  Watsy  Lyke  sees  after  all  rinsings and  don't  omiss  Kate,  homeswab  homely,  put  in  with  the  bricks. A's  the  sign  and  one's  the  number.  Where  Chavvyout  Chacer calls  the  cup  and  Pouropourim  stands  astirrup.  De  oud  huis  bij
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de  kerkegaard.  So  who  over  comes  ever  for  Whoopee  Weeks must  put  up  with  the  Jug  and  Chambers.
But  heed!  Our  thirty  minutes  war's  alull.  All's  quiet  on  the felled  of  Gorey.  Between  the  starfort  and  the  thornwood  brass castle  flambs  with  mutton  candles.  Hushkah,  a  horn!  Gadolmag- tog!  God  es  El.^  Housefather  calls  enthreateningly.  From  Bran- denborgenthor.  At  Asa's  arthre.  In  thundercloud  periwig.  With lightning  bug  aflash  from  afinger.  My  souls  and  by  jings,  should he  work  his  jaw  to  give  down  the  banks  and  hark  from  the  tomb ! Ansighosa  pokes  in  her  potstill  to  souse  at  the  sop  be  sodden enow  and  to  hear  to  all  the  bubbles  besaying:  the  coming  man,  the future  woman,  the  food  that  is  to  build,  what  he  with  fifteen  years will  do,  the  ring  in  her  mouth  of  joyous  guard,  stars  astir  and stirabout.  A  palashe  for  hirs,  a  saucy  for  hers  and  ladlelike  spoons for  the  wonner.  But  ein  and  twee  were  never  worth  three.  So  they must  have  their  final  since  he's  on  parole.  Et  la  pau'  Leonie  has  the choice  of  her  lives  between  Josephinus  and  Mario-Louis  for  who is  to  wear  the  lily  of  Bohemey,  Florestan,  Thaddeus,  Hardress  or Myles.  And  lead  raptivity  captive.  Ready!  Like  a  Finn  at  a  fair. Now  for  la  belle !  Icy-la-Belle !
The  campus  calls  them.  Ninan  ninan,  the  gattling  gan!  Childs will  be  wilds.  'Twastold.  And  vamp,  vamp,  vamp,  the  girls  are merchand.  The  horseshow  magnete  draws  his  field  and  don't  the fillyings  fly.'^  Educande  of  Sorrento,  they  newknow  knowwell their  Vico's  road.  Arranked  in  their  array  and  flocking  for  the fray  on  that  old  orangeray,  Dolly  Brae.  For  these  are  not  on terms,  they  twain,  bartrossers,  since  their  baffle  of  Whatalose when  Adam  Leftus  and  the  devil  took  our  hindmost,  gegifting her  with  his  painapple,  nor  will  not  be  atoned  at  all  in  fight  to no  finish,  that  dark  deed  doer,  this  wellwilled  wooer,  Jerkoff  and Eatsoup,  Yem  or  Yan,  while  felixed  is  who  culpas  does  and  harm's worth  healing  and  Brune  is  bad  French  for  Jour  d'Anno.  Tiggers and  Tuggers  they're  all  for  tenzones.  Bettlimbraves.  For  she  must walk  out.  And  it  must  be  with  who.  Teaseforhim.  Toesforhim. Tossforhim.  Two.  Else  there  is  danger  of.  Solitude.
Postreintroducing  Jeremy,  the  chastenot  coulter,  the  flowing
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taal  that  brooks  no  brooking  runs  on  to  say  how,  as  it  was mutualiter  foretold  of  him  by  a  timekiller  to  his  spacemaker,  velos ambos  and  arubyat  knychts,  with  their  tales  within  wheels  and stucks  between  spokes,  on  the  hike  from  Elmstree  to  Stene  and back,  how,  running  awage  with  the  use  of  reason  (sics)  and ramming  amok  at  the  brake  of  his  voice  (sees),  his  lasterhalft was  set  for  getting  the  besterwhole  of  his  yougendtougend,  for control  number  thrice  was  operating  the  subliminal  of  his  invaded personality.  He  nobit  smorfi  and  go  poltri  and  let  all  the  tondo gang  bola  del  ruffo.  Barto  no  know  him  mor.  Eat  larto  altruis with  most  perfect  stranger.
Boo,  you're  through!
Hoo,  Fm  true!
Men,  teacan  a  tea  simmering,  hamo  mavrone  kerry  O.'^ Teapotty.  Teapotty.
Kod  knows.  Anything  ruind.  Meetingless.
He  wept  indeiterum.  With  such  a  tooth  he  seemed  to  love  his wee  tart  when  abuy.  Highly  momourning  he  see  the  before  him. Melained  from  nape  to  kneecap  though  vied  from  her  girders  up. Holy  Santalto,  cursing  saint,  sight  most  deletious  to  ross  up  the spyballs  like  exude  of  margary!  And  how  him  it  heaviered  that eyerim  rust!  An  they  bare  falls  witless  against  thee  how  slight becomes  a  hidden  wound?  Soldwoter  he  wash  him  all  time  big- feller  bruisy  place  blong  him.  He  no  want  missies  blong  all  boy other  look  bruisy  place  blong  him.  Hence.  It  will  paineth  the chastenot  in  that  where  of  his  whence  he  had  loseth  his  once  for every,  even  though  mode  grow  moramor  maenneritsch  and  the Tarara  boom  decay.  Immaculacy,  give  but  to  drink  to  his  shirt and  all  skirtaskortas  must  change  her  tunics.  So  warred  he  from first  to  last,  forebanned  and  betweenly,  a  smuggler  for  lifer.  Lift the  blank  ve  veered  as  heil!  Split  the  hvide  and  aye  seize  heaven! He  knows  for  he's  seen  it  in  black  and  white  through  his  eye- trompit  trained  upon  jenny's  and  all  that  sort  of  thing  which  is dandymount  to  a  clearobscure.  Prettimaid  tints  may  try  their taunts:  apple,  bacchante,  custard,  dove,  eskimo,  feldgrau,  hema- tite, isingglass,  jet,  kipper,  lucile,  mimosa,  nut,  oysterette,  prune,
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quasimodo,  royal,  sago,  tango,  umber,  vanilla,  wisteria,  xray, yesplease,  zaza,  philomel,  theerose.  What  are  they  all  by?  Shee.
If  you  nude  her  in  her  prime,  make  sure  you  find  her  comple- mentary or,  on  your  very  first  occasion,  by  Angus  Dagdasson and  all  his  piccions,  she'll  prick  you  where  you're  proudest  with her  unsatt  speagle  eye.  Look  sharp,  she's  signalling  from  among the  asters.  Turn  again,  wistfultone,  lode  mere  of  Doubtlynn! Arise,  Land-under- Wave !  Clap  your  lingua  to  your  pallet,  drop your  jowl  with  a  jolt,  tambourine  until  your  breath  slides,  pet  a pout  and  it's  out.  Have  you  got  me,  Allysloper?
My  top  it  was  brought  Achill's  low,  my  middle  I  ope  before you,  my  bottom's  a  vulser  if  ever  there  valsed  and  my  whole  the flower  that  stars  the  day  and  is  solly  well  worth  your  pilger's fahrt.  Where  there's  a  hitch,  a  head  of  things,  let  henker's  halter hang  the  halunkenend.  For  I  see  through  your  weapon.  That cry's  not  Cucullus.  And  his  eyelids  are  painted.  If  my  tutor  here is  cut  out  for  an  oldeborre  I'm  Flo,  shy  of  peeps,  you  know.  But when  he  beetles  backwards,  ain't  I  fly.'*  Pull  the  boughpee  to  see how  we  sleep.  Bee  Peep!  Peepette!  Would  you  like  that  lump  of a  tongue  for  lungeon  or  this  Turkey's  delighter,  hys  hyphen mys.'*  My  bellyswain's  a  twalf  whulerusspower  though  he  knows as  much  how  to  man  a  wife  as  Dunckle  Dalton  of  matching  wools. Shake  hands  through  the  thicketloch!  Sweet  swanwater!  My other  is  mouthfilled.  This  kissing  wold's  full  of  killing  fellows kneeling  voyantly  to  the  cope  of  heaven.  And  somebody's  com- ing, I  feel  for  a  feet.  I've  a  seeklet  to  sell  thee  if  old  Deanns  won't be  threaspanning.  When  you'll  next  have  the  mind  to  retire  to be  wicked  this  is  as  dainty  a  way  as  any.  Underwoods  spells  bush- ment's  business.  So  if  you  sprig  poplar  you're  bound  to  twig  this. 'Twas  my  lord  of  Glendalough  benedixed  the  gape  for  me  that time  at  Long  Entry,  commanding  the  approaches  to  my  intimast innermost.  Look  how  they're  browthered !  Six  thirteens  at  Blanche de  Blanche's  of  3  Behind  Street  and  2  Turnagain  Lane.  Awabeg is  my  callby,  Magnus  here's  my  Max,  Wonder  One's  my  cipher and  Seven  Sisters  is  my  nighbrood.  Radouga,  Rab  will  ye  na pick  them  in  their  pink  of  panties.  You  can  colour  up  till  you're
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prawn  while  I  go  squirt  with  any  cockle.  When  here  who  adolls me  infuxes  sleep.  But  if  this  could  see  with  its  backsight  he*d be  the  grand  old  greeneyed  lobster.  He's  my  first  viewmarc  since Valentine.  Wink's  the  winning  word. Luck!
In  the  house  of  breathings  lies  that  word,  all  fairness.  The  walls are  of  rubinen  and  the  glittergates  of  elfinbone.  The  roof  herof  is of  massicious  jasper  and  a  canopy  of  Tyrian  awning  rises  and still  descends  to  it.  A  grape  cluster  of  lights  hangs  therebeneath and  all  the  house  is  filled  with  the  breathings  of  her  fairness,  the fairness  of  fondance  and  the  fairness  of  milk  and  rhubarb  and  the fairness  of  roasted  meats  and  uniomargrits  and  the  fairness  of promise  with  consonantia  and  avowals.  There  lies  her  word,  you reder !  The  height  herup  exalts  it  and  the  lowness  her  down  aba- seth  it.  It  vibroverberates  upon  the  tegmen  and  prosplodes  from pomoeria.  A  window,  a  hedge,  a  prong,  a  hand,  an  eye,  a  sign,  a head  and  keep  your  other  augur  on  her  paypaypay.  And  you  have it,  old  Sem,  pat  as  ah  be  seated!  And  Sunny,  my  gander,  he's coming  to  land  her.  The  boy  which  she  now  adores.  She  dores. Oh  backed  von  dem  zug!  Make  weg  for  their  tug!
With  a  ring  ding  dong,  they  raise  clasped  hands  and  advance more  steps  to  retire  to  the  saum.  Curtsey  one,  curtsey  two,  with arms  akimbo,  devotees.
Irrelevance.
All  sing:
—  I  rose  up  one  maypole  morning  and  saw  in  my  glass  how nobody  loves  me  but  you.  Ugh.  Ugh.
All  point  in  the  shem  direction  as  if  to  shun.
—  My  name  is  Misha  Misha  but  call  me  Tolfey  Tough.  I mean  Mettenchough.  It  was  her,  boy  the  boy  that  was  loft  in  the larch.  Ogh!  Ogh!
Her  reverence. All  laugh.
They  pretend  to  helf  while  they  simply  shauted  at  him  sauce  to make  hims  prich.  And  ith  ith  noth  cricquette,  Sally  Lums.  Not by  ever  such  a  lot.  Twentynines  of  bloomers  gegging  een  man
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arose.  Avis  was  there  and  trilled  her  about  it.  She's  her  sex,  for certain.  So  to  celebrate  the  occasion:
—  Wiliest  thou  rossy  banders  havind.'^
He  simules  to  be  tight  in  ribbings  round  his  rumpfFkorpff.
—  Are  you  Swarthants  that's  hit  on  a  shorn  stile? He  makes  semblant  to  be  swiping  their  chimbleys.
—  Can  you  ajew  ajew  fro'  Sheidam.^
He  finges  to  be  cutting  up  with  a  pair  of  sissers  and  to  be  buy- tings  of  their  maidens  and  spitting  their  heads  into  their  facepails. Spickspuk!  Spoken.
So  now  be  hushy,  little  pukers !  Side  here  roohish,  cleany  fug- lers!  Grandicellies,  all  stay  zitty!  Adultereux,  rest  as  befour!  For youVe  jolly  welly  dawdled  all  the  day.  When  ye  coif  tantoncle's hat  then'll  be  largely  temts  for  that.  Yet's  the  time  for  being  now, now,  now.
For  a  burning  would  is  come  to  dance  inane.  Glamours  hath moidered's  lieb  and  herefore  Coldours  must  leap  no  more.  Lack breath  must  leap  no  more.
Lei  lols  for  libelman  libling  his  lore.  Lolo  Lolo  liebermann  you loved  to  be  leaving  Libnius.  Lift  your  right  to  your  Liber  Lord. Link  your  left  to  your  lass  of  liberty.  Lala  Lala,  Leapermann, your  lep's  but  a  loop  to  lee.
A  fork  of  hazel  o'er  the  field  in  vox  the  verveine  virgins  ode. If  you  cross  this  rood  as  you  roamed  the  rand  I'm  blessed  but you'd  feel  him  a  blasting  rod.  Behind,  me,  frees  from  evil  smells! Perdition  stinks  before  us.
Aghatharept  they  fleurelly  to  Nebnos  will  and  Rosocale.  Twice is  he  gone  to  quest  of  her,  thrice  is  she  now  to  him.  So  see  we  so as  seed  we  sow.  And  their  prunktqueen  kilt  her  kirtles  up  and set  out.  And  her  troup  came  heeling,  O.  And  what  do  you  think that  pride  was  drest  in!  Voolykins'  diamondinah's  vestin.  For  ever they  scent  where  air  she  went.  While  all  the  fauns'  flares  widens wild  to  see  a  floral's  school.
Led  by  Lignifer,  in  four  hops  of  the  happiest,  ach  beth  cac  duff, a  marrer  of  the  sward  incoronate,  the  few  fly  the  farbetween! We  haul  minymony  on  that  piebold  nig.  Will  any  dubble  dabble
250
^  { r  cJj
on  the  bay?  Nor  far  jocubus?  Nic  for  jay?  Attilad!  Attattilad!  Get up,  Goth's  scourge  on  you!  There's  a  visitation  in  your  implu- vium.  Hun!  Hun!
He  stanth  theirs  mun  in  his  natural,  oblious  autamnesically of  his  very  proprium,  (such  is  stockpot  leaden,  so  did  sonsepun crake)  the  wont  to  be  wanton  maid  a  will  to  be  wise.  Thrust  from the  light,  apophotorejected,  he  spoors  loves  from  her  heats.  He blinkth.  But's  wrath's  the  higher  where  those  wreathe  charity. For  all  of  these  have  been  thisworlders,  time  liquescing  into  state, pitiless  age  grows  angelhood.  Though,  as  he  stehs,  most  anysing may  befallhim  from  a  song  of  a  witch  to  the  totter  of  Blackarss, given  a  fammished  devil,  a  young  sourceress  and  (eternal  con- junction) the  permission  of  overalls  with  the  cuperation  of  night- shirt. If  he  spice  east  he  seethes  in  sooth  and  if  he  pierce  north he  wilts  in  the  waist.  And  what  wonder  with  the  murkery  vice- heid  in  the  shade?  The  specks  on  his  lapspan  are  his  foul  deed thougths,  wishmarks  of  mad  imogenation.  Take^the;y  off!  Make the  off!  But  Funnylegs  are  leanly.  A  bimbamb  bum!  They  vain would  convert  the  to  be  hers  in  the  word.  Gush,  they  wooed! Gash,  they're  fair  ripecherry!
As  for  she  could  shake  him.  An  oaf,  no  more.  Still  he'd  be good  tutor  two  in  his  big  armschair  lerningstoel  and  she  be waxen  in  his  hands.  Turning  up  and  fingering  over  the  most  dan- tellising  peaches  in  the  lingerous  longerous  book  of  the  dark,  a Look  at  this  passage  about  Galilleotto!  I  know  it  is  difficult  but when  your  goche  I  go  dead.  Turn  now  to  this  patch  upon  Smac- chiavelluti!  Soot  allours,  he's  sure  to  spot  it!  'Twas  ever  so  in monitorology  since  Headmaster  Adam  became  Eva  Harte's toucher,  in  omnibus  morihus  et  temporibus^  with  man's  mischief in  his  mind  whilst  her  pupils  swimmed  too  heavenlies,  let  his  be exaspirated,  letters  be  blowed!  I  is  a  femaline  person.  O,  of  pro- vocative gender.  U  unisingular  case.
Which  is  why  trumpers  are  mixed  up  in  duels  and  here's  B. Rohan  meets  N.  Ohlan  for  the  prize  of  a  thou.  ji.'^
But  listen  to  the  mocking  birde  to  micking  barde  making  bared! We've  heard  it  aye  since  songdom  was  gemurrmal.  As  he  was
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queering  his  shoolthers.  So  was  1.  And  as  I  was  cleansing  my fausties.  So  was  he.  And  as  way  ware  puffiing  our  blowbags. Souwouyou.
Come,  thrust!  Go,  parry!  Dvoinabrathran,  dare!  The  mad long  ramp  of  manchind*s  parlements,  the  learned  lackleaming, merciless  as  wonderful.
—  Now  may  Saint  Mowy  of  the  Pleasant  Grin  be  your  ever- glass  and  even  prospect!
—  Feeling  dank. Exchange,  reverse.
—  And  may  Saint  Jerome  of  the  Harlots'  Curse  make  family three  of  you  which  is  much  abedder!
—  Grassy  ass  ago.
And  each  was  wrought  with  his  other.  And  his  continence  fell. The  bivitellines,  Metellus  and  Ametallikos,  her  crown  pretenders, obscindgemeinded  biekerers,  varying  directly,  uruseye  each  oxes- other,  superfetated  (never  cleaner  of  lamps  frowned  fiercelier  on anointer  of  hinges),  while  their  treegrown  girls,  king's  game,  if he  deign  so,  are  in  such  transfusion  just  to  know  twigst  timidy twomeys,  for  gracious  sake,  who  is  artthoudux  from  whose heterotropic,  the  sleepy  or  the  glouch,  for,  shyly  bawn  and showly  nursured,  exceedingly  nice  girls  can  strike  exceedingly bad  times  unless  so  richtly  chosen's  by  (what  though  of  riches he  have  none  and  hope  dashes  hope  on  his  heart's  horizon)  to  gar their  great  moments  greater.  The  thing  is  he  must  be  put  strait on  the  spot,  no  mere  waterstichystuff  in  a  selfmade  world  that you  can't  believe  a  word  he's  written  in,  not  for  pie,  but  one's only  owned  by  nature!  rejection.  Charley,  you're  my  darwing! So  sing  they  sequent  the  assent  of  man.  Till  they  go  round  if they  go  roundagain  before  breakparts  and  all  dismissed.  They keep.  Step  keep.  Step.  Stop.  Who  is  Fleur?  Where  is  Ange?  Or Gardoun.'*
Creedless,  croonless  hangs  his  haughty.  There  end  no  moe  red devil  in  the  white  of  his  eye.  Braglodyte  him  do  a  katadupe !  A  con- damn  quondam  jontom  sick  af  a  suckbut!  He  does  not  know  how his  grandson's  grandson's  grandson's  grandson  will  stammer  up
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I
in  Peruvian  for  in  the  ersebest  idiom  I  have  done  it  equals  I  so shall  do.  He  dares  not  think  why  the  grandmother  of  the  grand- mother of  his  grandmother's  grandmother  coughed  Russky  with suchky  husky  accent  since  in  the  mouthart  of  the  slove  look  at me  now  means  I  once  was  otherwise.  Nor  that  the  mappamund has  been  changing  pattern  as  youth  plays  moves  from  street  to street  since  time  and  races  were  and  wise  ants  hoarded  and  saute- relles  were  spendthrifts,  no  thing  making  newthing  wealthshow- ever  for  a  silly  old  Sol,  healthytobedder  and  latewiser.  Nor  that  the turtling  of  a  London's  alderman  is  ladled  out  by  the  waggerful  to the  regionals  of  pigmyland.  His  part  should  say  in  honour  bound: So  help  me  symethew,  sammarc,  selluc  and  singin,  I  will  stick  to you,  by  gum,  no  matter  what,  bite  simbum,  and  in  case  of  the event  coming  off  beforehand  even  so  you  was  to  release  me  for the  sake  of  the  other  cheap  girl's  baby's  name  plaster  me  but  I will  pluckily  well  pull  on  the  buckskin  gloves !  But  Noodynaady's actual  ingrate  tootle  is  of  come  into  the  garner  mauve  and  thy nice  are  stores  of  morning  and  buy  me  a  bunch  of  iodines.
Evidentament  he  has  failed  as  tiercely  as  the  deuce  before  for she  is  wearing  none  of  the  three.  And  quite  as  patenly  there  is  a hole  in  the  ballet  trough  which  the  rest  fell  out.  Because  to  ex- plain why  the  residue  is,  was,  or  will  not  be,  according  to  the eighth  axiom,  proceeded  with,  namely,  since  ever  apart  that  gos- san duad,  so  sure  as  their's  a  patch  on  a  pomelo,  this  yam  ham  in never  live  could,  the  shifting  about  of  the  lassies,  the  tug  of  love of  their  lads  ending  with  a  great  deal  of  merriment,  hoots, screams,  scarf  drill,  cap  fecking,  ejaculations  of  aurinos,  reecho- able  mirthpeals  and  general  thumbtonosery  (Myama's  a  yaung yaung  cauntry),  one  must  recken  with  the  sudden  and  gigant- esquesque  appearance  unwithstandable  as  a  general  election  in Barnado's  bearskin  amongst  the  brawlmiddle  of  this  village  chil- dergarten  of  the  largely  longsuffering  laird  of  Lucanhof.
But,  vrayedevraye  Blankdeblank,  god  of  all  machineries  and tomestone  of  Barnstaple,  by  mortisection  or  vivisuture,  splitten up  or  recompounded,  an  isaac  jacquemin  mauromormo  milesian, how  accountibus  for  him,  moreblue?
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Was  he  pitssched  for  an  ensemple  as  certain  have  dognosed  of him  against  our  seawall  by  Rurie,  Thoath  and  Cleaver,  those three  stout  sweynhearts,  Orion  of  the  Orgiasts,  Meereschal  Mac- Muhun,  the  Ipse  dadden,  product  of  the  extremes  giving  quoti- dients  to  our  means,  as  might  occur  to  anyone,  your  brutest layaman  with  the  princest  champion  in  our  archdeaconry,  or  so yclept  from  Clio's  clippings,  which  the  chroncher  of  chivalries is  sulpicious  save  he  scan,  for  ancients  link  with  presents  as  the human  chain  extends,  have  done,  do  and  will  again  as  John,  Poly- carp  and  Irenews  eye-to-eye  ayewitnessed  and  to  Paddy  Palmer, while  monks  sell  yew  to  archers  or  the  water  of  the  livvying goes  the  way  of  all  fish  from  Sara's  drawhead,  the  corralsome,  to Isaac's,  the  lauphed  butt  one,  with  her  minnelisp  extorreor  to  his moanolothe  inturned?  So  Perrichon  with  Bastienne  or  heavy Humph  with  airy  Nan,  Ricqueracqbrimbillyjicqueyjocqjolicass? How  sowesthow,  dullcisamica}  A  and  aa  ab  ad  abu  abiad.  A babbel  men  dub  gulch  of  tears.
The  mar  of  murmury  mermers  to  the  mind's  ear,  uncharted rock,  evasive  weed.  Only  the  caul  knows  his  thousandfirst  name. Hocus  Crocus,  Esquilocus,  Finnfinn  the  Faineant,  how  feel  full foes  in  furrinarr!  Doth  it  not  all  come  aft  to  you,  puritysnooper, in  theJB^ay  television  opes  longtimes  ofter  when  Potollomuck Sotyr  or  Sourdanapplous  the  Lollapaloosa?  The  charges  are,  you will  remember,  the  chances  are,  you  won't;  bit  it's  old  Joe,  the Java  Jane,  older  even  than  Odam  Costollo,  and  we  are  recur- rently meeting  em,  par  Mahun  Mesme,  in  cycloannalism,  from space  to  space,  time  after  time,  in  various  phases  of  scripture  as in  various  poses  of  sepulture.  Greets  Godd,  Groceries!  Merodach! Defend  the  King!  Hoet  of  the  rough  throat  attack  but  whose  say is  soft  but  whose  ee  has  a  cute  angle,  he  whose  hut  is  a  hissarlik even  as  her  hennin's  aspire.  And  insodaintily  she's  a  quine  of  selm ashaker  while  as  a  murder  of  corpse  when  his  magot's  up  he's the  best  berrathon  sanger  in  all  the  aisles  of  Skaldignavia.  As  who shall  hear.  For  now  at  last  is  Longabed  going  to  be  gone  to,  that more  than  man,  prince  of  Bunnicombe  of  wide  roadsterds,  tlie herblord  the  gillyflowrets  so  fain  fan  to  flatter  about.  Artho  is  the
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name  is  on  the  hero,  Capellisato,  shoehanded  slaughterer  of  the shader  of  our  leaves.
Attach  him!  Hold!
Yet  stir  thee,  to  clay,  Tamor!
Why  wilt  thou  ergs'aken  him  from  his  earth,  O  summonor- other:  he  is  weatherbitten  from  the  dusts  of  ages?  The  hour  of  his closing  hies  to  hand;  the  tocsin  that  shall  claxonise  his  ware- abouts.  If  one  who  remembered  his  webgoods  and  tealofts  were to  ask  of  a  hooper  for  whose  it  was  the  storks  were  quitting Aquileyria,  this  trundler  would  not  wot;  if  other  who  joined  faith when  his  depth  charge  bombed  our  barrel  spillway  were  to  — !
Jehosophat,  what  doom  is  here !  Rain  ruth  on  them,  sire !  The wing  of  Moykill  cover  him!  The  Bulljon  Bossbrute  quarantee him!  Calavera,  caution!  Slaves  to  Virtue,  save  his  Veri totem! Bearara  T olems^  procul  abeatl  The  Ivorbonegorer  of  Danamara- ca  be,  his  Hector  Protector!  Woldomar  with  Vasa,  peel  your peeps !  And  try  to  saviourise  the  nights  of  labour  to  the  order  of our  blooding  worold!  While  Pliny  the  Younger  writes  to  Pliny the  Elder  his  calamolumen  of  contumellas,  what  Aulus  Gellius picked  on  Micmacrobius  and  what  Vitruvius  pocketed  from Cassiodorus.  Like  we  larnt  from  that  Buke  of  Lukan  in  Dublin's capital,  Kongdam  Coombe.  Even  if  you  are  the  kooper  of  the winkel  over  measure  never  lost  a  licence.  Nor  a  duckindonche divulse  from  bath  and  breakfast.  And  for  the  honour  of  Alcohol drop  that  you-know-what-Fve-come-about-I-saw-your-act  air! Punch  may  be  pottleproud  but  his  Judy's  a  wife's  wit  better.
For  the  producer  (Mr  John  Baptister  Vickar)  caused  a  deep abuliousness  to  descend  upon  the  Father  of  Truants  and,  at  a  side issue,  pluterpromptly  brought  on  the  scene  the  cutletsized  con- sort, foundling  filly  of  fortyshilling  fostertailor  and  shipman's shopahoyden,  weighing  ten  pebble  ten,  scaling  five  footsy  five and  spanning  thirtyseven  inchettes  round  the  good  companions, twentynine  ditties  round  the  wishful  waistress,  thirtyseven  alsos round  the  answer  to  everything,  twentythree  of  the  same  round each  of  the  quis  separabits,  fourteen  round  the  beginning  of  hap- piness and  nicely  nine  round  her  shoed  for  slender.
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And  eher  you  could  pray  mercy  to  goodness  or  help  with  your hokey  or  mehokeypoo,  Callus's  hen  has  collared  her  pullets. That's  where  they  have  owreglias  for.  Their  bone  of  contention, flesh  to  their  thorns,  prest  as  Prestissima,  makes  off  in  a  thinkling (and  not  one  hen  only  nor  two  hens  neyther  but  every  blessed brigid  came  aclucking  and  aclacking),  while,  a  rum  a  rum,  the ram  of  all  harns,  Bier,  Wijn,  Spirituosen  for  consumption  on  the premises,  advokaat  withouten  pleaders,  Mas  marrit.  Pas  poulit, Ras  ruddist  of  all,  though  flamifestouned  from  galantifloures,  is hued  and  cried  of  each's  colour.
Home  all  go.  Halome.  Blare  no  more  ramsblares,  oddmund barkes !  And  cease  your  fumings,  kindalled  bushies !  And  sherri- goldies  yeassymgnays;  your  wildeshaweshowe  moves  swiftly sterneward!  For  here  the  holy  language.  Soons  to  come.  To pausse.
'Tis  goed.  Het  best.
For  they  are  now  tearing,  that  is,  teartoretorning.  Too  soon are  coming  tasbooks  and  goody,  hominy  bread  and  bible  bee, with  jaggery-yo  to  juju-jaw,  Fine's  French  phrases  from  the Grandmere  des  Grammaires  and  bothered  parsenaps  from  the Four  Massores,  Mattatias,  Marusias,  Lucanias,  Jokinias,  and  what happened  to  our  eleven  in  thirtytwo  antepostdating  the  Valgur Eire  and  why  is  limbo  where  is  he  and  what  are  the  sound  waves  V saying  ceased  ere  they  all  wayed  wrong  and  Amnist  anguished axes  Collis  and  where  fishngaman  fetched  the  mongafesh  from and  whatfor  paddybird  notplease  rancoon  and  why  was  Sindat sitthing  on  him  sitbom  Uke  a  saildior,  with  what  the  doc  did  in  the doil,  not  to  mention  define  the  hydraulics  of  common  salt  and, its  denier  crid  of  old  provaunce,  where  G.P.O.  is  zentrum  and D.U.T.C.  are  radients  write  down  by  the  frequency  of  the  scores and  crores  of  your  refractions  the  valuations  in  the  pice  of  ding- gyings  on  N.C.R.  and  S.C.R.
That  little  cloud,  a  nibulissa,  still  hangs  isky.  Singabed  sulks before  slumber.  Light  at  night  has  an  alps,  on  his  druckhouse. Thick  head  and  thin  butter  or  after  you  with  me.  Caspi,  but gueroligue  stings  the  air.  Gaylegs  to  riot  of  us!  Gallocks  to  lafft!
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.J-
yvA-
(  0"
What  is  amaid  today  todo?  So  angelland  all  weeping  bin  that  Izzy most  unhappy  is.  Fain  Essie  fie  onhapje?  laughs  her  stella/s  vispirine.
While,  running  about  their  ways,  going  and  coming,  now  at rhimba  rhomba,  now  in  trippiza  trappaza,  pleating  a  pattern  Gran  ^  ^  ,^  ^ Geamatron  showed  them  of  gracehoppers,  auntskippers  and  coney- farm  leppers,  they  jeerilied  along,  durian  gay  and  marian  maid-  ^  ^e^'f  ^ cap,  lou  Dariou  beside  la  Matieto,  all  boy  more  all  girl  singout-  r feller  longa  house  blong  store  Huddy,  whilest  nin  nin  nin  nin  that Boorman's  clock,  a  winny  on  the  tinny  side,  ninned  nin  nin  nin nin,  about  old  Father  Barley  how  he  got  up  of  a  morning  arley and  he  met  with  a  plattonem  blondes  named  Hips  and  Haws  and fell  in  with  a  fellows  of  Trinity  some  header  Skowood  Shaws  like (You'll  catch  it,  don't  fret,  Mrs  Tummy  Lupton!  Come  indoor, Scoffynosey,  and  shed  your  swank!)  auld  Daddy  Deacon  who could  stow  well  his  place  of  beacon  but  he  never  could  hold  his kerosene's  candle  to  (The  nurse'll  give  it  you,  stickypots !  And  you wait,  my  lasso,  fecking  the  twine!)  bold  Farmer  Burleigh  who wuck  up  in  a  hurlywurly  where  he  huddly  could  wuddle  to  wal- low his  weg  tillbag  of  the  baker's  booth  to  beg  of  (You're  well held  now.  Missy  Cheekspeer,  and  your  panto's  off!  Fie,  for  shame, Ruth  Wheatacre,  after  all  the  booz  said!)  illed  Diddiddy  Achin for  the  prize  of  a  pease  of  bakin  with  a  pinch  of  the  panch  of  the ponch  in  jurys  for  (Ah,  crabeyes,  I  have  you,  showing  off  to  the world  with  that  gape  in  your  stocking!)  Wold  Forrester  Farley who,  in  deesperation  of  deispiration  at  the  diasporation  of  his diesparation,  was  found  of  the  round  of  the  sound  of  the  lound  a of  the.  Lukkedoerendunandurraskewdylooshoofermoyportertoo-  ^ ryzooysphalnabortansporthaokansakroidverjkapakkapuk.
Upploud!  ^  -       ^  ^'^    C-CrtiL^  .
The  play  thou  schouwburgst.  Game,  here  endeth.  The  curtain drops  by  deep  request. Uplouderamain !
\^  Gonn  the  gawds,  Gunnar's  gustspells.  When  the  h,  who  the hu,  how  the  hue,  where  the  huer.'^  Orbiter  onswers:  lots  lives lost.  Fionia  is  fed  up  with  Fidge  Fudgesons.  Sealand  snorres.
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Rendningrocks  roguesreckning  reigns.  Gwds  with  gurs  are gttrdmmrng.  HUs  vlls.  The  timid  hearts  of  words  all  exeomno- sunt.  Mannagad,  lammalelouh,  how  do  that  come?  By  Dad,  youd not  heed  that  fert?  Fulgitudes  ejist  rowdownan  tonuout.  Quoq! And  buncskleydoodle !  Kidoosh!  Of  their  fear  they  broke,  they ate  wind,  they  fled;  where  they  ate  there  they  fled;  of  their  fear they  fled,  they  broke  away.  Go  to,  let  us  extol  Azrael  with  our harks,  by  our  brews,  on  our  jambses,  in  his  gaits.  To  Mezou- zalem  with  the  Dephilim,  didits  dinkun's  dud.'^  Yip!  Yup!  Yar- rah!  And  let  Nek  Nekulon  extol  Mak  Makal  and  let  him  say unto  him:  Immi  ammi  Semmi.  And  shall  not  Babel  be  with Lebab.'^  And  he  war.  And  he  shall  open  his  mouth  and  answer: I  hear,  O  Ismael,  how  they  laud  is  only  as  my  loud  is  one.  If Nekulon  shall  be  havonfalled  surely  Makal  haven  hevens.  Go  to, let  us  extell  Makal,  yea,  let  us  exceedingly  extell.  Though  you have  lien  amung  your  posspots  my  excellency  is  over  Ismael. Great  is  him  whom  is  over  Ismael  and  he  shall  mekanek  of  Mak Nakulon.  And  he  deed. Uplouderamainagain !
For  the  Clearer  of  the  Air  from  on  high  has  spoken  in  tumbul- dum  tambaldam  to  his  tembledim  tombaldoom  worrild  and,  mogu- phonoised  by  that  phonemanon,  the  unhappitents  of  the  earth have  terrerumbled  from  fimament  unto  fundament  and  from tweedledeedumms  down  to  twiddledeedees.
Loud,  hear  us!
Loud,  graciously  hear  us !
Now  have  thy  children  entered  into  their  habitations.  And nationglad,  camp  meeting  over,  to  shin  it,  Gov  be  thanked !  Thou hast  closed  the  portals  of  the  habitations  of  thy  children  and  thou hast  set  thy  guards  thereby,  even  Garda  Didymus  and  Garda ^  Domas,  that  thy  children  may  read  in  the  book  of  the  opening  of the  mind  to  light  and  err  not  in  the  darkness  which  is  the  after- thought of  thy  nomatter  by  the  guardiance  of  those  guards  which are  thy  bodemen,  the  cheeryboyum  chirryboth  with  the  kerry- bommers  in  their  krubeems,  Pray-your-Prayers  Timothy  and Back-to-Bunk  Tom.
258
\
Till  tree  from  tree,  tree  among  trees,  tree  over  tree  become stone  to  stone,  stone  between  stones,  stone  under  stone  for  ever.
O  Loud,  hear  the  wee  beseech  of  thees  of  each  of  these  thy  un- litten  ones!  Grant  sleep  in  hour's  time,  O  Loud!
That  they  take  no  chill.  That  they  do  ming  no  merder.  That they  shall  not  gomeet  madhowiatrees.  ,  \/  c^^-^
Loud,  heap  miseries  upon  us  yet  entwine  our  arts  with  laugh- ters low!
Ha  he  hi  ho  hu.
Mummum.
259
With  his  broad and  hairy  face ^ to  Ireland  a disgrace,
Menly  about peebles.
Dont  retch  meat fat  salt  lard sinks  down  {and out).
As  we  there  are  where  are  we  are  we  there from  tomtittot  to  teetootomtotalitarian.  Tea tea  too  oo.
Whom  will  comes  over.  Who  to  caps  ever. And  howelse  do  we  hook  our  hike  to  find  that pint  of  porter  place?  Am  shot,  says  the  big- guard.^
Whence.  Quick  lunch  by  our  left,  wheel, to  where.  Long  Livius  Lane,  mid  Mezzofanti Mall,  diagonising  Lavatery  Square,  up  Tycho Brache  Crescent,^  shouldering  Berkeley  Alley, querfixing  Gainsborough  Carfax,  under  Guido d'Arezzo's  Gadeway,  by  New  Livius  Lane  till where  we  whiled  while  we  whithered.  Old Vico  Roundpoint.  But  fahr,  be  fear!  And natural,  simple,  slavish,  filial.  The  marriage  of Montan  wetting  his  moll  we  know,  like  any enthewsyass  cuckling  a  hoyden^  in  her  rougey
UNDE  ETUBI,
SIC.
IMAGINABLE ITINERARY THROUGH THE
PARTICULAR UNIVERSAL.
^  Rawmeash,  quoshe  with  her  girlie  teangue.  If  old  Herod  with  the  Corm- well's  eczema  was  to  go  for  me  like  he  does  Snuffler  whatever  about  his  blue canaries  I'd  do  nine  months  for  his  beaver  beard.
^  Mater  Mary  Mercerycordial  of  the  Dripping  Nipples,  milk's  a  queer arrangement.
'  Real  life  behind  the  floodlights  as  shown  by  the  best  exponents  of  a  royal divorce.
260
iwiney  Tod,  ye Daimon  Barhar!
Dig  him  in  the iibsh!
Jngodly  old  Ard- ipy,  Cronwall ieeswaxing  the bnvulsion  box.
gipsylike  chinkaminx  pulshandjupeyjade  and her  petsybluse  indecked  o'  voylets.^  When who  was  wist  was  ware.  En  elv,  et  f  jaell.  And the  whirr  of  the  whins  humming  us  howe. His  hume.  Hencetaking  tides  we  haply  return, trumpeted  by  prawns  and  ensigned  with  sea- kale,  to  befinding  ourself  when  old  is  said  in one  and  maker  mates  with  made  (O  my!), having  conned  the  cones  and  meditated  the mured  and  pondered  the  pensils  and  ogled  the olymp  and  delighted  in  her  dianaphous  and cacchinated  behind  his  culosses,  before  a mosoleum.  Length  Withought  Breath,  of  him, a  chump  of  the  evums,  upshoot  of  picnic  or stupor  out  of  sopor.  Cave  of  Kids  or  Hyma- nian  Glattstoneburg,  denary,  danery,  donnery, domm,  who,  entiringly  as  he  continues  highly- fictional,  tumulous  under  his  chthonic  exterior but  plain  Mr  Tumulty  in  muftilife,^  in  his  an- tisipiences  as  in  his  recognisances,  is,  (Dominic Directus)  a  manyfeast  munificent  more  mob than  man.
Ainsoph,^  this  upright  one,  with  that noughty  besighed  him  zeroine.  To  see  in  his horrorscup  he  is  mehrkurios  than  saltz  of sulphur.  Terror  of  the  noonstruck  by  day, cryptogam  of  each  nightly  bridable.  But,  to speak  broken  heaventalk,  is  he?  Who  is  he? Whose  is  he?  Why  is  he?  Howmuch  is  he? Which  is  he?  When  is  he?  Where  is  he?^  How is  he?  And  what  the  decans  is  there  about  him
CONSTITU- TION OF  THE CONSTITU- TIONABLE AS CONSTITU- TIONAL.
^  When  we  play  dress  grownup  at  alia  ludo  poker  you'll  be  happnessised to  feel  how  fetching  I  can  look  in  clingarounds.
^  Kellywick,  Longfellow's  Lodgings,  House  of  Comments  III,  Cake  "Walk, Amusing  Avenue,  Salt  Hill,  Co.  Mahogany,  Izalond,  Terra  Firma.
^  Groupname  for  grape  juice.
*  Bhing,  said  her  burglar's  head,  soto  poce.
261
Swing  the  hanjo^ bantams^  hounce- the-hallers blown  to  fook,
Thsight  near left  me  eyes  when I  seen  her  put thounce  otay ithpot.
Quartandwds.
anyway,  the  decemt  man?  Easy,  calm  your haste!  Approach  to  lead  our  passage! This  bridge  is  upper. Cross.
Thus  come  to  castle. Knock.i
A  password,  thanks. Yes,  pearse. Well,  all  be  dumbed! O  really.^2
Hoo  cavedin  earthwight
At  furscht  kracht  of  thunder.^
When  shoo,  his  flutterby.
Was  netted  and  named.^
Erdnacrusha,  requiestress,  wake  em!
And    let    luck's    puresplutterall    lucy  at
ease!^
To  house  as  wise  fool  ages  builded. Sow  byg  eat.^
Staplering  to  tether  to,  steppingstone  to mount  by,  as  the  Boote's  at  Pickardstown. And  that  skimmelk  steed  still  in  the  ground- loftfan.  As  over  all.  Or  be  these  wingsets  leaned to  the  outwalls,  beastskin  trophies  of  booth of  Baws  the  balsamboards.'^^  Burials  be  bally- houraised!  So  let  Bacchus  e'en  call!  Inn  inn! Inn  inn!  Where.  The  babbers  ply  the  pen. The  bibbers  drang  the  den.  The  papplicom, the  pubblicam  he's  turning  tin  for  ten.  From
PROBA- POSSIBLE PROLEGO- MENA TO IDEAREAL HISTORY.
GNOSIS  OF PRECREATE DETERMINA- TION.
AGNOSIS  OF POSTCREATE DETER- MINISM.
Tickets  for  the Tailwaggers Terrierpuppy Raffle,
*  Yussive  smirte  and  ye  mermon  answerth  from  his  beelyingplace  below the  tightmark,  Gotahelv !
2  O  Evol,  kool  in  the  salg  and  ees  how  Dozi  pits  what  a  drows  er. ^  A  goodrid  croven  in  a  tynwalled  tub.
*  Apis  amat  aram.  Luna  legit  librum.  Pulla  petit  pascua. ^  And  after  dinn  to  shoot  the  shades.
^  Says  blistered  Mary  Achinhead  to  beautifed  Tummy  Tullbutt. Begge.  To  go  to  Begge.  To  go  to  Begge  and  to  be  sure  to  reminder Begge.  Goodbeg,  buggey  Begge.
262
\
seldomers  that  most  frequent  him.  That  same erst  crafty  hakemouth  which  under  the  assumed name  of  Ignotus  Loquor,  of  foggy  old, harangued  bellyhooting  fishdrunks  on  their favorite  stamping  ground,  from  a  father  theo- balder  brake.  ^  And  Egyptus,  the  incenstrobed. Mars  speaking.  as  Cyrus  heard  of  him.^  And  Major  A.  Shaw after  he  got  the  miner  smellpex.'^  And  old Whiteman  self,  the  blighty  blotchy,  beyond the  bays,  hope  of  ostrogothic  and  ottomanic faith  converters,  despair  of  Pandemia's  post- war tem  plastic  surgeons.^  But  is  was  all  so long  ago.  Hispano-Cathayan-Euxine,  Castil- lian  -  Emeratic  -  Hebridian,  Espanol  -  Cymric- Smithy  no  home,  Helleniky.^  Rolf  the  Ganger,  Rough  the  Gang- ster, not  a  feature  alike  and  the  face  the  same.^ Pastimes  are  past  times.  Now  let  bygones be  bei  Gunne's.  Saaleddies  er  it  in  this  warken werden,  mine  boerne,  and  it  vild  need  older- wise^  since  primal  made  alter  in  garden  of Idem.  The  tasks  above  are  as  the  flasks  below, saith  the  emerald  canticle  of  Hermes  and  all's Nan  quod  sed  loth  and  pleasestir,  are  we  told,  on  excellent ^^J-<^t.  inkbottle  authority,  solarsystemised,  seriol-
cosmically,  in  a  more  and  more  almightily expanding  universe  under  one,  there  is  rhyme- less  reason  to  believe,  original  sun.  Securely judges  orb  terrestrial.*  Hand  certo  ergo.  But Hearasay  in  O  felicitous  culpability,  sweet  bad  cess  to  you
aradox  lust,         for  an  archetypt !
^  Huntler  and  Pumar's  animal  alphabites,  the  first  in  the  world  from aab  to  zoo.
2  We  dont  hear  the  booming  cursowarries,  we  wont  fear  the  fletches  of fightning,  we  float  the  meditarenias  and  come  bask  to  the 'isle  we  love  in spice.  Punt.
^  And  tliis  once  golden  bee  a  cimadoro.
*  And  he  was  a  gay  Lutharius  anyway,  Sinobiled.  You  can  tell  by  their extraordinary  clothes.
263
Bags. Balls.
Move  up, Mackinerny! Make  room  for Muckinurney!
Honour  commercio's  energy  yet  aid  the linkless  proud,  the  plurable  with  everybody and  ech  with  pal,  this  ernst  of  Allsap*s  ale halliday  of  roaring  month  with  its  two  lunar eclipses  and  its  three  saturnine  settings!  Horn of  Heatthen,  highbrowed!  Brook  of  Life,  back- frish!  Amnios  amniurn,  fluminiculum  flami- nulinorum!  We  seek  the  Blessed  One,  the Harbourer-cum-Enheritance.  Even  Canaan the  Hateful.  Ever  a-going,  ever  a-coming. Between  a  stare  and  a  sough.  Fossilisation,  all branches.^  Wherefore  Petra  sware  unto  Ulma: By  the  mortals'  frost!  And  Ulma  sware  unto Petra:  On  my  veiny  life!
In  these  places  sojournemus,  where  Eblinn water,  leased  of  carr  and  fen,  leaving  amont  her shoals  and  salmen  browses,  whom  inshore breezes  woo  with  freshets,  windeth  to  her broads.  A  phantom  city,  phaked  of  philim pholk,  bowed  and  sould  for  a  four  of  hundreds of  manhood  in  their  three  and  threescore fylkers  for  a  price  partitional  of  twenty  six  and six.  By  this  riverside,  on  our  sunnybank,^  how buona  the  vista,  by  Santa  Rosa!  A  field  of  May, the  very  vale  of  Spring.  Orchards  here  are lodged;  sainted  lawrels  evremberried.  You have  a  hoig  view  ashwald,  a  glen  of  marrons and  of  thorns.  Gleannaulinn,  Ardeevin:  purty glint  of  plaising  height.  This  Norman  court  at boundary  of  the  ville,  yon  creepered  tower  of a  church  of  Ereland,  meet  for  true  saints  in worshipful  assemblage,^  with  our  king's  house
ARCHAIC ZELOTYPIA AND  THE ODIUM  TEL- EOLOGICUM.
THE  LOCALI- SATION OF LEGEND LEADING  TO THE  LEGALI- SATION OF LATIFUND- ISM.
^  Startnaked  and  bonedstiff.  We  vivvy  soddy.  All  be  dood. 2  When  you  dreamt  that  you'd  wealth  in  marble  arch  do  you  ever  think  of pool  beg  slowe.
^  Porphyrious  Olbion,  redcoatliar,  we  were  always  wholly  rose  marines on  our  side  every  time.
264
1
n  snowdrop, rou-de-dentelky lesh  and  helio- rope.
eres  our  do^en usins  from  the irves  on  tripes.
of  stone,  belgroved  of  mulbrey,  the  still  that was  mill  and  Kloster  that  was  Yeomansland, the  ghastcold  tombshape  of  the  quick  fore- gone on,  the  loftleaved  elm  Lefanunian  above- mansioned,  each,  every,  all  is  for  the  retro- spectioner.  Skole!  Agus  skole  igen!^  Sweet- some  auburn,  cometh  up  as  a  selfreizing  flower, that  fragolance  of  the  fraisey  beds:  the  phoenix, his  pyre,  is  still  flaming  away  with  trueprat- tight  spirit:  the  wren  his  nest  is  niedelig  as  the turrises  of  the  sabines  are  televisible.  Here  are the  cottage  and  the  bungalow  for  the  cobbeler and  the  brandnewburgher:^  but  Izolde,  her chaplet  gardens,  an  litlee  plads  af  liefest  pose, arride  the  winnerful  wonders  ofl",  the  winner- ful  wonnerful  wanders  ofl",^  with  hedges  of ivy  and  hollywood  and  bower  of  mistletoe, are,  tho  if  it  theem  tho  and  yeth  if  you pleathes,^  for  the  blithehaired  daughter  of Angoisse.  All  out  of  two  barreny  old  perishers, Tytonyhands  and  Vlossyhair,  a  kilolitre  in metromyriams.  Presepeprosapia,  the  parent bole.  Wone  tabard,  wine  tap  and  warm  tavern^ and,  by  ribbon  development,  from  contact bridge  to  lease  lapse,  only  two  millium  two humbered  and  eighty  thausig  nine  humbered and  sixty  radiolumin  lines  to  the  wustworts  of a  Finntown's  generous  poet's  office.  Distorted mirage,  aloofliest  of  the  plain,  wherein  the
^  Now  a  muss  wash  the  little  face.
2  A  viking  vernacular  expression  still  used  in  the  Summerhill  district  for  a jerryhatted  man  of  forty  who  puts  two  fingers  into  his  boiling  soupplate  and licks  them  in  turn  to  find  out  if  there  is  enough  mushroom  catsup  in  the mutton  broth.
3  H'  dk'  fs'  h'p'y. ^  Googlaa  pluplu.
^Tomley.  The  grown  man.  A  butcher  szewched  him  the  bloughs  and braches.  I'm  chory  to  see  P.  Shuter.
265
Bet  you  fippence^
anythesious^ there  s  no  pug- gatoryy  are  yous same^
boxomeness  of  the  bedelias^  makes  hobby- hodge  happy  in  his  hole.^  The  store  and charter,  Treetown  Castle  under  Lynne.  Riva- pool?  Hod  a  brieck  on  it!  But  its  piers  eerie, its  span  spooky,  its  toll  but  a  till,  its  parapets all  peripateting.  D' Oblong's  by  his  by.  Which we  all  pass.  Tons.  In  our  snoo.  Znore.  While we  hickerwards  the  thicker.  Schein.  Schore. Which  assoars  us  from  the  murk  of  the  mythe- lated  in  the  barrabelowther,  bedevere  butlered table  round,  past  Momingtop's  necessity  and Harington's  invention,  to  the  clarience  of  the childlight  in  the  studiorium  upsturts.  Here we'll  dwell  on  homiest  powers,  love  at  the latch  with  novices  nig  and  nag.  The  chorus: the  principals.  For  the  rifocillation  of  their inclination  to  the  manifestation  of  irritation: doldorboys  and  doll.^  After  sound,  light  and heat,  memory,  will  and  understanding.
Here  (the  memories  framed  from  walls  are minding)  till  wranglers  for  wringwrowdy wready  are,  F  (at  gaze,  respecting,  four- teenth baronet,  meet,  altrettanth  bancorot, chaff)  and  ere  commence  commencement  cata- launic  when  Aetius  check  chokewill  Attil's gambit,  (that  buxon  bruzeup,  give  it  a  burl!) lead  us  seek,  O  june  of  eves  the  jenniest, thou  who  fleeest  flicklesome  the  fond  fervid frondeur  to  thickly  thyself  attach  with  thine efteased  ensuer,"*  ondrawer  of  our  uncon- scionable,  flickerflapper    fore    our  unter-
PREAUSTERIC MAN  AND  HIS PURSUIT  OF PAN- HYSTERIC WOMAN.
^  I  believe  in  Dublin  and  the  Sultan  of  Turkey.
2  I  have  heard  this  word  used  by  Martin  Halpin,  an  old  gardener  from  the Glens  of  Antrim  who  used  to  do  odd  jobs  for  my  godfather,  the  Rev.  B.  B. Brophy  of  Swords.
^  Ravens  may  rive  so  can  dove  deelish.
*  A  question  of  pull.
266
I
ere  was  a hopeful ulled  Cis.
\weet
'.  he  Big  Bear L  the  Sailor  s hly.  Trouble^ mbky  trouble,
Mrening  Unge IristlikeKvinne.
drugged,^  lead  us  seek,  lote  us  see,  light  us  find, let  us  missnot  Maidadate,  Mimosa  Multimim- etica,  the  maymeaminning  of  maimoomeining ! Elpis,  thou  fountain  of  the  greeces,  all  shall  speer theeward,^  from  kongen  in  his  canteenhus  to knivers  hind  the  knolL  Ausonius  Audacior and  gael,  gillie,  gall.^  Singalingalying.  Storiella as  she  is  syung.  Whence  followeup  with  end- speaking  nots  for  yestures,  plutonically  pur- suant on  briefest  glimpse  from  gladrags,  pretty Proserpronette  whose  slit  satchel  spilleth  peas.
Belisha  beacon,  beckon  bright!  Usherette, unmesh  us !  That  grene  ray  of  earong  it  waves us  to  yonder  as  the  red,  blue  and  yellow  flogs time  on  the  domisole,^  with  a  blewy  blow  and a  windigo.  Where  flash  becomes  word  and silents  self  loud.  To  brace  congeners,  trebly bounden  and  asservaged  twainly.  Adamman,^ Emhe,  Issossianusheen  and  sometypes  Yggely ogs  Weib.  Uwayoei!^  So  mag  this  sybilette  be our  shibboleth  that  we  may  syllable  her  well ! Vetus  may  be  occluded  behind  the  mou  in Veto  but  Nova  will  be  nearing  as  their  radient among  the  Nereids.  A  one  of  charmers,  ay, Una  Unica,  charmers,  who,  under  the  branches of  the  elms,  in  shoes  as  yet  unshent  by  stoni- ness,  wend,  went,  will  wend  a  way  of  honey myrrh  and  rambler  roses  mistmusk  while  still the  maybe  mantles  the  meiblume  or  ever  her
URGES  AND WIDERURGES IN  APRIMI- TIVE  SEPT.
^  For  Rose  Point  see  Inishmacsaint. 2  Mannequins'  Pose.
^  Their  holy  presumption  and  hers  sinfly  desprit. *  Anama  anamaba  anamabapa.
^  Only  for  he's  fathering  law  I  could  skewer  that  old  one  and  slosh  her  out many's  the  time  but  I  thinks  more  of  my  pottles  and  ketts.
^  All  abunk  for  Tarararat!  Look  slipper,  soppyhat,  we've  a  doss  in  the manger.
267
Telltale  me  all of  annaryllies.
Will  you  carry my  can  and fight  the  fairies^
Allma  Mathers^ Auctioneer.
Old  Gavelkind the  Gamper  and hes  as  daff  as you  re  erse.
if  have  faded  from  the  fleur,^  their  arms enlocked,  (ringrang,  the  chimes  of  sex  appeal- ing as  conchitas  with  sentas  stray ,2  rung !),  all thinking  all  of  it,  the  It  with  an  itch  in  it,  the  All every  inch  of  it,  the  pleasure  each  will  preen  her for,  the  business  each  was  bred  to  breed  by.^
Soon  jemmijohns  will  cudgel  about  some a  rhythmatick  or  other  over  Browne  and Nolan's  divisional  tables  whereas  she,  of minions'  novence  charily  being  cupid,  for mug's  wumping,  grooser's  grubbiness,  andt's avarice  and  grossopper's  grandegaffe,  with  her tootpettypout  of  jemenfichue  will  sit  and  knit on  solfa  sofa.^  Stew  of  the  evening,  booksyful stew.  And  a  bodikin  a  boss  in  the  Thimble Theatre.  But  all  is  her  inbourne.  Intend.  From gramma's  grammar  she  has  it  that  if  there  is  a third  person,  mascarine,  phelinine  or  nuder, being  spoken  abad  it  moods  prosodes  from  a person  speaking  to  her  second  which  is  the direct  object  that  has  been  spoken  to,  with  and at.  Take  the  dative  with  his  oblative^  for,  even if  obsolete,  it  is  always  of  interest,  so  spake gramma  on  the  impetus  of  her  imperative,  only mind  your  genderous  towards  his  reflexives such  that  I  was  to  your  grappa  (Bott's  trousend, hore  a  man  uffi)  when  him  was  me  hedon® and  mine,  what  the  lewdy  saying,  his  analec- tual  pygmyhop.'  There  is  comfortism  in  the
EARLY NOTIONS  OF ACQUIRED RIGHTS  AND THE  INFLU- ENCE OF COLLECTIVE TRADITION UPON  THE INDIVIDUAL.
^  One  must  sell  it  to  some  one,  the  sacred  name  of  love.
2  Making  it  up  as  we  goes  along.
3  The  law  of  the  jungerl.
*  Let  me  blush  to  think  of  all  those  halfwayhoist  pullovers. ^  I'd  like  his  pink's  cheek.
"  P>ech  devil  in  red  hairing!   So  that's  why  you  ran  away  to  sea,  Mrs Lappy.  Leap  mc,  Locklaun,  for  you  have  sensed ! '  A  washable  lovable  floatable  doll.
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knowledge  that  often  hate  on  first  hearing comes  of  love  by  second  sight.  Have  your little  sintalks  in  the  dunk  of  sub  junctions,  dual in  duel  and  prude  with  pruriel,  but  even  the aoriest  chaparound  whatever  plaudered  perfect anent  prettydotes  and  haec  genua  omnia  may perhaps  chance  to  be  about  to  be  in  the  case  to be  becoming  a  pale  peterwright  in  spite  of  all your  tense  accusatives  whilstly  you're  wall- floored^  like  your  gerandiums  for  the  better half  of  a  yearn  or  sob.  It's  a  wild's  kitten,  my dear,  who  can  tell  a  wilkling  from  a  warthog. For  you  may  be  as  practical  as  is  predicable but  you  must  have  the  proper  sort  of  accident to  meet  that  kind  of  a  being  with  a  difference.^ Flame  at  his  fumbles  but  freeze  on  his  fist.^ Every  letter  is  a  godsend,  ardent  Ares,  brusque Boreas  and  glib  Ganymede  like  zealous  Zeus, the  O'Meghisthest  of  all.  To  me  or  not  to  me. Satis  thy  quest  on.  Werbungsap !  Jeg  suis,  vos JJndante  wore  a  gentleman,  thou  arr,  I  am  a  quean.  Is
mnoroso,  a  game  over?  The  game  goes  on.  Cookcook!
|.M.  50-50.  Search  me.  The  beggar  the  maid  the  bigger
>vK€XaPov  the  mauler.  And  the  greater  the  patrarc  the
griefer  the  pinch.  And  that's  what  your  doctor knows.  O  love  it  is  the  commonknounest  thing how  it  pashes  the  plutous  and  the  paupe.* Pop  I  And  egg  she  active  or  spoon  she  passive, all  them  fine  clauses  in  Lindley's  and  Murrey's never  braught  the  participle  of  a  present  to  a desponent  hortatrixy,  vindicatively  I  say  it.
^  With  her  poodle  feinting  to  be  let  off  and  feeling  dead  in  herself.  Is  love worse  living?
-  If  she  can't  follow  suit  Renee  goes  to  the  pack.
^  Improper  frictions  is  maledictions  and  mens  uration  makes  me  mad. *  Llong  and  Shortts  Primer  of  Black  and  White  Wenchcraft.
269
ril  go  for  that small  polly  if you  II  suck  to your  lebbens- quatsch.
O'MaraFarrelL Verse  hwindibus.
Ulstriay
from  her  postconditional  future.^  Lumpsome is  who  lumpsum  pays.  Quantity  counts  though accents  faker.  Yoking  apart  and  oblique  ora- tions parsed  to  one  side,  a  brat,  alanna,  can choose  from  so  many,  be  he  a  sollicitor's appendix,  a  pipe  clerk  or  free  functionist flyswatter,  that  perfect  little  cad,  from  the languors  and  weakness  of  limberlimbed  lassi- hood  till  the  head,  back  and  heartaches  of waxedup  womanage  and  heaps  on  heaps  of other  things  too.  Note  the  Respectable  Irish Distressed  Ladies  and  the  Merry  Mustard Frothblowers  of  Humphreystown  Associa- tions. Atac  first,  queckqueck  quicks  after. Beware  how  in  that  hist  subtaile  of  schlangder^ lies  liaison  to  tease  oreilles !  To  vert  embowed set  proper  penchant.  But  learn  from  that  ancient tongue  to  be  middle  old  modern  to  the  minute. A  spitter  that  can  be  depended  on.  Though Wonderlawn's  lost  us  for  ever.  Alis,  alas,  she  ! broke  the  glass!  Liddell  lokker  through  the leafery,  ours  is  mistery  of  pain.^  You  may  spin  j on  youthlit^s  bike  and  multiplease  your  Mike and  Nike  with  your  kickshoes  on  the  algebrars but,  volve  the  virgil  page  and  view,  the  O  of woman  is  long  when  burly  those  two  muters sequent  her  so  from  Nebob*  see  you  never stray  who'll  nimm  you  nice  and  nehm  the  day.
One  hath  just  been  areading,  hath  not  one, ya,  ya,  in  their  memoiries  of  Hireling's  puny wars,  end  so,  und  all,  ga,  ga,  of  The  O'Brien,
CONCOMI- TANCE OF COURAGE,
^  The  gaggles  all  out.
2  He's  just  bug  nuts  on  white  mate  he  hasn't  tlie  teath  nor  the  grits  to  choo and  that's  what's  wrong  with  Lang  Wang  Wurm,  old  worbbling  goesbelly.
^  Dear  and  I  trust  in  all  frivolity  I  may  be  pardoned  for  trespassing  but  I think  I  may  add  hell.
He  is  my  all  menkind  of  every  desception.
270
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L
Monastir, Leninstar  and Connecticut.
Cliopatria,  thy hosies  history.
The  Eroico Furioso  makes he  valet  like miling.
I
^he  hyper  ape  the hink  he  groves  the 2oleyou  see  nowfor -ush  sake^  chaw  ley/
The  O'Connor,  The  Mac  Loughlin  and  The Mac  Namara  with  summed  their  appondage, da,  da,  of  Sire  Jeallyous  Seizer,  that  gamely torskmester,^  with  his  duo  of  druidesses  in  ready money  rompers^  and  the  tryonforit  of  Oxthie- vious,  Lapidous  and  Malthouse  Anthemy.  You may  fail  to  see  the  lie  of  that  layout,  Suetonia,^ but  the  reflections  which  recur  to  me  are  that so  long  as  beauty  life  is  body  love^  and  so  bright as  Mutua  of  your  mirror  holds  her  candle  to your  caudle,  lone  lefthand  likeless,  sombring Autum  of  your  Spring,  reck  you  not  one  spirt of  anyseed  whether  trigemelimen  cuddle  his coddle  or  nope.  She'll  confess  it  by  her  figure and  she'll  deny  it  to  your  face.  If  you're  not ruined  by  that  one  she  won't  do  you  any whim.  And  then.^  What  afters  it.'^  Gruff  Gunne may  blow,  Gam  Gonna  flow,  the  gossans  eye the  jennings  aye.  From  the  butts  of  Heber  and Heremon,  nolens  volens^  brood  our  pansies, brune  in  brume.  There's  a  split  in  the  infinitive from  to  have  to  have  been  to  will  be.  As  they warred  in  their  big  innings  ease  now  we  never shall  know.  Eat  early  earthapples.  Coax  Cobra to  chatters.  Hail,  Heva,  we  hear!  This  is  the glider  that  gladdened  the  girl^  that  list  to  the wind  that  lifted  the  leaves  that  folded  the fruit  that  hung  on  the  tree  that  grew  in  the garden  Gough  gave.  Wide  hiss,  we're  wizen-
COUNSEL AND  CON- STANCY. ORDINATION OF  OMEN, ONUS  AND OBIT.  DIS- TRIBUTION OF  DANGER, DUTY  AND DESTINY. POLAR  PRIN- CIPLES.
^  All  his  teeths  back  to  the  front,  then  the  moon  and  then  the  moon  with a  hole  behind  it.
^  Skip  one,  flop  fore,  jennies  in  the  cabbage  store. ^  None  of  your  cumpohlstery  English  here!
*  Understudy  my  understandings,  Sostituda,  and  meek  thine  compline- ment,  gymnufleshed.
^  Tho'  I  have  one  just  like  that  to  home,  deadleaf  brown  with  quicksilver appliques,  would  whollymost  applissiate  a  nice  shiny  sleekysilk  out  of  that slippering  snake  charmeuse.
271
Pige  pas.
Seidliti  powther for  slogan plumpers.
Hoploits  and atthems.
ing.  Hoots  fromm,  we're  globing.  Why  hidest thou  hinder  thy  husband  his  name?  Leda,  Lada,  | aflutter-afraida,  so  does  your  girdle  grow! Willed  without  witting,  whorled  without aimed.  Pappapassos,  Mammamanet,  warwhets- wut  and  whowitswhy.^  But  it's  tails  for toughs  and  titties  for  totties  and  come buckets  come  bats  till  deeleet.^
Dark  ages  clasp  the  daisy  roots,  Stop,  if  you are  a  sally  of  the  allies,  hot  off  Minnowaurs and  naval  actiums,  picked  engagements  and banks  of  rowers.  Please  stop  if  you're  a B.C.  minding  missy,  please  do.  But  should you  prefer  A.D.  stepplease.  And  if  you  miss with  a  venture  it  serves  you  girly  well  glad. But,  holy  Janus,  I  was  forgetting  the  Blitzen- kopfs!  Here,  Hengegst  and  Horsesauce,  take your  heads^  out  of  that  taletub!  And  leave your  hinnyhennyhindyou !  It's  haunted.  The chamber.  Of  errings.  Whoan,  tug,  trace, stirrup!  It  is  distinctly  understouttered  that, sense  you  threehandshighs  put  your  twofoot- large  timepates  in  that  dead  wash  of  Lough Murph  and  until  such  time  pace  one  and  the same  Messherrn  the  grinning  statesmen.  Brock and  Leon,  have  shunted  the  grumbling coundedtouts,  Starlin  and  Ser  Artur  Ghinis. Foamous  homely  brew,  bebattled  by  bottle, gageure  de  guegerre.*  Bull  igien  bear  and then  bearagain  bulligan.  Gringrin  gringrin. Staffs  varsus  herds  and  bucks  vursus  barks.
PANOPTICAL PURVIEW  OF POLITICAL PROGRESS AND  THE FUTURE  PRE- SENTATION OF  THE  PAST.
'  What's  that,  ma'am?  says  I.
2  As  you  say  yourself.
^  That's  the  lethemuse  but  it  washes  off.
*  Where  he  fought  the  shessock  of  his  stimmstammer  and  we  caught  the pepettes  of  our  lovelives.
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Curragh machree,  me bosthoon  fiend,
Femilies  hug hank!
'  All  we  suffered under  them  Cow- dung  Forks  and how  we  enjoyed over  our  pick  of the  hasketfild. Old  Kirns Meat  Meal
Fliefliefor  the jillies  and  a bombambum for  the
nappotondus.
\
By  old  Grumbledum's  walls.  Bumps,  bellows and  bawls.^  Opprimor's  down,  up  up  Opima! Rents  and  rates  and  tithes  and  taxes,  wages, saves  and  spends.  Heil,  heptarched  span  of peace  1^  Live,  league  of  lex,  nex  and  the  mores! Fas  est  dass  and  foe  err  you.  Impovernment of  the  booble  by  the  bauble  for  the  bubble.  So wrap  up  your  worries  in  your  woe  (wumpum- tum!)  and  shake  down  the  shuffle  for  the throw.  For  there's  one  mere  ope^  for  down- fall ned.  As  Hanah  Levy,  shrewd  shroplifter, and  nievre  anore  skidoos  with  her  spoileds.* To  add  gay  touches.  For  hugh  and  guy  and goy  and  jew.  To  dimpled  and  pimpled  and simpled  and  wimpled.  A  peak  in  a  poke  and  a pig  in  a  pew.^  She  wins  them  by  wons,  a  haul hectoendecate,  forjmangay  mumbo  jumbjubes tak  mutts  and  jeffs  muchas  bracelonettes gracies  barcelonas.^  O  what  a  loovely  free- speech  'twas  (tep)'  to  gar  howalively  hinter- grunting!  Tip.  Like  lilt  of  larks  to  burdened crocodile,^  or  skittering  laubhing  at  that wheeze  of  old  windbag,  Blusterboss,  blow- harding  about  all  he  didn't  do.  Hell  o'  your troop!  With  is  the  winker  for  the  muckwits of  willesly  and  nith  is  the  nod  for  the  umproar napollyon  and  hitheris  poorblond  piebold hoerse.  Huirse.  With  its  tricuspidal  hauberk-
^  Shake  eternity  and  lick  creation. ^  I'm  blest  if  I  can  see.
^  Hoppity  Huhneye,  hoosh  the  hen.  I  like  cluckers,  you  like  nuts  (wink). *  Sweet,  medium  and  dry  like  altar  wine. ^  Who'll  buy  me  penny  babies?
®  Well,  Maggy,  I  got  your  castoff  devils  all  right  and  fits  lovely.  And  am vaguely  graceful.  Maggy  dianks. '  My  six  is  no  secret,  sir,  she  said.
®  Yes,  there,  Tad,  thanks,  give,  from,  tathair,  look  at  that  now.
273
Murdoch.
Pas  ci*action, peu  de  sauce.
From  the  seven tents  of  Joseph till  the  calends  oj Mary  Marian, olivehunkered and  thorny  too.
As  Shakefork might  pitch  it.
helm  coverchaf  emblem  on.  For  the  man  that broke  the  ranks  on  Monte  Sin j  on.  The  all- riddle  of  it?  That  that  is  allruddy  with  us, ahead  of  schedule,  which  already  is  plan  accom- plished from  and  syne:  Daft  Dathy  of  the  Five Positions  (the  death  ray  stop  him!)  is  still,  as reproaches  Paulus,  on  the  Madderhorn  and, entre  chats  and  hobnobs,^  daring  Dunderhead to  shiver  his  timbers  and  Hannibal  mac  Hamil- tan  the  Hegerite^  (more  livepower  elbow  him !) ministerbuilding  up,  as  repreaches  Timothy, in  Saint  Barmabrac's.^  Number  Thirty  two West  Eleventh  streak  looks  on  to  that  (may all  in  the  tocoming  of  the  sempereternal  speel spry  with  it!)  datetree  doloriferous  which more  and  over  leafeth  earlier  than  every growth  and,  elfshot,  headawag,  with  frayed nerves  wondering  till  they  feeled  sore  like  any woman  that  has  been  born  at  all  events  to  the purdah  and  for  the  howmanyeth  and  how- movingth  time  at  what  the  demons  in  that jackhouse  that  jerry  built  for  Massa  and  Missus and  hijo  de  puta,  the  sparksown  fermament  of the  starryk  fieldgosongingon  where  blows a  nemone  at  each  blink  of  windstilH  they were  sliding  along  and  sleeting  aloof  and scouting  around  and  shooting  about.  All- whichwhile  or  whereaballoons  for  good vaunty  years  Dagobert  is  in  Clane's  clean hometown  prepping  up  his  prepueratory and  learning  how  to  put  a  broad  face  bronzily out  through  a  broken  breached  meataerial
'  Go  up  quick,  stay  so  long,  come  down  slow!
2  If  I  gnows  me  gneesgnobs  the  both  of  him  is  gnatives  of  Genuas.
^  A  glass  of  peel  and  pip  for  Mr  Potter  of  Texas,  please.
^  All  the  world  loves  a  big  gleaming  jelly.
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,1 h
I  smell  a  cat.
\Two  makes  a wing  at  the  ma- croscope telluspeep.
From  the  Buffalo Times  of  bysone days.
yuick  quake uokes  the  par- otbook  of  dates.
from  Bryan  Awlining!  Erin's  hircohaired culoteer.^
And  as,  these  things  being  so  or  ere  those things  having  done,  way  back  home  in  Pacata Auburnia,2  (untillably  holy  gammel  Eire)  one world  burrowing  on  another,  (if  youVe  got me,  neighbour,  in  any  large  lumps,  geek?,  and got  the  strong  of  it)  Standfest,  our  topiocal sagon  hero,  or  any  otther  macotther,  signs  is on  the  bellyguds  bastille  back,  bucked  up  with fullness,  and  silvering  to  her  jubilee,^  birch- leaves  her  jointure,  our  lavy  in  waving,  visage full  of  flesh  and  fat  as  a  hen's  i'  forehead, Airyanna  and  Blowyhart  topsirturvy,  that royal  pair  in  their  palace  of  quicken  boughs hight  The  Goat  and  Compasses  ('phone number  17:69,  if  you  want  to  know^)  his  sea- arm  strongsround  her,  her  velivole  eyne  aship- wracked,  have  discusst  their  things  of  the past,  crime  and  fable  with  shame,  home  and profit,^  why  lui  lied  to  lei  and  hun  tried  to  kill ham,  scribbledehobbles,  in  whose  veins  runs a  mixture  of,  are  head  bent  and  hard  upon. Spell  me  the  chimes.  They  are  tales  all  tolled.* Today  is  well  thine  but  where's  may  tomorrow be.  But,  bless  his  cowly  head  and  press  his crankly  hat,  what  a  world's  woe  is  each's
FROM  CENG- GENETIC  DI- CHOTOMY THROUGH DIAGONISTIC CONCILI- ANCE  TO DYNASTIC CONTINU- ITY.
^  A  pengeneepy  for  your  warcheekeepy.
2  My  globe  goes  gaddy  at  geography  giggle  pending  which  time  I  was looking  for  my  shoe  all  through  Arabia.
^  It  must  be  some  bugbear  in  the  gender  especially  when  old  which  they all  soon  get  to  look.
*  After  me  looking  up  the  plan  in  Humphrey's  Justice  of  the  Piece  it  said  to see  preseeding  chaps.
^  O  boyjones  and  hairyoddities !  Only  noane  told  missus  of  her  massas behaving  she  would  laugh  that  flat  that  after  that  she  had  sanked  down  on  her fat  arks  they  would  shaik  all  to  sheeks.
®  Traduced  into  jinglish  janglage  for  the  nusances  of  dolphins  bom.
275
Some  is  out  for twoheaded  dul- carnons  but  more pulfers  turnips.
Omnitudes  in  a hnutshedelL
For  all  us  kids under  his  aegis.
Saving  the  public his  health.
Superlative  abso- lute of  Porter- stown.
other's  weariness  waiting  to  beadroll  his  own properer  mistakes,  the  backslapping  glad- hander,^  free  of  his  florid  future  and  the  other singing  likeness,  dirging  a  past  of  bloody  altars, gale  with  a  blost  to  him,  dove  without  gall. And  she,  of  the  jilldaw's  nest^  who  tears  up lettereens  she  never  apposed  a  pen  upon.^  Yet sung  of  love  and  the  monster  man.  What's Hiccupper  to  hem  or  her  to  Hagaba?  Ough, ough,  brieve  kindli!*
Dogs'  vespers  are  anending.  Vespertilia- bitur.  Goteshoppard  quits  his  gabhard  cloke to  sate  with  Becchus.  Zumbock!  Achevre! Yet  wind  will  be  ere  fadervor^  and  the  hour  of fruminy  and  bergoo  bell  if  Nippon  have  pearls or  opals  Eldorado,  the  daindy  dish,  the  leaking out!  Gipoo,  good  oil!  For  (hushmagandy!) long  'tis  till  gets  bright  that  all  cocks  waken and  birds  Diana^  with  dawnsong  hail.  Aught darks  flou  a  duskness.  Bats  that?  There  peepee- strilling.  At  Brannan's  on  the  moor.  At  Tam Fanagan's  weak  yat  his  still's  going  Strang. And  still  here  is  noctules  and  can  tell  things acommon  on  by  that  fluffy  feeling.  Larges loomy  wheelhouse  to  bodgbox*^  lumber  up with  hoodie  hearsemen  carrawain  we  keep is   peace    who   follow    his   law,  Sunday
THE  MON- GREL UNDER THE  DUNG- MOUND. SIGNIFI- CANCE OF THE INFRA- LIMINAL  IN- TELLIGENCE. OFFRANDES.
^  He  gives  me  pulpititions  with  his  Castlecowards  never  in  these  twowsers and  ever  in  those  twawsers  and  then  babeteasing  us  out  of  our  hoydenname.
2  My  goldfashioned  bother  near  drave  me  roven  mad  and  I  dyeing  to keep  my  linefree  face  like  readymaid  maryangs  for  jollycomes  smashing Holmes.
^  What  I  would  like  is  a  jade  louistone  to  go  with  the  moon's  increscent.
*  Parley  vows  the  Askinwhose?  I  do,  Ida.  And  how  to  call  the  catde  black. Moopetsi  meepotsi.
^  I  was  so  snug  off  in  my  apholster's  creedle  but  at  long  leash  I'll  stretch more  capritious  in  his  dapplepied  bed.
•  Pipette.  I  can  almost  feed  their  sweemess  at  my  lisplips. '  A  liss  in  hunterland.
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t
Why  so  mucky pick  bridges pan  our  Flumi- \ian  road,
^.C.  Helmut's  in he  Cottonwood, Istnin,
The  throne  is  an mhrella  strande nd  a  sceptre  s  a tick,
'ady  jewel y  our 'aktar  deer,
rautamed  bud- \ers  deossiphys- ig  our  Theas,
y  lineal  in  pon- is  overthepoise.
King.i  His  sevencoloured's  soot  (Ochone! Ochonal!)^  and  his  imponence  one  heap  lump- block  (Mogoul!).  And  rivers  burst  out  like weeming  racesround  joy  drinks  for  the  fewnral- ly,^  where  every  feaster's  a  Foster's  other,  fian- nians  all.*  The  wellingbreast,  he  willing  giant, the  mountain  mourning  his  duggedy  dew.  To obedient  of  civicity  in  urbanious  at  felicity what'U  yet  meek  Mike^  our  diputy  mimber  when he's  head  on  poll  and  Peter's  burgess  and  Miss Mishy  Mushy  is  tiptupt  by  Toft  Taft.  Boblesse gobleege.  For  as  Anna  was  at  the  beginning lives  yet  and  will  return  after  great  deap  sleap rerising  and  a  white  night  high  with  a  cows  of Drommhiem  as  shower  as  there's  a  wet  en- clouded  in  Westwicklow  or  a  little  black  rose  a truant  in  a  thorntree.  We  drames  our  dreams tell  Bappy  returns.  And  Sein  annews.  We  will not  say  it  shall  not  be,  this  passing  of  order  and order's  coming,  but  in  the  herbest  country  and in  the  country  around  Blath  as  in  that  city  self of  legionds  they  look  for  its  being  ever  yet.  So shuttle  the  pipers  done.^  Eric  aboy!^  And  it's time  that  all  paid  tribute  to  this  massive  mor- tiality,  the  pink  of  punk  perfection  as  photo- graphy in  mud.  Some  may  seek  to  dodge  the
^  I  wonder  if  I  put  the  old  buzzerd  one  night  to  suckle  in  Millickmaam's honey  like  they  use  to  emballem  some  of  the  special  popes  with  a  book  in  his hand  and  his  mouth  open.
^  And  a  ripping  rude  rape  in  his  lucreasious  togery.
^  Will  ye  nought  would  wet  your  weapons,  warriors  bard?
*  Roe,  Williams,  Bewey,  Greene,  Gorham,  McEndicoth  and  Vyler,  the lays  of  ancient  homes.
^  The  stanidsglass  effect,  you  could  sugerly  swear  buttermilt  would  not melt  down  his  dripping  ducks.
^  Thickathigh  and  Thinathews  with  sant  their  dam.
'  Oh,  could  we  do  with  this  waddled  of  ours  like  that  redbanked  profanian with  his  bakset  of  yosters.
277
Pitchcap  and triangle^  noose and  tinctunc.
Uncle  Flahbius Muximus  to Niecia  Flappia Minnimiss,  As this  is.  And  as this  this  is.
Dear  Brotus, land  me  arrears.
Rockahyy  bahel^ flatten  a  wall.
How  he  broke  the good  news  to Gent,
gobbet  for  its  quantity  of  quality  but  who wants  to  cheat  the  choker's  got  to  learn  to chew  the  cud.  Allwhichhole  scrubs  on  scroll circuminiuminluminatedhave  encuoniams  here and  improperies  there.^  With  a  pansy  for  the pussy  in  the  corner.^
Bewise  of  Fanciulla's  heart,  the  heart  of Fanciulla!  Even  the  recollection  of  willow fronds  is  a  spellbinder  that  lets  to  hear.^  The rushes  by  the  grey  nuns'  pond:  ah  eh  oh  let me  sigh  too.  Coalmansbell:  behoves  you handmake  of  the  load.  Jenny  Wren:  pick,  peck. Johnny  Post:  pack,  puck.*  All  the  world's  in want  and  is  writing  a  letters.^  A  letters  from  a person  to  a  place  about  a  thing.  And  all  the world's  on  wish  to  be  carrying  a  letters.  A  let- ters to  a  king  about  a  treasure  from  a  cat.* When  men  want  to  write  a  letters.  Ten  men, ton  men,  pen  men,  pun  men,  wont  to  rise  a ladder.  And  den  men,  dun  men,  fen  men,  fun men,  hen  men,  hun  men  wend  to  raze  a  leader. Is  then  any  lettersday  from  many  peoples, Daganasanavitch?  Empire,  your  outermost.' A  posy  cord.  Piece.
We  have  wounded  our  way  on  foe  tris prince  till  that  force  in  the  gill  is  faint  afarred
INCIPIT  IN- TERMISSIO.
MAJOR  AND MINOR
^  Gosem  pher,  gezumpher,  greeze  a  jarry  grim  felon!  Good  bloke  him!
^  And  if  they  was  setting  on  your  stool  as  hard  as  my  was  she  could  beth her  bothom  dolours  he'd  have  a  culious  impressiom  on  the  diminitive  that chafes  our  ends.
^  When  Tarn  Enastella  and  am  taken  for  Essastessa  I'll  do  that  droop  on  the pohlmann's  piano.
*  Heavenly  twinges,  if  it's  one  of  his  I'll  fearly  feint  as  swoon  as  he  enter- rooms.
^  To  be  slipped  on,  to  be  slept  by,  to  be  conned  to,  to  be  kept  up.  And  when you're  done  push  the  chain. ®  With  her  modesties  office.
'  Strutting  as  proud  as  a  great  turquin  weggin  that  cuckhold  on  his  Eddems and  Clay's  hat.
278
and  the  face  in  the  treebark  feigns  afear.  This is  rainstones  ringing.  Strangely  cuh  for  this ceasing  of  the  yore.  But  Erigureen  is  ever. Pot  price  pon  patrilinear  plop,  if  the  osseletion of  the  onkring  gives  omen  nome.'^  Since  alls war  that  end  war  let  sports  be  leisure  and bring  and  buy  fair.  Ah  ah  athclete,  blest  your bally  bathfeet!  Towntoquest,  fortorest,  the hour  that  hies  is  hurley.  A  halt  for  hearsake.^
^  Come,  smooth  of  my  slate,  to  the  beat  of  my  blosh!  With  all  these  gelded ewes  jilting  about  and  the  thrills  and  ills  of  laylock  blossoms  three's  so  much more  plants  than  chants  for  cecilies  that  I  was  thinking  fairly  killing  times  of putting  an  end  to  myself  and  my  malody,  when  I  remembered  all  your  pupil- teacher's  erringnesses  in  perfection  class.  You  sh'undn't  write  you  can't  if  you w'udn't  pass  for  undevelopmented.  This  is  the  propper  way  to  say  that,  Sr.  If it's  me  chews  to  swallow  all  you  saidn't  you  can  eat  my  words  for  it  as  sure  as there's  a  key  in  my  kiss.  Quick  erit  faciofacey.  When  we  will  conjugate  to- gether toloseher  tomaster  tomiss  while  morrow  fans  amare  hour,  verbe  de  vie and  verve  to  vie,  with  love  ay  loved  have  I  on  my  back  spine  and  does  for ever.  Your  are  me  severe?  Then  rue.  My  intended,  Jr,  who  I'm  throne  away on,  (here  he  inst,  my  lifstack,  a  newfolly  likon)  when  I  slip  through  my  pettigo I'll  get  my  decree  and  take  seidens  when  I'm  not  ploughed  first  by  some Rolando  the  Lasso,  and  flaunt  on  the  flimsyfilmsies  for  to  grig  my  collage juniorees  who,  though  they  flush  fuchsia,  are  they  octette  and  viginity  in  my shade  but  always  my  figurants.  They  may  be  yea  of  my  year  but  they're  nary nay  of  my  day.  Wait  till  spring  has  sprung  in  spickness  and  prigs  beg  in  to  pry they'll  be  plentyprime  of  housepets  to  pimp  and  pamper  my.  Impending  mar- riage. Nature  tells  everybody  about  but  I  learned  all  the  runes  of  the  gamest game  ever  from  my  old  nourse  Asa.  A  most  adventuring  trot  is  her  and  she vicking  well  knowed  them  all  heartswise  and  fourwords.  How  Olive  d'Oyly and  Winnie  Carr,  bejupers,  they  reized  the  dressing  of  a  salandmon  and  how  a peeper  coster  and  a  salt  sailor  med  a  mustied  poet  atwaimen.  It  most  have bean  Mad  Mullans  planted  him.  Bina  de  Bisse  and  Trestrine  von  Terrefin. Sago  sound,  rite  go  round,  kill  kackle,  kook  kettle  and  (remember  all  should I  forget  to)  bolt  the  thor.  Auden.  Wasn't  it  just  divining  that  dog  of  a  dag in  Skokholme  as  I  sat  astrid  uppum  their  Drewitt's  altar,  as  cooledas  as  cul- cumbre,  slapping  my  straights  till  the  sloping  ruins,  postillion,  postallion,  a swinge  a  swank,  with  you  offering  me  clouts  of  illscents  and  them  horners stagstruck  on  the  leasward!  Don't  be  of  red,  you  blanching  mench!  This Isabella  I'm  on  knows  the  ruelles  of  the  rut  and  she  don't  fear  andy  mandy.  So sing  loud,  sweet  cheeriot,  like  anegreon  in  heaven !  The  good  fother  with  the twingling  in  his  eye  will  always  have  cakes  in  his  pocket  to  bethroat  us  with for  our  allmichael  good.  Amum.  Amum.  And  Amum  again.  For  tough  troth is  stronger  than  fortuitous  fiction  and  it's  the  surplice  money,  oh  my  young friend  and  ah  me  sweet  creature,  what  buys  the  bed  while  wits  borrows  the clothes.
MODES  COA- LESCING PROLIFER- ATE HOMO- GENUINE HOMOGEN- EITY.
279
Bihelous  hies- wry  and  Barbar- assa  harestary.
A  shieling  in  cop^ fingers  and  por- rish  soup  all  days.
How  matches metroosers?
Le  helos  tombaut soul  sur  la  jambe de  marche.
A  scene  at  sight.  Or  dreamoneire.  Which they  shall  memorise.  By  her  freewritten Hopely  for  ear  that  annalykeses  if  scares  for eye  that  sumns.  Is  it  in  the  now  woodwordings of  our  sweet  plantation  where  the  branchings then  will  singingsing  tomorrows  gone  and yesters  outcome  as  Satadays  aftermoon  lex leap  smiles  on  the  twelvemonthsminding? Such  is.  Dear  (name  of  desired  subject,  A.N.), well,  and  I  go  on  to.  Shlicksher.  I  and  we (tender  condolences  for  happy  funeral,  one if)  so  sorry  to  (mention  person  suppressed  for the  moment,  F.M.).  Well  (enquiries  after  all- healths)  how  are  you  (question  maggy).  A lovely  (introduce  to  domestic  circles)  pershan of  cates.  Shrubsher.  Those  pothooks  mostly she  hawks  from  Poppa  Vere  Foster  but  these curly  mequeues  are  of  Mippa's  moulding. Shrubsheruthr.  (Wave  gently  in  the  ere  turn- ing ptover.)  Well,  mabby  (consolation  of shopes)  to  soon  air.  With  best  from  cinder Christinette  if  prints  chumming,  can  be  when desires  Soldi,  for  asamples,  backfronted  or, if  all,  peethrolio  or  Get  my  Prize,  using  her flower  or  perfume  or,  if  veryveryvery  chum- ming, in  otherwards,  who  she  supposed  adeal, kissists  my  exits.  Shlicksheruthr.  From  Auburn chenlemagne.  Pious  and  pure  fair  one,  all  has concomitated  to  this  that  she  shall  tread  them lifetrees  leaves  whose  silence  hitherto  has shone  as  sphere  of  silver  fastalbarnstone,  that fount  Bandusian  shall  play  liquick  music  and after  odours  sigh  of  musk.  Blotsbloshblothe, one  dear  that  was.  Sleep  in  the  water,  drug  at the  fire,  shake  the  dust  off  and  dream  your  one who  would  give  her  sidecurls  to.  Till  later
280
Mai  maintenante lie  est  venuse.
Twos  Dons  Johns ^hrees  Tony iskins.
ilso  Spuke erothruster.
saxum  shillum )r  the  sextum It  nothums  for lat  parridge
east.
Lammas  is  led  in  by  baith  our  washwives,  a weird  of  wonder  tenebrous  as  that  evil  thorn- garth,  a  field  of  faery  blithe  as  this  flowing  wild.
Aujourd'hui  comme  aux  temps  de  Pline  et  de Columelle  la  jacinthe  se  plait  dans  les  Gaules, la  pervenche  en  Illyrie,  la  marguerite  sur  les mines  de  Numance^  et  pendant  quautour  d'elles les  villes  ont  changi  de  maitres  et  de  noms,  que plusieurs  sont  entrees  dans  le  neanty  que  les civilisations  se  sont  choquees  et  brisees^  leurs paisihles  generations  ont  traversi  les  ages  et  sont arrivees  jusqua  nous,  fraiches  et  riantes  comme aux  jours  des  batailles,^
Margaritomancy!  Hyacinthinous  pervinci- veness!  Flowers.  A  cloud.  But  Bruto  and Cassio  are  ware  only  of  trifid  tongues^  the whispered  wilfulness,  ('tis  demonal!)  and  sha- dows shadows  multiplicating  (il  folsoletto  nel falsoletto  col  fazzolotto  dal  fuzzolezzo),*  to- tients  quotients,  they  tackle  their  quarrel.  Sicka- moor's  so  woful  sally.  Ancient's  aerger.  And eachway  bothwise  glory  signs.  What  if  she love  Sieger  less  though  she  leave  Ruhm  moan? That's  how  our  oxyggent  has  gotten  ahold  of half  their  world.  Moving  about  in  the  free  of the  air  and  mixing  with  the  ruck.  Enten  eller, either  or.
And!
Nay,  rather!
THE  PART PLAYED  BY BELLETRI- STICKS IN THE  BELLUM- PAX-BEL- LUM.
MUTUOMOR-
PHOMUTA-
TION.
SORTES VIR- GINIANAE.
INTERROGATION. EXCLAMATION.
^  The  nasal  foss  of  our  natal  folkfarthers  so  so  much  now  for  Valsing- giddyrex  and  his  grand  arks  day  triump.
2  Translout  that  gaswind  into  turfish,  Teague,  that's  a  good  bog  and  you, Thady,  poliss  it  off,  there's  a  nateswipe,  on  to  your  blottom  pulper.
^  You  daredevil  donnelly,  I  love  your  piercing  lots  of  lies  and  your  flashy foreign  mail  so  here's  my  cowrie  card,  I  dalgo,  with  all  my  exes,  wise  and  sad.
*  All  this  Mitchells  is  a  niggar  for  spending  and  I  will  go  to  the  length  of seeing  that  one  day  Big  Mig  will  be  nickleless  himself.
281
Tricks  stunts.
Truckeys  cant for  dactyl  and spondee.
Panoplous  pere- grine pifflicative pomposity.
ITS  GIVE  AND  TAKE.
AUSPICIUM. AUGURIA. DIVINITY NOT  DEITY THE  UNCER- TAINTY JUS- TIFIED BY OUR  CERTI- TUDE. EXAMPLES.
With  sobs  for  his  job,  with  tears  antithesis  of  ambi- for  his  toil,  with  horror  for  his  squalor  dual  anticipation. but  with  pep  for  his  perdition,^  lo,  the  ^he  mind  factory, boor  plieth  as  the  laird  hireth  him. Boon  on  begyndelse. At  maturing  daily  gloryaims!^ A  flink  dab  for  a  freck  dive  and  a  stern  poise for  a  swift  pounce  was  frankily  at  the  manual arith  sure  enough  which  was  the  bekase  he knowed  from  his  cradle,  no  bird  better,  why his  fingures  were  giving  him  whatfor  to  fife with.  First,  by  observation,  there  came  boko and  nigh  him  wigworms  and  nigh  him  tittlies and  nigh  him  cheekadeekchimple  and  nigh him  pickpocket  with  pickpocketpumb,  pick- pocketpoint,  pickpocketprod,  pickpocket- promise  and  upwithem.  Holy  Joe  in  lay Eden.^  And  anyhows  always  after  them  the dimpler  he  weighed  the  fonder  fell  he  of  his null  four  lovedroyd  curdinals,  his  element  cur- dinal  numen  and  his  enement  curdinal  marryng and  his  epulent  curdinal  weisswassh  and  his eminent  curdinal  Kay  O'Kay.  Always  would he  be  reciting  of  them,  hoojahs  koojahs,  up  by rota,  in  his  Fanden's  catachysm  from  fursed  to laced,  quickmarch  to  decemvers,  so  as  to  pin  the tenners,  thumbs  down.  And  anon  and  aldays, strues  yerthere,  would  he  wile  arecreating  em om  lumerous  ways,  caiuscounting  in  the scale  of  pin  puff  pive  piff,  piff  puff  pive  poo, poo  puff  pive  pree,  pree  puff  pive  pfoor,  pfoor puff  pive  pippive,  poopive,*   Niall  Dhu,
^  Wliile  I'll  wind  the  wildwoods'  bluckbells  among  my  window's  weeds.
Lawdy  Dawdy  Simpers. ^  But  where,  O  where,  is  me  lickle  dig  done?
*  That's  his  whisper  waltz  I  like  from  Pigott's  with  that  Lancydancy  step. Stop.
282
i 
Non  plus  ulstra, Elba,  neCy  c  as  hel- ium tuum.
Dondderwedder KyhoshicksaL
Foughty  Unn,  Enoch  Thortig,  endso  one,  like to  pitch  of  your  cap,  pac,  on  to  tin  tall  spilli- cans.^  To  sum,  borus  pew  notus  pew  eurus pew  zipher.  Ace,  deuce,  tricks,  quarts,  quims. Mumtiplay  of  course  and  carry  to  their  whole number.  While  on  the  other  hand,  traduced by  their  comedy  nominator  to  the  loaferst terms  for  their  aloquent  parts,  sexes,  suppers, oglers,  novels  and  dice.^  He  could  find  (the rakehelly!)  by  practice  the  valuse  of  thine-to- mine  articles  with  no  reminder  for  an  equality of  relations  and,  with  the  helpings  from  his tables,  improduce  fullmin  to  trumblers,  links unto  chains,  weys  in  Nuffolk  till  tods  of Yorek,  oozies  ad  libs  and  several  townsends, several  hundreds,  civil-to-civil  imperious gallants  into  gells  (Irish),  bringing  alliving stone  allaughing  down  to  grave  clothnails  and a  league  of  archers,  fools  and  lurchers  under the  rude  rule  of  fumb.  What  signifieth  whole that^  but,  be  all  the  prowess  of  ten,  'tis  as strange  to  relate  he,  nonparile  to  rede,  rite  and reckan,  caught  allmeals  duUmarks  for  his nucleuds  and  alegobrew.  They  wouldn't  took bearings  no  how  anywheres.  O  them  dodd- hunters  and  allanights,  aabs  and  baas  for agnomes,  yees  and  zees  for  incognits,  bate him  up  jerrybly!  Worse  nor  herman  doror- rhea.  Give  you  the  fantods,  seemed  to  him. They  ought  to  told  you  every  last  word  first stead  of  trying  every  which  way  to  kinder smear  it  out  poison  long.  Show  that  the
^  Twelve  buttles  man,  twentyeight  bows  of  curls,  forty  bonnets  woman and  ever  youthfully  yours  makes  alleven  add  the  hundred.
2  Gamester  Damester  in  the  road  to  Rouen  he  grows  more  like  his  deed every  die.
^  Slash-the-Pill  lifts  the  pellet.  Run,  Phoenix,  run!
283
J
A  stodge  An- gleshman  has been  worked  by eccentricity.
An  oxygon  is  na- turally reclined to  rest.
Ba  be  bi  bo  bum.
median,  hce  che  ech,  interecting  at  royde angles  the  parilegs  of  a  given  obtuse  one  bis- cuts  both  the  arcs  that  are  in  curveachord behind.  Brickbaths.  The  family  umbroglia. A  Tullagrove  pole^  to  the  Height  of  County Fearmanagh  has  a  septain  inclinaison^  and  the graphplot  for  all  the  functions  in  Lower County  Monachan,  whereat  samething  is  rivi- sible  by  nighttim,  may  be  invoked  into  the zeroic  couplet,  palls  pell  inhis  heventh  glike noughty  times  oo,  find,  if  you  are  not  literally cooefficient,  how  minney  combinaisies  and  per- mutandies  can  be  played  on  the  international surd!  pthwndxrclzp!,  bids  cubid  rute  being extructed,  taking  anan  illitterettes,ififif  at  a  tom. Answers,  (for  teasers  only).^  Ten,  twent,  thirt, see,  ex  and  three  icky  totchty  ones.  From solation  to  solution.  Imagine  the  twelve deaferended  dumbbawls  of  the  whowl  above- beugled  to  be  the  contonuation  through regeneration  of  the  urutteration  of  the  word in  pregross.  It  follows  that,  if  the  two  ante- sedents  be  bissyclitties  and  the  three  come- seekwenchers  trundletrikes,  then,  Aysha  Lali- pat  behidden  on  the  footplate,  Big  Whiggler* restant  upsittuponable,  the  nCr^  presents  to us  (tandem  year  at  lasted  length!)  an  otto- mantic  turquo-indaco  of  pictorial  shine  by pictorial  shimmer  so  long  as,  gad  of  the  gidday, pictorial  summer,  viridorefulvid,  lits  asheen,
^  Dideney,  Dadeney,  Dudeney,  O,  I'd  know  that  putch  on  your  poll. 2  That  is  tottinghim  in  his  boots.
^  Come  all  ye  hapney  coachers  and  support  the  richview  press.
*  Braham  Baruch  he  married  his  cook  to  Massach  McKraw  her  uncle-in- law  who  wedded  his  widow  to  Hjalmar  Kjaer  who  adapted  his  daughter  to Braham  the  Bear.  V  for  wadlock,  P  for  shift,  H  for  Lona  the  Konkubine.
*  A  gee  is  just  a  jay  on  the  jaunts  cowsway.
284
Finnfinnotus  of
.incinnatu
nirthurgink' s
lussies  and ^verguins  men.
Jomdenombres/ 'he  balbearians.
but  (lenz  alack  lends  a  lot),  if  this  habby  cyclic erdor  be  outraciously  enviolated  by  a  mierelin roundtableturning,  like  knuts  in  maze,  the  zitas runnind  hare  and  dart^  with  the  yeggs  in their  muddle,  like  a  seven  of  wingless  arrows, hodgepadge,  thump,  kick  and  hurry,  all  boy more  missis  blong  him  he  race  quickfeller  all same  hogglepiggle  longer  house  blong  him,^ while  the  catched  and  dodged  exarx  seems himmulteemiously  to  beem  (he  wins  her  hend! he  falls  to  tail!)  the  ersed  ladest  mand^  and (uhu  and  uhud!)  the  losed  farce  on  erro- roots,*  twalegged  poneys  and  threehandled dorkeys  (madahoy,  morahoy,  lugahoy,  jog- ahoyaway)  mPm  brings  us  a  rainborne  pamto- momiom,  aqualavant  to  (cat  my  dogs,  if  I baint  dingbushed  like  everything!)  kaksitoista volts  yksitoista  volts  kymmenen  volts  yhdek- san  volts  kahdeksan  volts  seitseman  volts  kuusi volts  viisi  volts  nelja  volts  kolme  volts  kaksi volts  yksi!allahthallacamellated,  caravan  series to  the  finish  of  helve's  fractures.^  In  outher wards,  one  from  five,  two  to  fives  ones,  one from  fives  two  millamills  with  a  mill  and  a half  a  mill  and  twos  twos  fives  fives  of  bully clavers.  For  a  surview  over  all  the  factionables see  Iris  in  the  Evenine's  World.^  Binomeans to  be  comprendered.  Inexcessible  as  thy  by god  ways.  The  aximones.  And  their  prosta-
^  Talking  about  trilbits.
^  Barneycorrall,  a  precedent  for  the  prodection  of  curiosity  from  children. ^  A  pfurty  pscore  of  ruderic  rossies  haremhorde  for  his  divelsion.
*  Look  at  your  mad  father  on  his  boneshaker  fraywhaling  round  Myriom square.
^  Try  Asia  for  the  assphalt  body  with  the  concreke  soul  and  the  forequarters of  the  moon  behinding  out  of  his  phase.
*  Tomatoes  malmalaid  with  De  Quinceys  salade  can  be  tastily  served  with Indiana  Blues  on  the  violens.
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Vive  Paco Hunter/
The  hoisted  in red  and  the  low- ered in  black.
The  boss's  bess bass  is  the  browd of  Mullingar.
OF  COM- MONEST EX- PERIENCES BEFORE  APO- THEOSIS OF THE  LUSTRAL PRINCIPIUM.
The  aliments  of jiimeantry.
lutes.  For  his  neuralgiabrown. Equal  to  =  aosch.
P.t.l.O.a.t.O.  HEPTAGRAMMATON.
So,  bagdad,  after  those  initials  falls  and  that  hypotheses primary  taincture,  as  I  know  and  you  know yourself,  begath,  and  the  arab  in  the  ghetto knows  better,  by  nettus,  nor  anymeade  or persan,  comic  cuts  and  series  exerxeses  always were  to  be  capered  in  Casey's  frost  book  of, page  torn  on  dirty,  to  be  hacked  at  Hickey's, hucksler,  Wellington's  Iron  Bridge,  and  so,  by long  last,  as  it  would  shuffle  out,  must  he  to trump  adieu  atout  atous  to  those  cardinhands he  a  big  deal  missed,  radmachrees  and  rosse- cullinans  and  blagpikes  in  suitclover.  Dear hearts  of  my  counting,  would  he  revoke  them, forewheel  to  packnumbers,  and,  the  time  being no  help  fort,  plates  to  lick  one  and  turn  over.
Problem  ye  ferst,  construct  ann  aquilittoral dryankle  Probe  loom !  With  his  primal  hand- stoe  in  his  sole  salivarium.  Concoct  an  equo- angular  trillitter.^  On  the  name  of  the  tizzer and  off  the  tongs  and  off  the  mythametical tripods.  Beatsoon.
Can  you  nei  do  her,  numb.'^  asks  Dolph,^ suspecting  the  answer  know.  Oikkont,  ken you,  ninny.'^  asks  Kev,^  expecting  the  answer guess.^  Nor  was  the  noer  long  disappointed for  easiest  of  kisshams,  he  was  made  vicewise. Oc,  tell  it  to  oui,  do,  Sem!  Well,  'tis  oil  thusly. First  mull  a  mugfuU  of  mud,  son.^  Oglores,
INGENIOUS LABOUR- TENACITY AS  BETWEEN INGENUOUS AND  LIBERTINE.
PROPE  AND PROCUL  IN THE  CON- VERGENCE OF  THEIR CONTRAPUL- SIVENESS.
^  As  Rhombulus  and  Rhebus  went  building  rhomes  one  day.
2  The  trouveller.
^  Of  the  disorded  visage.
*  Singlebarrelled  names  for  doubleparalleled  twixtytwins.
^  Like  pudging  a  spoon  fist  of  sugans  into  a  sotspot  of  choucolout.
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1
w
J/ ill
the  virtuoser  prays,  olorum!  What  the  D.V. would  I  do  that  for?  That's  a  goosey's  gans- wer  you're  for  giving  me,  he  is  told,  what  the Deva  would  you  do  that  for?^  Now,  sknow royol  road  to  Puddlin,  take  your  mut  for  a first  beginning,  big  to  bog,  back  to  bach. Wolsherwomens  Anny  liffle  mud  which  cometh  out  of  Mam at  their  weirdst,  will  doob,  I  guess.  A.i.  Amnium  instar.  And to  find  a  locus  for  an  alp  get  a  howlth  on  her bayrings  as  a  prisme  O  and  for  a  second  O unbox  your  compasses.  I  cain  but  are  you able.'^  Amicably  nod.  Gu  it!  So  let's  seth  off betwain  us.  Prompty.'*  Mux  your  pistany  at  a point  of  the  coastmap  to  be  called  a  but  pro- nounced olfa.  There's  the  isle  of  Mun,  ah! O!  Tis  just.  Benel  Now,  whole  in  applepine odrer^
(for — husk,  hisk,  a  spirit  spires — Dolph,  dean  of  idlers,  meager suckling  of  gert  stoan,  though  barekely  a  balbose  boy,  he  too,  — venite,  preterm,^  sine  mora  dumque  de  entibus  nascituris  decentius  in lingua  romana  mortuorum  parva  chartula  liviana  ostenditur,  seden- tes  in  letitiae  super  ollas  carnium^  spectantes  immo  situm  lutetiae  unde auspiciis  secundis  tantae  consurgent  humanae  stirpes,  antiquissimam flaminum  amhorium  Jordani  et  Jamhaptistae  mentihus  revolvamus sapientiam:  totum  tute  fluvii  modo  mundo  fluere,  eadem  quae  ex aggere  fututa  fuere  iterum  inter  alveum  fore  futura,  quodlihet  sese ipsum  per  aliudpiam  agnoscere  contrarium,  omnem  demun  amnem ripis  rivalibus  amplecti^  —  recurrently  often,  when  him  moved  he would  cake  their  chair,  coached  rebelliumtending  mikes  of  his same  and  over  his  own  choirage  at  Backlane  Univarsity,  among  of which  pupal  souaves  the  pizdrool  was  pulled  up,  bred  and  bat-
^  Will  you  walk  into  my  wave  trap?  said  the  spiter  to  the  shy. 2  If  we  each  could  always  do  all  we  ever  did. ^  Dope  in  Canorian  words  we've  made.  Spish  from  the  Doc. *  Basqueesh,  Finnican,  Hungulash  and  Old  Teangtaggle,  the  only  pure way  to  work  a  curse.
287
tered,  for  a  dillon  a  dollar,^  chanching  letters  for  them  vice  oVerse to  bronze  mottes  and  blending  tschemes  for  em  in  tropadores  and doublecressing  twofold  thruths  and  devising  tingling  tailwords too  whilest,  cunctant  that  another  would  finish  his  sentence  for him,  he  druider  would  smilabit  eggways^  ned,  he,  to  don't  say nothing,  would,  so  prim,  and  pick  upon  his  ten  ordinailed  ungles, trying  to  undo  with  his  teeth  the  knots  made  by  his  tongue, retelling  humself  by  the  math  hour,  long  as  he's  brood,  a  reel  of funnish  ficts  apout  the  shee,  how  faust  of  all  and  on  segund thoughts  and  the  thirds  the  charmhim  girlalove  and  fourther- more  and  filthily  with  bag  from  Oxatown  and  baroccidents  and proper  accidence  and  hoptohill  and  hexenshoes,  in  fine  the  whole damning  letter;  and,  in  point  of  feet,  when  he  landed  in  ourland's leinster^  of  saved  and  solomnones  for  the  twicedhecame  time,  off Lipton's  strongbowed  launch,  the  Lady  Eva^  in  a  tan  soute  of sails*  he  converted  it's  nataves,  name  saints,  young  ordnands, maderaheads  and  old  unguished  P.T.  Publikums,  through  the medium  of  znigznaks  with  sotiric  zeal,  to  put  off  the  barcelonas^ from  their  peccaminous  corpulums  (Gratings,  Mr  Dane!)  and kiss  on  their  bottes  (Master!)  as  often  as  they  came  within  blood- shot of  that  other  familiar  temple  and  showed  «m  the  celestine way  to  by  his  tristar  and  his  flop  hattrick  and  his  perry  humdrum dumb  and  numb  nostrums  that  he  larned  in  Hymbuktu,^  and  that same  galloroman  cultous  is  very  prevailend  up  to  this  windiest  of landhavemiseries  all  over  what  was  beforeaboots  a  land  of  nods,  in spite  of  all  the  bloot,  all  the  braim,  all  the  brawn,  all  the  brile,  that was  shod,  that  were  shat,  that  was  shuk  all  the  while,  for  our massangrey  if  mosshungry  people,  the  at  Wickerworks,^  still  hold
^  An  ounceworth  of  onions  for  a  pennyawealth  of  sobs.
2  Who  brought  us  into  the  yellow  world !
3  Because  it's  run  on  the  mountain  and  river  system.
*  When  all  them  allied  sloopers  was  ventitillated  in  their  poppos  and, sliding  down  by  creek  and  veek,  stole  snaking  out  to  sea.
^  They  were  plumped  and  plumed  and  jerried  and  citizens  and  racers,  and cinnamondhued.
®  Creeping  Crawleys  petery  parley,  banished  to  his  native  Ireland  from erring  under  Ryan.
'  Had  our  retrospectable  fearfurther  gatch  mutchtatches.^
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ford  to  their  healing  and^  byleave  in  the  old  weights  downupon the  Swanny,  innovated  by  him,  the  prence  di  Propagandi,  the chrism  for  the  christmass,  the  pillar  of  the  perished  and  the  rock o'ralereality,  and  it  is  veritably  belied,  we  belove,  that  not  allsods of  esoupcans  that's  in  the  queen's  pottage  post  and  not  allfinesof greendgold  that  the  Indus  contains  would  overhinduce  them, (o.p.)  to  steeplechange  back  once  from  their  ophis  workship  and twice  on  sundises,  to  their  ancient  flash  and  crash  habits  of  old Pales  time  ere  beam  slewed  cable^  or  Derzherr,  live  wire,  fired Benj ermine  Funkling  outa  th'Empyre,  sin  righthand  son;  which, cummal,  having  listed  curefully  to  the  interlocking  and  the  under- lacking  of  her  twentynine  shifts  or  his  continental's  curses,  pum- mel, apostrophised  Byrne's  and  Flamming's  and  Furniss's  and Bill  Hayses's  and  Ellishly  Haught's,  hoc,  they  (t.a.W.),  sick or  whole,  stiff  or  sober,  let  drop  as  a  doombody  drops,  with- out another  ostrovgods  word  eitherways,  in  their  own  lineal descendance,  as  priesto  as  puddywhack,^  coal  on:*  and,  as  we gang  along  to  gigglehouse,  talking  of  molniacs'  manias  and missions  for  mades  to  scotch  the  schlang  and  leathercoats  for murty  magdies,  of  course  this  has  blameall  in  that  medeoturanian world  to  say  to  blessed  by  Pointer  the  Grace's  his  privates  judges ments^  whenso  to  put  it,  disparito,  duspurudo,  desterrado,  des- pertieu^  or,  saving  his  presents  for  his  own  onefriend  Bevradge, Conn  the  Shaughraun;  but  to  return  for  a  moment  from  the reptile's  age^  to  the  coxswain  on  the  first  landing  (page  Ainee Riviere!)  if  the  pretty  Lady  Elisabbess,  Hotel  des  Ruines  —  she laid  her  batsleeve  for  him  two  trueveres  tell  love  (on  the  Ides  of Valentino's,  at  Idleness,  Floods  Area,  Isolade,  Liv's  lonely daughter,  with  the  Comes  Tichiami,  of  Prima  Vista,  Abroad, suddenly),  and  beauty  alone  of  all  dare  say  when  now,  uncrowned,
^  That  is  to  sight,  when  cleared  of  factions,  vulgure  and  decimating. 2  They  just  spirits  a  body  away. ^  Patatapadatback.
*  Dump  her  (the  missuse). ^  Fox  him!  The  leggy  coh!
*  Do  he  not  know  that  walleds  had  wars.  Harring  man,  is  neow  king.  This is  modeln  times.
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dcceptered,  in  what  niche  of  time^  is  Shee  or  where  in  the  rose world  trysting,  that  was  the  belle  of  La  Chapelle,  shapely  Liselle^ and  the  peg-of-my-heart  of  all  the  tompull  or  on  whose  limbs-to- lave  her  semicupiose  eyes  now  kindling  themselves  are  brightning,^ O  Shee  who  then  (4.32  m.p.,  old  time,  to  be  precise,  according  to all  three  doctors  waterburies  that  was  Mac  Auliffe  and  poor  Mac- Beth  and  poor  MacGhimley  to  the  tickleticks,  of  the  synchron- isms, all  lauschening,  a  time  also  confirmed  seven  sincuries  later  by the  quatren  medical  johnny,  poor  old  MacAdoo  MacDollett,  with notary,^  whose  presence  was  required  by  law  of  Devine  Fore- sygth  and  decretal  of  the  Douge)  who  after  the  first  compliments* med  darkist  day  light,  gave  him  then  that  vantage  of  a  Blinken- sope's  cuddlebath  at  her  proper  mitts  —  if  she  then,  the  then  that matters,  —  but,  seigneur  I  she  could  never  have  forefelt,  as  she  yet will  fearfeel,  when  the  lovenext  breaks  out,  such  a  coolcold douche  as  him,  the  totterer,  the  four-flights-the-charmer,  doub- ling back,  in  nowtime,^  bymby  when  saltwater  he  wush  him  these iselands,  O  alorsl,  to  mount  miss  (the  wooeds  of  Fogloot!)  under that  chemise  de  fer  and  a  vartryproof  name,  Multalusi  (would  it wash?)  with  a  cheek  white  peaceful  as,  wen  shall  say,  a  single  pro- fessed claire's®  and  his  washawash  tubatubtub  and  his  diagonoser's lampblick,  to  pure  where  they  where  hornest  girls,  to  buy  her  in par  jure^  il  you  plait,  nuncandtunc  and  for  simper,  and  other  duel mavourneens  in  plurible  numbers  from  Arklow  Vikloe  to  Louth super  Luck,  come  messes,  come  mams,  and  touch  your  spottprice (for  'twas  he  was  the  born  suborner,  man)  on  behalf  of  an  oldest ablished  firma  of  winebakers,  Lagrima  and  Gemiti,  later  on,  his craft  ebbing,  invoked  by  the  unirish  title,  Grindings  of  Nash,'  the
^  Muckross  Abbey  witli  the  creepers  taken  off. 2  Joke  and  Jilt  will  have  their  tilt. ^  Old  Mamalujorum  and  Rawrogerum. *  Why  have  these  puerile  blonds  those  large  flexible  ears.'' ^  Pomeroy  Roche  of  Portobello,  or  the  Wreck  of  the  Ragamuffin. ®  No  wonder  Miss  Dotsh  took  to  veils  and  she  descended  from  that obloquohy.
'  The  bookley  with  the  rusin's  hat  is  Patomkin  but  I'm  blowed  if  I  knowed who  the  slave  is  doing  behind  the  curtain.
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One  and  Only,  Unic  bar  None,  of  Saint  Yves  by  Landsend  com- wer,  man  —  ship  me  silver!,  it  must  have  been,  faw!  a  terrible mavrue  mavone,  to  synamite  up  the  old  Adam-he-used-to,  such  a finalley,  and  that's  flat  as  Tut's  fut,  for  whowghowho?  the  poour girl,  a  lonely  peggy,  given  the  bird,  so  inseuladed  as  Crampton's peartree,  (she  sail  eurn  bitter  bed  by  thirt  sweet  of  her  face!),  and short  wonder  so  many  of  the  tomthick  and  tarry  members  in  all there  subsequious  ages  of  our  timocracy  tipped  to  console  with  her at  her  mirrorable  gracewindow'd  hut^  till  the  ives  of  Man,  the O'Kneels  and  the  OTrayins  and  the  O'Hyens  of  Lochlaunstown and  the  O'Hollerins  of  Staneybatter,  hollyboys,  all,  burryripe who'll  buy?,^  in  juwelietry  and  kickychoses  and  madornaments and  that's  not  the  finis  of  it  (would  it  were!) — but  to  think  of  him foundling  a  nelliza  the  second,^  also  cliptbuss  (the  best  was  still there  if  the  torso  was  gone)  where  he  did  and  when  he  did,  re- triever to  the  last*  —  escapes  my  forgetness  now  was  it  dust- covered,  mm  de  Lieu !  on  lapse  or  street  ondown,  through,  for  or from  a  foe,  by  with  as  on  a  friend,  at  the  Rectory?  Vicarage  Road? Bishop's  Folly?  Papesthorpe?,  after  picket  fences,  stonewalls,  out and  ins  or  oxers  —  for  merry  a  valsehood  whisprit  he  to  manny  a lilying  earling;^  and  to  try  to  analyse  that  ambo's  pair  of  brace- leans  akwart  the  rollyon  trying  to  amarm  all^  of  that  miching micher's  bearded  but  insensible  virility  and  its  gaulish  mous- taches, Dammad  and  Groany,  into  her  limited  {tuff,  tuff,  que  tu  es pitrel)  lapse  at  the  same  slapse  for  towelling  ends'  in  their  dolight- ful  Sexsex  home,  Somehow-at-Sea  (O  little  oily  head,  sloper's brow  and  prickled  ears!)  as  though  he,  a  notoriety,  a  foist  edition, were  a  wrigular  writher  neonovene  babe !®  —  well,  diarmuee  and
lOhcelOhce!
^  Six  and  seven  the  League.
^  It's  all  round  me  hat  I'll  wear  a  drooping  dido.
*  Have  you  ever  thought  of  a  hitching  your  stem  and  being  ourdeaned, Mester  Bootenfly,  here's  me  and  Myrtle  is  twinkling  to  know. ^  To  show  they  caught  preferment. ^  See  the  freeman's  cuticatura  by  Fennella. '  Just  one  big  booty's  pot.
®  Charles  de  Simples  had  an  infirmierity  complexe  before  he  died  a  natural death.
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granyou  and  Vae  Vinctis^  if  that  is  what  lamoor  that  of  gentle breast  rathe  is  intaken  seems  circling  toward  out  yondest  (it's life  that's  all  chokered  by  that  batch  of  grim  rushers)  heaven help  his  hindmost  and,  mark  mo,  if  the  so  greatly  displeaced diorems  in  the  Saint  Lubbock's  Day  number  of  that  most  improv- ing of  roundshows.  Spice  and  Westend  Woman  (utterly  exhausted before  publication,  indiapepper  edition  shortly),  are  for  our  in- dices, it  agins  to  pear  like  it,  par  my  fay,  and  there  is  no  use  for  your pastripreaching  for  to  cheesse  it  either  or  praying  fresh  fleshblood claspers  of  young  catholick  throats  on  Huggin  Green^  to  take warning  by  the  prispast,  why?,  by  cows  * .  *  man,  in  shirt,  is  how he  is  piu  la  gonna  e  mobile  and  .  * .  they  wonet  do  ut;  and,  an  you could  peep  inside  the  cerebralised  saucepan  of  this  eer  illwinded goodfornobody,  you  would  see  in  his  house  of  thoughtsam  (was you,  that  is,  decontaminated  enough  to  look  discarnate)  what  a jetsam  litterage  of  convolvuli  of  times  lost  or  strayed,  of  lands derelict  and  of  tongues  laggin  too,  longa  yamsayore,  not  only  that but,  search  lighting,  beached,  bashed  and  beaushelled  d  la  Mer pharahead  into  faturity,  your  own  convolvulis  pickninnig  capman would  real  to  jazztfancy  the  novo  takin  place  of  what  stale  words whilom  were  woven  with  and  fitted  fairly  featly  for,  so;  and equally  so,  the  crame  of  the  whole  faustian  fustian,  whether  your launer's  lightsome  or  your  soulard's  schwearmood,  it  is  that, whenas  the  swiftshut  scareyss  of  our  pupilteachertaut  duplex  will hark  back  to  lark  to  you  symibellically  that,  though  a  day  be  as dense  as  a  decade,  no  mouth  has  the  might  to  set  a  mearbound  to the  march  of  a  landsmaul,^  in  half  a  sylb,  helf  a  solb,  holf  a  salb  on- ward^ the  beast  of  boredom,  common  sense,  lurking  gyrographi- cally  down  inside  his  loose  Eating  S.S.  collar  is  gogoing  of whisth  to  you  sternly  how  —  Plutonic  loveliaks  twinnt  Platonic yearlings  —  you  must,  how,  in  undivided  reawlity  draw  the  line somewhawre)
^  Where  Buickly  of  the  Glass  and  Bellows  pumped  the  Rudge  engineral. 2  Matter  of  Brettaine  and  brut  fierce.
^  Bussmullah,  cried  Lord  Wolsley,  how  me  Aunty  Mag'll  row!
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i
teralterance  or e  Interplay  of ones  in  the '^omb.
he  Vortex, mng  of Sprung erse.  The  Ver-
Coss?  Cossist?  Your  parn!  You,  you  make what  name?  (and  in  truth,  as  a  poor  soul  is between  shift  and  shift  ere  the  death  he  has lived  through  becomes  the  life  he  is  to  die into,  he  or  he  had  albut  —  he  was  rickets  as  to reasons  but  the  balance  of  his  minds  was stables  —  lost  himself  or  himself  some  som- nione  sciupiones,  soswhitchoverswetch  had he  or  he  gazet,  murphy  come,  murphy  go, murphy  plant,  murphy  grow,  a  maryamyria- meliamurphies,  in  the  lazily  eye  of  his  lapis,
WHY  MY  AS LIKEWISE WHIS  HIS.
Vieus  Von  DVbLIn,  'twas  one  of  dozedeams a  darkies  ding  in  dewood)  the  Turnpike  under the  Great  Ulm  (with  Mearingstone  in  Fore ground).^  Given  now  ann  linch  you  take  enn all.  Allow  me!  And,  heaving  alljawbreakical expressions  out  of  old  Sare  Isaac's^  universal of  specious  aristmystic  unsaid,  A  is  for  Anna like  L  is  for  liv.  Aha  hahah.  Ante  Ann  you're apt  to  ape  aunty  annalive!  Dawn  gives  rise. Lo,  lo,  lives  love!  Eve  takes  fall.  La,  la,  laugh leaves  alass!  Aiaiaiai,  Antiann,  we're  last  to the  lost,  Loulou!  Tis  perfect.  Now  (lens
^  Draumcondra's  Dreamcountry  where  the  betterlies  blow.
2  O,  Laughing  Sally,  are  we  going  to  be  toadhauntered  by  that  old  Pantifox
Sir  Somebody  Something,  Burtt,  for  the  rest  of  our  secret  stripture?
293
Sarga,  or  the path  of  outgoing.
Docetism  and Didicism^  Maya- Thaya.  Tamas- Rajas-Sattvas,
your  dappled  yeye  here,  mine's  presbyoperian, shill  and  wall)  we  see  the  copyngink  strayed- line  AL  (in  Fig.,  the  forest)  from  being  con- tinued, stops  ait  Lambday^:  Modder  ilond there  too.  Allow  me  anchore!  I  bring  down noth  and  carry  awe.  Now,  then,  take  this  in! One  of  the  most  murmurable  loose  caroUaries ever  Ellis  threw  his  cookingclass.  With  Olaf as  centrum  and  OlaPs  lambtail  for  his  spokes- man circumscript  a  cyclone.  Allow  ter!  Hoop! As  round  as  the  calf  of  an  egg!  O,  dear me!  O,  dear  me  now!  Another  grand  dis- cobely!  After  Makefearsome's  Ocean.  You've actuary  entducked  one!  Quok!  Why,  you haven't  a  passer!  Fantastic!  Early  clever, surely  doomed,  to  Swift's,  alas,  the  galehus! Match  of  a  matchness,  like  your  Bigdud  dadder in  the  boudeville  song,  Gorotsky  Gollovars Troubles^  raucking  his  flavourite  turvku  in the  smukking  precincts  of  lydias,^  with  Mary Owens  and  Dolly  Monks  seesidling  to  edge his  cropulence  and  Blake-Roche,  Kingston and  Dockrell  auriscenting  him  from  afurz,  our papacocopotl,^  Abraham  Bradley  King.^  (tirig ting!  ting  ting!)  By  his  magmasine  fall.  Lumps, lavas  and  all.'*  Bene!  But,  thunder  and  turf,  it's not  alover  yet!  One  recalls  Byzantium.  The mystery  repeats  itself  todate  as  our  callback mother  Gaudyanna,  that  was  daughter  to  a tanner,^  used  to  sing,  as  I  think,  now  and  then consinuously  over  her  possetpot  in  her  quer
^  Ex  jup  pep  off  Carpenger  Strate.  The  kids'  and  dolls'  home.  Makeacake- ache.
^  A  vagrant  need  is  a  flagrant  weed.
^  Grand  for  blowing  off  steam  when  you  walk  up  in  the  morning. *  At  the  foot  of  Bagnabun  Banbasday  was  lost  on  one. ^  We're  all  found  of  our  anmal  matter.
294
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The  Vegetable \Cell  and  its  Pri- vate Properties,
^he  haves  and le  havenots:  a Istinction,
homolocous  humminbass  hesterdie  and  ist- herdie  forivor.^  Vanissas  Vanistatums !  And for  a  night  of  thoughtsendyures  and  a  day.  As Great  Shapesphere  puns  it.  In  effect,  I  re- mumble,  from  the  yules  gone  by,  purr  lil  mur- rerof  myhind,  so  she  used  indeed.  When  she give  me  the  Sundaclouths  she  hung  up  for Tate  and  Comyng  and  snuffed  out  the  ghost in  the  candle  at  his  old  game  of  haunt  the sleepper.  Faithful  departed.  When  Fm  dream- ing back  like  that  I  begins  to  see  we're  only all  telescopes.  Or  the  comeallyoum  saunds. Like  when  I  dromed  I  was  in  Dairy  and  was wuckened  up  with  thump  in  thudderdown. Rest  in  peace!  But  to  return.^  What  a  wonder- ful memory  you  have  too!  Twonderful morrowy !  Straorbinaire !  Bene!  I  bring  town eau  and  curry  nothung  up  my  sleeve.  Now, springing  quickenly  from  the  mudland  Loosh from  Luccan  with  AUhim  as  her  Elder  tetra- turn  a  somersault.  All's  fair  on  all  fours,  as my  instructor  unstrict  me.  Watch !  And  you'll have  the  whole  inkle.  Allow,  allow!  Gyre  O, gyre  O,  gyrotundo!  Hop  lala!  As  umpty herum  as  you  seat!  O,  dear  me,  that  was  very nesse!  Very  nace  indeed!  And  makes  us  a daintical  pair  of  accomplasses !  You,  alius  for the  kunst  and  me  for  omething  with  a  handel to  it.  Bevel  Now,  as  will  pressantly  be  felt, there's  tew  tricklesome  poinds  where  our twain  of  doubling  bicirculars,  mating  approxe- metely  in  their  suite  poi  and  poi,  dunloop into  eath  the  ocher.  Lucihere. !  I  fee  where  you
^  Sewing  up  the  beillybursts  in  their  buckskin  shiorts  for  big  Kapitayn Killykook  and  the  Jukes  of  Kelleiney.
2  Say  where !  A  timbrelfill  of  twinkletinkle.
Zweispaltung  as Fundemaintalish of  IViederher- stellung.
mea.  The  doubleviewed  seeds.  Nun,  lemmas quatsch,  vide  pervoys  akstiom,  and  I  think  as Fm  suqeez  in  the  limon,  stickme  punctum,  but for  semenal  rations  I'd  likelong,  by  Araxes, to  mack  a  capital  Pee  for  Pride  down  there on  the  batom^  where  Hoddum  and  Heave,  our monsterbilker,  balked  his  bawd  of  parodies. And  let  you  go,  Airmienious,  and  mick  your modest  mock  Pie  out  of  Humbles  up  your end.  Where  your  apexojesus  will  be  a  point of  order.  With  a  geing  groan  grunt  and  a croak  click  cluck.^  And  my  faceage  kink  and kurkle  trying  to  make  keek  peep.^  Are  you right  there,  Michael,  are  you  right.'^  Do  you think  you  can  hold  on  by  sitting  tight.'^  Well, of  course,  it's  awful  angelous.  Still  I  don't  feel it's  so  dangelous.  Ay,  I'm  right  here.  Nickel, and  I'll  write.  Singing  the  top  line  why  it suits  me  mikey  fine.  But,  yaghags  hogwarts and  arrahquinonthiance,  it's  the  muddest  thick that  was  ever  heard  dump  since  Eggsmather got  smothered  in  the  plap  of  the  pfan.  Now, to  compleat  anglers,  beloved  bironthiarn  and hushtokan  hishtakatsch,  join  alfa  pea  and pull  loose  by  dotties  and,  to  be  more sparematically  logoical,  eelpie  and  paleale  by trunkles.  Alow  me  align  while  I  encloud especious!  The  Nike  done  it.  Like  pah,'*  I  peh. Innate  little  bondery.  And  as  plane  as  a  poke stifT.^  Now,  aqua  in  buccal.  I'll  make  you  to see  figuratleavely  the  whome  of  your  eternal
^  Parsee  ffrench  for  the  upholdsterer  would  be  delightered. 2  I'll  pass  out  if  the  screw  spliss  his  strut.
^  Thargam  then  goeligum?  If  you  sink  I  can,  swimford.  Suksumkale *  Hasitatense?
^  The  impudence  of  that  in  girl's  things!
296
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hi
Destiny i  In- fluence of Design upon.
Prometheus  or the  Promise  of Provision,
geomater.  And  if  you  flung  her  headdress  on her  from  under  her  highlows  you'd  wheeze whyse  Salmonson  set  his  seel  on  a  hexen- gown.i  Hissssl,  Arrah,  go  on!  Fin  for  fun! You've  spat  your  shower  like  a  son  of  Sibernia but  let's  have  at  it!  Subtend  to  me  now!  Pisk! Outer  serpumstances  beiug  ekewilled,  we  care- fully, if  she  pleats,  lift  by  her  seam  hem  and jabote  at  the  spidsiest  of  her  trickkikant  (like thousands  done  before  since  fillies  calpered. Ocone !  Ocone !)  the  maidsapron  of  our  A.L.P., fearfully !  till  its  nether  nadir  is  vortically  where (allow  me  aright  to  two  cute  winkles)  its  naval's napex  will  have  to  beandbe.  You  must  proach near  mear  for  at  is  dark.  Lob.  And  light your  mech.  Jeldy !  And  this  is  what  you'll  say.^ Waaaaaa.  Tch !  Sluice  1  Pla  1  And  their,  redneck, (for  addn't  we  to  gayatsee  with  Puhl  the  Pun- kah's bell?)  mygh  and  thy,  the  living  spit  of dead  waters,^  fastness  firm  of  Hurdlebury  Fenn, discinct  and  isoplural  in  its  (your  sow  to the  duble)  sixuous  parts,  flument,  fluvey  and fluteous,  midden  wedge  of  the  stream's  your muddy  old  triagonal  delta,  fiho  miho,  plain for  you  now,  appia  lippia  pluvaville,  (hop  the hula,  girls  1)  the  no  niggard  spot  of  her  safety vulve,  first  of  all  usquiluteral  threeingles,  (and why  wouldn't  she  sit  cressloggedlike  the  lass that  lured  a  tailor.^)  the  constant  of  fluxion, Mahamewetma,  pride  of  the  province^  and when  that  tidied  boare  rutches  up  from  the Afrantic,  allaph  quaran's  his  bett  und  bier!^
^  The  chape  of  Dona  Speranza  of  the  Nacion. 2  Ugol  egal  ogle.  Mi  vidim  Mi. ^  It  is,  it  is  Sangannon's  dream. *  And  all  meinkind.
^  Whangpoos  the  paddle  and  whiss  whee  whoo. 297
Ambages  and Their  Role,
Ecclasiasdcal and  Celestial Hierarchies.  The Ascending.  The Descending.
The  peripatetic periphery.  Its Alio  thesis.
Paa  lickam  laa  lickam,  apl  Ipa!  This  it  is  an  her. You  see  her  it.  Which  it  whom  you  see  it  is her.  And  if  you  could  goaneggbetter  we'd  soon see  some  raffant  scrumala  riffa.  Quicks  herit fossyending.  Quef !  So  post  that  to  your  pape and  smarket !  And  you  can  haul  up  that  languil pennant,  mate.  Fve  read  your  tune's  dimissage. For,  let  it  be  taken  that  her  littlenist  is  of  no magnetude  or  again  let  it  be  granted  that  Doll the  laziest  can  be  dissimulant  with  all  respects from  Doll  the  fiercst,  thence  must  any  what- youlike  in  the  power  of  empthood  be  either
greater  THa  N  or  less  THaN  the  unitate  we have  in  one  or  hence  shall  the  vectorious  ready- eyes  of  evertwo  circumflicksrent  searclhers never  film  in  the  elipsities  of  their  gyribouts those  fickers  which  are  returnally  reprodictive of  themselves.^  Which  is  unpassible.  Quarrel- lary.  The  logos  of  somewome  to  that  base  any- thing, when  most  characteristically  mantissa minus,  comes  to  nullum  in  the  endth:-  orso, here  is  nowet  badder  than  the  sin  of  Aha  with his  cosin  Lil,  verswaysed  on  coverswised,  and all  that's  consecants  and  cotangincies  till  Per- perp  stops  repippinghim  since  her  redtangles are  all  abscissan  for  limitsing  this  tendency  of our  Frivulteeny  Sexuagesima^  to  expense  her- selfs  as  sphere  as  possible,  paradismic  peri- mutter,  in  all  directions  on  the  bend  of  the unbridalled,  the  inflnisissimalls  of  her  facets becoming  manier  and  manier  as  the  calicolum of  her  umdescribables  (one  has  thoughts  of that  eternal  Rome)  shrinks  from  schurtiness
*  I  enjoy  as  good  as  anyone.
*  Neither  a  soul  to  be  saved  nor  a  body  to  be  kicked. ^  The  boast  of  the  town.
298
f; 0, fl
Canine  Venus sublimated  to Aulidic Aphrodite,
Exclusivism:  the Ors,  Sors  and Fors^  which^
to  scherts.^  Scholium,  there  are  trist  sigheds  to everysing  but  ichs  on  the  freed  brings  euchs  to the  feared.  Qued?  Mother  of  us  all!  O,  dear me,  look  at  that  now!  I  don't  know  is  it  your spictre  or  my  omination  but  Fm  glad  you dimentioned  it!  My  Lourde!  My  Lourde!  If that  aint  just  the  beatenest  lay  I  ever  see!  And a  superpbosition!  Quoint  a  quincidence!  O.K. Omnius  Kollidimus,  As  Ollover  Krumwall sayed  when  he  slepped  ueber  his  grannya- mother.  Kangaroose  feathers.  Who  in  the  name of  thunder'd  ever  belevin  you  were  that  bolt.^ But  you're  holy  mooxed  and  gaping  up  the wrong  palce^  as  if  you  was  seeheeing  the  gheist that  stays  forenenst,  you  blessed  simpletop domefool!  Where's  your  belested  loiternan's lamp?  You  must  lap  wandret  down  the  bluish- ing  refluction  below.  Her  trunk's  not  her  brain- box.  Hear  where  the  bolgylines,  Yseen  here  the puncture.  So  he  done  it.  Luck!  See  her  good. Well,  well,  well,  well!  O  dee,  O  dee,  that's very  lovely !  We  like  Simperspreach  Hammel- tones  to  fellow  Selver tunes  O'Haggans.^  When he  rolls  over  his  ars  and  shows  the  hise  of  his heels.  Vely  lovely  entilely!  Like  a  yangsheep- slang  with  the  tsifengtse.  So  analytical  plaus- ible !  And  be  the  powers  of  Moll  Kelly,  neigh- bour topsowyer,  it  will  be  a  lozenge  to  me  all my  lauffe.*  More  better  twofeller  we  been  speak copperads.  Ever  thought  about  Guinness's.^ And  the  regrettable  Parson  Rome's  advice.'^
^  Hen's  bens,  are  we  soddy  we  missiled  her? ^  I  call  that  a  scumhead.
^  Pure  chingchong  idiotism  with  any  way  words  all  in  one  soluble.  Gee each  owe  tea  eye  smells  fish.  That's  U.
*The  Doodles  family,  PI,  A  ,  O  ,  A,  C.  Hoodie  doodle, fam.?
299
Primanouriture and  Ultimo- geniture,
No  Sturm,  No Drang.
Want  to  join  the  police.^  You  know,  you  were always  one  of  the  bright  ones,  since  a  foot made  you  an  unmentionable,  fakes !  You  know, you're  the  divver's  own  smart  gossoon,  aequal to  yoursell  and  wanigel  to  anglyother,  so  you are,  hoax!  You  know,  you'll  be  dampned,  so you  will,  one  of  these  invernal  days  but  you will  be,  carrotty!^
Wherapool,  gayet  that  when  he  stop  look time  he  stop  long  ground  who  here  hurry  he would  have  ever  the  lothst  word,  with  a  sweet me  ah  err  eye  ear  marie  to  reat  from  the  jacob's^ and  a  shypull  for  toothsake  of  his  armjaws at  the  slidepage  of  de  Vere  Foster,  would  and could  candykissing  P.  Kevin  to  fress  up  the rinnerung  and  to  ate  by  hart  (Jeo  I  read,  such  a Spanish,  escribibis^  all  your  mycoscoups)  wont to  nibbleh  ravenostonnoriously  ihs  mum  to me  in  bewonderment  of  his  chipper  chuthor for,  while  that  Other  by  the  halp  of  his  creac- tive  mind  offered  to  deleberate  the  mass  from the  booty  of  fight  our  Same  with  the  holp of  the  bounty  of  food  sought  to  delubberate the  mess  from  his  corructive  mund,  with  his muffetee  cuffes  ownconsciously  grafficking with  his  sinister  cyclopes  after  trigamies  and spirals'  wobbles  pursuiting  their  rovinghamil- ton  selves  and  godolphing  in  fairlove  to  see around  the  waste  of  noland's  browne  jesus* (thur  him  no  quartos  I)  till  that  on  him  poorin sweat  the  juggaleer's  veins  (quench  his  quill!) in  his  napier  scrag  stud  out  bursthright  tam-
SICK  us  A
SOCK  WITH SOME  SEDI- MENT IN  IT FOR  THE SAKE  OF  OUR DARNING WIVES.
^  Picking  on  Nickagain,  Pikey  Mikey?
2  Early  morning,  sir  Dav  Stephens,  said  the  First  Gentleman  in  youreups,
^  Bag  bag  blockcheap,  have  you  any  will?
*  What  a  lubberly  whide  elephant  for  the  men-in-the  straits!
300
I
Ik
I I
hi
h kl
Illustration.  quam  taughtropes.  (Spry  him!  call  a  blood-
lekar!  Where's  Dr  Brassenaarse?)  Es  war  itwas in  his  priesterrite.  O  He  Must  Suffer!  From  this misbelieving  feacemaker  to  his  noncredible fancyflame.i  Ask  for  bosthoon,  late  for  Mass, pray  for  blaablaablack  sheep.  (Sure  you  could Wright  anny  pippap  passage,  Eye  bet,  as  foyne as  that  moultylousy  Erewhig,  yerself,  mick! Nock  the  muddy  nickers  Christ's  Church varses  Bellial!)  Dear  and  he  went  on  to  scripple Ascription  of  the  gentlemine  born,  milady  bread,  he  would  pen Active,  for  her,  he  would  pine  for  her,^  how  he  would
patpun  fun  for  all*  with  his  frolicky  frowner so  and  his  glumsome  grinner  otherso.  And  how are  you,  waggy?^  My  animal  his  sorrafool! And  trieste,  ah  trieste  ate  I  my  liver!  Se  non  e vero  son  trovatore,  O  jerry!  He  was  soso,  harriot all!  He  was  sadfellow,  steifel!  He  was  mister- mysterion.  Like  a  purate  out  of  pensionee  with a  gouvernament  job.  All  moanday,  tearsday, wailsday,  thumpsday,  frightday,  shatterday  till the  fear  of  the  Law.  Look  at  this  twitches! He  was  quisquis,  floored  on  his  plankraft  of shittim  wood.  Look  at  him!  Sink  deep  or touch  not  the  Cartesian  spring!  Want  more ashes,  griper.'^  How  diesmal  he  was  lying  low on  his  rawside  laying  siege  to  goblin  castle. And,  bezouts  that,  how  hyenesmeal  he  was laying  him  long  on  his  laughside  lying  sack to  croakpartridge.  (Be  thou  wars  Rolaf 's  intes-
Proscription  of the  Passive,
^  And  she  had  to  seek  a  pond's  apeace  to  salve  her  suiterkins.  Sued !
2  Excuse  theyre  christianbrothers  irish?
^  When  she  tripped  against  the  briery  bush  he  profused  her  allover  with curtsey  flowers.
*  A  nastilow  disigraible  game.
^  Dear  old  Erosmas.  Very  glad  you  are  going  to  Penmark.  Write  to  the comer.  Grunny  Grant.
Ensouling  Fe- male Sustains
man.
tions,  quoths  the  Bhagavat  biskop  Leech)  Ann opes  tipoo  soon  ear!  If  you  could  me  lendtill my  pascol's  kondyl,  sahib,  and  the  price  of  a plate  of  poultice.  Punked.  With  best  apolojigs and  merrymoney  thanks  to  self  for  all  the clerricals  and  again  begs  guerdon  for  bistris- pissing  on  your  bunificence.  Well  wiggy- Agonising  Over-  wiggywagtail,  and  how  are  you,  yaggy?  With a  capital  Tea  for  Thirst.  From  here  Buvard  to dear  Picuchet.  Blott.
Now,  (peel  your  eyes,  my  gins,  and  brush your  saton  hat,  me  elementator  joyclid,  son  of a  Butt!  She's  mine,  Jow  low  jure,^  be  Skibber- ing's  eagles,  sweet  tart  of  Whiteknees  Arch- way) watch  him,  having  caught  at  the  bi- furking  calamum  in  his  bolsillos,  the  onelike underworp  he  had  ever  funnet  without  diffi- cultads,  the  aboleshqvick,  signing  away  in happinext  complete,  (Exquisite  Game  of  in- spiration !  I  always  adored  your  hand.  So  could I  too  and  without  the  scrope  of  a  pen.  Ohr  for oral,  key  for  crib,  olchedolche  and  a  lunge  ad lib.  Can  you  write  us  a  last  line.'^  From  Smith- Jones-Orbison.'^)  intrieatedly  in  years,  jirry- alimpaloop.  And  i  Romain,  hup  u  bn  gd  grl.^ Unds  alws  my  thts.  To  fallthere  at  bare  feet hurryaswormarose.  Two  dies  of  one  raffle- ment.  Eche  bennyache.  Outstamp  and  dis- tribute him  at  the  expanse  of  his  society.  To be  continued.  Anon.
And  ook,  ook,  ook,  fanky!  All  the  charic- tures^  in  the  drame!  This  is  how  San  holy-
Sesama  to  the Rescues,  The Key  Signature
WHEN  THE ANSWERER IS  A  LEMAN.
ALL  SQUARE AND
*  I  loved  to  see  tlie  Macbeths  Jerseys  knacking  spots  of  the  Plumpduffs Pants.
2  Lifp  year  fends  you  all  and  moe,  fouvenirs  foft  as  fummer  fnow,  fweet willings  and  forget-uf-knots. ^  Gag  his  tubes  yourself.
302
II
tk
Force  Centres  of the  Fire  Serpen- tine: hearty throaty  navely spleeny  sacraly fontanellay  inter- temporal eye.
Conception  of  the Compromise  and Finding  of  a Formula,
n
Ideal  Present Alone  Produces Real  Future,
polypools.  And  this,  pardonsky!  is  the  way Romeopullupalleaps.^  Pose  the  pen,  man, way  me  does.  Way  ole  missa  vellatooth  fust show  me  how.  Fourth  power  to  her  illpogue! Bould  strokes  for  your  life !  Tip !  This  is  Steal, this  is  Barke,  this  is  Starn,  this  is  Swhipt,  this  is Wiles,  this  is  Pshaw,  this  is  Doubbllinnbbay- yates.2  This  is  brave  Danny  weeping  his  spache for  the  popers.  This  is  cool  Connolly  wiping his  hearth  with  brave  Danny.  And  this,  regard ! how  Chawleses  Skewered  parparaparnelligoes between  brave  Danny  boy  and  the  Connolly. Upanishadem !  Top.  Spoken  hath  L'arty  Ma- gory.  Eregobragh.  Prouf  !^
And  Kev  was  wreathed  with  his  pother.
But,  (that  Jacoby  feeling  again  for  fore- bitten  fruit  and,  my  Georgeous,  Kevvy  too  he just  loves  his  puppadums,  I  judge!)  after  all  his autocratic  writings  of  paraboles  of  famellicurbs and  meddlied  muddlingisms,  thee  faroots  hof cullchaw  end  ate  citrawn  woodint  wun  able rep  of  the  triperforator  awlrite  blast  through his  pergaman  hit  him  where  he  lived  and  do  for the  blessted  selfchuruls,  what  I  think,  smarter like  it  done  for  a  manny  another  unpious  of the  hairydary  quare  quandary  firstings  till  at length,  you  one  bladdy  bragger,  by  mercy- stroke  he  measured  his  earth  anyway.'^  could not  but  recken  in  his  adder's  badder  cadder way  our  frankson  who,  to  be  plain,  he  fight him  all  time  twofeller  longa  kill  dead  finish bloody  face  blong  you,  was  misocain.  Wince
ACCORDING TO  COCKER.
TROTHBLOWERS, FIG  AND THISTLE PLOT  A  PIG AND
WHISTLE.
^  He,  angel  that  I  thought  him,  and  he  not  aebel  to  speel  eelyotripes.,  Mr Tellibly  Divilcult!
^  When  the  dander  rattles  how  the  peacocks  prance !
^  The  Brownes  de  Browne  -  Browne  of  Casdehacknolan.
303
Service  super- seding self.
Catastrophe  and Anabasis.
The  rotary  pro- cessus and  its reestablishment of  reciprocities.
wan's  won!  Rip!^  And  his  countinghands rose.
Formalisa.  Loves  deathhow  simple! Slutningsbane^.
Thanks  eversore  much,  Pointcarried !  I  can't say  if  it's  the  weight  you  strike  me  to  the quick  or  that  red  mass  I  was  looking  at  but  at the  present  momentum,  potential  as  I  am,  I'm seeing  rayingbogeys  rings  round  me.  Honours to  you  and  may  you  be  commended  for  our exhibitiveness !  I'd  love  to  take  you  for  a bugaboo  ride  and  play  funfer  all  if  you'd  only sit  and  be  the  ballasted  bottle  in  the  porker barrel.  You  will  deserve  a  rolypoly  as  long as  from  here  to  tomorrow.  And  to  hell  with them  driftbombs  and  bottom  trailers!  If  my maily  was  bag  enough  I'd  send  you  a  toxis. By  Saxon  Chromaticus,  you  done  that  lovely for  me!  Didn't  he  now,  Nubilina.'*  Tiny  Mite, she  studiert  whas?  With  her  listeningin  coif- fure, her  dream  of  Endsland's  daylast  and  the glorifires  of  being  presainted  maid  to  majesty.^ And  less  is  the  pity  for  she  isn't  the  lollypops she  easily  might  be  if  she  had  for  a  sample Virginia's  air  of  achievement.  That  might keep  her  from  throwing  delph.*  As  I  was  saying, while  retorting  thanks,  you  make  me  a  reborn of  the  cards.  We're  offals  boys  ambows.^ For  I've  flicked  up  all  the  crambs  as  they crumbed  from  your  table  um,  singing  glory allaloserem,  cog  it  out,  here  goes  a  sum.  So
WITH  EBONISER. IN  PIX. EUCHRE RISK,  MERCI BUCKUP,  AND MIND  WHO
you're
PUCKING, FLEBBY.
^  A  byebye  bingbang  boys!  See  you  Nutcracker  Sunday! 2  Chinchin  Childamanl  Chapchopchap ! ^  Wipe  your  glosses  with  what  you  know.
*  If  I'd  more  in  the  cups  that  peeves  thee  you  could  cracksmith  your  rows tureens.
^  Alls  Sings  and  Alls  Howls.
304
Ik h
^^
ftit
The  Twofold Truth  and  the Conjunctive  Ap- petites of  Oppo- sitional Orexes.
Trishagion,
read  we  in  must  book.  It  tells.  He  prophets most  who  bilks  the  best.
And  that  salubrated  sickenagiaour  of  yaours have  teaspilled  all  my  hazeydency .  Forge  away, Sunny  Sim!  Sheepshopp.  Bleating  Goad,  it  is the  least  of  things,  Eyeinstye  I  Imagine  it,  my deep  dartry  dullard!  It  is  hours  giving,  not more.  I'm  only  out  for  celebridging  over  the guilt  of  the  gap  in  your  hiscitendency.  You  are a  hundred  thousand  times  welcome,  old  wort- sampler,  hellbeit  you're  just  about  as  culpable as  my  woolfell  merger  would  be.  In  effect  I could  engage  in  an  energument  over  you  till you  were  republicly  royally  toobally  prussic blue  in  the  shirt  after.^  Trionfante  di  bestial  And if  you're  not  your  bloater's  kipper  may  I  never curse  again  on  that  pint  I  took  of  Jamesons. Old  Keane  now,  you're  rod,  hook  and  sinker, old  jubalee  Keane!  Biddy's  hair.  Biddy's  hair, mine  lubber.  Where  is  that  Quin  but  he  sknows it  knot  but  what  you  that  are  my  popular  end- phthisis  were  born  with  a  solver  arm  up  your sleep.  Thou  in  shanty !  Thou  in  scanty  shanty! ! Thou  in  slanty  scanty  shanty!!!  Bide  in  your hush!  Bide  in  your  hush,  do!  The  law  does not  aloud  you  to  shout.  I  plant  my  penstock in  your  postern,  chinarpot.  Ave!  And  let  it  be to  all  remembrance.  Vale.  Ovocation  of  maid- ing waters.^  For  auld  lang  salvy  steyne.  I defend  you  to  champ  my  scullion's  praises. To  book  alone  belongs  the  lobe.  Foremaster's meed^  will  mark  tomorrow  when  we  are making  pilscrummage  to  whaboggeryin  with
COME  SI
COMPITA
CUNCTITI-
TITILATIO.'^
CONKERY
CUNK,
THIGH-
THIGHT-
TICKELLY-
THIGH,  LIG-
GERILAG,
TITTERITOT,
LEG  IN  A  TEE,
LUG  IN  A
LAW,  TWO
AT  A  TIE,
THREE  ON  A
THRICKY
TILL  OHIO
OHIO
lOIOMISS.
^  From  three  shellings.  A  bluedye  sacrifice.
2  Not  Kilty.  But  the  manajar  was.  He!  He!  Ho!  Ho!  Ho!
^  Giglamps,  Soapy  Geyser,  The  Smell  and  Gory  M  Gusty.
staff,  scarf  and  blessed  wallet  and  our  aureoles round  our  neckkandcropfs  where  as  and  when Heavysciusgardaddy,  parent  who  offers  sweet- meats, will  gift  uns  his  Noblett's  surprize. Abnegation  is  With  this  laudable  purpose  in  loud  ability  let Adaptation,  us  be  singulfied.  Betwixt  nnie  and  thee  hung
cong.  Item,  mizpah  ends.
But  while  the  dial  are  they  doodling  dawd- ling over  the  mugs  and  the  grubs?  Oikey, Impostolopulos?^  Steady  steady  steady  steady steady  studiavimus.  Many  many  many  many many  manducabimus.^  We've  had  our  day  at  triv and  quad  and  writ  our  bit  as  intermidgets.  Art, literature,  politics,  economy,chemistry,  human- ity, &c.  Duty,  the  daughter  of  discipline,  the Great  Fire  at  the  South  City  Markets,  Belief  in Giants  and  the  Banshee,  A  Place  for  Every- thing and  Everything  in  its  Place,  Is  the  Pen Mightier  than  the  Sword?  A  Successful  Career in  the  Civil  Service,^  The  Voice  of  Nature  in the  Forest,*  Your  Favorite  Hero  or  Heroine, On  the  Benefits  of  Recreation,^  If  Standing Stones  Could  Speak,  Devotion  to  the  Feast  of the  Indulgence  of  Portiuncula,  The  Dublin Metropolitan  Police  Sports  at  Ballsbridge,  De- scribe in  Homely  Anglian  Monosyllables  the Wreck  of  the  Hesperus,^  What  Morals,  if  any, can  be  drawn  from  Diarmuid  and  Grania?^  Do Alcibiades.  you  Approve  of  our  Existing  Parliamentary
Lucretius,  System?  The  Uses  and  Abuses  of  Insects,  A
Cato. Nero,
Saul.  Aristotle. Julius  Caesar. Pericles. Ovid,
Adam,  Eve, Domitian,  Edipus,
Socrates. Ajax.
Homer.
MarcusAurelius.
ENTER  THE
COP  AND
HOW.
SECURES
GUBERNANT
URBIS
TERROREM.
^  The  divvy  wants  that  babbling  brook.  Dear  Auntie  Emma  Emma  Eates. 2  Strike  the  day  off,  the  nightcap's  on  nigh.  Goney,  goney  gone! ^  R.  C,  disengaged,  good  character,  would  help,  no  salary.
*  Where  Lily  is  a  Lady  found  the  nettle  rash.
*  Bubabipibambuli,  I  can  do  as  I  like  with  what's  me  own.  Nyamnyam. *•  Able  seaman's  caution.
'  Rarely  equal  and  distinct  in  all  things.
306
Id Em
Uk im.
fm kl lli 14.
im
Noah,  Plato, Horace,  Isaac, Tiresias, Marius, Diogenes, Procne,  Philo- mela, Abraham, Nestor,  Cincin- natus,  Leonidas, Jacob, Theocritus, Joseph,
Fabius,  Samson,
Cain,
Esop,
Prometheus,
I  Lot,  Pompeius  Magnus, Miltiades  Strategos, Solon,
Castor,  Pollux, Dionysius, Sappho. Moses,  Job, Catilina, Cadmus,  Eiekiel, Solomon,  Themistocles. Vitellius,  Darius.
Visit  to  Guinness'  Brewery,  Clubs,  Advan- tages of  the  Penny  Post,  When  is  a  Pun  not  a Pun?  Is  the  Co-Education  of  Animus  and Anima  Wholly  Desirable?^  What  Happened  at Clontarf?  Since  our  Brother  Johnathan  Signed the  Pledge  or  the  Meditations  of  Two  Young Spinsters,^  Why  we  all  Love  our  Little  Lord Mayor,  Hengler's  Circus  Entertainment,  On Thrift,^  The  Ketde-Griffith-Moynihan  Scheme for  a  New  Electricity  Supply,  Travelling  in  the Olden  Times,'*  American  Lake  Poetry,  the Strangest  Dream  that  was  ever  Halfdreamt.^ Circumspection,  Our  Allies  the  Hills,  Are Parnellites  Just  towards  Henry  Tudor?  Tell  a Friend  in  a  Chatty  Letter  the  Fable  of  the Grasshopper  and  the  Ant,^  Santa  Claus,  The Shame  of  Slumdom,  The  Roman  Pontiffs and  the  Orthodox  Churches,'  The  Thirty Hour  Week,  Compare  the  Fistic  Styles  of Jimmy  Wilde  and  Jack  Sharkey,  How  to Understand  the  Deaf,  Should  Ladies  learn Music  or  Mathematics?  Glory  be  to  Saint Patrick!  What  is  to  be  found  in  a  Dustheap, The  Value  of  Circumstantial  Evidence, Should  Spelling?  Outcasts  in  India,  Collecting Pewter,  Eu,^  Proper  and  Regular  Diet Necessity  For,^  If  You  Do  It  Do  It  Now.
^  Jests  and  the  Beastalk  with  a  little  rude  hiding  rod. ^  Wherry  like  the  whaled  prophet  in  a  spookeerie. ^  What  sins  is  pirn  money  sans  Paris?
*  I've  lost  the  place,  where  was  I?
^  Something  happened  that  time  I  was  asleep,  torn  letters  or  was  there snow?
®  Mich  for  his  pain,  Nick  in  his  past.
^  He  has  toglieresti  in  brodo  all  over  his  agrammatical  parts  of  face  and  as  for that  hippofoxphiz,  unlucky  number,  late  for  the  christening  1
^  Eh,  Monsieur?  Ou,  Monsieur?  Eu,  Monsieur?  Nenni  No,  Monsieur!
*  Ere  we  hit  the  hay,  brothers,  let's  have  that  response  to  prayer!
307
Xenophon,
Pantocracy. Bimutualism. Interchangeahil- ity.  Naturality, Superfetation, Stabimobilism, Periodicity, Consummation. Inter penetrative- ness.  Predicam- ent, Balance  of the  factual  by  the theoric  Boox  and Cooxy  Amallaga- mated.
Delays  are  Dangerous.  Vitavite!  Gobble Anne:  tea's  set,  see's  eneugh!  Mox  soonly will  be  in  a  split  second  per  the  chancellory of  his  exticker.
Aun
Do
Tri
Car
Cushi
Shay
Shockt
Ockt
Ni
Geg2
Their  feed  begins.
MAWMAW, LUK,  YOUR
beeeftay's
FIZZIN  over!
KAKAO-
POETIC LIPPUDENIES OF  THE UNGUMP- TIOUS.
NIGHTLETTER
With  our  best  youlldied  greedings  to  Pep and  Memmy  and  the  old  folkers  below  and beyant,  wishing  them  all  very  merry  Incar- nations in  this  land  of  the  livvey  and  plenty of  preprosperousness  through  their  coming new  yonks
from
jake,  jack  and  little  sousoucie (the  babes  that  mean  too)
*  Kish  is  for  anticheirst,  and  the  free  of  my  hand  to  him !
*  And  gags  for  skool  and  crossbuns  and  whopes  he'll  enjoyimsolff  over our  drawings  on  the  line!
308
It  may  not  or  maybe  a  no  concer^j  of  the  Guinnesses  but.
That  the  fright  of  his  light  in  tribalbalbutience  hides  aback  in the  doom  of  the  balk  of  the  deaf  but  that  the  height  of  his  life from  a  bride's  eye  stammpunct  is  when  a  man  that  means  a  moun- tain barring  his  distance  wades  a  lymph  that  plays  the  lazy  win- ning she  likes  yet  that  pride  that  bogs  the  party  begs  the  glory  of a  wake  while  the  scheme  is  like  your  rumba  round  me  garden, allatheses,  with  perhelps  the  prop  of  a  prompt  to  them,  was  now or  never  in  Etheria  Deserta,  as  in  Grander  Suburbia,  with  Finn- fannfawners,  ruric  or  cospolite,  for  much  or  moment  indispute.
Whyfor  had  they,  it  is  Hiberio-Miletians  and  Argloe-Noremen, donated  him,  birth  of  an  otion  that  was  breeder  to  sweatoslaves, as  mysterbolder,  forced  in  their  waste,  and  as  for  Ibdullin  what  of Himana,  that  their  tolvtubular  high  fidelity  daildialler,  as  modern as  tomorrow  afternoon  and  in  appearance  up  to  the  minute,  (hear- ing that  anybody  in  that  ruad  duchy  of  Wollinstown  schemed to  halve  the  wrong  type  of  date)  equipped  with  supershielded  um- brella antennas  for  distance  getting  and  connected  by  the  magnetic links  of  a  Bellini-Tosti  coupling  system  with  a  vitaltone  speaker, capable  of  capturing  skybuddies^  harbour  craft  emittences,  key clickings,  vaticum  cleaners,  due  to  woman  formed  mobile  or man_made  static  and  bawling  the  whowle  hamshack  and  wobble down  in  an  eliminium  sounds  pound  so  as  to  serve  him  up  a  mele- goturny  marygoraumd,  eclectrically  filtered  for  allirish  earths  and
309
ohmes.  This  harmonic  condenser  enginium  (the  Mole)  they caused  to  be  worked  from  a  magazine  battery  (called  the  Mimmim Bimbim  patent  number  1132,  Thorpetersen  and  Synds,  Joms- borg,  Selverbergen)  which  was  tuned  up  by  twintriodic  singul- valvulous  pipelines  (lackslipping  along  as  if  their  liffing  deepunded on  it)  with  a  howdrocephalous  enlargement,  a  gain  control  of circumcentric  megacycles,  ranging  from  the  antidulibnium  onto the  serostaatarean.  They  finally  caused,  or  most  leastways  brung  it about  somehows,  (that)  the  pip  of  the  lin  (to)  pinnatrate  inthro an  auricular  forfickle  (known  as  the  Vakingfar  sleeper,  mono- fractured  by  Piaras  UaRhuamhaighaudhlug,  tympan  founder, Eustache  Straight,  Bauliaughacleeagh)  a  meatous  conch  culpable of  cunduncing  Naul  and  Santry  and  the  forty  routs  of  Corthy with  the  concertiums  of  the  Brythyc  Symmonds  Guild,  the Ropemakers  Reunion,  the  Variagated  Peddlars  Barringoy  Bni- brthirhd,  the  Askold  Olegsonder  Crowds  of  the  O'Keef-Rosses and  Rhosso-Keevers  of  Zastwoking,  the  Ligue  of  Yahooth  o.s.v. so  as  to  lall  the  bygone  dozed  they  arborised  around,  up  his corpular  fruent  and  down  his  reuctionary  buckling,  hummer, enville  and  cstorrap  (the  man  of  Iren,  thore's  Curlymane  for you !),  lill  the  lubberendth  of  his  otological  life.
House  of  call  is  all  their  evenbreads  though  its  cartomance hallucinate  like  an  erection  in  the  night  the  mummery  of  whose deed,  a  lur  of  Nur,  immerges  a  mirage  in  a  merror,  for  it  is  where by  muzzinmessed  for  one  watthour,  bilaws  below,  till  time  jings pleas,  that  host  of  a  bottlefilled,  the  bulkily  hulkwight,  hunter's pink  of  face,  an  orel  orioled,  is  in  on  a  bout  to  be  unbulging  an o'connell's,  the  true  one,  all  seethic,  a  luckybock,  pledge  of  the stoup,  whilom  his  canterberry  bellseyes  wink  wickeding  indtil the  teller,  oyne  of  an  oustman  in  skull  of  skand.  Yet  is  it,  this ale  of  man,  for  him,  our  hubuljoynted,  just  a  tug  and  a  fistful  as for  Culsen,  the  Patagoreyan,  chieftain  of  chokanchuckers  and  his moyety  joyant,  under  the  foamer  dispensation  when  he  pullupped the  turfeycork  by  the  greats  of  gobble  out  of  Lougk  Neagk. When,  pressures  be  to  our  hoary  frother,  the  pop  gave  his  sullen bulletaction  and,  bilge,  sled  a  movement  of  catharic  emulsipotion
310
J.
SAM  , '  ( pj\<  ^f^^)
>00
f
7^
down  the  sloppery  slide  of  a  slaunty  to  tilted  lift-ye-landsmen. Allamin.  Which  in  the  ambit  of  its  orbit  heaved  a  sink  her  sailer alongside  of  a  drink  her  drainer  from  the  basses  brothers,  those two  theygottheres.
It  was  long  after  once  there  was  a  lealand  in  the  luffing  ore  it was  less  after  lives  thor  a  toyler  in  the  tawn  at  all  ohr  it  was  note before  he  drew  out  the  moddle  of  Kersse  by  jerkin  his  dressing but  and  or  it  was  not  before  athwartships  he  buttonhaled  the Norweeger's  capstan.  ^i^:^  i-'i^i'-  -  """^
So  he  sought  with  the  lobestir  claw  of  his  propencil  the  clue  of the  wickser  in  his  ear.  O,  lord  of  the  barrels,  comer  forth  from Anow  (I  have  not  mislaid  the  key  of  Efas-Taem),  O,  Ana,  bright lady,  comer  forth  from  Thenanow  (I  have  not  left  temptation  in the  path  of  the  sweeper  of  the  threshold),  O !
But  first,  strongbowth,  they  would  deal  death  to  a  drinking. Link  of  a  leadder,  dubble  in  it,  slake  your  thirdst  thoughts  awake with  it.  Our  svalyes  are  svalves  aroon!  We  rescue  thee,  O  Baass, from  the  damp  earth  and  honour  thee.  O  Connibell,  with  mouth burial!  So  was  done,  neat  and  trig.  Up  draught  and  whet them!
—  Then  sagd  he  to  the  ship's  husband.  And  in  his  translaten- tic  norjankeltian.  Hwere  can  a  ketch  or  hook  alive  a  suit  and  ry  F^6JT sowterkins.^  Soot!  sayd  the  ship's  husband,  knowing  the  language, here  is  tayleren.  Ashe  and  Whitehead,  closechop,  successor  to. Ahorror,  he  sayd,  canting  around  to  that  beddest  his  friend,  the tayler,  for  finixed  coulpure,  chunk  pulley  muchy  chink  topside  "^^^"^-^ numpa  one  sellafella^  fake  an  capstan  make  and  shoot !  Manning  to  -^^^^w
l^Vr  sayle  of  clothse  for  his  lady  her  master  whose  to  be  precised  of  a  ^  ^^^-^j^ peer  of  trouders  under  the  pattern  of  a  cassack.  Let  me  prove,  I pray  thee,  but  this  once,  sazd  Mengarments,  saving  the  mouth- brand  from  his  firepool.  He  spit  in  his  faist  (beggin):  he  tape  the raw  baste  (paddin):  he  planked  his  pledge  (as  dib  is  a  dab):  and  he tog  his  fringe  sleeve  (buthock  lad,  fur  whale).  Alloy  for  allay  and this  toolth  for  that  soolth.  Lick  it  and  like  it.  A  barter,  a  parter. And  plenty  good  enough,  neighbour  Norreys,  every  bit  and grain.  And  the  ship's  husband  brokecurst  after  him  to  hail  the
311  V/
^  lugger.  Stolp,  tief,  stolp,  come  bag  to  Moy  Eireann!  And  the ^ <2l       Norweeger's  capstan  swaradeed,  some  blowfish  out  of  schooling:
All  lykkehud !  Below  taiyor  he  ikan  heavin  sets.  But  they  brokenht^^^-^^*^ waters  and  they  made  whole  waters  at  they  surfered  bark  to  the lots  of  his  vauce.  And  aweigh  he  yankered  on  the  Norgean  run  so that  seven  sailend  sonnenrpunders  was  he  breastbare  to  the  brina- bath,  where  bottoms  out  has  fatthoms  full,  fram  Franz  Jose  \\(y<^ Land  til  Cabo  Thormendoso,  evenstarde  and  risingsoon.  Up  the Rivor  Tanneiry  and  down  the  Golfe  Desombres.  Farety  days  and fearty  nights.  Enjoy  yourself,  O  maremen!  And  the  tides  made, veer  and  haul,  and  the  times  marred,  rear  and  fall,  and,  holey bucket,  dipned  he  raign!
—  Hump!  Hump!  bassed  the  broaders-in-laugh  with  a  quick piddysnip  that  wee  halfbit  a  second.
— I  will  do  that,  sazd  Kersse,  mainingstaying  the  rigout  for  her wife's  lairdship.  Nett  sew.'*  they  hunched  back  at  the  earpicker.
But  old  sporty,  as  endth  lord,  in  ryehouse  reigner,  he  nought feared  crimp  or  cramp  of  shore  sharks,  plotsome  to  getsome.  It was  whol  niet  godthaab  of  errol  Loritz  off  his  Cape  of  Good Howthe  and  his  trippertrice  loretta  lady,  a  maomette  to  his monetone,  with  twy  twy  twinky  her  stone  hairpins,  only  not, if  not,  a  queen  of  Prancess  their  telling  tabled  who  was  for  his  —  "  > seeming  a  casket  through  the  heavenly,  nay,  heart  of  the  sweet (had  he  hows  would  he  keep  her  as  niece  as  a  fiddle!)  but  in  the meal  tub  it  was  wohl  yeas  sputsbargain  what,  rarer  of  recent,  an occasional  conformity,  he,  with  Muggleton  Muckers,  alwagers allalong  most  certainly  allowed,  as  pilerinnager's  grace  to  peti- tionists  of  right,  of  the  three  blend  cupstoomerries  with  their customed  spirits,  the  Gill  gob,  the  Burklley  bump,  the  Wallisey wanderlook,  having  their  ceilidhe  gailydhe  in  his  shaunty  irish. Group  drinkards  maaks  grope  thinkards  or  how  reads  rotary, jewr  of  a  chrestend,  respecting  the  otherdogs  churchees,  so  long plubs  will  be  plebs  but  plabs  by  low  frequency  amplification  may  ^ later  agree  to  have  another.  For  the  people  of  the  shed  are  the  ,^ ^-^e.  sure  ads  of  all  quorum.  Lorimers  and  leathersellers,  skinners  and salters,  pewterers  and  paperstainers,  parishclerks,  fletcherbowyers,
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girdlers,  mercers,  cordwainers  and  first,  and  not  last,  the  weavers. Our  library  he  is  hoping  to  ye  public,  f^^i^ Innholder,  upholder.
—  Sets  on  sayfohrt!  Go  to  it,  agitator!  they  bassabosuned  over the  flowre  of  their  hoose.  Godeown  moseys  and  skeep  thy  beeble bee!  -
—  I  will  do  that,  acordial,  by  mine  hand,  sazd  Kersse,  piece Cod,  and  in  the  flap  of  a  jacket,  ructified  after  his  nap  of  a  blankit their  o'cousin,  as  sober  as  the  ship's  husband  he  was  one  my  god- father when  he  told  me  saw  whileupon  I  am  now  well  and  jurily sagasfide  after  the  boonamorse  the  widower,  according  to  rider, following  pnomoneya,  he  is  consistently  blown  to  Adams.  So help  me  boyg  who  keeps  the  book !
Whereofter,  behest  his  suzerain  law  the  Thing  and  the  pilsener had  the  baar,  Recknar  Jarl,  (they  called  him  Roguenor,  Irl  call him)  still  passing  the  change-a-pennies,  pengeypigses,  a  several sort  of  coyne  in  livery,  pushed  their  whisper  in  his  hairing, (seemed,  a  some  shipshep's  sottovoxed  stalement,  a  dearagadye, to  hasvey  anyone  doing  duty  for  duff  point  of  dorkland  compors) the  same  to  the  good  ind  ast  velut  discharge  after  which  he  had exemptied  more  than  orphan  for  the  ballast  of  his  nurtural  life. And  threw  a  cast.  A  few  pigses  and  hare  you  are; and  no  chicking, tribune's  tribute,  if  you  guess  mimic  miening.  Meanly  in  his  lewd- brogue  take  your  tyon  coppels  token,  with  this  good  sixtric from  mine  runbag  of  juwels.  Nummers  that  is  summus  that  is toptip  that  is  bottombay  that  is  Twomeys  that  is  Digges  that  is Heres.  In  the  frameshape  of  hard  mettles.  For  we  all  would  fain make  glories.  It  is  minely  well  mint.
Thus  as  count  the  costs  of  liquid  courage,  a  buUyon  gauger, stowed  stivers  pengapung  in  bulk  in  hold  (fight  great  finnence ! brayvoh,  little  bratton!)  keen  his  kenning,  the  queriest  of  the crew,  with  that  fellow  fearing  for  his  own  misshapes,  should  he  be himpself  namesakely  a  foully  fallen  dissentant  from  the  peripu- lator,  sued  towerds  Meade- Reid  and  Lynn-Duff,  rubbing  the hodden  son  of  a  pookal,  leaden  be  light,  lather  be  dry  and  it  be drownd  on  all  the  ealsth  beside,  how  the  camel  and  where  the
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deiffel  or  when  the  finicking  or  why  the  funicking,  who  caused the  scaffolding  to  be  first  removed  you  give  orders,  Labeling, were  their  reidey  meade  answer  when  on  the  cutey  (the  cores- pondent) in  conflict  of  evidence  drew  a  kick  at  witness  but (missed)  and  for  whom  in  the  dyfflun*s  kiddy  removed  the planks  they  were  wanted,  boob.  '-^•^  t/^/ a  ch, Bump!  ^/  K(hf^^
Bothallchoractorschumminaroundgansumuminarumdrum- strumtruminahumptadumpwaultopoofoolooderamaunsturnup!
—  Did  do  a  dive,  aped  one.
—  Propellopalombarouter,  based  two.
—  Rutsch  is  for  rutterman  ramping  his  roe,  seed  three.  Where the  muddies  scrimm  ball.  Bimbim  bimbim.  And  the  maidies scream  all.  Himhim  himhim.
And  forthemore  let  legend  go  lore  of  it  that  mortar  scene  so cwympty  dwympty  what  a  dustydust  it  razed  arboriginally  but,  y luck's  leap  to  the  lad  at  the  top  of  the  ladder,  so  sartor's  risorted why  the  sinner  the  badder!  Ho  ho  ho  hoch!  La  la  la  lach!  Hillary rillarry  gibbous  grist  to  our  milleryl  A  pushpull,  qq:  quiescence, pp:  with  extravent  intervulve  coupling.  The  savest  lauf  in  the world.  Paradoxmutose  caring,  but  here  in  a  present  booth  of  Balla- clay,  Barthalamou,  where  their  dutchuncler  mynhosts  and  serves them  dram  well  right  for  a  boors'  interior  (homereek  van  hohm- ryk)  that  salve  that  selver  is  to  screen  its  auntey  and  has  ringround as  worldwise  eve  her  sins  (pip,  pip,  pip)  willpip  futurepip  feature apip  footloose  pastcast  with  spareshins  and  flash  substittles  of noirse-made-earsy  from  a  nephew  mind  the  narrator  but  give  the devil  his  so  long  as  those  sohns  of  a  blitzh  call  the  tm;in£_tuone  and thonder  alout  makes  the  thurd.  Let  there  be.  Due.        )  ,
—  That's  all  murtagh  purtagh  but  whad  ababs  his  dopter.^ sissed  they  who  were  onetime  ungkerls  themselves,  (when  the youthel  of  his  yorn  shook  the  bouchal  in  his  bed)  twilled  along- side in  wiping  the  rice  assatiated  with  their  wetting.  The  lappel of  his  size.^  His  ros  in  sola  velnere  and  he  sicckumed  of  homnis terrars.  She  wends  to  scoulas  in  her  slalpers.  There  were  no  pea- nats  in  her  famalgia  so  no  wumble  she  tumbled  for  his  famas
JudL  A^r
(^roalls  davors.  Don't  him  forget!  A  butcheler  artsed  out  of  Cullege Trainity.  Diddled  he  daddle  a  drop  of  the  cradler  on  delight mebold  laddy  was  stetched?  Knit  wear?  And  they  addled,  (or ere  the  cry  of  their  tongues  would  be  uptied  dead)  Shufflebotham asidled,  plus  his  ducks  fore  his  drills,  an  inlay  of  a  liddle  more lining  maught  be  licensed  all  at  ones,  be  these  same  tokens,  for- giving a  brass  rap,  sneither  a  whole  length  nor  a  short  shift  so full  as  all  were  concerned.  i
Burniface,  shjply  efter,  shoply  after,  at  an  angle  of  lag,  let  flow, brabble  brabble  and  brabble,  and  so  hostily,  heavyside  breathing, came  up  with  them  and,  check  me  joule,  shot  the  three  tailors, butting  back  to  Moyle  herring,  bump  as  beam  and  buttend,  roller  i'  ^^Ta  iji^ and  reiter,  after  the  diluv's  own  deluge,  the  seasant  samped  as skibber  breezed  in,  tripping,  dripping,  threw  the  sheets  in  the wind,  the  tights  of  his  trunks  at  tickle  to  tackle  and  his  rubmelucky truss  rehorsing  the  pouffed  skirts  of  his  overhawl.  He'd  left  his stickup  in  his  hand  to  show  them  none  ill  feeling.  Whatthough  for all  appentices  it  had  a  mushroom  on  it.  While  he  faced  them front  to  back.  Then  paraseuls  round,  quite  taken  atack,  sclaiming, Howe  cools  Eavybrolly!
—  Good  marrams,  sagd  he,  freshwatties  and  boasterdes  all,  as he  put  into  bierhiven,  nogeysokey  first,  cabootle  segund,  jilling to  windwards,  as  he  made  straks  for  that  oerasound  the  snarsty  weg for  Publin,  so  was  his  horenpipe  lug  in  the  lee  off  their  mouths organs,  with  his  tilt  too  taut  for  his  tammy  all  a  slaunter  and  his wigger  on  a  wagger  with  its  tag  tucked.  Up.  With  a  good  easter- ing  and  a  good  westering.  And  he  asked  from  him  how  the  hitch did  do  this  my  fand  sulkers  that  mone  met  the  Kidballacks  which he  suttonly  remembered  also  where  the  hatch  was  he  endnew strandweys  he's  that  fond  sutchenson,  a  penincular  fraimd  of mind,  fordeed  he  was  langseling  to  talka  holt  of  hems,  clown toff,  tye  hug  fliorten.  Cablen:  Clifftop.  Shelvling  tobay  oppe- long  tomeadow.  Ware  cobbles.  Posh.
—  Skibbereen  has  common  inn,  by  pounautique,  with  poke- way  paw,  and  sadder  raven  evermore,  telled  shinshanks  lauwering frankish  for  his  kicker  who,  through  the  medium  of  gallic
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—  Pukkelsen,  tilltold.
That  with  some  our  prowed  invisors  how  their  ulstravoliance  led them  infroraids,  striking  down  and  landing  alow,  against  our aerian  insulation  resistance,  two  boards  that  beached  ast  one,  wid- ness  thane  and  tysk  and  hanry.  Prepatrickularly  all,  they  summed. Kish  met.  Bound  to.  And  for  landlord,  noting,  nodding,  a  coast to  moor  was  cause  to  mear.  Besides  proof  plenty,  over  proof. While  they  either  took  a  heft.  Or  the  other  swore  his  eric.  Heaved two,  spluiced  the  menbrace.  Heirs  at  you,  Brewinbaroon!  Weth a  whistle  for  methanks.
—  Good  marrams  and  good  merrymills,  sayd  good  mothers gossip,  bobbing  his  bowing  both  ways  with  the  bents  and  skerries, when  they  were  all  in  the  old  walled  of  Kinkincaraborg  (and  that they  did  overlive  the  hot  air  of  Montybunkum  upon  the  coal blasts  of  Mitropolitos  let  there  meeds  be  the  hourihom),  hibernia- ting  after  seven  oak  ages,  fearsome  where  they  were  he  had  gone dump  in  the  doomering  this  tide  where  the  peixies  would  pickle him  down  to  the  button  of  his  seat  and  his  sess  old  soss  Erinly into  the  boelgein  with  the  help  of  Divy  and  Jorum's  locquor  and
f'^L  shut  the  door  after  him  to  make  a  rarely  fine  Ran's  cattle  of  fish. Morya  Mortimor!  Allapalla  overus!  Howoft  had  the  ballshee tried!  And  they  laying  low  for  his  home  gang  in  that  eeriebleak mead,  with  fireball  feast  and  turkeys  tumult  and  paupers  patch to  provide  his  bum  end.  The  foe  things  your  niggerhead  needs to  be  fitten  for  the  Big  Water.  He  made  the  sign  of  the  ham- mer. God's  drought,  he  sayd,  after  a  few  daze,  thinking  of  all those  bliakings,  how  leif  pauses !  Here  you  are  back  on  your  haw- kins,  from  Blasil  the  Brast  to  our  povotogesus  portocall,  the  furt on  the  turn  of  the  hurdles,  slave  to  trade,  vassal  of  spices  and  a dragon-the-market,  and  be  turbot,  lurch  a  stripe,  as  were  you soused  methought  out  of  the  mackerel.  Eldsfells!  sayd  he.  A kumpavin  on  iceslant !  Here's  open  handlegs  for  one  old  faulker from  the  hame  folk  here  in  you's  booth!  So  sell  me  gundy,  sagd the  now  waging  cappon,  with  a  warry  posthumour's  expiation, shoots  ogos  shootsle  him  or  where's  that  slob.'^  A  bit  bite  of keesens,  he  sagd,  til  Dennis,  for  this  jantar  (and  let  the  dobblins
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roast  perus,)  or  a  stinger,  he  sagd,  t.  d,,  on  a  doroughbread  ken- nedy's  for  Patriki  San  Saki  on  svo  fro  or  my  old  relogion's  out of  tiempor  and  when  I'm  soured  to  the  tipple  you  can  sink  me lead,  he  sagd,  and,  if  I  get  can,  sagd  he,  a  pusspull  of  tomtar- tarum.  Thirst  because  homing  hand  give.  Allkey  dallkey,  sayd the  shop's  housebound,  for  he  was  as  deep  as  the  north  star  (and could  tolk  sealer's  solder  into  tankar's  tolder)  as  might  have  sayd every  man  to  his  beast,  and  a  treat  for  the  trading  scow,  my  cater million  falls  to  you  and  crop  feed  a  stall !  Afram.  And  he  got  and gave  the  ekspedient  for  Hombreyhambrey  wilcomer  what's  the good  word.  He  made  the  sign  on  the  feaster.  Cloth  be  laid !  And a  disk  of  osturs  for  the  swanker!  Allahballah!  He  was  the  care- lessest  man  I  ever  see  but  he  sure  had  the  most  sand.  One  fish- ball  with  fixings !  For  a  dan  of  a  ven  of  a  fin  of  a  son  of  a  gun  of a  gombolier.  Ekspedient,  sayd  he,  sonnur  mine,  Shackleton  Sul- ten!  Opvarts  and  at  ham,  or  this  ogry  Osier  will  oxmaul  us  all, sayd  he,  like  one  familiar  to  the  house,  while  Waldemar  was heeling  it  and  Maldemaer  was  toeing  it,  soe  syg  he  was  walking from  the  bowl  at  his  food  and  the  meer  crank  he  was  waiting  for the  tow  of  his  turn.  Till  they  plied  him  behaste  on  the  fare.  Say wehrn!
—  Nohow  did  he  kersse  or  hoot  alike  the  suit  and  solder  skins,  \ minded  first  breachesmaker  with  considerable  way  on  and  /
—  Humpsea  dumpsea,  the  munchantman,  secondsnipped  cutter the  curter.
— A  ninth  for  a  ninth.  Take  my  worth  from  it.  And  no  mistaenk, they  thricetold  the  taler  and  they  knew  the  whyed  for  too.  The because  of  his  sosuch.  Uglymand  fit  himshemp  but  throats  fill  us all!  And  three's  here's  for  repeat  of  the  unium!  Place  the  scaurs wore  on  your  groot  big  bailey  bill,  he  apullajibed,  the  O' Colonel Power,  latterly  distented  from  the  O' Conner  Dan,  so  promonitory himself  that  he  was  obliffious  of  the  headth  of  hosth  that  rosed before  him,  from  Sheeroskouro,  under  its  zembliance  of  mardal mansk,  like  a  dun  darting  dullemitter,  with  his  moultain  haares stuck  in  plostures  upon  it,  (do  you  kend  yon  peak  with  its  coast  so green .'^)  still  trystfully  acape  for  her  his  gragh  knew  well  in  pre-
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cious  memory  and  that  proud  grace  to  her,  in  gait  a  movely  water, of  smile  a  coolsome  cup,  with  that  rarefied  air  of  a  Montmalency and  her  quick  little  breaths  and  her  climbing  colour.  Take  thee live  will  save  thee  wive?  I'll  think  uplon,  lilady.  Should  anerous enthroproise  call  homovirtue,  duinnafear!  The  ghem's  to  the ghoom  be  she  nere  zo  zma.  Obsit  nemon!  Floodlift,  her  ancient of  rights  regaining,  so  yester  yidd,  even  remembrance.  And greater  grown  then  in  the  trifle  of  her  days,  a  mouse,  a  mere tittle,  trots  off  with  the  whole  panoromacron  picture.  Her  young- free  yoke  stilling  his  wandercursus,  jilt  the  spin  of  a  curl  and  jolt the  broadth  of  a  buoy.  The  Annexandreian  captive  conquest. Ethna  Prettyplume,  Hooghly  Spaight.  Him  her  first  lap,  her  his fast  pal,  for  ditcher  for  plower,  till  deltas  twoport.  While  this glowworld's  lump  is  gloaming  off  and  han  in  hende  will  grow. Through  simpling  years  where  the  lowcasts  have  aten  of  amilikan honey  and  datish  fruits  and  a  bannock  of  barley  on  Tham  the Thatcher's  palm.  O  wanderness  be  wondernest  and  now!  Listen- eath  to  me,  veils  of  Mina !  He  would  withsay,  nepertheloss,  that is  too  me  mean.  I  oldways  did  me  walsh  and  preechup  ere  we  set to  sope  and  fash.  Now  eats  the  vintner  over  these  contents  oft with  his  sad  slow  munch  for  backonham.  Yet  never  shet  it  the brood  of  aurowoch,  not  for  legions  of  donours  of  Gamuels.  I have  performed  the  law  in  truth  for  the  lord  of  the  law,  Taif Alif.  I  have  held  out  my  hand  for  the  holder  of  my  heart  in  Anna- polis, my  youthrib  city.  Be  ye  then  my  protectors  unto  Mussa- botomia  before  the  guards  of  the  city.  Theirs  theres  is  a  gentle- meants  agreement.  Womensch  plodge.  To  slope  through  heather till  the  foot.  Join  Andersoon  and  Co.  If  the  flowers  of  speech valed  the  springs  of  me  rising  the  hiker  I  hilltapped  the  murk  I mist  my  blezzard  way.  Not  a  knocker  on  his  head  nor  a  nick- number  on  the  manyoumeant.  With  that  coldtbrundt  natteldster wefting  stinks  from  Alpyssinia,  wooving  nihilnulls  from  Memo- land  and  wolving  the  ulvertones  of  the  voice.  But  his  spectrem onlymergeant  crested  from  the  irised  sea  in  plight,  calvitousness, loss,  nngnr,  gliddinyss,  unwill  and  snorth.  It  might  have  been what  you  call  your  change  of  my  life  but  there's  the  chance  of  a
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night  for  my  lifting.  Hillyhollow,  valleylow!  With  the  sounds and  the  scents  in  the  morning.  <^o^jk4.e\
—  I  shot  be  shoddied,  throttle  me,  fine  me  cowheel  for  ever, usquebauched  the  ersewild  aleconner,  for  bringing  briars  to  Bem- bracken  and  ringing  rinbus  round  Demetrius  for,  as  you  wrinkle wryghtly,  bully  bluedomer,  it's  a  suirsite's  stircus  haunting  hes- teries  round  old  volcanoes.  We  gin  too  gnir  and  thus  plinary indulgence  makes  collemullas  of  us  all.  But  Time  is  for  talerman tasting  his  tap.  Tiptoptap,  Mister  Maut.
He  made  one  summery  (Cholk  and  murble  in  lonestime)  of  his the  three  swallows  like  he  was  muzzling  Moselems  and  torched up  as  the  faery  pangeant  fluwed  down  the  hisophenguts,  a  slake for  the  quicklining,  to  the  tickle  of  his  tube  and  the  twobble  of his  fable,  O,  fibbing  once  upon  a  spray  what  a  queer  and  queasy spree  it  was.  Plumped.
Which  both  did.  Prompt.  Eh,  chrystal  holder.'^  Save  Ampster- dampster  that  had  rheumaniscences  in  his  netherlumbs.
—  By  the  drope  in  his  groin,  Ali  Slupa,  thinks  the  cappon, plumbing  his  liners,  we  were  heretofore.
—  And  be  the  coop  of  his  gobbos,  Reacher  the  Thaurd,  thinks your  girth  fatter,  apopo  of  his  buckseaseilers,  but  where's  Horace's courtin  troopsers.^
—  I  put  hem  behind  the  oasthouse,  sagd  Pukkelsen,  tuning wound  on  the  teller,  appeased  to  the  cue,  that  double  dyode dealered,  and  he's  wallowing  awash  swill  of  the  Tarra  water.  And it  marinned  down  his  gargantast  trombsathletic  like  the  marousers  of the  gulpstroom.  The  kersse  of  Wolafs  on  him,  shitateyar,  he  sagd  in the  fornicular,  and,  at  weare  or  not  at  weare,  I'm  sigen  no  stretcher, for  I  carsed  his  murhersson  goat  in  trotthers  with  them  newbuckle- noosers  behigh  in  the  fire  behame  in  the  oasthouse.  Hops !  sagd  he.
—  Smoke  and  coke  choke !  lauffed  till  the  tear  trickled  drown  a thigh  the  loafers  all  but  a  sheep's  whosepants  that  swished  to  the lord  he  hadn't  and  the  starer  his  story  was  tailed  to  who  felt  that, the  fierifornax  being  thurst  on  him  motophosically,  as  Omar sometime  notes,  such  a  satuation,  debauchly  to  be  watched  for, would  empty  dempty  him  down  to  the  ground.
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—  And  hopy  dope !  sagd  he,  anded  the  enderer,  now  dyply hypnotised  or  hopeseys  doper  himself.  And  kersse  him,  sagd  he, after  inunder  tarrapoulling,  and  the  shines  he  cuts,  shinar,  the screeder,  the  stitchimesnider,  adepted  to  nosestorsioms  in  his budinholder,  cummanisht,  sagd  he,  (fouyoufoukou!)  which  goes in  the  ways  smooking  publics,  sagd  he,  bomboosting  to  be  in
p^,^lc>^  thelitest  civille  row  faction  for  a  dubblebrasterd  navvygaiterd,
(flick  off  that  hvide  aske,  big  head !)  sagd  he,  the  big  bag  of  my hamd  till  hem,  tollerloon,  sagd  he,  with  his  pudny  bun  brofkost when  he  waits  meet  the  bangd.  I  will  put  his  fleas  of  wood  in  the flour,  and  he  sagd,  behunt  on  the  oatshus,  the  not  wellmade  one, sagd  he,  the  kersse  of  my  armsore  appal  this  most  unmentionablest of  men  (mundering  eeriesk,  if  he  didn't  scalded  him  all  the shimps  names  in  his  gitter!)  a  coathemmed  gusset  sewer,  sagd  he, his  first  cudgin  is  an  innvalet  in  the  unitred  stables  which  is  not feed  tonights  a  kirtle  offal  fisk  and  he  is  that  woe  worstered wastended  shootmaker  whatever  poked  a  noodle  in  a  clouth! ,  '  So  for  the  second  tryon  all  the  meeting  of  the  acarras  had  it.
How  he  hised  his  bungle  oar  his  shourter  and  cut  the  pinter  off  his pourer  and  lay  off  for  Fellagulphia  in  the  farning.  From  his dhruimadhreamdhrue  back  to  Brighten-pon-the-Baltic,  from  our lund's  rund  turs  bag  til  threathy  hoeres  a  wuke.  Ugh!
—  Stuff,  Taaffe,  stuff!  interjoked  it  his  wife's  hopesend  to  the , '  \       boath  of  them  consistently.  Copie  back  to  May  Aileen.
—  lid  luck  to  it!  blastfumed  the  nowraging  scamptail,  in  flating furies  outs  trews  his  cammelskins,  the  flashlight  of  his  ire  wacker- ing  from  the  eye  winker  on  his  masttop.  And  aye  far  he  fared  from Afferik  Arena  and  yea  near  he  night  till  Blawland  Bearring, baken  be  the  brazen  sun,  buttered  be  the  snows.  And  the  sea shoaled  and  the  saw  squalled.  And,  soaking  scupper,  didn't  he drain  ,
A  pause.  •  ^  r,  /       ,  er-^
Infernal  machinery  (serial  number;  BuUysacre,  dig  care  a  dig) having  thus  passed  the  buck  to  billy  back  from  jack  (finder  the keeper)  as  the  baffling  yarn  sailed  in  circles  it  was  now  high  tide for  the  reminding  pair  of  snipers  to  be  suitably  punished  till  they
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/
had,  like  the  pervious  oelkenner  done,  liquorally  no  more  powers to  their  elbow.  Ignorinsers'  bliss,  therefore,  their  not  to  say  rifle f^fip  c<  ■  butt  target,  none  too  wisefoUy,  poor  fish,  (he  is  eating,  he  is  spun, is  milked,  he  dives)  upholding  a  lampthorne  of  lawstift  as  wand of  welcome  to  all  men  in  bonafay,  (and  the  corollas  he  so  has saved  gainsts  the  virus  he  has  thus  injected !)  dijcoastedself  to  that kipsie  point  of  its  Dublin  bar  there,  breaking  and  entering,  from  the outbagk's  dead  heart,  Glasthule  Bourne  or  Boehernapark  Nolagh, by  wattsismade  or  bianconi,  astraylians  in  island,  a  wellknown tall  hat  blown  in  between  houses  by  a  nightcap  of  that  silk  or  it might  be  a  black  velvet  and  a  kiber  galler  dragging  his  hunker, were  signalling  gael  warnings  towards  Wazwollenzee  Haven  to give  them  their  beerings,  east  circular  route  or^^gant^jcentral highway.  Open,  'tis  luck  will  have  it!  Lifeboat  AUoe,  Noeman's Woe,  Hircups  Emptybolly !  With  winkles  whelks  and  cocklesent f\V3^  jelks.  Let  be  buttercup  eve  lit  by  night  in  the  Phoenix!  Music. And  old  lotts  have  funn  at  Flarjimagen's  ball.  Till  Irinwakes  from Slumber  Deep.  How  they  succeeded  by  courting  daylight  in saving  darkness  he  who  loves  will  see. Business.  His  bestness.  Copeman  helpen. Contrescene.  /4  ^/&-
^  He  cupped  his  yea^  to  catch  me's  to  y^  in  what's  yours  as minest  to  hissent,  giel  as  gail,  geil  as  gaul,  Odorozone,  now  our- menial  servent,  blanding  rum,  milk  and  toddy  with  I  hand  it to  you.  Saying  whiches,  see  his  bow  on  the  hapence,  with  a  pat- tedyr  but  digit  here,  he  scooped  the  hens,  hounds  and  horses biddy  by  bunny,  with  an  arc  of  his  covethand,  saved  from  the drohnings  they  might  oncounter,  untill  his  cubid  long,  to  hide  in dry.  Aside.  Your  sows  tin  the  topple,  dodgers,  trink  me  dregs! Zoot!
And  with  the  gust  of  a  spring  alice  the  fossickers  and  swaggelers with  him  on  the  hoof  from  down  under  piked  forth  desert  roses  in that  muUigar  scrub.
Reenter  Ashe  Junior.  Peiwei  toptip,  nankeen  pontdelounges. Gives  fair  day.  Cheroot.  Cheevio! Off.
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— Take  off  thatch  whitehat  (lo,  Kersse  come  in  back  bespoking of  loungeon  off  the  Boildawl  stuumplecheats  for  rushirishis  Irush- Irish,  dangieling  his  old  Conan  over  his  top  gallant  shouldier  so was,  lao  yiu  shao,  he's  like  more  look  a  novicer  on  the  nevay).
—  Tick  off  that  whilehot,  you  scum  of  a  botch,  (of  Kersse  who, as  he  turned  out,  alas,  hwen  ching  hwan  chang,  had  been  mocking his  hollaballoon  a  sample  of  the  costume  of  the  country).
—  Tape  oaf  that  saw  fouU  and  sew  wrong,  welsher,  you  suck  of a  thick,  stock  and  the  udder,  and  confiteor  yourself  (for  bekersse he  had  cuttered  up  and  misfutthered  in  the  most  multiplest manner  for  that  poor  old  bridge's  masthard  slouch  a  shook  of cloakses  the  wise,  hou  he  pouly  hung  hoang  tseu,  his  own  fitther couldn't  nose  him).
Chorus:  With  his  coate  so  graye.  And  his  pounds  that  he pawned  from  the  burning.
—  And,  haikon  or  hurlin,  who  did  you  do  at  doyle  today,  my horsey  dorksey  gentryman.  Serge  Mee,  suit!  sazd  he,  tersey  ker- sey. And  when  Tersse  had  sazd  this  Kersse  stood  them  the  whole koursse  of  training  how  the  whole  blazy  raze  acurraghed,  from lambkinsback  to  sliving  board  and  from  spark  to  phoenish.  And he  tassed  him  tartly  and  he  sassed  him  smartly,  tig  for  tager,  strop for  stripe,  as  long  as  there's  a  lyasher  on  a  kyat.  And  they  peered him  beheld  on  the  pyre.
And  it  was  so.  Behold.
—  Same  capman  no  nothing  horces  two  feller  he  feller  go where.  Isn't  that  effect.'^  gig  for  gag,  asked  there  three  newcom- mers  till  knockingshop  at  the  ones  upon  a  topers  who,  while  in admittance  to  that  impedance,  as  three  as  they  were  there,  they  had been  malttreating  themselves  to  their  health's  contempt.
—  That's  fag  for  fig,  metinkus,  confessed,  mhos  for  mhos,  those who,  would  it  not  be  for  that  dielectrick,  were  upon  the  point  of obsoletion,  and  at  the  brink  of  from  the  pillary  of  the  Nilsens  and from  the  statutes  of  the  Kongbullies  and  from  the  milestones  of Ovlergroamlius  libitate  nos,  Domnial!
—  And  so  culp  me  goose,  he  sazd,  szed  the  ham  muncipated  of the  first  course,  recoursing,  all  cholers  and  coughs  with  his  beauw
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on  the  bummell,  tlie  bugganeering  wanderducken,  he  sazd,  (that his  pumps  may  ship  awhoyle  shandymound  of  the  dussard),  the coarsehair  highsaydighsayman,  there's  nice  tugs  he  looks,  (how you  was,  Ship  Alouset?)  he  sazd,  the  bloedaxe  bloodooth  baltxe- bec,  that  is  crupping  into  our  raw  lenguage  navel  through  the lumbsmall  of  his  hawsehole,  he  sazd,  donconfounder  him,  voyag- ing after  maidens,  belly  jonah  hunting  the  polly  joans,  and  the hurss  of  all  portnoysers  befaddle  him,  he  sazd,  till  I  split  in  his  flags, he  sazd,  one  to  one,  the  landslewder,  after  Donnerbruch  fire. Reefer  was  a  wenchman.  One  can  smell  off  his  wetsments  how  he is  coming  from  a  beach  of  promisck.  Where  is  that  old  muttiny, shall  I  ask?  Free  kicks  he  will  have  from  me,  turncoats,  in  Bar Hartley  if  I  wars  a  fewd  years  ago.  Meistr  Capteen  Gaascooker,  a salestrimmer!  As  he  was  soampling  me  ledder,  like  pulp,  and  as I  was  trailing  his  fumbelums,  like  hulp,  he'll  fell  the  fall  of  me faus,  he  sazd,  like  yulp!  The  goragorridgorballyed  pushkalsson, he  sazd,  with  his  bellows  pockets  fulled  of  potchtatos  and  his  fox in  a  stomach,  a  disagrees  to  his  ramskew  coddlelecherskithers' zirkuvs,  drop  down  dead  and  deaf,  and  there  is  never  a  teilwrmans in  the  feof  fife  of  Iseland  or  in  the  wholeabelongd  of  Skunkinabory from  Drumadunderry  till  the  rumnants  of  Mecckrass,  could  milk a  colt  in  thrushes  foran  furrow  follower  width  that  a  hole  in  his tale  and  that  hell  of  a  hull  of  a  hill  of  a  camelump  bakk.  Fadgest- fudgist!
Upon  this  dry  call  of  selenium  cell  (that  horn  of  lunghalloon, Riland's  in  peril!)  with  its  doomed  crack  of  the  old  damn  ukonnen  & power  insound  in  it  the  lord  of  the  saloom,  as  if  for  a  flash  sala- magunnded  himself,  listed  his  tummelumpsk  pack  and  hearinat presently  returned  him,  ambilaterally  alleyeoneyesed,  from  their uppletoned  layir  to  his  beforetime  guests,  that  bunch  of  palers  on their  round,  timemarching  and  petrolling  how,  who  if  they  were abound  to  loose  a  laugh  (Toni  Lampi,  you  booraascal !)  they  were abooned  to  let  it  as  the  leashed  they  might  do  when  they  felt  (O, the  wolf  he's  on  the  walk,  sees  his  sham  cram  bokk!)  their  joke was  coming  home  to  them,  the  steerage  way  for  stabling,  ghus- torily  spoeking,  gen  and  gang,  dane  and  dare,  like  the  dud  spuk
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of  his  first  foetotype  (Trolldedroll,  how  vary  and  likely!),  the  filli- bustered,  the  fully  bellied.  With  the  old  sit  in  his  shoulders,  and the  new  satin  atlas  onder  his  uxter,  erning  his  breadth  to  the  swelt of  his  proud  and,  picking  up  the  emberose  of  the  lizod  lights,  his tail  toiled  of  spume  and  spawn,  and  the  bulk  of  him,  and  hulk  of him  as  whenever  it  was  he  reddled  a  ruad  to  riddle  a  rede  from  the sphinxish  pairc  while  Ede  was  a  guardin,  ere  love  a  side  issue. They  hailed  him  cheeringly,  their  encient,  the  murrainer,  and wallruse,  the  merman,  ye  seal  that  lubs  you  lassers,  Thallasee  or Tullafilmagh,  when  come  of  uniform  age.
—  Heave,  coves,  emptybloddy!
And  ere  he  could  catch  or  hook  or  line  to  suit  their  saussyskins, the  lumpenpack.  Underbund  was  overraskelled.  As
—  Sot!  sod  the  tailors  opsits  from  their  gabbalots,  change  all that  whole  set.  Shut  down  and  shet  up.  Our  set,  our  set's allohn.
And  they  poured  em  behoiled  on  the  fire.  Scaald!
Rowdiose  wodhalooing.  Theirs  is  one  lessonless  missage  for good  and  truesirs.  Will  any  persen  bereaved  to  be  passent  bring- back  or  rumpart  to  the  Hoved  politymester.  Clontarf,  one  love, one  fear.  Ellers  for  the  greeter  glossary  of  code,  callen  hom: Finucane-Lee,  Finucane-Law.
Am.  Dg.
Welter  focussed.
Wind  from  the  nordth.  Warmer  towards  mufiinbell.  Lull.
As  our  revelant  Colunnfiller  predicted  in  last  mount's  chattiry sermon,  the  allexpected  depression  over  Schiumdinebbia,  a  bygger muster  of  veirying  precipitation  and  haralded  by  faugh  sicknells, (hear  kokkenhovens  ekstras!)  and  umwalloped  in  an  unusuable suite  of  clouds,  having  filthered  through  the  middelhav  of  the same  gorgers'  kennel  on  its  wage  wealthwards  and  incursioned  a sotten  retch  of  low  pleasure,  missed  in  some  parts  but  with  lucal drizzles,  the  outlook  for  tomarry  (Streamstress  Mandig)  beamed brider,  his  ability  good.
What  hopends  to  they?
Giant  crash  in  Aden.  Birdflights  confirm  abbroaching  nub-
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tials.  Burial  of  Lifetenant-Groevener  Hatchett,  R.I.D.  Devine's Previdence. Ls.  De.
Art  thou  gainous  sense  uncompetite!  Limited.  Anna  Lynchya Pourable !  One  and  eleven.  United  We  Stand,  even  many  offered. Don't  forget.  I  wish  auspicable  thievesdayte  for  the  stork  dyrby. It  will  be  a  thousand's  a  won  paddies.  And  soon  to  bet.  On  drums of  bliss.  With  hapsalap  troth,  hipsalewd  prudity,  hopesalot  hon- nessy,  hoopsaloop  luck.  After  when  from  midnights  unwards  the fourposter  harp  quartetto.  (Kiskiviikko,  Kalastus.  Torstaj,  tanssia. Perjantaj,  peleja.  Lavantaj  ja  Sunnuntaj,  christianismus  kirjallisuus, kirjallisuus  christianismus.)  Whilesd  this  pellover  his  finnisch.
—  Comither,  ahorace,  thou  mighty  man  of  valour,  elderman adaptive  of  Capel  Ysnod,  and  tsay-fong  tsei-foun  a  laun  bricks- number  till  I've  fined  you  a  faulter-in-law,  to  become  your  son- to-be,  gentlemens  tealer,  generalman  seelord,  gosse  and  bosse, hunguest  and  horasa,  jonjemsums  both,  in  sailsmanship,  szed  the head  marines  talebearer,  then  sayd  the  ships  gospfather  in  the  scat story  to  the  husband's  capture  and  either  you  does  or  he  musts and  this  moment  same,  sayd  he,  so  let  laid  pacts  be  being  betving ye,  he  sayd,  by  my  main  makeshift,  he  sayd,  one  fisk  and  one  flesk, as  flat  as,  Aestmand  Addmundson  you,  you're  iron  slides  and  so hompety  domp  as  Paddley  Mac  Namara  here  he's  a  hardy  canooter, for  the  two  breasts  of  Banba  are  her  soilers  and  her  toilers,  if  thou wilt  serve  Idyall  as  thou  hast  sayld.  Brothers  Boathes,  brothers Coathes,  ye  have  swallen  blooders'  oathes.  And  Gophar  sayd  unto Glideon  and  sayd  he  to  the  nowedding  captain,  the  rude  hunner- able  Humphrey,  who  was  praying  god  of  clothildies  by  the  seven bosses  of  his  trunktarge  he  would  save  bucklesome  when  she wooed  belove  on  him,  comeether,  sayd  he,  my  merrytime  mare- lupe,  you  wutan  whaal,  sayd  he,  into  the  shipfolds  of  our  quad- rupede  island,  bless  madhugh,  mardyk,  luusk  and  cong!  Blass Neddos  bray!  And  no  more  of  your  maimed  acts  after  this  with your  kowtoros  and  criados  to  every  tome,  thick  and  heavy,  and our  onliness  of  his  revelance  to  your  ultitude.  The  illfollowable staying  in  wait  for  you  with  the  winning  word  put  into  his  mouth
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or  be  the  hooley  tabell,  as  Horrocks  Toler  hath  most  cares  to  call it,  I'll  rehearse  your  comeundermends  and  first  mardhyr  you  en- tirely. As  puck  as  that  Paddeus  picked  the  pun  and  left  the  lollies off  the  foiled.  A  Trinity  judge  will  crux  your  boom.  Pat  is  the man  for  thy.  Ay  ay!  And  he  pured  him  beheild  of  the  ouishguss, mingling  a  sign  of  the  cruisk.  I  popetithes  thee,  Ocean,  sayd  he, Oscarvaughther,  sayd  he,  Erievikkingr,  sayd  he,  intra  trifum triforium  trifoliorum,  sayd  he,  onconditionally,  forfor  furst  of  giel- gaulgalls  and  hero  chief  explunderer  of  the  clansakiltic,  sayd  he, the  streameress  mastress  to  the  sea  aase  cuddycoalman's  and  let this  douche  for  you  as  a  wholly  apuzzler's  and  for  all  the  puk- kaleens  to  the  wakes  of  you,  sayd  he,  out  of  the  hellsinky  of  the howtheners  and  be  danned  to  ye,  sayd  he,  into  our  roomyo  con- nellic  relation,  sayd  he,  from  which  our  this  pledge  is  given,  Tera truly  ternatrine  if  not  son  towards  thousand  like  expect  chrisan athems  to  which  I  osker  your  godhsbattaring,  saelir,  for  as  you gott  kvold  whereafter  a  gooden  diggin  and  with  gooder  enscure from  osion  buck  fared  agen  fairioes  feuded  hailsohame  til  Edar in  that  the  loyd  mave  hercy  on  your  sael!  Anomyn  and  awer. Spickinusand.
—  Nansense,  you  snorsted.'^  he  was  haltid  considerable  agenst all  religions  overtrow  so  hworefore  the  thokkurs  pokker  the  big- bug  miklamanded  storstore  exploder  would  he  be  whulesalesolde daadooped  by  Priest  Gudfodren  of  the  sacredhaunt  suit  in Diaeblen-Balkley  at  Domnkirk  Saint  Petricksburg.^  But  ear  this:
— And  here,  aaherra,  my  rere  admirable  peadar  poulsen,  sayd he,  consistently,  to  the  secondnamed  sutor,  my  lately  lamented sponsorship,  comesend  round  that  wine  and  lift  your  horn,  sayd he,  to  show  you're  a  skolar  for,  winter  you  likes  or  not,  we brought  your  summer  with  us  and,  tomkin  about  your  lief  eurek- ason  and  his  undishcovery  of  americle,  be  the  rolling  forties,  he sayd,  and  on  my  sopper  crappidamn,  as  Harris  himself  says,  to  let you  in  on  some  crismion  dottrin,  here  is  the  ninethest  pork  of  a  man whisk  swimmies  in  Dybblin  water  from  Ballscodden  easthmost till  Thyrston's  Lickslip  and,  sayd  he,  (whiles  the  heart  of  Lukky Swayn  slaughed  in  his  icebox  for  to  think  of  all  the  soorts  of
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smukklers  he  would  behave  in  juteyfrieze  being  forelooper  to  her) praties  peel  to  our  goodsend  Brandonius,  ^zAW  of  a  Cara,  spouse to  Fynlogue,  he  has  the  nicesth  pert  of  a  nittlewoman  in  the house,  la  chito,  la  chato,  la  Charmadouiro,  Tina-bat-Talur,  cif  for your  fob  and  a  tesura  astore  for  you,  eslucylamp  aswhen  the  surge seas  sombren,  that  he  daughts  upon  of  anny  livving  plusquebelle, to  child  and  foster,  that's  the  lippeyear's  wonder  of  Totty  go, Newschool,  two  titty  too  at  win  winnie  won,  tramity  trimming  and funnity  fare,  with  a  grit  as  hard  as  the  trent  of  the  thimes  but  a touch  as  saft  as  the  dee  in  flooing  and  never  a  Hyderow  Jenny  the like  of  her  lightness  at  look  and  you  leap,  rheadoromanscing  long evmans  invairn,  about  little  Anny  Roners  and  all  the  Lavinias  of ester  yours  and  pleding  for  them  to  herself  in  the  periglus  glatsch hangs  over  her  trickle  bed,  it's  a  piz  of  fortune  if  it  never  falls  from the  stufFel,  and,  when  that  mallaura's  over  till  next  time  and  all  the prim  rossies  are  out  dressparading  and  the  tubas  tout  tout  for  the glowru  of  their  god,  making  every  Dinny  dingle  after  her  down the  Dargul  dale  and  (wait  awhile,  blusterbuss,  you're  marchadant too  forte  and  don't  start  furlan  your  ladins  till  you' ve  learned  the lie  of  her  landuage!),  when  it's  summwer  calding  and  she  can  hear the  pianutunar  beyant  the  bayondes  in  Combria  sleepytalking  to the  Wiltsh  muntons,  titting  out  through  her  droemer  window for  the  flyend  of  a  touchman  over  the  wishtas  of  English  Strand, when  Kilbarrack  bell  pings  saksalaisance  that  Concessas  with Sinbads  may  (pong!),  where  our  dollimonde  sees  the  phantom shape  of  Mr  Fortunatus  Wright  since  winksome  Miss  Bulkeley made  loe  to  her  wrecker  and  he  took  her  to  be  a  rover,  O,  and playing  house  of  ivary  dower  of  gould  and  gift  you  soil  me peepat  my  prize,  which  its  a  blue  loogoont  for  her  in  a  bleakeyed seusan  if  she  can't  work  her  mireiclles  and  give  Norgeyborgey good  airish  timers,  while  her  fresh  racy  turf  is  kindly  kindling  up the  lower  with  the  flu,  with  a  roaryboaryellas  would  set  an  Eri- weddyng  on  fire,  let  aloon  an  old  Humpopolamos  with  the  boomar- poorter  on  his  brain,  aiden  bay  scye  and  dye,  aasbukividdy, twentynine  to  her  dozen  and  coocoo  him  didulceydovely  to  his old  cawcaws  huggin  and  munin  for  his  strict  privatear  which
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there's  no  pure  rube  like  an  ool  pool  roober  when  your  pullar beer  turns  out  Bruin  O'Luinn  and  beat  his  barge  into  a  battering pram  with  her  wattling  way  for  cubblin  and,  be  me  fairy  fay,  sayd he,  the  marriage  mixter,  to  Kersse,  Son  of  Joe  Ashe,  her  coax- fonder,  wiry  eyes  and  winky  hair,  timkin  abeat  your  Andraws Meltons  and  his  lovsang  of  the  short  and  shifty,  I  will  turn  my thinks  to  things  alove  and  I  will  speak  but  threes  ones,  sayd  he, my  truest  patrions  good  founter,  poles  a  port  and  zones  asunder, tie  up  in  hates  and  repeat  at  luxure,  you  can  better  your  tooblue prodestind  arson,  tyler  bach,  after  roundsabouts  and  donochs  and the  volumed  smoke,  though  the  clonk  in  his  stumble  strikes  warn, and  were  he  laid  out  on  that  counter  there  like  a  Slavocrates amongst  his  skippies,  when  it  comes  to  the  ride  onerable,  sayd  he, that's  to  make  plain  Nanny  Ni  Sheeres  a  full  Dinamarqueza,  and all  needed  for  the  lay,  from  the  hursey  on  the  montey  with  the room  in  herberge  down  to  forkpiece  and  bucklecatch,  (Elding, my  elding!  and  Lif,  my  lif!)  in  the  pravacy  of  the  pirmanocturne, hap,  sayd  he,  at  that  meet  hour  of  night,  and  hop,  sayd  he,  and  the fyrsty  annas  everso  thried  (whiles  the  breath  of  Huppy  Hulles- pond  swumped  in  his  seachest  for  to  renumber  all  the  mallyme- dears'  long  roll  and  call  of  sweetheart  emmas  that  every  had  a port  in  from  CoxerJiagen  till  the  brottels  on  the  Nile),  while taylight  is  yet  slipping  under  their  pillow,  (ill  omens  on  Kitty Cole  if  she's  spilling  laddy's  measure!)  and  before  Sing  Mattins  in the  Fields,  ringsengd  ringsengd,  bings  Heri  the  Concorant  Erho, and  the  Referinn  Fuchs  Gutmann  gives  us  77/  Bell  the  Welled  or The  Steeplepoy  s  Revanger  and  all  Thingavalley  knows  for  its never  dawn  in  the  dark  but  the  deed  comes  to  life,  and  raptist  bride is  aptist  breed  (tha  lassy!  tha  lassy!),  and,  to  buoy  the  hoop within  us  springing,  'tis  no  timbertar  she'll  have  then  in  her  arms- brace  to  doll  the  dallydandle,  our  fiery  quean,  upon  tlie  night  ot the  things  of  the  night  of  the  making  to  stand  up  the  double tet  of  the  oversear  of  the  seize  who  cometh  from  the  mighty deep  and  on  the  night  of  making  Horuse  to  crihumph  over  his enemy,  be  the  help  of  me  cope  as  so  pluse  the  riches  of  the  roed- shields,  with  Elizabeliza  blessing  the  bedpain,  at  the  willbedone
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of  Yinko  Jinko  Randy,  come  Bastabasco  and  hippychip  eggs,  she will  make  a  suomease  pair  and  singlette,  jodhpur  smalls  and  tailor- less,  a  copener's  cribful,  leaf,  bud  and  berry,  the  divlin's  own  little mimmykin  puss,  (hip,  hip,  horatia!)  for  my  old  comrhade  salty- mar  here,  Briganteen — General  Sir  A.  I.  Magnus,  the  flapper- nooser,  master  of  the  good  lifebark  Ulivengrene  of  Onslought, and  the  homespund  of  her  hearth,  (Fuss  his  farther  was  the  norse norse  east  and  Muss  his  mother  was  a  gluepot)  and,  gravydock  or groovy  anker,  and  a  hulldread  pursunk  manowhood,  who  (with a  chenchen  for  his  delight  time  and  a  bonzeye  nappin  through  his doze)  he  is  the  bettest  bluffy  blondblubber  of  an  olewidgeon  what overspat  a  skettle  in  a  skib.  '
Cawcaught.  Coocaged.  -  ^
And  Dub  did  glow  that  night.  In  Fingal  of  victories.  Cann- matha  and  Cathlin  sang  together.  And  the  three  shouters  of glory.  Yelling  halfviewed  their  harps.  Surly  Tubal  smiled  upon drear  Darthoola:  and  Roscranna's  bolgaboyo  begirlified  the daughter  of  Cormac.  The  soul  of  everyelsesbody  rolled  into  its olesoleself.  A  doublemonth's  licence,  lease  on  mirth,  while  hooney- moon  and  her  flame  went  huneysuckling.  Holyryssia,  what  boom of  bells!  What  battle  of  bragues  on  Sandgate  where  met  the  bobby mobbed  his  bibby  mabbing  through  the  ryce.  Even  Tombs  left doss  and  dunnage  down  in  Demidoff 's  tomb  and  drew  on  the dournailed  clogs  that  Morty  Manning  left  him  and  legged  in  by Ghoststown  Gate,  like  Pompei  up  to  date,  with  a  sprig  of  White- boys  heather  on  his  late  Luke  Elcock's  heirloom.  And  some  say they  seen  old  dummydeaf  with  a  leaf  of  bronze  on  his  cloak so  grey,  trooping  his  colour  a  pace  to  the  reire.  And  as  owfally posh  with  his  halfcrown  jool  as  if  he  was  the  Granjook  Meckl  or Paster  de  Grace  on  the  Route  de  I'Epee.  It  was  joobileejeu  that All  Sorts'  Jour.  Freestouters  and  publicranks,  hafts  on  glaives. You  could  hear  them  swearing  threaties  on  the  Cymylaya Mountains,  man.  And  giving  it  out  to  the  Ould  Fathach  and  louth- mouthing  after  the  Healy  Mealy  with  an  enfysis  to  bring  down the  rain  of  Tarar.  Nevertoletta !  Evertomind!  The  grandest bethehailey  seen  or  heard  on  earth's  conspectrum  since  Scape
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the  Goat,  that  gafr,  ate  the  Suenders  bible.  Hadn't  we  heaven's lamps  to  hide  us?  Yet  every  lane  had  its  lively  spark  and  every spark  had  its  several  spurtles  and  each  spitfire  spurtle  had  some trick  of  her  trade,  a  tease  for  Ned,  nook's  nestle  for  Fred  and a  peep  at  me  mow  for  Peer  Pol.  So  that  Father  Matt  Hughes looked  taytotally  threbled.  But  Danno  the  Dane  grimmed.  Dune. 'Twere  yeg  will  elsecare  doatty  lanv  meet  they  dewscent  hyemn to  cannons'  roar  and  rifles'  peal  vill  shantey  soloweys  sang!  For there  were  no  more  Tyrrhanees  and  for  Laxembraghs  was  pass- thecupper  to  Our  Lader's.  And  it  was  dim  upon  the  floods  only and  there  was  day  on  all  the  ground.
Thus  street  spins  legends  while  wharves  woves  tales  but  some family  fewd  felt  a  nick  in  their  name.  Old  Vickers  sate  down  on their  airs  and  straightened  the  points  of  their  lace.  Red  Rowleys popped  out  of  their  lairs  and  asked  what  was  wrong  with  the race.  Mick  na  Murrough  used  dripping  in  layers  to  shave all  the  furze  off  his  face.  The  Burke-Lees  and  Coyle-Finns paid  full  feines  for  their  sinns  when  the  Cap  and  Miss  Coolie were  roped. (/^A^^^^:^::^  ,Rolloraped.
With  her  banbax  hoist  from  holder,  zig  for  zag  through  pool and  polder,  cheap,  cheap,  cheap  and  Laughing  Jack,  all  augurs scorenning,  see  the  Bolche  your  pictures  motion  and  Kitzy Kleinsuessmein  eloping  for  that  holm  in  Finn's  Hotel  Fiord, Nova  Norening.  Where  they  pulled  down  the  kuddle  and  they made  fray  and  if  thee  don't  look  homey,  well,  that  Dook  can  eye Mae.
He  goat  a  berth.  And  she  cot  a  manege.  And  wohl's  gorse mundom  ganna  wedst.
Knock  knock.  War's  where!  Which  war.'*  The  Twwinns. Knock  knock.  Woos  without!  Without  what?  An  apple.  Knock .  knock.
rv  kilder  massed,  one  then  and  uhindred,  (barefoot,  birdy-
hands,  herringabone,  beesknees),  and  they  barneydansked  a kathareen  round  to  know  the  who  and  to  show  the  howsome. Why  was  you  hiding,  moder  of  moders?  And  where  was  hunty,
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poppa  the  gun?  Pointing  up  to  skyless  heaven  like  the  spoon  out of  sergeantmajor's  tay.  Which  was  the  worst  of  them  phaymix cupplerts?  He's  herd  of  hoarding  and  her  faiths  is  altared.  Becom- ing ungoing,  their  seeming  sames  for  though  that  liamstone deaf  do  his  part  there's  a  windtreetop  whipples  the  damp  off  the mourning.  But  tellusit  allasif  wellasits  end.  And  the  lunger  it takes  the  swooner  they  tumble  two.  He  knows  he's  just  thrilling and  she's  sure  she'd  squeam.  The  threelegged  man  and  the  tulip- pied  dewydress.  Lludd  hillmythey,  we're  brimming  to  hear!  The durst  he  did  and  the  first  she  ever?  Peganeen  Bushe,  this  isn't  the polkar,  catch  as  you  cancan  when  high  land  fling!  And  you  Tim Tommy  Melooney,  I'll  tittle  your  barents  if  you  stick  that  pigpin upinto  meh!
So  in  the  names  of  the  balder  and  of  the  sol  and  of  the  holli- chrost,  ogsowearit,  trisexnone,  and  by  way  of  letting  the  aandt out  of  her  grosskropper  and  leading  the  mokes  home  by  their gribes,  whoopsabout  a  plabbaside  of  plobbicides,  alamam  alemon, poison  kerls,  on  this  mounden  of  Delude,  and  in  the  high  places of  Delude  of  Isreal,  which  is  Haraharem  and  the  diublin's  owld mounden  over  against  Vikens,  from  your  tarns,  thwaites  and thorpes,  withes,  tofts  and  fosses,  fells,  haughs  and  shaws,  lunds, garths  and  dales,  mensuring  the  megnominous  as  so  will  is  the littleyest,  the  myrioheartzed  with  toroidal  coil,  eira  area  round wantanajocky,  fin  above  wave  after  ducky  do  wndivvy,  trader  arm aslung  beauty  belt,  the  formor  velican  and  nana  karlikeevna, sommerlad  and  cinderenda,  Valtivar  and  Viv,  how  Big  Bil  Brine Borumoter  first  took  his  gage  at  lil  lolly  lavvander  waader  since when  capriole  legs  covets  limbs  of  a  crane  and  was  it  the  twylyd or  the  mounth  of  the  yare  or  the  feint  of  her  smell  made  the  seo- men  assalt  of  her  (in  imageascene  all:  whimwhim  whimwhim).  T^^"/ To  the  laetification  of  disgeneration  by  neuhumorisation  of  our  i  ^^^^' kristianiasation.  As  the  last  liar  in  the  earth  begeylywayled  the first  lady  of  the  forest.  Though  Toot's  pardoosled  sauve  I'hum- mour!  For  the  joy  of  the  dew  on  the  flower  of  the  fleets  on  the fields  of  the  foam  of  the  waves  of  the  seas  of  the  wild  main  from Borneholm  has  jest  come  to  crown.  5^2'  iC>
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Snip  snap  snoody.  Noo  err  historyend  goody.  Of  a  lil  trip trap  and  a  big  treeskooner  for  he  put  off  the  ketyl  and  they ^<SL         made  three  (for  fie!)  and  if  hec  dont  love  alpy  then  lad  you annoy  me.  For  hanigen  with  hunigen  still  haunt  ahunt  to  finnd ^  their  hinnigen  where  Pappappapparrassannuaragheallachnatull-
\\\  ^0 '  aghmonganmacmacmacwhackfalltherdebblenonthedubblandadd- .        y doodled  and  anruly  person  creeked  a  jest.  Gestapose  to  parry ^  ?\off  cheekars  or  frankfurters  on  the  odor.  Fine  again,  Cuoholson! .  C        ^l^eace,  O  wiley!
Such  was  die  act  of  goth  stepping  the  tolk  of  Doolin,  drain and  plantage,  wattle  and  daub,  with  you'll  peel  as  Fll  pale  and we'll  pull  the  boath  toground  togutter,  testies  touchwood  and shenstone  unto  pop  and  puma,  calf  and  condor,  under  all  the gaauspices  (incorporated),  the  chal  and  his  chi,  their  roammerin over,  gribgrobgrab  reining  trippetytrappety  (so  fore  shalt  thou flow,  else  thy  cavern  hair!)  to  whom  she  (anit  likenand  please- thee!).  Till  sealump  becamedump  to  bumpslump  a  lifflebed, (alto la,  allamarsch!  O  gue,  O  gue!).  Kaemper  Daemper  to  Jetty de  Waarft,  all  the  weight  of  that  mons  on  his  litde  ribbeunuch! Him  that  gronde  old  mand  to  be  that  haard  of  heaering  (afore said)  and  her  the  petty  tondur  with  the  fix  in  her  changeable eye  (which  see).  Lord,  me  lad,  he  goes  with  blowbierd,  leedy, plasheous  stream.  But  before  that  his  loudship  was  converted  to a  landshop  there  was  a  little  theogamyjig  incidence  that  hoppy- go-jumpy  Junuary  morn  when  he  colluded  with  the  cad  out  on the  beg  amudst  the  fiounaregal  gaames  of  those  oathmassed fenians  for  whome  he's  forcecaused  a  bridge  of  the  piers,  at InverlefFy,  mating  pontine  of  their  engagement,  synnbildising graters  and  things,  eke  ysendt.'^  O  nilly,  not  all,  here's  the  first cataraction!  As  if  ever  she  cared  an  assuan  damm  about  her harpoons  sticking  all  out  of  him  whet  between  phoenix  his calipers  and  that  psourdonome  sheath.  Sdrats  ye,  Gus  Paudheen ! Kenny's  thought  ye,  Dinny  Oozle!  While  the  cit  was  leaking asphalt  like  a  suburbiaurealis  in  liis  rure  was  tucking  to  him  like old  booths,  booths,  booths,  booths.
Enterruption.  Check  or  slowback.  Dvershen.
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^'-^
/
&  4.  tiff    I  ^^^^
Why,  wonder  of  wenchalows,  what  o  szeszame  open,  v  doer  s  t doing?  V  door  s  being.  But  how  theng  thingajarry  miens  but  this being  becoming  n  z  doer?  K?  An  o.  It  is  ne  not  him  what  foots like  a  glove,  shoehandschiner  Pad  Podomkin.  Sooftly,  anni slavey,  szszuszchee  is  slowjaneska.
The  aged  crafty  nummifeed  confusionary  overinsured  ever- lapsing  accentuated  katekattershin  clopped,  clopped,  clopped, darsey  dobrey,  back  and  along  the  danzing  corridor,  as  she  was going  to  pimpim  him,  way  boy  wally,  not  without  her  comple- ment of  cavarnan  men,  between  the  two  deathdealing  allied divisions  and  the  lines  of  readypresent  fire  of  the  corkedagains  up- stored,  taken  in  giving  the  saloot,  band  your  hands  going  in,  bind your  heads  coming  out,  and  remoltked  to  herselp  in  her  serf's alown,  a  weerpovy  willowy  dreevy  drawly  and  the  patter  of  so familiars,  farabroads  and  behomeans,  as  she  shure  sknows,  boof for  a  booby,  boo:  new  uses  in  their  mewseyfume.  The  jammesons is  a  cook  in  his  hair.  And  the  juinnesses  is  a  rapin  his  hind.  And the  Bullingdong  caught  the  wind  up.  Dip.
And  the  message  she  braught  belaw  from  the  missus  she bragged  abouve  that  had  her  agony  stays  outsize  her  sari  chemise, blancking  her  shifts  for  to  keep  up  the  fascion  since  the  king  of all  dronnings  kissed  her  beeswixed  hand,  fang  (pierce  me,  hunky, I'm  full  of  meunders!),  her  fize  like  a  tubtail  of  mondayne clothes,  fed  to  the  chaps  with  working  medicals  and  her  birthright pang  that  would  split  an  atam  like  the  forty  pins  in  her  hood,  was to  fader  huncher  a  howdydowdy,  to  mountainy  mots  in  her amnest  plein  language,  from  his  fain  a  wan,  his  hot  and  tot  lass, to  pierce  his  ropeloop  ear,  how,  Podushka  be  prayhasd,  now  the sowns  of  his  loins  were  awinking  and  waking  and  his  dorter  of the  hush  lillabilla  lullaby  (lead  us  not  into  reformication  with  the poors  in  your  thingdom  of  gory,  O  moan!),  once  after  males, nonce  at  a  time,  with  them  Murphy's  puffs  she  dursted  with gnockmeggs  and  the  bramborry  cake  for  dour  dorty  dompling obayre  Mattom  Beetom  and  epsut  the  pfot  and  if  he  was  whishtful to  licture  her  caudal  with  chesty  chach  from  his  dauberg  den and  noviny  news  from  Naul  or  toplots  talks  from  morrienbaths
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or  a  parrotsprate's  cure  for  ensevelised  lethurgies,  spick's  my spoon  and  the  veriblest  spoon,  'twas  her  hour  for  the  chamber's ensallycopodium  with  love  to  melost  Panny  Kostello  from X.Y.  Zid  for  to  folly  billybobbis  gibits  porzy  punzy  and  she  was a  wanton  for  De  Marera  to  take  her  genial  glow  to  bed.
—  This  is  time  for  my  tubble,  reflected  Mr  *  Gladstone Browne'  in  the  toll  hut  (it  was  choractoristic  from  that  'man  of Delgany').  Dip.
—  This  is  me  vulcanite  smoking,  profused  Mr  'Bonaparte Nolan'  under  the  natecup  (one  feels  how  one  may  hereby  reekig- nites  the  'ground  old  mahonagyan').  Dip.
—  And  this  is  defender  of  defeater  of  defaulter  of  deformer of  the  funst  man  in  Danelagh,  willingtoned  in  with  this  glance dowon  his  browen  and  that  born  appalled  noodlum  the  panellite pair's  cummal  delimitator,  odding:  Oliver  White,  he's  as  tiff  as she's  tight.  And  thisens  his  speak  quite  hoarse.  Dip.
In  reverence  to  her  midgetsy  the  lady  of  the  comeallyous  as madgestoo  our  own  one's  goff  stature.  Prosim,  prosit,  to  the krk  n  yr  nek  I
O  rum  it  is  the  chomicalest  thing  how  it  pickles  up  the  punchey and  the  jude.  If  you'll  gimmy  your  thing  to  me  I  will  gamey  a  sing to  thee.  Stay  where  you're  dummy!  To  get  her  to  go  ther.  He banged  the  scoop  and  she  bagged  the  sugar  while  the  whole pub's  pobbel  done  a  stare.  On  the  mizzatint  wall.  With  its  chromo for  all,  crimm  crimms.  Showing  holdmenag's  asses  sat  by  Allme- neck's  men,  canins  to  ride  with  em,  canins  that  lept  at  em,  woollied and  flundered.
So  the  katey's  came  and  the  katey's  game.  As  so  gangs  sludge- nose.  And  that  henchwench  what  hopped  it  dunneth  there  duft the.  Duras.
(Silents)
Yes,  we've  conned  thon  print  in  its  gloss  so  gay  how  it  came from  Finndlader's  Yule  to  die  day  and  it's  Hey  Tallaght  Hoe  on the  king's  highway  with  his  hounds  on  the  home  at  a  turning. To  Donnicoombe  Fairing.  Millikin's  Pass.  When  visiting  at Izd-la-Chapelle  taste  the  lipe  of  the  waters  from  Carlowman's  Cup.
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*
^ 
i
.4^'  AT
It  tellyhows  its  story  to  their  six  of  hearts,  a  twelve-eyed  man; for  whom  has  madjestky  who  since  is  dyed  drown  reign  before the  izba.
Au!  Au!  Aue!  Ha!  Heish!    r^^"'^     r  M?.-e/t7 As  stage  to  set  by  ritual  rote  for  the  grimm  grimm  tale  of  the four  of  hyacinths,  the  deafeeled  carp  and  the  bugler's  dozen  of  l^^-^ leagues-in-amour  or  how  Holispolis  went  to  Parkland  with mabby  and  sammy  and  sonny  and  sissy  and  mop's  varlet  de shambles  and  all  to  find  the  right  place  for  it  by  peep  o'skirt  or     /  . pipe  a  skirl  when  the  hundt  called  a  halt  on  the  chivvychace  of     '  ,  ,  ,  / ^■^1    the  ground  sloper  at  that  ligtning  lovemaker's  thender  apeal  till,
between  wandering  weather  and  stable  wind,  vastelend  hosteil-  B end,  neuziel  and  oltrigger  some,  Bullyclubber  burgherly  shut the  rush  in  general.  '
Let  us  propel  us  for  the  frey  of  the  fray!  Us,  us,  beraddy !  /  t
Ko  Niutirenis  hauru  leish!  A  lala!  Ko  Niutirenis  haururu  ^^^^ laleish!  Ala  lala!  The  Wullingthund  sturm  is  breaking.  The sound  of  maormaoring.  The  Wellingthund  sturm  waxes  fuer- cilier.  The  whackawhacks  of  the  sturm.  Katu  te  ihis  ihis !  Katu  ^  ^ te  wana  wana!  The  strength  of  the  rawshorn  generand  is  known throughout  the  world.  Let  us  say  if  we  may  what  a  weeny wukeleen  can  do.
Au!  Au!  Aue!  Ha!  Heish!  A  lala!
—  Paud  the  roosky,  weren't  they  all  of  them  then  each  in  his different  way  of  saying  calling  on  tha.^e_in  the  same  time hibernian  knights  underthaner  that  was  having,  half  for  the  laugh  ^kxi-A  %
of  the  bliss  it  sint„barbaras  another  doesend  end  once  tale  of  a        '  ^  " tublin  wished  on  to  him  with  its  olives  ocolombs  and  its  hills owns  ravings  and  Tutty  his  tour  in  his  Nowhare's  yarcht.  It  was before  when  Aimee  stood  for  Arthurduke  for  the  figger  in  pro- fane and  fell  from  grace  so  madlley  for  fill  the  flatter  fellows. (They  were  saying).  And  it  was  the  lang  in  die  shirt  in  the  green of  the  wood,  where  obelisk  rises  when  odalisks  fall,  major  threft  \^^^ on  the  make  and  jollyjacques  spindthrift  on  the  merry  (O  Mr Mathurin,  they  were  calling,  what  a  topheavy  hat  you're  in!  And  '^^^/^^f there  aramny  maeud,  then  they  were  saying,  these  so  piou-
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pious!).  And  it  was  cyclums  cyclorums  after  he  made  design  on the  corse  and  he  want  to  mess  on  him  (enterellbo  add  all  taller Danis),  back,  seater  and  sides,  and  he  applied  (I'm  amazingly sorracer!)  the  wholed  bould  shoulderedboy's  width  for  fullness, measures  for  messieurs,  messer's  massed,  (they  were  saycalling again  and  agone  and  all  over  agun,  the  louthly  meathers,  the loudly  meaders,  the  lously  measlers,  six  to  one,  bar  ones). And  they  pled  him  beheighten  the  firing.  Dope. /^iiJfi^  Maltpmeetim,  alltomatetam,  when  a  tale  tarries  shome  shunter
shove  on.  Fore  auld  they  wauld  to  pree. Pray.
Of  this  Mr  A  (tillalaric)  and  these  wasch  woman  (dapple- hued),  fhronehflord  and  feeofeeds,  who  had  insue  keen  and  able and  a  spindlesong  aside,  nothing  more  is  told  until  now,  his awebrume  hour,  her  sere  Sahara  of  sad  oakleaves.  And  then.  Be old.  The  next  thing  is.  We  are  once  amore  as  babes  awondering in  a  wold  made  fresh  where  with  the  hen  in  the  storyaboot  we start  from  scratch.
So  the  truce,  the  old  truce  and  nattonbuff  the  truce,  boys. Drouth  is  stronger  than  faction.  Slant.  Shinshin.  Shinshin.
—  It  was  of  The  Grant,  old  gartener,  qua  golden  meddlist, Publius  Manlius,  fuderal  private,  (his  place  is  his  poster,  sure,  they said,  and  we're  going  to  mark  it,  sore,  they  said,  with  a  carbon caustick  manner)  bequother  the  liberaloider  at  his  petty  corpore- lezzo  that  hung  caughtnapping  from  his  baited  breath,  it  was  of him,  my  wife  and  I  thinks,  to  feel  to  every  of  the  younging  fruits, tenderosed  like  an  atalantic's  breastswells  or,  on  a  second  wreath- ing, a  bright  tauth  bight  shimmeryshaking  for  the  welt  of  his plow.  And  where  the  peckadillies  at  his  wristsends  meetings  be loving  so  lightly  dovessoild  the  candidacy,  me  wipin  eye  sinks, of  his  softboiled  bosom  should  be  apparient  even  to  our  illicterate of  nullatinenties.
All  to  which  not  a  lot  snapped  The  Nolan  of  the  Calabashes at  his  whilom  eweheart  photognomist  who  by  this  sum  taken was  as  much  incensed  by  Saint  Bruno  as  that  what  he  had  con- summed  was  his  own  panegoric,  and  wot  a  lout  about  it  if  it  was
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only  a  pippappofF  pigeon  shoot  that  gracesold  getrunner,  the man  of  centuries,  was  bowled  out  by  judge,  jury  and  umpire  at batman's  biff  like  a  witchbefooled  legate.  Dupe.
His  almonence  being  alaterelly  in  dispensation  with  his  three oldher  patrons'  aid,  providencer's  divine  cow  to  milkfeeding mleckman,  bonafacies  to  solafides,  what  matter  what  all  his freudzay  or  who  holds  his  hat  to  harm  him,  let  hutch  just  keep on  under  at  being  a  vanished  consinent  and  let  annapal  livibel prettily  prattle  a  lude  all  her  own.  And  be  that  semeliminal salmon  solemonly  angled,  ingate  and  outgate.  A  truce  to  lovecalls, dulled  in  warclothes,  maleybags,  things  and  bleakhusen.  Leave the  letter  that  never  begins  to  go  find  the  latter  that  ever  comes to  end,  written  in  smoke  and  blurred  by  mist  and  signed  of solitude,  sealed  at  night.
Simply.  As  says  the  mug  in  the  middle,  nay  brian  nay  noel, ney  billy  ney  boney.  Imagine  twee  cweamy  wosen.  Suppwose you  get  a  beautiful  thought  and  cull  them  sylvias  sub  silence. Then  inmaggin  a  stotterer.  Suppoutre  him  to  been  one  bigger- master  Omnibil.  Then  lustily  (tutu  the  font  and  tritt  on  the  boks- woods  like  gay  feeters's  dance)  immengine  up  to  three  longly lurking  lobstarts.  Fair  instents  the  Will  Woolsley  Wellaslayers. Pet  her,  pink  him,  play  pranks  with  them.  She  will  nod  ampro- perly  smile.  He  may  seem  to  appraisiate  it.  They  are  as  piractical jukersmen  sure  to  paltipsypote.  Feel  the  wollies  drippeling  out of  your  fingathumbs.  Says  to  youssilves  (floweers  have  ears, heahear!)  solowly:  So  these  ease  Budlim!  How  do,  dainty  dau- limbs.^  So  peached  to  pick  on  you  in  this  way,  prue  and  simple, pritt  and  spry!  Heyday  too,  Malster  Faunagon,  and  hopes  your hahititahiti  licks  the  mankey  nuts!  And  oodlum  hoodlum  dood- lum  to  yes,  Donn,  Teague  and  Hurleg,  who  the  bullocks  brought you  here  and  how  the  hillocks  are  ye.'*
We  want  Bud.  We  want  Bud  Budderly.  We  want  Bud  Budderly boddily.  There  he  is  in  his  Borrisalooner.  The  man  that  shunned the  rucks  on  Gereland.  The  man  thut  won  the  bettUe  of  the bawll.  Order,  order,  order,  order!  And  tough.  We  call  on  Tan- cred  Artaxerxes  Flavin  to  compeer  with  Barnabas  Ulick  Dunne.
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Order,  order,  order!  Milster  Malster  in  the  chair.  We've  heard  it
(
^'  sinse  sung  thousandtimes.  How  Burghley  shuck  the  rackushant
Germanon.  For  Ehren^  boys,  gobrawl!      ^  ^^^T  J^ft^^r
A  public  plouse.  C  itizen  soldiers.    ^  -«  ,  ^  ^
TAFF  (a  smaTt  hoy^  of  the  peat  freers^  thirty  two  eleven^  looking through  the  roof  towards  a  relevution  of  the  karmalife  order  privious ^^v^    to  his  hoisting  of  an  emergency  umber olum  in  hyway  of paraguastical solation  to  the  rhyttel  in  his  hedd).  All  was  flashing  and  krashning Qj^"^^^  biurty  moriartsky  blutcherudd.'^  What  see,  buttywalch.'^  Tell  ever
yr^^  so  often  .'^
BUTT  {mottledged  youthy  clergical  appealance^  who,  as  his  pied friary  is  supposing  to  motto  the  sorry  dejester  in  tifftaff  toffiness  or to  he  digarced  from  ever  and  a  daye  in  his  accounts^.  But  da.  But dada,  mwilshsuni.  Till  even  so  aften.  Sea  vaast  a  pool!
TAFF  {porumptly  helping  himself  out  by  the  cesspull  with  a  yellup yurrupy  puts  up  his  furry  furied  hare).  Butly  bitly!  Humme  to  our mounthings.  Conscribe  him  tillusk,  unt,  in  his  jubalant  tubalence, the  groundsapper,  with  his  soilday  site  out  on  his  moulday  side ^  in.  The  gubernier-gerenal  in  laut-lievtonant  of  Baltiskeeamore,
~^ '  amaltheouse  for  leporty  hole!  Endues  paramilintary  langdwage.
The  saillils  of  the  yellavs  nocadont  palignol  urdlesh.  Shelltoss and  welltass  and  telltuss  aghom!  Sling  Stranaslang,  how  Malo- razzias  spikes  her,  coining  a  speak  a  spake!  Not  the  Setanik  stuff that  slimed  soft  Siranouche!  The  good  old  gunshop  monowards for  manosymples.  Tincurs  tammit!  They  did  oak  hay  doe  fou Chang-li-meng  when  that  man  d'airain  was  big  top  tom  saw  tip side  bum  boss  pageantfiller.  Ajaculate!  All  lea  light!  Rassamble the  glowrings  of  Bruyant  the  Bref  when  the  Mollies  Makehal- pence  took  his  leg  for  his  thumb.  And  may  he  be  too  an  intrepida- tion  of  our  dreams  which  we  foregot  at  wiking  when  the  morn hath  razed  out  limpalove  and  the  bleakfrost  chilled  our  ravery! Pook.  Sing  ching  lew  mang!  Upgo,  bobbycop!  Lets  hear  in remember  the  braise  of.  Hold!
BUTT  {drawling  forth  from  his  blousom  whereis  meditabound  of his  minkerstaryy  switches  on  his  gorsecopper  s  fling  weitoheito  long- thorny  fed  up  the  grain  oils  of  Aerin,  while  his  laugh  neighs  banck  as
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tAat  flashermind' s  rays  and  his  Rpponease  longuewedge  wambles). Ullahbluh!  Sehyoh  narar,  pokehole  sann!  Manhead  very  dirty  by am  anoyato.  Like  old  Dolldy  Icon  when  he  cooked  up  his  iggs in  bicon.  He  gatovit  and  me  gotafit  and  Oalgoak's  Cheloven  gut a  fudden.  Povar  old  pitschobed!  Molodezrious  of  metchennacht belaburt  that  pentschmyaso  I  Bog  carsse  and  dam  neat,  sar,  gam cant!  Limbers  affront  of  him,  lumbers  behund.  While  the  bucks bite  his  dos  his  hart  bides  the  ros  till  the  bounds  of  his  bays  bell the  warning.  Sobaiter  sobarkar.  He  was  enmiyallupped.  Chro- mean  fastion.  With  all  his  cannoball  wappents.  In  his  raglanrock and  his  malakoiffed  b^ulbsbyg  and  his  varnashed  roscians  and  his cardigans  blousejagged  and  his  scarlett  manchokuffs  and  his  tree- coloured  camiflag  and  his  perikopendolous  gaelstorms.  Here weeks  hire  pulchers!  Obriania's  beromst!  From  Karrs  and Polikoff's,  the  men's  confessioners.  Seval  shimars  pleasant time  payings.  Mousoumeselles  buckwoulds  look.  Tenter  and likelings.  f  y  v
TAFF  (all  Perssiasterssias  shookatnaratatattar  at  his  waggon- horchers^  his  bulgeglarying  star  gapers  ranledanlingly  full  of  eyes^  ^  j full  of  balls  y  full  of  holes^  full  of  buttons^  full  of stains  ^  full  of  medals  ^  ?   ? '  ^ full  of  blickblackblobs).  Grozarktic!  Toadlebens!  Some  garment-  / guy!  Insects  appalling,  low  hum  clang  sin!  A  cheap  decoy!  Too deep  destroy!  Say  mangraphique,  may  say  nay  por  daguerre!  \
BUTT  (if  that  he  hids  foregodden  has  nate  of  glo:^ery  farused  ameet theflorahs  of  thefpllest^  his  spent  fish's  livid  smile  giving  allasundery the  bumfit  of  the  doped).  Come  alleyou  jupes  of  Wymmingtown that  graze  the  calves  of  Man!  A  bear  raigning  in  his  heavenspawn consomation  robes.  Rent,  outraged,  yewleaved,  grained,  bal-  - looned,  hindergored  and  voluant!  Erminia's  capecloaked  hoo-  V doodman!  First  he  s  s  st  steppes.  Then  he  st  stoo  stoopt.  Lookt.  '
TAFF  {strick  struck  strangling  like  aleal  lusky  Lubliner  to  merum- her  by  the  cycl  of  the  cruise  who  strungled  Attahilloupa  with  what empoisoned  El  Monte  de  Zuma  and  failing  wilnaynilnay  that  he was  pallups  barn  in  the  minkst  of  the  Krumlin  hefodt  he  was  pop- soused  into  the  monkst  of  the  vatercan^  makes  the  holypolygon  of „<?/?f„l4lJJ-.^^^-y'^^/^^r,  a  little  farther,  a  little  soon^  a  lettera- 339
cettera^  oukraydoubray).  Scutterer  of  guld,  he  is  retourious  on every  roudery!  The  lyewdsky  so  so  sewn  of  a  fitchid!  With  his walshbrushup.  And  his  boney  bogey  braggs.
BUTT  {after  his  tongues  in  his  cheeks^  with  pinkpoker  pointing out  in  rutene  to  impassible  abjects  beyond  the  mistomist  towards Lissnaluhy  such  as  the  Djublian  Alps  and  the  Hoofd  Ribeiro  as where  he  and  his  trulock  may  ever  make  a  game).  The  field  of karhags  and  that  bloasted  tree.  Forget  not  the  felled!  For  the lomondations  of  Oghrem!  Warful  doon*s  bothem.  Here  furry glunn.  Nye?  Their  feery  pass.  Tak!  With  guerillaman  aspear aspoor  to  prink  the  pranks  of  primkissies.  And  the  buddies  be- hide  in  the  byre.  Allahblah  I
TAFF  (a  blackseer^  he  s troves  to  regulect  all  the  straggles  for  wife in  the  rut  of  the  past  through  the  widnows  in  effigies  keening  after  the blank  sheets  in  their  faminy  to  the  relix  of  old  decency  from  over draught).  Oh  day  of  rath!  Ah,  murther  of  mines!  Eh,  selo  moy! Uh,  Zulu  luy!  Bernesson  Mac  Mahahon  from  Osro  bearing  nose easger  for  sweeth  prolettas  on  his  swooth  prowl!
BUTT  {back  to  his  peatrol  and paump:  swee  Gees  wee  rest:  no more  applehooley:  dodewodedook).  Bruinoboroff,  the  hooney- moonger,  and  the  grizzliest  manmichal  in  Meideveide!  Whose annal  livves  the  hoiest!  For  he  devoused  the  lelias  on  the  fined and  he  conforted  samp,  tramp  and  marchint  out  of  the  drumbume of  a  narse.  Guards,  serf  Finnland,  serve  we  all !
TAFF  {whatwidth  the  psychophannies  at  the  front  and  whetwadth the  psuckofumbers  beholden  the  fair ^  Ulcer tain^  between  his  bulchri- chudes  and  the  roshashanaral^  where  he  sees  Bishop  Ribboncake  plus his  pollex  priced  going  forth  on  his  visitations  of  mirrage  or  Miss Hori^onj  justso  all  our  fannacies  daintied  her^  on  the  curve  of  the camber^  unsheathing  a  showlaced  limbaloft  to  the  great  consternations). Divulge!  Hyededye,  kittyls,  and  howdeddoh,  pan!  Poshbott  and pulbuties.  See  that  we  soli  or  let  dargman  be  luna  as  strait  a  way as  your  ant's  folly  me  line  while  ye  post  is  goang  from  Piping Pubwirth  to  Haunted  Hillborough  on  his  Mujiksy's  Zaravence, the  Riss,  the  Ross,  the  sur  of  all  Russers,  as  my  farst  is  near  to hear  and  my  sackend  is  meet  to  sedon  while  my  whole's  a  peer's
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i
aureolies.  We  should  say  you  dones  the  polecad.  Bang  on  the booche,  gurg  in  the  gorge,  rap  on  the  roof  and  your  flup  is  unbu...
BUTT  (at  the  signal  of  his  act  which  seems  to  sharpnel  his irmermals  menody^  playing  the  spool  of  the  little  brown  jog  round  the wheel  of  her  whang  goes  the  millner).  Buckily  buckily,  blodestained boyne!  Bimbambombumb.  His  snapper  was  shot  in  the  Rumjar  c/vvwv^A-<j^ Journaral.  Why  the  gigls  he  lubbed  beeyed  him.
TAFF  (obliges  with  a  two  stopyogacoga  sumphoiyon  the  bones  for  ivory girl  and  ebony  boy),  The^balacleivka !  Trovatarovitch !  I  trumble!
BUTT  (with  the  sickle  of  a  scygthe  but  the  humour  of  a  hummer  ^  0, howorodies  through  his  cholaroguled^  fumfing  to  a  fullfrength  with this  wallowing  olfact).  Mortar  martar  tartar  wartar!  May  his boules  grow  wider  so  his  skittles  gets  worse!  The  aged  monad  '■.o  '  .J making  a  venture  out  of  the  murder  of  investment.  I  seen  him acting  surgent  what  betwinks  the  scimitar  star  and  the  ashen moon.  By  their  lights  shalthow  throw  him!  Piff  paff  for  puffpufF and  my  pife  for  his  cgar!  The  mlachy  way  for  gambling.
\Up  to  this  curkscraw  bind  an  admirable  verbivocovisual pre- sentment of  the  worldrenownced  Caerholme  Event  has  been  being given  by  The  Irish  Race  and  World.  The  huddled  and  aliven  stable- crashers  have  shared  fleetfooted  enthusiasm  with  the  paddocks dare  and  ditches  tare  while  the  mews  was  combing  ground,  Hippo- hopparray  helioscope  flashed  winsor  places  as  the  gates  might  see, Meusdeus!  That  was  (with  burning  briar)  Mr  Twomass  Noho- holan  for  their  common  contribe  satisfunction  in  the  purports  of amusedment  telling  the  Verily  Roverend  Father  Epiphanes shrines hriver  of  Saint  DhorougK s  (in  browne  bomler)  how (assuary  as  there  s  a  bonum  in  your  osstheology!)  Backlegs shirked  the  racing  kenneldar.  The  saintly  scholar  is  t's  roastering guffalawd  of  nupersaturals  holler  at  this  metanoic  excomologosis tells  oj  the  chestnut  s  (once  again^  Wittyngtom!)  absolutionally romptyhompty  successfulness.  A  lot  of  lasses  and  lads  without damas  or  dads^  but  fresh  and  blued  with  collecting  boxes.  One aught  spare  ones  trifle ts^  to  be  shut:  it  is  Coppingers  for  the children.  Slippery  Sam  hard  by  them^  physically  present  how-
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somedever  morally  absent^  was  slooching  about  in  his  knavish diamonds  asking  GmaXy  Knox  and  the  Dmuggies  (a  pinnance  for your  toughts^  turffers/)  to  deck  the  ace  of  duds,  Tomtinker  Tim^ howbeity  his  unremitting  retainer^  {the  seers  are  the  seers  of Samael  but  the  heers  are  the  heers  of  Timoth)  is  in  Booker  s Gloom,  soalken  steady  in  his  sulken  tents.  Baldawl  the  curse, baledale  the  day!  And  the  frocks  of  shick  sheeples  in  their  shum- mering  insamples!  You  see:  a  chiefsmith,  semperal  scandal stinkmakers^  a  middinest  from  the  Casablanca  and^  of  course^ Mr  Fry.  Harass!  Pardon  the  inquisition^  causas  es  quostas?  It is  Da  Valorem* s  Dominical  Brayers.  Why  coif  that  weird  hood? Because  among  nosoever  circusdances  is  to  be  apprehended  the dustungwashed  poltronage  of  the  lost  Gabbarnaur-Jaggarnath. Pamjab!  Gross  Jumpiter^  whud  was  thud?  Luckluckluckluck- luckluckluck!  It  is  the  Thousand  to  One  Guinea-Gooseberry  s Lipperfull  Slipver  Cup.  Hold  hard,  ridesiddle  titelittle  Pitsy Riley!  Gurragrunch,  gurragrunch!  They  are  at  the  turn  of  the fourth  of  the  hurdles.  By  the  hross  of  Xristos^  Holophullopopu- lace  is  a  shote  of  excramation!  Bumchub!  Emancipator,  the Creman  hunter  {Major  Her  my n  C.  Entwhistle)  with  dramatic effect  reproducing  the  form  of  famous  sires  on  the  scene  of  the formers  triumphs^  is  showing  the  eagle's  way  to  Mr  JVhayte- haytes  three  buy  geldings  Homo  Made  Ink,  Bailey  Beacon and  Ratatuohy  while  Furstin  II  and  The  Other  Girl  {Mrs 'Boss*  Waters^  Leavybrink)  too  early  spring  dabbles^  are  showing a  clean  pairofhids  to  Immensipater.  Sinkathinks  to  oppen  here! To  this  virgins  tuft^  on  this  golden  of  evens!  I  never  sought  of sinkathink.  Our  lorkmakor  he  is  proformly  annuysed.  He  is shinkly  thinkly  shaking  in  his  schayns.  Sat  will  be  off follteedee. This  ^ejj^reme  has  being  efferedyou  by  Bett  and  Tipp.  Tipp  and Bett,  our  swapstick  quackchancers^  in  From  Topphole  to  Bot- tom o/The  Irish  Race  and  World.]
TAFF  {awary  that  the  first  sports  report  of  Loundin  Reginald has  now  been  after  thoughtfully  colliberated  by  a  saggind  spurts flash,  takes  the  dipperend  direction  and^  for  tasing  the  tiomor  of
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malaise  after  the  pognency  of  orangultoniay  orients  by  way  of  Sagit- tarius towards  Draco  on  the  Lour),  And  you  collier  carsst  on  him, the  corsar,  with  Boyle,  Burke  and  Campbell,  I'll  gogemble  on strangbones  tomb.  You  had  just  been  cerberating  a  camp  camp camp  to  Saint  Sepulchre's  march  through  the  armeemonds  re- treat with  the  boys  all  marshalled,  scattering  giant's  hail  over  the curseway,  fellowed  along  the  rout  by  the  stenchions  of  the corpse.  Tell  the  coldspell's  terroth!  If  you  please,  commeylad! Perfedes  Albionias!  Think  some  ingain  think,  as  Teakortairer sate  over  the  Galwegian  caftan  forewhen  Orops  and  Aasas  were chooldrengs  and  micramacrees !  A  forward  movement,  Miles  na Bogaleen,  and  despatch!
BUTT  {slinking  his  coatsleeves  surdout  over  his  squad  mutton shoulder  so  as  to  loop  more  life  the  jauntlyman  as  he  scents  the ^^SS^^B^^  y^P  behound  their  whole  scoopchinas  desperate  noy's totalage  and  explaining  aposteriorly  how  awstooloo  was  valde- somhre  helowes  hero  and  he  was  in  a  greak  esthate  phophiar  an erixtion  on  the  soseptuple  side  of  him  made  spoil  apriori  his  popo- porportiums).  Yass,  zotnyzor,  I  don't  think  I  did  not,  pojr.  Never you  brother  me  for  I  scout  it,  think  you !  Ichts  nichts  on  nichts ! Creates  Schtschuptar !  Me  fol  the  rawlawdy  in  the  schpirrt  of  a schkrepz.  Of  all  the  quirasses  and  all  the  qwehrmin  in  the  tra- gedoes  of  those  antiants  their  grandoper,  that  soun  of  a  gun- nong,  with  his  sabaothsopolettes,  smooking  his  scandleloose  at botthends  of  him!  Foinn  duhans!  I  grandthinked  after  his  obras after  another  time  about  the  itch  in  his  egondoom  he  was  legging boldylugged  from  some  pulversporochs  and  lyoking  for  a  stool- eazy  for  to  nemesisplotsch  allafranka  and  for  to  salubrate  himself with  an  ultradungs  heavenly  mass  at  his  base  by  a  suprime  pomp- ship  chorams  the  perished  popes,  the  reverend  and  allaverred cromlecks,  and  when  I  heard  his  lewdbrogue  reciping  his  cheap cheateary  gospeds  to  sintry  and  santry  and  sentry  and  suntry  I thought  he  was  only  haftara  having  afterhis  brokeforths  but  be the  homely  Churopodvas  I  no  sooner  seen  aghist  of  his  frighte- ousness  then  I  was  bibbering  with  vear  a  few  versets  off  fooling  for fjorg  for  my  fifth  foot.  Of  manifest  'tis  obedience  and  the.  Flute!
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TAFF  {though  the  unglucksarsoon  is  giming  for  to  git  him^  jotning in,  hoghly  ligious,  hapagodlap,  like  a  soldierry  sap,  with  a  pique  at his  cue  and  a  tyr  in  his  eye  and  a  bond  of  his  back  and  a  croak  in  his cry  as  did  jolly  well  harm  lean  o'er  him)  Is  not  athug  who  would. Weepon,  weeponder,  song  of  sorrowmon!  Which  goatheye and  sheepskeer  they  damnty  well  know.  Papaist!  Gambanman! Take  the  cawraidd's  blow!  Yia!  Your  partridge's  last!
BUTT  {giving  his  scimmianised  twinge  in  acknuckledownedgment of  this  cumulikick,  strafe  from  the  firetrench,  studenly  drobs  led,  sa- toniseels  ouchyotchy,  he  changecors  induniforms  as  he  is  lefting  the gat  out  of  the  big:  his  face  glows  green,  his  hair  greys  white,  his hleyes  bcome  broon  to  suite  his  cultic  twalette).  But  when  I  seeing him  in  his  oneship  fetch  along  within  hail  that  tourrible  tall with  his  nitshnykopfgoknob  and  attempting  like  a  brandylogged rudeman  cathargic,  lugging  up  and  laiding  down  his  livepelts so  cruschinly  like  Mebbuck  at  Messar  and  expousing  his  old skinful  self  tailtottom  by  manurevring  in  open  ordure  to  renew- murature  with  the  cowruads  in  their  airish  pleasantry  I  thanked he  was  recovering  breadth  from  some  herdsquatters  beyond  the carcasses  and  I  couldn't  erver  nerver  to  tell  a  Hard  story  not  of  I knew  the  prize  if  from  lead  or  alimoney.  But  when  I  got  inoccu- pation of  a  full  new  of  his  old  basemiddelism,  in  ackshan,  pagne pogne,  by  the  veereyed  lights  of  the  stormtrooping  clouds  and in  the  sheenfiare  of  the  batdeaxes  of  the  heroim  and  mid  die shieldfails  awail  of  the  bitteraccents  of  the  sorafim  and  caught  the pfierce  tsmell  of  his  aurals,  orankastank,  a  suphead  setrapped, like  Peder  the  Greste,  altipaltar,  my  bill  it  forsooks  allegiance (gut  bull  it!)  and,  no  lie  is  this,  I  was  babbeing  and  yetaghain bubbering,  bibbelboy,  me  marrues  me  shkewers  me  gnaas  me fiet,  tob  tob  tob  beat  it,  solongopatom.  Clummensy  if  ever  mis- used, must  used  you's  now!  But,  meac  Coolp,  Arram  of  Eirze- rum,  as  I  love  our  Deer  Dirouchy,  I  confesses  withould  pride- jealice  when  I  looked  upon  the  Saur  of  all  the  Haurousians  with die  weight  of  his  arge  fullin  upon  him  from  the  travaillings  of his  tommuck  and  rueckenased  the  fates  of  a  bosser  there  was  fear on  me  the  sons  of  Nuad  for  him  and  it  was  heavy  he  was  for  me
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then  the  way  I  immingled  my  Irmenial  hairmaierians  ammon- gled  his  Gospolis  fomiliours  till,  achaura  moucreas,  I  adn't  the arts  to.
TAFF  (as  a  marrcr  off  act,  prepensing  how  such  waldmanns  from Burnias  seduced  country  clowns^  he  is  preposing  harangaparang after  going  knowing  what  he  is  doing  after  to  see  him  pluggy  well moidered  as  a  murder  effect^  you  bet  your  hlowie  knife^  before  he doie  soie^  sopprused  though  he  is)  Grot  Zot!  You  hidn't  the  hurts? Vott  Fonn !
BUTT  {hearing  somrother  sudly  give  twor three  peevish  sniff  snuff snoores  like  govalise  falseleep  he  waitawhishts  to  see  might  he  stirs and  then  goes  on  kuldrum  like  without  asking  for  pepeace  or  anysing a  soul).  Merzmard!  I  met  with  whom  it  was  too  late.  My  fate!  O hate!  Fairwail!  Fearwealing  of  the  groan!  And  think  of  that when  you  smugs  to  bagot.
TAFF  (who  meanwhilome  at  yarns  length  so  as  to  put  a  nodje in  the  poestcher^  by  wile  of  stoccan  his  hand  and  of  rooma  makin her  getting  umptyums  gatherumed  off  the  skattert^  had  been  lavish- ing^ lagan  on  lighthouse^  words  of  silent  power^  susu  glouglou  biri- biri  gongoSj  upon  the  repleted  speechsalver  ^s  innkeeping  right  which^ thanks  giveme  and  naperied  norms  nonobstaclant,  there  can  be  little doubt y  have  resulted  in  a  momstchance  ministring  of  another  guid- ness,  my  good^  to  see)  Bompromifazzio !  Shumpum  for  Pa-li-di and  oukosouso  for  the  nipper  dandy!  Trink  off  this  scup  and  be bladdy  orafferteed !  To  bug  at?
BUTT  (he  whipedoff's  his  chimbley  phot^  as  lips  lovecurling  to  the tongueopener ^  he  takecups  the  communion  of  sense  at  the  hands  of the  foregiver  of  trosstpassers  and  thereinofter  centelinnates  that potifex  miximhost  with  haruspical  hospedariaty  proferring  into  his pauses  somewhot  salt  bacon),  Theres  scares  knud  in  this  gnarld warld  a  fully  so  svend  as  dilates  for  the  improvement  of  our foerses  of  nature  by  your  very  ample  solvent  of  referacting  upon me  like  is  boesen  fiennd.
\The  other  foregotthened  abbosed  in  the  Mullingaria  are during  this  swishingsight  teilweisioned.  How  the  fictionable  world
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in  Fruiian  Creamtartery  is  loading  off  heavy  furses  and  affubling themselves  with  muc kins  tushes.  The  neatschknee  Novgolosh.  How the  spinach  ruddocks  are  being  tatoovatted  up  for  the  second comings  of  antigreenst.  Hehencros  for  Aromal  Peace.  How Alibey  Ibrahim  wisheths  Bella  Suora  to  a  holy  cryptmahs  while the  Arumbian  Knives  Riders  axecutes  devilances  round  the jehumispheure.  Learn  the  Nunsturk,  How  Old  Vales  beys  is making  reholutions  for  the  cunning  New  Yirls,  never  elding^ still  begiddingj  never  to  mate  to  lend^  never  to  ate  selleries  and never  to  add  soulleries  and  never  to  ant  sulleries  and  never  to  aid sillcries  with  sucharow  with  sotchyouroff  as  Burkeleys  Show's a  ructiongetherall.  Phone  for  Phineal  toomellow  aftermorn  and your  phumeraVs  a  roselixion.]
TAFF  (now  as  he  has  been  past  the  buckthurnstock  from  Peadhar Piper  of  Colliguchuna^  whiles  they  all  are  bealting  pots  to  dubrin din  for  old  daddam  dombstom  to  tomb  and  wamb  humbs  lumbs agamb^  glimpse  agam^  glance  agen^  rise  up  road  and  hive  up  hill^ and  find  your  pollyvoulley  foncey  pitchin  ingles  in  the  parler).  Since you  are  on  for  versingrhetorish  say  your  piece!  How  Buccleuch shocked  the  rosing  girnirilles.  A  ballet  of  Gasty  Power.  A  hov and  az  ov  and  off  like  a  gow!  And  don't  live  out  the  sad  of  tearfs, piddyawhick!  Not  offgott  affsang  is  you,  buthbach?  Ath  yet- heredayth  noth  endeth,  hay?  Vaersegood!  Buckle  to!  Sayyessik, Ballygarry.  The  fourscore  soculums  are  watchyoumaycodding to  cooll  the  skoopgoods  blooff.  Harkabuddy,  feign!  Tliingman placeyear  howed  wholst  somwom  shimwhir  tinkledinkledelled. Shinfine  deed  in  the  myrtle  of  the  bog  tway  fainmain  stod  op  to slog,  free  bond  men  lay  lurkin  on.  Tuan  about  whattinghim! Fore  sneezturmdrappen !  'Twill  be  a  rpnice  pscliange,  arrah,  sir.'^ Can  you  come  it,  budd?
BUTT  (who  in  the  cushlows  of  his  goods  for  seeking  hoarth^  ever fondlinger  of  his  pimple  spurk^  is  a  niallist  of  the  ninth  homestages^ the  babybell  in  his  baggutstract  upper  going  off  allatwanst,  begad, lest  he  should  challenge  himself  beygoad,  till  angush).  Horrasure, toff!  As  said  as  would.  It  was  Colporal  Phailinx  first.  Hittit  was
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of  another  time,  a  white  horsday  where  the  midril  met  the  bulg, sbogom,  roughnow  along  about  the  first  equinarx  in  the  cholon- der,  on  the  plain  of  Khorason  as  thou  goest  from  the  mount  of Bekel,  Steep  Nemorn,  elve  hundred  and  therety  and  to  years how  the  krow  flees  end  in  deed,  after  a  power  of  skimiskes, blodidens  and  godinats  of  them,  when  we  sight  the  beasts,  (heg- heg  whatlk  of  wraimy  wetter!),  moist  moonful  date  man  aver held  dimsdzey  death  with,  and  higheye  was  in  the  Reilly  Oirish Krzerszonese  Milesia  asundurst  Sirdarthar  Woolwichleagues, good  tomkeys  years  somewhile  in  Crimealian  wall  samewhere in  Ayerland,  during  me  weeping  stillstumms  over  the  freshprosts of  Eastchept  and  the  dangling  garters  of  Marrowbone  and  daring my  wapping  stiltstunts  on  Bostion  Moss,  old  stile  and  new  style and  heave  a  lep  onwards.  And  winn  again,  blaguadargoos,  or lues  the  day,  plays  goat,  the  banshee  pealer,  if  moskats  knows whoss  whizz,  the  great  day  and  the  druidful  day  come  San Patrisky  and  the  grand  day,  the  excellent  fine  splendorous  long agreeable  toastworthy  cylindrical  day,  go  Sixt  of  the  Ninth,  the heptahundread  annam  dammias  that  Hajizfijjiz  ells  me  is  and will  and  was  be  till  the  timelag  is  in  it  that's  told  in  the  Bok  of Alam  to  columnkill  all  the  prefacies  of  Erin  gone  brugk.  But Icantenue.  And  incommixtion.  We  was  lowsome  like  till  we'd took  out  after  the  dead  beats.  So  I  begin  to  study  and  I  soon show  them  day's  reasons  how  to  give  the  cold  shake  to  they blighty  perishers  and  lay  one  over  the  beats.  All  feller  he  look he  call  all  feller  come  longa  villa  finish.  Toumbalo,  how  was I  acclapadad!  From  them  banjopeddlars  on  the  raid.  Gidding up  me  anti  vanillas  and  getting  off  the  stissas  me  aunties. Boxerising  and  coxerusing.  And  swiping  a  johnny  dann sweept  for  to  exercitise  myself  neverwithstanding  the  topkats and  his  roaming  cartridges,  orussheying  and  patronning,  out all  over  Crummwiliam  wall.  Be  the  why  it  was  me  who  haw haw.
TAFF  {all  for  letting  his  tinder  and  lighting  be  put  to  beheiss  in the  feuer  and^  while  durblinly  obasiant  to  the  felicias  of  the  skivis, still  smolking  his  fulvurite  turfkish  in  the  rooking  pressance  of
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laddios),  Yaa  hoo  how  how,  col?  Whom  battles  joined  no  bottles sever!  Worn't  you  aid  a  comp?
BUTT  (in  his  difficoltous  tresdobremient^  he  feels  a  bitvalike  a baddlefall  of  staot  but  falls  a  batforlake  a  borrlefull  of  bare).  And me  awlphul  omegrims!  Between  me  rassociations  in  the  postlea- deny  past  and  me  disconnections  with  aplompervious  futules I've  a  boodle  full  of  maimeries  in  me  buzzim  and  medears  runs sloze,  bleime,  as  I  now  with  platoonic  leave  recoil  in  (how  the thickens  they  come  back  to  one  to  rust!)  me  misenary  post  for all  them  old  boyars  that's  now  boomaringing  in  waulholler,  me alma  marthyrs.  I  dring  to  them,  bycorn  spirits  fuselaiding,  and you  cullies  adjutant,  even  where  its  contentsed  wody,  with absents  wehrmuth.  Junglemen  in  agleement,  I  give  thee  our greatly  swooren,  Theoccupant  that  Rueandredful,  the  thrown- fullvner  and  all  our  royal  devouts  with  the  arrest  of  the  whole inhibitance  of  Neuilands !  One  brief  mouth.  And  a  velligoolap- now !  Meould  attashees  the  currgans,  (if  they  could  get  a  kick  at this  time  for  all  that's  hapenced  to  us!)  Cedric  said  Gormleyson and  Danno  O'Dunnochoo  and  Conno  O'Cannochar  it  is  this were  their  names  for  we  were  all  under  that  manner  barracksers on  Kong  Gores  Wood  together,  thurkmen  three,  with  those khakireinettes,  our  miladies  in  their  toileries,  the  twum  plum- yumnietcies,  Vjeras  Vjenaskayas,  of  old  Djadja  Uncken  who was  a  great  mark  for  jinking  and  junking,  up  the  palposes  of womth  and  wamth,  we  war,  and  the  charme  of  their  lyse  brocade. For  lispias  harth  a  burm  in  eye  but  whem  it  bames  fire  norone screeneth.  Hulp,  hulp,  huzzars!  Raise  ras  tryracy!  Freetime's free!  Up  Lancesters!  Anathem!
TAFF  (who  still  senses  that  heavinscent  houroines  that  enter- trained  him  who  they  were  sinuorivals  from  the  sunny  Espionia  but plied  wopsy  with  his  wallets  in  thatthack  of  the  bustle  Bakerloo^ (11.32),  passing  the  uninational  truthbosh  in  smoothing  irony  over the  multinotcher ailed  infructuosities  of  his  grinner  set).  The  rib,  ^ the  rib,  die  quean  of  oldbyrdes,  Sinya  Sonyavitches!  Your Rhoda  Cockardes  that  are  raday  to  embrace  our  ruddy  inflamtry world!  In  their  ohosililesvienne  biribarbebeway.  Till  they've
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kinks  in  their  tringers  and  boils  on  their  taws.  Whor  dor  the  pene lie,  Mer  Pencho?  1st  dramhead  countmortial  or  gonorrhal  stab? Mind  your  pughs  and  keaoghs,  if  you  piggots,  marsh!  Do  the nut,  dingbut!  Be  a  dag!  For  zahur  and  zimmerminnes!  Sing  in the  chorias  to  the  ethur:
[In  the  heliotropical  noughttime  following  a  fade  of  trans- formed Tuff  and,  pending  its  viseversion,  a  metenergic  reglow of  beaming  Batt,  the  hairdhoard  bombardment  screen,  if  taste- fully taut  guranium  satin,  tends  to  teleframe  and  step  up  to the  charge  of  a  light  barricade.  Down  the  photoslope  in  syncopanc pulses,  with  the  bitts  bugtwug  their  teffs,  the  missledhropes, glitter aglatteraglutt,  borne  by  their  carnier  waive.  Spraygun rakes  and  splits  them  from  a  double  focus:  grenadite,  damny- mite,  alextronite,  nichilite:  and  the  scanning  firespot  of  the sgunners  traverses  the  rutilanced  illustred  sunksundered  lines. Shlosshf  A  gaspel  truce  leaks  out  over  the  caeseine  coatings. Amid  a  fluorescence  of  spectracular  mephiticism  there  caoculates through  the  inconoscope  stealdily  a  still,  the  figure  of  a  fellow- chap  in  the  wohly  ghast,  Popey  O' Donos hough,  the  jesuneral of  the  russuates.  The  idolon  exhibisces  the  seals  of  his  orders: the  starre  of  the  Son  of  Heaven,  the  girtel  of  I-^odella  the  Calot- tica,  the  cross  of  Michelides  Apaleogos,  the  latchet  of  Jan  of Nepomuk,  the  puffpuff  and  pompom  of  Powther  and  Pall,  the great  belt,  hand  and  bucklings  of  the  Martyrology  of  Gorman. It  is  for  the  castomercies  mudwake  surveice.  The  victar.  Pleace to  notnoys  speech  above  your  dreadths,  please  to  doughboys.  Hll, smthngs  gnwrng  wthth  sprsnwtch!  He  blanks  his  oggles  because he  confesses  to  all  his  tellavicious  nieces.  He  blocks  his  nosoes  be- cause that  he  confesses  to  everywheres  he  was  always  putting  up  his latest  faengers.  He  wollops  his  mouther  with  a  sword  of  tusk  in  as because  that  he  confesses  how  opten  he  used  be  obening  her  howonton he  used  be  under ing  her.  He  boundles  alltogotter  his  manucupes with  his  pedarrests  in  asmuch  as  because  that  he  confesses  before all  his  handcomplishies  and  behind  all  his  comfoderacies.  And Qiereis  cant  came  back  saying  he  codant  steal  no  lunger,  yessis,
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ca^^  corm  buck  beqitzs  he  caudant  stall  awake)  he  touched  upon this  tree  of  livings  in  the  middenst  of  the  garerden  for  inasmuch as  because  that  he  confessed  to  it  on  Hillel  and  down  Dalem  and in  the  places  which  the  lepers  inhabit  in  the  place  of  the  stones and  in  pontofert  jusfuggading  amoret  now  he  come  to  think  of  it jolly  well  ruttengenerously  olyovyover  the  ole  blucky  shop.  Pugger old  Pumpey  0*  Dungaschifff  There  will  be  a  hen  collection  of  him after  avensung  on  the  field  of  Hanar.  Dumble  down^  looties  and gengstermen!  Dtin^  dtin^  dtin^  dtin/]
BUTT  (with  a  gisture  expansive  of  Mr  Lhugewhite  Cadderpollard with  sunflawered  beautonhole  pulled  up  point  blanck  by  mailbag mundaynism  at  Oldbally  Court  though  the  hissindensity  buck  far of  his  melovelance  tells  how  when  he  was  fast  marking  his  first lord  for  cremation  the  whyfe  of  his  bothem  was  the  very  lad's  thing to  elter  his  mehind).  Prostatates,  pujealousties!  Dovolnoisers, prayshyous!  Defense  in  every  circumstancias  of  deboutcheries no  the  chaste  daffs !  Pack  pickets,  pioghs  and  kughs  to  be  palsey- putred !  Be  at  the  peme,  prease,  of  not  forgetting  or  mere  betoken yourself  to  hother  prace!  Correct  me,  pleatze  commando,  for cossakes  but  I  abjure  of  it.  No  more  basquibezigues  for  this  pole aprican!  With  askormiles'  eskermillas.  I  had  my  billyfell  of duckish  delights  the  whole  pukny  time  on  rawmeots  and  juliannes with  their  lambstoels  in  my  kiddeneys  and  my  ramsbutter  in their  sassenacher  ribs,  knee  her,  do  her  and  trey  her,  when th'osirian  cumb  dumb  like  the  whalf  on  the  fiord  and  we  prey- ing players  and  pinching  peacesmokes,  troupkers  tomiatskyns all,  for  Father  Petrie  Spence  of  Parishmoslattary  to  go  and  leave us  and  the  crimsend  daun  to  shellalite  on  the  darkumen  (scene as  signed,  Slobabogue),  feeding  and  sleeping  on  the  huguenottes (the  snuggest  spalniel's  where  the  lieon's  tame!)  and  raiding revolations  over  the  allbegeneses  (sand  us  and  saint  us  and sound  as  agun!).  Yet  still  in  all,  spit  for  spat,  like  we  chantied  on Sunda  schoon,  every  warson  wearrier  kaddies  a  komnate  in his  schnapsack  and  unlist  I  am  getting  foegutfulls  of  the  rugi- ments  of  savaliged  wildfire  I  was  gamefellow  willmate  and  send
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us  victorias  with  nowells  and  brownings,  dumm,  sneak  and curry,  and  all  the  fun  I  had  in  that  fanagan's  week.  A  strange man  wearing  abarrel.  And  here's  a  gift  of  meggs  and  teggs.  And as  I  live  by  chipping  nortons.  And  'tis  iron  fits  the  farmer,  ay. Arcdesedo!  Renborumba!  Then  were  the  hellscyown  days  for our  fellows,  the  loyal  leibsters,  and  we  was  the  redugout  raw- recruitioners,  praddies  three  and  prettish  too,  a  wheeze  we  has in  our  waynward  islands,  wee  engrish,  one  long  blue  streak, jisty  and  pithy  af  durck  rosolun,  with  hand  to  hand  as  Homard Kayenne  was  always  jiggilyjugging  about  in  his  wendowed courage  when  our  woos  with  the  wenches  went  wined  for  a  song, tsingirillies'  zyngarettes,  while  Woodbine  Willie,  so  popiular with  the  poppyrossies,  our  Chorney  Choplain,  blued  the  air. Sczlanthas!  Banzaine!  Bissbasses!  S.  Pivorandbowl.  And  we  all tuned  in  to  hear  the  topmast  noviality.  Up  the  revels  drown  the rinks  and  almistips  all  round!  Paddy  Bonhamme  he  vives!  En- core! And  tig  for  tag.  Togatogtug,  My  droomodose  days  Y  loved you  abover  all  the  strest.  Blowhole  brasshat  and  boy  with  his boots  off  and  the  butch  of  our  bunch  and  all.  It  was  buckoo bonzer,  beleeme.  I  was  a  bare  prive  without  my  doglegs  but  I did  not  give  to  one  humpenny  dump,  wingh  or  wangh,  touching those  thusengaged  slavey  generales  of  Tanah  Kornalls,  the meelisha's  deelishas,  pronouncing  their  very  flank  movemens in  sunpictorsbosk.  Baghus  the  whatwar!  I  could  always  take  good cover  of  myself  and,  eyedulls  or  earwakers,  preyers  for  rain  or cominations,  I  did  not  care  three  tanker's  hoots,  ('sham!  hem! or  chafHt!)  for  any  feelings  from  my  lifeprivates  on  their  reptro- grad  leanins  because  I  have  Their  Honours  booth  my  respectables soeurs  assistershood  off  Lyndhurst  Terrace,  the  puttih  Misses Celana  Dalems,  and  she  in  vinting  her  angurr  can  belle  the  troth on  her  alliance  and  I  know  His  Heriness,  my  respeaktoble  me- dams  culonelle  on  Mellay  Street,  Lightnints  Gundhur  Sawabs, and  they  would  never  as  the  aimees  of  servation  let  me  down. Not  on  your  bludger  life,  touters!  No  peeping,  pimpadoors! And,  by  Jova,  I  never  went  wrong  nor  let  him  doom  till,  risky wark  rasky  wolk,  at  the  head  of  the  wake,  up  come  stumblebum
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(ye  olde  cottemptable!),  his  urssian  gemenal,  in  his  scutt's  rudes unreformed  and  he  went  before  him  in  that  nemcon  enchelonce with  the  same  old  domstoole  story  and  his  upleave  the  fallener as  is  greatly  to  be  petted  (whitesides  do  his  beard !)  and  I  seen  his brichashert  offensive  and  his  boortholomas  vadnhammaggs  vise a  vise  them  scharlot  runners  and  how  they  gave  love  to  him and  how  he  took  the  ward  from  us  (odious  the  fly  fly  flurtation of  his  him  and  hers!  Just  mairmaid  maddeling  it  was  it  he  was!) and,  my  oreland  for  a  rolvever,  sord,  by  the  splunthers  of  colt and  bung  goes  the  enemay  the  Percy  rally  got  me,  messg^r,  (as true  as  theirs  an  Almagnian  Gothabobus!)  to  blow  the  grand  off his  aceupper.  Thistake  it 's  meest!  And  after  meath  the  dulwich. We  insurrectioned  and,  be  the  procuratress  of  the  hory  synnotts, before  he  could  tell  pullyirragun  to  parrylewis,  I  shuttm,  missus, like  a  wide  sleever!  Hump  to  dump!  Tumbleheaver!
TAFF  {camelsensing  that  sonce  they  have  given  Iron  a  nuhlan the  volkar  boastsung  is  heading  to  sea  vermelhion  but  too  wellbred not  to  ignore  the  umiemlianess  of  his  rifaVs  preceedings^  in  an  effort towards  autosotorisation^  effaces  himself  in  favour  of  the  idiology alwise  behounding  his  lumpy  hump  off  homosodalism  which  means that  if  he  has  lain  amain  to  lolly  his  liking -cabronne!  -he  may  pops lilly  a  young  one  to  his  herth  -  combrune  -)  Oholy  rasher,  I'm  be- liever! And  Oho  bullyclaver  of  ye,  bragadore-gunneral !  The grand  ohold  spider!  It  is  a  name  to  call  to  him  Umsturdum  Vonn! Ah,  you  were  shutter  reshottus  and  sieger  besieged.  Aha  race  of fiercemarchands  counterination  oho  of  shorpshoopers.
BUTT  {miraculising  into  the  Dann  Deafir  warcry,  his  bigotes bristling^  as,  jittinju  triggity  shittery  pet,  he  shouts  his  thump  and feeh  fauh  foul  finngures  up  the  heighohs  of  their  ahsl)  Bluddy- muddymuzzle!  The  buckbeshottered!  He'll  umbozzle  no  more graves  nor  horne  nor  haunder,  lou  garou,  for  gayl  geselles  in dead  men's  hills!  Kaptan  (backsights  to  his  bared!).  His  Cum- bulent  Embulence,  the  frustate  fourstar  Russkakruscam,  Dom Allaf  O'Khorwan,  connundurumchuff.
TAFF  (who,  asbestas  can,  wi^  the  healps  of  gosh  and  his  blu^id maikar,  has  been  sulphuring  to  himsalves  all  the  pungataries
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of  sin  praktice  in  failing  to  furrow  theogonies  of  the  dommed). Trisseme,  the  mangoat!  And  the  name  of  the  Most  Marsiful, the  Aweghost,  the  Gragious  One!  In  sobber  sooth  and  in  souber civiles?  And  to  the  dirtiment  of  the  curtailment  of  his  all  of  man? Notshoh?
BUTT  [maomant  scoffin^  hut  apoxyomenously  deturbaned  but thems  bleachin  banes  will  be  after  making  a  bashmans  haloday  out of  the  euphorious  hagiohygiecynicism  of  his  die  and  be  diademmed). Yastsar!  In  sabre  tooth  and  sobre  saviles!  Senonnevero!  That he  leaves  nyet  is  my  grafe.  He  deared  me  to  it  and  he  dared  me do  it,  and  bedattle  I  didaredonit  as  Cocksnark  of  Killtork  can tell  and  Ussur  Ursussen  of  the  viktaurious  onrush  with  all  the rattles  in  his  arctic!  As  bold  and  as  madhouse  a  bull  in  a  meadows. Knout  Knittrick  Kinkypeard!  Olefoh,  the  sourd  of  foemoe times!  Unknun!  For  when  meseemim,  and  tolfoklokken  rolland allover  ourloud's  lande,  beheaving  up  that  sob  of  tunf  for  to claimhis,  for  to  wollpimsolff,  puddywhuck.  Ay,  and  untuoning his  culothone  in  an  exitous  erseroyal  Deo  Jupto.  At  that  instuUt to  Igorladns!  Prronto!  I  gave  one  dobblenotch  and  I  ups  with my  crozzier.  Mirrdo!  With  my  how  on  armer  and  hits  leg  an arrow  cockshock  rockrogn.  Sparro !
\The  abnihilisation  of  the  etym  by  the  grisning  of  the  grosning of  the  grinder  of  the  grunder  of  the  first  lord  of  Hurtreford  ex- polodotonates  through  Parsuralia  with  an  ivanmorinthorrorumble fragoromboassity  amidwhiches  genejoL  uttermosts  confussion  are perceivable  moletons  shaping  with  mulicules  while  Coventry plumpkins  f airly gosmother themselves  in  the  Landaunelegants of  Pinkadindy,  Similar  scenatas  are  proj ec tills ed from  Hullulullu^ Bawlawayo,  empyreal  Raum  and  mordern  Atems.  They  were precisely  the  twdves^f^clocks^  noon  minutes^  none  seconds,  //.  +  O  f At  someseat  of  Oldanelangs  Konguerrig,  by  dawnybreak  in  ^  /O^^oq Aira.]
TAFF  (skimperskamper^  his  wools  gatherings  all  over  cromlin what  with  the  birstol  boys  artheynes  and  is  it  her  tour  and  the crackery  of  the  fullfour  fivefirearms  and  the  crockery  of  their  dam-
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dam  domdom  chumbers).  Wharall  thubulbs  uptheaires!  Shatta- movick?
BUTT  {pulling  alast  stark  daniel  with  alest  doog  at  doorak  while too  greater  than  pardon  painfully  the  issue  of  his  mouth  diminuen- doing,  vility  of  vilities,  he  becomes,  allasvitally,  faint).  Shurenoff! Like  Faun  MacGhoul !
BUTT  and  TAFF  (desprot  slave  wager  and  foeman  feodal  un- sheckled,  now  one  and  the  same  person,  their  fight  upheld  to  right for  a  wee  while  being  baffled  and  tottered,  umbraged  by  the  shadow of  Old  Erssias  magisquammythical  mulattomilitiaman,  the  living by  owning  over  the  surfers  of  the  glebe  whose  sway  craven  minnions had  caused  to  revile,  as,  too  foul  for  hell,  under  boiling  Mauses^ burning  brand,  he  falls  by  GolVs  gillie,  but  keenheartened  by  the circuminsistence  of  the  Parkes  0' Rarely s  in  a  hurdly  gurdly  Cicilian concertone  of  their  fonngeena  barney  brawl,  shaken  everybothy  s hands,  while  S.  E,  Morehampton  makes  leave  to  E.  N.  Sheil- martin  after  Meetinghouse  Lanigan  has  embaraced  Vergemout Hall,  and,  without  falter  or  mormor  or  blathrehoot  of  sophs  terliness, pugnate  the  pledge  of  fiannaship,  dook  to  dook,  with  a  commonturn oudchd  of  fest  man  and  best  man  astoutsalliesemoutioun  palms  it off  like  commodity  tokens  against  a  cococancancacacanotioim). When  old  the  wormd  was  a  gadden  and  Anthea  first  unfoiled  her limbs  wanderloot  was  the  way  the  wood  wagged  where  opter and  apter  were  samuraised  twimbs.  They  had  their  mutthering ivies  and  their  murdhering  idies  and  their  mouldhering  iries  in that  muskat  grove  but  there'll  be  bright  plinnyflowers  in  Calo- mella's  cool  bowers  when  the  magpyre's  babble  towers  scorching and  screeching  from  the  ravenindove.  If  thees  lobed  the  sex  of his  head  and  mees  ates  the  seep  of  his  traublers  he's  dancing figgies  to  the  spittle  side  and  shoving  outs  the  soord.  And  he'll be  buying  buys  and  go  gulling  gells  with  his  flossim  and  jessim of  carm,  silk  and  honey  while  myandthys  playing  lancifer  lucifug and  what's  duff  as  a  bettle  for  usses  makes  coy  cosyn  corollanes* moues  weeter  to  wee.  So  till  butagain  budly  shoots  thon  rising germinal  let  bodley  chow  the  fatt  of  his  anger  and  badley  bide the  toil  of  his  tubb.
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[The  pump  and  pipe  pingers  are  ideally  reconstituted.  The putther  and  bowls  are  peterpacked  up.  All  the  presents  are  deter- mining  as  regards  for  the  future  the  howabouts  of  their  past absences  which  they  might  see  on  at  hearing  could  they  once  smell of  tastes  from  touch.  To  ought  find  a  values  for.  The  must  over- listingness.  When  ex  what  is  ungiven.  As  ad  where,  Stillhead, Blunk.]
Shutmup.  And  bud  did  down  well  right.  And  if  he  sung  dumb in  his  glass  darkly  speech  lit  face  to  face  on  allaround.
Vociferagitant.  Viceversounding.  Namely,  Abdul  Abulbul Amir  or  Ivan  Slavansky  Slavar.  In  alldconfusalem.  As  to  whom  the major  guiltfeather  pertained  it  was  Hercushiccups'  care  to  educe. Beauty's  bath  she's  bound  to  bind  beholders  and  pride,  his  purge, has  place  appoint  in  penance  and  the  law's  own  libel  lifts  and lames  the  low  with  the  lofty.  Be  of  the  housed !  While  the  Hersy Hunt  they  harrow  the  hill  for  to  rout  them  rollicking  rogues from,  rule  those  racketeer  romps  from,  rein  their  rockery  rides from.  Rambling.
Nightclothesed,  arooned,  the  conquerods  sway.  After  their battle  thy  fair  bosom.
—  That  is  too  tootrue  enough  in  Solidan's  Island  as  in  Mol- tern  Giaourmany  and  from  the  Amelakins  off  to  date  back  to land  of  engined  Egypsians,  assented  from  his  opening  before  his inlookers  of  where  an  oxmanstongue  stalled  stabled  the  well- nourished  one,  lord  of  the  seven  days,  overlord  of  sats  and  suns, the  sat  of  all  the  suns  which  are  in  the  ring  of  his  system  of  the sats  of  his  sun,  god  of  the  scuffeldfallen  skillfilledfelon,  who  (he contaimns)  hangsters,  who  (he  constrains)  hersirrs,  a  gain  chang- ful,  a  mintage  vaster,  heavy  on  shirts,  lucky  with  shifts,  the  top- side humpup  stummock  atween  his  showdows  fellah,  Misto  Tee- wiley  Spillitshops,  who  keepeth  watch  in  Khummer-Phett,  whose spouse  is  An-Lyph,  the  dog's  bladder,  warmer  of  his  couch  in fore.  We  all,  for  whole  men  is  lepers,  have  been  nobbut  won- terers  in  that  chill  childerness  which  is  our  true  name  after  the allfaulters  (mug's  luck  to  em !)  and,  bespeaking  of  love  and  lie detectors  in  venuvarities,  whateither  the  drugs  truth  of  it,  was
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there  an  iota  of  from  the  faust  to  the  lost.  And  that  is  at  most  re- doubtedly  an  overthrew  of  each  and  ilkermann  of  us,  I  persuade myself,  before  Gow,  gentlemen,  so  true  as  this  are  my  kopfinpot astrode  on  these  is  my  boardsoldereds.
It  sollecited,  grobbling  hummley,  his  roundhouse  of  seven orofaces,  of  all,  guiltshouters  or  crimemummers,  to  be  sayd  by, codnops,  advices  for,  free  of  gracies,  scamps  encloded,  com- petitioning  them,  if  they  had  steadied  Jura  or  when  they  had raced  Messafissi,  husband  of  your  wifebetter  or  bestman  botcha- lover  of  you  yourself,  how  comes  ever  a  body  in  our  taylorised world  to  selve  out  thishis,  whither  it  gives  a  primeum  nobilees for  our  notomise  or  naught,  the  farst  wriggle  from  the  ubivence, whereom  is  man,  that  old  offender,  nother  man,  wheile  he  is asame.  And  fullexampling.  The  pints  in  question.  With  some  by- spills.  And  sicsecs  to  provim  hurtig.  Soup's  on !
—  A  time.  And  a  find  time.  Whenin  aye  was  a  kiddling.  And the  tarikies  held  sowansopper.  Let  there  beam  a  frishfrey.  And they  sodhe  gudhe  rudhe  brodhe  wedhe  swedhe  medhe  in  the kanddledrum.  I  have  just  (let  us  suppraise)  been  reading  in  a (suppressed)  book  —  it  is  notwithstempting  by  meassures  long and  limited — the  latterpress  is  eminently  legligible  and  the  paper, so  he  eagerly  seized  upon,  has  scarsely  been  buttered  in  works  of previous  publicity  wholebeit  in  keener  notcase  would  I  turf  aside for  pastureuration.  Packen  paper  paineth  whomto  is  sacred scriptured  sign.  Who  straps  it  scraps  it  that  might,  if  ashed,  have healped.  Enough,  however,  have  I  read  of  it,  like  my  good  bedst friend,  to  augur  in  the  hurry  of  the  times  that  it  will  cocommend the  widest  circulation  and  a  reputation  coextensive  with  its  merits when  inthrusted  into  safe  and  pious  hands  upon  so  edifying  a mission  as  it,  I  can  see,  as  is  his.  It  his  ambullished  with  expurga- tive  plates,  replete  in  information  and  accampaigning  the  action passiom,  slopbang,  whizzcrash,  boomarattling  from  burst  to past,  as  I  have  just  been  seeing,  with  my  warmest  venerections, of  a  timmersome  townside  upthecountrylifer,  (Guard  place  the town!)  allthose  everwhalmed  upon  diat  preposterous  blank  seat, before  the  wordcraft  of  this  early  woodcutter,  a  master  of  vignett-
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iennes  and  our  findest  grobsmid  among  all  dieir  orefices,  (and, shukar  in  chowdar,  so  splunderdly  English!)  Mr  Aubeyron Birdslay.  Chiabgoodchob,  arsoncheep  and  wellwillworth  a  triat! Bismillafoulties.  But  the  hasard  you  asks  is  justly  ever  behind  his meddle  throw!  Those  sad  pour  sad  forengistanters,  dastychappy dustyrust!  Chaichairs.  It  is  that  something,  awe,  aurorbean  in  that fellow,  hamid  and  damid,  (did  he  have  but  Hugh  de  Brassey's beardslie  his  wear  mine  of  ancient  guised)  which  comequeers  this anywhat  perssian  which  we,  owe,  realisinus  with  purups  a  dard of  pene.  There  is  among  others  pleasons  whom  I  love  and  which are  favourests  to  mind,  one  which  I  have  pushed  my  finker  in  for the  movement  and,  but  for  my  sealring  is  none  to  hand  I  swear, she  is  highly  catatheristic  and  there  is  another  which  I  have fombly  fongered  freequuntly  and,  when  my  signet  is  on  sign again  I  swear,  she  is  deeply  sangnificant.  Culpo  de  Dido !  Ars  we  rj say  in  the  classics.  Kunstful^  we  others  said.  What  ravening  shadow !
What  dovely  line!  Not  the  king  of  this  age  could  richlier  eyefeast  ^  ^ 
in  oreillental  longuardness  with  alternate  night  joys  of  a  thousand kinds  but  one  kind.  A  shahrryar  cobbler  on  me  when  I  am  lying ! And  whilst  (when  I  doot  my  slidjng  panel  and  I  hear  cawcaw)  I  ' -uh^ have  been  idylly  turmbing  over  the  loose  looves  leaflefts  jaggled casuallty  on  the  lamatory,  as  is  my  this  is,  as  I  must  commit my  lips  to  make  misface  for  misfortune,  often,  so  far  as  I  can chance  to  recollect  from  the  some  farnights  ago,  (so  dimsweet  is that  selvischdischdienence  of  to  not  to  be  able  to  be  obliged  to have  to  hold  further  anything  than  a  stone  his  throw's  jruit^  .c  p^coT^^p^ JalH)  when  I,  if  you  wil  excuse  for  me  this  informal  leading  down  ^^di^-H^ of  inexpressibles,  enlivened  toward  the  Author  of  Nature  by  the natural  sins  liggen  gobelimned  theirs  before  me,  (how  differen- ded  with  the  manmade  Eonochs  Cunstuntonopolies !),  weather- ed they  be  of  a  general  golf  stature,  assasserted,  or  blossomly emblushing  thems  elves  underneed  of  some  howthern  folleys, am  entrenched  jipxontemplating  of  myself,  wiz  my  naked  I,  for relieving  purposes  in  our  trurally  virvir  vergitabale  (garden)  I  ^ sometimes,  maybe,  what  has  justly  said  of  old  Flannagan,  a  wake from  this  or  huntsfurwards,  with  some  shock  (shell  I  so  render
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it?)  have  (when  I  ope  my  shylight  window  and  I  see  coocoo)  a notion  quiet  involuptary  of  that  I  am  cadging  hapsnots  as  at murmurrandoms  of  distend  renations  from  ficsimilar  phases  or dugouts  in  the  behindscenes  of  our  earthwork  (what  rovining shudder!  what  deadly  loom!)  as  this  is,  at  no  spatial  time  pro- cessly  which  regards  to  concrude  chronology  about  which  in fact,  at  spite  of  I  having  belittled  myself  to  my  gay  giftname  of insectarian,  happy  burgages  abeyance  would  make  homesweets- town  hopeygoalucrey,  my  mottu  propprior,  as  I  claim,  cad's truck,  I  coined,  I  am  highly  pelaged  and  deeply  gluttened  to mind  hindmost  hearts  to  see  by  their  loudest  reports  from  my threespawn  bottery  parts  (shsh!)  that,  colombophile  and  corvino- phobe  alike,  when  I  have  remassed  me,  my  travellingself,  as  from Magellanic  clouds,  after  my  contractual  expenditures,  through the  perofficies  of  merelimb,  I,  my  good  grief,  I  am,  I  am  big altoogooder.
He  beached  the  bark  of  his  tale;  and»  set  to  husband  and  vine: and  the  harpermaster  told  all  the  living  conservancy,  know Meschiameschianah,  how  that  win  a  gain  was  in  again.  Flying the  Perseoroyal.  Withal  aboarder,  padar  and  madar,  hal  and  sal, the  sens  of  Ere  with  the  duchtars  of  Iran.  Amick  amack  amock  in a  mucktub.  Qith  the  tou  loulous  and  the  gryffygryffygryffs,  at Fenegans  Wick,  the  Wildemanns.  Washed  up  whight  and  de- li veried  rhight.  Loud  lauds  to  his  luckhump  and  bejetties  on  jo- nahs!  And  they  winxed  and  wanxed  like  baillybeacons.  Till  we woksed  up  oldermen.
From  whose  plultibust  preaggravated,  by  baskatchairch  theo- logies (there  werenighn  on  thaurity  herouns  in  that  alraschil arthouducks  draken),  they  were  whoalike  placed  to  say,  in  the matters  off  ducomans  nonbar  one,  with  bears'  respects  to  him  and bulls'  acknowledgments  (come  on  now,  girls!  lead  off,  O  cara, whichever  won  of  you  wins!  The  two  Gemuas  and  Jane  Agrah and  Judy  Tombuys!)  disassembling  and  taking  him  apart,  the slammocks,  with  discrimination  for  his  maypole  and  a  rub  in passing  over  his  hump,  drogueries  inaddendance,  frons,  fesces and  frithstool:  i)  he  hade  to  die  it,  the  beetle,  2)  he  didhithim  self,
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I
hod's  fush,  3)  all  ever  the  pelican  huntered  with  truly  fond  bull- pen backthought  since  his  toork  human  life  where  his  personal low  outhired  his  taratoryism,  the  orenore  under  the  self  hide  of  his bessermettle,  was  forsake  in  his  chiltern  and  lumbojumbo,  4)  he was  like  Fintan  fore  flood  and  after  sometimes  too  damned merely  often  on  the  saved  side,  saw  he  was,  5)  regarding  to prussyattes  or  quazzyverzing  he  wassand  no  better  than  he  would have  been  before  he  could  have  been  better  than  what  he  warrant after,  6)  blood,  musk  or  haschish,  as  coked,  diamoned  or  pence- loid,  and  bleaching  him  naclenude  from  all  cohlorine  matter, down  to  a  boneash  bittstoff,  he's,  tink  fors  tank,  the  same  old dustamount  on  the  same  old  tincoverdull  baubleclass,  totstitty- winktosser  and  bogusbagwindburster,  whether  fitting  tyres  onto Danelope  boys  or  fluttering  flaus  for  laurettas,  whatever  the bucket  brigade  and  the  plug  party  says,  touchant  Arser  of  the Rum  Tipple  and  his  camelottery  and  lyonesslooting  but  with  a layaman's  brutstrenth,  by  Jacohob  and  Esahur  and  the  all  saults or  all  sallies,  what  we  warn  to  hear,  jeff",  is  the  woods  of  chirpsies cries  to  singaloo  sweecheeriode  and  sock  him  up,  the  oldcant rogue.
Group  K,  /  ^
You  have  jest  (a  ham)  beamed  listening  through  (a  ham  pig) his  haulted  excerpt  from  John  Whiston's  fiveaxled  production. The  Coach  With  The  Six  Insides^  from  the  Tales  of  Yore  of  the times  gone  by  before  there  was  a  hofdking  or  a  hoovthing  or  a pinginapoke  in  Oreland,  all  sould.  Goes  Tory  by  Eerie  Whigs  is To  Become  Tintinued  in  Pearsons  Nightly  in  the  Lets  All  Wake Brickfaced  In  Lucan.  Lhirondella,  jaunty  Ihirondella!  With  tirra lirra  rondinelles,  atantivy  we  go ! Attention!  Stand  at!!  Ease!!!
We  are  now  diffusing  among  our  lovers  of  this  sequence  (to you!  to  you!)  the  dewfolded  song  of  the  naughtingels  (Alys! Alysaloe!)  from  their  sheltered  positions,  in  rosescenery  hay- dyng,  on  the  heather  side  of  waldalure.  Mount  Saint  John's, Jinnyland,  whither  our  allies  winged  by  duskfoil  from  Moore- parque,  swift  sanctuary  seeking,  after  Sunsink  gang  (Oiboe!
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Hitherzither!  Almost  dotty!  I  must  dash!)  to  pour  their  peace  in partial  (floflo  floreflorence),  sweetishsad  lightandgayle,  twittwin twosingwoolow.  Let  everie  sound  of  a  pitch  keep  still  in  reson- ance, jemcrow,  jackdaw,  prime  and  secund  with  their  terce  that whoe  betwides  them,  now  full  theorbe,  now  dulcifair,  and  when we  press  of  pedal  (sof!)  pick  out  and  vowelise  your  name. A  mum.  You  pere  Golazy,  you  mere  Bare  and  you  Bill  Heeny,  and you  Smirky  Dainty  and,  more  beethoken,  you  wheckfoolthe- nairyans  with  all  your  badchthumpered  peanas!  We  are  gluck- glucky  in  our  being  so  far  fortunate  that,  bark  and  bay  duol  with Man  Goodfox  inchimings  having  ceased  to  the  moment,  so  allow the  clinkars  of  our  nocturnefield,  night's  sweetmoztheart,  their Carmen  Sylvae,  my  quest,  my  queen.  Lou  must  wail  to  cool  me airly!  Coil  me  curly,  warbler  dear!  May  song  it  flourish  (in  the underwood),  in  chorush,  long  make  it  flourish  (in  the  Nut,  in  the Nutsky)  till  thorush !  Secret  Hookup.
—  Roguenaar  Loudbrags,  that  soddy  old  samph!  How  high is  vuile,  var.'*
To  which  yes  he  did,  capt,  that  was  the  answer.
—  And  his  shartshort  trooping  its  colours !  We  knows  his ventruquulence.
Which  that  that  rang  ripprippripplying.
— Bulbul,  bulbulone !  I  will  shally.  Thou  shalt  willy .  You  wouldnt should  as  youd  remesmer.  I  hypnot.  'Tis  golden  sickle's  hour. Holy  moon  priestess,  we'd  love  our  grappes  of  mistellose!  Moths the  matter?  Pschtt!  Tabarins  comes.  To  fell  our  fairest.  O  gui,  O gui !  Salam,  salms,  salaum !  Carolus !  O  indeed  and  we  ware !  And hoody  crow  was  ere.  I  soared  from  the  peach  and  MissmoUy showed  her  pear  too,  onto  three  and  away.  Whet  the  bee  as  to deflowret  greendy  grassies  yellowhorse.  Kematitis,  cele  our  er- dours!  Did  you  aye,  did  you  eye,  did  you  everysee  suchaway, suchawhy,  eeriewhigg  airywhugger.'^  Even  to  the  extremity  of the  world?  Dingoldell!  The  enormanous  his,  our  littlest  little! Wee  wee,  that  long  alancey  one!  Let  sit  on  this  anthill  for  our frilldress  talk  after  this  day  of  making  blidie  inveiled  tlie  heart before  our  groatsupper  serves  to  us  Panchomaster  and  let  har-
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leqwind  play  peeptomine  up  all  our  colombinations !  Wins won  is  nought,  twigs  too  is  nil,  tricks  trees  makes  nix,  fairs  fears stoops  at  nothing.  And  till  Arthur  comes  againus  and  sen  pea- trick's  he's  reformed  we'll  pose  him  together  a  piece,  a  pace. Shares  in  guineases!  There's  lovely  the  sight!  Surey  me,  man weepful!  Big  Seat,  you  did  hear?  And  teach  him  twisters  in tongue  irish.  Pat  lad  may  goh  too.  Quicken,  aspen;  ash  and  yew; willow,  broom  with  oak  for  you.  And  move  your  tellabout.  Not nice  is  that,  limpet  lady!  Spose  we  try  it  promissly.  Love  all. Naytellmeknot  tennis !  Taunt  me  treattening !  But  do  now  say  to Mr  Eustache!  Ingean  mingen  has  to  hear.  Whose  joint  is  out  of jealousy  now.'*  Why,  heavilybody's  evillyboldy's.  Hopping  Gra- cius,  onthy  ovful !  O  belessk  mie,  what  a  nerve !  How  a  mans  in his  armor  we  nurses  know.  Wingwong  welly,  pitty  pretty  Nelly ! Some  Poddy  pitted  in,  will  anny  petty  pullet  out?  Call  Kitty Kelly!  Kissykitty  Killykelly!  What  a  nossowl  buzzard!  But  what a  neats  ung  gels !
Here  all  the  leaves  alift  aloft,  full  o'liefing,  fell  alaughing  over Ombrellone  and  his  parasollieras  with  their  black  thronguards from  the  County  Shillelagh.  Ignorant  invincibles,  innocents  im- mutant!  Onzel  grootvatter  Lodewijk  is  onangonamed  before  the bridge  of  primerose  and  his  twy  Isas  Boldmans  is  met  the  bluey- bells  near  Dandeliond.  We  think  its  a  gorsedd  shame,  these  go- doms.  A  lark  of  limonladies!  A  lurk  of  orangetawneymen !  You're backleg  wounted,  budkley  mister,  bester  of  the  boyne !
And  they  leaved  the  most  leavely  of  leaftimes  and  the  most folliagenous  till  there  came  the  marrer  of  mirth  and  the  jangthe- rapper  of  all  jocolarinas  and  they  were  as  were  they  never  ere. Yet  had  they  laughtered,  one  on  other,  undo  the  end  and  enjoyed their  laughings  merry  was  the  times  when  so  grant  it  High  Hila- rion  us  may  too !
Cease,  prayce,  storywalkering  around  with  gestare  romano- verum  he  swinking  about  is  they  think  and  plan  unrawil what.
Back  to  Droughty!  The  water  of  the  face  has  flowed. The  all  of  them,  the  sowriegueuxers,  blottyeyed  boys,  in  that
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pig's  village  smoke,  a  sixdigitarian  legion  on  druid  circle,  the Clandibblon  clam  cartel,  then  pulled  out  and  came  off  and  rally agreed  them,  roasted  malts  with  toasted  hurleys,  in  condomnation of  his  totomptation  and  for  the  duration  till  his  repepulation, upon  old  nollcromforemost  ironsides,  as  camnabel  chieftain,  since, as  Sammon  trowed  to  explain  to  summon,  seeing  that,  as  he  had contracted  out  of  islands  empire,  he  might  as  coolly  have  rolled to  school  call,  tarponturboy,  a  grampurpoise,  the  manyfathom brinegrogm  with  the  fortyinch  bride,  out  of  the  cuptin  klanclord kettle  auction  like  the  soldr  of  a  britsh  he  was  bound  to  be  and become  till  the  sea  got  him  whilask,  from  maker  to  misses  and what  he  gave  was  as  a  pattern,  he,  that  hun  of  a  horde,  is  a  finn as  she,  his  tent  wife,  is  a  lap,  at  home  on  a  steed,  abroad  by  the fire  (to  say  nothing  of  him  having  done  whatyouknow  howyou- saw  whenyouheard  whereyouwot,  the  kenspeckled  souckar, generose  as  cocke,  greediguss  with  garzelle,  uprighter  of  age  and most  umbrasive  of  yews  all,  under  heaviest  corpsus  exemption) and  whoasever  spit  her  in  howsoever's  fondling  saving  her keepers  that  mould  the  bould  she  sould  to  hould  the  wine  that wakes  the  barley,  the  peg  in  his  pantry  to  hold  the  heavyache  off his  heart.  The  droll  delight  of  deemsterhood,  a  win  from  the wood  to  bond.  Like  the  bright  lamps,  Thamamahalla,  yearin  out yearin.  Auspicably  suspectable  but  in  expectancy  of  respectable- ness.  From  dirty  flock  bedding,  drip  dropping  through  the  ceil- ing, with  two  sisters  of  charities  on  the  front  steps  and  three  eva- cuan  cleansers  at  the  back  gaze,  single  box  and  pair  of  chairs (suspectable),  occasionally  and  alternatively  used  by  husband when  having  writing  to  do  in  connection  with  equitable  druids and  friendly  or  other  societies  through  periods  of  dire  want  with comparative  plenty  (thunderburst,  ravishment,  dissolution  and providentiality)  to  a  sofa  allbeit  of  hoarsehaar  with  Amodicum cloth,  hired  payono,  still  playing  off,  used  by  the  youngsters  for czurnying  out  oldstrums,  three  bedrooms  upastairs,  of  which one  with  fireplace  (aspectable),  with  greenliouse  in  prospect  (par- ticularly perspectable).
And  you,  when  you  kept  at  Dulby,  were  you  always  (for  that
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time  only)  what  we  knew  how  when  we  (from  that  point  solely)
were  you  know  where?  There  you  are!  And  why?  Why,  hitch  a
cock  eye,  he  was  snapped  on  the  sly  upsadaisying  coras  pearls
out  of  the  pie  when  all  the  perts  in  princer  street  set  up  their
tinker's  humn,  (the  rann,  the  rann,  that  keen  of  old  bards),  with
them  newnesboys  pearcin  screaming  off  their  armsworths.  The
boss  made  dovesandraves  out  of  his  bucknesst  while  herself  i^^^TiXifyrclu^
wears  the  bowler's  hat  in  her  bath.  Deductive  Almayne  Rogers  ^ ,  f
disguides  his  voice,  shetters  behind  hoax  chestnote  from  exexive.
Heat  wives  rasing.  They  jest  keeps  rosing.  He  jumps  leaps  rizing.
Howlong!
You  known  that  tom?  I  certainly  know.  Is  their  bann  boths- tiesed?  Saddenly  now.  Has  they  bane  reneemed?  Soothinly  low. Does  they  ought  to  buy  the  papelboy  when  he  footles  up  their suit?  He's  their  mark  to  foil  the  flouter  and  they  certainty owe.
He  sprit  in  his  phiz  (baccon!).  He  salt  to  their  bis  (pudden!). He  toockled  her  palam  (so  calam  is  solom!).  And  he  suked  their friends'  leave  (bonn/ck  lass,  fair  weal !)
—  Guilty  but  fellows  culpows !  It  was  felt  by  me  sindeade,  that submerged  doughdoughty  doubleface  told  waterside  labourers.  | But  since  we  for  athome's  health  have  chanced  all  that,  the  wild  /fl^^^ whips,  the  wind  ships,  the  wonderlost  for  world  hips,  unto  their foursquare  trust  prayed  in  aid  its  plumptylump  piteousness which,  when  it  turtled  around  seeking  a  thud  of  surf,  spake  to approach  from  inherdoff  trisspass  through  minxmingled  hair. Though  I  may  have  hawked  it,  said,  and  selled  my  how  hot  peas  l^^^^-^^-^ after  theactrisscalls  from  my  imprecurious  position  and  though   '  l^-^"^ achance  I  could  have  emptied  a  pan  of  backslop  down  drain  b}^ whiles  of  dodging  a  rere  from  the  middenprivet  appurtenant thereof,  salving  the  presents  of  the  board  of  wumps  and  pumps, I  am  ever  incalpable,  where  release  of  prisonals  properly  is  con- cerned, of  unlifting  upfallen  girls  wherein  dangered  from  them in  thereopen  out  of  unadulteratous  bowery,  with  those  hintering influences  from  an  angelsexonism.  It  was  merely  my  barely  till their  oh  offs.  Missaunderstaid.  Meggy  Guggy's  giggag.  The
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code's  proof!  The  rebald  danger  with  they  who  would  bare  white- ness against  me  I  dismissem  from  the  mind  of  good.  He  can  tell such  as  story  to  the  Twelfth  Maligns  that  my  first  was  a  nurss- maid  and  her  fellower's  a  willbe  perambulatrix.  There  are  twingty to  twangty  too  thews  and  leathermail  coatschemes  penparing  to hostpost  for  it  valinnteerily  with  my  valued  fofavour  to  the  post puzzles  deparkment  with  larch  parchels'  of  presents  for  future branch  offercings.  The  green  approve  the  raid!  Shaum  Baum's bode  he  is  amustering  in  the  groves  while  his  shool  comes  merg- ing along!  Want  I  put  myself  in  their  kirtlies  I  were  ayearn  to leap  with  them  and  show  me  too  bisextine.  Dear  and  lest  I  for- get mergers  and  bow  to  you  low,  marchers!  Attemption!  What a  mazing  month  of  budsome  misses  they  are  making,  so  wingty- wish  to  flit  beflore  their  kin !  Attonsure !  Ears  to  hears !  The  skall of  a  gall  (for  every  dime  he  yawpens  that  momouth  you  could park  your  ford  in  it)  who  has  papertreated  him  into  captivities with  his  inside  man  by  a  hocksheat  of  starvision  for  an  avrageto- peace  of  parchment,  cooking  up  his  lenses  to  be  my  apoclogypst, the  recreuter  of  conscraptions,  let  him  be  asservent  to  Kinahaun ! For  (peace  peace  perfectpeace !)  I  have  abwaited  me  in  a  water  of Elin  and  I  have  placed  my  reeds  intectis  before  the  Registower  of the  perception  of  tribute  in  the  hall  of  the  city  of  Analbe.  How concerns  any  merryaunt  and  hworsoever  gravesobbers  it  is perensempry  sex  of  fun  to  help  a  dazzle  off  the  othour.  What  for Mucias  and  Gracias  may  the  duvlin  rape  the  handsomst!  And  the whole  mad  knightmayers'  nest!  Tunpother,  prison  and  plotch! If  Y  shoulden  somewhat,  well,  I  am  able  to  owe  it,  hearth  and  chem- ney  easy.  They  seeker  for  vannflaum  all  worldins  merkins.  V\\ eager  make  lyst  turpidump  undher  arkens.  Basast!  And  if  my  liti- gimate  was  well  to  wrenn  tigtag  cackling  about  it,  like  the  sally herd  she  is,  to  abery  ham  in  the  Cutey  Strict,  (I  shall  call  upon my  first  among  my  lost  of  lyrars  beyond  a  jingoobangoist,  to overcast  her)  dismissing  mundamanu  all  the  riflings  of  her  vic- tuum  gleaner  (my  old  chuck!  she  drakes  me  druck!  turning  out, gay  at  ninety!)  and  well  shoving  off  a  boastonmess  like  lots  wives does  over  her  handpicked  hunsbend,  as  she  would  be  calling,  well,
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i
for  further  oil  mircles  upon  all  herwayferer  gods  and  reanounc- ing  my  deviltries  as  was  I  a  locally  person  of  caves  until  I  got  my purchase  on  her  firmforhold  I  am,  I  like  to  think,  by  their  sacre- ligion  of  daimond  cap  daimond,  confessedly  in  my  baron  gentil- homme  to  the  manhor  bourne  till  ladiest  day  as  panthoposopher, to  have  splet  for  groont  a  peer  of  bellows  like  Bacchulus  shakes  a rousing  guttural  at  any  old  cerpaintime  by  peaching  (allsole  we are  not  amusical)  the  warry  warst  against  myself  in  the  defile  as a  lieberretter  sebaiscopal  of  these  mispeschyites  of  the  first  virgi- nial  water  who,  without  an  auction  of  biasement  from  my  part, with  gladyst  tone  ahquickyessed  in  it,  overhowe  and  under- where,  the  totty  lolly  poppy  flossy  conny  dollymaukins.  Though I  heave  a  coald  on  my  bauck  and  am  could  up  to  my  eres  hoven sametimes  I  used  alltides  to  be  aswarmer  for  the  meekst  and  the graced.  You  are  not  going  to  not.  You  might  be  threeabreasted wholenosing  at  a  whallhoarding  from  our  Don  Amir  anent  villa- yets  prostatution  precisingly  kuschkars  tarafs  and  it  could  be double  densed  uncounthest  hour  of  allbleakest  age  with  a  bad  of wind  and  a  barran  of  rain,  nompos  mentis  like  Novus  Elector,  what with  his  Marx  and  their  Groups,  yet  did  a  doubt,  should  a  dare, were  to  you,  you  would  do  and  dhamnk  me,  shenker,  dhumnk  you. Skunk.  And  fare  with  me  to  share  with  me.  Hinther  and  thonther, hant  by  hont.  By  where  dauvening  shedders  down  whose  rovely lanes.  As  yose  were  and  as  yese  is.  Sure  and  you  would,  Mr  Mac Gurk!  Be  sure  and  you  would,  Mr  O'Duane!  To  be  sure  and  you would  so,  Mr  MacElligut!  Wod  you  nods.^  Mom  mom.  No  mum has  the  rod  to  pud  a  stub  to  the  lurch  of  amotion.  My  little  love apprencisses,  my  dears,  the  estelles,  van  Nessies  von  Nixies  voon der  pool,  which  I  had  a  reyal  devouts  for  yet  was  it  marly  lowease or  just  a  feel  with  these  which  olderman  K.K.  Alwayswelly  he is  showing  ot  the  fullnights  for  my  palmspread  was  gav  to  a parsleysprig,  the  curliest  weedeen  old  ocean  coils  around,  so  spruce a  spice  for  salthorse,  sonnies,  and  as  tear  to  the  thrusty  as  Tay- lor's Spring,  when  aftabournes,  when  she  was  look  like  a  little cheayat  chilled  (Oh  sard!  ah  Mah!)  by  my  tide  impracing,  as Beacher  seath,  and  all  the  colories  fair  fled  from  my  folced  cheeks !
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Popottes,  where  you  canceal  me  you  mayst  forced  guage  my bribes.  Wickedgapers,  I  appeal  against  the  light!  A  nexistence  of vividence!  Panto,  boys,  is  on  a  looser  inloss;  ballet,  girls,  suppline thrown  tights.  I  have  wanted  to  thank  you  such  a  long  time  so much  now.  Thank  you.  Sir,  kindest  of  bottleholders  and  very  dear friend,  among  our  hearts  of  steel,  froutiknow,  it  will  befor  you, me  dare  beautiful  young  soldier,  winninger  nor  anyour  of  rudi- mental  moskats,  before  you  go  to  mats,  you  who  have  watched your  share  with  your  sockboule  sodalists  on  your  buntad  nogs  at our  love  tennis  squats  regatts,  suckpump,  when  on  with  the  balls did  disserve  the  fain,  my  goldrush  gainst  her  silvernetss,  to  say, biguidd,  for  the  love  of  goddess  and  perthanow  as  you  reveres your  one  mothers,  mitsch  for  matsch,  and  while  I  reveal  thus  my deepseep  daughter  which  was  bourne  up  pridely  out  of  meds- dreams  unclouthed  when  I  was  pillowing  in  my  brime  (of  Satur- nay  Eve,  how  now,  woren't  we't?),  to  see,  I  say,  whoahoa,  in  stay of  execution  in  re  Milcho  Melekmans,  increaminated,  what  you feel,  oddrabbit,  upon  every  strong  ground  you  have  ever  taken up,  by  bitterstiff  work  or  battonstaff  play,  with  assault  of  turk against  a  barrakraval  of  grakeshoots,  e'en  tho'  Jambuwel's  defe- calties  is  Terry  Shimmyrag's  upperturnity,  if  that  is  grace  for  the grass  what  is  balm  for  the  bramblers,  as  it  is  as  it  is,  that  I  am  the catasthmatic  old  ruffin  sippahsedly  improctor  to  be  seducint  tro- vatellas,  the  dire  daffy  damedeaconesses,  like  (why  sighs  the sootheesinger)  the  lilliths  oft  I  feldt,  and,  when  booboob  brutals and  cautiouses  only  aims  at  the  oggog  hogs  in  the  humand,  then, (Houtes,  Blymey  and  Torrenation,  upkurts  and  scotchem!)  FU tall  tale  tell  croon  paysecurers,  sowill  nuggets  and  nippers,  that thash  on  me  stumpen  blows  the  gaff  off  mombition  and  thit  thides or  marse  makes  a  good  dayle  to  be  shattat.  Fall  stuff. His  rote  in  ere,  afstef,  was.
And  dong  wonged  Magongty  till  the  bombtomb  of  the  warr, thrusshed  in  his  whole  soort  of  cloose.
Whisht  who  wooed  in  Weald,  bays  of  Bawshaw  binding.  The desire  of  Miriam  is  the  despair  of  Marian  as  Joh  Joseph's  beauty is  Jacq  Jacob's  grief.  Brow,  tell  nun;  eye,  feign  sad;  mouth,  sing
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r
mim.  Look  at  Lokman!  Whatbetween  the  cupgirls  and  the platterboys.  And  he  grew  back  into  his  grossery  baseness:  and for  all  his  grand  remonstrance:  and  there  you  are.
Here  endeth  chinchinatibus  with  have  speak  finish.  With  a haygue  for  a  halt  on  a  pouncefoot  pause.  Pink,  pleas  pink,  two pleas  pink,  how  to  pleas  pink. Punk.
Mask  one.  Mask  two.  Mask  three.  Mask  four.  J  --rL  ^  '  ^^^i^ U^^t.  R  ^
—  Look  about  you,  Tutty  Comyn!  y^^^  ^^hJL^
—  Remember  and  recall,  KuUykeg!
—  When  visiting  Dan  Leary  try  the  corner  house  for  thee.
—  I'll  gie  ye  credit  for  simmence  more  if  ye'll  be  lymphing.  t^^^^^^ /  OurJ*(mr^ayunculusts.
/     And,  since  threestory  sorratelling  was  much  too  many,  they /  maddened  and  they  morgued  and  they  lungd  and  they  jowld. /    Synopticked  on  the  word. Till  the  Juke  done  it. CjDown;)
Like  Jukoleon,  the  seagoer,  when  he  bore  down  in  his  perry boat  he  had  raised  a  slide  and  shipped  his  orders  and  seized  his pullets  and  primed  their  plumages,  the  fionnling  and  dubhlet,  the dun  and  the  fire,  and,  sending  them  one  by  other  to  fare  fore  forn, he  had  behold  the  residuance  of  a  delugion:  the  foggy  doze  still going  strong,  the  old  thalassocrats  of  invinsible  empores,  maskers oLthe  waterworld,  facing  one  way  to  another  way  and  this  way on  that  way,  from  severalled  their  fourdimmansions.  Where  the lighning  leaps  from  the  numbulous;  where  coold  by  cawld  breide lieth  langwid;  the  bounds  whereinbourne  our  soiled  bodies  all attomed  attaim  arrest:  appoint,  that's  all.  But  see  what  follows. Wringlings  upon  wronglings  among  incomputables  about  an uncomeoutable  (an  angel  prophetethis.'^  kingcorrier  of  beheasts.^  .  ^
the  calif  in  his  halifskin.'^  that  eyriewinging  one?)  and  the  voids bubbily  vode's  dodos  across  the  which  the  boomomouths  from their  dupest  dupes  were  in  envery  and  anononously  blowing great.
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J)
Guns.
Keep  backwards,  please,  because  there  was  no  good  to  gundy running  up  again.  Guns.  And  it  was  written  up  in  big  capital. Guns.  Saying  never  underrupt  greatgrandgosterfosters !  Guns. And  whatever  one  did  they  said,  the  fourlings,  that  on  no  acounts you  were  not  to.  Guns.
Not  to  pad  them  behaunt  in  the  fear.  Not  to  go,  tonnerwatter, and  bungley  well  chute  the  rising  gianerant.  Not  to  wandly  be woking  around  jerumsalemdo  at  small  hours  about  the  murketplots, smelling  okey  boney,  this  little  figgy  and  arraky  belloky  this  little pink  into  porker  but,  porkodirto,  to  let  the  gentlemen  pedesta- rolies  out  of  the  Monabella  culculpuration  live  his  own  left  leave, cullebuone,  by  perperusual  of  the  petpubblicities  without  inwok- ing  his  also's  between  (sic)  the  arraky  bone  and  (sue)  the  okey bellock.  And  not  to  not  be  always,  hemmer  and  hummer,  treeing unselves  up  with  one  exite  but  not  to  never  be  caving  nicely,  pre- cisely, quicely,  rebustly,  tendrolly,  unremarkably,  forsakenly,  hal- tedly,  reputedly,  firstly,  somewhatly,  yesayenoUy  about  the  back excits.  Never  to  weaken  up  in  place  of  the  broths.  Never  to  vvol- lusslleepp  in  the  pleece  of  the  poots.  And,  allerthings,  never  to  ate the  sour  deans  if  they  weren't  having  anysin  on  their  consients. And,  when  in  Zumschloss,  to  never,  narks,  cease  till  the  finely ending  was  consummated  by  the  completion  of  accomplishment.
And  thus  within  the  tavern's  secret  booth  The  wisehight  ones who  sip  the  tested  sooth  Bestir  them  as  the  Just  has  bid  to  jab  The punch  of  quaram  on  the  mug  of  truth.
K.C.  jowls,  they're  sodden  in  the  secret.  K.C.  jowls,  they  sure are  wise.  K.C.  jowls,  the  justicestjobbers,  for  they'll  find  another faller  if  their  ruse  won't  rise.  Whooley  the  Whooper. _Theieistasee.  Squarish  large  face  with  the  atlas  jacket.  Brights, brownie  eyes  in  bluesackin  shoeings.  Peaky  booky  nose  over  a lousiany  shirt.  Ruddy  stackle  hair  besides  a  strawcamel  belt. Namely.  Gregorovitch,  Leonocopolos,  Tarpinacci  and  Duggel- duggel.  And  was  theys  stare  all  atime.^  Yea  but  they  was.  Andor- ing  the  games,  induring  the  studies,  undaring  the  stories,  end  all. Ned.-^  Only  snugged  then  and  cosied  after  one  percepted  nought
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while  tuffbettle  outraged  the  waywords  and  meansigns  of  their
hinterhand  suppliesdemands.  And  be  they  gone  to  splane  splica-
tion?  That  host  that  hast  one  on  the  hoose  when  backturns  when
he  facefronts  none  none  in  the  house  his  geust  has  guest.  You  bet  ^  -
they  is.  And  nose  well  down.
With  however  what  sublation  of  compensation  in  the  radifica- tijon  of  interpretation  by  the  byeboys.'^  Being  they.  Mr  G.  B.  W.'j Ashburner,  S.  Bruno's  Toboggan  Drive,  Mr  Faixgood,  Bell-/ chimbers,  Carolan  Crescent,  Mr  LJL  Chattaway,  Hilly  Gape^^^^  »^ PQ,  Poplar  Park,  Mr  Q.  P.  Dieudonney,  The  View,  Gazey  PeerA Mr  T.  T.  Erchdeakin,  Multiple  Lodge,  Jiff  Exby  Rode,  Mr  W.  K.  | Ferris-Fender,  Fert  Fort,  Woovil  Doon  Botham  ontowhom adding  the  tout  that  pumped  the  stout  that  linked  the  lank  that cold  the  sandy  that  nextdoored  the  rotter  that  rooked  the  rhymer that  lapped  at  the  hoose  that  Joax  pilled.
The.y  had  heard  or  had  heard  said  or  had  heard  said  written.
Fidelisat.       p^'^dM^  l-l^  7^-^-^
That  there  first  a  rudrik  kingcomed  to  an  inn  court;  and  the seight  of  that  yard  was  a  perchypole  with  a  loovahgloovah  on  it; last  rmnnarks  m  when  wandshift  winneth  womans:  so
how  would  it  hum,  whoson  of  a  which,  if  someof  aswas  to  start to  stunt  the  story  on.'^
So  many  needles  to  ponk  out  to  as  many  noodles  as  are  com- pany, they  noddling  all  about  it  tutti  to  tempo,  decumans  numbered too,  (a)  well,  that  the  secretary  bird,  better  known  as  Pandoria PauUabucca,  whom  they  thought  was  more  like  a  solicitor  general, indiscriminatingly  made  belief  mid  authorsagastions  from  Schelm the  Pelman  to  write  somewords  to  Senders  about  her  chilikin puck,  laughing  that  Poulebec  would  be  the  death  of  her,  {l>)  that, well,  that  Madges  Tighe,  the  postulate  auditressee,  when  her daremood's  a  grownian,  is  always  on  the  who  goes  where,  hoping to  Michal  for  the  latter  to  turn  up  with  a  cupital  tea  before  her ephumeral  comes  off  without  any  much  father  which  is  parting parcel  of  the  same  goumeral's  postoppage,  it  being  lookwhyse  on the  whence  blows  weather  helping  mickle  so  that  the  loiter  end  of that  leader  may  twaddle  out  after  a  cubital  lull  with  a  hopes  soon
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to  ear,  comprong?  (c)  becakes  the  goatsman  on  question,  or  what- ever the  hen  the  humbler  was,  feeling  not  up  to  scratch  bekicks of  whatever  the  kiddings  Payne  Inge  and  Popper  meant  for  him, thoughy  onced  at  a  throughlove,  true  grievingfrue  danger,  as  a nirshe  persent  to  his  minstress,  devourced  the  pair  of  them Mather  Caray's  chucklings,  pante  blanche^  and  skittered  his  litters like  the  cavaliery  man  in  Cobra  Park  for  ungeborn  yenkelmen, Jeremy  Trouvas  or  Kepin  O'Keepers,  any  old  howe  and  any  old then  and  when  around  Dix  Dearthy  Dungbin,  remarking  sceni- cally  with  laddylike  lassitude  upon  what  he  finally  postscrapped, {d)  after  it's  so  long  till  I  thanked  you  about  I  do  so  much  now thank  you  so  very  much  as  you  introduced  me  to  fourks,  (e)  will, these  remind  to  be  sane?  (/)  Fool  step!  Aletheometry?  Or  just zoot  doon  floon?
Nut  it  out,  peeby  eye!  Onamassofmancynaves.
But.  Top.
You  were  in  the  same  boat  of  yourselves  too,  Getobodoff  or Treamplasurin;  and  you  receptionated  the  most  diliskious  of milisk;  which  it  all  flowowered  your  drooplin  dunlearies:  but dribble  a  drob  went  down  your  rothole.  Meaning,  Kelly,  Grimes, Phelan,  Mollanny,  O'Brien,  MacAlister,  Sealy,  Coyle,  Hynes- Joynes,  Naylar-Traynor,  Courcy  de  Courcy  and  Gilligan-Goll.
Stunner  of  oddstodds  on  bluebleeding  boarhorse!  What soresen's  head  subrises  thus  tous  out  of  rumpumplikun  oak  with, well,  we  cannot  say  whom  we  are  looking  like  through  his  now- face.'^  It  is  of  Noggens  whilk  dusts  the  bothsides  of  the  seats  of  the bigslaps  of  the  bogchaps  of  the  porlarbaar  of  the  marringaar  of  the Lochlunn  gonlannludder  of  the  feof  of  the  foef  of  forfummed Ship-le-Zoyd.
Boumce!  It  is  polisignstunter.  The  Sockerson  boy.  To  pump the  fire  of  the  lewd  into  those  soulths  of  bauchees,  havsouse- dovers,  tillfellthey  deadwar  knootvindict.  An  whele  time  he  was rancing  there  smutsy  floskons  nodunder  ycholerd  for  their poopishers,  ahull  onem  Fyre  maynoother  endnow!  Shatten  up ship!  Bouououmce!  Nomo  clandoilskins  cheakinlevers !  All ashored  for  Capolic  Gizzards!  Stowlaway  there,  glutany  of
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stainks !  Porterfillyers  and  spirituous  suncksters,  oooom  oooom !
As  these  vitupetards  in  his  boasum  he  did  strongleholder, bushbrows,  nobblynape,  swinglyswanglers,  sunkentrunk,  that from  tin  of  this  clucken  hadded  runced  slapottleslup.  For  him had  hord  from  fard  a  piping.  As?  Of?
Dour  douchy  was  a  sieguldson.  He  cooed  that  loud  nor  he was  young.  He  cud  bad  caw  nor  he  was  gray  Like  wather  parted from  the  say.  J
Ostia,  lift  it!  Lift  at  it,  Ostia!  From  the  say !  Away  from  the  say!
Himhim.  Himhim.
Hearhasting  he,  himmed,  reromembered  all  the  chubbs,  chipps, chaffs,  chuckinpucks  and  chayney  chimebells  That  he  had  mistri- buted  in  port,  pub,  park,  pantry  and  poultryhouse.  While  they, thered,  the  others,  that  are,  were  most  emulously  concerned  to cupturing  the  last  dropes  of  summour  down  through  their grooves  of  blarneying.  Ere  the  sockson  locked  at  the  dure.  Which he  would,  shuttinshure.  And  lave  them  to  sture.
For  be  all  rules  of  sport  'tis  right  That  youth  bedower'd  to charm  the  night  Whilst  age  is  dumped  to  mind  the  day  When wather  parted  from  the  say. cfy-  The  humming,  it's  coming.  Insway  onsway.
Fingool  MacKishgmard  Obesume  Burgearse  Benefice,  He  was bowen  hem  and  scrapin  him  in  recolcitrantament  to  the  right- about And  these  probenopubblicoes  clamatising  for  an  extinsion on  his  hostillery  With  his  chargehand  bombing  their  eres.  Tids, genmen,  plays,  she  been  goin  shoother  off  almaynoother  on- awares.
You  here  nort  farwellens  rouster?  Ashiffle  ashuffle  the  wayve they.
From  Dancingtree  till  Suttonstone  There's  lads  no  lie  would! filch  a  crown  To  mull  their  sack  and  brew  their  tay  With  wather parted  from  the  say.  J
Lelong  Awaindhoo's  a  selverbourne  enrouted  to  Rochelle Lane  and  liberties  those  Mullinguard  minstrelsers  are  marshal- sing,  par  tunepiped  road,  under  where,  perked  on  hollowy  hill,  that poor  man  of  Lyones,  good  Dook  Weltington,  hugon  come  er-
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rindwards,  had  hircomed  to  the  belles  bows  and  been  cutat- trapped  by  the  mausers.  Now  is  it  town  again,  londmear  of  Dub- lin !  And  off  coursse  the  toller,  pies  the  dotter  of  his  eyes  with her:  Moke  the  Wanst,  whye  doe  we  aime  alike  a  pose  of  poeter peaced?  While  the  dumb  he  shoots  the  shopper  rope.  And  they all  pour  forth.  Sans  butly  Tuppeter  Sowyer,  the  rouged  engene- rand,  a  barttler  of  the  beauyne,  still  our  benjamin  liefest,  some- time franklin g  to  thise  citye,  whereas  bigrented  him  a  piers  half subporters  for  his  arms,  Josiah  Pipkin,  Amos  Love,  Raoul  Le  Feb- ber,  Blaize  Taboutot,  Jeremy  Yopp,  Francist  de  Loomis,  Hardy Smith  and  Sequin  Pettit  followed  by  the  snug  saloon  seanad  of our  Cafe  Beranger.  The  scenictutors.
Because  they  wonted  to  get  out  by  the  goatweigh  afore  the  sheep was  looset  for  to  wish  the  Wobbleton  Whiteleg  Welshers  kailly- kailly  kellykekkle  and  savebeck  to  Brownhazelwood  from  all  the dinnasdoolins  on  the  labious  banks  of  their  swensewn  snewwes- ner,  turned  again  weastinghome,  by  Danesbury  Common,  and they  onely,  duoly,  thruely,  fairly  after  rainydraining  founty- buckets  (chalkem  up,  hemptyempty !)  till  they  caught  the  wind abroad  (alley  loafers  passinggeering !)  all  the  rockers  on  the roads  and  all  the  boots  in  the  stretes.
Oh  dere!  Ah  hoy!
Last  ye,  lundsmin,  hasty  hosty!  For  an  anondation  of  miri- fication  and  the  lutification  of  our  paludination.
His  bludgeon's  bruk,  his  drum  is  tore.  For  spuds  we'll  keep  the hat  he  wore  And  roll  in  clover  on  his  clay  By  wather  parted from  the  say.
Hray !  Free  rogue  Mountone  till  Dew  Mild  Well  to  corry  awen and  glowry!  Are  now  met  by  Brownaboy  Fuinnninuinn's  former for  a  lyncheon  partyng  of  his  burgherbooh.  The  Shanavan Wacht.  Rantinroarin  Batteries  Dorans.  And  that  whistling  thief, O'  Ryne  O'Rann.  With  a  catch  of  her  cunning  like  and  nowhere a  keener.
The  for  eolders  were  aspolootly  at  their  wetsend  in  the  mailing waters,  trying  to.  Hide!  Seek!  Hide!  Seek!  Because  number  one lived  at  Bothersby  North  and  he  was  trying  to.  Hide!  Seek!  Hide!
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Seek!  And  number  two  digged  up  Poors  Coort,  Soother,  trying to.  Hide!  Seek!  Hide!  Seek!  And  nomber  three  he  sleeped  with Lilly  Tekkles  at  The  Eats  and  he  was  trying  to.  Hide!  Seek! Hide!  Seek!  And  the  last  with  the  sailalloyd  donggie  he  was berthed  on  the  Moherboher  to  the  Washte  and  they  were  all  try- ing to  and  baffling  with  the  waiters  of,  hoompsydoompsy  waiters of.  High!  Sink!  High!  Sink!  Highohigh!  Sinkasink! Waves.
The  gangstairs  strain  and  anger's  up  As  Hoisty  rares  the  can and  cup  To  speed  the  bogre's  barque  away  O'er  wather  parted from  the  say.
Horkus  chiefest  ebblynuncies !
—  He  shook  be  ashaped  of  hempshelves,  hiding  that  shepe  in his  goat.  And  for  rassembling  so  bearfellsed  the  magreedy prince  of  Roger.  Thuthud.  Heigh  hohse,  heigh  hohse,  our  kin- dom  from  an  orse!  Bruni  Lanno's  woollies  on  Brani  Lonni's hairyparts.  And  the  hunk  in  his  trunk  it  would  be  an  insalt  foul the  matter  of  that  cellaring  to  a  pigstrough.  Stop  his  laysense. Ink  him !  You  would  think  him  Alddaublin  staking  his  lordsure  like a  gourd  on  puncheon.  Deblinity  devined.  Wholehunting  the  pairk on  a  methylogical  mission  whenever  theres  imberillas !  And  call- ing Rina  Roner  Reinette  Ronayne.  To  what  mine  answer  is  a lemans.  Arderleys,  beedles  and  postbillers  heard  him.  Three points  to  one.  Ericus  Vericus  corrupted  into  ware  eggs.  Dummy up,  distillery!  Broree  aboo!  Run  him  a  johnsgate  down  jameses- lane.  Begetting  a  wife  which  begame  his  niece  by  pouring  her youngthings  into  skintighs.  That  was  when  he  had  dizzy  spells. Till  Gladstools  Pillools  made  him  ride  as  the  mall.  Thanks  to  his huedobrass  beerd.  Lodenbroke  the  Longman,  now  he  canseels under  veerious  persons  but  is  always  that  Rorke  relly!  On  con- sideration for  the  musickers  he  ought  to  have  down  it.  Pass  out your  cheeks,  why  daunt  you!  Penalty,  please!  There  you'll  know how  warder  barded  the  bollhead  that  parssed  our  alley.  We  just are  upsidedown  singing  what  ever  the  dimkims  mummur  alla- lilty  she  pulls  inner  out  heads.  This  is  not  the  end  of  this  by  no manners  means.  When  you've  bled  till  you're  bone  it  crops  out
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in  your  flesh.  To  tell  how  your  mead  of,  mard,  is  made  of.  All  old Dadgerson's  dodges  one  conning  one's  copying  and  that's  what wonderland's  wanderlad'll  flaunt  to  the  fair.  A  trancedone  boy- script  with  tittivits  by.  Ahem.  You'll  read  it  tomorrow,  marn, when  the  curds  on  the  table.  A  nigg  for  a  nogg  and  a  thrate  for a  throte.  The  auditor  learns.  Still  pumping  on  Torkenwhite  Rad- lumps,  Lencs.  In  preplays  to  Anonymay's  left  hinted  palinode obviously  inspiterebbed  by  a  sibspecious  connexion.  Note  the notes  of  admiration!  See  the  signs  of  suspicion!  Count  the  hemi- semidemicolons !  Screamer  caps  and  invented  gommas,  quoites puntlost,  forced  to  farce !  The  pipette  will  say  anything  at  all  for a  change.  And  you  know  what  aglove  means  in  the  Murdrus  due- luct !  Fewer  to  feud  and  rompant  culotticism,  a  fugle  for  the  glee- men  and  save,  sit  and  sew.  And  a  pants  outsizinned  on  the Doughertys'  duckboard  pointing  to  peace  at  home.  In  some, lawanorder  on  lovinardor.  Wait  till  we  hear  the  Boy  of  Biskop reeling  around  your  postoral  lector!  Epistlemadethemology  for deep  dorfy  doubtlings.  As  we'll  lay  till  break  of  day  in  the  bunk  of basky,  O!  Our  island,  Rome  and  duty!  Well  tried,  buckstiff!  Batt in,  boot !  Sell  him  a  breach  contact,  the  vendoror,  the  buylawyer ! One  hyde,  sack,  hie!  Two  stick  hoist.  Lucky!  Finnish  Make  Goal! First  you  were  Nomad,  next  you  were  Namar,  now  you're  Nu- mah  and  it's  soon  you'll  be  Nomon.  Hence  counsels  Ecclesiast. There's  every  resumption.  The  forgein  ofhls  is  on  the  shove  to lay  you  out  dossier.  Darby's  in  the  yard,  planning  it  on  you,  plot and  edgings,  the  whispering  peeler  after  cooks  wearing  an  infor- mation. The  find  of  his  kind !  An  artist,  sir !  And  dirt  cheap  at a  sovereign  a  skull!  He  knows  his  Finsbury  Follies  backwoods so  you  batter  see  to  your  regent  refutation.  Ascare  winde  is  rifing again  about  nice  boys  going  native.  You  know  who  was  wrote about  in  the  Orange  Book  of  Estchapel?  Basil  and  the  two  other men  from  King's  Avenance.  Just  press  this  cold  brand  against your  brow  for  a  mow.  Gainfully!  The  sinus  the  curse.  That's  it. Hung  Ghung  Egglyfella  now  speak  he  tell  numptywumpty  top- sawys  belongahim  pidgin.  Secret  things  other  persons  place  there covered  not.  How  you  fell  from  story  to  story  like  a  sagasand
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to  lie.  Enfilmung  infirmity.  On  the  because  alleging  to  having  a finger^  fudding  in  pudding  and  pie.  And  here's  the  witnesses. Glue  on  to  him,  Greevy!  Bottom  anker,  Noordeece!  And  kick kick  killykick  for  the  house  that  juke  built!  Wait  till  they  send you  to  sleep,  scowpow!  By  jurors'  cruces!  Then  old  Hunphy- dunphyville'll  be  blasted  to  bumboards  by  the  youthful  herald who  would  once  you  were.  He'd  be  our  chosen  one  in  the  matter of  Brittas  more  than  anarthur.  But  we'll  wake  and  see.  The  wholes poors  riches  of  ours  hundreds  of  manhoods  and  womhoods.  Two      ^  ^yiiAJj<- cents,  two  mills  and  two  myrds.  And  it's  all  us  rangers  you'll  be       fti  f^'^ facing  in  the  box  before  the  twelfth  correctional.  Like  one  man, gell.  Between  all  the  Misses  Mountsackvilles  in  their  halfmoon haemicycles,  gasping  to  giddies  to  dye  for  the  shame.  Just  hold hard  till  the  one  we  leapt  out  gets  her  yearing!  Hired  in  cameras, extra!  With  His  Honour  Surpacker  on  the  binge.  So  yelp  your guilt  and  kitz  the  buck.  You'll  have  loss  of  fame  from  Wimme- ^ame's  fake.  Forwards !  One  bully  son  growing  the  goff  and  his twinger  read  out  by  the^Nazi  Priers.  You  fought  as  how  they'd never  woxen  up,  did  you,  crucket.'^  It  will  wecker  your  earse,  that itwiUl!  When  hives  the  court  to  exchequer  'tis  the  child  which gives  the  sire  away.  Good  for  you,  Richmond  Rover!  Scrum around,  our  side!  Let  him  have  another  between  the  spindlers!  A grand  game!  Dalymount's  decisive.  Don  Gouverneur  Buckley's         ^  jl^^^jC in  the  Tara  Tribune,  sporting  the  insides  of  a  Rhutian  Jhanaral  ^"^^trS^^ and  little  Mrs  Ex-Skaerer-Sissers  is  bribing  the  halfpricers  to  pray  ^^^^ for  her  widower  in  his  gravest  embazzlement.  You  on  her,  hosy    >  * jigses,  that'll  be  some  nonstop  marrimont!  You  in  your  stolen     l'1^^6?  S mace  and  anvil,  Magnes,  and  her  burrowed  in  Berkness  cirrchus  ^^,^J^.^^k^^.J^ clouthses.  Fummuccumul  with  a  graneen  aveiled.  Playing  down the  slavey  touch.  Much  as  she  was  when  the  fancy  cutter  out  col-  ,  ^
lecting  milestones  espied  her  aseesaw  on  a  fern.  So  nimb,  he  said, a  dat  of  dew.  Between  Furr-y-Benn  and  Ferr-y-Bree.  In  this  tear Vikloe  vich  he  lofed.  The  smiling  ever.  If  you  pulls  me  over  pay me,  prhyse  !  A  talor  would  adapt  his  caulking  trudgers  on  to  any shape  at  see^Address^  deceitfold  of  wovens  weard.  The  wonder of  the  women  of  the  world  together,  moya!  And  the  lovablest
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Lima  since  Ineen  MacCormick  MacCoort  MacConn  O'Puckins MacKundred.  Only  but  she  is  a  little  width  wider  got.  Be  moving abog.  You  cannot  make  a  limousine  lady  out  of  a  hillman  minx.  ^(Pf Listun  till  you'll  hear  the  Mudquirt  accent.  This  is  a  bulgen heresies,  this  is  wollan  indulgencies,  this  is  a  flemsh.\Tik^  Scapu- lars, beads  and  a  stump  of  a  candle,  Hubert  was  a  Hunter,  chemins I  f  de  la  croixes  and  Rosairette's  e_ggj,all  the  trimmings  off  the  tree that  she  picked  up  after  the  Clontarf  voterloost  when  O' Bryan MacBruiser  bet  Norris  Nobnut.  Becracking  his  cucconut  be- tween his  kknneess.  Umpthump,  Here  Inkeeper,  it's  the  doater- een's  wednessmorn!  Delphin  dringing!  Grusham  undergang! And  the  Real  Hymemians  strenging  strong  at  knocker  knocker! Holy  and  massalltolled.  You  ought  to  tak  a  dos  of  frut.  JiL' Sauss.  You're  getting  hoovier,  a  twelve  stone  hoovier,  fullends a  twelve  stone  hoovier,  in  your  corpus  entis  and  it  scurves  you right,  demnye!  Aunt  as  unclish  ams  they  make  oom.  ButNichtia \  f\,  frxt'  you  bound  not  to  loose's  gone  on  Neffin  since  she  clapped  her charmer  on  him  at  Gormagareen.  At  the  Gifting  Munting  Hunt- ing Putting.  The  eitch  is  in  her  blood,  arrah !  For  a  frecklesome freshcheeky  sweetworded  lupsqueezer.  And  he  shows  how  he'll pick  him  the  lock  of  her  fancy.  Poghue!  Poghue!  Poghue!  And a  good  jump,  Powell !  Clean  over  all  their  heads.  We  could  kiss him  for  that  one,  couddled  we,  Huggins?  Sparkes  is  the  footer^ ^^•2-  (  '  J^^  hance  off  nancies.  Scaldhead,  pursue !  Before  you  bunkledoodle down  upon  your  birchentop  again  after  them  three  blows  from time,  drink  and  hurry.  The  same  three  that  nursed  you.  Skerry, Badbols  and  the  Grey  One.  All  of  your  own  club  too.  With  the fistful  of  burryberries  were  for  the  massus  for  to  feed  you  living in  dying.  Buy  bran  biscuits  and  you'll  never  say  dog.  And  be in  the  finest  of  companies.  Morialtay  and  Kniferope  Walker  and Rowley  the  Barrel.  With  Longbow  of  the  lie.  Slick  of  the  trick and  Blennercassel  of  the  brogue.  Clanruckard  for  ever!  The Fenn,  the  Fenn,  the  k inn  of  all  Fenns!  Deaf  to  the  winds  when for  Croonacreena.  Fisht!  And  it's  not  now  saying  how  we  are where  who's  softing  what  rushes.  Merryvirgin  forbed!  But  of they  never  eat  soullfriede  they're  ating  it  now.  With  easter
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p
greeding.  Angus!  Angus!  Angus!  The  keykeeper  of  the  keys  of the  jesj^n  doors  of  the  dreamadoory  in  the  house  of  the  house- hold^ of  ^tjecech^)saysaith.  Whitmore,  whatmore?  Give  it  over, give  it  up!  Mawgraw!  Head  of  a  helo,  chesth  of  champgnon, of  a  gull!  What  you'd  if  he'd.  The  groom  is  in  the  greenhouse, gattling  out  his.  Gun!  That  lad's  the  style  for.  Lannigan's  ball! Now  a  drive  on  the  naval!  The  Shallburn  Shock.  Never  mind k/^eyour  gibbous.  Slip  on  your  ropen  collar  and  draw  the  noosebag on  your  head.  Nobody  will  know  or  heed  you,  Postumus,  if  you skip  round  schlymartin  by  the  back  and  come  front  sloomutren to  beg  in  one  of  the  shavers'  sailorsuits.  Three  climbs  three- quickenthrees  in  the  garb  of  nine.  We'll  split  to  see  you  mouldem imparvious.  A  wing  for  oldboy  Welsey  Wandrer!  Well  spat, witty  wagtail!  Now  piawn  to  bishop's  forthe!  Moove.  There's Mumblesome  Wadding  Murch  cranking  up  to  the  hornemooni- um.  Drawg  us  out  Ivy  Eve  in  the  Hall  of  Alum !  The  finnecies  of j)oetry  wed  music.  Feeling  the  jitters?  You'll  be  as  tight  as  Trivett when  the  knot's  knutted  on.  Now's  your  never !  JPgena  and,  p ^^ueena  are  duetting  a  giggle-for-giggle  and  the  brideen  Alan- nah  is  lost  in  her  diamindwaiting.  What  a  magnificent  gesture  j you  will  show  us  this  gallus  day.  Clean  and  easy,  be  the  hooker  !^  PGl.  ® And  a  free  for  croaks  after.  Dovlen  are  out  for  it.  So  is  Rathfinn. And,  hike,  here's  the  hearse  and  four  horses  with  the  interpro- vincial  crucifixioners  throwing  lots  inside  to  know  whose  to  be their  gosson  and  whereas  to  brake  the  news  to  morhor.  How our  myterbilder  his  fullen  aslip.  And  who  will  wager  but  he'll Shonny  Bhoy  be,  the  fleshlumpfleeter  from  Poshtapengha  and  all he  bares  sobsconcious  inklings  shadowed  on  soulskin.  Its  segnet  "  J yores,  the  strake  of  a  hin.  Nup.  Laying  the  cloth,  to  fore  of  them. And  thanking  the  fish,  in  core  of  them.  To  pass  the  grace  for Gard  sake!  Ahmohn.  Mr  Justician  Matthews  and  Mr  Justician Marks  and  Mr  Justician  Luk  de  Luc  and  Mr  Justinian  Johnston- Johnson.  And  the  aaskart,  see,  behind !  Help,  help,  hurray !  All- sup,  allsop!  Four  ghools  to  nail!  Cut  it  down,  mates,  look  slippy! They've  got  a  dathe  with  a  swimminpull.  Dang!  Ding!  Dong! Dung!  Dinnin.  Isn't  it  great  he  is  swaying  above  us  for  his  good
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and  ours.  Fly  your  balloons,  dannies  and  dennises!  He's  door- knobs dead!  And  Annie  Delap  is  free!  Ones  more.  We  could ate  you,  par  Buccas,  and  imbabe  through  you,  reassuranced  in the  wild  lac  of  godiness.  One  fledge,  one  brood  till  hulm culms  evurdyburdy.  Huh  the  throman!  Huh  the  traidor.  Huh the  truh.  Arrorsure,  he's  the  mannork  of  Arrahland  over- sense  he  horrhorrd  his  name  in  thuthunder.  Rrrwwwkkkrrr ! And  seen  it  rudden  up  in  fusefiressence  on  the  flashmurket. P.R.C.R.L.L.  Royloy.  Of  the  rollorrish  rattillary.  The  lewd- ningbluebolteredallucktruckalltraumconductor!  The  unnamed nonirishblooder  that  becomes  a  Greenislender  overnight!  But we're  molting  superstituettes  out  of  his  fulse  thortin  guts.  Tried mark,  Easterlings.  Sign,  Soideric  O'Cunnuc,  Rix.  Ad  versed  ord, Magtmorken,  Kovenhow.  There's  a  great  conversion,  myn !  Cou- cous!  Find  his  causcaus!  From  Motometusolum  through  Bulley and  Cowlie  and  Diggerydiggerydock  down  to  bazeness's  usual.'^ He's  alight  there  still,  by  Mike!  Loose  afore!  Bung!  Bring  forth your  deed!  Bang!  Till  is  the  right  time.  Bang!  Partick  Thistle agen  S.  Megan's  versus  Brystal  Palace  agus  the  Walsall !  Putsch ! Tiemore  moretis  tisturb  badday!  The  playgue  will  be  soon  over, rats!  Let  sin!  Geh  tont!  All  we  wants  is  to  get  peace  for  posses- sion. We  dinned  unnerstunned  why  you  sassad  about  thurteen to  aloafen,  sor,  kindly  repeat!  Or  ledn  us  alones  of  your  lungorge, parsonifier  propounde  of  our  edelweissed  idol  worts!  Shaw  and Shea  are  lorning  obsen  so  burgle  up,  gandfarder,  and  gurgle  me gurk.  You  can't  impose  on  frayshouters  like  os.  Every  tub  here spucks  his  own  fat.  Hang  coersion  everyhow!  And  smotther- mock  Gramm's  laws!  But  we're  a,drippindhrue^ayleague  all  at "ones'.  In  the  buginning  is  the  T^oid,  in  the  muddle  is  the  sound- dance  and  thereinofter  you're  in  the  unbewised  again,  vund vulsyvolsy.  You  talker  dunsker's  brogue  men  we  our  souls speech  obstruct  hostery.  Silence  in  thouglit!  Spreach !  Wear anartful  of  outer,  noceiise !  Pawpaw,  wowow!  Momerry  twelfths, noebroed!  That  was  a  good  one,  ha!  So  it  will  be  quite  a  material what  May  farther  be  unvuloped  for  you,  old  Mighty^  when  it's aped  to  foul  a  delfian  in  die  Malinung.  Ha  ha!  Talk  of  Paddy-
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barke's  echo!  Kick  nuck,  Knockcastle!  Muck!  And  you'll  nose  it, O  you'll  nose  it,  without  warnward  from  we.  We  don't  know  the sendor  to  whome.  But  you'll  find  Chiggenchugger's  taking  the Treaclyshortcake  with  Bugle  and  the  Bitch  pairsadrawsing  and Horssmayres  Prosession  tyghting  up  under  the  threes.  SXQJ^ Press  stop.  To  press  stop.  AIL  to  press  stop.  And  be  the  seem talkin  wharabahts  hosetanzies,  dat  sure  is  siillibrated  word !  Bing bong !  Saxolooter,  for  congesters  are  salders'  prey.  Snap  it  up  in the  loose,  patchy  the  blank!  Anyone  can  see  you're  the  son  of  a gmmdl.  Fellow  him  up  too,  Carlow!  Woes  to  the  worm- quashed,  aye,  and  wor  to  the  winner!  Think  of  Aerian's  Wall  and the  Fall  of  Toss.  Give  him  another  for  to  volleyholleydoodlem ! His  lights  not  all  out  yet,  the  liverpooser!  Boohoohoo  it  oose! With  seven  hores^ always  in  the  home  of  his  thinkingthings,  his nodsloddledome  of  his  noiselisslesoughts.  Two  Jdas,  two  Eyas^ two  Nessies  and  Rubyjuby.  Phook!  No  wonder,  pipes  as  kirles, that  he  sthings  like  a  rheinbok.  One  bed  night  he  had  the  dely- siums  that  they  were  an^queens  mobbing  him.  Fell  stiff.  Oh, ho,  ho,  ho,  ah,  he,  he!  Abedicate  yoursglf.  It  just  gegs  our  goad. He'll  be  the  deaf  of  us,  pappappoppopcuddle,  samblind  daiy- £udder.  Yus,  sord,  fathe,  you  woll,  putty  our  wraughther! What  we  waits  be  after  Whyfore  we  come  agooding.'^  None  of you,  cock  icy!  You  keep  that ^enayearn  and  her  fortycantle  glim iookbehinder.  We  might  do  with  rubiny  leeses.  But  of  all  your wanings  send  us^.Qut  your  peppydecked  ales  and  you'll  not  be such  a  bad  lot.  The  rye  is  well  for  whose  amind  but  the  wheateny one  is  proper  lovely.  B  E  N  K!  We  sincerestly  trust  that  Missus with  the  kiddies  of  sweet  Gorteen  has  not  B  I  N  K  to  their  very least  tittles  deranged  if  in  B  U  N  K  and  we  greesiously  augur  for your  Meggers  a  BEN  K  B  A  N  K  B  O  N  K  to  sloop^in  with all  sorts  of  adceterus  and  adsaturas.  It's  our  last  fight,  Megantic, fear  you  will!  The  refergee's  took  to  hailing  to  time  the  pass. There  goes  the  blackwatchwomen,  all  in  white,  flaxed  up,  pur- gad!  Right  toe,  Armitage!  Tem  for  Tam  at  Timmotty  Hall! We're  been  carried  away.  Beyond  bournes  and  bowers.  So  we'll leave  it  to  Keyhoe,  Danelly  and  Pykemhyme,  the  three  muskrat-
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4-  y  A*/^
eers,  at  the  end  of  this  age  that  had  it  from  Variants'  Katey Sherratt  that  had  it  from  Variants'  Katey  Sherratt's  man  for  the bonnefacies  of  Blashwhite  and  Blushred  of  the  Aquasancta,  Liffey Patrol  to  wind  up  and  to  tells  of  all  befells  after  that  to  Mocked Majesty  in  the  Malincurred  Mansion.
So  you  were  saying,  boys?  Anyhow  he  what?
So  anyhow,  melumps  and  mumpos  of  the  hoose  uncommons, after  that  to  wind  up  that  longtobechronickled  gettogether thanksbetogiving  day  at  Glenfinnisk-en-la-Valle,  the  anniver- sary of  his_finst  Jiomy  commulion,  after  that  same  barbecue  bean- feast was  all  over  poor  old  hospitable  corn  and^eggfactor,  King Roderick  O'Conor,  the  paramount  chief  polemarch  and  last  pre- electric  king  of  Ireland^  who  was  anything  you  say  yourself  be- tween fiftyodd  and  fiftyeven  years  of  age  at  the  time  after  the socalled  last  supper  he  greatly  gave  in  his  umbrageous  house  of the  hundred  bottles  with  the  radio  beamer  tower  andjts  hangars, ^himbneys  and_ecjuilines  or,  at  least,  he  was'nt  actually  the  then last  king  of  all  Ireland  for  the  time  being  for  the  jolly  good reason  that  he  was  still  such  as  he  was  the  eminent  king  of  all Ireland  himself  after  the  last  preeminent  king  of  all  Ireland,  the whilom  joky  old  top  that  went  before  him  in  the  Taharan  dy- nasty. King  Arth  Mockmorrow  Koughenough  of  the  leathered leggions,  now  of  parts  unknown,  (God  guard  his  generous comicsongbook  soul!)  that  put  a  poached  fowl  in  the  poor  man's pot  before  he  took  to  his  pallyass  with  the  weeping  eczema  for ftJ^i  ■  better  and  worse  until  he  went  under  the  grass  quilt  on  us,  never- theless, the  year  the  sugar  was  scarce,  and  we  to  lather  and  shave and  frizzle  him,  like  a  bald  surging  buoy  and  himself  down to  three  cows  that  was  meat  and  drink  and  dogs  and  washing to  him,  'tis  good  cause  we  have  to  remember  it,  going  through summersultryngs  of  snow  and  sleet  witht  the  widow  Nolan's goats  and  the  Brownes  girls  neats  anyhow,  wait  till  I  tell  you, what  did  he  do,  poor  old  Roderick  O'Conor  Rex,  the  aus- '  picious  waterproof  monarch  of  all  Ireland^  when  he  found  him-
self all  alone  by  himself  in  his  grand  old  handwedown  pile  after all  of  them  had  all  gone  off  with  themselves  to  their  castles  of
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mud,  as  best  they  cud,  on  footback,  owing  to  the  leak  of  the McCarthy's  mare,  in  extended  order,  a  tree's  length  from  the longest  way  out,  down  the  switchbackward  slidder  of  the  land- sown  route  of  Hauburnea's  liveliest  vinnage  on  the  brain,  the  ^ unimportant  Parthalonians  with  the  mouldy  Firbolgs  and  the Tuatha  de  Danaan  googs  and  the  ramblers  from  Clane  and  all the  rest  of  the  notmuchers  that  he  did  not  care  the  royal  spit  out  \m of  his^stensible  mouth  about,  well,  what  do  you  think  he  did, sir,  but,  faix^  he  just  went  heeltapping  through  the  winespilth and  weevily  popcorks  that  were  kneedeep  round  his  own  right  ^^^jL«^ royal  round  rollicking  toper's  table,  with  his  old  Roderick  Ran-  f dom  pullon  hat  at  a  Lanty  Leary  cant  on  him  and  Mike  Brady's shirt  and  Greene's  linnet  collarbow  and  his  Ghenter's  gaunts  and his  Macclefield's  swash  and  his  readymade  Reillys  and  his  pan- prestuberian  poncho,  the  body  you'd  pity  him,  the  way  the  world is,  poor  he,  the  heart  of  Midleinster  and  the  supereminent  lord  of  ^ them  all,  overwhelmed  as  he  was  with  black  ruin  like  a  sponge out  of  water,  allocutioning  in  bellcantos  to  his  own  oliverian society  MacGuiney's  Dreans  of  Ergen  Adams  and  thruming through  all  to  himself  with  diversed  tonguesed  through  his  old tears  and  his  ould  plaised  drawl,  starkened  by  the  most  regal  of belches,  like  a  blurney  Cashelmagh  crooner  that  lerking  Clare air,  the  blackberd's  ballad  Pve  a  terrible  errible  lot  todue  todie todue  tootorribleday^  well,  what  did  he  go  and  do  at  all.  His  Most  j Exuberant  Majesty  King  Roderick  O'Conor  but,  arrah  bedamnbut, he  finalised  by  lowering  his  woolly  throat  with  the  wonderful mo  i/^cmidnight  thirst  was  on  him,  as  keen  as  mustard,  he  could  not  tell what  he  did  ale,  that  bothered  he  was  from  head  to  tail,  and, wishawishawish,  leave  it,  what  the  Irish,  boys,  can  do,  if  he  did'nt go,  sliggymaglooral  reemyround  and  suck  up,  sure  enough,  like a  Trojan,  in  some  particular  cases  with  the  assistance  of  his  vene- rated tongue,  whatever  surplus  rotgut,  sorra  much,  was  left  by  the lazy  lousers  of  maltknights  and  beerchurls  in  the  different  bot- toms of  the  various  different  replenquished  drinking  utensils  left there  behind  them  on  the  premisses  by  that  whole  hogsheaded firkin  family,  the  departed  honourable  homegoers  and  other  sly-
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grogging  suburbanites,  such  as  it  was,  fall  and  fall  about,  to  the brindishing  of  his  charmed  life,  as  toastified  by  his  cheeriubi- cundenances,no  matter  whether  it  was  chateaubottled  Guiness's or  Phoenix  brewery  stout  it  was  or  John  Jameson  and  Sons  or Roob  Coccola  or,  for  the  matter  of  that,  O'Connell's  famous  old Dublin  ale  that  he  wanted  like  hell,  more  that  halibut  oil  or jesuits  tea,  as  a  fall  back,  of  several  different  quantities  and  quali- ties amounting  in  all  to,  I  should  say,  considerably  more  than  the better  part  of  a  gill  or  naggin  of  imperial  dry  and  liquid  measure till,  welcome  be  from  us  here,  till  the  rising  of  the  mom,  till  that hen  of  Kaven's  shows  her  beaconegjg,  and  Chapwellswendows stain  our  horyhistoricold  and  Father  MacMichael  stamps  for aitch  o'clerk  mess  and  the  Litvian  Newestlatter  is  seen^  sold  and delivered  and  all's  set  for  restart  after  the  silence,  like  his  ancestors  I to  this  day  after  him  (that  the  blazings  of  their  ouldmouldy  gods may  attend  to  them  we  pray!),  overopposides  the  cowery  lad  in the  corner  and  forenenst  the  staregaze  of  the  cathering  candled, that  adornment  of  his  album  and  folkenfather  of  familyans,  he came  acrash  a  crupper  sort  of  a  sate  on  accomondation  and  the very  boxst  in  all  his  composs,  whereuponce,  behome  the  fore for  cove  and  trawlers,  heave  hone,  leave  lone,  Larry's  on  the focse  ^d  Faugh  MacHugh  O'Bawlar  at  the  wheel,  one  to  do  and one  to  dare,  par  by  par,  a  peerless  pair,  ever  here  and  over  there, /  with  his  fol  the  dee  oil  the  doo  on  the  flure  of  his  feats  and  the
/     feels  of  the  fumes  in  the  wakes  of  his  ears  our  wineman  from
V     Barley  home  he  just  slumped  to  throne.         '  t  ^
So  sailed  the  stout  ship  Nansy  Hans.  From  Liff  away.  For Nattenlaender.  As  who  has  come  returns.  Farvel,  farerne  1  Good- bark,  goodbye!
Now  follow  we  out  by  Starloe!
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—  Three  quarks  for  Muster  Mark!
Sure  he  hasnt  got  much  of  a  hark
And  sure  any  he  has  it's  all  beside  the  mark.
But  0,  Wreneagle  Almighty,  wouldn't  un  he  a  sky  of  a  lark
To  see  that  old  bu^ard  whooping  about  for  uns  shirt  in  the  dark
And  he  hunting  round  for  uns  speckled  trousers  around  by  Palmer-
stown  Park? Hohohoho^  moulty  Mark!
You  re  the  rummest  old  rooster  ever  flopped  out  of  a  Noah's  ark
And  you  think  you  re  cock  of  the  wark.
Fowls y  up!  Tr  'utys  the  spry  young  spark
That'll  tread  her  and  wed  her  and  bed  her  and  red  her
Without  ever  winking  the  tail  of  a  feather
And  that's  how  that  chap's  going  to  make  his  money  and  mark!
Overhoved,  shrillgleescreaming.  That  song  sang  seaswans. The  winging  ones.  Seahawk,  seagull,  curlew  and  plover,  kestrel and  capercailzie.  All  the  birds  of  the  sea  they  trolled  out  rightbold when  they  smacked  the  big  kuss  of  Trustan  with  Usolde.
And  there  they  were  too,  when  it  was  dark,  whilest  the  wild- caps  was  circling,  as  slow  their  ship,  the  winds  aslight,  upborne the  fates,  the  wardorse  moved,  by  courtesy  of  Mr  Deaubaleau Downbellow  Kaempersally,  listening  in,  as  hard  as  they  could,  in Dubbeldorp,  the  donker,  by  the  tourneyold  of  the  wattarfalls, with  their  vuoxens  and  they  kemin  in  so  hattajocky  (only  a
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quartebuck  askull  for  the  last  acts)  to  the  solans  and  the  sycamores and  the  wild  geese  and  the  gannets  and  the  migratories  and  the mistlethrushes  and  the  auspices  and  all  the  birds  of  the  rockby- suckerassousyoceanal  sea,  all  four  of  them,  all  sighing  and  sob- bing, and  Hstening.  Moykle  ahoykling!
They  were  the  big  four,  the  four  maaster  waves  of  Erin,  all listening,  four.  There  was  old  Matt  Gregory  and  then  besides  old Matt  there  was  old  Marcus  Lyons,  the  four  waves,  and  oftentimes they  used  to  be  saying  grace  together,  right  enough,  bausnabeatha, in  Miracle  Squeer:  here  now  we  are  the  four  of  us:  old  Matt  Gre- gory and  old  Marcus  and  old  Luke  Tarpey:  the  four  of  us  and sure,  thank  God,  there  are  no  more  of  us:  and,  sure  now,  you wouldn't  go  and  forget  and  leave  out  the  other  fellow  and  old Johnny  MacDougall:  the  four  of  us  and  no  more  of  us  and  so now  pass  the  fish  for  Christ  sake.  Amen:  the  way  they  used  to  be saying  their  grace  before  fish,  repeating  itself,  after  the  interims of  Augusburgh  for  auld  lang  syne.  And  so  there  they  were,  with their  palms  in  their  hands,  like  the  pulchrum's  proculs,  spraining their  ears,  luistening  and  listening  to  the  oceans  of  kissening,  with their  eyes  glistening,  all  the  four,  when  he  was  kiddling  and cuddling  and  bunnyhugging  scrumptious  his  colleen  bawn  and dinkum  belle,  an  oscar  sister,  on  the  fifteen  inch  loveseat,  behind the  chieftaness  stewardesses  cubin,  the  hero,  of  Gaelic  champion, the  onliest  one  of  her  choice,  her  bleaueyedeal  of  a  girl's  friend, neither  bigugly  nor  smallnice,  meaning  pretty  much  everything to  her  then,  with  his  sinister  dexterity,  light  and  rufthandling, vicemversem  her  ragbags  et  assaucyetiams,  fore  and  aft,  on  and offsides,  the  brueburnt  sexfutter,  handson  and  huntsem,  that  was palpably  wrong  and  bulbubly  improper,  and  cuddling  her  and kissing  her,  tootyfay  charmaunt,  in  her  ensemble  of  maidenna blue,  with  an  overdress  of  net,  tickled  with  goldies,  Isolamisola, and  whisping  and  lisping  her  about  Trisolanisans,  how  one  was whips  for  one  was  two  and  two  was  lips  for  one  was  three,  and dissimulating  themself,  with  his  poghue  like  Arrah-na-poghue, the  dear  dear  annual,  they  all  four  remembored  who  made  the world  and  how  they  used  to  be  at  that  time  in  the  vulgar  ear
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f
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cuddling  and  kiddling  her^  after  an  oyster  supper  in  CuUen's  barn, from  under  her  mistlethrush  and  kissing  and  listening,  in  the  good old  bygone  days  of  Dion  Boucicault,  the  elder,  in  Arrah-na- pogue,  in  the  otherworld  of  the  passing  of  the  key  of  Two- tongue  Common,  with  Nush,  the  carrier  of  the  word,  and  with Mesh,  the  cutter  of  the  reed,  in  one  of  the  farback,  pitchblack centuries  when  who  made  the  world,  when  they  knew  O'Clery, the  man  on  the  door,  when  they  were  all  four  collegians  on  the nod,  neer  the  Nodderlands  Nurskery,  whiteboys  and  oakboys, peep  of  tim  boys  and  piping  tom  boys,  raising  hell  while  the  sin was  shining,  with  their  slates  and  satchels,  playing  Florian's  fables and  communic  suctions  and  vellicar  frictions  with  mixum  mem- bers, in  the  Queen's  Ultonian  colleges,  along  with  another  fellow, a  prime  number,  Totius  Quotius,  and  paying  a  pot  of  tribluts to  Boris  O'Brien,  the  buttler  of  Clumpthump,  two  looves,  two turnovers  plus  (one)  crown,  to  see  the  mad  dane  ating  his vitals.  Wulf !  Wulf !  And  throwing  his  tongue  in  the  snakepit.  Ah ho!  The  ladies  have  mercias!  It  brought  the  dear  prehistoric scenes  all  back  again,  as  fresh  as  of  yore.  Matt  and  Marcus,  natu- ral born  lovers  of  nature,  in  all  her  moves  and  senses,  and  after that  now  there  he  was,  that  mouth  of  mandibles,  vowed  to  pure beauty,  and  his  Arrah-na-poghue,  when  she  murmurously,  after she  let  a  cough,  gave  her  firm  order,  if  he  wouldn't  please  mind, for  a  sings  to  one  hope  a  dozen  of  the  best  favourite  lyrical national  blooms  in  Luvillicit,  though  not  too  much,  reflecting  on the  situation,  drinking  in  draughts  of  purest  air  serene  and  re- velling in  the  great  outdoors,  before  the  four  of  them,  in  the  fair fine  night,  whilst  the  stars  shine  bright,  by  she  light  of  he  moon, we  longed  to  be  spoon,  before  her  honeyoldloom,  the  plaint  effect being  in  point  of  fact  there  being  in  the  whole,  a  seatuition  so shocking  and  scandalous  and  now,  thank  God,  there  were  no  more of  them  and  he  poghuing  and  poghuing  like  the  Moreigner bowed  his  crusted  hoed  and  Tilly  the  Tailor's  Tugged  a  Tar  in  the Arctic  Newses  Dagsdogs  number  and  there  they  were,  like  a foremasters  in  the  rolls,  listening,  to  Rolando's  deepen  darblun Ossian  roll,  (Lady,  it  was  just  too  gorgeous,  that  expense  of  a
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lovely  tint,  embellished  by  the  charms  of  art  and  very  well  con- ducted and  nicely  mannered  and  all  the  horrid  rudy  noisies  locked up  in  nasty  cubbyhole!)  as  tired  as  they  were,  the  three  jolly topers,  with  their  mouths  watering,  all  the  four,  the  old  connu- bial men  of  the  sea,  yambing  around  with  their  old  pantometer, in  duckasaloppics,  Luke  and  Johnny  MacDougall  and  all  wishen- ing  for  anything  at  all  of  the  bygone  times,  the  wald  times  and the  fald  times  and  the  hempty  times  and  the  dempty  times,  for  a cup  of  kindness  yet,  for  four  farback  tumblerfuls  of  woman squash,  with  them,  all  four,  listening  and  spraining  their  ears  for the  millennium  and  all  their  mouths  making  water.
Johnny.  Ah  well,  sure,  that's  the  way  (up)  and  it  so  happened there  was  poor  Matt  Gregory  (up),  their  pater  familias,  and  (up) the  others  and  now  really  and  (up)  truly  they  were  four  dear old  heladies  and  really  they  looked  awfully  pretty  and  so  nice  and bespectable  and  after  that  they  had  their  fathomglasses  to  find out  all  the  fathoms  and  their  half  a  tall  hat,  just  now  like  the  old Merquus  of  Pawerschoof,  the  old  determined  despot,  {quiescents in  bragef)  only  for  the  extrusion  of  the  saltwater  or  the  auctioneer there  dormont,  in  front  of  the  place  near  O'Clery's,  at  the  darku- mound  numbur  wan,  beside  that  ancient  Dame  street,  where  the statue  of  Mrs  Dana  O'Connell,  prostituent  behind  the  Trinity College,  that  arranges  all  the  auctions  of  the  valuable  colleges, Bootersbay  Sisters,  like  the  auctioneer  Battersby  Sisters,  the  pru- misceous  creaters,  that  sells  all  the  emancipated  statues  and flowersports,  James  H.  Tickell,  the  jaypee,  off  Hoggin  Green, after  he  made  the  centuries,  going  to  the  tailturn  horseshow,  be- fore the  angler  nomads  flood,  along  with  another  fellow,  active impalsive,  and  the  shoeblacks  and  the  redshanks  and  plebeians and  the  barrancos  and  the  cappunchers  childerun,  Jules,  every- one, Gotopoxy,  with  the  houghers  on  them,  highstepping  the fissure  and  fracture  lines,  seven  five  threes  up,  three  five sevens  down,  to  get  out  of  his  way,  onasmuck  as  their  witliers conditions  could  not  possibly  have  been  improved  upon, (praisers  be  to  deeseesee !)  like  hopolopocattls,  crumping  oround their  Judgity  Yaman,  and  all  the  tercentenary  horses  and  priest-
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hunters,  from  the  Curragh,  and  confusionaries  and  the  authori- ties, Noord  Amrikaans  and  Suid  Aferican  cattleraiders  (so  they say)  all  over  like  a  tiara  dullfuoco,  in  his  grey  half  a  tall  hat  and his  amber  necklace  and  his  crimson  harness  and  his  leathern  jib and  his  cheapshein  hairshirt  and  his  scotobrit  sash  and  his  para- pilagian  gallowglasses  (how  do  you  do,  jaypee,  Elevato !)  to  find out  all  the  improper  colleges  (and  how  do  you  do,  Mr  Dame James?  Get  out  of  my  way!),  forkbearded  and  bluetoothed  and bellied  and  boneless,  from  Strathlyffe  and  Aylesburg  and  North- umberland Anglesey,  the  whole  yaghoodurt  sVeepstakings  and all  the  horsepowers.  But  now,  talking  of  hayastdanars  and wolkingology  and  how  our  seaborn  isle  came  into  exestuance, (the  explutor,  his  three  andesiters  and  the  two  pantellarias)  that reminds  me  about  the  manausteriums  of  the  poor  Marcus  of  Lyons and  poor  Johnny,  the  patrician,  and  what  do  you  think  of  the  four of  us  and  there  they  were  now,  Hstening  right  enough,  the  four saltwater  widowers,  and  all  they  could  remembore,  long  long  ago in  the  olden  times  Momonian,  throw  darker  hour  sorrows,  the princest  day,  when  Fair  Margrate  waited  Swede  Villem,  and  Lally in  the  rain,  with  the  blank  prints,  now  extincts,  after  the  wreak of  Wormans'  Noe,  the  barmaisigheds,  when  my  heart  knew  no care,  and  after  that  then  there  was  the  official  landing  of  Lady Jales  Casemate,  in  the  year  of  the  flood  1132  S.O.S.,  and  the christening  of  Queen  Baltersby,  the  Fourth  Buzzersbee,  accord- ing to  Her  Grace  the  bishop  Senior,  off  the  whate  shape,  and then  there  was  the  drowning  of  Pharoah  and  all  his  pedestrians and  they  were  all  completely  drowned  into  the  sea,  the  red  sea, and  then  poor  Merkin  Cornyngwham,  the  official  out  of  the castle  on  pension,  when  he  was  completely  drowned  off  Erin Isles,  at  that  time,  suir  knows,  in  the  red  sea  and  a  lovely mourning  paper  and  thank  God,  as  Saman  said,  there  were  no more  of  him.  And  that  now  was  how  it  was.  The  arzurian  deeps o'er  his  humbodumbones  sweeps.  And  his  widdy  the  giddy  is wreathing  her  murmoirs  as  her  gracest  triput  to  the  Grocery Trader's  Manthly.  Mind  mand  gunfree  by  Gladeys  Rayburn! Runtable's  Reincorporated.  The  new  world  presses.  Where  the
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old  conk  cruised  now  croons  the  yunk.  Exeunc  throw  a  darras Kram  of  Llawnroc,  ye  gink  guy,  kirked  into  yord.  Enterest  at- tawonder  Wehpen,  luftcat  revol,  fairescapading  in  his  natsirt. Tuesy  tumbles.  And  mild  aunt  Liza  is  as  loose  as  her  neese.  Ful- fest  withim  inbrace  behent.  As  gent  would  deem  oncontinent. So  mulct  per  wenche  is  Elsker  woed.  Ne  hath  his  thrysting.  Fin. Like  the  newcasters  in  their  old  plyable  of  A  Royenne  Devours. Jazzaphoney  and  Mirillovis  and  Nippy  she  nets  best.  Fing.  Ay, ay!  Sobbos.  And  so  he  was.  Sabbus.
Marcus.  And  after  that,  not  forgetting,  there  was  the  Flemish armada,  all  scattered,  and  all  officially  drowned,  there  and  then,  on a  lovely  morning,  after  the  universal  flood,  at  about  aleven  thirty- two  was  it.^  off  the  coast  of  Cominghome  and  Saint  Patrick,  the anabaptist,  and  Saint  Kevin,  the  lacustrian,  with  toomuch  of  tolls and  lottance  of  beggars,  after  converting  Porterscout  and  Dona, our  first  marents,  and  Lapoleon,  the  equestrian,  on  his  whuite bourse  of  Hunover,  rising  Clunkthurf  over  Cabinhogan  and  all they  remembored  and  then  there  was  the  Frankish  floot  of  Noahs- dobahs,  from  Hedalgoland,  round  about  the  freebutter  year  of Notre  Dame  1132  P.P.O.  or  so,  disumbunking  from  under Motham  General  Bonaboche,  (noo  poopery!)  in  his  half  a  grey traditional  hat,  alevoila  come  alevilla,  and  after  that  there  he  was, so  terrestrial,  like  a  Nailscissor,  poghuing  her  scandalous  and  very wrong,  the  maid,  in  single  combat,  under  the  sycamores,  amid the  bludderings  from  the  boom  and  all  the  gallowsbirds  in  Arrah- na-Poghue,  so  silvestrious,  neer  the  Queen's  Colleges,  in  1132 Brian  or  Bride  street,  behind  the  century  man  on  the  door.  And then  again  they  used  to  give  the  grandest  gloriaspanquost  univer- sal howldmoutherhibbert  lectures  on  anarxaquy  out  of  doxarch- ology  (hello,  Hibernia!)  from  sea  to  sea  (Matt  speaking!)  accord- ing to  the  pictures  postcard,  with  sexon  grimmacticals,  in  the Latimer  Roman  history,  of  Latimer  repeating  himself,  from  the vicerine  of  Lord  Hugh,  the  Lacytynant,  till  Bockleyshuts  the  rah- jahn  gerachknell  and  regnumrockery  roundup,  (Marcus  Lyons speaking!)  to  the  oceanfuls  of  collegians  green  and  high  classes and  the  poor  scholars  and  all  the  old  trinitarian  senate  and  saints  and
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sages  and  the  Plymouth  brethren,  droning  along,  peanzanzangan, and  nodding  and  sleeping  away  there,  like  forgetmenots,  in  her abijance  service,  round  their  twelve  tables,  per  pioja  at  pulga bollas,  in  the  four  trinity  colleges,  for  earnasyoulearning  Erin- growback,  of  Ulcer,  Moonster,  Leanstare  and  Cannought,  the four  grandest  colleges  supper  the  matther  of  Erryn,  of  Killorcure and  Killthemall  and  Killeachother  and  Killkelly-on-the-Flure, where  their  role  was  to  rule  the  round  roll  that  Rollo  and  Rullo rolled  round.  Those  were  the  grandest  gynecollege  histories (Lucas  calling,  hold  the  line!)  in  the  Janesdanes  Lady  Anders- daughter  Universary,  for  auld  acquaintance  sake  (this  unitarian lady,  breathtaking  beauty,  Bambam's  bonniest,  lived  to  a  great age  at  or  in  or  about  the  late  No.  1 132  or  No.  1 169,  bis,  Fitzmary Round  where  she  was  seen  by  many  and  widely  liked)  for  teach- ing the  Fatima  Woman  history  of  FatimiHafamilias,  repeating  her- self, on  which  purposeth  of  the  spirit  of  nature  as  difinely  deve- loped in  time  by  psadatepholomy,  the  past  and  present  (Johnny MacDougall  speaking,  give  me  trunks,  miss!)  and  present  and absent  and  past  and  present  and  perfect  arma  virumque  romano,  ^^^Lj^ Ah,  dearo,  dear!  O  weep  for  the  hower  when  eve  aleaves  bower! How  it  did  but  all  come  eddaying  back  to  them,  if  they  did  but get  gaze,  gagagniagnian,  to  hear  him  there,  kiddling  and  cuddling her,  after  the  gouty  old  galahat,  with  his  peer  of  quinnyfears  and his  troad  of  thirstuns,  so  nefarious,  from  his  elevation  of  one yard  one  handard  and  thartytwo  lines,  before  the  four  of  us,  in his  Roman  Catholic  arms,  while  his  deepseepeepers  gazed  and sazed  and  dazecrazemazed  into  her  dullokbloon  rodolling  olo- sheen  eyenbowls  by  the  Cornelius  Nepos,  Mnepos.  Anumque, umque.  Napoo. Queh.^  Quos?
Ah,  dearo  dearo  dear!  Bozun  braceth  brythe  hwen  gooses gandered  gamen.  Mahazar  ag  Dod!  It  was  so  scalding  sorry  for  all the  whole  twice  two  four  of  us,  with  their  familiar,  making  the  toten, and  Lally  when  he  lost  part  of  his  half  a  hat  and  all  belongings  to him,  in  his  old  futile  manner,  cape,  towel  and  drawbreeches,  and repeating  himself  and  telling  him  now,  for  the  seek  of  Senders
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Newslaters  and  the  mossacre  of  Saint  Brices,  to  forget  the  past, when  the  burglar  he  shoved  the  wretch  in  chumeroil,  and  con- tradicting all  about  Lally,  the  ballest  master  of  Gosterstown,  and his  old  fellow,  the  Lagener,  in  the  Locklane  Lighthouse,  earing  his wick  with  a  pierce  of  railing,  and  liggen  hig  with  his  ladder  up,  and that  oldtime  turner  and  his  sadderday  erely  cloudsing,  the  old croniony,  Skelly,  with  the  lether  belly,  full  of  neltts,  full  of  keltts, full  of  lightweight  beltts  and  all  the  bald  drakes  or  ever  he  had  up in  the  bohereen,offArtsichekes  Road,  with  Moels  and  Mahmullagh Mullarty,  the  man  in  the  Oran  mosque,  and  the  old  folks  at  home and  Duignan  and  Lapole  and  the  grand  confarreation,  as  per  the cabbangers  richestore,  of  the  filest  archives,  and  he  couldn't  stop laughing  over  Tom  Tim  Tarpey,  the  Welshman,  and  the  four middleaged  widowers,  all  nangles,  sangles,  angles  and  wangles. And  now,  that  reminds  me,  not  to  forget  the  four  of  the  Welsh waves,  leaping  laughing,  in  their  Lumbag  Walk,  over  old  Battle- shore  and  Deaddleconch,  in  their  half  a  Roman  hat,  with  an  an- cient Greek  gloss  on  it,  in  Chichester  College  auction  and,  thank God,  they  were  all  summarily  divorced,  four  years  before,  or  so they  say,  by  their  dear  poor  shehusbands,  in  dear  byword  days, and  never  brought  to  mind,  to  see  no  more  the  rainwater  on  the floor  but  still  they  parted,  raining  water  laughing,  per  Nupiter Privius,  only  terpary,  on  the  best  of  terms  and  be  forgot,  whilk  was plainly  foretolk  by  their  old  pilgrim  cocklesong  or  they  were  sing- ing through  the  wettest  indies  As  I  was  going  to  Burrymecarott  we fell  in  with  a  lout  hy  the  name  of  Peebles  as  also  in  another  place  by their  orthodox  proverb  so  there  was  said  thus  That  old  fellow knows  milk  though  he's  not  used  to  it  latterly.  And  so  they  parted. In  Dalkymont  nember  to.  Ay,  ay.  The  good  go  and  the  wicked is  left  over.  As  evil  flows  so  Ivel  flows.  Ay,  ay.  Ah,  well  sure, that's  the  way.  As  the  holymaid  of  Kunut  said  to  the  haryman of  Koombe.  For  his  humple  pesition  in  odvices.  Woman.  Squash. Part.  Ay,  ay.  By  decree  absolute.
Lucas.  And,  O  so  well  they  could  remembore  at  that  time,  when Carpery  of  the  Goold  Fins  was  in  the  kingship  of  Poolland,  Mrs Dowager  Justice  Squalchman,  foorsitter,  in  her  fullbottom  wig
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and  beard,  (Erminia  Reginial)  in  or  aring  or  around  about  die year  of  buy  in  disgrace  1132  or  1169  or  1768  Y.W.C.A.,  at  the Married  Male  Familyman's  Auctioneer's  court  in  Arrahnacuddle. Poor  Johnny  of  the  clan  of  the  Dougals,  the  poor  Scuitsman, (Hohannes !)  nothing  if  not  amorous,  dinna  forget,  so  frightened (Zweep!  Zweep!)  on  account  of  her  full  bottom,  (undullable attraxity!)  that  put  the  yearl  of  mercies  on  him,  and  the  four maasters,  in  chors,  with  a  hing  behangd  them,  because  he  was so  slow  to  borstel  her  schoon  for  her,  when  he  was  grooming  her ladyship,  instead  of  backscratching  her  materfamilias  proper,  Hke any  old  methodist,  and  all  divorced  and  innasense  interdict,  in the  middle  of  the  temple,  according  to  their  dear  faithful.  Ah,  now, it  was  too  bad,  too  bad  and  stout  entirely,  all  the  missoccurs;  and poor  Mark  or  Marcus  Bowandcoat,  from  the  brownesberrow  in nolandsland,  the  poor  old  chronometer,  all  persecuted  with  ally croaker  by  everybody,  by  decree  absolute,  through  Herrinsilde, because  he  forgot  himself,  making  wind  and  water,  and  made a  Neptune's  mess  of  all  of  himself,  sculling  over  the  giamond's courseway,  and  because  he  forgot  to  remember  to  sign  an  old morning  proxy  paper,  a  writing  in  request  to  hersute  herself,  on stamped  bronnanoleum,  from  Roneo  to  Giliette,  before  saying his  grace  before  fish  and  then  and  there  and  too  there  was poor  Dion  Cassius  Poosycomb,  all  drowned  too,  before  the world  and  her  husband,  because  it  was  most  improper  and  most wrong,  when  he  attempted  to  (well,  he  was  shocking  poor  in his  health,  he  said,  with  the  shingles  falling  off  him),  because he  (ah,  well  now,  peaces  pea  to  Wedmore  and  let  not  the  song  go dumb  upon  your  Ire,  as  we  say  in  the  Spasms  of  Davies,  and  we won't  be  too  hard  on  him  as  an  old  Manx  presbyterian)  and  after that,  as  red  as  a  Rosse  is,  he  made  his  last  will  and  went  to  con- fession, like  the  general  of  the  Berkeleyites,  at  the  rim  of  the  rom, on  his  two  bare  marrowbones,  to  Her  Worship  his  Mother  and Sister  Evangelist  Sweainey,  on  Cailcainnin  widnight  and  he  was so  sorry,  he  was  really,  because  he  left  the  bootybutton  in  the handsome  cab  and  now,  tell  the  truth,  unfriends  never,  (she  was his  first  messes  dogess  and  it  was  a  very  pretty  peltry  and  there
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were  faults  on  both  sides)  well,  he  attempted  (or  so  they  say) ah,  now,  forget  and  forgive  (don't  we  all?)  and,  sure,  he  was  only funning  with  his  andrewmartins  and  his  old  age  coming  over him,  well,  he  attempted  or,  the  Connachy,  he  was  tempted  to attempt  some  hunnish  familiarities,  after  eten  a  bad  carmp  in  the rude  ocean  and,  hevantonoze  sure,  he  was  dead  seasickabed  (it  was really  too  bad !)  her  poor  old  divorced  male,  in  the  housepays  for the  daying  at  the  Martyr  Mrs  MacCawley's,  where  at  the  time he  was  taying  and  toying,  to  hold  the  nursetendered  hand,  (ah, the  poor  old  coax!)  and  count  the  buttons  and  her  hand  and frown  on  a  bad  crab  and  doying  to  remembore  what  doed  they were  byorn  and  who  made  a  who  a  snore.  Ah  dearo  dearo dear!
And  where  do  you  leave  Matt  Emeritus?  The  laychief  of  Ab- botabishop?  And  exchullard  of  ffrench  and  gherman.  Achoch! They  were  all  so  sorgy  for  poorboir  Matt  in  his  saltwater  hat, with  the  Aran  crown,  or  she  grew  that  out  of,  too  big  for  him,  of or  Mnepos  and  his  overalls,  all  falling  over  her  in  folds — sure  he hadn't  the  heart  in  her  to  pull  them  up — poor  Matt,  the  old  peri- grime  matriarch,  and  a  queenly  man,  (the  porple  blussing  upon them!)  sitting  there,  the  sole  of  the  settlement,  below  ground, for  an  expiatory  rite,  in  postulation  of  his  cause,  (who  shall  say?) in  her  beaver  bonnet,  the  king  of  the  Caucuses,  a  family  all  to himself,  under  geasa,  Themistletocles,  on  his  multilingual  tomb- stone, like  Navellicky  Kamen,  and  she  due  to  kid  by  sweetpea time,  with  her  face  to  the  wall,  in  view  of  the  poorhouse,  and taking  his  rust  in  the  oxsight  of  Iren,  under  all  the  auspices,  amid the  rattle  of  hailstorms,  kalospintheochromatokreening,  with  her ivyclad  hood,  and  gripping  an  old  pair  of  curling  tongs,  belong- ing to  Mrs  Duna  O'Cannell,  to  blow  his  brains  with,  till  the heights  of  Newhigherland  heard  the  Bristolhut,  with  his  can  of tea  and  a  purse  of  alfred  cakes  from  Anne  Lynch  and  two  cuts  of Shackleton's  brown  loaf  and  dilisk,  waiting  for  the  end  to  come. Gordon  Heighland,  when  you  think  of  it!  The  merthe  dirther! Ah  ho!  It  was  too  bad  entirely!  All  devoured  by  active  parlour- men,  laudabiliter,  of  woman  squelch  and  all  on  account  of  the
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smell  of  Shakeletin  and  scratchman  and  his  mouth  watering,  acid and  alkolic;  signs  on  the  salt,  and  so  now  pass  the  loaf  for  Christ sake.  Amen.  And  so.  And  all.
Matt.  And  loaf.  So  that  was  the  end.  And  it  can't  be  helped. Ah,  God  be  good  to  us!  Poor  Andrew  Martin  Cunningham! Take  breath!  Ay!  Ay!
And  still  and  all  at  that  time  of  the  dynast  days  of  old  konning Soteric  Sulkinbored  and  Bargomuster  Bart,  when  they  struck  coil and  shock  haunts,  in  old  Hungerford-on-Mudway,  where  first  I met  thee  oldpoetryck  flied  from  may,  and  the  Finnan  baddies  and the  Noal  Sharks  and  the  muckstails  turtles  like  an  acoustic  pot- tish  and  the  griesouper  bullyum  and  how  he  poled  him  up  his boccat  of  vuotar  and  got  big  buzz  for  his  name  in  the  airweek's honours  from  home,  colonies  and  empire,  they  were  always  with assisting  grace,  thinking  (up)  and  not  forgetting  about  shims  and shawls  week,  in  auld  land  syne  (up)  their  four  hosenbands,  that were  four  (up)  beautiful  sister  misters,  now  happily  married,  unto old  Gallstonebelly,  and  there  they  were  always  counting  and  con- tradicting every  night  'tis  early  the  lovely  mother  of  periwinkle buttons,  according  to  the  lapper  part  of  their  anachronism  (up one  up  two  up  one  up  four)  and  after  that  there  now  she  was, in  the  end,  the  deary,  soldpowder  and  all,  the  beautfour  sisters, and  that  was  her  mudhen  republican  name,  right  enough,  from alum  and  oves,  and  they  used  to  be  getting  up  from  under,  in their  tape  and  straw  garlands,  with  all  the  worries  awake  in  their hair,  at  the  kookaburra  bell  ringring  all  wrong  inside  of  them (come  in,  come  on,  you  lazy  loafs !)  all  inside  their  poor  old  Shan- don  bellbox  (come  out  to  hell,  you  lousy  louts!)  so  frightened, for  the  dthclangavore,  like  knockneeghs  bumpsed  by  the  fister- man's  straights,  (ys!  ys!),  at  all  hours  every  night,  on  their  mistle- toes, the  four  old  oldsters,  to  see  was  the  Transton  Postscript come,  with  their  oerkussens  under  their  armsaxters,  all  puddled and  mythified,  the  way  the  wind  wheeled  the  schooler  round, when  nobody  wouldn't  even  let  them  rusten,  from  playing their  gastspiels,  crossing  their  sleep  by  the  shocking  silence, when  they  were  in  dreams  of  yore,  standing  behind  the
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door,  or  leaning  out  of  the  chair,  or  kneeling  under  the  sofa- cover  and  setting  on  the  souptureen,  getting  into  their  way something  barbarous,  changing  the  one  wet  underdown  convi- brational  bed  or  they  used  to  slumper  under,  when  hope  was  there no  more,  and  putting  on  their  half  a  hat  and  falling  over  all  synop- ticals  and  a  panegyric  and  repeating  themselves,  like  svvollovv- ing,  like  the  time  they  were  dadging  the  talkeycook  that  chased them,  look  look  all  round  the  stool,  walk  everywhere  for  a  jool, to  break  fyre  to  all  the  rancers,  to  collect  all  and  bits  of  brown, the  rathure's  evelopment  in  spirits  of  time  in  all  fathom  of  space and  slooping  around  in  a  bawneen  and  bath  slippers  and  go  away to  Oldpatrick  and  see  a  doctor  Walker.  And  after  that  so  glad they  had  their  night  tentacles  and  there  they  used  to  be,  flapping and  cycling,  and  a  dooing  a  doonloop,  panementically,  around the  waists  of  the  ships,  in  the  wake  of  their  good  old  Foehn again,  as  tyred  as  they  were,  at  their  windswidths  in  the waveslength,  the  clipperbuilt  and  the  five  fourmasters  and Lally  of  the  cleftoft  bagoderts  and  Roe  of  the  fair  cheats,  ex- changing fleas  from  host  to  host,  with  arthroposophia,  and  he selling  him  before  he  forgot,  issle  issle,  after  having  prealably dephlegmatised  his  gutterful  of  throatyfrogs,  with  a  lungible  fong in  his  suckmouth  ear,  while  the  dear  invoked  to  the  coolun  dare by  a  palpabrows  lift  left  no  doubt  in  his  minder,  till  he  was  in- stant and  he  was  trustin,  sister  soul  in  brother  hand,  the  subjects being  their  passion  grand,  that  one  fresh  from  the  cow  about Aithne  Meithne  married  a  mailde  and  that  one  too  from  Engr- vakon  saga  abooth  a  gooth  a  gev  a  gotheny  egg  and  the  park- side  pranks  of  quality  queens,  katte  efter  kinne,  for  Earl  Hooved- soon's  choosing  and  Huber  and  Harman  orhowwhen  theeupon- thus  (chchch!)  eysolt  of  binnoculises  memostinmust  egotum sabcunsciously  senses  upers  the  deprofundity  of  multimathema- tical  immaterialities  wherebejubers  in  the  pancosmic  urge  the alHmmanence  of  that  which  Itself  is  Itself  Alone  (hear,  O  hear. Caller  Errin !)  exteriorises  on  this  ourherenow  plane  in  disunited solod,  likeward  and  gushious  bodies  with  (science,  say!)  peril- whitened  passionpanting  pugnoplangent  intuitions  of  reunited
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selfdom  (murky  whey,  abstrew  adim!)  in  the  higherdimissional selfless  Allself,  theemeeng  Narsty  meedieeng  Idoless,  and  telling Jolly  MacGoUy,  dear  raester  John,  the  belated  dishevelled,  hack- ing away  at  a  parchment  pied,  and  all  the  other  analist,  the steamships  ant  the  ladies'foursome,  ovenfor,  nedenfor,  dinkety, duk,  downalupping,  (how  long  tandem !)  like  a  foreretyred  schoon- masters,  and  their  pair  of  green  eyes  and  peering  in,  so  they  say,  like the  narcolepts  on  the  lakes  of  Coma,  through  the  steamy  win- dows, into  the  honeymoon  cabins,  on  board  the  big  steamadories, made  by  Fumadory,  and  the  saloon  ladies'  madorn  toilet  chambers lined  over  prawn  silk  and  rub  off  the  salty  catara  off  a  windows and,  hee  hee,  listening,  qua  committe,  the  poor  old  quakers,  oben the  dure,  to  see  all  the  hunnishmooners  and  the  firstclass  ladies, serious  me,  a  lass  spring  as  you  fancy,  and  sheets  far  from  the  lad, courting  in  blankets,  enfamillias,  and,  shee  shee,  all  improper,  in  a lovely  mourning  toilet,  for  the  rosecrumpler,  the  thrilldriver,  the sighinspirer,  with  that  olive  throb  in  his  nude  neck,  and,  swayin and  thayin,  thanks  ever  so  much  for  the  tiny  quote,  which  sought of  maid  everythingling  again  so  very  much  more  delightafellay, and  the  perfidly  suite  of  her,  bootyfilly  yours,  under  all  their familiarities,  by  preventing  grace,  forgetting  to  say  their  grace  be- fore chambadory,  before  going  to  boat  with  the  verges  of  the chaptel  of  the  opering  of  the  month  of  Nema  Knatut,  so  pass  the poghue  for  grace  sake.  Amen.  And  all,  hee  hee  hee,  quaking,  so fright,  and,  shee  shee,  shaking.  Aching.  Ay,  ay.
For  it  was  then  a  pretty  thing  happened  of  pure  diversion mayhap,  when  his  flattering  hend,  at  the  justright  moment,  like perchance  some  cook  of  corage  might  clip  the  lad  on  a  poot  of porage  handshut  his  duckhouse,  the  vivid  girl,  deaf  with  love, (ah  sure,  you  know  her,  our  angel  being,  one  of  romance's  fade- less wonderwomen,  and,  sure  now,  we  all  know  you  dote  on her  even  unto  date!)  with  a  queeleetlecree  of  joy  sis  crisis  she renulited  their  disunited,  with  ripy  lepes  to  ropy  lopes  (the  dear o'dears!)  and  the  golden  importunity  of  aloofer's  leavetime, when,  as  quick,  is  greased  pigskin,  Amoricas  Champius,  with  one aragan  throust,  druve  the  massive  of  virilvigtoury  flshpst  the
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both  lines  of  forwards  (Eburnea's  down,  boys!)  rightjingbangshot into  the  goal  of  her  gullet. Alris!
And  now,  upright  and  add  them!  And  plays  be  honest!  And pulHt  into  yourself,  as  on  manowoman  do  another !  Candidately, everybody!  A  mot  for  amot.  Comong,  meng,  and  douh!  There was  this,  wellyoumaycallher,  a  strapping  modern  old  ancient Irish  prisscess,  so  and  so  hands  high,  such  and  such  paddock weight,  in  her  madapolam  smock,  nothing  under  her  hat  but red  hair  and  solid  ivory  (now  you  know  it's  true  in  your hardup  hearts!)  and  a  firstclass  pair  of  bedroom  eyes,  of  most unhomy  blue,  (how  weak  we  are,  one  and  all!)  the  charm of  favour's  fond  consent!  Could  you  blame  her,  we're  saying, for  one  psocoldlogical  moment?  What  would  Ewe  do?  With that  so  tiresome  old  milkless  a  ram,  with  his  tiresome  duty peck  and  his  bronchial  tubes,  the  tiresome  old  hairyg  orangogran beaver,  in  his  tiresome  old  twennysixandsixpenny  sheopards plods  drowsers  and  his  thirtybobandninepenny  tails  plus  toop! Hagakhroustioun!  It  were  too  exceeding  really  if  one  woulds to  offer  at  sulk  an  oldivirdual  a  pinge  of  hinge  hit.  The mainest  thing  ever!  Since  Edem  was  in  the  boags  noavy.  No,  no, the  dear  heaven  knows,  and  the  farther  the  from  it,  if  the  whole stole  stale  mis  betold,  whoever  the  gulpable,  and  whatever  the pulpous  was,  the  twooned  togethered,  and  giving  the  mhost phassionable  wheathers,  they  were  doing  a  lally  a  lolly  a  dither a  duther  one  lelly  two  dather  three  lilly  four  dother.  And  it  was a  fiveful  moment  for  the  poor  old  timetetters,  ticktacking,  in  tenk the  count.  Till  the  spark  that  plugged  spared  the  chokee  he gripped  and  (volatile  volupty,  how  brieved  are  thy  lunguings!) they  could  and  they  could  hear  like  of  a  lisp  lapsing,  that was  her  knight  of  the  truths  diong  plipping  out  of  her  chapell- ledeosy,  after  where  he  had  gone  and  polped  the  questioned. Plop.
Ah  now,  it  was  tootwoly  torrific,  the  mummurrlubejubes!  And then  after  that  they  used  to  be  so  forgetful,  counting  mother- peributts  (up  one  up  four)  to  membore  her  beaufu  mouldern
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maiden  name,  for  overflauwing,  by  the  dream  of  woman  the owneirist,  in  forty  lands.  From  Greg  and  Doug  on  poor  Greg and  Mat  and  Mar  and  Lu  and  Jo,  now  happily  buried,  our  four! And  there  she  was  right  enough,  that  lovely  sight  enough,  the girleen  bawn  asthore,  as  for  days  galore,  of  planxty  Gregory. Egory.  O  bunket  not  Orwin !  Ay,  ay.
But,  sure,  that  reminds  me  now,  like  another  tellmastory  re- peating yourself,  how  they  used  to  be  in  lethargy's  love,  at  the end  of  it  all,  at  that  time  (up)  always,  tired  and  all,  after  doing  the mousework  and  making  it  up,  over  their  community  singing (up)  the  top  loft  of  the  voicebox,  of  Mamalujo  like  the  senior follies  at  murther  magrees,  squatting  round,  two  by  two,  the  four confederates,  with  Caxons  the  Coswarn,  up  the  wet  air  register in  Old  Man's  House,  Millenium  Road,  crowning  themselves  in lauraly  branches,  with  their  cold  knees  and  their  poor  (up)  quad rupeds,  ovasleep,  and  all  dolled  up,  for  their  blankets  and  matemy mufflers  and  plimsoles  and  their  bowl  of  brown  shackle  and milky  and  boterham  clots,  a  potion  a  peace,  a  piece  aportion,  a lepel  alip,  alup  a  lap,  for  a  cup  of  kindest  yet,  with  hold  take  hand and  nurse  and  only  touch  of  ate,  a  lovely  munkybown  and  for xmell  and  wait  the  pinch  and  prompt  poor  Marcus  Lyons  to  be  not beheeding  the  skillet  on  for  the  live  of  ghosses  but  to  pass  the  teeth for  choke  sake,  Amensch,  when  it  so  happen  they  were  all  syca- more and  by  the  world  forgot,  since  the  phlegmish  hoopicough, for  all  a  possabled,  after  ete  a  bad  cramp  and  johnny  magories,  and backscrat  the  poor  bedsores  and  the  farthing  dip,  their  caschal pandle  of  magnegnousioum,  and  read  a  letter  or  two  every  night, before  going  to  dodo  sleep  atrance,  with  their  catkins  coifs,  in the  twilight,  a  capitaletter,  for  further  auspices,  on  their  old  one page  codex  book  of  old  year's  eve  1132,  M.M.L.J.  old  style,  their Senchus  Mor,  by  his  fellow  girl,  the  Mrs  Shemans,  in  her  summer seal  houseonsample,  with  the  caracul  broadtail,  her  totam  in tutu^  final  buff  noonmeal  edition,  in  the  regatta  covers,  uptenable from  the  orther,  for  to  regul  their  reves  by  incubation,  and  Lally, through  their  gangrene  spentacles,  and  all  the  good  or  they did  in  their  time,  the  rigorists,  for  Roe  and  O'Mulcnory  a
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Corny  ap  Mul  or  Lap  ap  Morion  and  Buffler  ap  Matty  Mac Gregory  for  Marcus  on  Podex  by  Daddy  de  Wyer,  old  baga- broth,  beeves  and  scullogues,  churls  and  vassals,  in  same,  sept and  severalty  and  one  by  one  and  sing  a  mamalujo.  To  the heroest  champion  of  Eren  and  his  braceoelanders  and  Gowan, Gawin  and  Gonne.
And  after  that  now  in  the  future,  please  God,  after  nonpenal start,  all  repeating  ourselves,  in  medios  loquos,  from  where  he  got a  useful  arm  busy  on  the  touchline,  due  south  of  her  western shoulder,  down  to  death  and  the  love  embrace,  with  an  interesting tallow  complexion  and  all  now  united,  sansfamillias,  let  us  ran  on to  say  oremus  prayer  and  homeysweet  homely,  after  fully  realis- ing the  gratifying  experiences  of  highly  continental  evenements, for  meter  and  peter  to  temple  an  eslaap,  for  auld  acquaintance,  to Peregrine  and  Michael  and  Farfassa  and  Peregrine,  for  navigants et  peregrinantibus,  in  all  the  old  imperial  and  Fionnachan  sea  and for  vogue  awallow  to  a  Miss  Yiss,  you  fascinator,  you,  sing  a lovasteamadorion  to  Ladyseyes,  here's  Tricks  and  Doelsy,  de- lightfully ours,  in  her  doaty  ducky  little  blue  and  roll  his  hoop and  how  she  ran,  when  wit  won  free,  the  dimply  blissed  and  aw- fully bucked,  right  glad  we  never  shall  forget,  thoh  the  dayses gone  still  they  loves  young  dreams  and  old  Luke  with  his kingly  leer,  so  wellworth  watching,  and  Senchus  Mor,  possessed of  evident  notoriety,  and  another  more  of  the  bigtimers,  to  name no  others,  of  whom  great  things  were  expected  in  the  fulmfilming department,  for  the  lives  of  Lazarus  and  auld  luke  syne  and  she haihaihail  her  kobbor  kohinor  sehehet  on  the  praze  savohole shanghai.
Hear,  O  hear,  Iseult  la  belle !  Tristan,  sad  hero,  hear !  The  Lambeg drum,  the  Lombog  reed,  the  Lumbag  fiferer,  the  Limibig  brazenaze.
Anno  Domini  nostri  sancti  Jesu  Christi
Nine  hundred  and  ninetynine  million  pound  sterling  in  the  hluehlack
bowels  of  the  hank  of  Ulster, Br  aw  bawbees  and  good  gold  pounds^  galore,  my  girleen,  a  Sunday  II
prank  thee  finely .
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And  no  damn  loutll  come  courting  thee  or  by  the  mother  of  the  Holy Ghost  there'' II  be  murder/
0,  come  all  ye  sweet  nymphs  of  Dingle  beach  to  cheer  Brinabride
queen  from  Sybil  surfriding In  her  curragh  of  shells  of  daughter  of pearl  and  her  silvery monnblue
mantle  round  her. Crown  of  the  waters^  brine  on  her  brow^  shell  dance  them  a  jig  and
jilt  them  fairly,
Yerray  why  would  she  bide  with  Sig  Sloomysides  or  the  grogram  grey barnacle  gander!^
You  wont  need  be  lonesome  ^  Liny      love^  when  your  beau  gets  his
glut  of  cold  meat  and  hot  soldiering Nor  wake  in  winter^  window  machree^  but  snore  sung  in  my  old
Balbriggan  surtout. Wisha^  wont  you  agree  now  to  take  me  from  the  middle,  say,  of
next  week  on^for  the  balance  of  my  days,  for  nothing  (whatF)
as  your  own  nurse  tender,^ A  power  of  highsteppers  died  game  right  enough — but  who,  acushla,
7/  beg  coppers  for  you?
I  tossed  that  one  long  before  anyone.
It  was  of  a  wet  good  Friday  too  she  was  ironing  and,  as  Pm  given now  to  understand,  she  was  always  mad  gone  on  me.
Grand  goo  segr  easing  we  had  entirely  with  an  allnight  eider  down, bed picnic  to  follow.
By  the  cross  of  Cong,  says  she,  rising  up  Saturday  in  the  twilight from  under  me,  Mick,  Nick  the  Maggot  or  whatever  your  name is  y  you  re  the  mose  likable  lad  that's  come  my  ways  yet  from  the barony  of  Bohermore.
Mattheehew,  Markeehew,  Lukeehew,  Johnheehewheehew ! Haw!
And  still  a  light  moves  long  the  river.  And  stiller  the  mermen
ply  their  keg. Its  pith  is  full.  The  way  is  free.  Their  lot  is  cast. So,  to  john  for  a  John,  johnajeams,  led  it  be!
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Hark!
Tolv  two  elf  kater  ten  (it  can't  be)  sax. Hork!
Pedwar  pemp  foify  tray  (it  must  be)  twelve.
And  low  stole  o'er  the  stillness  the  heartbeats  of  sleep.
White  fogbow  spans.  The  arch  embattled.  Mark  as  capsules. The  nose  of  the  man  who  was  nought  like  the  nasoes.  It  is  self- tinted,  wrinkling,  ruddled.  His  kep  is  a  gorsecone.  He  am  Gascon Titubante  of  Tegmine  -  sub  -  Fagi  whose  fixtures  are  mobil- ing  so  wobiling  befear  my  remembrandts.  She,  exhibit  next,  his Anastashie.  She  has  prayings  in  lowdelph.  Zeehere  green  egg- brooms.  What  named  blautoothdmand  is  yon  who  stares.'^  Gu- gurtha!  Gugurthal  He  has  becco  of  wild  hindigan.  Ho,  he  hath hornhide!  And  hvis  now  is  for  you.  Pensee!  The  most  beautiful of  woman  of  the  veilch  veilchen  veilde.  She  would  kidds  to  my voult  of  my  palace,  with  obscidian  luppas,  her  aal  in  her  dhove's suckling.  Apagemonite !  Come  not  nere !  Black !  Switch  out !
Methought  as  I  was  dropping  asleep  somepart  in  nonland  of where's  please  (and  it  was  when  you  and  they  were  we)  I  heard at  zero  hour  as  'twere  the  peal  of  vixen's  laughter  among  mid- night's chimes  from  out  the  belfry  of  the  cute  old  speckled  church tolling  so  faint  a  goodmantrue  as  nighthood's  unseen  violet rendered  all  animated  greatbritish  and  Irish  objects  nonviewable to  human  watchers  save  'twere  perchance  anon  some  glistery
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gleam  darkling  adown  surface  of  affluvial  flowandflow  as  again might  seem  garments  of  laundry  reposing  a  leasward  close  at hand  in  full  expectation.  And  as  I  was  jogging  along  in  a  dream  as dozing  I  was  dawdling,  arrah,  methought  broadtone  was  heard  and the  creepers  and  the  gliders  and  flivvers  of  the  earth  breath  and the  dancetongues  of  the  woodfires  and  the  hummers  in  their ground  all  vociferated  echoating:  Shaun!  Shaun!  Post  the  post! with  a  high  voice  and  O,  the  higher  on  high  the  deeper  and  low, I  heard  him  so!  And  lo,  mescemed  somewhat  came  of  the  noise and  somewho  might  amove  allmurk.  Now,  'twas  as  clump,  now mayhap.  When  look,  was  light  and  now'twas  as  flasher,  now moren  as  the  glaow.  Ah,  in  unlitness  'twas  in  very  similitude, bless  me,  'twas  his  belted  lamp!  Whom  we  dreamt  was  a  shaddo, sure,  he's  lightseyes,  the  laddo!  Blessed  momence,  O  romence, he's  growing  to  stay!  Ay,  he  who  so  swayed  a  will  of  a  wisp before  me,  hand  prop  to  hand,  prompt  side  to  the  pros,  dressed like  an  earl  in  just  the  correct  wear,  in  a  classy  mac  Frieze  o'coat of  far  suparior  ruggedness,  indigo  braw,  tracked  and  tramped, and  an  Irish  ferrier  collar,  freeswinging  with  mereswin  lacers  from his  shoulthern  and  thick  welted  brogues  on  him  hammered  to  suit the  scotsmost  public  and  climate,  iron  heels  and  sparable  soles,  and his  jacket  of  providence  wellprovided  woolies  with  a  softrolling lisp  of  a  lapel  to  it  and  great  sealingwax  buttons,  a  good  helping bigger  than  the  slots  for  them,  of  twentytwo  carrot  krasnapopp- sky  red  and  his  invulnerable  burlap  whiskcoat  and  his  popular choker,  Tamagnum  sette-and-forte  and  his  loud  boheem  toy  and the  damasker's  overshirt  he  sported  inside,  a  starspangled  zephyr with  a  decidedly  surpliced  crinklydoodle  front  with  his  motto through  dear  life  embrothred  over  it  in  peas,  rice,  and  yeggy- yolk.  Or  for  royal.  Am  for  Mail,  R.M.D.  hard  cash  on  the  nail and  the  most  successfully  carried  gigot  turnups  now  you  ever, (what  a  pairfact  crease!  how  amsolookly  kersse!)  breaking  over the  ankle  and  hugging  the  shoeheel,  everything  the  best  —  none other  from  (Ah,  then  may  the  turtle's  blessings  of  God  and  Mary and  Haggispatrick  and  Huggisbrigid  be  souptumbling  all  over him!)  other  than  (and  may  his  hundred  thousand  welcome  stewed
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letters,  relayed  wand  postchased,  multiply,  ay  faith,  and  plultiply !) Shaun  himself.
What  a  picture  primitive!
Had  I  the  concordant  wiseheads  of  Messrs  Gregory  and  Lyons alongside  of  Dr  Tarpey's  and  I  dorsay  the  reverend  Mr  Mac Dougall's,  but  I,  poor  ass,  am  but  as  their  fourpart  tinckler's  dun- key.  Yet  methought  Shaun  (holy  messonger  angels  be  uninter- ruptedly nudging  him  among  and  along  the  winding  ways  of random  ever!)  Shaun  in  proper  person  (now  may  all  the  blue- blacksliding  constellations  continue  to  shape  his  changeable  time- table !)  stood  before  me.  And  I  pledge  you  my  agricultural  word by  the  hundred  and  sixty  odds  rods  and  cones  of  this  even's vision  that  young  fellow  looked  the  stuff,  the  Bel  of  Beaus* Walk,  a  prime  card  if  ever  was!  Pep?  Now  without  deceit  it  is hardly  too  much  to  say  he  was  looking  grand,  so  fired  smart,  in much  more  than  his  usual  health.  No  mistaking  that  beamish brow !  There  was  one  for  you  that  ne'er  would  nunch  with  good Duke  Humphrey  but  would  aight  through  the  months  without  a sign  of  an  err  in  hem  and  then,  otherwise  rounding,  fourale  to  the lees  of  Traroe.  Those  jehovial  oyeglances!  The  heart  of  the  rool! And  hit  the  hencoop.  He  was  immense,  topping  swell  for  he  was after  having  a  great  time  of  it,  a  twentyfour  hours  every  moment matters  maltsight,  in  a  porterhouse,  scutfrank,  if  you  want  to know.  Saint  Lawzenge  of  Toole's,  the  Wheel  of  Fortune,  leave your  clubs  in  the  hall  and  wait  on  yourself,  no  chucks  for  wal- nut ketchups,  Lazenby's  and  Chutney  graspis  (the  house  the  once queen  of  Bristol  and  Balrothery  twice  admired  because  her frumped  door  looked  up  Dacent  Street)  where  in  the  sighed  of lovely  eyes  while  his  knives  of  hearts  made  havoc  he  had  re- cruited his  strength  by  meals  of  spadefuls  of  mounded  food,  in anticipation  of  the  faste  of  tablenapkins,  constituting  his  three- partite  pranzipal  meals  plus  a  collation,  his  breakfast  of  first,  a  bless us  O  blood  and  thirsthy  orange,  next,  the  half  of  a  pint  of  becon with  newled  googs  and  a  segment  of  riceplummy  padding,  met of  sunder  suigar  and  some  cold  forsoaken  steak  peatrefired  from the  batblack  night  o'erflown  then,  witliout  prejuice  to  evectuals,
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came  along  merendally  his  stockpot  dinner  of  a  half  a  pound  or round  steak,  very  rare,  Blong's  best  from  Portarlington's  Butchery, with  a  side  of  riceypeasy  and  Corkshire  alia  mellonge  and  bacon with  (a  little  mar  pliche!)  a  pair  of  chops  and  thrown  in  from  the silver  grid  by  the  proprietoress  of  the  roastery  who  lives  on  the hill  and  gaulusch  gravy  and  pumpernickel  to  wolp  up  and  a gorger's  bulby  onion  (Margareter,  Margaretar  Margarastican- deatar)  and  as  well  with  second  course  and  then  finally,  after his  avalunch  oclock  snack  at  Appelredt's  or  Kitzy  Braten's  of saddlebag  steak  and  a  Botherhim  with  her  old  phoenix  portar, jistr  to  gwen  his  gwistel  and  praties  sweet  and  Irish  too  and  mock gurgle  to  whistle  his  way  through  for  the  swallying,  swp  by  swp, and  he  getting  his  tongue  arount  it  and  Boland's  broth  broken into  the  bargain,  to  his  regret  his  soupay  avic  nightcap,  vitellusit, a  carusal  consistent  with  second  course  eyer  and  becon  (the  rich of)  with  broad  beans,  hig,  steak,  hag,  pepper  the  diamond  bone hotted  up  timmtomm  and  while'twas  after  that  he  scoffed  a  drake- ling  snuggily  stuffed  following  cold  loin  of  veal  more  cabbage  and in  their  green  free  state  a  clister  of  peas,  soppositorily  petty,  last. P.S.  but  a  fingerhot  of  rheingenever  to  give  the  Pax  cum  Spiri- tututu.  Drily  thankful.  Burud  and  dulse  and  typureely  jam,  all free  of  charge,  aman,  and.  And  the  best  of  wine  avec.  For  his heart  was  as  big  as  himself,  so  it  was,  ay,  and  bigger!  While  the loaves  are  aflowering  and  the  nachtingale  jugs.  All  St  Jilian^s  of Berry,  hurrah  there  for  tobies !  Mabhrodaphne,  brown  pride  of  our custard  house  quay,  amiable  with  repastful,  cheerus  graciously, cheer  us!  Ever  of  thee,  Anne  Lynch,  he's  deeply  draiming! Houseanna!  Tea  is  the  Highest!  For  auld  lang  Ayternitay!  Thus thicker  will  he  grow  now,  grew  new.  And  better  and  better  on butter  and  butter.  At  the  sign  of  Mesthress  Vanhungrig.  However! Mind  you,  nuckling  down  to  nourritures,  were  they  menuly  some ham  and  jaffas,  and  I  don't  mean  to  make  the  ingestion  tor  the moment  that  he  was  guilbey  of  gulpable  gluttony  as  regards  chew- able  boltaballs,  but,  biestings  be  biestings,  and  upon  the  whole, when  not  off  his  oats,  given  prelove  appetite  and  postlove  pricing good  coup,  goodcheap,  were  it  thermidor  oogst  or  fioreal  may
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while  the  whistling  prairial  roysters  play,  between  gormandising and  gourmeteering,  he  grubbed  his  tuck  all  right,  deah  smorregos, every  time  he  was  for  doing  dirt  to  a  meal  or  felt  like  a  bottle  of ardilaun  arongwith  a  smag  of  a  lecker  biss  of  a  welldressed  taart or.  Though  his  net  intrants  wight  weighed  nought  but  a  flyblow to  his  gross  and  ganz  afterduepoise.  And  he  was  so  jarvey  jaunty with  a  romp  of  a  schoolgirl's  completion  sitting  pretty  over  his Oyster  Monday  print  face  and  he  was  plainly  out  on  the  ramp  and mash^  as  you  might  say,  for  he  sproke. Overture  and  beginners!
When  lo  (whish,  O  whish !)  mesaw  mestreamed,  as  the  green to  the  gred  was  flew,  was  flown,  through  deafths  of  durkness greengrown  deeper  I  heard  a  voice,  the  voce  of  Shaun,  vote  of the  Irish,  voise  from  afar  (and  cert  no  purer  puer  palestrine  e'er chanted  panangelical  mid  the  clouds  of  Tu  es  Petrus,  not Michaeleen  Kelly,  not  Mara  O'Mario,  and  sure,  what  more numerose  Italicuss  ever  rawsucked  frish  uov  in  urinal?),  a  brieze to  Yverzone  o'er  the  brozaozaozing  sea,  from  Inchigeela  call the  way  how  it  suspired  (morepork!  moreporkl)  to  scented nightlife  as  softly  as  the  loftly  marconimasts  from  Clifden  sough open  tireless  secrets  (mauveport!  mauveport!)  to  Nova  Scotia's listing  sisterwands.  Tubetube!
His  handpalm  lifted,  his  handshell  cupped,  his  handsign  pointed, his  handheart  mated,  his  handaxe  risen,  his  handleaf  fallen. Helpsome  hand  that  holemost  heals !  What  is  het  holy !  It  gested.
And  it  said:
— Alo,  alass,  aladdin,  amobus!  Does  she  lag  soft  fall  means rest  down?  Shaun  yawned,  as  his  general  address  rehearsal, (that  was  antepropreviousday's  pigeons-in-a-pie  with  rough dough  for  the  carrier  and  the  hash-say-ugh  of  overgestern  pluzz the  'stuesday's  shampain  in  his  head,  with  the  memories  of  the past  and  the  hicnuncs  of  the  present  embelliching  the  musics  of the  futures  from  Miccheruni's  band)  addressing  himself  ex  alto and  complaining  with  vocal  discontent  it  was  so  close  as  of the  fact  the  rag  was  up  and  of  the  briefs  and  billpasses,  a  houseful of  deadheads,  of  him  to  dye  his  paddycoats  to  morn  his  hestern-
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most  earning,  his  board  in  the  swealth  of  his  fate  as,  having moistened  his  manducators  upon  the  quiet  and  scooping  molars and  grinders  clean  with  his  two  fore  fingers,  he  sank  his  hunk, dowanouet  to  resk  at  once,  exhaust  as  winded  hare,  utterly  spent, it  was  all  he  could  do  (disgusted  with  himself  that  the  combined weight  of  his  tons  of  iosals  was  a  hundred  men's  massed  too  much for  him),  upon  the  native  heath  he  loved  covered  kneehigh  with virgin  bush,  for  who  who  e'er  trod  sod  of  Erin  could  ever  sleep off  the  turf!  Well,  I'm  liberally  dished  seeing  myself  in  this  trim! How  all  too  unwordy  am  I,  a  mere  mailman  of  peace,  a  poor  loust hastehater  of  the  first  degree,  the  principot  of  Candia,  no  legs  and a  title,  for  such  eminence,  or  unpro  promenade  rather,  to  be  much more  exact,  as  to  be  the  bearer  extraordinary  of  these  postoomany missive  on  his  majesty's  service  while  me  and  yous  and  them  we're extending  us  after  the  pattern  of  reposiveness !  Weh  is  me,  yeh  is ye!  I,  the  mightif  beam  maircanny,  which  bit  his  mirth  too  early or  met  his  birth  too  late !  It  should  of  been  my  other  with  his leickname  for  he's  the  head  and  I'm  an  everdevoting  fiend  of  his. I  can  seeze  tomirror  in  tosdays  of  yer  when  we  lofobsed  os  so  ker. Those  sembal  simon  pumpkel  pieman  yers !  We  shared  the  twin chamber  and  we  winked  on  the  one  wench  and  what  Sim  sobs todie  I'll  reeve  tomorry,  for  'twill  be,  I  have  hopes  of,  Sam Dizzier's  feedst.  Tune  in,  tune  on,  old  Tighe,  high,  high,  high, I'm  thine  owelglass.  Be  old!  He  looks  rather  thin,  imitating  me. I'm  very  fond  of  that  other  of  mine.  Fish  hands  Macsorley! Elien !  Obsequies !  Bonzeye !  Isaac  Egari's  Ass !  We're  the  music- hall  pair  that  won  the  swimmyease  bladdhers  at  the  Guinness gala  in  Badeniveagh.  I  ought  not  to  laugh  with  him  on  this  stage. But  he'  such  a  game  loser!  I  lift  my  disk  to  him.  Brass  and  reeds, brace  and  ready!  How  is  your  napper.  Handy,  and  hownow  does she  stand.'^  First  he  was  living  to  feel  what  the  eldest  daughter  she  was panseying  and  last  he  was  dying  to  know  what  old  Madre  Patriack does  be  up  to.  Take  this  John's  Lane  in  your  toastingfourch.  Shaun- ti  and  shaunti  and  shaunti  again!  And  twelve  coolinder  moons! I  am  no  helotwashipper  but  I  revere  her!  For  my  own  coant!  She has  studied!  Piscisvendolor!  You're  grace!  Futs  dronk  ot
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I
I
Wouldndom !  But,  Gemini,  he's  looking  frightfully  thin !  I  heard the  man  Shee  shinging  in  the  pantry  bay.  Down  among  the  dust- bins let  him  lie!  Ear!  Ear!  Not  ay!  Eye!  Eye!  For  Fm  at  the  heart of  it.  Yet  I  cannot  on  my  solemn  merits  as  a  recitativer  recollect ever  having  done  of  anything  of  the  kind  to  deserve  of  such. Not  the  phost  of  a  nation !  Nor  by  a  long  trollop !  I  just  didn't  have the  time  to.  Saint  Anthony  Guide !
—  But  have  we  until  now  ever  besought  you,  dear  Shaun,  we remembered,  who  it  was,  good  boy,  to  begin  with,  who  out  of symphony  gave  you  the  permit.'^
—  Goodbye  now,  Shaun  replied,  with  a  voice  pure  as  a  church- mode,  in  echo  rightdainty,  with  a  good  catlick  tug  at  his  coco- moss  candylock,  a  foretaste  in  time  of  his  cabbageous  brain's curlyflower.  Athiacaro!  Comb  his  tar  odd  gee  sing  your  mower
0  meeow.'^  Greet  thee  Good.'^  How  are  them  columbuses!  Lard have  mustard  on  them!  Fatiguing,  very  fatiguing.  Hobos  horn- knees  and  the  corveeture  of  my  spine.  Poumeerme !  My  heaviest crux  and  dairy  lot  it  is,  with  a  bed  as  hard  as  the  thinkamuddles of  the  Greeks  and  a  board  as  bare  as  a  Roman  altar.  I'm  off rabbited  kitchens  and  relief  porridgers.  No  later  than  a  very  few fortnichts  since  I  was  meeting  on  the  Thinker's  Dam  with  a  pair of  men  out  of  glasshouse  whom  I  shuffled  hands  with  named MacBlacks — I  think  their  names  is  MacBlakes — from  the  Headfire Clump  —  and  they  were  improving  me  and  making  me  beliek  no five  hour  factory  life  with  insufficient  emollient  and  industrial disabled  for  them  that  day  o'gratises.  I  have  the  highest  grati- fication by  anuncing  how  I  have  it  from  whowho  but  Hagios CoUeenkiller's  prophecies.  After  suns  and  moons,  dews  and wettings,  thunders  and  fires,  comes  sabotag.  Solvitur  palum- hallando!  Tilvido!  Adie!
—  Then,  we  explained,  salve  a  tour,  ambly  andy,  you  possibly might  be  so  by  order.^
—  Forgive  me,  Shaun  repeated  from  his  liquid  lipes,  not  what
1  wants  to  do  a  strike  of  work  but  it  was  condemned  on  me  pre- mitially  by  Hireark  Books  and  Chiefoverseer  Cooks  in  their Eusebian  Concordant  Homilies  and  there  does  be  a  power  com-
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ing  over  me  that  is  put  upon  me  from  on  high  out  of  the  book  of breedings  and  so  as  it  is  becoming  hairydittary  I  have  of  coerce nothing  in  view  to  look  forward  at  unless  it  is  Swann  and  beat- ing the  blindquarters  out  of  my  oldfellow's  orologium  oloss  olo- rium.  A  bad  attack  of  maggot  it  feels  like.  'Tis  trope,  custodian said.  Almost  might  I  say  of  myself,  while  keeping  out  of  crime, I  am  now  becoming  about  fed  up  be  going  circulating  about  them new  hikler's  highways  like  them  nameless  souls,  ercked  and  skorned and  grizzild  all  over,  till  it's  rusty  October  in  this  bleak  forest and  was  veribally  complussed  by  thinking  of  the  crater  of  some noted  volcano  or  the  Dublin  river  or  the  catchalot  trouth  subsi- dity  as  away  out  or  to  isolate  i  from  my  multiple  Mes  on  the spits  of  Lumbage  Island  or  bury  meself,  clogs,  coolcellar  and  all, deep  in  my  wineupon  ponteen  unless  Morrissey's  colt  could  help me  or  the  gander  maybe  at  49  as  it  is  a  tithe  fish  so  it  is,  this pig's  stomach  business,  and  where  on  dearth  or  in  the  miraculous meddle  of  this  expending  umniverse  to  turn  since  it  came  into my  hands  I  am  hopeless  off  course  to  be  doing  anything  con- cerning.
—  We  expect  you  are,  honest  Shaun,  we  agreed,  but  from franking  machines,  Hmricked,  that  in  the  end  it  may  well  turn  out, we  hear  to  be  you,  our  belated,  who  will  bear  these  open  letter. Speak  to  us  of  Emailia.
—  As,  Shaun  replied  patly,  with  tootlepick  tact  too  and  a down  of  his  dampers,  to  that  I  have  the  gumpower  and,  by  the benison  of  Barbe,  that  is  a  lock  to  say  with  everything,  my  be- loved.
—  Would  you  mind  telling  us,  Shaun  honey,  beg  little  big moreboy,  we  proposed  to  such  a  dear  youth,  where  mostly  are you  able  to  work.  Ah,  you  might!  Whimper  and  we  shall.
—  Here!  Shaun  replied,  while  he  was  fondling  one  of  liis cowheel  cuffs.  There's  no  sabbath  for  nomads  and  I  mostly  was able  to  walk,  being  too  soft  for  work  proper,  sixty  odd  eilish mires  a  week  between  three  masses  a  morn  and  two  chaplets  at eve.  I  am  always  telling  those  pedcstriasts,  my  answerers.  Top, Sid  and  Hucky,  now  (and  it  is  a  veriest  throth  as  the  thieves'  re-
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scension)  how  it  was  forstold  for  me  by  brevet  for  my  vacation in  life  while  possessing  stout  legs  to  be  disbarred  after  holy  orders from  unnecessary  servile  work  of  reckless  walking  of  all  sorts  for the  relics  of  my  time  for  otherwise  by  my  so  douching  I  would get  into  a  blame  there  where  sieves  fall  out,  Excelsior  tips  the  best. Weak  stop  work  stop  walk  stop  whoak.  Go  thou  this  island,  one housesleep  there,  then  go  thou  other  island,  two  housesleep  there, then  catch  one  nightmaze,  then  home  to  dearies.  Never  back  a woman  you  defend,  never  get  quit  of  a  friend  on  whom  you depend,  never  make  face  to  a  foe  till  he's  rife  and  never  get  stuck to  another  man's  pfife.  Amen,  ptah !  His  hungry  will  be  done !  On the  continent  as  in  Eironesia.  But  believe  me  in  my  simplicity  I  am awful  good,  I  believe,  so  I  am,  at  the  root  of  me,  praised  be  right cheek  Discipline!  And  I  can  now  truthfully  declaret  before  my Geity's  Pantokreator  with  my  fleshfettered  palms  on  the  epizzles of  the  apossels  that  I  do  my  reasonabler's  best  to  recite  my  grocery beans  for  mummy  mit  dummy  mot  muthar  mat  bonzar  regular, genuflections  enclosed.  Hek  domov  muy,  there  thou  beest  on  the hummock,  ghee  up,  ye  dog,  for  your  daggily  broth,  etc.,  Happy Maria  and  Glorious  Patrick,  etc.,  etc.  In  fact,  always,  have  I believe.  Greedo  1  Her's  me  hongue !
—  And  it  is  the  fullsoot  of  a  tarabred.  Yet  one  minute's  ob- servation, dear  dogmestic  Shaun,  as  we  point  out  how  you  have while  away  painted  our  town  a  wearing  greenridinghued.
—  O  murder  mere,  how  did  you  hear.'^  Shaun  replied,  smoil- ing  the  ily  way  up  his  lampsleeve  (it  just  seemed  the  natural  thing to  do),  so  shy  of  light  was  he  then.  Well,  so  be  it!  The  gloom  hath rays,  her  lump  is  love.  And  I  will  confess  to  have,  yes.  Your diogneses  is  anonest  man's.  Thrubedore  I  did !  Inditty  I  did.  All  lay I  did.  Down  with  the  Saozon  ruze!  And  I  am  afraid  it  wouldn't be  my  first  coat's  wasting  after  striding  on  the  vampire  and  blaz- ing on  the  focoal.  See !  blazing  on  the  focoal.  As  see !  blazing  upon the  foe.  Like  the  regular  redshank  I  am.  Impregnable  as  the  mule himself.  Somebody  may  perhaps  hint  at  an  aughter  impression of  I  was  wrong.  No  such  a  thing!  You  never  made  a  more  freud- ful  mistake,  excuse  yourself!  What's  pork  to  you  means  meat  to
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me  while  you  behold  how  I  be  eld.  But  it  is  grandiose  by  my ways  of  thinking  from  the  prophecies.  New  worlds  for  all !  And they  were  scotographically  arranged  for  gentlemen  only  by  a scripchewer  in  whofoundland  who  finds  he  is  a  relative.  And  it was  with  my  extravert  davy.  Like  glue.  Be  through.  Moyhard's daynoight,  tomthumb.  Phwum !
—  How  mielodorous  is  thy  bel  chant,  O  songbird,  and  how exqueezit  thine  after  draught!  Buccinate  in  Emenia  tuba  insigni volumnitatis  tuae.  But  do  you  mean,  O  phausdheen  phewn,  from Pontoffbellek  till  the  Kisslemerched  our  ledan  triz  will  be.'^  we gathered  substantively  whether  furniture  would  or  verdure  var- nish.'^
—  It  is  a  confoundyous  injective  so  to  say,  Shaun  the  fiery boy  shouted,  naturally  incensed,  as  he  shook  the  red  pepper  out of  his  auricles.  And  another  time  please  confine  your  glaring  in- tinuations  to  some  other  mordant  body.  What  on  the  physiog of  this  furnaced  planet  would  I  be  doing  besides  your  verjuice.'* That  is  more  than  I  can  fix,  for  the  teom  bihan,  anyway.  So  let  I and  you  now  kindly  drop  that,  angryman!  That's  not  French pastry.  You  can  take  it  from  me.  Understand  me  when  I  tell  you (and  I  will  ask  you  not  to  whisple,  cry  golden  or  quoth  mecback) that  under  the  past  purcell's  ofiice,  so  deeply  deplored  by  my erstwhile  elder  friend.  Miss  Enders,  poachmistress  and  gay  re- ceiver ever  for  in  particular  to  the  Scotic  Poor  Men's  Thousand Gallon  Cow  Society  (I  was  thinking  of  her  in  sthore)  allbethey blessed  with  twentytwo  thousand  sorters  out  of  a  biggest  poss of  twentytwo  thousand,  mine's  won,  too  much  privet  stationery and  safty  quipu  was  ate  up  larchly  by  those  nettlesome  goats out  of  pension  greed.  Colpa  di  BeccOy  huon  apartitaf  Proceding, I  will  say  it  is  also  one  of  my  avowal's  intentions,  at  some  time pease  Pod  pluse  murthers  of  gout  (when  I  am  not  prepared  to  say) so  apt  as  my  pen  is  upt  to  scratch,  to  compound  quite  the  makings of  a  verdigrease  savingsbook  in  the  form  of  a  pair  of  capri sheep  boxing  gloves  surrounding  this  matter  of  the  Welsfusel mascoteers  and  their  sindybuck  that  saved  a  city  for  my  publickers, Nolaner  and  Browno,  Nickil  Hopstout,  Christcross,  so  long  as,
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thanks  to  force  of  destiny,  my  selary  as  a  paykelt  is  propaired, and  there  is  a  peg  under  me  and  there  is  a  turn  till  me.
To  the  Very  Honourable  The  Memory  of  Disgrace,  the  Most Noble,  Sometime  Sweepyard  at  the  Service  of  the  Writer.  Salu- tem  dicint.  The  just  defunct  Mrs  Sanders  who  (the  Loyd  insure her!)  I  was  shift  and  shuft  too,  with  her  shester  Mrs  Shunders, both  mudical  dauctors  from  highschoolhorse  and  aslyke  as Easther's  leggs.  She  was  the  niceliest  person  of  a  wellteached  non- party woman  that  I  ever  acquired  her  letters,  only  too  fat,  used to  babies  and  tottydean  verbish  this  is  her  entertermentdags  for she  shuk  the  bottle  and  tuk  the  medascene  all  times  a  day.  She was  well  under  ninety,  poor  late  Mrs,  and  had  tastes  of  the  poetics, me  having  stood  the  pilgarlick  a  fresh  at  sea  when  the  moon  also was  standing  in  a  corner  of  sweet  Standerson  my  ski.  P.L.M. Mevrouw  von  Andersen  was  her  whogave  me  a  muttonbrooch, stakkers  for  her  begfirst  party.  Honour  thy  farmer  and  my  lit- ters. This,  my  tears,  is  my  last  will  intesticle  wrote  off  in  the strutforit  about  their  absent  female  assauciations  which  I,  or  per- haps any  other  person  what  squaton  a  toffette,  have  the  honour to  had  upon  their  polite  sophykussens  in  the  real  presence  of  de- vouted  Mrs  Grumby  when  her  skin  was  exposed  to  the  air.  O what  must  the  grief  of  my  mund  be  for  two  little  ptpt  coolies worth  twenty  thousand  quad  herewitdnessed  with  both's maddlemass  wishes  to  Pepette  for  next  match  from  their  dearly beloved  Roggers,  M.D.D.  O.D.  May  doubling  drop  of  drooght! Writing.
—  Hopsoloosely  kidding  you  are  totether  with  your  cadenus and  goat  along  nose  how  we  shall  complete  that  white  paper. Two  venusstas!  Biggerstiff!  Qweer  but  gaon!  Be  trouz  and wholetrouz!  Otherwise,  frank  Shaun,  we  pursued,  what  would be  the  autobiography  of  your  softbodied  fumiform.^
—  Hooraymost!  None  whomsoever,  Shaun  replied.  Heavenly blank!  (he  had  intentended  and  was  peering  now  rather  close  to the  paste  of  his  rubiny  winklering)  though  it  ought  to  be  more or  less  rawcawcaw  romantical.  By  the  wag,  how  is  Mr  Fry.^  All of  it,  I  might  say,  in  ex-voto,  pay  and  perks  and  wooden  half-
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pence,  some  rhino,  rhine,  O  joy  oust  rhine,  was  handled  over  spon- daneously  by  me  (and  bundle  end  to  my  illwishers'  Miss  Anders  1 she  woor  her  wraith  of  ruins  the  night  she  lost  I  left !)  in  the  ligname of  Mr  van  Howten  of  Tredcastles,  Clowntalkin,  timbreman,  among my  prodigits  nabobs  and  navious  of  every  subscription  entitled the  Bois  in  the  Boscoor,  our  evicted  tenemants.  What  I  say  is  (and I  am  noen  roehorn  or  culkilt  permit  me  to  tell  you,  if  uninformed), I  never  spont  it.  Nor  have  I  the  ghuest  of  innation  on  me  the  way to.  It  is  my  rule  so.  It  went  anyway  like  hot  pottagebake.  And this  brings  me  to  my  fresh  point.  Quoniam,  I  am  as  plain  as portable  enveloped,  inhowmuch,  you  will  now  parably  receive, care  of  one  of  Mooseyeare  Goonness's  registered  andouterthus barrels.  Quick  take  um  whiffat  andrainit.  Now!
—  So  vi  etl  we  responded.  Song!  Shaun,  song!  Have  mood! Hold  forth!
—  I  apologuise,  Shaun  began,  but  I  would  rather  spinooze you  one  from  the  grimm  gests  of  Jacko  and  Esaup,  fable  one, feeble  too.  Let  us  here  consider  the  casus,  my  dear  little  cousis (husstenhasstencaffincoffintussemtossemdamandamnacosaghcusa- ghhobixhatouxpeswchbechoscashlcarcarcaract)  of  the  Ondt  and the  Gracehoper.
The  Gracehoper  was  always  jigging  ajog,  hoppy  on  akkant of  his  joyicity,  (he  had  a  partner  pair  of  findlestilts  to  supplant him),  or,  if  not,  he  was  always  making  ungraceful  overtures  to Floh  and  Luse  and  Bienie  and  Vespatilla  to  play  pupa-pupa  and pulicy-pulicy  and  langtennas  and  pushpygyddyum  and  to  com- mence insects  with  him,  there  mouthparts  to  his  orefice  and  his gambills  to  there  airy  processes,  even  if  only  in  chaste,  ameng the  everlistings,  behold  a  waspering  pot.  He  would  of  curse melissciously,  by  his  fore  feelhers,  flexors,  contractors,  depres- sors and  extensors,  lamely,  harry  me,  marry  me,  bury  me,  bind me,  till  she  was  puce  for  shame  and  allso  fourmish  her  in  Spin- ner's housery  at  the  earthsbest  schoppinhour  so  summery  as  his cottage,  which  was  cald  fourmillierly  Tingsomingenting,  groped up.  Or,  if  he  was  always  striking  up  funny  funereels  with  Bester- farther  Zeuts,  the  Aged  One,  with  all  his  wigeared  corollas,  albe-
dinous  and  oldbuoyant,  inscythe  his  elytrical  wormcasket  and Dehlia  and  Peonia,  his  druping  nymphs,  bewheedling  him,  com- pound eyes  on  hornitosehead,  and  Auld  Letty  Plussiboots  to scratch  his  cacumen  and  cackle  his  tramsitus,  diva  deborah  (seven bolls  of  sapo,  a  lick  of  lime,  two  spurts  of  fussfor,  threefurts  of sulph,  a  shake  o'shouker,  doze  grains  of  migniss  and  a  mesfull  of midcap  pitchies.  The  whool  of  the  whaal  in  the  wheel  of  the whorl  of  the  Boubou  from  Bourneum  has  thus  come  to  taonl), and  with  tambarins  and  cantoridettes  soturning  around  his  eggs- hill  rockcoach  their  dance  McCaper  in  retrophoebia,  beck  from bulk,  like  fantastic  disossed  and  jenny  aprils,  to  the  ra,  the  ra,  the ra,  the  ra,  langsome  heels  and  langsome  toesis,  attended  to  by  a mutter  and  doffer  duffmatt  baxingmotch  and  a  myrmidins  of pszozlers  pszinging  Satyr  s  Caudledayed  Nice  and  Horribly^ Domhly  Sod  We  Awhile  but  Ho,  Time  Timeagen,  Wake!  For  if sciendum  (what's  what)  can  mute  uns  nought,  'a  thought, abought  the  Great  Sommboddy  within  the  Omniboss,  perhops  an artsaccord  (hoot's  hoot)  might  sing  ums  tumtim  abutt  the  Little Newbuddies  that  ring  his  panch.  A  high  old  tide  for  the  bar- heated  publics  and  the  whole  day  as  gratiis !  Fudder  and  lighting for  ally  looty,  any  filly  in  a  fog,  for  O'Cronione  lags  acrumbling in  his  sands  but  his  sunsunsuns  still  tumble  on.  Erething  above ground,  as  his  Book  of  Breathings  bed  him,  so  as  everwhy,  sham or  shunner,  zeemliangly  to  kick  time.
Grouscious  me  and  scarab  my  sahul!  What  a  bagateller  it  is! Libelulous!  Inzanzarity!  Pou!  Pschla!  Ptuh!  What  a  zeit  for  the goths!  vented  the  Ondt,  who,  not  being  a  sommerfool,  was thothfolly  making  chilly  spaces  at  hisphex  affront  of  the  icinglass of  his  windhame,  which  was  cold  antitopically  Nixnixundnix. We  shall  not  come  to  party  at  that  lopp's,  he  decided  possibly, for  he  is  not  on  our  social  list.  Nor  to  Ba's  berial  nether,  thon sloghard,  this  oldeborre's  yaar  ablong  as  there's  a  khul  on  a  khat. Nefersenless,  when  he  had  safely  looked  up  his  ovipository,  he loftet  hails  and  prayed:  May  he  me  no  voida  water!  Seekit  Ha- tup!  May  no  he  me  tile  pig  shed  on!  Suckit  Hotup!  As  broad  as Beppy's  realm  shall  flourish  my  reign  shall  flourish!  As  high  as
41?
Heppy's  hevn  shall  flurrish  my  haine  shall  hurrish!  Shall  grow, shall  flourish!  Shall  hurrish!  Hummum.
The  Ondt  was  a  weltall  fellow,  raumybult  and  abelboobied, bynear  saw  altitudinous  wee  a  schelling  in  kopfers.  He  was  sair sair  sullemn  and  chairmanlooking  when  he  was  not  making  spaces in  his  psyche,  but,  laus !  when  he  wore  making  spaces  on  his  ikey, he  ware  mouche  mothst  secred  and  muravyingly  wisechairman- looking.  Now  whim  the  sillybilly  of  a  Gracehoper  had  jingled through  a  jungle  of  love  and  debts  and  jangled  through  a  jumble of  life  in  doubts  afterworse,  wetting  with  the  bimblebeaks,  drik- king  with  nautonects,  bilking  with  durrydunglecks  and  horing after  lady  birdies  (ichnehmon  diagelegenaitoikon)  he  fell  joust  as sieck  as  a  sexton  and  tantoo  pooveroo  quant  a  churchprince,  and wheer  the  midges  to  wend  hemsylph  or  vosch  to  sirch  for  grub for  his  corapusse  or  to  find  a  hospes,  alick,  he  wist  gnit!  Bruko dry!  fuko  spint!  Sultamont  osa  bare!  And  volomundo  osi  vide- vide!  Nichtsnichtsundnichts!  Not  one  pickopeck  of  muscow- money  to  bag  a  tittlebits  of  beebread!  lomio!  lomio!  Crick's corbicule,  which  a  plight!  O  moy  Bog,  he  contrited  with  melan- ctholy.  Meblizzered,  him  sluggered !  I  am  heartily  hungry !
He  had  eaten  all  the  whilepaper,  swallowed  the  lustres,  de- voured forty  flights  of  styearcases,  chewed  up  all  the  mensas  and seccles,  ronged  the  records,  made  mundballs  of  the  ephemerids and  vorasioused  most  glutinously  with  the  very  timeplace  in  the ternitary  —  not  too  dusty  a  cicada  of  neutriment  for  a  chittinous chip  so  mitey.  But  when  Chrysalmas  was  on  the  bare  branches, off  he  went  from  Tingsomingenting.  He  took  a  round  stroll  and he  took  a  stroll  round  and  he  took  a  round  strollagain  till  the grillies  in  his  head  and  the  leivnits  in  his  hair  made  him  thought he  had  the  Tossmania.  Had  he  twicycled  the  sees  of  the  deed and  trestraversed  their  revermer?  Was  he  come  to  hevre  with  his engiles  or  gone  to  hull  with  the  poop?  The  June  snows  was flocking  in  thuckflues  on  the  hegelstomes,  millipeeds  of  it  and myriopoods,  and  a  lugly  whizzling  tournedos,  the  Boraborayel- Jers,  blohablasting  tegolhuts  up  to  tetties  and  ruching  sleets  off the  coppeehouses,  playing  ragnowrock  rignewreck,  with  an  irri-
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tant,  penetrant,  siphonopterous  spuk.  Grausssssss!  Opr! Grausssssss!  Opr!
The  Gracehoper  who,  though  blind  as  batflea,  yet  knew,  not a  leetle  beetle,  his  good  smetterling  of  entymology  asped  niss- unitimost  lous  nor  liceens  but  promptly  tossed  himself  in  the vico,  phthin  and  phthir,  on  top  of  his  buzzer,  tezzily  wondering wheer  would  his  aluck  alight  or  boss  of  both  appease  and  the next  time  he  makes  the  aquinatance  of  the  Ondt  after  this  they have  met  themselves,  these  mouschical  umsummables,  it  shall  be motylucky  if  he  will  beheld  not  a  world  of  differents.  Behailed His  Gross  the  Ondt,  prostrandvorous  upon  his  dhrone,  in  his Papylonian  babooshkees,  smolking  a  spatial  brunt  of  Hosana cigals,  with  unshrinkables  farfalling  from  his  unthinkables, swarming  of  himself  in  his  sunnyroom,  sated  before  his  com- fortumble  phullupsuppy  of  a  plate  o'monkynous  and  a  confucion of  minthe  (for  he  was  a  conformed  aceticist  and  aristotaller),  as appi  as  a  oneysucker  or  a  baskerboy  on  the  Libido,  with  Floh biting  his  leg  thigh  and  Luse  lugging  his  luff  leg  and  Bieni  bussing him  under  his  bonnet  and  Vespatilla  blowing  cosy  fond  tutties up  the  allabroad  length  of  the  large  of  his  smalls.  As  entomate as  intimate  could  pinchably  be.  Emmet  and  demmet  and  be  jiltses crazed  and  be  jadeses  whipt!  schneezed  the  Gracehoper,  aguepe with  ptchjelasys  and  at  his  wittoFs  indts,  what  have  eyeforsight!
The  Ondt,  that  true  and  perfect  host,  a  spiter  aspinne,  was making  the  greatest  spass  a  body  could  with  his  queens  lace- swinging  for  he  was  spizzing  all  over  him  like  thingsumanything in  formicolation,  boundlessly  blissfilled  in  an  allallahbath  of houris.  He  was  ameising  himself  hugely  at  crabround  and  mary- pose,  chasing  Floh  out  of  charity  and  tickling  Luse,  I  hope  too, and  tackling  Bienie,  faith,  as  well,  and  jucking  Vespatilla  jukely by  the  chimiche.  Never  did  Dorsan  from  Dunshanagan  dance  it with  more  devilry!  The  veripatetic  imago  of  the  impossible Gracehoper  on  his  odderkop  in  the  myre,  after  his  thrice  ephe- meral journeeys,  sans  mantis  ne  shooshooe,  featherweighed animule,  actually  and  presumptuably  sinctifying  chronic's  de- spair, was  sufficiendy  and  probably  coocoo  much  for  his  chorous
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of  gravitates.  Let  him  be  Artalone  the  Weeps  with  his  parisites peeling  off  him  Til  be  Highfee  the  Crackasider.  Flunkey  Footle furloughed  foul,  writing  off  his  phoney,  but  Conte  Carme  makes the  melody  that  mints  the  money.  Ad  majorem  Ls.dJ  Divigloriam. A  darkener  of  the  threshold.  Haru.'^  Orimis,  capsizer  of  his  ant- boat,  sekketh  rede  from  Evil-it-is,  lord  of  loaves  in  Amongded. Be  it!  So  be  it!  Thou-who-thou-art,  the  fleet-as-spindhrift, impfang  thee  of  mine  wideheight.  Haru  1 The  thing  pleased  him  andt,  and  andt.
He  larved  ond  he  larved  on  he  merd  such  a  nauses
The  Gracehoper  feared  he  would  mixplace  his  fauces.
I  forgive  yoUy  grondt  Ondty  said  the  Gracehoper  ^  weeping.
For  their  sukes  of  the  sakes  you  are  safe  in  whose  keeping.
Teach  Floh  and  Luse  polkas,  show  Bienie  where  s  sweet
And  he  sure  Vespatilla  fines  fat  ones  to  heat.
As  I  once  played  the  piper  I  must  now  pay  the  count
So  saida  to  Moyhammlet  and  marhaba  to  your  Mount/
Let  who  likes  lump  above  so  what  flies  be  a  full  'un;
I  could  not  feel  moregruggy  if  this  was  prompollen.
I  pick  up  your  reproof  the  horsegift  of  a  friend.
For  the  pri^e  of  your  save  is  the  price  of  my  spend.
Can  castwhores  pulladeftkiss  if  oldpollocks  forsake  'em
Or  Culex  feel  etchy  if  Pulex  dont  wake  him?
A  locus  to  loue,  a  term  it  tembarass.
These  twain  are  the  twins  that  tick  Homo  Vulgaris.
Has  Aquileone  nort  winged  to  go  syf
Since  the  Gwyfyn  we  were  in  his  farrest  drewbryf
And  that  Accident  Man  not  beseeked  where  his  story  ends
Since  longsephyring  sighs  sought  heartseast  for  their  orience?
We  are  Wastenot  with  Want,  precondamned,  two  and  true.
Till  Nolans  go  volants  and  Bruneyes  come  blue.
Ere  those  gidflirts  now  gadding  you  quit  your  mocks  for  my  gropes
An  extense  must  impull,  an  elapse  must  elopes.
Of  my  tectucs  takestock,  tinktact,  and  ail's  weal;
As  I  view  by  your  farlook  hale  yourself  to  my  heal.
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Partiprise  my  thinwhins  whiles  my  blink  points  unbroken  on
Your  whole's  whercabroads  with  Tout's  trightyright  token  on.
My  in  risible  universe  youdly  haud  find
Sulch  oxtrabeeforeness  meat  soveal  behind.
Your  feats  end  enormous y  your  volumes  immense ^
{May  the  Graces  I  hoped  for  sing  your  Ondtship  song  sense/)  y
Your  genus  its  worldwide,  your  spacest  sublime!
Buty  Holy  Saltmartiny  why  can't  you  beat  time?
In  the  name  of  the  former  and  of  the  latter  and  of  their  holo- caust. Allmen.
—  Now?  How  good  you  are  in  explosition!  How  farflung  is your  fokloire  and  how  velktingeling  your  volupkabulary!  Qui vive  sparanto  qua  muore  contanto.  O  foibler,  O  flip,  you've  that wandervogl  wail  withyin !  It  falls  easily  upon  the  earopen  and  goes down  the  friskly  shortiest  like  treacling  tumtim  with  its  tingting- taggle.  The  blarneyest  blather  in  all  Corneywall!  But  could  you, of  course,  decent  Lettrechaun,  we  knew  (to  change  your  name  of not  your  nation)  while  still  in  the  barrel,  read  the  strangewrote anaglyptics  of  those  shemletters  patent  for  His  Christian's  Em?
—  Greek!  Hand  it  to  me!  Shaun  replied,  plosively  pointing  to the  cinnamon  quistoquill  behind  his  acoustrolobe.  I'm  as  after- dusk  nobly  Roman  as  pope  and  water  could  christen  me.  Look at  that  for  a  ridingpin!  I  am,  thing  Sing  Larynx,  letter  potent  to play  the  sem  backwards  like  Oscan  wild  or  in  shunt  Persse  trans- luding  from  the  Otherman  or  oiff  the  Toptic  or  anything  off  the types  of  my  finklers  in  the  draught  or  with  buttles,  with  my  oyes thickshut  and  all.  But,  hellas,  it  is  harrobrew  bad  on  the  corns  and callouses.  As  far  as  that  goes  I  associate  myself  with  your  remark just  now  from  theodicy  re'furloined  notepaper  and  quite  agree  in your  prescriptions  for  indeed  I  am,  pay  Gay,  in  juxtaposition  to say  it  is  not  a  nice  production.  It  is  a  pinch  of  scribble,  not wortha  bottle  of  cabbis.  Overdrawn!  Puffedly  offal  tosh!  Be- sides its  auctionable,  all  about  crime  and  libel !  Nothing  beyond clerical  horrors  et  omnibus  to  be  entered  for  the  foreign  as  second- class  matter.  The  fuellest  filth  ever  fired  since  Charley  Lucan's.
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Flummery  is  what  I  would  call  it  if  you  were  to  ask  me  to  put  it on  a  single  dimension  what  pronounced  opinion  I  might  possibly orally  have  about  them  bagses  of  trash  which  the  mother  and Mr  Unmentionable  (O  breed  not  his  same!)  has  reduced  to  writ- ing without  making  news  out  of  my  sootynemm.  When  she slipped  under  her  couchman.  And  \y}iere  he  made  a  cat  with  a peep.  How  they  wore  two  madges  on  the  makewater.  And  why there  were  treefellers  in  the  shrubrubs.  Then  he  hawks  his  hand- mud  figgers  from  Francie  to  Fritzie  down  in  the  kookin.  Phiz is  me  mother  and  Hair's  me  father.  Bauv  Betty  Famm  and  Pig Pig  Pike.  Their  livetree  (may  it  flourish !)  by  their  ecotaph  (let  it stayne!).  With  balsinbal  bimbies  swarming  tiltop.  Comme  bien, Comme  bien!  Feefeel!  Feefeel!  And  the  Dutches  dyin  loffin  at his  pon  peck  de  Barec.  And  all  the  mound  reared.  Till  he  wot  not wot  to  begin  he  should.  An  infant  sailing  eggshells  on  the  floor of  a  wet  day  would  have  more  sabby.
Letter,  carried  of  Shaun,  son  of  Hek,  written  of  Shem,  brother of  Shaun,  uttered  for  Alp,  mother  of  Shem,  for  Hek,  father  of Shaun.  Initialled.  Gee.  Gone.  29  Hardware  Saint.  Lendet  till Laonum.  Baile-Atha-Cliath.  31  Jan.  11 32  a.d.  Here  Com- merces Enville.  Tried  Apposite  House.  13  Fitzgibbets.  Loco. Dangerous.  Tax  9d.  B.L.  Guineys,  esqueer.  L.B.  Not  known  at 1 132  a.  12  Norse  Richmound.  Nave  unlodgeable.  Loved  noa's dress.  Sinned,  Jetty  Pierrse.  Noon  sick  parson.  92  Windsewer. Ave.  No  such  no.  Vale.  Finn's  Hot.  Exbelled  from  1014  d.  Pull- down. Fearview.  Opened  by  Miss  Take.  965  nighumpledan  sexti- ffits.  Shout  at  Site.  Roofloss.  Fit  Dunlop  and  Be  Satisfied.  Mr. Domnall  O'Domnally.  Q.V.  8  Royal  Terrors.  None  so  strait. Shutter  up.  Dining  with  the  Danes.  Removed  to  Philip's  Burke. At  sea.  D.E.D.  Place  scent  on.  Clontalk.  Father  Jacob,  Rice Factor.  3  Castlewoos.  P.V.  Arrusted.  J.P.  Converted  to  Hos- pitalism. Ere  the  March  past  of  Civilisation.  Once  Bank  of  Ireland's. Return  to  City  Arms.  2  Milchbroke.  Wrongly  spilled.  Traumcon- draws.  Now  Bunk  of  England's.  Drowned  in  the  Lafley.  Here. The  Reverest  Adam  Foundlitter.  Shown  geshotten.  7  Streetpetres. Since  Cabranke.  Seized  of  the  Crownd.  Well,  Sir  Arthur.  Buy
420
Patersen's  Matches.  Unto  his  promisk  hands.  Blown  up  last Lemmas  by  Orchid  Lodge.  Search  Unclaimed  Male.  House  Con- damned  by  Ediles.  Back  in  Few  Minutes.  Closet  for  Repeers.  60 Shellburn.  Key  at  Kate's.  Kiss.  Isaac's  Butt,  Poor  Man.  Dalicious arson.  Caught.  Missing.  Justiciated.  Kainly  forewarred.  Abraham Badly's  King,  Park  Bogey.  Salved.  All  reddy  berried.  Hollow  and eavy.  Desert  it.  Overwayed.  Understrumped.  Back  to  the  P.O. Kaer  of.  Ownes  owe  M.O.  Too  Let.  To  Be  Soiled.  Cohabited by  Unfortunates.  Lost  all  Licence.  His  Bouf  Toe  is  Frozen  Over. X,  Y  and  Z,  Ltd,  Destinied  Tears.  A.B,  ab.  Sender.  Boston (Mass).  31  Jun.  13,  12.  P.D.  Razed.  Lawyered.  Vacant.  Mined. Here's  the  BayleafFs.  Step  out  to  Hall  out  of  that,  Ereweaker, with  your  Bloody  Big  Bristol.  Bung.  Stop.  Bung.  Stop.  Cumm Bumm.  Stop.  Came  Baked  to  Auld  Aireen.  Stop.
—  Kind  Shaun,  we  all  requested,  much  as  we  hate  to  say  it, but  since  you  rose  to  the  use  of  money  have  you  not,  without suggesting  for  an  instant,  millions  of  moods  used  up  slanguage tun  times  as  words  as  the  penmarks  used  out  in  sinscript  with  such hesitancy  by  your  cerebrated  brother  —  excuse  me  not  men- tioningahem.^
—  CelebrAted!  Shaun  replied  under  the  sheltar  of  his  brog- uish,  vigorously  rubbing  his  magic  lantern  to  a  glow  of  full- consciousness.  HeCitEncy!  Your  words  grates  on  my  ares. Notorious  I  rather  would  feel  inclined  to  myself  in  the  first  place to  describe  Mr  O'Shem  the  Draper  with  before  letter  as  should I  be  accentually  called  upon  for  a  dieoguinnsis  to  pass  my  opinions, properly  spewing,  into  impulsory  irelitz.  But  I  would  not  care  to be  so  unfruitful  to  my  own  part  as  to  swear  for  the  moment  posi- tively as  to  the  views  of  Denmark.  No,  sah !  But  let  me  say  my every  belief  before  my  high  Gee  is  that  I  much  doubt  of  it.  I've  no room  for  that  fellow  on  my  fagroaster,  I  just  can't.  As  I  hourly learn  from  Rooters  and  Havers  through  Gilligan's  maypoles  in a  nice  pathetic  notice  he,  the  pixillated  doodler,  is  on  his  last  with illegible  clergimanths  boasting  always  of  his  ruddy  complexious ! She,  the  mammy  far,  was  put  up  to  it  by  him,  the  iniquity  that ought  to  be  depraved  of  his  libertins  to  be  silenced,  sackclothed
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and  suspended,  and  placed  in  irons  into  some  drapyery  institution off  the  antipopees  for  wordsharping  only  if  he  was  klanver  enough to  pass  the  panel  fleischcurers  and  the  fieldpost  censor.  Gach! For  that  is  a  fullblown  fact  and  well  celibated  before  the  four divorce  courts  and  all  the  King's  paunches,  how  he  has  the solitary  from  seeing  Scotch  snakes  and  has  a  lowsense  for  the  pro- duction of  consumption  and  dalickey  cyphalos  on  his  brach premises  where  he  can  purge  his  contempt  and  dejeunerate  into  a skilly  ton  be  thinking  himself  to  death.  Rot  him !  Flannelfeet  1  Flatty- ro!  I  will  describe  you  in  a  word.  Thou.  (I  beg  your  pardon.) Homo!  Then  putting  his  bedfellow  on  me!  (like  into  mike  and nick  onto  post).  The  criniman:  I'll  give  it  to  him  for  that!  Making the  lobbard  change  hisstops,  as  we  say  in  the  long  book!  Is  he on  whosekeeping  or  are  my!  Obnoximost  posthumust!  With  his unique  hornbook  and  his  prince  of  the  apauper's  pride,  blunder- ing all  over  the  two  worlds !  If  he  waits  till  I  buy  him  a  mossel- man's  present!  Ho's  nos  halfcousin  of  mine,  pigdish!  Nor  wants to!  I'd  famish  with  the  cuistha  first.  Aham!
—  May  we  petition  you,  Shaun  illustrious,  then,  to  put  his prentis'  pride  in  your  aproper's  purse  and  to  unravel  in  your  own sweet  way  with  words  of  style  to  your  very  and  most  obse- quient,  we  suggested,  with  yet  an  esiop's  foible,  as  to  how.'^
—  Well  it  is  partly  my  own,  isn't  it.'^  and  you  may,  ought  and welcome,  Shaun  replied,  taking  at  the  same  time,  as  his  hunger got  the  bitter  of  him,  a  hearty  bite  out  of  the  honeycomb  of  his Braham  and  Melosedible  hat,  tryone,  tryon  and  triune.  Ann  wun- kum.  Sure,  I  thunkum  you  knew  all  about  that,  honorey  causes, through  thelemontary  channels  long  agum.  Sure,  that  is  as  old  as the  Baden  bees  of  Saint  Dominoc's  and  as  commonpleas  now  to alius  pueblows  and  bunkum  as  Nelson  his  trifulgurayous  pillar. However.  Let  me  see,  do.  Beerman's  bluff  was  what  begun  it.  Old Knoll  and  his  borrowing!  And  then  the  liliens  of  the  veldt,  Nancy Nickies  and  Folletta  Lajambe!  Then  mem  and  hem  and  the  jaque- jack.  All  about  Wucherer  and  righting  his  name  for  him.  I  regret to  announce,  after  laying  out  his  litterery  bed,  for  two  days  she kept  squealing  down  for  noisy  priors  and  bawling  out  to  her
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jameymock  farceson  in  Shemish  like  a  mouther  of  the  incas  with a  garcielasso  huw  Ananymus  pinched  her  tights  and  about  the Bait  with  the  markshaire  parawag  and  his  loyal  divorces,  when  he  "z.*  B  *2- feraxiously  shed  ovas  in  Alemaney,  tse  tse,  all  the  tell  of  the  tud with  the  bourighevisien  backclack,  and  him,  the  cribibber  like  an ambi trickster,  aspiring  like  the  decan's,  fast  aslooped  in  the  in- trance  to  his  polthronechair  with  his  sixth  finger  between  his  cats-  -r-v  ^  7^. eye  and  the  index,  making  his  pillgrimace  of  Childe  Horrid,  en-  u grossing  to  his  ganderpan  what  the  idioglossary  he  invented  under hicks  hyssop!  Hock!  Ickick  gav  him  that  toock,  imitator!  And  it was  entirely  theck  latter  to  blame.  Does  he  drink  because  I  am  sorely there  shall  be  no  more  Kates  and  Nells.  If  you  see  him  it  took place  there.  It  was  given  meeck,  thank  the  Bench,  to  assist  at  the whole  thing  byck  special  chancery  licence.  As  often  as  I  think  of that  unbloody  housewarmer,  Shem  Skrivenitch,  always  cutting my  prhose  to  please  his  phrase,  bogorror,  I  declare  I  get  the jawache!  Be  me  punting  his  reflection  he'd  begin  his  beogre- fright  in  muddyass  ribalds.  Digteter!  Grundtsagar!  Swop  beef! You  know  he's  peculiar,  that  eggschicker,  with  the  smell  of  old woman  off  him,  to  suck  nothing  of  his  switchedupes.  M.D.  made his  ante  mortem  for  him.  He  was  grey  at  three,  like  sygnus  the swan,  when  he  made  his  boo  to  the  public  and  barnacled  up  to  the eyes  when  he  repented  after  seven.  The  alum  that  winters  on  his top  is  the  stale  of  the  staun  that  will  soar  when  he  stambles  till that  hag  of  the  coombe  rapes  the  pad  off  his  lock.  He  was  down with  the  whooping  laugh  at  the  age  of  the  loss  of  reason  the whopping  first  time  he  prediseased  me.  He's  weird,  I  tell  you,  and middayevil  down  to  his  vegetable  soul.  Never  mind  his  falls feet  and  his  tanbark  complexion.  That's  why  he  was  forbidden tomate  and  was  warmed  off  the  ricecourse  of  marrimoney,  under the  Helpless  Corpses  Enactment.  I'm  not  at  all  surprised  the  saint kicked  him  whereby  the  sum  taken  Berkeley  showed  the  reason genrously.  Negas^  negasti  —  negertop,  negertoe,  negertoby,  ne- grunter!  Then  he  was  pusched  out  of  Thingamuddy's  school by  Miss  Garterd,  for  itching.  Then  he  caught  the  europicolas  and went  into  the  society  of  jewses.  With  Bro  Cahlls  and  Fran  Czeschs
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and  Bruda  Pszths  and  Brat  Slaves.  One  temp  when  he  foiled  to be  killed,  the  freak  wanted  to  put  his  bilingual  head  intentionally through  the  Ikish  Tames  and  go  and  join  the  clericy  as  a  demoni- can  skyterrier.  Throwing  dust  in  the  eyes  of  the  Hooley  Fer- mers!  He  used  to  be  avowdeed  as  he  ought  to  be  vitandist.  For onced  I  squeaked  by  twyst  Til  squelch  him.  Then  he  went  to Cecilia's  treat  on  his  solo  to  pick  up  Galen.  Asbestopoulos !  Inku- pot!  He  has  encaust  in  the  blood.  Shim!  I  have  the  outmost  con- tempt for.  Prost  bitten!  Conshy!  Tiberia  is  waiting  on  you, arestocrank !  Chaka  a  seagull  ticket  at  Gattabuia  and  Gabbiano's ! Go  o'er  the  sea,  haythen,  from  me  and  leave  your  libber  to  TCD. Your  puddin  is  cooked!  You're  served,  cram  ye!  Fatefully yaourth  .  . .  Ex.  Ex.  Ex.  Ex.
—  But  for  what,  thrice  truthful  teller,  Shaun  of  grace .'^  weakly we  went  on  to  ask  now  of  the  gracious  one.  Vouchsafe  to  say. You  will  now,  goodness,  won't  you.'*  Why.^
—  For  his  root  language,  if  you  ask  me  whys,  Shaun  replied, as  he  blessed  himself  devotionally  like  a  crawsbomb,  making  act of  oblivion,  footinmouther!  (what  the  thickuns  else.'*)  which  he picksticked  into  his  lettruce  invrention.  UUhodturdenweirmud- gaardgringnirurdrmolnirfenrirlukkilokkibaugimandodrrerin- surtkrinmgernrackinarockar !  Thor's  for  yo!
—  The  hundredlettered  name  again,  last  word  of  perfect  lan- guage. But  you  could  come  near  it,  we  do  suppose,  strong  Shaun O',  we  foresupposed.  How.'^
—  Peax!  Peax!  Shaun  replied  in  vealar  penultimatum.  'Tis pebils  before  Sweeney's  as  he  swigged  a  slug  of  Jon  Jacobsen from  his  treestem  sucker  cane.  Mildbut  likesome!  I  might  as well  be  talking  to  the  four  waves  till  tibbes  grey  eves  and  the rests  asleep.  Frost!  Nope!  No  one  in  his  seven  senses  could  as I  have  before  said,  only  you  missed  my  drift,  for  it's  being  in- cendiary. Every  dimmed  letter  in  it  is  a  copy  and  not  a  few  of  the silbils  and  wholly  words  I  can  show  you  in  my  Kingdom  of Heaven.  The  lowquacity  of  him!  With  his  threestar  monothong! Thaw!  The  last  word  in  stolentelling!  And  what's  more  right- down  lowbrown  schisthematic  robblemint !  Yes.  As  he  was  rising
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my  lather.  Like  you.  And  as  I  was  plucking  his  goosybone.  Like yea.  He  store  the  tale  of  me  shur.  Like  yup.  How's  that  for Shemese.'^
—  Still  in  a  way,  not  to  flatter  you,  we  fancy  you  that  you  are so  strikingly  brainy  and  well  letterread  in  yourshelves  as  ever  were the  Shamous  Shamonous,  Limited,  could  use  worse  of  yourself,  in- genious Shaun,  we  still  so  fancied,  if  only  you  would  take  your time  so  and  the  trouble  of  so  doing  it.  Upu  now!
—  Undoubtedly  but  that  is  show,  Shaun  replied,  the  mutter- melk  of  his  blood  donor  beginning  to  work,  and  while  innocent of  disseminating  the  foul  emanation,  it  would  be  a  fall  day  I could  not,  sole,  so  you  can  keep  your  space  and  by  the  power  of blurry  wards  I  am  loyable  to  do  it  (I  am  convicted  of  it!)  any  time ever  I  liked  (bet  ye  fippence  off  me  boot  allowance!)  with  the allergrossest  transfusiasm  as,  you  see,  while  I  can  soroquise  the Siamanish  better  than  most,  it  is  an  openear  secret,  be  it  said, how  I  am  extremely  ingenuous  at  the  clerking  even  with  my badily  left  and,  arrah  go  braz,  I'd  pinsel  it  with  immenuensoes as  easy  as  I'd  perorate  a  chickerow  of  beans  for  the  price  of  two maricles  and  my  trifolium  librotto,  the  authordux  Book  of  Lief, would,  if  given  to  daylight,  (I  hold  a  most  incredible  faith  about it)  far  exceed  what  that  bogus  bolshy  of  a  shame,  my  soamheis brother,  Gaoy  Fecks,  is  conversant  with  in  audible  black  and prink.  Outragedy  of  poetscalds!  Acomedy  of  letters!  I  have them  all,  tame,  deep  and  harried,  in  my  mine's  I.  And  one  of these  fine  days,  man  dear,  when  the  mood  is  on  me,  that  I may  willhap  cut  my  throat  with  my  tongue  tonight  but  I  will be  ormuzd  moved  to  take  potlood  and  introvent  it  Paatryk  just like  a  work  of  merit,  mark  my  words  and  append  to  my  mark twang,  that  will  open  your  pucktricker's  ops  for  you,  broather brooher,  only  for,  as  a  papst  and  an  immature  and  a  nayophight and  a  spaciaman  spaciosum  and  a  hundred  and  eleven  other  things, I  would  never  for  anything  take  so  much  trouble  of  such  doing. And  why  so.'^  Because  I  am  altogether  a  chap  too  fly  and  hairy  man for  to  infradig  the  like  of  that  ultravirulence.  And  by  all  I  hold sacred  on  earth  clouds  and  in  heaven  I  swear  to  you  on  my  piop
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and  oath  by  the  awe  of  Shaun  (and  that's  a  howl  of  a  name!)  that I  will  commission  to  the  flames  any  incendiarist  whosoever  or ahriman  howsoclever  who  would  endeavour  to  set  ever  annyma roner  moother  of  mine  on  fire.  Rock  me  julie  but  I  will  soho !
And,  with  that  crickcrackcruck  of  his  threelungged  squool from  which  grief  had  usupped  every  smile,  big  hottempered husky  fusky  krenfy  strenfy  pugiliser,  such  as  he  was,  he  virtually broke  down  on  the  mooherhead,  getting  quite  jerry  over  her, overpowered  by  himself  with  the  love  of  the  tearsilver  that he  twined  through  her  hair  for,  sure,  he  was  the  soft  semplgawn slob  of  the  world  with  a  heart  like  Montgomery's  in  his  showchest and  harvey  loads  of  feeling  in  him  and  as  innocent  and  undesign- ful  as  the  freshfallen  calef.  Still,  grossly  unselfish  in  sickself,  he dished  allarmes  away  and  laughed  it  ofi"  with  a  wipe  at  his  pud- gies  and  a  gulp  apologetic,  healing  his  tare  be  the  smeyle  of  his oye,  oogling  around.  Him  belly  no  belong  sollow  mole  pigeon. Ally  bully.  Fu  Li's  gulpa.  Mind  you,  now,  that  he  was  in  the dumpest  of  earnest  orthough  him  jawr  war  hoo  hleepy  hor  halk urthing  hurther.  Moe  like  that  only  he  stopped  short  in  looking up  up  upfrom  his  tide  shackled  wrists  through  the  ghost  of  an ocean's,  the  wieds  of  pansiful  heath vens  of  joepeter's  gaseytotum as  they  are  telling  not  but  were  and  will  be,  all  told,  scruting  fore- back  into  the  fargoneahead  to  feel  out  what  age  in  years  tropical, ecclesiastic,  civil  or  sidereal  he  might  find  by  the  sirious  pointstand of  Charley's  Wain  (what  betune  the  spheres  sledding  along  the lacteal  and  the  mansions  of  the  blest  turning  on  old  times)  as  ere- while  had  he  craved  of  thus,  the  dreamskhwindel  necklassoed  him, his  thumbs  fell  into  his  fists  and,  lusosing  the  harmonical  balance of  his  ballbearing  extremities,  by  the  holy  kettle,  like  a  flask  of lightning  over  he  careened  (O  the  sons  of  the  fathers!)  by  the mightyfine  weight  of  his  barrel  (all  that  prevented  the  happering of  who  if  not  the  asterisks  bet  wink  themselves  shall  ever.^)  and, as  the  wisest  postlude  course  he  could  playact,  collaspsed  in  en- semble and  rolled  buoyantly  backwards  in  less  than  a  twink- ling via  Rattigan's  corner  out  of  farther  earshot  with  his  highly curious  mode  of  slipashod  motion,  surefoot,  sorefoot,  slickfoot,
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slackfoot,  linkman  laizurely,  lampman  loungey,  and  by  Killesther's lapes  and  falls,  with  corks,  staves  and  treeleaves  and  more  bub- bles to  his  keelrow  a  fairish  and  easy  way  enough  as  the  town  cow cries  behind  the  times  in  the  direction  of  Mac  AulifFe's,  the  crucet- house,  Open  the  Door  Softly^  down  in  the  valley  before  he  was really  uprighted  ere  in  a  dip  of  the  downs  (uila!)  he  spoorlessly disappaled  and  vanesshed,  like  a  popo  down  a  papa,  from  circular circulatio.  Ah,  mean! Gaogaogaone!  Tapaa!
And  the  Stellas  were  shinings.  And  the  earthnight  strewed aromatose.  His  pibrook  creppt  mong  the  donkness.  A  reek  was waft  on  the  luftstream.  He  was  ours,  all  fragrance.  And  we  were his  for  a  lifetime.  O  dulcid  dreamings  languidous!  Taboccoo!
It  was  sh arming!  But  sharmeng!
And  the  lamp  went  out  as  it  couldn't  glow  on  burning,  yep,  the Imp  wnt  out  for  it  couldn't  stay  alight.
Well,  (how  dire  do  we  thee  hours  when  thylike  fades !)  all's  dall and  youllow  and  it  is  to  bedowern  that  thou  art  passing  hence, mine  bruder,  able  Shaun,  with  a  twhisking  of  the  robe,  ere  the morning  of  light  calms  our  hardest  throes,  beyond  cods'  cradle and  porpoise  plain,  from  carnal  relations  undfamiliar  faces,  to  the inds  of  Tuskland  where  the  oliphants  scrum  till  the  ousts  of Amiracles  where  the  toll  stories  grow  proudest,  more  is  the  pity, but  for  all  your  deeds  of  goodness  you  were  soo  ooft  and  for ever  doing,  manomano  and  myriamilia  even  to  mulimuli,  as our  humbler  classes,  whose  virtue  is  humility,  can  tell,  it  is  hardly we  in  the  country  of  the  old,  Sean  Moy,  can  part  you  for,  oleypoe, you  were  the  walking  saint,  you  were,  tootoo  too  stayer,  the graced  of  gods  and  pittites  and  the  salus  of  the  wake.  Countenance whose  disparition  afflictedly  fond  Fuinn  feels.  Winner  of  the gamings,  primed  at  the  studience,  propredicted  from  the  story- bouts,  the  choice  of  ages  wise!  Spickspookspokesman  of  our specturesque  silentiousness!  Musha,  beminded  of  us  out  therein  '2.  7^ Cockpit,  poor  twelve  o'clock  scholars,  sometime  or  other  any- when  you  think  the  time.  Wisha,  becoming  back  to  us  way  home in  Biddyhouse  one  way  or  either  anywhere  we  miss  your  smile.
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Palmwine  breadfruit  sweetmeat  milksoup!  Suasusupo!  However! Our  people  here  in  Samoanesia  will  not  be  after  forgetting  you and  the  elders  luking  and  marking  the  jornies,  chalkin  up  drizzle in  drizzle  out  on  the  four  bare  mats.  How  you  would  be  thinking in  your  thoughts  how  the  deepings  did  it  all  begin  and  how  you would  be  scrimmaging  through  your  scruples  to  collar  a  hold  of an  imperfection  being  committled.  Sireland  calls  you.  Mery  Loye is  saling  moonlike.  And  Slyly  mamoumeen's  ladymaid  at  Glads- house  Lodge.  Turn  your  coat,  strong  character,  and  tarry  among us  down  the  vale,  yougander,  only  once  more!  And  may  the  mosse of  prosperousness  gather  you  rolling  home!  May  foggy  dews  be- diamondise  your  hooprings !  May  the  fireplug  of  filiality  reinsure your  bunghole!  May  the  barleywind  behind  glow  luck  to  your bathershins!  Tis  well  we  know  you  were  loth  to  leave  us, winding  your  hobbledehorn,  right  royal  post,  but,  aruah  sure, pulse  of  our  slumber,  dreambookpage,  by  the  grace  of  Votre Dame,  when  the  natural  morning  of  your  nocturne  blankmerges into  the  national  morning  of  golden  sunup  and  Don  Leary  gets his  own  back  from  old  grog  Georges  Quartos  as  that  goodship  the Jonnyjoys  takes  the  wind  from  waterloogged  Erin's  king,  you will  shiff  across  the  Moylendsea  and  round  up  in  your  own escapology  some  canonisator's  day  or  other,  sack  on  back,  alack! digging  snow,  (not  so.'^)  like  the  good  man  you  are,  with  your picture  pockets  turned  knockside  out  in  the  rake  of  the  rain  for fresh  remittances  and  from  that  till  this  in  any  case,  timus  tenant, may  the  tussocks  grow  quickly  under  your  trampthickets  and the  daisies  trip  lightly  over  your  battercops.
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Jaunty  Jaun,  as  I  was  shortly  before  that  made  aware,  next halted  to  fetch  a  breath,  the  first  cothurminous  leg  of  his  night- stride  being  pulled  through,  and  to  loosen  (let  God's  son  now  be looking  down  on  the  poor  preambler!)  both  of  his  bruised brogues  that  were  plainly  made  a  good  bit  before  his  hosen  were, at  the  weir  by  Lazar's  Walk  (for  far  and  wide,  as  large  as  he  was lively,  was  he  noted  for  his  humane  treatment  of  any  kind  of abused  footgear),  a  matter  of  maybe  nine  score  or  so  barrelhours distance  off  as  truly  he  merited  to  do.  He  was  there,  you  could planemetrically  see,  when  I  took  a  closer  look  at  him,  that  was  to say,  (gracious  helpings,  at  this  rate  of  growing  our  cotted  child  of yestereve  will  soon  fill  space  and  burst  in  systems,  so  speeds  the instant!)  amply  altered  for  the  brighter,  though  still  the  graven image  of  his  squarer  self  as  he  was  used  to  be,  perspiring  but happy  notwithstanding  his  foot  was  still  asleep  on  him,  the  way he  thought,  by  the  holy  januarious,  he  had  a  bullock's  hoof  in  his buskin,  with  his  halluxes  so  splendid,  through  Ireland  untran- scended,  bigmouthed  poesther,  propped  up,  restant,  against  a butterblond  warden  of  the  peace,  one  comestabulish  Sigurdsen, (and  where  a  better  than  such  exsearfaceman  to  rest  from  roving the  laddyown  he  bootblacked?)  who,  buried  upright  like  the Osbornes,  kozydozy,  had  tumbled  slumbersomely  on  sleep  at night  duty  behind  the  curing  station,  equilebriated  amid  the embracings  of  a  monopolized  bottle.
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Now,  there  were  as  many  as  twentynine  hedge  daughters  out of  Benent  Saint  Berched's  national  nightschool  (for  they  seemed to  remember  how  it  was  still  a  once-upon-a-four  year)  learning their  antemeridian  lesson  of  life,  under  its  tree,  against  its  warn- ing, beseated,  as  they  were,  upon  the  brinkspondy,  attracted  to the  rarerust  sight  of  the  first  human  yellowstone  landmark  (the bear,  the  boer,  the  king  of  all  boors,  sir  Humphrey  his  knave we  met  on  the  moors !)  while  they  paddled  away,  keeping  time magnetically  with  their  eight  and  fifty  pedalettes,  playing  foolu- fool  jouay  alio  misto  posto,  O  so  jaonickally,  all  barely  in  their typtap  teens,  describing  a  charming  dactylogram  of  nocturnes though  repelled  by  the  snores  of  the  log  who  looked  stuck  to the  sod  as  ever  and  oft,  when  liquefied,  (vil!)  he  murmoaned abasourdly  in  his  Dutchener's  native,  visibly  unmoved,  over  his treasure  trove  for  the  crown:  Doner  dead  bedstead  mean  diggy smuggy  flashy!
Jaun  (after  he  had  in  the  first  place  doffed  a  hat  with  a  rein- forced crown  and  bowed  to  all  the  others  in  that  chorus  of  praise of  goodwill  girls  on  their  best  beehiviour  who  all  they  were  girls all  rushing  sowarmly  for  the  post  as  buzzy  as  sie  could  bie  to  read his  kisshands,  kittering  all  about,  rushing  and  making  a  tremen- dous girlsfuss  over  him  pellmale,  their  jeime  premier  and  his  rosy- posy  smile,  mussing  his  frizzy  hair  and  the  golliwog  curls  of  him, all,  but  that  one;  Finfria*s  fairest,  done  in  loveletters  like  a  trayful of  cloudberry  tartlets  (ain't  they  fine,  mighty,  mighty  fine  and honoured?)  and  smilingly  smelling,  pair  and  pair  about,  broad by  bread  and  slender  to  slimmer,  the  nice  perfumios  that  came cunvy  peeling  off  him  (nice!)  which  was  angelic  simply,  savouring of  wild  thyme  and  parsley  jumbled  with  breadcrumbs  (O  nice!) and  feeling  his  full  fat  pouch  for  him  so  tactily  and  jingaling his  jellybags  for,  though  he  looked  a  young  chapplie  of  sixtine, they  could  frole  by  his  manhood  that  he  was  just  the  killingest ladykiller  all  by  kindness,  now  you,  Jaun,  asking  kindlily  (hillo, missies!)  after  their  howareyous  at  all  with  those  of  their  dolly- begs  (and  where's  Agatha's  lamb?  and  how  are  Bernadetta's columbillas?  and  Juliennaw's  tubberbunnies?  and  Eulalina's
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tuggerfunnies?)  he  next  went  on  (finefeelingfit!)  to  drop  a  few stray  remarks  anent  their  personal  appearances  and  the  contrary tastes  displayed  in  their  tight  kittycasques  and  their  smart  fricky- frockies,  asking  coy  one  after  sloy  one  had  she  read  Irish  legginds and  gently  reproving  one  that  the  ham  of  her  horn  could  be seen  below  her  hem  and  whispering  another  aside,  as  lavariant, that  the  hook  of  her  hum  was  open  a  bittock  at  her  back  to  have a  sideeye  to  that,  hom,  (and  all  of  course  just  to  fill  up  a  form out  of  pure  human  kindness  and  in  a  sprite  of  fun)  for  Jaun,  by the  way,  was  by  the  way  of  becoming  (I  think,  I  hope  he  was) the  most  purely  human  being  that  ever  was  called  man,  loving  all up  and  down  the  whole  creation  from  Sampson's  tyke  to  Jones's sprat  and  from  the  King  of  all  Wrenns  down  to  infuseries)  Jaun, after  those  few  prelimbs  made  out  through  his  eroscope  the apparition  of  his  fond  sister  Izzy  for  he  knowed  his  love  by  her waves  of  splabashing  and  she  showed  him  proof  by  her  way  of blabushing  nor  could  he  forget  her  so  tarnelly  easy  as  all  that since  he  was  brotherbesides  her  benedict  godfather  and  heaven knows  he  thought  the  world  and  his  life  of  her  sweet  heart  could buy,  (brao !)  poor,  good,  true,  Jaun !
—  Sister  dearest,  Jaun  delivered  himself  with  express  cordia- lity, marked  by  clearance  of  diction  and  general  delivery,  as  he began  to  take  leave  of  his  scolastica  at  once  so  as  to  gain  time with  deep  affection,  we  honestly  believe  you  sorely  will  miss  us the  moment  we  exit  yet  we  feel  as  a  martyr  to  the  dischurch  of all  duty  that  it  is  about  time,  by  Great  Harry,  we  would  shove off  to  stray  on  our  long  last  journey  and  not  be  the  load  on  ye. This  is  the  gross  proceeds  of  your  teachings  in  which  we  were raised,  you,  sis,  that  used  to  write  to  us  the  exceeding  nice  letters for  presentation  and  would  be  telling  us  anun  (full  well  do  we wont  to  recall  to  mind)  thy  oldworld  tales  of  homespinning  and derringdo  and  dieobscure  and  daddyho,  these  tales  which  reliter- ately  whisked  off  our  heart  so  narrated  by  thou,  gesweest,  to perfection,  our  pet  pupil  of  the  whole  rhythmetic  class  and  the mainsay  of  our  erigenal  house,  the  time  we  younkers  twain  were fairly  tossing  ourselves  (O  Phoebus!  O  Pollux!)  in  bed,  having
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been  laid  up  with  Castor's  oil  on  the  Parrish's  syrup  (the  night we  will  remember)  for  to  share  our  hard  suite  of  affections  with thee.
I  rise,  O  fair  assemblage!  Andcommincio.  Now  then,  after this  introit  of  exordium,  my  galaxy  girls,  quiproquo  of  directions to  henservants  I  was  asking  his  advice  on  the  strict  T.T.  from Father  Mike,  P.P.,  my  orational  dominican  and  confessor  doctor, C.C.D.D.  (buy  the  birds,  he  was  saying  as  he  yerked  me  under the  ribs  sermon  in  an  offrand  way  and  confidence  petween  peas like  ourselves  in  soandso  many  nuncupiscent  words  about  how  he had  been  confarreating  teat-a-teat  with  two  viragos  intactas  about what  an  awful  life  he  led,  poorish  priced,  uttering  mass  for  a coppall  of  geldings  and  what  a  lawful  day  it  was,  there  and  then, for  a  consommation  with  an  effusion  and  how,  by  all  the  manny larries  ate  pignatties,  how,  hell  in  tunnels,  he'd  marry  me  any old  buckling  time  as  flying  quick  as  he'd  look  at  me)  and  I  am giving  youth  now  again  in  words  of  style  byaway  of  offertory hisand  mikeadvice,  an  it  place  the  person,  as  ere  he  retook  him to  his  cure,  those  verbs  he  said  to  me.  From  above.  The  most eminent  bishop  titular  of  Dubloonik  to  all  his  purtybusses  in Dellabelliney.  Comeallyedimseldamsels,  siddle  down  and  lissle all!  Follow  me  close!  Keep  me  in  view!  Understeady  me  saries! Which  is  to  all  practising  massoeurses  from  a  preaching  freer  and be  a  gentleman  without  a  duster  before  a  parlourmade  with- out a  spitch.  Now.  During  our  brief  apsence  from  this  furtive feugtig  season  adhere  to  as  many  as  probable  of  the  ten  com- mandments touching  purgations  and  indulgences  and  in  the  long run  they  will  prove  for  your  better  guidance  along  your  path  of right  of  way.  Where  the  lisieuse  are  we  and  what's  the  first  sing to  be  sung.'^  Is  it  rubrics,  mandarimus,  pasqualines,  or  verdidads is  in  it,  or  the  bruiselivid  indecores  of  estreme  voyoulence  and, for  the  lover  of  lithurgy,  bekant  or  besant,  where's  the  fate's  to be  wished  for.^  Several  sindays  after  whatsintime.  I'll  sack  that  sick server  the  minute  I  bless  him.  That's  the  mokst  I  can  do  for  his grapce.  Economy  of  movement,  axe  why  said.  I've  a  hopesome's choice  if  I  chouse  of  all  the  sinkts  in  the  colander.  From  the  com-
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mon  for  ignitiousPurpalume  to  the  proper  of  Francisco  Ultramare, last  of  scorchers,  third  of  snows,  in  terrorgammons  howdydos. Here  she's,  is  a  bell,  that's  wares  in  heaven,  virginwhite,  Undetri- gesima,  vikissy  manonna.  Doremon's !  The  same  or  similar  to  be kindly  observed  within  the  affianced  dietcess  of  Gay  OToole and  Gloamy  Gwenn  du  Lake  (Danish  spoken!)  from  Manducare Monday  up  till  farrier's  siesta  in  china  dominos.  Words  taken  in triumph,  my  sweet  assistance,  from  the  sufferant  pen  of  our  joco- sus  inkerman  militant  of  the  reed  behind  the  ear.
Never  miss  your  lostsomewhere  mass  for  the  couple  in  Myles you  butrose  to  brideworship.  Never  hate  mere  pork  which  is  bad for  your  knife  of  a  good  friday.  Never  let  a  hog  of  the  howth trample  underfoot  your  linen  of  Killiney.  Never  play  lady's  game for  the  Lord's  stake.  Never  lose  your  heart  away  till  you  win  his diamond  back.  Make  a  strong  point  of  never  kicking  up  your rumpus  over  the  scroll  end  of  sofas  in  the  Dar  Bey  Coll  Cafeteria by  tootling  risky  apropos  songs  at  commercial  travellers'  smokers for  their  Columbian  nights  entertainments  the  like  of  White  limbs they  never  stop  teasing  or  Minxy  was  a  Manxmaid  when  Murry WOT  a  Man,  And,  by  the  bun,  is  it  you  goes  bisbuiting  His  Esaus and  Cos  and  then  throws  them  bag  in  the  box.'^  Why  the  tin's nearly  empty.  First  thou  shalt  not  smile.  Twice  thou  shalt  not love.  Lust,  thou  shalt  not  commix  idolatry.  Hip  confiners  help compunction.  Never  park  your  brief  stays  in  the  men's  con- venience. Never  clean  your  buttoncups  with  your  dirty  pair  of sassers.  Never  ask  his  first  person  where's  your  quickest  cut  to our  last  place.  Never  let  the  promising  hand  usemake  free  of your  oncemaid  sacral.  The  soft  side  of  the  axe!  A  coil  of  cord,  a colleen  coy,  a  blush  on  a  bush  turned  first  man's  laughter  into wailful  moither.  O  foolish  cuppled!  Ah,  dice's  error!  Never  dip in  the  ern  while  you've  browsers  on  your  suite.  Never  slip  the silver  key  through  your  gate  of  golden  age.  Collide  with  man, collude  with  money.  Ere  you  sail  foreget  my  prize.  Where  you truss  be  circumspicious  and  look  before  you  leak,  dears.  Never christen  medlard  apples  till  a  swithin  is  in  sight.  Wet  your  thistle where  a  weed  is  and  you'll  rue  it,  despyneedis.  Especially  beware
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please  of  being  at  a  party  to  any  demoralizing  home  life.  That saps  a  chap.  Keep  cool  faith  in  the  firm,  have  warm  hoep  in  the house  and  begin  frem  athome  to  be  chary  of  charity.  Where  it is  nobler  in  the  main  to  supper  than  the  boys  and  errors  of  out- rager's  virtue.  Give  back  those  stolen  kisses;  restaure  those  all- cotten  glooves.  Recollect  the  yella  perals  that  all  too  often  beset green  gerils,  Rhidarhoda  and  Daradora,  once  they  gethobby- horsical,  playing  breeches  parts  for  Bessy  Sudlow  in  flesh- coloured  pantos  instead  of  earthing  down  in  the  coalhole  trying to  boil  the  big  gun's  dinner.  Leg-before- Wicked  lags-behind- Wall  where  here  Mr  Whicker  whacked  a  great  fall.  Femora- familla  feeled  it  a  candleliked  but  Hayes,  Conyngham  and  Erobin- son  sware  it's  an  egg.  Forglim  mick  aye!  Stay,  forestand  and tillgive  it!  Remember  the  biter's  bitters  I  shed  the  vigil  I  buried our  Harlotte  Quai  from  poor  Mrs  Mangain's  of  Britain  Court  on the  feast  of  Marie  Maudlin.  Ah,  who  would  wipe  her  weeper  dr^ and  lead  her  to  the  halter.'^  Sold  in  her  heyday,  laid  in  the  straw, bought  for  one  puny  petunia.  Moral:  if  you  can't  point  a  lily  get to  henna  out  of  here !  Put  your  swell  foot  foremost  on  foulardy pneumonia  shertwaists,  irriconcilible  with  true  fiminin  risirvi- tion  and  ribbons  of  lace,  limenick's  disgrace.  Sure,  what  is  it  on  the whole  only  holes  tied  together, the  merest  and  transparent  washing- tones  to  make  Languid  Lola's  lingery  longer.^  Scenta  Clauthes stiffstuffs  your  hose  and  heartsies  full  of  temptiness.  Vanity  flee and  Verity  fear!  Diobell!  Whalebones  and  buskbutts  may  hurt you  (thwackaway  thwuck!)  but  never  lay  bare  your  breast  sec- ret (dickette's  place!)  to  joy  a  Jonas  in  the  Dolphin's  Barncar with  your  meetual  fan,  Doveyed  Covetfilles,  comepulsing  payn- attention  spasms  between  the  averthisment  for  Ulikah's  wine  and a  pair  of  pulldoors  of  the  old  cupiosity  shape.  There  you'll  fix your  eyes  darkled  on  the  autocart  of  the  bringfast  cable  but  here till  youre  martimorphysed  please  sit  still  face  to  face.  For  if  the shorth  of  your  skorth  falls  down  to  his  knees  pray  how  wrong will  he  look  till  he  rises?  Not  before  Gravesend  is  commuted.  But now  reappears  Autist  Algy,  the  pulcherman  and  would-do  per- former, oleas  Mr  Smuth,  stated  by  the  vice  crusaders  to  be  well
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known  to  all  the  dallytaunties  in  and  near  the  ciudad  of  Buellas Arias,  taking  you  to  the  playguehouse  to  see  the  Smirching  of Venus  and  asking  with  whispered  offers  in  a  very  low  bearded voice,  with  a  nice  little  tiny  manner  and  in  a  very  nice  little  tony way,  won't  you  be  an  artist's  moral  and  pose  in  your  nudies  as  a local  esthetic  before  voluble  old  masters,  introducing  you,  left to  right  the  party  comprises,  to  hogarths  like  Bottisilly  and Titteretto  and  Vergognese  and  Coraggio  with  their  extrahand Mazzaccio,  plus  the  usual  bilker's  dozen  of  dowdycameramen. And  the  volses  of  lewd  Buylan,  for  innocence !  And  the  phylli- sophies  of  Bussup  Bulkeley.  O,  the  frecklessness  of  the  giddies nouveautays!  There's  many's  the  icepolled  globetopper  is  haunt- ed by  the  hottest  spot  under  his  equator  like  Ramrod,  the  meaty hunter,  always  jaeger  for  a  thrust.  The  back  beautiful,  the  un- draped  divine!  And  Suzy's  Moedl's  with  their  Blue  Danuboyes! All  blah!  Viper's  vapid  vilest!  Put  off  the  old  man  at  the  very font  and  get  right  on  with  the  nutty  sparker  round  the  back. Slip  your  oval  out  of  touch  and  let  the  paravis  be  your  goal. Up  leather.  Prunella,  convert  your  try!  Stick  wicks  in  your  ear- shells  when  you  hear  the  prompter's  voice.  Look  on  a  boa  in his  beauty  and  you'll  never  more  wear  your  strawberry  leaves. Rely  on  the  relic.  What  bondman  ever  you  bind  on  earth  I'll  be bound  'twas  combined  in  hemel.  Keep  airly  hores  and  the  worm is  yores.  Dress  the  pussy  for  her  nighty  and  follow  her  piggy- tails  up  their  way  to  Winkyland.  See  little  poupeep  she's  firsht ashleep.  After  having  sat  your  poetries  and  you  know  what happens  when  chine  throws  over  jupan.  Go  to  doss  with the  poulterer,  you  understand,  and  shake  up  with  the  milch- mand.  The  Sully  van  vultures  are  on  the  prowl.  And  the hailies  fingringmaries.  Tobaccos  tabu  and  toboggan's  a  back seat.  Secret  satieties  and  onanymous  letters  make  the  great  un- watched  as  bad  as  their  betters.  Don't  on  any  account  acquire a  paunchon  for  that  alltoocommon  fagbutt  habit  of  frequenting and  chumming  together  with  the  braces  of  couples  in  Mr  Tun- nelly's  hallways  (smash  it)  wriggling  with  lowcusses  and  cock- chafers and  vamps  and  rodants,  with  the  end  to  commit  acts  of
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interstipital  indecency  as  between  twineties  and  tapegarters. fingerpats  on  fondlepets,  under  the  couvrefeu  act.  It's  the  thin end;  wedge  your  steps !  Your  high  powered  hefty  hoyden  thinks nothing  of  ramping  through  a  whole  suite  of  smokeless  hus- bands. Three  minutes  Fm  counting  you.  Woooooon.  No  triching now!  Give  me  that  when  I  tell  you!  Raga^a  ladra!  And  is  that any  place  to  be  smuggling  his  madam's  apples  up.'^  Deceitful jade.  Gee  wedge!  Begor,  I  like  the  way  they're  half  cooked. Hold,  flay,  grill,  fire  that  laney  feeling  for  kosenkissing  disgeni- cally  within  the  proscribed  limits  like  Population  Peg  on  a  hint  or twim  clandestinely  does  be  doing  to  Temptation  Tom,  atkings questions  in  barely  and  snakking  svarewords  like  a  nursemagd. While  there's  men-a'war  on  the  say  there'll  be  loves-o'women on  the  do.  Love  through  the  usual  channels,  cisternbrothelly, when  properly  disinfected  and  taken  neat  in  the  generable  way upon  retiring  to  roost  in  the  company  of  a  husband-in-law  or other  respectable  relative  of  an  apposite  sex,  not  love  that  leads by  the  nose  as  I  foresmellt  but  canalised  love,  you  understand, does  a  felon  good,  suspiciously  if  he  has  a  slugger's  liver  but  I cannot  belabour  the  point  too  ardently  (and  after  the  lessions  of experience  I  speak  from  inspiration)  that  fetid  spirits  is  the  thief of  prurities,  so  none  of  your  twenty  rod  cherrywhisks,  me daughter!  At  the  Cat  and  Coney  or  the  Spotted  Dog.  And  at 2bis  Lot's  Road.  When  parties  get  tight  for  each  other  they  lose all  respect  together.  By  the  stench  of  her  fizzle  and  the  glib  of  her gab  know  the  drunken  draggletail  Dublin  drab.  You'll  pay  for each  bally  sorraday  night  every  billing  sumday  morning.  When the  night  is  in  May  and  the  moon  shines  might.  We  won't  meeth in  Navan  till  you  try  to  give  the  Kellsfrieclub  the  goby.  Hill  or hollow,  Hull  or  Hague !  And  beware  how  you  dare  of  wet  cock- tails in  Kildare  or  the  same  may  see  your  wedding  driving  home from  your  wake.  Mades  of  ashens  when  you  flirt  spoil  the  lad but  spare  his  shirt!  Lay  your  lilylike  long  his  shoulder  but  buck back  if  he  buts  bolder  and  just  hep  your  homely  hop  and  heed no  horning  but  if  you've  got  some  brainy  notion  to  raise  cancan and  rouse  commotion  I'll  be  apt  to  flail  that  tail  for  you  till  it's
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horning.  Let  the  love  ladleliked  at  the  eye  girde  your  gastricks in  the  gym.  Nor  must  you  omit  to  screw  the  lid  firmly  on  that jazz  jiggery  and  kick  starts.  Bumping  races  on  the  flat  and  point to  point  over  obstacles.  Ride  wheeling  that  acclivisciously  up windy  Rutland  Rise  and  insighting  rebellious  northers  before  the saunter  of  the  city  of  Dunlob.  Then  breretonbiking  on  the  free with  your  airs  of  go-be-dee  and  your  heels  upon  the  handlebars. Berrboel  brazenness !  No,  before  your  corselage  rib  is  decartilaged, that  is  to  mean  if  you  have  visceral  ptossis,  my  point  is,  making allowances  for  the  fads  of  your  weak  abdominal  wall  and  your liver  asprewl,  vinvin,  vinvin,  or  should  you  feel,  in  shorts,  as though  you  needed  healthy  physicking  exorcise  to  flush  your kidneys,  you  understand,  and  move  that  twelffinger  bowel  and threadworm  inhibitating  it,  lassy,  and  perspire  freely,  lict  your lector  in  the  lobby  and  why  out  you  go  by  the  ostiary  on  to the  dirt  track  and  skip !  Be  a  sportive.  Deal  with  Nature  the  great greengrocer  and  pay  regularly  the  monthlies.  Your  Punt's  Per- fume's only  in  the  hatpinny  shop  beside  the  reek  of  the  rawny. It's  more  important  than  air — I  mean  than  eats — air  (Oop,  I never  open  momouth  but  I  pack  mefood  in  it)  and  promotes  that natural  emotion.  Stamp  out  bad  eggs.  Why  so  many  puddings prove  disappointing,  as  Dietician  says,  in  Creature  Comforts Causeries,  and  why  so  much  soup  is  so  muck  slop.  If  we could  fatten  on  the  elizabeetons  we  wouldn't  have  teeth  like the  hippopotamians.  However.  Likewise  if  I  were  in  your envelope  shirt  I'd  keep  my  weathereye  well  cocked  open  for your  furnished  lodgers  paying  for  their  feed  on  tally  with company  and  piano  tunes.  Only  stuprifying  yourself!  The  too friendly  friend  sort,  Mazourikawitch  or  some  other  sukinsin  of a  vitch,  who  he's  kommen  from  olt  Pannonia  on  this  porpoise whom  sue  stooderin  about  the  maul  and  femurl  artickles  and  who mix  himself  so  at  home  mid  the  musik  and  spanks  the  ivory that  lovely  for  this  your  Mistro  Melosiosus  MacShine  MacShane may  soon  prove  your  undoing  and  bane  through  the  succeeding years  of  rain  should  you,  whilst  Jaun  is  from  home,  get  used  to basking  in  his  loverslowlap,  inordinately  clad,  moustacheteasing,
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when  closehended  together  behind  locked  doors,  kissing  steadily, (malbongusta,  it's  not  the  thing  you  know!)  with  the  calfloving selfseeker,  under  the  influence  of  woman,  inching  up  to  you,  dis- arranging your  modesties  and  fumbling  with  his  forte  paws  in  your bodice  after  your  billy  doos  twy  as  a  first  go  oif  (take  care,  would you  stray  and  split  on  me!)  and  going  on  doing  his  idiot  every time  you  gave  him  his  chance  to  get  thick  and  play  pigglywiggly, making  much  of  you,  bilgetalking  like  a  ditherer,  gougouzoug, about  your  glad  neck  and  the  round  globe  and  the  white  milk  and the  red  raspberries  (O  horrifier !)  and  prying  down  furthermore  to chance  his  lucky  arm  with  his  pregnant  questions  up  to  our  past lives.  What  has  that  caught  to  sing  with  him?  The  next  fling you'll  be  squitting  on  the  Tubber  Nakel,  pouring  pitchers  to  the well  for  old  Gloatsdane's  glorification  and  the  postequities  of the  Black  Watch,  peeping  private  from  the  Bush  and  Rangers. And  our  local  busybody,  talker-go-bragk.  Worse  again!  Ofl"  of that  praying  fan  on  to  them  priars !  It  would  be  a  whorable  state of  affairs  altogether  for  the  redcolumnists  of  presswritten  epics, Peter  Paragraph  and  Paulus  Puff,  (Fm  keepsoaking  them  to  cover my  concerts)  to  get  ahold  of  for  their  balloons  and  shoot  you private  by  surprise,  considering  the  marriage  slump  that's  on  this oil  age  and  pulexes  three  shillings  a  pint  and  wives  at  six  and seven  when  domestic  calamities  belame  par  and  newlaids  bellow mar  for  the  twenty  twotoosent  time  thwealthy  took  thousands in  the  slack  march  of  civilisation  were  you,  becoming  guilty  of unleckylike  intoxication  to  have  and  to  hold,  to  pig  and  to  pay direct  connection,  qua  intervener,  with  a  prominent  married  mem- ber of  the  vicereeking  squad  and,  in  consequence  of  the  therein- under  subpenas,  be  flummoxed  to  the  second  degree  by  becoming  a detestificated  companykeeper  on  the  dammymonde  of  Luca- lamplight.  Anything  but  that,  for  the  fear  and  love  of  gold !  Once and  for  all,  I'll  have  no  college  swankies  (you  see,  I  am  well voiced  in  love's  arsenal  and  all  its  overtures  from  collion  boys to  colleen  bawns  so  I  have  every  reason  to  know  that  rogues' gallery  of  nightbirds  and  bitchfanciers,  lucky  duffs  and  light lindsays,  haughty  hamiltons  and  gay  gordons,  dosed,  doctored
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and  otherwise,  messing  around  skirts  and  what  their  fickling  in- tentions look  like,  you  make  up  your  mind  to  that)  trespassing on  your  danger  zone  in  the  dancer  years.  If  ever  I  catch  you  at  it, mind,  it's  you  that  will  cocottch  it!  Til  tackle  you  to  feel  if  you have  a  few  devils  in  you.  Holy  gun,  I'll  give  it  to  you,  hot,  high and  heavy  before  you  can  say  sedro!  Or  may  the  maledictions of  Lousyfear  fall  like  nettlerash  on  the  white  friar's  father  that converted  from  moonshine  the  fostermother  of  the  first  nancy- free  that  ran  off  after  the  trumpadour  that  mangled  Moore's  melo- dies and  so  upturned  the  tubshead  of  the  stardaft  journal  writer to  inspire  the  prime  finisher  to  fellhim  the  firtree  out  of  which Cooper  Funnymore  planed  the  flat  of  the  beerbarrel  on  which my  grandydad's  lustiest  sat  his  seat  of  unwisdom  with  my  tante's petted  sister  for  the  cause  of  his  joy!  Amene.
Poof!  There's  puff  for  ye,  begor,  and  planxty  of  it,  all  abound me  breadth!  Glor  galore  and  glory  be!  As  broad  as  its  lung  and as  long  as  a  line !  The  valiantine  vaux  of  Venerable  Val  Vous- dem.  If  my  jaws  must  brass  away  like  the  due  drops  on  my  lay. And  the  topnoted  delivery  you'd  expected  be  me  invoice!  Theo Dunnohoo's  warning  from  Daddy  O'Dowd.  Whoo.^  What  I'm wondering  to  myselfwhose  for  there's  a  strong  tendency,  to  put it  mildly,  by  making  me  the  medium.  I  feel  spirts  of  itchery  out- ching  out  from  all  over  me  and  only  for  the  sludgehummer's force  in  my  hand  to  hold  them  the  darkens  alone  knows  what' 11 who'll  be  saying  of  next.  However.  Now,  before  my  upperotic rogister,  something  nice.  Now.^  Dear  Sister,  in  perfect  leave  again  I say  take  a  brokerly  advice  and  keep  it  to  yourself  that  we,  Jaun,  first of  our  name  here  now  make  all  receptacles  of,  free  of  price.  Easy, my  dear,  if  they  tingle  you  either  say  nothing  or  nod.  No  cheeka- cheek  with  chipperchapper,  you  and  your  last  mashboy  and  the padre  in  the  pulpbox  enumerating  you  his  nostrums.  Be  vacillant over  those  vigilant  who  would  leave  you  to  belave  black  on  white. Close  in  for  psychical  hijiniks  as  well  but  fight  shy  of  mugpunters. I'd  burn  the  books  that  grieve  you  and  light  an  allassundrian  bom- pyre  that  would  suffragate  Tome  Plyfire  or  Zolfanerole.  Perousse instate  your  Weekly  Standerd^  our  verile  organ  that  is  ethelred  by  all  ^'^
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pressdom.  Apply  your  five  wits  to  the  four  verilatest.  The  Arsdi- ken's  An  Traitey  on  Miracula  or  Viewed  to  Death  hy  a  Priest Hunter  is  still  first  in  the  field  despite  the  castle  bar,  William Archer's  a  rompan  good  cathalogue  and  he'll  give  you  a  riser  on the  route  to  our  nazional  labronry.  Skim  over  Through  Hell with  the  Papes  (mostly  boys)  by  the  divine  comic  Denti  Alligator (exsponging  your  index)  and  find  a  quip  in  a  quire  arisus  aream from  bastardtitle  to  father)  ohnson.  Swear  aloud  by  pious  fiction the  like  of  Lentil  Lore  by  Carnival  Cullen  or  that  Percy  Wynns of  our  S.  J.  Finn's  or  Pease  in  Plenty  by  the  Curer  of  Wars, licensed  and  censered  by  our  most  picturesque  prelates.  Their Graces  of  Linzen  and  Petitbois,  bishops  of  Hibernites,  licet  ut lebanusj  for  expansion  on  the  promises,  the  two  best  sells  on  the market  this  luckiest  year,  set  up  by  Gill  the  father,  put  out  by  Gill the  son  and  circulating  disimally  at  Gillydehooly's  Cost.  Strike  up a  nodding  acquaintance  for  our  doctrine  with  the  works  of  old Mrs  Trot,  senior,  and  Manoel  Canter,  junior,  and  Loper  de  Figas, nates  maximum.  I  used  to  follow  Mary  Liddlelambe's  flitsy  tales, espicially  with  the  scentaminted  sauce.  Sifted  science  will  do  your arts  good.  Egg  Laid  by  Former  Cock  and  With  Flageolettes  in  Send Fanciesland,  Chiefly  girls.  Trip  over  sacramental  tea  into  the  long lives  of  our  saints  and  saucerdotes,  with  vignettes,  cut  short  into instructual  primers  by  those  in  authority  for  the  bittermint  of  your soughts.  Forfet  not  the  palsied.  Light  a  match  for  poor  old Contrabally  and  send  some  balmoil  for  the  schizmatics.  A  hemd in  need  is  aye  a  friendly  deed.  Remember,  maid,  thou  dust  art powder  but  Cinderella  thou  must  return  (what  are  you  robbing her  sleeve  for,  Ruby.^  And  pull  in  your  tongue,  Polly!).  Cog  that out  of  your  teen  times,  everyone.  The  lad  who  brooks  no breaches  lifts  the  lass  that  toffs  a  tailor.  How  dare  ye  be  laughing out  of  your  mouthshine  at  the  lack  of  that.^  Keep  cool  your  fresh chastity  which  is  far  better  far.  Sooner  than  part  with  that  vesta- lite  emerald  of  the  first  importance,  descended  to  me  by  far  from our  family,  which  you  treasure  up  so  closely  where  extremes meet,  nay,  mozzed  lesmended,  rather  let  the  whole  ekumene universe  belong  to  merry  Hal  and  do  whatever  his  Mary  well
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likes.  When  the  gong  goes  for  hornets-two-nest  marriage  step into  your  harness  and  strip  off  that  nullity  suit.  Faminy,  hold back!  For  the  race  is  to  the  rashest  of,  the  romping,  jomping rushes  of.  Haul  Seton's  down,  black,  green  and  grey,  and  hoist Mikealy's  whey  and  sawdust.  What's  overdressed  if  underclothed.'^ Poposht  forstake  me  knot  where  there's  white  lets  ope.  Whisht! Blesht  she  that  walked  with  good  Jook  Humprey  for  he  made her  happytight.  Go!  You  can  down  all  the  dripping  you  can dumple  to,  and  buffkid  scouse  too  ad  libidinum,  in  these  lassi- tudes if  you've  parents  and  things  to  look  after.  That  was  what stuck  to  the  Comtesse  Cantilene  while  she  was  sticking  out  Mavis Toffeelips  to  feed  her  soprannated  huspals,  and  it  is  henceforth associated  with  her  names.  La  Dreeping!  Die  Droopink!  The  v-^  '  ^"  '^^ inimitable  in  puresuet  of  the  inevitable!  There's  nothing  to  touch it,  we  are  taucht,  unless  she'd  care  for  a  mouthpull  of  white  pud- ding for  the  wish  is  on  her  rose  marine  and  the  lunchlight  in  her eye,  so  when  you  pet  the  rollingpin  write  my  name  on  the  pie. Guard  that  gem.  Sissy,  rich  and  rare,  ses  he.  In  this  cold  old worold  who'll  feel  it?  Hum!  The  jewel  you're  all  so  cracked about  there's  flitty  few  of  them  gets  it  for  there's  nothing  now but  the  sable  stoles  and  a  runabout  to  match  it.  Sing  him  a  ring. Touch  me  low.  And  I'll  lech  ye  so,  my  soandso.  Show  and  show. Show  on  show.  She.  Shoe.  Shone.
Divulge,  sjuddenly  jouted  out  hardworking  Jaun,  kicking the  console  to  his  double  and  braying  aloud  like  Brahaam's  ass,  9t^/^^^r^^ and,  as  his  voixehumanar  swelled  to  great,  clenching  his  manlies, so  highly  strong  was  he,  man,  and  gradually  quite  warming  to her  (there  must  have  been  a  power  of  kinantics  in  that  buel of  gruel  he  gobed  at  bedgo)  divorce  into  me  and  say  the  cur- name  in  undress  (if  you  get  into  trouble  with  a  party  you  are not  likely  to  forget  his  appearance  either)  of  any  lapwhelp  or sleevemongrel  who  talks  to  you  upon  the  road  where  he  tuck you  to  be  a  roller,  O,  (the  goattanned  saxopeeler  upshotdown chigs  peel  of  him!)  and  volunteers  to  trifle  with  your  round- lings  for  profferred  glass  and  dough,  the  marrying  hand  that his  leisure  repents  of,  without  taking  out  his  proper  password
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from  the  eligible  ministriss  for  affairs  with  the  black  fremdling, that  enemy  of  our  country,  in  a  cleanlooking  light  and  I  don't care  a  tongser's  tammany  hang  who  the  mucky  is  nor  twoo hoots  in  the  corner  nor  three  shouts  on  a  hill  (were  he  even a  constantineal  namesuch  of  my  very  own,  Attaboy  Knowling, and  like  enoch  to  my  townmajor  ancestors,  the  two  that  are taking  out  their  divorces  in  the  Spooksbury  courts  circuits, Rere  Uncle  Remus,  the  Baas  of  Eboracum  and  Old  Father Ulissabon  Knickerbocker,  the  lanky  sire  of  Wolverhampton, about  their  bristelings),  but  as  true  as  there's  a  soke  for  sakes  in Twoways  Peterborough  and  sure  as  home  we  come  to  newsky prospect  from  west  the  wave  on  schedule  time  (if  I  came  any quicker  I'll  be  right  back  before  I  left)  from  the  land  of  breach of  promise  with  Brendan's  mantle  whitening  the  Kerribrasilian sea  and  March's  pebbles  spinning  from  beneath  our  footslips  to carry  fire  and  sword,  rest  insured  that  as  we  value  the  very  name in  sister  that  as  soon  as  we  do  possibly  it  will  be  a  poor  lookout for  that  insister.  He's  a  markt  man  from  that  hour.  And  why  do we  say  that,  you  may  query  me?  Quary?  Guess!  Call'st  thou? Think  and  think  and  think,  I  urge  on  you.  Muffed!  The  wrong porridge.  You  are  an  ignoratis!  Because  then  probably  we'll dumb  well  soon  show  him  what  the  Shaun  way  is  like  how  we'll go  a  long  way  towards  breaking  his  outsider's  face  for  him  for making  up  to  you  with  his  bringthee  balm  of  Gaylad  and  his singthee  songs  of  Arupee,  chancetrying  my  ward's  head  into sanctuary  before  feeling  with  his  two  dimensions  for  your  nup- tial dito.  Ohibow,  if  I  was  Blonderboss  I'd  gooandfrighthisdual- man!  Now,  we'll  tell  you  what  we'll  do  to  be  sicker  instead  of compensation.  We'll  he'll  burst  our  his  mouth  like  Leary  to  the Leinsterface  and  reduce  he'll  we'll  ournhisn  liniments  to  a poolp.  Open  the  door  softly,  somebody  wants  you,  dear!  You'll hear  him  calling  you,  bump,  like  a  blizz,  in  the  muezzin  of  the turkest  night.  Come  on  now,  pillarbox!  I'll  stiffen  your  scribeall, broken  reed!  That'll  be  it,  grand  operoar  style,  even  should  I, with  my  sleuts  of  hogpew  and  cheekas,  have  to  coomb  the  brash of  the  libs  round  Close  Saint  Patrice  to  lay  my  louseboob  on  his
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behaitch  like  solitar.  We  are  all  eyes.  I  have  his  quoram  of images  all  on  my  retinue,  Mohomadhawn  Mike.  Brassup !  More- over after  that,  bad  manners  to  me,  if  I  don't  think  strongly  about giving  the  brotherkeeper  into  custody  to  the  first  police  bubby cunstabless  of  Dora's  Diehards  in  the  field  I  might  chance  to  pwuM>= follopon.  Or  for  that  matter,  for  your  information,  if  I  get  the wind  up  what  do  you  bet  in  the  buckets  of  my  wrath  I  mightn't even  take  it  into  my  progromme,  as  sweet  course,  to  do  a  rash  act and  pitch  in  and  swing  for  your  perfect  stranger  in  the  meadow of  heppiness  and  then  wipe  the  street  up  with  the  clonmellian, pending  my  bringing  proceedings  verses  the  joyboy  before  a bunch  of  magistrafes  and  twelve  good  and  gleeful  men?  Filius nullius  per  fas  et  nefas.  It  should  prove  more  or  less  of  an  event and  show  the  widest  federal  in  my  cup.  He'll  have  pansements then  for  his  pensamientos,  howling  for  peace.  Pretty  knocks,  I promise  him  with  plenty  burkes  for  his  shins.  Dumnlimn  wimn humn.  In  which  case  I'll  not  be  complete  in  fighting  lust  until  I contrive  to  half  kill  your  Charley  you're  my  darling  for  you  and send  him  to  Home  Surgeon  Hume,  the  algebrist,  before  his  ap- pointed time,  particularly  should  he  turn  out  to  be  a  man  in  brown about  town,  Rollo  the  Gunger,  son  of  a  wants  a  flurewaltzer  to Arnolff's,  picking  up  ideas,  of  well  over  or  about  fiftysix  or  so, pithecoid  proportions,  with  perhops  five  foot  eight,  the  usual X  Y  Z  type,  R.C.  Toe  H,  nothing  but  claret,  not  in  the  studbook by  a  long  stortch,  with  a  toothbrush  moustache  and  jawcrockeries, alias  grinner  through  collar,  and  of  course  no  beard,  meat  and colmans  suit,  with  tar's  baggy  slacks,  obviously  too  roomy  for him  and  springside  boots,  washing  tie,  Father  Mathew's  bridge pin,  sipping  some  Wheatley's  at  Rhoss's  on  a  barstool,  with  some pubpal  of  the  Olaf  Stout  kidney,  always  trying  to  poorchase  mov- ables by  hebdomedaries  for  to  putt  in  a  new  house  to  loot,  cigarette in  his  holder,  with  a  good  job  and  pension  in  Buinness's,  what about  our  trip  to  Normandy  style  conversation,  with  an  oc- casional they  say  that  filmacoulored  featured  at  the  Mothrapurl skrene  about  Michan  and  his  lost  angeleens  is  corkyshows  do morvaloos,  blueygreen  eyes  a  bit  scummy  developing  a  series  of
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angry  boils  with  certain  references  to  the  Deity,  seeking  relief in  alcohol  and  so  on,  general  omnibus  character  with  a  dash  of railwaybrain,  stale  cough  and  an  occasional  twinge  of  claudication, having  his  favourite  fecundclass  family  of  upwards  of  a  decade, both  barefoot  and  loadenbrogued,  to  boot  and  buy  off,  Imean.
So  let  it  be  a  knuckle  or  an  elbow,  I  hereby  admonish  you! It  may  all  be  topping  fun  but  it's  tip  and  run  and  touch  and  flow for  every  whack  when  Marie  stopes  Phil  fluther's  game  to  go. Arms  arome,  side  aside,  face  into  the  wall.  To  the  tumble  of  the toss  tot  the  trouble  of  the  swaddled,  O.  And  lest  there  be  no misconception.  Miss  Forstowelsy,  over  who  to  fasten  the  plight- forlifer  on  (threehundred  and  thirty  three  to  one  on  Rue  the Day!)  when  the  nice  litde  smellar  squalls  in  his  crydle  what  the dirty  old  bigger*ll  be  squealing  through  his  coughin  you  better keep  in  the  gunbarrel  straight  around  vokseburst  as  I  recommence you  to  (you  gypseyeyed  baggage,  do  you  hear  what  Tm  praying.'^) or,  Gash,  without  butthering  my  head  to  assortail  whose  stroke forced  or  which  struck  backly,  Pll  be  all  over  you  myselx  hori- zontally, as  the  straphanger  said,  for  knocking  me  with  my  name and  yourself  and  your  babybag  down  at  such  a  greet  sacrifice  with a  rap  of  the  gavel  to  a  third  price  cowhandler  as  cheap  as  the  nig- gerd's  dirt  (for  sale !)  or  Fll  smack  your  fruitflavoured  jujube  lips well  for  you,  so  I  will  well  for  you,  if  you  don't  keep  a  civil  tongue in  your  pigeonhouse.  The  pleasures  of  love  lasts  but  a  fleeting  but the  pledges  of  life  outlusts  a  lieftime.  I'll  have  it  in  for  you.  Til teach  you  bed  minners,  tip  for  tap,  to  be  playing  your  oddaugghter tangotricks  with  micky  dazzlers  if  I  find  corsehairs  on  your river-frock  and  the  squirmside  of  your  burberry  lupitally  covered with  chiflchafl*  and  shavings.  Up  Rosemiry  Lean  and  Potanasty Rod  you  wos,  wos  you.'^  I  overstand  you,  you  understand.  Ask- ing Annybettyelsas  to  carry  your  parcels  and  you  dreaming  of net  glory.  You'll  ging  naemaer  wi'Wolf  the  Ganger.  Cutting chapel,  were  you?  and  had  dates  with  slickers  in  particular hotels,  had  we?  Lonely  went  to  play  your  mother,  isod?  You  was wiflriends?  Hay,  dot's  a  doll  yarn!  Mark  mean  then!  I'll  homeseek you,  Luperca  as  sure  as  there's  a  palatine  in  Limerick  and  in
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striped  conference  here's  how.  Nerbu  de  Bios !  If  you  twos  goes to  walk  upon  the  railway,  Gard,  and  I'll  goad  to  beat  behind  the bush!  See  to  it!  Snip!  It's  up  to  you.  I'll  be  hatsnatching  harrier
to  hiding  huries  hinder  hedge.  Snap !  I'll  tear  up  your  limpshades and  lock  all  your  trotters  in  the  closet,  I  will,  and  cut  your  silk- skin  into  garters.  You'll  give  up  your  ask  unbrodhel  ways  when I  make  you  reely  smart.  So  skelp  your  budd  and  kiss  the  hurt! ril  have  plenary  sadisfaction,  plays  the  bishop,  for  your  partial's indulgences  if  your  my  rodeo  gell.  Fair  man  and  foul  suggestion. There's  a  lot  of  lecit  pleasure  coming  bangslanging  your  way. Miss  Pinpernelly  satin.  For  your  own  good,  you  understand,  for the  man  who  lifts  his  pud  to  a  woman  is  saving  the  way  for kindness.  You'll  rebmemer  your  mottob  Aveh  Tiger  Roma mikely  smarter  the  nickst  time.  For  I'll  just  draw  my  prancer and  give  you  one  splitpuck  in  the  crupper,  you  understand,  that will  bring  the  poppy  blush  of  shame  to  your  peony  hindmost  till you  yelp  papapardon  and  radden  your  rhodatantarums  to  the beat  of  calorrubordolor,  I  am,  I  do  and  I  suffer,  (do  you  hear  me now,  lickspoon,  and  stop  looking  at  your  bussycat  bow  in  the slate.'^)  that  you  won't  obliterate  for  the  bulkier  part  of  a  running year,  failing  to  give  a  good  account  of  yourself,  if  you  think  I'm so  tan  cupid  as  all  that.  Lights  out  now  (bouf !),  tight  and  sleep on  it.  And  that's  how  I'll  bottle  your  greedypuss  beautibus  for ye,  me  bullin  heifer,  for  'tis  I  that  have  the  peer  of  arrams  that carry  a  wallop.  Between  them.
Unbeknownst  to  you  would  ire  turn  o'er  see,  a  nuncio  would I  return  here.  How  (from  the  sublime  to  the  ridiculous)  times out  of  oft,  my  future,  shall  we  think  with  deepest  of  love  and recollection  by  rintrospection  of  thee  but  me  far  away  on  the pillow,  breathing  foundly  o'er  my  names  all  through  the  empties, whilst  moidhered  by  the  rattle  of  the  doppeldoorknockers.  Our homerole  poet  to  Ostelinda,  Fred  Wetherly,  puts  it  some  whys better.  You're  sitting  on  me  style,  maybe,  whereoft  I  helped your  ore.  Littlegame  rumilie  from  Liffalidebankum,  (Toobli- queme!)  but  a  big  corner  fill  you  do  in  this  unadulterated  seat  of our  affections.  Aerwenger's  my  breed  so  may  we  uncreepingly
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multipede  like  the  sands  on  Amberhann !  Sevenheavens,  O  heaven! ly  waount  yiou!  yore  ways  to  melittleme  were  wonderful  so Ickam  purseproud  in  sending  uym  loveliest  pansiful  thoughts touching  me  dash  in-you  through  wee  dots  Hyphen,  the  so pretty  arched  godkin  of  beddingnights.  If  Fve  proved  to  your sallysfashion  how  Fm  a  man  of  Armor  let  me  so,  let  me  sue,  let me  see  your  isabellis.  How  I  shall,  should  I  survive,  as,  please  the uniter  of  U.M.I.  hearts,  I  am  living  in  hopes  to  do,  replacing mig  wandering  handsup  in  yawers  so  yeager  for  mitch,  positively cover  the  two  pure  chicks  of  your  comely  plumpchake  with zuccherikissings,  hong,  kong,  and  so  gong,  that  Fd  scare  the  bats out  of  the  ivfry  one  of  those  puggy  mornings,  honestly,  by  my rantandog  and  daddyoak  I  will,  become  come  coming  when, upon  the  mingling  of  our  meeting  waters,  wish  to  wisher,  like massive  mountains  to  part  no  more,  you  will  there  and  then,  in those  happy  moments  of  ouryour  soft  accord,  rainkiss  on  me back,  for  full  marks  with  shouldered  arms,  and  in  that  united LR.U.  stade,  when  I  come  (touf!  touf!)  wildflier*s  fox  into  my own  greengeese  again,  swap  sweetened  smugs,  six  of  one  for  half a  dozen  of  the  other,  till  they'll  bet  we're  the  cuckoo  derby when  cherries  next  come  back  to  Ealing  as  come  they  must,  as they  musted  in  their  past,  as  they  must  for  my  pressing  season, as  hereinafter  must  they  chirrywill  immediately  suant  on  my safe  return  to  ignorance  and  bliss  in  my  horseless  Coppal  Poor, through  suirland  and  noreland,  kings  country  and  queens,  with my  ropes  of  pearls  for  gamey  girls  the  way  ye'll  hardly.  Knowme.
Slim  ye,  come  slum  with  me  and  rally  rats'  roundup!  'Tis post  purification  we  will,  sales  of  work  and  social  service, missus,  completing  our  Abelite  union  by  the  adoptation  of fosterlings.  Embark  for  Euphonia!  Up  Murphy,  Henson  and O'Dwyer,  the  Warchester  Warders!  Fll  put  in  a  shirt  time if  you'll  get  through  your  shift  and  between  us  in  our  shared slaves,  brace  to  brassiere  and  shouter  to  shunter,  we'll  pull  off  our working  programme.  Come  into  the  garden  guild  and  be  free of  the  gape  athome!  We'll  circumcivicise  all  Dublin  country. Let  us,  the  real  Us,  all  ignite  in  our  prepurgatory  grade  as  apos-
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cals  and  be  instrumental  to  utensilise,  help  our  Jakeline  sisters clean  out  the  hogshole  and  generally  ginger  things  up.  Meliorism in  massquan titles,  raffling  receipts  and  sharing  sweepstakes  till navel,  spokes  and  felloes  hum  like  hymn.  Burn  only  what's  Irish, accepting  their  coals.  You  will  soothe  the  cokeblack  bile  that's Anglia's  and  touch  Armourican*s  iron  core.  Write  me  your essayes,  my  vocational  scholars,  but  corsorily,  dipping  your nose  in  it,  for  Henrietta's  sake,  on  mortinatality  in  the  life  of jewries  and  the  sludge  of  King  Haarington's  at  its  height,  running boulevards  over  the  whole  of  it.  I'd  write  it  all  by  mownself  if I  only  had  here  of  my  jolly  young  watermen.  Bear  in  mind,  by Michael,  all  the  provincial's  bananas  peels  and  elacock  eggs  mak- ing drawadust  jubilee  along  Henry,  Moore,  Earl  and  Talbot Streets.  Luke  at  all  the  memmer  manning  he's  dung  for  the  pray of  birds,  our  priest-mayor-king-merchant,  strewing  the  Castle- knock  Road  and  drawing  manure  upon  it  till  the  first  glimpse  of Wales  and  from  Ballses  Breach  Harshoe  up  to  Dumping's  Corner with  the  Mirist  fathers'  brothers  eleven  versus  White  Friars  out on  a  rogation  stag  party.  Compare  them  caponchin  trowlers with  the  Bridge  of  Belches  in  Fairview,  noreast  Dublin's  favourite souwest  wateringplatz  and  ump  as  you  lump  it.  What  do  you mean  by  Jno  Citizen  and  how  do  you  think  of  Jas  Pagan Compost  liffe  in  Dufblin  by  Pierce  Egan  with  the  baugh  in Baughkley  of  Fino  Ralli.  Explain  why  there  is  such  a  number of  orders  of  religion  in  Asea!  Why  such  an  order  number  in preference  to  any  other  number.^  Why  any  number  in  any  order at  all.'^  Now.'^  Where  is  the  greenest  island  off  the  black  coats of  Spaign.^  Overset  into  universal:  I  am  perdrix  and  upon  my pet  ridge.  Oralmus!  Way,  O  way  for  the  autointaxication  of our  town  of  the  Fords  in  a  huddle!  Hailfellow  some  wellmet boneshaker  or,  to  ascertain  the  facts  for  herself,  run  up  your showeryweather  once  and  trust  and  take  the  Drumgondola  tram and,  wearing  the  midlimb  and  vestee  endorsed  by  the  hierarchy fitted  with  ecclastics,  bending  your  steps,  pick  a  trail  and  stand on,  say,  Aston's,  I  advise  you  strongly,  along  quaith  a  copy  of the  Seeds  and  Weeds  Act  when  you  have  procured  one  for  your-
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self  and  take  a  good  longing  gaze  into  any  nearby  shopswindow you  may  select  at  suppose,  let  us  say,  the  hoyth  of  number eleven,  Kane  or  Keogh's,  and  in  the  course  of  about  thirtytwo minutes*  time  proceed  to  turn  aroundabout  on  your  heehills  to- wards the  previous  causeway  and  I  shall  be  very  cruelly  mis- taken indeed  if  you  will  not  be  jushed  astunshed  to  see  how  you will  be  meanwhile  durn  weel  topcoated  with  kakes  of  slush occasioned  by  the  mush  jam  of  the  cross  and  blackwalls  traffic in  transit.  See  Capels  and  then  fly.  Show  me  that  complaint  book here.  Where's  Cowtends  Kateclean,  the  woman  with  the  muckrake.'* When  will  the  W.D.  face  of  our  sow  muckloved  d'lin,  the  Troia of  towns  and  Carmen  of  cities,  crawling  with  mendiants  in  per- forated clothing,  get  its  wellbelavered  white  like  Tpool  and m'chester.^  When's  that  grandnational  goldcapped  dupsydurby houspill  coming  with  its  vomitives  for  our  mothers-in-load  and stretchers  for  their  devitalised  males.'*  I  am  all  of  me  for  freedom of  speed  but  who'll  disasperaguss  Pope's  Avegnue  or  who'll uproose  the  Opian  Way.'*  Who'll  brighton  Brayhowth  and  bait the  Bull  Bailey  and  never  despair  of  Lorcansby.'*  The  rampant royal  commissioners !  'Tis  an  ill  weed  blows  no  poppy  good.  And this  labour's  worthy  of  my  higher.  Oil  for  meed  and  toil  for  feed and  a  walk  with  the  band  for  Job  Loos.  If  I  hope  not  charity  what profiteers  me.^  Nothing!  My  tippers  of  flags  are  knobs  of  hard- shape  for  it  isagrim  tale,  keeping  the  father  of  curls  from  the sport  of  oak.  Do  you  know  what,  liddle  giddles.'*  One  of  those days  I  am  advised  by  the  smiling  voteseeker  who's  now  snoring elued  to  positively  strike  off"  hiking  for  good  and  all  as  I  bldy well  bdly  ought  until  such  temse  as  some  mood  is  made  under privy-sealed  orders  to  get  me  an  increase  of  automoboil  and  foot- wear for  these  poor  discalced  and  a  bourse  from  bon  Somewind  for a  cure  at  Badanuweir  (though  where  it's  going  to  come  from  this time  — )  as  I  sartunly  think  now,  honest  to  John,  for  an  income plexus  that  that's  about  the  sanguine  boundary  limit.  Amean.
Sis  dearest,  Jaun  added,  with  voise  somewhit  murky,  what though  still  high  fa  luting,  as  he  turned  his  dorse  to  her  to  pay court  to  it,  and  ouverleaved  his  booseys  to  give  the  note  and
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score,  phonoscopically  incuriosited  and  melancholic  this  time whiles,  as  on  the  fulmament  he  gaped  in  wulderment,  his  on- saturncast  eyes  in  stellar  attraction  followed  swift  to  an  imagin- ary swellaw,  O,  the  vanity  of  Vanissy!  All  ends  vanishing!  Pur- sonally,  Grog  help  me,  I  am  in  no  violent  hurry.  If  time  enough lost  the  ducks  walking  easy  found  them.  I'll  nose  a  blue  fonx with  any  tristys  blinking  upon  this  earthlight  of  all  them  that pass  by  the  way  of  the  deerdrive,  conconey's  run  or  wilfrid's walk,  but  Fd  turn  back  as  lief  as  not  if  I  could  only  spoonfind the  nippy  girl  of  my  heart's  appointment^  Mona  Vera  Toutou Ipostila,  my  lady  of  Lyons,  to  guide  me  by  gastronomy  under her  safe  conduct.  That's  more  in  my  line.  I'd  ask  no  kinder  of fates  than  to  stay  where  I  am,  with  my  tinny  of  brownie's  tea, under  the  invocation  of  Saint  Jamas  Hanway,  servant  of  Gamp, lapidated,  and  Jacobus  a  Pershawm,  intercissous,  for  my  thuri- fex,  with  Peter  Roche^  that  frind  of  my  boozum,  leaning  on  my cubits,  at  this  passing  moment  by  localoption  in  the  birds'  lodg- ing, me  pheasants  among,  where  I'll  dreamt  that  I'll  dwealth  mid warblers'  walls  when  throstles  and  choughs  to  my  sigh  hiehied, with  me  hares  standing  up  well  and  me  longlugs  dittoes,  where a  maurdering  row,  the  fox!  has  broken  at  the  coward  sight  till well  on  into  the  beausome  of  the  exhaling  night,  pinching  stop- andgo  jewels  out  of  the  hedges  and  catching  dimtop  brilliants on  the  tip  of  my  wagger  but  for  that  owledclock  (fast  cease  to  it !) has  just  gone  twoohoo  the  hour  and  that  yen  breezes  zipping round  by  Drumsally  do  be  devils  to  play  fleurt.  I  could  sit  on  safe side  till  the  bark  of  Saint  Grouseus  for  hoopoe's  hours,  till  heoU's hoerrisings,  laughing  lazy  at  the  sheep's  lightning  and  turn  a  wida- most  ear  dreamily  to  the  drummling  of  snipers,  hearing  the  wire- less harps  of  sweet  old  Aerial  and  the  mails  across  the  nightrives (peepet!  peepet!)  and  whippoor  willy  in  the  woody  (moor  park! moor  park!)  as  peacefed  as  a  philopotamus,  and  crekking  jugs at  the  grenoulls,  leaving  tealeaves  for  the  trout  and  belleeks  for  the wary  till  I'd  followed  through  my  upfielded  neviewscope  the rugaby  moon  cumuliously  godrolling  himself  westasleep  amuckst the  cloudscrums  for  to  watch  how  carefully  my  nocturnal  goose-
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mother  would  lay  her  new  golden  sheegg  for  me  down  under  in the  shy  orient.  What  wouldn't  I  poach  —  the  rent  in  my  river- side, my  otther  shoes,  my  beavery,  honest  I  —  ay,  and  melt  my belt  for  a  dace  feast  of  grannom  with  the  finny  ones,  those  happy greppies  in  their  minnowahaw,  flashing  down  the  swansway, leaps  ahead  of  the  swift  MacEels,  the  big  Gillaroo  redfellows and  the  pursewinded  carpers,  rearin  antis  rood  perches  astench of  me,  or,  when  Td  like  own  company  best,  with  the  help  of  a norange  and  bear,  to  be  reclined  by  the  lasher  on  my  logansome, my  g.b.d.  in  my  f.a.c.e.,  solfanelly  in  my  shellyholders  and  lov'd latakia,  the  benuvolent,  for  my  nosethrills,  with  the  jealosomines wilting  away  to  their  heart's  deelight  and  the  king  of  saptimber letting  down  his  humely  odours  for  my  consternation,  dapping my  griffeen,  burning  water  in  the  spearlight  or  catching  trophies of  the  king's  royal  college  of  sturgeone  by  the  armful  for  to  bake pike  and  pie  while,  O  twined  me  abower  in  L'Alouette's  Tower, all  Adelaide's  naughtingerls  juckjucking  benighth  me,  I'd  ga- mut my  twittynice  Dorian  blackbudds  chthonic  solphia  off  my singasongapiccolo  to  pipe  musicall  airs  on  numberous  fairy- aciodes.  I  give,  a  king,  to  me,  she  does,  alone,  up  there,  yes  see, I  double  give,  till  the  spinney  all  eclosed  asong  with  them.  Isn't that  lovely  though.'^  I  give  to  me  alone  I  trouble  give!  I  may  have no  mind  to  lamagnage  the  forte  bits  like  the  pianage  but  you can't  cadge  me  off  the  key.  I've  a  voicical  lilt  too  true.  Nomario ! And  bemoUy  and  jiesis !  For  I  sport  a  whatyoumacormack  in  the latcher  part  of  my  throughers.  And  the  lark  that  I  let  fly  (olala!) is  as  cockful  of  funantics  as  it's  tune  to  my  fork.  Naturale  you might  lower  register  me  as  diserecordant,  but  I'm  athlone  in  the lillabilling  of  killarnies.  That's  flat.  Yet  ware  the  wold,  you! What's  good  for  the  gorse  is  a  goad  for  the  garden.  Lethals  lurk heimlocked  in  logans.  Loathe  laburnums.  Dash  the  gaudy  death- cup!  Bryony  O'Bryony,  thy  name  is  Belladama!  But  enough  of greenwood's  gossip.  Birdsnests  is  birdsnests.  Thine  to  wait  but mine  to  wage.  And  now  play  sharp  to  me.  Doublefirst  I'll  head foremost  through  all  my  examhoops.  And  what  sensitive  coin I'd  be  possessed  of  at  Latouche's,  begor,  I'd  sink  it  sumtotal,  every
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dolly  farting,  in  vestments  of  subdominal  poteen  at  prime  cost and  I  bait  you  my  chancey  oldcoat  against  the  whole  ounce  you half  on  your  backboard  (if  madamaud  strips  mesdamines  may cold  strafe  illglandsl)  that  I'm  the  gogetter  that'd  make  it  pay  like cash  registers  as  sure  as  there's  a  pot  on  a  pole.  And,  what  with  one man's  fish  and  a  dozen  men's  poissons,  sowing  my  wild  plums  to reap  ripe  plentihorns  mead,  lashings  of  erbole  and  hydromel  and bragget,  I'd  come  out  with  my  magic  fluke  in  close  time,  fair, free  and  frolicky,  zooming  tophole  on  the  mart  as  a  factor.  And I  tell  you  the  Bective's  wouldn't  hold  me.  By  the  unsleeping Solman  Annadromus,  ye  god  of  little  pescies,  nothing  would stop  me  for  mony  makes  multimony  like  the  brogues  and  the kishes.  Not  the  Ulster  Rifles  and  the  Cork  Milice  and  the  Dublin Fusees  and  Connacht  Rangers  ensembled!  I'd  axe  the  channon and  leip  a  lifFey  and  drink  annyblack  water  that  rann  onme  way. Yip!  How's  thats  for  scats,  mine  shatz,  for  a  lovebird.^  To  funk  is only  peternatural  its  daring  feers  divine.  Beboldl  Like  Varian's balaying  all  behind  me.  And  before  you  knew  where  you weren't,  I  stake  my  ignitial's  divy,  cash-and-cash-can-again,  I'd be  staggering  humanity  and  loyally  rolling  you  over,  my  sow- white  sponse,  in  my  tons  of  red  clover,  nighty  nigh  to  the  metro- nome, fiehigh  and  fiehigher  and  fiehighest  of  all.  Holy  petter  and pal,  I'd  spoil  you  altogether,  my  sumptuous  Sheila!  Mumm  all to  do  brut  frull  up  fizz  and  unpop  a  few  shortusians  or  shake  a pale  of  sparkling  ice,  hear  it  swirl,  happy  girl !  Not  a  spot  of  my hide  but  you'd  love  to  seek  and  scanagain !  There'd  be  no  stand- ing me,  I  tell  you.  And,  as  gameboy  as  my  pagan  name  K.C.  is what  it  is,  I'd  never  say  let  fly  till  we  shot  that  blissup  and swumped  each  other,  manawife,  into  our  sever  nevers  where  I'd plant  you,  my  Gizzygay,  on  the  electric  ottoman  in  the  lap  of lechery,  simpringly  stitchless  with  admiracion,  among  the  most uxuriously  furnished  compartments,  with  sybarate  chambers,  just as  I'd  run  my  shoestring  into  near  a  million  or  so  of  them  as  a firstclass  dealer  and  everything.  Only  for  one  thing  that,  how- over  famiksed  I  would  become,  I'd  be  awful  anxious,  you  under- stand, about  shoepisser  pluvious  and  in  assideration  of  the  terrible
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luftsucks  woabling  around  with  the  hedrolics  in  the  coold  amstop- here  till  the  borting  that  would  perish  the  Dane  and  his  chapter of  accidents  to  be  atramental  to  the  better  half  of  my  alltoolyrical health,  not  considering  my  capsflap,  and  that's  the  truth  now  out of  the  cackling  bag  for  truly  sure,  for  another  thing,  I  never  could tell  the  leest  falsehood  that  would  truthfully  give  sotisfiction.  Fm not  talking  apple  sauce  eithou.  Or  up  in  my  hat.  I  earnst.  Schue!
Sissibis  dearest,  as  I  was  reading  to  myself  not  very  long  ago in  Tennis  Flonnels  Mac  Courther,  his  correspondance,  besated upon  my  tripos,  and  just  thinking  like  thauthor  how  long  I'd  like myself  to  be  continued  at  Hothelizod,  peeking  into  the  focus  and pecking  at  thumbnail  reveries,  pricking  up  ears  to  my  phono  on the  ground  and  picking  up  airs  from  th'other  over  th'ether,  'tis tramsported  with  grief  I  am  this  night  sublime,  as  you  may  see by  my  size  and  my  brow  that's  all  forehead,  to  go  forth,  frank and  hoppy,  to  the  tune  the  old  plow  tied  off,  from  our  nostorey house,  upon  this  benedictine  errand  but  it  is  historically  the  most glorious  mission,  secret  or  profund,  through  all  the  annals  of  our —  as  you  so  often  term  her  —  efferfreshpainted  livy,  in  beautific repose,  upon  the  silence  of  the  dead,  from  pharoph  the  nextfirst down  to  ramescheckles  the  last  bust  thing.  The  Vico  road  goes round  and  round  to  meet  where  terms  begin.  Still  onappealed to  by  the  cycles  and  unappalled  by  the  recoursers  we  feel  all serene,  never  you  fret,  as  regards  our  dutyful  cask.  Full  of  my breadth  from  pride  I  am  (breezed  be  the  healthy  same!)  for  'tis  a grand  thing  (superb !)  to  be  going  to  meet  a  king,  not  an  e very- night  king,  nenni,  by  gannies,  but  the  overking  of  Hither-on- Thither  Erin  himself,  pardee,  I'm  saying.  Before  there  was  patch at  all  on  Ireland  there  lived  a  lord  at  Lucan.  We  only  wish everyone  was  as  sure  of  anything  in  this  watery  world  as  we  are of  everything  in  the  newlywet  fellow  that's  bound  to  follow.  I'll lay  you  a  guinea  for  a  hayseed  now.  Tell  mother  that.  And  tell her  tell  her  old  one.  'Twill  amuse  her.
Well,  to  the  figends  of  Annanmeses  with  the  wholeabuelish business!  For  I  declare  to  Jeshuam  I'm  beginning  to  get  sunsick! I'm  not  half  Norawain  for  nothing.  The  fine  ice  so  temperate
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of  our,  alas,  those  times  are  not  so  far  off  as  you  might  wish  to be  congealed.  So  now,  Fll  ask  of  you,  let  ye  create  no  scenes  in my  poor  primmafore's  wake.  I  don't  want  yous  to  be  billow- fighting  your  biddy  moriarty  duels,  gobble  gabble,  over  me  till you  spit  stout,  you  understand,  after  soused  mackerel,  sniffling clambake  to  hering  and  impudent  barney,  braggart  of  blarney, nor  you  ugly  lemoncholic  gobs  o'er  the  hobs  in  a  sewing  circle, stopping  oddments  in  maids'  costumes  at  sweeping  reductions, wearing  out  your  ohs  by  sitting  around  your  ahs,  making  areek- eransy  round  where  I  last  put  it,  with  the  painters  in  too, curse  luck,  with  your  rags  up,  exciting  your  mucuses,  turning breakfarts  into  lost  soupirs  and  salon  thay  nor  you  flabbies  on your  groaning  chairs  over  Bollivar's  troubles  of  a  bluemoondag, steamin  your  damp  ossicles,  praying  Holy  Prohibition  and  Jaun Dyspeptist  while  Ole  Clo  goes  through  the  wood  with  Shep togather,  touting  in  the  chesnut  burrs  for  Goodboy  Sommers and  Mistral  Blownowse  hugs  his  kindlings  when  voiceyversy it's  my  gala  bene  fit,  robbing  leaves  out  of  my  taletold  book. May  my  tunc  fester  if  ever  I  see  such  a  miry  lot  of  maggalenes! Once  upon  a  drunk  and  a  fairly  good  drunk  it  was  and  the  rest of  your  blatherumskite  1  Just  a  plain  shays  by  the  fire  for  absent- er  Sh  the  Po  and  I'll  make  ye  all  an  eastern  hummingsphere  of myself  the  moment  that  you  name  the  way.  Look  in  the  slag scuttle  and  you'll  see  me  sailspread  over  the  singing,  and  what do  ye  want  trippings  for  when  you've  Paris  inspire  your  hat.^ Sussumcordials  all  round,  let  ye  alloyiss  and  ominies,  while  I stray  and  let  ye  not  be  getting  grief  out  of  it,  though  blighted troth  be  all  bereft,  on  my  poor  headsake,  even  should  we  forfeit our  life.  Lo,  improving  ages  wait  ye !  In  the  orchard  of  the  bones. Some  time  very  presently  now  when  yon  clouds  are  dissipated after  their  forty  years  shower,  the  odds  are,  we  shall  all  be  hooked and  happy,  communionistically,  among  the  fieldnights  eliceam, elite  of  the  elect,  in  the  land  of  lost  of  time.  Johannisburg's  a  re- velation! Deck  the  diamants  that  never  die!  So  cut  out  the  lone- some stuff!  Drink  it  up,  ladies,  please,  as  smart  as  you  can  lower it!  Out  with  lent!  Clap  hands  postilium!  Fastintide  is  by.  Your
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sole  and  myopper  must  hereupon  part  company.  So  for  e'er  fare thee  welt!  Parting's  fun.  Take  thou,  the  wringle's  thine,  love. This  dime  doth  trost  thee  from  mine  alms.  Goodbye,  swisstart, goodbye!  Haugh!  Haugh!  Sure,  treasures,  a  letterman  does  be often  thought  reading  ye  between  lines  that  do  have  no  sense  at all.  I  sign  myself.  With  much  leg.  Inflexibly  yours.  Ann  Posht the  Shorn.  To  be  continued.  Huck!
Something  of  a  sidesplitting  nature  must  have  occurred  to westminstrel  Jaunathaun  for  a  grand  big  blossy  hearty  stenor- ious  laugh  (even  Drudge  that  lay  doggo  thought  feathers  fell) hopped  out  of  his  woolly's  throat  like  a  ball  lifted  over  the head  of  a  deep  field,  at  the  bare  thought  of  how  jolly  they'd  like to  be  trolling  his  whoop  and  all  of  them  truetotypes  in  missam- men  massness  were  just  starting  to  spladher  splodher  with  the jolly  magorios,  hicky  hecky  hock,  huges  huges  huges,  hughy hughy  hughy,  O  Jaun,  so  jokable  and  so  geepy,  O,  (Thou  pure! Our  virgin!  Thou  holy!  Our  health!  Thou  strong!  Our  victory! O  salutary!  Sustain  our  firm  solitude,  thou  who  thou  well strokest!  Hear,  hairy  ones!  We  have  sued  thee  but  late.  Beauty parlous!)  when  suddenly  (how  like  a  woman!),  swifter  as  mer- cury he  wheels  right  round  starnly  on  the  Rizzies  suddenly,  with his  gimlets  blazing  rather  sternish  (how  black  like  thunder!),  to see  what's  loose.  So  they  stood  still  and  wondered.  Till  first  he sighed  (and  how  ill  soufered!)  and  they  nearly  cried  (the  salt  of the  earth!)  after  which  he  pondered  and  finally  he  replied:
—  There  is  some  thing  more.  A  word  apparting  and  shall  the heart's  tone  be  silent.  Engagements,  I'll  beseal  you!  Fare  thee well,  fairy  well!  All  I  can  tell  you  is  this,  my  sorellies.  It's  prayers in  layers  all  the  thumping  time,  begor,  the  young  gloria's  gang voices  the  old  doxologers,  in  the  suburrs  of  the  heavenly  gardens, once  we  shall  have  passed,  after  surceases,  all  serene  through neck  and  necklike  Derby  and  June  to  our  snug  eternal  retribu- tion's reward  (the  scorchhouse).  Shunt  us!  shunt  us!  shunt  us! If  you  want  to  be  felixed  come  and  be  parked.  Sacred  ease  there! The  seanad  and  pobbel  queue's  remainder.  To  it,  to  it!  Seekit headup!  No  petty  family  squabbles  Up  There  nor  homemade
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hurricanes  in  our  Cohortyard,  no  cupahurling  nor  apuckalips nor  no  puncheon  jodelling  nor  no  nothing.  With  the  Byrns which  is  far  better  and  eve  for  ever  your  idle  be.  You  will  hardly reconnoitre  the  old  wife  in  the  new  bustle  and  the  farmer  shinner in  his  latterday  paint.  It's  the  fulldress  Toussaint's  wakeswalks experdition  after  a  bail  motion  from  the  chamber  of  horrus. Saffron  buns  or  sovran  bonhams  whichever  you'r  avider  to  like it  and  lump  it,  but  give  it  a  name.  lereny  allover  irelands.  And there's  food  for  refection  when  the  whole  flock's  at  home.  Hog- manny  di'yegut.'^  Hogmanny  di'yesmellygut.''  And  hogmanny di'yesmellyspatterygut?  You  take  Joe  Hanny's  tip  for  it!  Post- martem is  the  goods.  With  Jollification  a  tight  second.  Toborrow  \^  (  C
and  toburrow  and  tobarrow!  That's  our  crass,  hairy  and  ever- f^f/u.^f*grim  life,  till  one  finel  howdiedow  Bouncer  Naster  raps  on  the bell  with  a  bone  and  his  stinkers  stank  behind  him  with  the sceptre  and  the  hourglass.  We  may  come,  touch  and  go,  from atoms  and  ifs  but  we're  presurely  destined  to  be  odd's  without ends.  Here  we  moult  in  Moy  Kain  and  flop  on  the  seemy  side, living  sure  of  hardly  a  doorstep  for  a  stopgap,  with  Whogoes- there  and  a  live  sandbag  round  the  corner.  But  upmeyant,  Pro- spector, you  sprout  all  your  abel  and  woof  your  wings  dead certain  however  of  neuthing  whatever  to  aye  forever  while Hyam  Hyam's  in  the  chair.  Ah,  sure,  pleasantries  aside,  in  the  tail of  the  cow  what  a  humpty  daum  earth  looks  our  miseryme  here- today  as  compared  beside  the  Hereweareagain  Gaieties  of  the Afterpiece  when  the  Royal  Revolver  of  these  real  globoes  lets regally  fire  of  his  mio  colpo  for  the  chrisman's  pandemon  to  give over  and  the  Harlequinade  to  begin  properly  SPQueaRking Mark  Time's  Finist  Joke.  Putting  Allspace  in  a  Notshall.
Well,  the  slice  and  veg  joint's  well  in  its  way,  and  so  is  a ribroast  and  jackknife  as  sporten  dish,  but  home  cooking  every- time.  Mountains  good  mustard  and,  with  the  helpings  of  ladies' lickfings  and  gentlemen's  relish,  I've  eaten  a  griddle.  But  I  fill twice  as  stewhard  what  I  felt  before  when  I'm  after  eating  a  few natives.  The  crisp  of  the  crackling  is  in  the  chawing.  Give  us  an- other cup  of  your  scald.  Santos  Mozos!  That  was  a  damn  good
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cup  of  scald !  You  could  trot  a  mouse  on  it.  I  ingoyed  your  pick of  hissing  hot  luncheon  fine,  I  did,  thanks  awfully,  (sublime!). Tenderest  bully  ever  I  ate  with  the  boiled  protestants  (allinoilia allinoilia!)  only  for  your  peas  again  was  a  taste  tooth  psalty  to carry  flavour  with  my  godown  and  hereby  return  with  my  best savioury  condiments  and  a  penny  in  the  plate  for  the  jemes. O.K.  Oh  Kosmos!  Ah  Ireland!  A.I.  And  for  kailkannonkabbis gimme  Cincinnatis  with  Italian  (but  ci  vuol poco !)  ciccalick  cheese. Haggis  good,  haggis  strong,  haggis  never  say  die!  For  quid  we have  recipimus,  recipe,  O  lout !  And  save  that,  Oliviero,  for  thy sunny  day!  Soupmeagre!  Couldn't  look  at  it!  But  if  you'll  buy  me yon  coat  of  the  vairy  furry  best,  I'll  try  and  pullll  it  awn  mee.  It's  in fairly  good  order  and  no  doubt  'twill  sarve  to  turn.  Remove  this boardcloth!  Next  stage,  tell  the  tabler,  for  a  variety  of  Hugue- not ligooms  I'll  try  my  set  on  edges  grapeling  an  aigrydoucks, grilled  over  birchenrods,  with  a  few  bloomancowls  in  albies. I  want  to  get  outside  monasticism.  Mass  and  meat  mar  no  man's journey.  Eat  a  missal  lest.  Nuts  for  the  nerves,  a  flitch  for  the  flue and  for  to  rejoice  the  chambers  of  the  heart  the  spirits  of  the spice  isles,  curry  and  cinnamon,  chutney  and  cloves.  All  the  vital- mines  is  beginning  to  sozzle  in  chewn  and  the  hormonies  to clingleclangle,  fudgem,  kates  and  caps  and  naboc  and  erics  and oinnos  on  kingclud  and  xoxxoxo  and  xooxox  xxoxoxxoxxx  till I'm  fustfed  like  fungstif  and  very  presently  from  now  posthaste it's  off"  yourll  see  me  ryuoll  on  my  usual  rounds  again  to  draw Terminus  Lower  and  Killadown  and  Letternoosh,  Letterspeak, Lettermuck  to  Littorananima  and  the  roomiest  house  even  in Ireland,  if  you  can  understamp  that,  and  my  next  item's  platform it's  how  I'll  try  and  collect  my  extraprofessional  postages  owing to  me  by  Thaddeus  Kellyesque  Squire,  dr,  for  nondesirable printed  matter.  The  Jooks  and  the  Kelly-Cooks  have  been milking  turnkeys  and  sucking  the  blood  out  of  the  marshalsea since  the  act  of  First  Offenders.  But  I  know  what  I'll  do.  Great pains  off"  him  I'll  take  and  that'll  be  your  redletterday  calendar, window  machree!  I'll  knock  it  out  of  him!  I'll  stump  it  out  of him!  I'll  rattattatter  it  out  of  him  before  I'll  quit  the  doorstep  of
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old  Con  Connolly's  residence!  By  the  horn  of  twenty  of  both  of the  two  Saint  Collopys,  blackmail  him  I  will  in  arrears  or  my name's  not  penitent  Ferdinand!  And  it's  daily  and  hourly  Fll nurse  him  till  he  pays  me  fine  fee.  Ameal.
Well,  here's  looking  at  ye!  If  I  never  leave  you  biddies  till my  stave  is  a  bar  I'd  be  tempted  rigidly  to  become  a  passionate father.  Me  hunger's  weighed.  Hungkung!  Me  anger's  suaged! Hangkang!  Ye  can  stop  as  ye  are,  little  lay  mothers,  and  wait  in wish  and  wish  in  vain  till  the  grame  reaper  draws  nigh,  with the  sickle  of  the  sickles,  as  a  blessing  in  disguise.  Devil  a  curly hair  I  care!  If  any  lightfoot  Clod  Dewvale  was  to  hold  me  up, dicksturping  me  and  marauding  me  of  my  rights  to  my  onus,  yan, tyan,  tethera,  methera,  pimp,  I'd  let  him  have  my  best  pair  of galloper's  heels  in  the  creamsourer.  He  will  have  better  manners, I'm  dished  if  he  won't!  Console  yourself,  drawhure  deelish! There's  a  refond  of  eggsized  coming  to  you  out  of  me  so  mind you  do  me  duty  on  me!  Bruise  your  bulge  below  the  belt  till  I blewblack  beside  you.  And  you'll  miss  me  more  as  the  narrowing weeks  wing  by.  Someday  duly,  oneday  truly,  twosday  newly, till  whensday.  Look  for  me  always  at  my  west  and  I  will  think to  dine.  A  tear  or  two  in  time  is  all  there's  toot.  And  then  in  a click  of  the  clock,  toot  toot,  and  doff  doff  we  pop  with  sinnerettes in  silkettes  lining  longroutes  for  His  Diligence  Majesty,  our longdistance  laird  that  likes  creation.  To  whoosh!
—  Meesh,  meesh,  yes,  pet.  We  were  too  happy.  I  knew  some- thing would  happen.  I  understand  but  listen,  drawher  nearest. Tizzy  intercepted,  flushing  but  flashing  from  her  dove  and  dart eyes  as  she  tactilifully  graphed  her  male  corrispondee  to  flusther sweet  nunsongs  in  his  quickturned  ear,  I  know,  benjamin  brother, but  listen,  I  want,  girls  palmassing,  to  whisper  my  whish.  (She like  them  like  us,  me  and  you,  had  thoud  he  n'er  it  would  haltin  so lithe  when  leased  is  tacitempust  tongue).  Of  course,  engine  dear, I'm  ashamed  for  my  life  (I  must  clear  my  throttle)  over  this  lost moment's  gift  of  memento  nosepaper  which  I'm  sorry,  my precious,  is  allathome  I  with  grief  can  call  my  own  but  all  the same,  listen,  Jaunick,  accept  this  witwee's  mite,  though  a  jenny-
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teeny  witween  piece  torn  in  one  place  from  my  hands  in  second place  of  a  linenhall  Valentino  with  my  fondest  and  much  left  to tutor.  X.X.X.X.  It  was  heavily  bulledicted  for  young  Fr  Ml, my  pettest  parriage  priest,  and  you  know  who  between  us  by your  friend  the  pope,  forty  ways  in  forty  nights,  that's  the beauty  of  it,  look,  scene  it,  ratty.  Too  perfectly  priceless  for words.  And,  listen,  now  do  enhance  me,  oblige  my  fiancy  and bear  it  with  you  morn  till  life's  e'en  and,  of  course,  when  never you  make  usage  of  it,  listen,  please  kindly  think  galways  again or  again,  never  forget,  of  one  absendee  not  sester  Maggy.  Ahim. That's  the  stupidest  little  cough.  Only  be  sure  you  don't  catch  your cold  and  pass  it  on  to  us.  And,  since  levret  bounds  and  larks  is soaring,  don't  be  all  the  night.  And  this.  Joke,  a  sprig  of  blue speedwell  just  a  spell  of  floralora  so  you'll  mind  your  veronique. Of  course,  Jer,  I  know  you  know  who  sends  it,  presents  that please,  mercy,  on  the  face  of  the  waters  like  that  film  obote, awfly  charmig  of  course,  but  it  doesn't  do  her  justice,  apart  from her  cattiness,  in  the  magginbottle.  Of  course,  please  too  write, won't  you,  and  leave  your  little  bag  of  doubts,  inquisitive,  be- hind you  unto  your  utterly  thine,  and,  thank  you,  forward  it back  by  return  pigeon's  pneu  to  the  loving  in  case  I  couldn't think  who  it  was  or  any  funforall  happens  I'll  be  so  curiose  to see  in  the  Homesworth  breakfast  tablotts  as  I'll  know  etherways by  pity  bleu  if  it's  good  for  my  system,  what  exquisite  buttons, gorgiose,  in  case  I  don't  hope  to  soon  hear  from  you.  And  thanks ever  so  many  for  the  ten  and  the  one  with  nothing  at  all  on.  I  will tie  a  knot  in  my  stringamejip  to  letter  you  with  ray  silky  paper, as  I  am  given  now  to  understand  it  will  be  worth  my  price  in money  one  day  so  don't  trouble  to  ans  unless  sentby  special  as I  am  getting  his  pay  and  wants  for  nothing  so  I  can  live  simply and  solely  for  my  wonderful  kinkless  and  its  loops  of  loveliness. When  I  throw  away  my  rollets  there's  rings  for  all.  Flee  a  girl, says  it  is  her  colour.  So  does  B  and  L  and  as  for  V!  And  listen to  it!  Cheveluir!  So  distant  you're  always.  Bow  your  boche! Absolutely  perfect!  I  will  pack  my  comb  and  mirror  to  praxis oval  owes  and  artless  awes  and  it  will  follow  you  pulpicly
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as  far  as  come  back  under  all  my  eyes  like  my  sapphire  chap- lets  of  ringarosary  I  will  say  for  you  to  the  Allmichael  and solve  qui  pu  while  the  dovedoves  pick  my  mouthbuds  (msch! msch!)  with  nurse  Madge,  my  linkingclass  girl,  she's  a  fright, poor  old  dutch,  in  her  sleeptalking  when  I  paint  the  measles on  her  and  mudstuskers  to  make  her  a  man.  We.  We.  Issy done  that,  I  confesh!  But  you'll  love  her  for  her  hessians and  sickly  black  stockies,  cleryng's  jumbles,  salvadged  from the  wash,  isn't  it  the  cat's  tonsils!  Simply  killing,  how  she tidies  her  hair!  I  call  her  Sosy  because  she's  sosiety  for  me and  she  says  sossy  while  I  say  sassy  and  she  says  will you  have  some  more  scorns  while  I  say  won't  you  take  a  few more  schools  and  she  talks  about  ithel  dear  while  I  simply never  talk  about  athel  darling;  she's  but  nice  for  enticing  my friends  and  she  loves  your  style  considering  she  breaksin  me shoes  for  me  when  I've  arch  trouble  and  she  would  kiss  my white  arms  for  me  so  gratefully  but  apart  from  that  she's terribly  nice  really,  my  sister,  round  the  elbow  of  Erne  street Lower  and  I'll  be  strictly  forbidden  always  and  true  in  my  own way  and  private  where  I  will  long  long  to  betrue  you  along  with one  who  will  so  betrue  you  that  not  once  while  I  betreu  him  not once  well  he  be  betray  himself.  Can't  you  understand.'^  O  bother, I  must  tell  the  trouth!  My  latest  lad's  loveliletter  I  am  sore  I  done something  with.  I  like  him  lots  coss  he  never  cusses.  Pity  bon- hom.  Pip  pet.  I  shouldn't  say  he's  pretty  but  I'm  cocksure  he's shy.  Why  I  love  taking  him  out  when  I  unletched  his  cordon gate.  Ope,  Jack,  and  atem!  Obealbe  myodorers  and  he  dote  so. He  fell  for  my  lips,  for  my  lisp,  for  my  lewd  speaker.  I  felt  for his  strength,  his  manhood,  his  do  you  mind.'^  There  can  be  no candle  to  hold  to  it,  can  there .'^  And,  of  course,  dear  professor,  I understand.  You  can  trust  me  that  thdtigh  I  change  thy  name though  not  the  letter  never  while  I  become  engaged  with  my first  horsepower,  masterthief  of  hearts,  I  will  give  your  lovely face  of  mine  away,  my  boyish  bob,  not  for  tons  of  donkeys,  to my  second  mate,  with  the  twirlers  the  engineer  of  the  passio- flower  (O  the  wicked  untruth!  whot  a  tell!  that  he  has  bought
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me  in  his  Wellingtons  what  you  haven't  got!),  in  one  of  those pure  clean  lupstucks  of  yours  thankfully,  Arrah  of  the  passkeys, no  matter  what.  You  may  be  certain  of  that,  fluff,  now  I  know how  to  tackle.  Lock  my  mearest  next  myself.  So  don't  keep  me now  for  a  good  boy  for  the  love  of  my  fragrant  saint,  you  villain, peppering  with  fear,  my  goodless  graceless,  or  Til  first  murder you  but,  hvisper,  meet  me  after  by  next  appointment  near  you know  Ships  just  there  beside  the  Ship  at  the  future  poor  fool's circuts  of  lovemountjoy  square  to  show  my  disrespects  now,  let me  just  your  Caroline  for  you,  I  must  really  so  late.  Sweet  pig, he'll  be  furious!  How  he  stalks  to  simself  louther  and  lover, immutating  aperybally.  My  prince  of  the  courts  who'll  beat  me to  love!  And  I'll  be  there  When  who  knows  where  with  the objects  of  which  I'll  knowor  forget.  We  say.  Trust  us.  Our game.  (For  fun!)  The  Dargle  shall  run  dry  the  sooner  I  you deny.  Whoevery  heard  of  such  a  think.'^  Till  the  ulmost  of  all elmoes  shall  stele  our  harts  asthone!  And  Mrs  A'Mara  makes it  up  and  befriends  with  Mrs  O'Morum!  I  will  write  down  all your  names  in  my  gold  pen  and  ink.  Everyday,  precious,  while m'm'ry's  leaves  are  falling  deeply  on  my  Jungfraud's  Messonge- book  I  will  dream  telepath  posts  dulcets  on  this  isinglass  stream (but  don't  tell  him  or  I'll  be  the  mort  of  him !)  under  the  libans and  the  sickamours,  the  cyprissis  and  babilonias,  where  the frondoak  rushes  to  the  ask  and  the  yewleaves  too  kisskiss  them- selves and  'twill  carry  on  my  hearz'waves  my  still  waters  reflec- tions in  words  over  Margrate  von  Hungaria,  her  Quaidy  ways and  her  Flavin  hair,  to  thee.  Jack,  ahoy,  beyond  the  boysforus. Splesh  of  hiss  splash  springs  your  salmon.  Twick  twick,  twinkle twings  my  twilight  as  Sarterday  afternoon  lex  leap  will  smile  on my  fourinhanced  twelvemonthsmind.  And  what's  this  I  was going  to  say,  dean.^  O,  I  understand.  Listen,  here  I'll  wait  on  thee till  Thingavalla  with  beautiful  do  be  careful  teacakes,  more  stues- ser  flavoured  than  Vanilla  and  blackcurrant  there's  a  cure  in,  like a  born  gentleman  till  you'll  resemble  me,  all  the  time  you're awhile  way,  I  swear  to  you,  I  will,  by  Candlemas!  And  listen, joey,  don't  be  ennoyed  with  me,  my  old  evernew,  when,  by  the
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end  of  your  chapter,  you  citch  water  on  the  wagon  for  me  being turned  a  star  I'll  dubeurry  my  two  fesces  under  Pouts  Vanisha Creme,  their  way  for  spilling  cream,  and,  accent,  umto  extend my  personnalitey  to  the  latents,  I'll  boy  me  for  myself  only  of expensive  rainproof  of  pinked  elephant's  breath  grey  of  the loveliest  sheerest  dearest  widowshood  over  airforce  blue  I  am so  wild  for,  my  precious  once,  Hope  Bros.,  Faith  Street,  Charity Corner,  as  the  bee  loves  her  skyhighdeed,  for  I  always  had  a crush  on  heliotrope  since  the  dusess  of  yore  cycled  round  the Finest  Park,  and  listen.  And  never  mind  me  laughing  at  what's atever!  I  was  in  the  nerves  but  it's  my  last  day.  Always  about this  hour,  I'm  sorry,  when  our  gamings  for  Bruin  and  Noselong is  all  oh  you  tease  and  afterdoon  my  lickle  pussiness  I  stheal heimlick  in  my  russians  from  the  attraction  part  with  my  terri- blitall  boots  calvescatcher  Pinchapoppapoff,  who  is  going  to  be a  jennyroll,  at  my  nape,  drenched,  love,  with  dripping  to  affec- tionate slapmamma  but  last  at  night,  look,  after  my  golden  vio- lents  wetting  in  my  upperstairs  splendidly  welluminated  with such  lidlylac  curtains  wallpapered  to  match  the  cat  and  a  fire- please  keep  looking  of  priceless  pearlogs  I  just  want  to  see  will he  or  are  all  Michales  like  that,  Fll  strip  straight  after  devotions before  his  fondstare — and  I  mean  it  too,  (thy  gape  to  my  gazing I'll  bind  and  makeleash)  and  poke  stiff  under  my  isonbound  with my  soiedisante  chineknees  cheeckchubby  chambermate  for  the night's  foreign  males  and  your  name  of  Shane  will  come  forth between  my  shamefaced  whesen  with  other  lipth  I  nakest  open my  thight  when  just  woken  by  his  toccatootletoo  my  first  morn- ing. So  now,  to  thalk  thildish,  thome,  theated  with  Mag  at  the oilthan  we  are  doing  to  thay  one  little  player  before  doing  to deed.  An  a  tiss  to  the  tassie  for  lu  and  for  tu!  Coach  me  how  to tumble,  Jaime,  and  listen,  with  supreme  regards,  Juan,  in  haste, warn  me  which  to  ah  ah  ah  ah.  .  .  .
—  MEN!  Juan  responded  fullchantedly  to  her  sororal  sono- rity, imitating  himself  capitally  with  his  bubbleblown  in  his patapet  and  his  chalished  drink  now  well  in  hand.  (A  spilt,  see, for  a  split,  see  see!)  Ever  gloriously  kind!  And  I  truly  am
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eucherised  to  yous.  Also  sacre  pere  and  maitre  d'autel.  Well, ladies  upon  gentlermen  and  toastmaster  general,  let  us,  brindising brandisong,  woo  and  win  womenlong  with  health  to  rich  vine- yards, Erin  go  Dry !  Amingst  the  living  waters  of,  the  living  in giving  waters  of.  Tight!  Loose!  A  stiff  one  for  Staffetta  mullified with  creams  of  hourmony,  the  coupe  that's  chill  for  jacklessjill  and a  filiform  dhouche  on  Doris!  Esterelles,  be  not  on  your  weeping what  though  Shaunathaun  is  in  his  fail!  To  stir  up  love's  young fizz  I  tilt  with  this  bridle's  cup  champagne,  dimming  douce  from her  peepair  of  hideseeks,  tightsqueezed  on  my  snowybrusted  and while  my  pearlies  in  their  sparkling  wisdom  are  nippling  her bubblets  I  swear  (and  let  you  swear!)  by  the  bumper  round  of my  poor  old  snaggletooth's  solidbowel  I  ne'er  will  prove  Fm untrue  to  your  liking  (theare !)  so  long  as  my  hole  looks.  Down.
So  gullaby,  me  poor  Isley!  But  I'm  not  for  forgetting  me innerman  monophone  for  I'm  leaving  my  darling  proxy  behind for  your  consolering,  lost  Dave  the  Dancekerl,  a  squamous  run- away and  a  dear  old  man  pal  of  mine  too.  He  will  arrive  inces- santly in  the  fraction  of  a  crust,  who,  could  he  quit  doubling  and stop  tippling,  he  would  be  the  unicorn  of  his  kind.  He's  the mightiest  penumbrella  I  ever  flourished  on  behond  the  shadow of  a  post!  Be  sure  and  link  him,  me  O  treasauro,  as  often  as  you learn  provided  there's  nothing  between  you  but  a  plain  deal table  only  don't  encourage  him  to  cry  lessontimes  over  Lepers- town.  But  ..soft!  Can't  be.'^  Do  mailstanes  mumble.'^  Lumtum lumtum!  Now!  The  froubadour!  I  fremble!  Talk  of  wolf  in  a stomach  by  all  that's  verminous!  Eccolo  me!  The  return  of th'athlate!  Who  can  secede  to  his  success!  Isn't  Jaunstown, Ousterrike,  the  small  place  after  all.'*  I  knew  I  smelt  the  garlic leek!  Why,  bless  me  swits,  here  he  its,  darling  Dave,  like the  catoninelives  just  in  time  as  if  he  fell  out  of  space,  all draped  in  mufti,  coming  home  to  mourn  mountains  from  his old  continence  and  not  on  one  foot  either  or  on  two  feet aether  but  on  quinquisecular  cycles  after  his  French  evolution and  a  blindfold  passage  by  the  4.32  with  the  pork's  pate  in  his suicide  paw  and  the  gulls  laughing  lime  on  his  natural  skunk,
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blushing  like  Pat's  pig,  begob!  He's  not  too  timtom  well  ashamed to  carry  out  onaglibtograbakelly  in  his  showman's  sinister  the testymonicals  he  gave  his  twenty  annis  orf,  showing  the  three white  feathers,  as  a  home  cured  emigrant  in  Paddyouare  far  be- low on  our  sealevel.  Bearer  may  leave  the  church,  signed,  Figura Porca,  Lictor  Magnaffica.  He's  the  sneaking  likeness  of  us,  faith, me  altar's  ego  in  miniature  and  every  Auxonian  aimer's  ace  as nasal  a  Romeo  as  I  am,  for  ever  cracking  quips  on  himself,  that merry,  the  jeenjakes,  he'd  soon  arise  mother's  roses  mid  bedew- ing tears  under  those  wild  wet  lashes  onto  anny  living  girl's laftercheeks.  That's  his  little  veiniality.  And  his  unpeppeppedi- ment.  He  has  novel  ideas  I  know  and  he's  a  jarry  queer  fish  be- times, I  grant  you,  and  cantanberous,  the  poisoner  of  his  word, but  lice  and  all  and  semicoloured  stainedglasses,  I'm  enormously full  of  that  foreigner,  I'll  say  I  am !  Got  by  the  one  goat,  suckled by  the  same  nanna,  one  twitch,  one  nature  makes  us  oldworld kin.  We're  as  thick  and  thin  now  as  two  tubular  jawballs.  I  hate him  about  his  patent  henesy,  plasfh  it,  yet  am  I  amorist.  I  love him.  I  love  his  old  portugal's  nose.  There's  the  nasturtium  for ye  now  that  saved  manny  a  poor  sinker  from  water  on  the  grave. The  diasporation  of  all  pirates  and  quinconcentrum  of  a  fake  like Basilius  O'Cormacan  MacArty.'^  To  camiflag  he  turned  his  shirt. Isn't  he  after  borrowing  all  before  him,  making  friends  with everybody  red  in  Rossya,  white  in  Alba  and  touching  every  dis- tinguished Ourishman  he  could  ever  distinguish  before  or  be- hind from  a  Yourishman  for  the  customary  halp  of  a  crown  and peace.^  He  is  looking  aged  with  his  pebbled  eyes,  and  johnnythin too,  from  livicking  on  pidgins'  ifs  with  puffins'  ands,  he's  been slanderising  himself,  but  I  pass  no  remark.  Hope  he  hasn't  the cholera.  Give  him  an  eyot  in  the  farout.  Moseses  and  Noasies, how  are  you.'^  He'd  be  as  snug  as  Columbsisle  Jonas  wrocked  in the  belly  of  the  whaves,  as  quotad  before.  Bravo,  senior  chief! Famose!  Sure  there's  nobody  else  in  touch  anysides  to  hold  a chef's  cankle  to  the  darling  at  all  for  sheer  dare  with  that  prison- potstill  of  Spanish  breans  on  him  like  the  knave  of  trifles!  A  jolly- tan  fine  demented  brick  and  the  prince  of  goodfilips!  Dave
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knows  I  have  the  highest  of  respect  of  annyone  in  my  oweand smooth  way  for  that  intellectual  debtor  (Obbligado!)  Mushure David  R.  Crozier.  And  we're  the  closest  of  chems.  Mark  my  use of  you,  cog!  Take  notice  how  I  yemploy,  crib!  Be  ware  as  you, I  foil,  coppy!  It's  a  pity  he  can't  see  it  for  I'm  terribly  nice  about him.  Canwyll  y  Cymry,  the  marmade's  flamme!  A  leal  of  the O'Looniys,  a  Brazel  aboo!  The  most  omportent  man!  Shervos/ Ho,  be  the  holy  snakes,  someone  has  shaved  his  rough  diamond skull  for  him  as  clean  as  Nuntius'  piedish!  The  burnt  out mesh  and  the  matting  and  all!  Thunderweather,  khyber  schinker escapa  sansa  pagar!  He's  the  spatton  spit,  so  he  is,  scaly  skin and  all,  with  his  blackguarded  eye  and  the  goatsbeard  in his  buttinghole  of  Shemuel  Tulliver,  me  grandsourd,  the  old cruxader,  when  he  off  with  his  paudeen!  That  was  to  let  the crowd  of  the  Flu  Flux  Fans  behind  him  see  me  proper.  Ah, he's  very  thoughtful  and  sympatrico  that  way  is  Brother  Intelli- gentius,  when  he's  not  absintheminded,  with  his  Paris  addresse ! He  is,  really.  Holdhard  till  you'll  ear  him  clicking  his  bull's bones!  Some  toad  klakkin!  You're  welcome  back,  Wilkins,  to red  berries  in  the  frost!  And  here's  the  butter  exchange  to  pfeife and  dramn  ye  with  a  bawlful  of  the  Moulsaybaysse  and  yunker doodler  wanked  to  wall  awriting  off  his  phoney.  I'm  tired  hair- ing of  you.  Hat  yourself!  Give  us  your  dyed  dextremity  here, frother,  the  Claddagh  clasp!  I  met  with  dapper  dandy  and  he shocked  me  big  the  hamd.  Where's  your  watch  keeper?  You've seen  all  sorts  in  shapes  and  sizes,  marauding  about  the  moppa- mound.  How's  the  cock  and  the  bullfight.'^  And  old  Auster  and Hungrig?  And  the  Beer  and  Belly  and  the  Boot  and  Ball?  Not forgetting  the  oils  of  greas  under  that  turkey  in  julep  and  Father Freeshots  Feilbogen  in  his  rockery  garden  with  the  costard?  And did  you  meet  with  Peadhar  the  Grab  at  all?  And  did  you  call  on Tower  Geesyhus?  Was  Mona,  my  own  love,  no  bigger  than  she should  be,  making  up  to  you  in  her  bestbehaved  manor  when you  made  your  breastlaw  and  made  her,  tell  me?  And  did  you like  the  landskip  from  Lambay?  I'm  better  pleased  than  ten guidneys!  You  rejoice  me!  Faith,  I'm  proud  of  you,  french  davit!
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You've  surpassed  yourself!  B_e  introduced  to  yes !  This  is  me  aunt Julia  Bride,  your  honour,  dying  to  have  you  languish  to  scan- dal  in  her  bosky  old  delltangle.  You  don't  reckoneyes  him?  He's Jackot  the  Horner  who  boxed  in  his  corner^  jilting  no  fewer  than three  female  bribes.  That's  his  penals.  ShervorumI  You  haven't seen  her  since  she  stepped  into  her  drawpfFs.  Come  on,  spinister,  ^<:2 do  your  stuff!  Don't  be  shoy,  husbandmanvir !  Weih,  what's  on you,  Up  the  ahaOQiewaugh  I  She  has  plenty  of  woom  in  the ft^  smallclothes  for  the  bothsforus,  nephews  push!  Hatch  yourself well!  Enjomb yourselves  thurily!  Would  you  wait  biss  she  buds till  you  bite  on  her?  Embrace  her  bashfully  by  almeans  at  my frank  incensive  and  tell  her  in  your  semiological  agglutinative  yez,  c:r/^^ how  Idos  be  asking  after  her.  Let  us  be  holy  and  evil  and  let  her be  peace  on  the  bough.  Sure,  she  fell  in  line  with  our  tripertight V  photos  as  the  lyonised  mails  when  we  were  stablelads  together like  the  corks  again  brothers,  hungry  and  angry,  cavileer grace  by  roundhered  force,  or  like  boyrun  to  sibster,  me  and you,  shinners  true  and  pinchme,  our  tertius  quiddus,  that  never talked  or  listened.  Always  raving  how  we  had  the  wrinkles  of a  snailcharmer  and  the  slits  and  sniffers  of  a  fellow  that  fell  foul  u-c.  /pc\ of  the  county  de  Loona  and  the  mgattrap  of  the  fimj^egetam To  be  had  for  the  asking.  Have  a  hug!  Take  her  out  of  poor tuppeny  luck  before  she  goes  off  in  pure  treple  licquidance.  I'd give  three  shillings  a  pullet  to  the  canon  for  the  conjugation  to shadow  you  kissing  her  from  me  leberally  all  over  as  if  she  was  a crucifix.  It's  good  for  her  bilabials,  you  understand.  There's  no- thing like  the  mistletouch  for  finding  a  queen's  earring  false.  ?(\^ X^hink  chink.  As  the  curly  bard  said  after  kitchin  the  womn  in his  hym  to  the  hum  of  her  garments.  You  try  a  little  tich  to  the  ^<Q tissle  of  his  tail.  The  racist  to  the  racy,  rossy.  The  soil  is  for  the §£lf  alone.  Be  ownkind.  Be  kithkinish.  Be  bloodysibby.  Be  irish. Be  inish.  Be  offalia.  Be  hamlet.  Be  the  property  plot.  Be  Yorick and  Lankystare.  Be  cool.  Be  mackinamucks  of  yourselves.  Be  /  ■
finish.  No  martyr  where  the  preature  is  there's  no  plagues  like rome.  It  gives  up  the  gripes.  Watch  the  swans  way.  Take  your tiger  over  it.  The  leady  on  the  lake  and  the  convict  of  the  forest.
Why,  they  might  be  Babau  and  Momie!  Yipyip!  To  pan!  To pan!  To  tinpinnypan.  All  folly  me  yap  to  Curlew!  Give  us  a  pin for  her  and  we'll  call  it  a  tossup.  Can  you  reverse  positions? Lets  have  a  fuchu  all  round,  courting  cousins !  Quuck,  the  duck of  a  woman  for  quack,  the  drake  of  a  man,  her  little  live  apples for  Leas  and  love  potients  for  Leos,  the  next  beast  king.  Put me  down  for  all  ringside  seats.  I  can  feel  you  being  corrupted. Recoil.  I  can  see  you  sprouting  scruples.  Get  back.  And  as he's  boiling  with  water  I'll  light  your  pyre.  Turn  about,  skeezy Sammy,  out  of  metaphor,  till  we  feel  are  you  still  tropeful of  popetry.  Told  you  so.  If  you  doubt  of  his  love  of  darearing his  feelings  you'll  very  much  hurt  for  mishmash  mastufractured on  europe  you  can  read  off  the  tail  of  his.  Rip  ripper  rippest  and jac  jac  jac.  Dwell  on  that,  my  hero  and  lander!  That's  the  side that  appeals  to  em,  the  wring  wrong  way  to  wright  woman.  Shuck her!  Let  him!  What  he's  good  for.  Shuck  her  more!  Let  him again!  All  she  wants!  Could  you  wheedle  a  staveling  encore  out of  your  imitationer's  jubalharp,  hey,  Mr  Jinglejoys.'*  Congrega- tional singing.  Rota  rota  ran  the  pagoda  con  dio  in  capo  ed  il  dia- volo  in  coda.  Many  a  diva  devoucha  saw  her  Dauber  Dan  at  the priesty  pagoda  Rota  ran.  Uck!  He's  so  sedulous  to  singe  always if  prumpted,  the  mirthprovoker !  Grunt  unto  us,  I  pray,  your  fore- boden  article  in  our  own  deas  dockandoilish  introducing  the death  of  Nelson  with  coloraturas !  Coraio,  fraf  And  I'll  string second  to  harmanize.  My  loaf  and  pottage  neaheaheahear  Ro- chelle.  With  your  dumpsey  diddely  dumpsey  die,  iiddeley  fa. Diavoloh!  Or  come  on,  schoolcolours,  and  we'll  scrap,  rug  and mat  and  then  be  as  chummy  as  two  bashed  spuds.  Bitrial  bay holmgang  or  betrayal  buy  jury.  Attaboy!  Fee  gate  has  Heenan hoity,  mind  uncle  Hare.^  What,  sir.'^  Poss,  myster.'^  Acheve!  Thou, thou!  What  say  ye.'^  Taurus  periculosusy  morbus  pedeiculosus. Miserere  mei  in  miseribilihus!  There's  uval  lavguage  for  you !  The tower  is  precluded,  the  mob's  in  her  petticoats;  Mr  R.  E.  Meehan is  in  misery  with  his  billyboots.  Begob,  there's  not  so  much green  in  his  Ireland's  eye!  Sweet  fellow  ovocal,  he  stones  out  of stune.  But  he  could  be  near  a  colonel  with  a  voice  like  that.  The
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bark  is  still  there  but  the  molars  are  gone.  The  misery  billyboots I  used  to  lend  him  before  we  split  and,  be  the  hole  in  the  year, they  were  laking  like  heaven's  reflexes.  But  I  told  him  make  your will  be  done  and  go  to  a  general  and  I'd  pray  confessions  for him.  Areesh!  Areesh!  And  Til  be  your  intrepider.  Ambras! Ruffle  her !  Bussing  was  before  the  blood  and  hissing  will  behind the  curtain.  Triss!  Did  you  note  that  worrid  expressionism  on his  megalogue.^  A  full  octavium  below  me!  And  did  you  hear his  browrings  rattlemaking  when  he  was  preaching  to  himself.'^ And,  whoa,!  do  you  twig  the  schamlooking  leaf  greeping  ghastly down  his  blousyfrock.'^  Our  national  umbloom!  Areesh!  He won't.  He's  shoy.  Those  worthies,  my  old  faher's  onkel  that was  garotted,  Caius  Cocoa  Codinhand,  that  I  lost  in  a  crowd, used  to  chop  that  tongue  of  his,  japlatin,  with  my  yuonkle's owlseller,  Woowoolfe  Woodenbeard,  that  went  stomebathred, in  the  Tower  of  Balbus,  as  brisk,  man,  as  I'd  scoff  up  muttan chepps  and  lobscouse.  But  it's  all  deafman's  duff  to  me, begob.  Sam  knows  miles  bettern  me  how  to  work  the miracle.  And  I  see  by  his  diarrhio  he's  dropping  the  stammer out  of  his  silenced  bladder  since  I  bonded  him  off  more  as  a friend  and  as  a  brother  to  try  and  grow  a  muff  and  canonise  his dead  feet  down  on  the  river  airy  by  thinking  himself  into  the fourth  dimension  and  place  the  ocean  between  his  and  ours, the  churchyard  in  the  cloister  of  the  depths,  after  he  was  capped out  of  beurlads  scoel  for  the  sin  against  the  past  participle  and earned  the  factitation  of  codding  chaplan  and  being  as  homely gauche  as  swift  B.A.A.  Who  gets  twickly  fullgets  twice  as  alle- manden  buskers.  But  the  whacker  his  word  the  weaker  our  ears for  auracles  who  paries  parses  orileys.  Illstarred  punster,  lipster- ing  cowknucks.  'Twas  the  quadra  sent  him  and  Trinity  too.  And he  can  cantab  as  chipper  as  any  oxon  ever  I  mood  with,  a  tiptoe singer!  He'll  prisckly  soon  hand  tune  your  Erin's  ear  for  you. p.p.  a  mimograph  at  a  time,  numan  bitter,  with  his  ancomartins to  read  the  road  roman  with  false  steps  ad  Pernicious  from rhearsilvar  ormolus  to  torquinions  superbers  while  I'm  far away  from  wherever  thou  art  serving  my  tallyhos  and  tuUying
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my  hostilious  by  going  in  by  the  most  holy  recitatandas/j^j^jrfor my  varsatile  examinations  in  the  ologies,  to  be  a  coach  on  the Fukien  mission.  P?  F?  How  used  you  learn  me,  brather soboostius,  in  my  augustan  days?  With  cesarella  looking  on. In  the  beginning  was  the  gest  he  jousstly  says,  for  the  end  is with  woman,  flesh-without-word,  while  the  man  to  be  is  in  a worse  case  after  than  before  since  she  on  the  supine  satisfies the  verg  to  him!  Toughtough,  tootoological.  Thou  the  first person  shingeller.  Art,  an  imperfect  subjunctive.  Paltry, fiappent,  had  serious.  Miss  Smith  onamatterpoetic.  Hammis- andivis  axes  colles  waxes  warmas  like  sodullas.  So  pick  your stops  with  fondnes  snow.  And  mind  you  twine  the  twos noods  of  your  nicenames.  And  pull  up  your  furbelovs  as  far- above  as  you're  farthingales.  That'll  hint  him  how  to  click  the trigger.  Show  you  shall  and  won't  he  will!  His  hearing  is  in- doubting  just  as  my  seeing  is  onbelieving.  So  dactylise  him  up to  blankpoint  and  let  him  blink  for  himself  where  you  speak  the best  ticklish.  You'll  feel  what  I  mean.  Fond  namer,  let  me  never see  thee  blame  a  kiss  for  shame  a  knee !
Echo,  read  ending!  Siparioramoci !  But  from  the  stress  of their  sunder  enlivening,  ay  clasp,  deciduously,  a  nikrokosmikon must  come  to  mike.
—  Well,  my  positively  last  at  any  stage !  I  hate  to  look  at  alarms but,  however  I  they  put  on  my  watchcraft,  must  now  close  as  I hereby  hear  by  ear  from  by  seeless  socks  'tis  time  to  be  up  and ambling.  Mymiddle  toe's  mitching,  so  mizzle  I  must  else  'twill sarve  me  out.  Gulp  a  bulper  at  parting  and  the  moore  the melodest!  Farewell  but  whenever,  as  Tisdall  told  Toole. Tempos  fidgets.  Let  flee  me  fiacckles,  says  the  grand  old  mano- ark,  stormcrested  crowcock  and  undulant  hair,  hoodies  tway! Yes,  faith,  I  am  as  mew  let  freer,  beneath  me  corthage,  bound. I'm  as  bored  now  bawling  beersgrace  at  sorepaws  there  as  Andrew Clays  was  sharing  sawdust  with  Daniel's  old  collie.  This  shack's not  big  enough  for  me  now.  I'm  dreaming  of  ye,  azores.  And,  re- member this,  a  chorines,  there's  the  witch  on  the  heath,  sistra! 'Bansheeba  peeling  hourihaared  while  her  Orcotron  is  hearing
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ho.  And  whinn  muinnuit  flittsbit  twinn  her  ttittshe  cries tallmidy!  Daughters  of  the  heavens,  be  lucks  in  turnabouts to  the  wandering  sons  of  red  loam!  The  earth's  atrot!  The sun's  a  scream !  The  air's  a  jig.  The  water's  great !  Seven  oldy oldy  hills  and  the  one  blue  beamer.  I'm  going.  I  know  I  am. I  could  bet  I  am.  Somewhere  I  must  get  far  away  from  Banba- shore,  wherever  I  am.  No  saddle,  no  staffet,  but  spur  on  the moment!  So  I  think  I'll  take  freeboots'  advise.  Psk!  I'll  borrow a  path  to  lend  me  wings,  quickquack,  and  from  Jehusalem's wall,  clickclack,  me  courser's  clear,  to  Cheerup  street  I'll  travel the  void  world  over.  It's  Winland  for  moyne,  bickbuck!  Jee- jakers!  I  hurt  meself  nettly  that  time!  Come,  my  good  frog- marchers!  We  felt  the  fall  but  we'll  front  the  defile.  Was  not  my olty  mutther,  Sereth  Maritza,  a  Runningwater.'^  And  the  bould one  that  quickened  her  the  seaborne  Fingale.'^  I  feel  like  that hill  of  a  whaler  went  yulding  round  Groenmund's  Circus  with his  tree  full  of  seaweeds  and  Dinky  Doll  asleep  in  her  shell. Hazelridge  has  seen  me.  Jerne  valing  is.  Squall  aboard  for  Kew, hop!  Farewell  awhile  to  her  and  thee!  The  brine's  my  bride  to be.  Lead  on.  Macadam,  and  danked  be  he  who  first  sights  Halt Linduff!  Solo,  solone,  solong!  Lood  Erynnana,  ware  thee  wail! With  me  singame  soarem  o'erem!  Here's  me  take  off.  Now's nunc  or  nimmer,  siskinder!  Here  goes  the  enemy!  Bennydick hotfoots  onimpudent  stayers!  Sorry!  I  bless  alls  to  the  whished with  this  panromain  apological  which  Watllwewhistlem  sang  to the  kerrycoys.  Break  ranks!  After  wage-of-battle  bother  I  am thinking  most.  Fik  yew!  I'm  through.  Won.  Toe.  Adry.  You watch  my  smoke.
After  poor  Jaun  the  Boast's  last  fireless  words  of  postludium of  his  soapbox  speech  ending  in'sheaven,  twentyaid  add  one  with a  flirt  of  wings  were  pouring  to  his  bysistance  (could  they  snip that  curl  of  curls  to  lay  with  their  gloves  and  keep  the  kids bright!)  prepared  to  cheer  him  should  he  leap  or  to  curse  him should  he  fall,  but,  with  their  biga  triga  rheda  rodeo,  the  cherubs in  the  charabang,  set  down  here  and  sedan  chair,  don't  you wish  you'd  a  yoke  or  a  bit  in  your  mouth,  repulsing  all  attempts
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at  first  hands  on,  as  no  es  nada,  our  greatly  misunderstood  one we  perceived  to  give  himself  some  sort  of  a  hermetic  prod  or kick  to  sit  up  and  take  notice,  which  acted  like  magic,  while the  phalanx  of  daughters  of  February  Filldyke,  embushed  and climbing,  ramblers  and  weeps,  voiced  approval  in  their  customary manner  by  dropping  kneedeep  in  tears  over  their  concelebrated meednight  sunflower,  piopadey  boy,  their  solase  in  dorckaness, and  splattering  together  joyously  the  plaps  of  their  tappy hands as,  with  a  cry  of  genuine  distress,  so  prettly  prattly  pollylogue, they  viewed  him,  the  just  one,  their  darling,  away.
A  dream  of  favours,  a  favourable  dream.  They  know  how  they believe  that  they  believe  that  they  know.  Wherefore  they  wail.
EhjourdVeh!  OhjourdVoe!  dosiriously  it  psalmodied.  Gues- turn's  lothlied  answring  to-maronite's  wail.
Oasis,  cedarous  esaltarshoming  Leafboughnoon !
Oisis,  coolpressus  onmountof  Sighing!
Oasis,  palmost  esaltarshoming  Gladdays !
Oisis,  phantastichal  roseway  anjerichol !
Oasis,  newleavos  spaciosing  encampness !
Oisis,  plantainous  dewstuckacqmirage  playtennis!
Pipetto,  Pipetta  has  misery  unnoticed!
But  the  strangest  thing  happened.  Backscuttling  for  the  hop off  with  the  odds  altogether  in  favour  of  his  tumbling  into  the river,  Jaun  just  then  I  saw  to  collect  from  the  gentlest  weaner among  the  weiners,  (who  by  this  were  in  half  droopleaflong mourning  for  the  passing  of  the  last  post)  the  familiar  yellow label  into  which  he  let  fall  a  drop,  smothered  a  curse,  choked  a guffaw,  spat  expectoratiously  and  blew  his  own  trumpet.  And  next thing  was  he  gummalicked  the  stickyback  side  and  stamped  the oval  badge  of  belief  to  his  agnelows  brow  with  a  genuine dash  of  irrepressible  piety  that  readily  turned  his  ladylike typmanzelles  capsy  curvy  (the  holy  scamp!),  with  half  a glance  of  Irish  frisky  (a  Juan  Jaimesan  hastaluego)  from  under the  shag  of  his  parallel  brows.  It  was  then  he  made  as  if  be but  waved  instead  a  handacross  the  sea  as  notice  to  quit  while the  pacifettes  made  their  armpacts  widdershins  (Frida!  Freda!
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Paza!  Paisy!  Irine!  Areinette!  Bridomay!  Bentamai!  Soso- sopky!  Bebebekka!  Bababadkessy!  Ghugugoothoyou !  Dama! Damadomina!  Takiya!  Tokaya!  Scioccara!  Siuccherillina!  Peoc- chia!  Peucchia!  Ho  Mi  Hoping!  Ha  Me  Happinice!  Mirra!  My- rha!  Solyma!  Salemita!  Sainta!  Sianta!  O  Peace!),  but  in  self- righting  the  balance  of  his  corporeity  to  reexchange  widerem- brace  with  the  pillarbosom  of  the  Dizzier  he  loved  prettier,  be- tween estellos  and  venoussas,  bad  luck  to  the  lie  but  when  next to  nobody  expected,  their  star  and  gartergazer  at  the  summit  of his  climax,  he  toppled  a  lipple  on  to  the  off  and,  making  a  brand- new  start  for  himself  to  run  down  his  easting,  by  blessing  hes sthers  with  the  sign  of  the  southern  cross,  his  bungaloid  borsa- line  with  the  hedgygreen  bound  blew  off  in  a  loveblast  (award for  trover!)  and  Jawjon  Redhead,  bucketing  after,  meccamaniac, (the  headless  shall  have  legs!),  kingscouriered  round  with  an  easy rush  and  ready  relays  by  the  bridge  a  stadion  beyond  Ladycastle (and  what  herm  but  he  narrowly  missed  fouling  her  buttress  for her  but  for  he  acqueducked)  and  then,  cocking  a  snook  at  the stock  of  his  sermons,  so  mear  and  yet  so  fahr  from  that  region's general,  away  with  him  at  the  double,  the  hulk  of  a  garron, pelting  after  the  road,  on  Shanks's  mare,  let  off  like  a  wind  hound loose  (the  bouchal!  you'd  think  it  was  that  moment  they  gave him  the  jambos!)  with  a  posse  of  tossing  hankerwaves  to  his windward  like  seraph's  summonses  on  the  air  and  a  tempest  of good  things  in  packetshape  teeming  from  all  accounts  into  the funnel  of  his  fanmail  shrimpnet,  along  the  highroad  of  the nation.  Traitor's  Track,  following  which  fond  floral  fray  he  was quickly  lost  to  sight  through  the  statuemen  though  without  a doubt  he  was  all  the  more  on  that  same  head  to  memory  dear while  Sickerson,  that  borne  of  bjoeme,  la  garde  auxiliaire  she murmured,  hellyg  Ursulinka,  full  of  woe  (and  how  fitlier  should goodboy's  hand  be  shook  than  by  the  warmin  of  her  besom that  wrung  his  swaddles?):  Where  maggot  Harvey  kneeled  till  hags? Ate  Andrew  coos  hogdam  farvelf
Wethen,  now,  may  the  good  people  speed  you,  rural  Haun, export  stout  fellow  that  you  are,  the  crooner  born  with  sweet
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wail  of  evoker,  healing  music,  ay,  and  heart  in  hand  of  Sham- rogueshire !  The  googoos  of  the  suckabolly  in  the  rockabeddy  are become  the  copiosity  of  wiseableness  of  the  friarylayman  in  the pulpitbarrel.  May  your  bawny  hair  grow  rarer  and  fairer,  our  own only  wideheaded  boy!  Rest  your  voice!  Feed  your  mind!  Mint your  peas!  Coax  your  qyous!  Come  to  disdoon  blarmey  and walk  our  groves  so  charming  and  see  again  the  sweet  rockelose where  first  you  hymned  0  Ciesa  Mea!  and  touch  the  light  the- orbo !  Songster,  angler,  choreographer !  Piper  to  prisoned !  Musi- cianship made  Embrassador-at-Large !  Good  by  nature  and natural  by  design,  had  you  but  been  spared  to  us,  Hauneen  lad, but  sure  where's  the  use  my  talking  quicker  when  I  know  you'll hear  me  all  astray?  My  long  farewell  I  send  to  you,  fair  dream  of sport  and  game  and  always  something  new*.  Gone  is  Haun!  My grief,  my  ruin!  Our  Joss-el-Jovan !  Our  Chris-na-Murty !  Tis  well you'll  be  looked  after  from  last  to  first  as  yon  beam  of  light  we follow  receding  on  your  photophoric  pilgrimage  to  your  anti- podes in  the  past,  you  who  so  often  consigned  your  distributory tidings  of  great  joy  into  our  never toolatetolove  box,  mansuetudi- nous  manipulator,  victimisedly  victorihoarse,  dearest  Haun  of all,  you  of  the  boots,  true  as  adie,  stepwalker,  pennyatimer, lampaddyfair,  postanulengro,  our  rommanychiel !  Thy  now  pal- ing light  lucerne  we  ne'er  may  see  again.  But  could  it  speak  how nicely  would  it  splutter  to  the  four  cantons  praises  be  to  thee, our  pattern  sent!  For  you  had  —  may  I,  in  our,  your  and  their names,  dare  to  say  it.'^  —  the  nucleus  of  a  glow  of  a  zeal  of  soul of  service  such  as  rarely,  if  ever,  have  I  met  with  single  men. Numerous  are  those  who,  nay,  there  are  a  dozen  of  folks  still unclaimed  by  the  death  angel  in  this  country  of  ours  today, humble  indivisibles  in  this  grand  continuum,  overlorded  by  fate and  interlarded  with  accidence,  who,  while  there  are  hours  and days,  will  fervently  pray  to  the  spirit  above  that  they  may  never depart  this  earth  of  theirs  till  in  his  long  run  from  that  place where  the  day  begins,  ere  he  retourneys  postexilic,  on  that  day that  belongs  to  joyful  Ireland,  the  people  that  is  of  all  time,  the old  old  oldest,  the  young  young  youngest,  after  decades  of
I
longsuffering  and  decennia  of  brief  glory,  to  mind  us  of  what was  when  and  to  matter  us  of  the  withering  of  our  ways,  their Janyouare  Fibyouare  wins  true  from  Sylvester  (only  Walker himself  is  like  Waltzer,  whimsicalissimo  they  go  murmurand) comes  marching  ahome  on  the  summer  crust  of  the  flagway. Life,  it  is  true,  will  be  a  blank  without  you  because  avicuum's  not there  at  all,  to  nomore  cares  from  nomad  knows,  ere  Molochy wars  bring  the  devil  era,  a  slip  of  the  time  between  a  date  and  a ghostmark,  rived  by  darby's  chilldays  embers,  spatched  fun Juhn  that  dandyforth,  from  the  night  we  are  and  feel  and  fade with  to  the  yesterselves  we  tread  to  turnupon.
But,  boy,  you  did  your  strong  nine  furlong  mile  in  slick  and slapstick  record  time  and  a  farfetched  deed  it  was  in  troth,  cham- pion docile,  with  your  high  bouncing  gait  of  going  and  your feat  of  passage  will  be  contested  with  you  and  through  you,  for centuries  to  come.  The  phaynix  rose  a  sun  before  Erebia  sank  his smother!  Shoot  up  on  that,  bright  Bennu  bird!  Va  faotre! Eftsoon  so  too  will  our  own  sphoenix  spark  spirt  his  spyre and  sunward  stride  the  rampante  flambe.  Ay,  already  the sombrer  opacities  of  the  gloom  are  sphanished!  Brave  footsore Haun!  Work  your  progress!  Hold  to!  Now!  Win  out,  ye  divil  ye! The  silent  cock  shall  crow  at  last.  The  west  shall  shake  the  east  1 awake.  Walk  while  ye  have  the  night  for  morn,  lightbreakfast-  j bringer,  morroweth  whereon  every  past  shall  full  fost  sleep.  | Amain.
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Lowly,  longly,  a  wail  went  forth.  Pure  Yawn  lay  low.  On  the mead  of  the  hillock  lay,  heartsoul  dormant  mid  shadowed  land- shape,  brief  wallet  to  his  side,  and  arm  loose,  by  his  staff  of  citron briar,  tradition  stick-pass-on.  His  dream  monologue  was  over, of  cause,  but  his  drama  parapolylogic  had  yet  to  be,  affact.  Most distressfully  (but,  my  dear,  how  successfully!)  to  wail  he  did, his  locks  of  a  lucan  tinge,  quickrich,  ripely  rippling,  unfilleted, those  lashbetasselled  lids  on  the  verge  of  closing  time,  whiles ouze  of  his  sidewiseopen  mouth  the  breath  of  him,  evenso languishing  as  the  princeliest  treble  treacle  or  lichee  chewchow purse  could  buy.  Yawn  in  a  semiswoon  lay  awailing  and  (hooh !) what  helpings  of  honeyful  swoothead  (phew!),  which  ear- piercing  dulcitude !  As  were  you  suppose  to  go  and  push  with your  bluntblank  pin  in  hand  upinto  his  fleshasplush  cushionettes of  some  chubby  boybold  love  of  an  angel.  Hwoah !
When,  as  the  buzzer  brings  the  light  brigade,  keeping  the home  fires  burning,  so  on  the  churring  call  themselves  came  at him,  from  the  westborders  of  the  eastmidlands,  three  kings  of three  suits  and  a  crowner,  from  all  their  cardinal  parts,  along the  amber  way  where  Brosna's  furzy.  To  lift  them  they  did, senators  four,  by  the  first  quaint  skreek  of  the  gloaming  and they  hopped  it  up  the  mountainy  molehill,  traversing  climes of  old  times  gone  by  of  the  days  not  worth  remembering; inventing  some  excusethems,  any  sort,  having  a  sevenply
474
i
sweat  of  night  blues  moist  upon  them.  Feefee!  phopho!! foorchtha ! ! !  aggala ! ! ! !  jeeshee ! ! ! ! !  paloola !!!!!!  ooridiminy !!!!!!! Afeared  themselves  were  to  wonder  at  the  class  of  a  crossroads puzzler  he  would  likely  be,  length  by  breadth  nonplussing  his thickness,  ells  upon  ells  of  him,  making  so  many  square  yards  of him,  one  half  of  him  in  Conn's  half  but  the  whole  of  him  never- theless in  Owenmore's  five  quarters.  There  would  he  lay  till they  would  him  descry,  spancelled  down  upon  a  blossomy  bed,  at one  foule  stretch,  amongst  the  daffydowndillies,  the  flowers  of narcosis  fourfettering  his  footlights,  a  halohedge  of  wild  spuds hovering  over  him,  epicures  waltzing  with  gardenfiUers,  puritan shoots  advancing  to  Aran  chiefs.  Phopho!!  The  meteor  pulp of  him,  the  seamless  rainbowpeel.  Aggala ! ! ! !  His  bellyvoid  of nebulose  with  his  neverstop  navel.  Paloola!!!!!!  And  his  veins shooting  melanite  phosphor,  his  creamtocustard  cometshair  and his  asteroid  knuckles,  ribs  and  members.  Ooridiminy!!!!!!!  His electrolatiginous  twisted  entrails  belt.
Those  four  daymen  clomb  together  to  hold  their  sworn  star- chamber  quiry  on  him.  For  he  was  ever  their  quarrel,  the  way they  would  see  themselves,  everybug  his  bodiment  atop  of annywom  her  notion,  and  the  meet  of  their  noght  was  worth  two of  his  morning.  Up  to  the  esker  ridge  it  was,  Mallinger  parish,  to  a mead  that  was  not  far,  the  son's  rest.  First  klettered  Shanator Gregory,  seeking  spoor  through  the  deep  timefield,  Shanator Lyons,  trailing  the  wavy  line  of  his  partition  footsteps  (some- thing in  his  blisters  was  telling  him  all  along  how  he  had been  in  that  place  one  time),  then  his  Recordership,  Dr  Shuna- dure  Tarpey,  caperchasing  after  honourable  sleep,  hot  on  to  the aniseed  and,  up  out  of  his  prompt  corner,  oldShunny  MacShunny, MacDougal  the  hiker,  in  the  rere  of  them  on  the  run,  to  make  a quorum.  Roping  their  ass  he  was,  their  skygrey  globetrotter, by  way  of  an  afterthought  and  by  no  means  legless  either  for such  sprouts  on  him  they  were  that  much  oneven  it  was  tumbling he  was  by  four  lengths,  within  the  bawl  of  a  mascot,  kuss  yuss, kuss  cley,  patsy  watsy,  like  the  kapr  in  the  kabisses,  the  big  ass, to  hear  with  his  unaided  ears  the  harp  in  the  air,  the  bugle
475
dianablowing,  wild  as  wild,  the  mockingbird  whose  word  is misfortune,  so  'tis  said,  the  bulbul  down  the  wind.
The  proto  was  traipsing  through  the  tangle  then,  Mathew Walker,  godsons'  goddestfar,  deputising  for  gossipocracy, and  his  station  was  a  few  perch  to  the  weatherside  of  the knoll  Asnoch  and  it  was  from  no  other  place  unless  there,  how and  ever,  that  he  proxtended  aloof  upon  the  ether  Mesmer's Manuum,  the  hand  making  silence.  The  buckos  beyond  on  the  lea, then  stopped  wheresoever  they  found  their  standings  and  that  way they  set  ward  about  him,  doing  obedience,  nod,  bend,  bow  and curtsey,  like  the  watchers  of  Prospect,  upholding  their  broad- awake  prober's  hats  on  their  firrum  heads,  the  travelling  court  on its  findings  circuiting  that  personer  in  his  fallen.  And  a  crack  quat- youare  of  stenoggers  they  made  of  themselves,  solons  and  psy- chomorers,  all  told,  with  their  hurts  and  daimons,  spites  and clops,  not  even  to  the  seclusion  of  their  beast  by  them  that  was the  odd  trick  of  the  pack,  trump  and  no  friend  of  carrots.  And, what  do  you  think,  who  should  be  laying  there  above  all  other persons  forenenst  them  only  Yawn !  All  of  asprawl  he  was  laying too  amengst  the  poppies  and,  I  can  tell  you  something  more  than that,  drear  writer,  profoundly  as  you  may  bedeave  to  it,  he  was oscasleep  asleep.  And  it  was  far  more  similar  to  a  satrap  he  lay  there with  unctuous  beauty  all  surrounded,  the  poser,  or  for  whatall  I know  like  Lord  Lumen,  coaching  his  preferred  constellations  in faith  and  doctrine,  for  old  Matt  Gregory,  'tis  he  had  the  starmenag- erie,  Marcus  Lyons  and  Lucas  Metcalfe  Tarpey  and  the  mack that  never  forgave  the  ass  that  lurked  behind  him,  Jonny  na Hossaleen.
More  than  their  good  share  of  their  five  senses  ensorcelled you  would  say  themselves  were,  fuming  censor,  the  way  they could  not  rightly  tell  their  heels  from  their  stools  as  they  cooched down  a  mamalujo  by  his  cubical  crib,  as  question  time  drew nighing  and  the  map  of  the  souls'  groupography  rose  in  relief within  their  quarterings,  to  play  tops  or  kites  or  hoops  or  marbles, curchycurchy,  gawking  on  him,  for  the  issuance  of  his  pnum  and softnoising  one  of  them  to  another  one,  the  boguaqueestliers.
476
And  it  is  what  they  began  to  say  to  him  tetrahedrally  then,  the masters,  what  way  was  he.
—  He*s  giving,  the  wee  bairn.  Yun  has  lived.
—  Yerra,  why  dat,  my  leader.^
—  Wisha,  is  he  boosed  or  what,  alannah.'^
—  Or  his  wind's  from  the  wrong  cut,  says  Ned  of  the  Hill.
—  Lesten!
—  Why  so  and  speak  up,  do  you  hear  me,  you  sir.''
—  Or  he's  rehearsing  somewan's  funeral.
—  Whisht  outathat!  Hubba's  up!
And  as  they  were  spreading  abroad  on  their  octopuds  their drifter  nets,  the  chromous  gleamy  seiners'  nets  and,  no  lie,  there  was word  of  assonance  being  softspoken  among  those  quartermasters.
—  Get  busy,  kid!
—  Chirpy,  come  now!
—  The  present  hospices  is  a  good  time. — -  I'll  take  on  that  chap.
For  it  was  in  the  back  of  their  mind's  ear,  temptive  lissomer, how  they  would  be  spreading  in  quadriliberal  their  azurespotted fine  attractable  nets,  their  nansen  nets,  from  Matt  Senior  to  the thurrible  mystagogue  after  him  and  from  thence  to  the  neighbour and  that  way  to  the  puisny  donkeyman  and  his  crucifer's  cauda. And  in  their  minds  years  backslibris,  so  it  was,  slipping  beauty, how  they  would  be  meshing  that  way,  when  he  rose  to  it,  with  T  u the  planckton  at  play  about  him,  the  quivers  of  scaly  silver  and their  clutches  of  chromes  of  the  highly  lucid  spanishing  gold whilst,  as  hour  gave  way  to  mazing  hour,  with  Yawn  himself keeping  time  with  his  thripthongue,  to  ope  his  blurbeous  lips  he would,  a  let  out  classy,  the  way  myrrh  of  the  moor  and  molten moonmist  would  be  melding  mellifond  indo  his  mouth.
—  Y?
—  Before  You!
—  Ecko!  How  sweet  thee  answer  makes!  Afterwheres.^  In  the land  of  lions'  odor.'^
—  Friends !  First  if  yu  don't  mind.  Name  yur  historical  grouns.
—  This  same  prehistoric  barrow  'tis,  the  orangery.
477
—  I  see.  Very  good  now.  It  is  in  your  orangery,  I  take  it,  you have  your  letters.  Can  you  hear  here  me,  you  sir.'^
—  Throsends.  For  my  darling.  Typette!
—  So  long  aforetime.'^  Can  you  hear  better.'^
—  Millions.  For  godsends.  For  my  darling  dearling  one.
—  Now,  to  come  nearer  zone;  I  would  like  to  raise  my deuterous  point  audibly  touching  this.  There  is  this  maggers. I  am  told  by  our  interpreter,  Hanner  Esellus,  that  there  are  fully six  hundred  and  six  ragwords  in  your  malherbal  Magis  lande- guage  in  which  wald  wand  rimes  alpman  and  there  is  resin  in  all roots  for  monarch  but  yav  hace  not  one  pronouncable  teerm  that blows  in  all  the  vallums  of  tartallaght  to  signify  majestate,  even provisionally,  nor  no  rheda  rhoda  or  torpentine  path  or  halluci- nian  via  nor  aurellian  gape  nor  sunkin  rut  nor  grossgrown  trek nor  crimeslaved  cruxway  and  no  moorhens  cry  or  mooner's plankgang  there  to  lead  us  to  hopenhaven.  Is  such  the  imde  deri- vatur  casematter  messio!  Frankly.  Magis  megis  enerretur  mynus hoc  intelligow,
—  How.'^  C*est  mal  prononsable,  tartagliano,  perfrances.  Vous n'avez  pas  d'o  dans  votre  boche  provenciale,  mousoo.  Je  m*in- cline  mais  Moy  jay  trouvay  la  dee  dang  les  champs.  Hay  sham  nap poddy  velour,  come  on!
—  Hep  there!  Commong,  sa  na  pa  de  valure.'^  Whu*s  teit  dans yur  jambs.'*  Whur*s  that  inclining  and  talkin  about  the  messiah so  cloover.'*  A  true's  to  your  trefling!  Whure  yu!
—  Trinathan  partnick  dieudonnay.  Have  you  seen  her.'* Typette,  my  tactile  O !
—  Are  you  in  your  fatherick,  lonely  one.'*
—  The  same.  Three  persons.  Have  you  seen  my  darling  only one.'*  I  am  sohohold!
—  What  are  yu  shevering  about,  ultramontane,  like  a  houn.'* Is  there  cold  on  ye,  doraphobian.'*  Or  do  yu  want  yur  primafairy schoolmam.'*
—  The  woods  of  fogloot!  O  mis  padredges!
—  Whisht  awhile,  greyleg!  The  duck  is  rising  and  you'll  wake that  stand  of  plover.  I  know  that  place  better  than  anyone.  Sure,
478
I  used  to  be  always  overthere  on  the  fourth  day  at  my  grand- mother's place,  Tear-nan-Ogre,  my  little  grey  home  in  the  west, in  or  about  Mayo  when  the  long  dog  gave  tongue  and  they coursing  the  marches  and  they  straining  at  the  leash.  Tortoise- shell  for  a  guineagould!  Burb!  Burb!  Burb!  Follow  me  up Tucurlugh!  That's  the  place  for  the  claire  oysters,  Polldoody, County  Conway.  I  never  knew  how  rich  I  was  like  another  story  in the  zoedone  of  the  zephyros,  strolling  and  strolling,  carrying  my dragoman.  Meads  Marvel,  thass  withumpronouceable  tail,  along the  shore.  Do  you  know  my  cousin,  Mr  Jasper  Dougal  that keeps  the  Anchor  on  the  Mountain,  the  parson's  son,  Jasper  of the  Tuns,  Pat  Whateveryournameis.'^
—  Dood  and  I  dood.  The  wolves  of  Fochlut!  By  Whydoyou- callme.^  Do  not  flingamejig  to  the  twolves!
—  Turcafiera  amd  that's  a  good  wan  right  enough!  Wooluvs no  less!
—  One  moment  now,  if  I  foreshorten  the  bloss  on  your bleather.  Encroachement  spells  erosion.  Dunlin  and  turnstone augur  us  where,  how  and  when  best  as  to  burial  of  carcass,  fuse- lage of  dump  and  committal  of  noisance.  But,  since  you  invocate austers  for  the  trailing  of  vixens,  I  would  like  to  send  a  cormo- rant around  this  blue  lagoon.  Tell  me  now  this.  You  told  my larned  friend  rather  previously,  a  moment  since,  about  this  mound or  barrow.  Now  I  suggest  to  you  that  ere  there  was  this  plague- burrow,  as  you  seem  to  call  it,  there  was  a  burialbattell,  the  boat of  millions  of  years.  Would  you  bear  me  out  in  that,  relatively speaking,  with  her  jackstaff  jerking  at  her  penny  ladders,  why not,  and  sizing  a  fair  sail,  knowest  thout  the  kind.'*  The  Pourquoi Pas^  bound  for  Weissduwasland,  that  fourmaster  barquentine, Webster  says,  our  ship  that  ne're  returned.  The  Frenchman,  I  say, was  an  orangeboat.  He  is  a  boat.  You  see  him.  The  both  how you  see  is  they!  Draken  af  Danemork!  Sacked  it  or  ate  it.'*  What! Hennu!  Spake  ab  laut!
— Couch,  cortege,  ringbarrow,  dungcairn.  Beseek  the  runes and  see  the  longurn!  Allmaun  away  when  you  hear  the  gang- horn.  And  meet  Nautsen.  Ess  Ess.  O  ess.  Warum  night!  Con-
479
ning  two  lay  payees.  Norsker.  Her  raven  flag  was  out,  the slaver.  I  trow  pon  good,  jordan's  scaper,  good's  barnet  and trustyman.  Crouch  low,  you  pigeons  three!  Say,  call  that  girl  with the  tan  tress  awn!  Call  Wolfhound!  Wolf  of  the  sea.  Folchu! Folchu !
—  Very  good  now.  That  folklore's  straight  from  the  ass  his mouth.  I  will  crusade  on  with  the  parent  ship,  weather  prophet- ting,  far  away  from  those  green  hills,  a  station,  Ireton  tells  me, bonofide  for  keeltappers,  now  to  come  to  the  midnight  middy on  this  levantine  ponenter.  From  Daneland  sailed  the  oxeyed man,  now  mark  well  what  I  say.
—  Magnus  Spadebeard,  korsets  krosser,  welsher  perfyddye. A  destroyer  in  our  port.  Signed  to  me  with  his  baling  scoop.  Laid bare  his  breastpaps  to  give  suck,  to  suckle  me.  Ecce  Hagios Chrisman!
—  Oh,  Jeyses,  fluid!  says  the  poisoned  well.  Futtfishy  the First.  Hootchcopper's  enkel  at  the  navel  manuvres!
—  Hep!  Hello  there.  Bill  of  old  Bailey!  Whu's  he.^^  Whu's this  lad,  why  the  pups.'^
—  Hunkalus  Childared  Easterheld.  It's  his  lost  chance, Emania.  Ware  him  well.
—  Hey!  Did  you  dream  you  were  ating  your  own  tripe, acushla,  that  you  tied  yourself  up  that  wrynecky  fix.'^
—  I  see  now.  We  move  in  the  beast  circuls.  Grimbarb  and pancercrucer !  You  took  the  words  out  of  my  mouth.  A  child's dread  for  a  dragon  vicefather.  Hillcloud  encompass  us!  You mean  you  lived  as  milky  at  their  lyceum,  couard,  while  you learned,  volp  volp,  to  howl  yourself  wolfwise.  Dyb!  Dyb!  Do your  best.
—  I  am  dob  dob  dobbling  like  old  Booth's,  courteous.  The cubs  are  after  me,  it  zeebs,  the  whole  totem  pack,  vuk  vuk  and vuk  vuk  to  them,  for  Robinson's  shield.
—  Scents  and  gouspils!  The  animal  jangs  again!  Find  the fingall  harriers!  Here  howl  me  wiseacre's  hat  till  I  die  of  the milkman's  lupus!
—  What?  Wolfgang.'^  Whoah!  Talk  very  slowe!
480
5
—  Hail  him  heathen^  heal  him  holystone!
Courser^  Recourser^  Changechild  ?
Eld  as  endall^  earth  ?
—  A  cataleptic  mithyphallic !  Was  this  Totem  Fulcrum  Est Ancestor  yu  hald  in  Dies  Eirae  where  no  spider  webbeth  or Anno  Mundi  ere  bawds  plied  in  SkifFstrait?  Be  fair,  Chris!
—  Dream.  Ona  nonday  I  sleep.  I  dreamt  of  a  somday.  Of  a wonday  I  shall  wake.  Ah!  May  he  have  now  of  here  fearfilled me!  Sinflowed,  O  sinflowed!  Fia!  Fia!  Befurcht  christ!
—  I  have  your  tristich  now;  it  recurs  in  three  times  the  same differently  (there  is  such  a  fui  fui  story  which  obtains  of  him): comming  nown  from  the  asphalt  to  the  concrete,  from  the  human historic  brute,  Finnsen  Faynean,  occeanyclived,  to  this  same vulganized  hillsir  from  yours,  Mr  Tupling  Toun  of  Morning de  Heights,  with  his  lavast  flow  and  his  rambling  undergroands, would  he  reoccur  Ad  Horam,  as  old  Romeo  Rogers,  in  city  or county,  and  your  sure  ob,  or  by,  with  or  from  an  urb,  of  you know  the  differenciabus,  as  brauchbarred  in  apabhramsa,  sierrah ! We  speak  of  Gun,  the  farther.  And  in  the  locative.  Bap!  Bap!
—  Ouer  Tad,  Hellig  Babbau,  whom  certayn  orbits  assertant re  humeplace  of  Chivitats  Ei,  Smithwick,  Rhonnda,  Kaledon, Salem  (Mass),  Childers,  Argos  and  Duthless.  Well,  I  am  advised he  might  in  a  sense  be  both  nevertheless,  every  at  man  like  my- self, suffix  it  to  say,  Abrahamsk  and  Brookbear!  By  him  it  was done  bapka,  by  me  it  was  gone  into,  to  whom  it  will  beblive, Mushame,  Mushame !  I  am  afraid  you  could  not  heave  ahore  one of  your  own  old  stepstones,  barnabarnabarn,  over  a  stumble- down  wall  here  in  Huddlestown  to  this  classic  Noctuber  night but  itandthey  woule  binge,  much  as  vecious,  off  the  dosshouse back  of  a  racerider  in  his  truetoflesh  colours,  either  handicapped on  her  flat  or  barely  repeating  himself.  That  is  a  tiptip  tim  oldy faher  now  the  man  I  go  in  fear  of.  Tommy  Terracotta,  and  he could  be  all  your  and  my  das,  the  brodar  of  the  founder  of  the father  of  the  finder  of  the  pfander  of  the  pfunder  of  the  furst  man in  Ranelagh,  fue!  fue!  Petries  and  violet  ice  (I  am  yam,  as  Me and  Tam  Tower  used  to  j agger  pemmer  it,  over  at  the  house  of
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Eddy's  Christy,  meaning  Dodgfather,  Dodgson  and  Coo)  and spiriduous  sanction!
—  Breeze  softly.  Aures  are  aureas.  Hau's  his  naun?
—  Me  das  has  or  oreils.  Piercey,  piercey,  piercey,  piercey!
—  White  eyeluscious  and  muddyhorsebroth !  Pig  Pursyriley! But  where  do  we  get  off,  chiseller?
—  Haltstille,  Lucas  and  Dublinn!  Vulva!  Vulva!  Vulva! Vulva!
—  Macdougal,  Adantic  City,  or  his  onagrass  that  is,  chuam and  coughan  1  I  would  go  near  identifying  you  from  your  stavro- tides,  Jong  of  Maho,  and  the  weslarias  round  your  yokohahat. And  that  O'mulanchonry  plucher  you  have  from  the  worst curst  of  Ireland,  Glwlwd  of  the  Mghtwg  Grwpp,  is  no  use  to you  either,  Johnny  my  donkeyschott.  Number  four,  fix  up  your spreadeagle  and  pull  your  weight!
—  Hooshin  hom  to  our  regional's  hin  and  the  gander  of Hayden.  Would  ye  ken  a  young  stepschuler  of  psychical  chiro- graphy,  the  name  of  Keven,  or  (let  outers  pray)  Evan  Vaughan, of  his  Posthorn  in  the  High  Street,  that  was  shooing  a  Guiney gagag,  Poulepinter,  that  found  the  dogumen  number  one,  I would  suggest,  an  illegible  downfumbed  by  an  unelgible?
—  If  I  do  know  sinted  sageness?  Sometimes  he  would  keep silent  for  a  few  minutes  as  if  in  prayer  and  clasp  his  forehead  and during  the  time  he  would  be  thinking  to  himself  and  he  would not  mind  anybody  who  would  be  talking  to  him  or  crying stinking  fish.  But  I  no  way  need  you,  stroke  oar  nor  your  quick handles.  Your  too  farfar  a  cock  of  the  north  there,  Matty  Armagh, and  your  due  south  so.
—  South  I  see.  You're  up-in-Leal-Ulster  and  I'm-free-Down- in-Easia,  this  is  much  better.  He  is  cured  by  faith  who  is  sick  of fate.  The  prouts  who  will  invent  a  writing  there  ultimately  is  the poeta,  still  more  learned,  who  discovered  the  raiding  there  origin- ally. That's  the  point  of  eschatology  our  book  of  kills  reaches for  now  in  soandso  many  counterpoint  words.  What  can't  be coded  can  be  decorded  if  an  ear  aye  sieze  what  no  eye  ere  grieved for.  Now,  the  doctrine  obtains,  we  have  occasioning  cause  caus-
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ing  effects  and  affects  occasionally  recausing  altereffects.  Or  I will  let  me  take  it  upon  myself  to  suggest  to  twist  the  penman's tale  posterwise.  The  gist  is  the  gist  of  Shaum  but  the  hand  is the  hand  of  Sameas.  Shan  -  Shim  -  Schung.  There  is  a  strong suspicion  on  counterfeit  Kevin  and  we  all  remember  ye  in  child- hood's reverye.  Tis  the  bells  of  scandal  that  gave  tune  to grumble  over  him  and  someone  between  me  and  thee.  He  would preach  to  the  two  turkies  and  dipdip  all  the  dindians,  this  master the  abbey,  and  give  gold  tidings  to  all  that  are  in  the  bonze  age of  anteproresurrectionism  to  entrust  their  easter  neappearance to  Borsaiolini's  house  of  hatcraft.  He  is  our  sent  on  the  firm. Now,  have  you  reasonable  hesitancy  in  your  mind  about  him after  fourpriest  redmass  or  are  you  in  your  post?  Tell  me  andat sans  dismay.  Leap,  pard!
—  Fierappel  putting  years  on  me !  Nwo,  nwo !  This  bolt  in hand  be  my  worder!  I'll  see  you  moved  farther,  blarneying Marcantonio!  What  cans  such  wretch  to  say  to  I  or  how  have  My to  doom  with  him?  We  were  wombful  of  mischief  and  initium- wise,  everliking  a  liked,  hairytop  on  heeltipper,  alpybecca's  un- wachsibles,  an  ikeson  am  ikeson,  that  babe,  imprincipially,  my leperd  brethern,  the  Puer,  ens  innocens  of  but  fifteen  primes. Ya  all  in  your  kalblionized  so  trilustriously  standing  the  real school,  to  be  upright  as  his  match,  healtheous  as  is  egg,  saviour so  the  salt  and  good  wee  braod,  parallaling  buttyr,  did  I  alter- mobile  him  to  a  flare  insiding  hogsfat.  Been  ike  bins  kinder- gardien?  I  know  not,  O  cashla,  I  am  sure  offed  habitand  this undered  heaven,  meis  enfins,  contrasting  the  first  mover,  that father  I  ascend  fromming  knows,  as  I  think,  caused  whom  I,  a self  the  sign,  came  remaining  being  dwelling  ayr,  plage  and watford  as  to  I  was  eltered  impostulance  possessing  my  future state  falling  towards  thrice  myself  resting  the  childhide  when I  received  the  habit  following  Mezienius  connecting  Mezosius including  was  verted  embracing  a  palegrim,  circumcised  my hairs.  Oh  laud,  and  removed  my  clothes  from  patristic  motives, meas  minimas  culpads!  Permitting  this  ick  (ickle  coon  icoocoon) crouched  low  entering  humble  down,  dead  thrue  mean  scato-
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logical  past,  making  so  smell  partaking  myself  to  confess  abiding clean  tumbluponing  yous  octopods,  mouthspeech  allno  finger- force,  owning  my  mansuetude  before  him  attaching  Audeon's prostratingwards  mine  sore  accompanying  my  thrain  tropps offering  meye  eyesalt,  what  I  (the  person  whomin  I  now  am)  did not  do,  how  he  to  say  essied  anding  how  he  was  making  errand andanding  how  he  all  locutey  sunt,  why  did  you,  my  sexth  best friend,  blabber  always  you  would  be  so  delated  to  back  me,  then ersed  irredent,  toppling  Humphrey  hugging  Nephew,  old  begge- laut,  designing  such  post  sitting  his  night  office?  Annexing  then, producing  Saint  Momuluius,  you  snub  around  enclosing  your moving  motion  touching  the  other  catachumens  continuing  say providing  append  of  signature  quoniam  you  will  celebrand  my dirthdags  quoniam,  concealed  a  concealer,  I  am  twosides  uppish, a  mockbelief  insulant,  ending  none  meer  hyber  irish.  Well,  chunk your  dimned  chink,  before  avtokinatown,  forasmuch  as  many have  tooken  in  hand  to,  I  may  as  well  humbly  correct  that  ves- pian  now  in  case  of  temporalities.  I've  my  pockets  full  comeplay of  you  laycreated  cardonals,  ap  rince,  ap  rowler,  ap  rancer,  ap rowdey!  Improperial!  I  saved  you  fore  of  the  Hekkites  and  you loosed  me  hind  bland  Harry  to  the  burghmote  of  Aud  Dub.  I teachet  you  in  fair  time,  my  elders,  the  W.X.Y.Z.  and  P.Q.R.S.  of legatine  powers  and  you,  Ailbey  and  Ciardeclan,  I  learn,  episcop- ing  me  altogether,  circumdeditioned  me.  I  brought  you  from  the loups  of  Lazary  and  you  have  remembered  my  lapsus  langways. Washywatchywataywatashy!  Oirasesheorebukujibun!  Wata- cooshy  lot!  Mind  of  poison  is.  That  time  thing  think!  Honorific remembrance  to  spit  humble  makes.  My  ruridecanal  caste  is  a  cut above  you  peregrines.  Aye  vouchu  to  rumanescu.  See  the  leabhour of  my  generations !  Has  not  my  master,  Theophrastius  Spheropneu- maticus,  written  that  the  spirit  is  from  the  upper  circle?  Tm  of  the ochlocracy  with  Prestopher  Palumbus  and  Porvus  Parrio.  Soa koa  Kelly  Terry  per  Chelly  Derry  lepossette.  Ho  look  at  my jailbrand  Exquovis  and  sequencias  High  marked  on  me  fake- similar  in  the  foreign  by  Pappagallus  and  Pumpusmugnus: ahem !  Anglicey:  Eggs  squawfish  lean  yoe  nun  feed  marecurious,
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Sagart  can  self  laud  nilobstant  to  Lowman  Catlick's  patrician morning  coat  of  arms  with  my  High  tripenniferry  cresta  and caudal  mottams:  Itch  dean:  which  Gaspey,  Otto  and  Sauer,  he renders:  echo  stay  so!  Addressing  eat  or  not  eat  body  Yours am.  And,  Mind,  praisegad,  is  the  first  praisonal  Egoname  Yod heard  boissboissy  in  Moy  Bog's  domesday.  Hastan  the  vista!  Or in  alleman:  Suck  at!
—  Suck  it  yourself,  sugarstick!  Misha,  Yid  think  whose  was asking  to  luckat  your  sore  toe  or  to  taste  your  gaspy,  hot  and sour!  Ichthyan!  Hegvat  tosser!  Gags  be  plebsed!  Between  his voyous  and  her  consinnantes !  Thugg,  Dirke  and  Hacker  with Rose  Lankester  and  Blanche  Yorke!  Are  we  speachin  d'anglas landadge  or  are  you  sprakin  sea  Djoytsch?  Oy  soy,  Bleseyblasey, where  to  go  is  knowing  remain?  Become  quantity  that  discourse bothersome  when  what  do?  Knowing  remain?  Come  back,  baddy wrily,  to  Bullydamestough !  Cum  him,  buddy  rowly,  with  me! What  about  your  thruppenny  croucher  of  an  old  fellow,  me  boy, through  the  ages,  tell  us,  eh?  What  about  Brian's  the  Vauntand- onlieme.  Master  Monk,  eh,  eh,  Spira  in  Me  Domino^  spear  me Doyne!  Fat  prize  the  bonafide  peachumpidgeonlover,  eh,  eh, eh,  esquire  earwugs,  escusado,  of  Jenkins'  Area,  with  his  I've  Ivy under  his  tangue  and  the  hohallo  to  his  dullaphone,  before  there was  a  sound  in  the  world?  How  big  was  his  boost  friend  and  be shanghaied  to  him?  The  swaaber!  The  twicer,  trifoaled  in  Wan- stable!  Loud's  curse  to  him!  If  you  hored  him  outerly  as  we harum  lubberintly,  from  morning  rice  till  nightmale,  with  his drums  and  bones  and  hums  in  drones  your  innereer'd  heerdly heer  he.  Ho  ha  hi  he  hung!  Tsing  tsing!
—  Me  no  angly  mo,  me  speakee  Yellman's  lingas.  Nicey  Doc Mistel  Lu,  please!  Me  no  pigey  ludiments  all  same  numpa  one Topside  Tellmastoly  fella.  Me  pigey  savvy  a  singasong  anothel time.  Pleasie,  Mista  Lukie  Walkie!  Josadam  cowbelly  maam belongame  shepullamealahmalong,  begolla,  Jackinaboss  belonga- she;  plentymuch  boohoomeo.
—  Hell's  Confucium  and  the  Elements !  Tootoo  moohootch ! Thot's  never  the  postal  cleric,  checking  chinchin  chat  with  nip-
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ponnippers!  Halt  there  sob  story  to  your  lambdad's  tale!  Are you  roman  cawthrick  432?
—  Quadrigue  my  yoke. Triple  my  tryst. Tandem  my  sire,
—  History  as  her  is  harped.  Too  the  toone  your  owldfrow  lied of.  Tantris,  hattrick,  tryst  and  parting,  by  vowelglide!  I  feel your  thrilljoy  mouths  overtspeaking,  O  dragoman,  hands  under- studium.  Plunger  words  what  paddle  verbed.  Mere  man's  mime: God  has  jest.  The  old  order  changeth  and  lasts  like  the  first. Every  third  man  has  a  chink  in  his  conscience  and  every  other woman  has  a  jape  in  her  mind.  Now,  fix  on  the  little  fellow  in  my eye,  Minucius  Mandrake,  and  follow  my  little  psychosinology, poor  armer  in  slingslang.  Now  I,  the  lord  of  Tuttu,  am  placing that  inital  T  square  of  burial  jade  upright  to  your  temple  a moment.  Do  you  see  anything,  templar.^
—  I  see  a  blackfrinch  pliestrycook  .  .  .  who  is  carrying  on his  brainpan  ...  a  cathedral  of  lovejelly  for  his  .  .  .  Tiens^  how he  is  like  somebodies !
—  Pious,  a  pious  person.  What  sound  of  tistress  isoles  my ear.'^  I  horizont  the  same,  this  serpe  with  ramshead,  and  lay  it lightly  to  your  lip  a  little.  What  do  you  feel,  liplove.'*
—  I  feel  a  fine  lady  .  .  .  floating  on  a  stillstream  of isisglass  .  .  .  with  gold  hair  to  the  bed  .  .  .  and  white  arms  to  the twinklers  ...  O  la  la!
—  Purely,  in  a  pure  manner.  O,  sey  but  swift  and  still  a  vain essaying!  Trothed  today,  trenned  tomorrow.  I  invert  the  initial of  your  tripartite  and  sign  it  sternly,  and  adze  to  girdle,  on  your breast.  What  do  you  hear,  breastplate.^
—  I  ahear  of  a  hopper  behidin  the  door  slappin  his  feet  in  a pool  of  bran.
—  Bellax,  acting  like  a  bellax.  And  so  the  triptych  vision passes.  Out  of  a  hillside  into  a  hillside.  Fairshee  fading.  Again am  I  deliciated  by  the  picaresqueness  of  your  irmages.  Now, the  oneir  urge  iterimpellant,  I  feel  called  upon  to  ask  did  it ever  occur  to  you,  qua  you,  prior  to  this,  by  a  stretch  of
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your  iberborealic  imagination,  when  it's  quicker  than  this  quack- ing that  you  might,  bar  accidens,  be  very  largely  substituted  in potential  secession  from  your  next  life  by  a  complementary  char- acter, voices  apart?  Upjack!  I  shudder  for  your  thought!  Think! Put  from  your  mind  that  and  take  on  trust  this.  The  next  word depends  on  your  answer.
—  I'm  thinking  to,  thogged  be  thenked!  I  was  just  trying  to think  when  I  thought  I  felt  a  flea.  I  might  have.  I  cannot  say  for it  is  of  no  significance  at  all.  Once  or  twice  when  I  was  in  odin- burgh  with  my  addlefoes,  Jake  Jones,  the  handscabby,  when  I thinkled  I  wore  trying  on  my  garden  substisuit,  boy's  apert,  at my  nexword  nighboor's,  and  maybe  more  largely  nor  you quosh  yet  you,  messmate,  realise.  A  few  times,  so  to  shape,  I  chanced to  be  stretching,  in  the  shadow  as  I  thought,  the  liferight  out of  myself  in  my  ericulous  imaginating.  I  felt  feeling  a  half  Scotch and  pottage  like  roung  my  middle  ageing  like  Bewley  in  the baste  so  that  I  indicate  out  to  myself  and  I  swear  my  gots  how that  I'm  not  meself  at  all,  no  jolly  fear,  when  I  realise  bimiselves how  becomingly  I  to  be  going  to  become.
—  O,  is  that  the  way  with  you,  you  craythur.^  In  the  becom- ing was  the  weared,  wontnat!  Hood  maketh  not  frere.  The  voice is  the  voice  of  jokeup,  I  fear.  Are  you  imitation  Roma  now  or Amor  now.  You  have  all  our  empathies,  eh,  Mr  Trickpat,  if  you don't  mind,  that  is,  aside  from  sings  and  mush,  answering  to  my straight  question.^
—  God  save  the  monk!  I  won't  mind  this  is,  answering  to your  strict  crossqueets,  whereas  it  would  be  as  unethical  for  me now  to  answer  as  it  would  have  been  nonsensical  for  you  then not  to  have  asked.  Same  no  can,  home  no  will,  gangin  I  am. Gangang  is  Mine  and  I  will  return.  Out  of  my  name  you  call  me, Leelander.  But  in  my  shelter  you'll  miss  me.  When  Lapac  walks backwords  he's  darkest  horse  in  Capalisoot.  You  knew  me  once but  you  won't  know  me  twice.  I  am  simpliciter  arduus^  ars  of the  schoo,  Freeday's  child  in  loving  and  thieving.
—  My  child,  know  this!  Some  portion  of  that  answer  appears to  have  been  token  by  you  from  the  writings  of  Saint  Synodius,
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that  first  liar.  Let  us  hear,  therefore,  as  you  honour  and  obey  the queen,  whither  the  indwellingness  of  that  which  shamefieth  be entwined  of  one  or  atoned  of  two.  Let  us  hear,  Art  simplicissime !
— Dearly  beloved  brethren:  Bruno  and  Nola,  ley mon  bogholders and  stationary  lifepartners  off  orangey  Saint  Nessau  Street,  were explaining  it  avicendas  all  round  each  other  ere  yesterweek  out of  Ibn  Sen  and  Ipanzussch.  When  himupon  Nola  Bruno  mono- polises his  egobruno  most  unwillingly  seses  by  the  mortal  powers alionola  equal  and  opposite  brunoipso,  id  est^  eternally  provoking alio  opposite  equally  as  provoked  as  Bruno  at  being  eternally opposed  by  Nola.  Poor  omniboose,  singalow  singelearum:  so is  he!
—  One  might  hear  in  their  beyond  that  lionroar  in  the  air again,  the  zoohoohoom  of  Felin  make  Call.  Bruin  goes  to  Noble, aver  who  is.'^  If  is  itsen.'^  Or  you  mean  Nolans  but  Volans,  an alibi,  do  you  Mutemalice,  suffering  unegoistically  from  the  singular but  positively  enjoying  on  the  plural.^  Dustify  of  that  sole,  you breather !  Ruemember,  blither,  thou  must  lie !
— Oyessoyess!  I  never  dramped  of  prebeing  a  postman  but I  mean  in  ostralian  someplace,  mults  deeply  belubdead;  my allaboy  brother,  Negoist  Cabler,  of  this  city,  whom  'tis  better ne'er  to  name,  my  said  brother,  the  skipgod,  expuUed  for looking  at  churches  from  behind,  who  is  sender  of  the  Hullo Eve  Cenograph  in  prose  and  worse  every  AUso's  night.  High Brazil  Brandan's  Deferred,  midden  Erse  clare  language,  Nought- noughtnought  nein.  Assass.  Dublire,  per  Neuropaths.  Punk. Starving  today  plays  punk  opening  tomorrow  two  plays  punk wire  splosh  how  two  plays  punk  Cabler.  Have  you  forgotten poor  Alby  Sobrinos,  Geoff,  you  blighter,  identifiable  by  the necessary  white  p^ch  on  his  rear.'^  How  he  went  to  his  swilters- land  after  his  lungs,  my  sad  late  brother,  before  his  coglionial expancian.'^  Won't  you  join  me  in  a  small  halemerry,  a  bottle  of the  best,  for  wellmet  Capeler,  united  Irishmen,  what  though  pre- ferring the  stranger,  the  coughs  and  the  itches  and  the  minnies and  the  ratties  the  opulose  and  bilgenses,  for  of  his  was  the patriots  mistaken.  The  heart  that  wast  our  Graw  McGree!
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Yet  be  there  some  who  mourn  him,  concluding  him  dead, and  more  there  be  that  wait  astand.  His  fuchs  up  the  staires and  the  ladgers  in  his  haires,  he  ought  to  win  that  V.V.C, Fullgrapce  for  an  endupper,  half  muxy  on  his  whole!  Would he  were  even  among  the  lost!  From  ours  bereft  beyond  be- longs. Oremus  poor  fraternibus  that  he  may  yet  escape  the gallews  and  still  remain  ours  faithfully  departed.  I  wronged  you. I  never  want  to  see  more  of  bad  men  but  I  want  to  learn  from any  on  the  airse,  like  Tass  with  much  thanks,  here's  ditto,  if he  lives  sameplace  in  the  antipathies  of  austrasia  or  anywhere with  my  fawngest  on  his  hooshmoney,  safe  and  damned,  or has  hopped  it  or  who  can  throw  any  lime  on  the  sop  jack, my  fond  fosther,  E.  Obiit  Nolan,  The  Workings,  N.S.W., his  condition  off  the  Venerable  Jerrybuilt,  not  belonging  to these  parts,  who,  I  remember  ham  to  me,  when  we  were  like bro  and  sis  over  our  castor  and  porridge,  with  his  roamin  I suppose,  expecting  for  his  clarenx  negus,  a  teetotum  abstainer. He  feels  he  ought  to  be  as  asamed  of  me  as  me  to  be  ashunned  of him.  We  were  in  one  class  of  age  like  to  two  clots  of  egg.  I  am most  beholding  to  him,  my  namesick,  as  we  sayed  it  in  our  Am- harican,  through  the  Doubly  Tele  wisher.  Outpassed  hearts  wag short  pertimes.  Worndown  shoes  upon  his  feet,  to  whose  re- dress no  tongue  can  tell!  In  his  hands  a  boot!  Spare  me,  do,  a copper  or  two  and  happy  I'll  hope  you'll  be!  It  will  pleased me  behind  with  thanks  from  before  and  love  to  self  and  all  I remain  here  your  truly  friend.  I  am  no  scholar  but  I  loved  that man  who  has  africot  lupps  with  the  moonshane  in  his  profile, my  shemblable!  My  freer!  I  call  you  my  half  brother  because you  in  your  soberer  otiumic  moments  remind  me  deeply  of  my natural  say  when  brothel  in  feed,  hop  and  jollity,  S.  H.  Devitt, that  benighted  irismaimed,  who  is  tearly  belaboured  by  Sydney and  Alibany.
—  As  you  sing  it  it's  a  study.  That  letter  selfpenned  to  one's other,  that  neverperfect  everplanned,^
—  This  nonday  diary,  this  allnights  newseryreel.
—  My  dear  sir!  In  this  wireless  age  any  owl  rooster  can  peck
489
up  bostoons.  But  whoewaxed  he  so  anquished?  Was  he  vector victored  of  victim  vexed?
—  Mighty  sure!  Way  way  for  his  wehicul!  A  parambolator ram  into  his  bagsmall  when  he  was  reading  alawd,  with  two  eco- lites  and  he's  been  failing  of  that  kink  in^his  arts  over  sense.  ^'^^
— Madonagh  and  Chiel,  idealist  leading  a  double  life !  But  who, for  the  brilliance  of  brothers,  is  the  Nolan  as  appearant  nominally?
—  Mr  Nolan  is  pronuminally  Mr  Gottgab.'
—  I  get  it.  By  hearing  his  thing  about  a  person  one  begins  to place  him  for  a  certain  in  true.  You  reeker,  he  stands  pat  for you  before  a  direct  object  in  the  feminine.  I  see.  By  maiden sname.  Now,  I  am  earnestly  asking  you,  and  putting  it  as between  this  yohou  and  that  houmonymh,  will  just  you  search through  your  gabgut  memoirs  for  all  of  two  minutes  for  this impersonating  pronolan,  fairhead  on  foulshoulders.  Would  it  be in  twofold  truth  an  untaken  mispatriate,  too  fullfuUy  true  and rereally  a  doblinganger  much  about  your  own  medium  with  a sandy  whiskers?  Poke  me  nabs  in  the  ribs  and  pick  the  erstwort out  of  his  mouth.
—  Treble  Stauter  of  Holy  Baggot  Street,  formerly  Sword- meat,  who  I  surpassed  him  lately  for  four  and  six  bringing  home the  Christmas,  as  heavy  as  music,  hand  to  eyes  on  the  peer  for Noel's  Arch,  in  blessed  foster's  place  is  doing  the  dirty  on  me with  his  tantrums  and  all  these  godforgiven  kilowatts  I'd  be better  off  without.  She's  write  to  him  she's  levt  by  me,  Jenny Rediviva!  Toot!  Better  for  you,  Mr  Nobru.  Toot  toot!  Better  for you,  Mr  Anol !  This  is  the  way  we.  Of  a  redtettetterday  morning.
—  When  your  contraman  from  Tuwarceathay  is  looking  for righting  that  is  not  a  good  sign?  Not?
—  I  speak  truly,  it's  a  shower  sign  that  it's  not.
—  What  though  it  be  for  the  sow  of  his  heart?  If  even  she were  a  good  pool  Pegeen?
—  If  she  ate  your  windowsill  you  wouldn't  say  sow.
—  Would  you  be  surprised  after  that  my  asking  have  you  a bull,  a  bosbully,  with  a  whistle  in  his  tail  to  scare  other  birds?
—  I  would.
490
—  Were  you  with  Sindy  and  Sandy  attending  Goliath,  a  bull?
—  You'd  make  me  sag  what  you  like  to.  I  was  intending  a funeral.  Simply  and  samply.
—  They  are  too  wise  of  solbing  their  silbings.'^
—  And  both  croon  to  the  same  theme.
—  Tugbag  is  Baggut's,  when  a  Crispin  sokolist  besoops  juts kamps  or  clapperclaws  an  irvingite  offthedocks.  A  luckchange,  I see.  Thinking  young  through  the  muddleage  spread,  the  moral fat  his  mental  leans  on.  We  can  cop  that  with  our  straat  that  is called  corkscrewed.  It  would  be  the  finest  boulevard  billy  for  a mile  in  every  direction,  from  Lismore  to  Cape  Brendan,  Patrick's, if  they  took  the  bint  out  of  the  mittle  of  it.  You  told  of  a  tryst too,  two  a  tutu.  I  wonder  now,  without  releasing  seeklets  of  the alcove,  turturs  or  raabraabs,  have  I  heard  mention  of  whose  name anywhere.^  Mallowlane  or  Demaasch.'^  Strike  us  up  either  end Have  You  Erred  off  Van  Homper  or  Ehell  Teresa  Kane,
—  Marak!  Marak!  Marak!
He  drapped  has  draraks  an  Mansianhase  parak And  he  had  ta  barraw  tha  watarcrass  shartclaths  aff  tha  ark- hashap  af  Yarak!
—  Braudribnob's  on  the  bummel.'^
—  And  lillypets  on  the  lea.
—  A  being  again  in  becomings  again.  From  the  sallies  to the  allies  through  their  central  power.'*
—  Pirce!  Perce!  Quick!  Queck!
—  O  Tara's  thrush,  the  sharepusher!  And  he  said  he  was  only taking  the  average  grass  temperature  for  green  Thurdsday,  the blutchy  scaliger!  Who  you  know  the  musselman,  his  muscle- mum  and  mistlemam.'*  Maomi,  Mamie,  My  Mo  Mum!  He  loves a  drary  lane.  Feel  Phylliscitations  to  daff  Mr  Hairwigger  who has  just  hadded  twinned  little  curls!  He  was  resting  between horrockses'  sheets,  wailing  for  white  warfare,  prooboor  welsht- breton,  and  unbiassed  by  the  embarrassment  of  disposal  but,  the first  woking  day,  by  Thunder,  he  stepped  into  the  breach  and  put on  his  recriution  trousers  and  riding  apron  in  Baltic  Bygrad,  the old  soggy,  was  when  the  bold  bhuoys  of  Iran  wouldn't  join  up.
491
—  How  voice  you  that,  nice  Sandy  man?  Not  large  goodman is  he,  Sandy  nice.  Ask  him  this  one  minute  upthrow  inner  lotus of  his  burly  ear  womit  he  dropped  his  Bass's  to  P  flat.  And  for that  he  was  allaughed.^  And  then  baited?  The  whole  gammat?
—  Loonacied !  Marterdyed ! !  Madwakemiherculossed ! ! !  Ju- dascessed ! ! ! !  Pairaskivvymenassed ! ! ! ! !  Luredogged ! ! ! ! ! !  And, needatellye,  faulscrescendied !!!!!!!
—  Dias  domnas!  Dolled  to  dolthood?  And  Annie  Belittle, his  daintree  diva,  in  deltic  dwilights,  singing  him  henpecked  rusish through  the  bars?  My  Wolossay's  wild  as  the  Crasnian  Sea! Grabashag,  groogy,  scoop  and  Fll  cure  ye!  Mother  of  emeralds, ara  poog  neighbours!
—  Capilla,  Rubrilla  and  Melcamomilla!  Dauby,  dauby,  with- out dulay!  Well,  I  beg  to  traverse  same  above  statement  by  saxy luters  in  their  back  haul  of  Coalcutter  what  reflects  upon  my administrants  of  slow  poisoning  as  my  dodear  devere  revered mainhirr  was  confined  to  guardroom,  I  hindustand,  by  my  pint of  his  Filthered  pilsens  bottle  due  to  Zenaphiah  Holwell,  H  and J.  C.  S,  Which  I  was  bringing  up  my  quee  parapotacarry's  orders in  my  sedown  chair  with  my  mudfacepacket  from  my  cash chemist  and  family  drugger,  Surager  Dowling,  V.S.  to  our  aural surgeon,  Afamado  Hairductor  Achmed  Borumborad,  M.A.C.A, Sahib,  of  a  looi  Ombrilla  Street,  Syringa  padham,  Alleypulley,  to see  what  was  my  watergood,  my  mesical  wasserguss,  for  repairs done  by  boUworm  in  the  rere  of  pilch  knickers,  seven  yerds  to his  galandhar  pole  on  perch,  together  with  his  for  me  unfillable slopper,  property  of  my  deeply  forfear  revebereared,  who  is  costing us  mostfortunes  which  I  am  writing  in  mepetition  to  Kavanagh Djanaral,  when  he  was  sitting  him  humpbacked  in  dry  dryfilthy- heat  to  his  trinidads  pinslers  at  their  orpentings,  entailing  a laxative  tendency  to  mary,  especially  with  him  being  forbidden fruit  and  certified  by  his  sexular  clergy  to  have  as  badazmy emotional  volvular,  with  a  basketful  of  priesters  crossing  the singorgeous  to  aroint  him  with  tummy  moor's  maladies,  and thereinafter  liable  to  succumb  when  served  with  letters  potent below  the  belch,  if  my  rupee  repure  riputed  husbandship  H.R.R.
492
i
took  a  brief  one  in  his  shirtsails  out  of  the  alleged  given  mineral, telling  me  see  his  in  Foraignghistan  sambat  papers  Sunday  feac- tures  of  a  welcomed  aperrytiff  with  vallad  of  Erill  Pearcey  O he  never  battered  one  eagle's  before  paying  me  his  duty  on  my annaversary  to  the  parroteyes  list  in  my  nil  ensemble,  in  his  lazy- chair  but  he  hidded  up  my  hemifaces  in  all  my  mayarannies  and he  locked  plum  into  my  mirrymouth  like  Ysamasy  morning  in the  end  of  time,  with  the  so  light's  hope  on  his  ruddycheeks  and rawjaws  and,  my  charmer,  whom  I  dipped  my  hand  in,  he  simply showed  me  his  propendiculous  loadpoker,  Seaserpents  hisses sissastones,  which  was  as  then  is  produced  in  his  mansway  by this  wisest  of  the  Vikramadityationists,  with  the  remere  remind remure  remark,  in  his  gulughurutty:  Yran  for  parasites  with  rum for  the  turkeycockeys  so  Lithia,  M.D.,  as  this  is  for  Snooker, bort!
—  Which  was  said  by  whem  to  whom?
—  It  wham.  But  whim  I  can't  whumember.
—  Fantasy!  funtasy  on  fantasy,  amnaes  fantasies!  And  there  is nihil  nuder  under  the  clothing  moon.  When  Ota,  weewahrwificle of  Torquells,  bumpsed  her  dumpsydiddle  down  in  her  woolsark she  mode  our  heuteyleutey  girlery  of  peerlesses  to  set  up  in  all their  bombossities  of  feudal  fiertey,  fanned,  flounced  and  frangi- panned,  while  the  massstab  whereby  Ephialtes  has  exceeded  is  the measure,  simplex  mendaciis^  by  which  our  Outis  cuts  his  thruth. Arkaway  now!
—  Yerds  and  nudes  say  ayes  and  noes!  Vide!  Vide!
—  Let  Eivin  bemember  for  Gates  of  Gold  for  their  fadeless suns  berayed  her.  Irise,  Osirises!  Be  thy  mouth  given  unto  thee! For  why  do  you  lack  a  link  of  luck  to  poise  a  pont  of  perfect, peace On  the  vignetto  is  a  ragingoos.  The  overseer  of  the  house of  the  oversire  of  the  seas,  Nu-Men,  triumphant,  sayeth:  Fly  as the  hawk,  cry  as  the  corncrake,  Ani  Latch  of  the  postern  is  thy name;  shout!
—  My  heart,  my  mother !  My  heart,  my  coming  forth  of darkness!  They  know  not  my  heart,  O  coolun  dearast!  Mon gloomerie !  Mon  glamourie !  What  a  surpraise,  dear  Mr  Preacher,
493
I  to  hear  from  your  strawnummical  modesty!  Yes,  there  was that  skew  arch  of  chrome  sweet  home,  floodlit  up  above  the flabberghosted  farmament  and  bump  where  the  camel  got  the needle.  Talk  about  indecencies !  Ruby  and  beryl  and  chrysolite, jade,  sapphire,  jasper  and  lazul.
—  Orca  Bellona!  Heavencry  at  earthcall,  etnat  athos?  Extinct your  vulcanology  for  the  lava  of  Moltens !
—  It's  you  not  me's  in  erupting,  hecklar!
—  Ophiuchus  being  visible  above  thorizon,  muliercula  oc- cluded by  Satarn's  serpent  ring  system,  the  pisciolinnies  Nova Ardonis  and  Prisca  Parthenopea,  are  a  bonnies  feature  in  the northern  sky.  Ers,  Mores  and  Merkery  are  surgents  below  the  rim of  the  Zenith  Part  while  Arctura,  Anatolia,  Hesper  and  Mesembria weep  in  their  mansions  over  Noth,  Haste,  Soot  and  Waste.
—  Apep  and  Uachet!  Holy  snakes,  chase  me  charley,  Eva's got  barley  under  her  fluencies!  The  Ural  Mount  he's  on  the move  and  he'll  quivvy  her  with  his  strombolo!  Waddlewurst, the  bag  of  tow,  as  broad  above  as  he  is  below!  Creeping through  the  liongrass  and  bullsrusshius,  the  obesendean,  before the  Emfang  de  Maurya's  class,  in  Bill  Shasser's  Shotshrift  writing academy,  camouflaged  as  a  blancmange  and  maple  syrop !  Obei- sance so  their  sitinins  is  the  follicity  of  this  Orp!  Her  sheik  to Slave,  his  dick  to  Dave  and  the  fat  of  the  land  to  Guygas.  The treadmill  pebbledropper  haha  halfahead  overground  and  she'd only  chitschats  in  her  spanking  bee  bonetry,  Allapolloosa!  Up  the slanger!  Three  cheers  and  a  heva  heva  for  the  name  Dan  Magraw!
— The  giant  sun  is  in  his  emanence  but  which  is  chief  of  those white  dwarfees  of  which  he  ever  is  surabanded.'^  And  do  you  think I  might  have  being  his  seventh !  He  will  kitssle  me  on  melbaw. What  about  his  age.''  says  you.  What  about  it.''  says  I.  I  will confess  to  his  sins  and  blush  me  further.  I  would  misdemean  to rebuke  to  the  libels  of  snots  from  the  fleshambles,  the  canalles. Synamite  is  too  good  for  them.  Two  overthirties  in  shore  shor- ties. She's  askapot  at  Nile  Lodge  and  she's  citchincarry  at  the left  Mrs  Hamazum's.  Will  you  warn  your  old  habasund,  barking at  baggermen,  his  chokefull  chewing  his  chain?  Responsif  you
494
I
I
i
plais.  The  said  Sully,  a  barracker  associated  with  tinkers,  the blackhand,  Shovellyvans,  wreuter  of  annoyimgmost  letters  and skirriless  ballets  in  Parsee  Franch  who  is  Magrath's  thug  and smells  cheaply  of  Power's  spirits,  like  a  deepsea  dibbler,  and  he  is not  fit  enough  to  throw  guts  down  to  a  bear.  Sylphling  me when  is  a  maid  nought  a  maid  he  would  go  to  anyposs  length for  her!  So  long,  Sulleyman!  If  they  cut  his  nose  on  the  stitcher they  had  their  siven  good  reasons.  Here's  to  the  leglift  of  my snuff  and  trout  stockangt  henkerchoff,  orange  fin  with  a  mosaic of  dispensations  and  a  froren  black  patata,  from  my  church  milli- ner. When  Lynch  Brother,  Withworkers,  Friends  and  Company with  T.  C.  King  and  the  Warden  of  Gal  way  is  prepared  to stretch  him  sacred  by  the  powers  to  the  starlight,  L.B.W.  Hemp, hemp,  hurray!  says  the  captain  in  the  moonlight.  I  could  put him  under  my  pallyass  and  slepp  on  him  all  nights  as  I  would roll  myself  for  holy  poly  over  his  borrowing  places.  How  we  will make  laugh  over  him  together,  me  and  my  Riley  in  the  Vickar's bed!  Quink!  says  I.  He  cawls  to  me  Granny-stream- Auborne when  I  am  hiding  under  my  hair  from  him  and  I  cool  him  my Finnyking  he's  so  joyant  a  bounder.  Plunk!  said  he.  Inasmuch as  I  am  delightful  to  be  able  to  state,  with  the  joy  of  lifing  in  my forty  winkers,  that  a  handsome  sovereign  was  freely  pledged in  their  pennis  in  the  sluts  maschine,  alonging  wath  a  cherry- wickerkishabrack  of  maryfruit  under  Shadow  La  Rose,  to  both the  legintimate  lady  performers  of  display  unquestionable,  Elsebett and  Marryetta  Gunning,  H  2  C,  by  that  noblesse  of  leechers  at his  Saxontannery  with  motto  in  Wwalshe's  ffrenchllatin:  O'Neill saw  Queen  Molly's  pants:  and  much  admired  engraving,  meaning complet  manly  parts  during  alleged  recent  act  of  our  chief mergey  margey  magistrades,  five  itches  above  the  kneecap,  as required  by  statues.  V.I.C.5.6.  If  you  won't  release  me  stop  to please  me  up  the  leg  of  me.  Now  you  see!  Respect.  S.V.P. Your  wife.  Amn.  Anm.  Amm.  Ann.
—  You  wish  to  take  us,  Frui  Mria,  by  degrees,  as  artis  litter  arum- que  patrona  but  I  am  afraid,  my  poor  woman  of  that  same name,  what  with  your  silvanes  and  your  salvines,  you  are  misled.
495
—  Alas  for  livings'  pledjures !
—  Lordy  Daw  and  Lady  Don!  Uncle  Foozle  and  Aunty Jack!  Sure,  that  old  humbugger  was  boycotted  and  girlcutted in  debt  and  doom,  on  hill  and  haven,  even  by  the  show-the-flag flotilla,  as  I'm  given  now  to  understand,  illscAbed  in  all  the gratuitouses  and  conspued  in  the  takeyourhandaways.  Bumbty, tumbty.  Sot  on  a  Wall,  Mute  art  for  the  Million.  There  wasn't  an Archimandrite  of  Dane's  Island  and  the  townlands  nor  a  minx from  the  Isle  of  Woman  nor  a  one  of  the  four  cantins  nor  any  on the  whole  wheel  of  his  ecunemical  conciliabulum  nor  nogent ingen  meid  on  allad  the  hold  scurface  of  the  jorth  would  come next  or  nigh  him,  Mr  Eelwhipper^  seed  and  nursery  man,  or his  allgas  bumgalowre,  Auxilium  Meum  Solo  A  Domino  (Amsad), for  rime  or  ration,  from  piles  or  faces,  after  that.
—  All  ears  did  wag,  old  Eire  wake  as  Piers  Aurell  was  flapper- gangsted.
—  Recount!
—  I  have  it  here  to  my  fingall's  ends.  This  liggy  piggy  wanted to  go  to  the  jampot.  And  this  leggy  peggy  spelt  pea.  And  theese lucky  puckers  played  at  pooping  tooletom.  Ma's  da.  Da's  ma. Madas.  Sadam.
—  Pater  patruum  cum  jiliabus  familiarum.  Or,  but,  now,  and, ariring  out  of  her  mirgery  margery  watersheads  and,  to  change that  subjunct  from  the  traumaturgid  for  once  in  a  while  and  dart- ing back  to  stuff,  if  so  be  you  may  identify  yourself  with  the  him in  you,  that  fluctuous  neck  merchamtur,  bloodfadder  and  milk- mudder,  since  then  our  too  many  of  her,  Abha  na  Life,  and  getting on  to  dadaddy  again,  as  them  we're  ne'er  free  of,  was  he  in  tea e'er  he  went  on  the  bier  or  didn't  he  ontime  do  something  seemly heavy  in  sugar He  sent  out  Christy  Columb  and  he  came  back with  a  jailbird's  unbespokables  in  his  beak  and  then  he  sent  out Le  Caron  Crow  and  the  peacies  are  still  looking  for  him.  The seeker  from  the  swayed,  the  beesabouties  from  the  parent  swarm. Speak  to  the  right!  Rotacist  ca  canny!  He  caun  ne'er  be  bothered but  maun  e'er  be  waked.  If  there  is  a  future  in  every  past  that  is present  Quls  est  qui  non  novit  quinnigan  and  Qui  quae  quot  at
496
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Quinnigans  Quake!  Stump !  His  producers  are  they  not  his  con- sumers? Your  exagmination  round  his  factification  for  incam- ination  of  a  warping  process.  Declaim!
—  Arra  irrara  hirrara  man,  weren't  they  arriving  in  clansdes- tinies  for  the  Imbandiment  of  Ad  Regias  Agni  Dapes^  fogabawlers and  panhibernskers,  after  the  crack  and  the  lean  years,  scalp j aggers and  houthhunters,  like  the  messicals  of  the  great  god,  a  scarlet trainful,  the  Twoedged  Petrard,  totalling,  leggats  and  prelaps,  in their  aggregate  ages  two  and  thirty  plus  undecimmed  centries of  them  with  insiders,  extraomnes  and  tuttifrutties  allcunct,  from Rathgar,  Rathanga,  Rountown  and  Rush,  from  America  Avenue and  Asia  Place  and  the  Affrian  Way  and  Europa  Parade  and  be- sogar  the  wallies  of  Noo  Soch  Wilds  and  from  Vico,  Mespil Rock  and  Sorrento,  for  the  lure  of  his  weal  and  the  fear  of  his oppidumic,  to  his  salon  de  espera  in  the  keel  of  his  kraal,  like lodes  of  ores  flocking  fast  to  Mount  Maximagnetic,  afeerd  he  was a  gunner  but  affaird  to  stay  away,  Merrionites,  Dumstdumb- drummers,  Luccanicans,  Ashtoumers,  Batterysby  Parkes  and Krumlin  Boyards,  Phillipsburgs,  Cabraists  and  Finglossies, Ballymunites,  Raheniacs  and  the  bettlers  of  Clontarf,  for  to  con- template in  manifest  and  pay  their  firstrate  duties  before  the  both of  him,  twelve  stone  a  side,  with  their  Thieve  le  Roue!  and  their ShvT  yr  Thrst!  and  their  Uisgye  ad  Inferos!  and  their  Usque  ad Ehhraios!  at  and  in  the  licensed  boosiness  primises  of  his  del- hightful  bazar  and  reunited  magazine  hall,  by  the  magazine  wall, Hosty's  and  Co,  Exports,  for  his  five  hundredth  and  sixtysixth borthday,  the  grand  old  Magennis  Mor,  Persee  and  Rahli,  taker of  the  tributes,  their  Rinseky  Poppakork  and  Piowtor  the  Grape, holding  Dunker's  durbar,  boot  kings  and  indiarubber  umpires and  shawhs  from  paisley  and  muftis  in  muslim  and  sultana reiseines  and  jordan  almonders  and  a  row  of  jam  sahibs  and  a odd  principeza  in  her  pettedcoat  and  the  queen  of  knight's  clubs and  the  claddagh  ringleaders  and  the  two  salaames  and  the  Haifa Ham  and  the  Hanzas  Khan  with  two  fat  Maharashers  and  the German  selver  geyser  and  he  polished  up,  protemptible,  tintanam- bulating  to  himsilf  so  silfrich,  and  there  was  J.  B.  Dunlop,  the
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best  tyrent  of  ourish  times,  and  a  swanks  of  French  wine  Stuarts and  Tudor  keepsakes  and  the  Cesarevitch  for  the  current  coun- ter Leodegarius  Sant  Legerleger  riding  lapsaddlelonglegs  up  the oakses  staircase  on  muleback  like  Amaxodias  Isteroprotos,  hind- quarters to  the  fore  and  kick  to  the  lift,  and  he  handygrabbed  on to  his  trulley  natural  anthem:  Horsibus^  keep  your  tailyup^  and as  much  as  the  halle  of  the  vacant  fhroneroom,  Oldloafs Buttery,  could  safely  accomodate  of  the  houses  of  Orange  and Betters  M.P,  permeated  by  Druids  D.P,  Brehons  B.P,  and Flawhoolags  F.P,  and  Agiapommenites  A.P,  and  Antepum- melites  P.P,  and  Ulster  Kong  and  Munster's  Herald  with Athclee  Ensigning  and  Athlone  Poursuivant  and  his  Imperial Catchering,  his  fain  awan,  and  his  gemmynosed  sanctsons in  epheud  and  ordilawn  and  his  diamondskulled  granddaucher, Adamantaya  Liubokovskva,  all  murdering  Irish,  amok  and amak,  out  of  their  boom  companions  in  paunchjab  and  dogril and  pammel  and  gougerotty,  after  plenty  of  his  fresh  stout  and his  good  balls  of  malt,  not  to  forget  his  oels  a'mona  nor  his  beers o'ryely,  sopped  down  by  his  pani's  annagolorum,  (at  Kennedy's kiln  she  kned  her  dough,  back  of  her  bake  for  me,  buns !)  social- izing and  communicanting  in  the  deification  of  his  members,  for to  nobble  or  salvage  their  herobit  of  him,  the  poohpooher  old bolssloose,  with  his  arthurious  clayroses,  Dodderick  Ogonoch Wrack,  busted  to  the  wurld  at  large,  on  the  table  round,  with  the floodlight  switched  back,  as  true  as  the  Vernons  have  Brian's sword,  and  a  dozen  and  one  by  one  tilly  tallows  round  in  ring- campf,  circumassembled  by  his  daughters  in  the  foregiftness  of his  sons,  lying  high  as  he  lay  in  all  dimensions,  in  court  dress  and ludmers  chain,  with  a  hogo,  fluorescent  of  his  swathings,  round him,  like  the  cummulium  of  scents  in  an  italian  warehouse,  erica's clustered  on  his  hayir,  the  spectrem  of  his  prisent  mocking  the candiedights  of  his  dadtid,  bagpuddingpodded  to  the  deafspot, bewept  of  his  chilidrin  and  serafim,  poors  and  personalities,  ven- turous, drones  and  dominators,  ancients  and  auldancients,  with his  buttend  up,  expositoed  for  sale  after  referee's  inspection, bulgy  and  blowrious,  bunged  to  ignorious,  healed  cured  and
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embalsemate,  pending  a  rouseruction  of  his  bogey,  most  highly astounded,  as  it  turned  up,  after  his  life  overlasting,  at  thus  being reduced  to  nothing.
—  Bappy-go-gully  and  gaff  for  us  all!  And  all  his  morties calisenic,  tripping  a  trepas,  neniatwantyng:  Mulo  Mulelo !  Homo Humilo!  Dauncy  a  deady  O!  Dood  dood  dood!  O  Bawse!  O Boese!  O  Muerther!  O  Mord!  Mahmato!  Moutmaro!  O  Smir- tsch!  O  Smertz!  Woh  Hillill!  Woe  Hallall!  Thou  Thuoni!  Thou Thaunaton!  Umartir!  Udamnor!  Tschitt!  Mergue!  Eulumu! Huam  Khuam!  Malawinga!  Malawunga!  Ser  Oh  Ser!  See  ah_ .^See!  Hamovs!  Removes!  Mamor!  Rockquiem  eternuel  give  donal aye  in  dolmeny !  Bad  luck's  perpepperpot  loosen  his  eyis !  (Psich!).
—  But  there's  leps  of  flam  in  Funnycoon's  Wick.  The  keyn has  passed.  Lung  lift  the  keying!
—  God  save  you  king!  Muster  of  the  Hidden  Life!  "7^-^^^
—  God  serf  yous  kingly,  adipose  rex!  I  had  four  in  the  morn- ing and  a  couple  of  the  lunch  and  three  later  on,  but  your  saouls to  the  dhaoul,  do  ye.  Finnk.  Fime.  Fudd?
—  Impassable  tissue  of  improbable  liyers!  D'yu  mean  to  sett there  where  y'are  now,  coddlin  your  supernumerary  leg,  wi'that bizar  tongue  in  yur  tolkshap,  and  your  hindies  and  shindies,  like  a muck  in  a  market,  Sorley  boy,  repeating  yurself,  and  tell  me  that.^
—  I  mean  to  sit  here  on  this  altknoll  where  you  are  now. Surly  guy,  replete  in  myself,  as  long  as  I  live,  in  my  homespins, like  a  sleepingtop,  with  all  that's' buried  ofsins  insince  insensed insidesofme.  If  I  can't  upset  this  pound  of  pressed  ollaves  I  can sit  up  zounds  of  sounds  upon  him.
—  Oliver!  He  may  be  an  earthpresence.  Was  that  a  groan  or did  I  hear  the  Dingle  bagpipes  Wasting  war  and?  Watch!
—  Tris  tris  a  ni  ma  meal  Prisoner  of  Love!  Bleating  Hart! Lowlaid  Herd!  Aubain  Hand!  Wonted  Foot!  Usque/  Usque/ Usque/  Lignum  in  .  .  .
—  Rawth  of  Gar  and  Donnerbruck  Fire?  Is  the  strays  world moving  mound  or  what  static  babel  is  this,  tell  us?
—  Whoishe  whoishe  whoishe  whoishe  linking  in?  Whoishe whoishe  whoishe?
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—  The  snare  drum !  Lay  yer  lug  till  the  groun.  The  dead  giant manalive!  They're  playing  thimbles  and  bodkins.  Clan  of  the Gael!  Hop!  Whu's  within?
—  Dovegall  and  finshark,  they  are  ring  to  the  rescune!
—  Zinzin.  Zinzin.
—  Crum  abu !  Cromwell  to  victory !
—  We'll  gore  them  and  gash  them  and  gun  them  and  gloat  on them.
—  Zinzin.
—  O,  widows  and  orphans,  it's  the  yeomen!  Redshanks  for ever!  Up  Lanes!
—  The  cry  of  the  roedeer  it  is!  The  white  hind.  Their  slots, linklink,  the  hound  hunthorning!  Send  us  and  peace!  Title!  Title!
—  Christ  in  our  irish  times!  Christ  on  the  airs  independence! Christ  hold  the  freedman's  chareman!  Christ  light  the  dully expressed !
—  Slog  slagt  and  sluaghter!  Rape  the  daughter!  Choke  the pope!
—  Aure!  Cloudy  father!  Unsure!  Nongood!
—  Zinzin.
—  Sold!  I  am  sold!  Brinabride!  My  ersther!  My  sidster! Brinabride,  goodbye!  Brinabride!  I  sold!
—  Pipette  dear!  Us!  Us!  Me!  Me!
—  Fort!  Fort!  Bayroyt!  March!
—  Me!  I'm  true.  True!  Isolde.  Pipette.  My  precious!
—  Zinzin.
—  Brinabride,  bet  my  price!  Brinabride!
—  My  price,  my  precious.'^
—  Zin.
—  Brinabride,  my  price!  When  you  sell  get  my  price!
—  Zin.
—  Pipette!  Pipette,  my  priceless  one!
—  01  Mother  of  my  tears!  Believe  for  me!  Fold  thy  son!
—  Zinzin.  Zinzin.
—  Now  we're  gettin  it.  Tune  in  and  pick  up  the  forain counties!  Hello!
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—  Zinzin.
—  Hello!  Tittit!  Tell  your  title?
—  Abride!
—  Hellohello!  Ballymacarett!  Am  I  thru'  Iss?  Miss?  True?
—  Tit!  What  is  the  ti .  .  ?  K
SILENCE.  -"^^^  r^i^t  r^  7
Act  drop.  Stand  by!  Blinders!  Curtain  up.  Juice,  please!  Foots!
—  Hello!  Are  you  Cigar  shank  and  Wheat?        ^  ^
—  I  gotye.  Gobble  Ann's  Carrot  Cans.
—  Parfey.  Now,  after  that  justajifF  siesta,  just  permit  me  a moment.  Challenger's  Deep  is  childsplay  to  this  but,  by  our soundings  in  the  swish  channels,  land  is  due.  A  truce  to  demobbed swarwords.  Clear  the  line,  priority  call!  Sybil!  Better  that  or this?  Sybil  Head  this  end!  Better  that  way?  Follow  the  baby  spot. Yes.  Very  good  now.  We  are  again  in  the  magnetic  field.  Do you  remember  on  a  particular  lukesummer  night,  following  a crying  fair  day?  Moisten  your  lips  for  a  lightning  strike  and  begin again.  Mind  the  flickers  and  dimmers !  Better?
—  Well.  The  isles  is  Thymes.  The  ales  is  Penzance.  Vehement Genral.  Delhi  expulsed.
—  Still  calling  of  somewhave  from  its  specific?  Not  more? Lesscontinuous.  There  were  fires  on  every  bald  hill  in  holy Ireland  that  night.  Better  so?
—  You  may  say  they  were,  son  of  a  cove !
—  Were  they  bonfires?  That  clear?
—  No  other  name  would  at  all  befit  them  unless  that.  Bona- fieries!  With  their  blue  beards  streaming  to  the  heavens.
—  Was  it  a  high  white  night  now?
—  Whitest  night  mortal  ever  saw.
—  Was  our  lord  of  the  heights  nigh  our  lady  of  the  valley?
—  He  was  hosting  himself  up  and  flosting  himself  around  and ghosting  himself  to  merry  her  murmur  like  an  andeanupper balkan.
—  Lewd's  carol !  Was  there  rain  by  any  chance,  mistande w?
501
—  Plenty.  If  you  wend  farranoch.
—  There  fell  some  fall  of  littlewinter  snow,  holy-as-ivory, I  gather,  jesse?
—  By  snaachtha  clocka.  The  nicest  at  all.  In  hilly-and-even zimalayars.
—  Did  it  not  blow  some  gales,  westnass  or  ostscent,  rather strongly  to  less,  allin  humours  out  of  turn,  jusse  as  they  rose  and sprungen.'^
—  Out  of  all  jokes  it  did.  Pipep!  Icecold.  Brr  na  brr,  ny  prr! Lieto  galumphantes !
—  Stll  cling!  Nmr!  Peace,  Pacific!  Do  you  happen  to  recollect whether  Muna,  that  highlucky  nackt,  was  shining  at  all.'^
—  Sure  she  was,  my  midday  darling!  And  not  one  but  a  pair of  pritty  geallachers.
—  Quando.'^  Quonda.'^  Go  datey!
—  Latearly!  Latearly!  Latearly!  Latearly!
—  That  was  latterlig  certainly.  And  was  there  frostwork about  and  thick  weather  and  hice,  soon  calid,  soon  frozen,  cold  on warm  but  moistly  dry,  and  a  boatshaped  blanket  of  bruma  air- sighs  and  hellstohns  and  flammballs  and  vodashouts  and  every- thing to  please  everybody.'^
—  Hail  many  fell  of  greats!  Horey  morey  smother  of  fog! There  was,  so  plays  your  ahrtides.  Absolutely  boiled. Obsoletely  cowled.  Julie  and  Lulie  at  their  parkiest.
—  The  amenities,  the  amenities  of  the  amenities  with  all  their amenities.  And  the  firmness  of  the  formous  of  the  famous  of  the fumous  of  the  first  fog  in  Maidanvale.'^
—  Catchecatche  and  couchamed!
—  From  Miss  Somer's  nice  dream  back  to  Mad  Winthrop's delugium  stramens.  One  expects  that  kind  of  rimey  feeling  in  the sire  season.'^
—  One  certainly  does.  Desire,  for  hire,  would  tire  a  shire, phone,  phunkel,  or  wire.  And  mares.
—  Of  whitecaps  any.-^
—  Foamflakes  flockfuyant  from  Foxrock  to  Finglas.
—  A  lambskip  for  the  marines!  Paronama!  The  entire  hori-
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zon  cloth!  All  effects  in  their  joints  caused  ways.  Raindrum, windmachine,  snowbox.  But  thundersheet?
—  No  here.  Under  the  blunkets.
—  This  common  or  garden  is  now  in  stilller  realithy  the starey  sphere  of  an  oleotorium  for  broken  pottery  and  ancient vegetables?
—  Simply  awful  the  dirt.  An  evernasty  ashtray.
—  I  see.  Now  do  you  know  the  wellknown  kikkinmidden where  the  illassorted  first  couple  first  met  with  each  other.'^  The place  where  Ealdermann  Fanagan.'^  The  time  when  Junkermenn Funagin.'^
—  Deed  then  I  do,  W.K.
—  In  Fingal  too  they  met  at  Littlepeace  aneath  the  bidetree, Yellowhouse  of  Snugsborough,  Westreeve-Astagob  and  Sluts- end  with  Stockins  of  Winning's  Folly  Merryfalls,  all  of  a  two, skidoo  and  skephumble.'^
—  Godamedy,  you're  a  delville  of  a  tolkar!
—  Is  it  a  place  fairly  exspoused  to  the  four  last  winds.'^
—  Well,  I  faithly  sincerely  believe  so  indeed  if  all  what  I  hope to  charity  is  half  true.
—  This  stow  on  the  wolds,  is  it  Woful  Dane  Bottom.'^
—  It  is  woful  in  need  whatever  about  anything  or  allselse under  the  grianblachk  sun  of  gan  greyne  Eireann.
—  A  tricolour  ribbon  that  spells  a  caution.  The  old  flag,  the  cold flag.
—  The  flagstone.  By  tombs,  deep  and  heavy.  To  the  unaveiling memory  of.  Peacer  the  grave.
—  And  what  sigeth  Woodin  Warneung  thereof.'^
—  Trickspissers  vill  be  pairsecluded.
—  There  used  to  be  a  tree  stuck  up.^  An  overlisting  eshtree.'^
—  There  used,  sure  enough.  Beside  the  Annar.  At  the  ford of  Slivenamond.  Oakley  Ashe's  elm.  With  a  snoodrift  from  one beerchen  bough.  And  the  grawndest  crowndest  consecrated  may- pole in  all  the  reignladen  history  of  Wilds.  Browne's  Thesaurus Plantarum  from  Nolan's,  The  Prittlewell  Press,  has  nothing  alike it.  For  we  are  fed  of  its  forest,  clad  in  its  wood,  burqued  by  its
503
bark  and  our  lecture  is  its  leave.  The  cran,  the  cran  the  king  of  all crans.  Squiremade  and  damesman  of  plantagenets,  high  and  holy.
— Now,  no  hiding  your  wren  under  a  bushle!  What  was  it doing  there,  for  instance.'^
—  Standing  foreninst  us.
—  In  Summerian  sunshine.'^
—  And  in  Cimmerian  shudders.
—  You  saw  it  visibly  from  your  hidingplace.'^
—  No.  From  my  invisibly  lyingplace.
—  And  you  then  took  down  in  stereo  what  took  place  being tunc  committed.'*
—  I  then  tuk  my  takenplace  lying  down,  I  thunk  I  told  you. Solve  it!
—  Remounting  aliftle  towards  the  ouragan  of  spaces.  Just how  grand  in  cardinal  rounders  is  this  preeminent  giant,  sir Arber.^  Your  bard's  high  view,  avis  on  valley!  I  would  like  to  hear you  burble  to  us  in  strict  conclave,  purpurando,  and  without too  much  italiote  interfairance,  what  you  know  in  petto  about  our sovereign  beingstalk,  Tonans  Tomazeus.  O  ditef
—  Corcor  Andy,  Udi^  Uditef  Your  Ominence,  Your  Immi- nence and  delicted  fraterni trees !  There's  tuodore  queensmaids and  Idahore  shopgirls  and  they  woody  babies  growing  upon  her and  bird  flamingans  sweenyswinging  fuglewards  on  the  tipmast and  Orania  epples  playing  hopptociel  bommptaterre  and  Ty- burn fenians  snoring  in  his  quickenbole  and  crossbones  strewing its  holy  floor  and  culprines  of  Erasmus  Smith's  burstall  boys with  their  underhand  leadpencils  climbing  to  her  crotch  for  the origin  of  spices  and  charlotte  darlings  with  silk  blue  askmes chattering  in  dissent  to  them,  gibbonses  and  gobbenses,  guelfing and  ghiberring  proferring  praydews  to  their  anatolies  and  blight- ing findblasts  on  their  catastripes  and  the  killmaimthem  pen- sioners chucking  overthrown  milestones  up  to  her  to  fall  her cranberries  and  her  pommes  annettes  for  their  unnatural  refection and  handpainted  hoydens  plucking  husbands  of  him  and  cock robins  muchmore  hatching  most  out  of  his  missado  eggdrazzles for  him,  the  sun  and  moon  pegging  honeysuckle  and  white
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heather  down  and  timtits  tapping  resin  there  and  tomahawks watching  tar  elsewhere,  creatures  of  the  wold  approaching  him, hollow  mid  ivy,  for  to  claw  and  rub,  hermits  of  the  desert barking  their  infernal  shins  over  her  triliteral  roots  and  his  acorns and  pinecorns  shooting  wide  all  sides  out  of  him,  plantitude outsends  of  plenty  to  thousands,  after  the  truants  of  the  utmost- fear  and  her  downslyder  in  that  snakedst-tu-naughsy  whimmering woman't  seeleib  such  a  fashionaping  sathinous  dress  out  of  that exquisitive  creation  and  her  leaves,  my  darling  dearest,  sinsin- sinning  since  the  night  of  time  and  each  and  all  of  their  branches meeting  and  shaking  twisty  hands  all  over  again  in  their  new world  through  the  germination  of  its  gemination  from  Ond's outset  till  Odd*s  end.  And  encircle  him  circuly.  Evovae!
—  Is  it  so  exaltated,  eximious,  extraoldandairy  and  excels- siorising?
—  Amengst  menlike  trees  walking  or  trees  like  angels  weep- ing nobirdy  aviar  soar  anywing  to  eagle  it!  But  rocked  of  agues, clifFed  for  aye!
—  Telleth  that  eke  the  treeth?
—  Mushe,  mushe  of  a  mixness.
—  A  shrub  of  libertine,  indeed!  But  that  steyne  of  law  indead what  stiles  its  neming?
—  Tod,  tod,  too  hard  parted!
—  Fve  got  that  now,  Dr  Melamanessy.  Finight  mens  mid- infinite  true.  The  form  masculine.  The  gender  feminine.  I  see. Now,  are  you  derevatov  of  it  yourself  in  any  way.'^  The  true tree  I  mean?  Let's  hear  what  science  has  to  say,  pundit- the- next-best-king.  Splanck !
—  Upfellbowm.
—  It  reminds  of  the  weeping  of  the  daughters?
—  And  remounts  to  the  sense  arrest.
—  The  wittold,  the  frausch  and  the  dibble !  How  this  loose- affair  brimsts  of  fussforus!  And  was  this  treemanangel  on  his soredbohmend  because  Knockout,  the  knickknaver,  knacked him  in  the  knechtschaft?
—  Well,  he  was  ever  himself  for  the  presention  of  crudities  to
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animals  for  he  had  put  his  own  nickelname  on  every  toad,  duck and  herring  before  the  climber  clomb  aloft,  doing  the  midhill  of the  park,  flattering  his  bitter  hoolft  with  her  conconundrums. He  would  let  us  have  the  three  barrels.  Such  was  a  bitte  too  thikke for  the  Muster  of  the  hoose  so  as  he  called  down  on  the  Grand Precurser  who  coiled  him  a  crawler  of  the  dupest  dye  and thundered  at  him  to  flatch  down  off  that  erection  and  be  aslimed of  himself  for  the  bellance  of  hissch  leif.
—  Oh  Finlay's  coldpalled!
—  Ahday's  begatem !
—  Were  you  there,  eh  Hehr?  Were  you  there  when  they lagged  um  through  the  coombe?
—  Wo  wo!  Who  who!  Psalmtimes  it  grauws  on  me  to  ramble, ramble,  ramble.
—  Woe!  Woe!  So  that  was  how  he  became  the  foerst  of  our treefellers?
—  Yesche  and,  in  the  absence  of  any  soberiquiet,  the  fanest of  our  truefalluses.  Bapsbaps  Bomslinger!
—  How  near  do  you  feel  to  this  capocapo  promontory,  sir?
—  There  do  be  days  of  dry  coldness  between  us  when  he  does be  like  a  lidging  house  far  far  astray  and  there  do  be  nights  of  wet windwhistling  when  he  does  be  making  me  onions  woup  all  kinds of  ways.
—  Now  you  are  mehrer  the  murk,  Lansdowne  Road.  She's threwed  her  pippin's  thereabouts  and  they've  cropped  up  tooth oneydge  with  hates  to  leaven  this  socried  isle.  Now,  thornybom, follow  the  spotlight, please! Concerning  a  boy.  Are  you  acquainted with  a  pagany,  vicariously  known  as  Toucher  *Thpm'  who  is.  I suggest  Finoglam  as  his  habitat.  Consider  yourself  on  the  stand now  and  watch  your  words,  take  my  advice.  Let  your  motto  be: Inter  nubila  numbum,
—  Never  you  mind  about  my  mother  or  her  hopitout.  I  con- sider if  I  did,  I  would  feel  frightfully  ashamed  of  admired  vice.
—  He  is  a  man  of  around  fifty,  struck  on  Anna  Lynsha's Pekoe  with  milk  and  whisky,  who  does  messuages  and  has  more dirt  on  him  than  an  old  dog  has  fleas,  kicking  stones  and  knocking
506
1
snow  off  walls.  Have  you  ever  heard  of  this  old  boy  "Thorn"  or  ^^on^-^ "Thim"  of  the  fishy  stare  who  belongs  to  Kimmage,  a  crofting  dis- trict, and  is  not  all  there,  and  is  all  the  more  himself  since  he  is not  so,  being  most  of  his  time  down  at  the  Green  Man  where  he steals,  pawns,  belches  and  is  a  curse,  drinking  gaily  two  hours  after closing  time,  with  the  coat  on  him  skinside  out  against  rappari- tions,  with  his  socks  outsewed  his  springsides,  clapping  his  hands in  a  feeble  sort  of  way  and  systematically  mixing  with  the  public going  for  groceries,  slapping  greats  and  littlegets  soundly  with his  cattegut  belts,  flapping  baresides  and  waltzywembling  about in  his  accountrements  always  in  font  of  the  tubbernuckles,  like a  longarmed  lugh,  when  he  would  be  finished  with  his  tea?
—  Is  it  that  fellow?  As  mad  as  the  brambles  he  is.  Touch  him. With  the  lawyers  sticking  to  his  trewsershins  and  the  swatme- notting  on  the  basque  of  his  beret.  He  has  kissed  me  more  than once,  I  am  sorry  to  say  and  if  I  did  commit  gladrolleries  may  the loone  forgive  it!  O  wait  till  I  tell  you!
—  We  are  not  going  yet.
—  And  look  here!  Here's,  my  dear,  what  he  done,  as  snooks as  I  am  saying  so !
—  Get  out,  you  dirt!  A  strangely  striking  part  of  speech  for the  hottest  worked  word  of  ur  sprogue.  You're  not!  Unhindered and  odd  times?  Mere  thumbshow?  Lately?
—  How  do  I  know?  Such  my  billet.  Buy  a  barrack  pass.  Ask the  horneys.  Tell  the  robbers.
—  You  are  alluding  to  the  picking  pockets  in  Lower  O'Connell Street?
—  I  am  illuding  to  the  Pekin  packet  but  I  am  eluding  from Laura  Connor's  treat.
—  Now,  just  wash  and  brush  up  your  memoirias  a  little  bit. So  I  find,  referring  to  the  pater  of  the  present  man,  an  erely  de- mented brick  thrower,  I  am  wondering  to  myself  in  my  mind,
qua  our  arc  of  the  covenant,  was  Toucher,  a  methodist,  whose  c^a^'^^ name,  as  others  say,  is  not  really  *Thom',  was  this  salt  son  of  a century  from  Boaters  town.  Shivering  William,  the  scaliest  old  for- ker  ever  hawked  crannock,  who  is  always  with  him  at  the  Big  Elm
507
I
and  the  Arch  after  his  teeth  were  shaken  out  of  their  suckets  by  the wrang  dog,  for  having  5  pints  73  of  none  Eryen  blood  in  him  abaft the  seam  level,  the  scatterling,  wearing  his  cowbeamer  and  false clothes  of  a  brewer's  grains  pattern  with  back  buckons  with  his motto  on,  Yule  Remember^  ostensibly  for  that  occasion  only  of  the twelfth  day  Pax  and  Quantum  wedding,  Tm  wondering.
—  I  bet  you  are.  Well,  he  was  wandering,  you  bet,  whatever was  his  matter,  in  his  mind  too,  give  him  his  due,  for  I  am  sorry to  have  to  tell  you,  hullo  and  evoe,  they  were  coming  down  from off  him.
—  How  culious  an  epiphany!
—  Hodie  casus  esohhrakonton?
—  It  looked  very  like  it.
—  Needer  knows  necess  and  neither  garments.  Man  is  minded of  the  Meagher,  wat.^  Wooly.^  Walty.^
—  Ay,  another  good  button  gone  wrong.
—  Blondman's  blaff!  Like  a  skib  leaked  lintel  the  arbour leidend  with  .  .  .?
—  Pamelas,  peggylees,  pollywoUies,  questuants,  quaint- aquilties,  quickamerries.
—  Concaving  now  convexly  to  the  semidemihemispheres  and, from  the  female  angle,  music  minnestirring,  were  the  subligate sisters,  P.  and  Q.,  Clopatrick's  cherierapest,  mutatis  mutandis^ in  pretty  much  the  same  pickle,  the  peach  of  all  piedom,  the quest  of  all  quicks.'^
—  Peequeen  ourselves,  the  prettiest  pickles  of  unmatchemable mute  antes  I  ever  bopeeped  at,  seesaw  shallshee,  since  the  town  go went  gonning  on  Pranksome  Quaine.
—  Silks  apeel  and  sulks  alusty?
—  Boy  and  giddle,  gape  and  bore.
—  I  hear  these  two  goddesses  are  liable  to  sue  him.^
—  Well,  I  hope  the  two  Collinses  don't  leg  a  bail  to  shoot  him.
—  Both  were  white  in  black  arpists  at  cloever  spilling,  knickt?
—  Gels  bach,  I,  languised,  liszted.  Etoudies  for  the  right  hand.
—  Were  they  now?  And  were  they  watching  you  as  watcher as  well?
508
! i
i
I
i
—  Where  do  you  get  that  wash?  This  representation  does  not accord  with  my  experience.  They  were  watching  the  watched watching.  Vechers  all.
—  Good.  Hold  that  watching  brief  and  keep  this  witching longuer.  Now,  retouching  friend  Tomsky,  the  enemy,  did  you gather  much  from  what  he  let  drop?  We  are  sitting  here  for  that.
—  I  was  rooshian  mad,  no  lie.  About  his  shapeless  hat.
—  I  suspect  you  must  have  been.
—  You  are  making  your  thunderous  mistake.  But  I  was  dung sorry  for  him  too.
—  O  Schaum!  Not  really?  Were  you  sorry  you  were  mad with  him  then?
—  When  I  tell  you  I  was  rooshiamarodnimad  with  myself altogether,  so  I  was,  for  being  sorry  for  him.
—  So?
—  Absolutely.
—  Would  you  blame  him  at  all  stages?
—  I  believe  in  many  an  old  stager.  But  what  seemed  sooth  to a  Greek  summed  nooth  to  a  giantle.  Who  kills  the  cat  in  Cairo coaxes  cocks  in  Gaul.
—  I  put  it  to  you  that  this  was  solely  in  his  sunflower  state and  that  his  haliodraping  het  was  why  maids  all  sighed  for  him, ventured  and  vied  for  him.  Hm?
—  After  Putawayo,  Kansas,  Liburnum  and  New  Aimstir- dames,  it  wouldn't  surprise  me  in  the  very  least.
—  That  tare  and  this  mole,  your  tear  and  our  smile.  'Tis  life that  lies  if  woman's  eyes  have  been  our  old  undoing.  Lid  efter  lid. Reform  in  mine  size  his  deformation.  Tiffpuff  up  my  nostril, would  you  puff  the  earthworm  outer  my  ear.
—  He  could  claud  boose  his  eyes  to  the  birth  of  his  garce,  he could  lump  all  his  lot  through  the  half  of  her  play,  but  he  jest couldn't  laugh  through  the  whole  of  her  farce  becorpse  he  warn't billed  that  way.  So  he  outandouts  his  volimetangere  and  has  a lightning  consultation  and  he  downadowns  his  pantoloogions and  made  a  piece  of  first  perpersonal  puetry  that  staystale  re- mains to  be.  Cleaned.
509
—  Booms  of  bombs  and  heavy  rethudders?
—  This  aim  to  you!
—  The  tail,  so  mastrodantic,  as  you  tell  it  nearly  takes  your own  mummouth's  breath  away.  Your  troppers  are  so  unrelieved because  his  troopers  were  in  difficulties.  Still  let  stultitiam  done in  veino  condone  ineptias  made  of  veritues.  How  many  were married  on  that  top  of  all  strapping  mornings,  after  the  midnight turkay  drive,  my  good  watcher?
—  Puppaps.  That'd  be  telling.  With  a  hoh  frohim  and  heh fraher.  But,  as  regards  to  Tammy  Thornycraft,  Idefyne  the  lawn mare  and  the  laney  moweress  and  all  the  prentisses  of  wildes  to massage  him.
—  Now  from  Gunner  Shotland  to  Guinness  Scenography. Come  to  the  ballay  at  the  Tailors'  Hall.  We  mean  to  be  mellay  on the  Mailers'  Mall.  And  leap,  rink  and  make  follay  till  the  Gaelers' Gall.  Awake!  Come,  a  wake!  Every  old  skin  in  the  leather  world, infect  the  whole  stock  company  of  the  old  house  of  the  Leaking Barrel,  was  thomistically  drunk,  two  by  two,  lairking  o'  tootlers with  tombours  a'beggars,  the  blog  and  turfs  and  the  brandywine bankrompers,  trou  Normend  fashion,  I  have  been  told,  down  to the  bank  lean  clorks.'*  Some  nasty  blunt  clubs  were  being  operated after  the  tradition  of  a  wellesleyan  bottle  riot  act  and  a  few  plates were  being  shied  about  and  tumblers  bearing  traces  of  fresh porter  rolling  around,  independent  of  that,  for  the  ehren  of  Fyn's Insul,  and  then  followed  that  wapping  breakfast  at  the  Heaven and  Covenant,  with  Rodey  O'echolowing  how  his  breadcost  on the  voters  would  be  a  comeback  for  e'er  a  one,  like  the  depre- dations of  Scandalknivery,  in  and  on  usedtowobble  sloops  off cloasts,  eh?  Would  that  be  a  talltale  too?  This  was  the  grandsire Orther.  This  was  his  innwhite  horse.  Sip?
—  Well,  naturally  he  was,  louties  also  genderymen.  Being Kerssfesstiydt.  They  came  from  all  lands  beyond  the  wave  for songs  of  Inishfeel.  Whiskway  and  mortem !  No  puseyporcious either,  invitem  kappines  all  round.  But  the  right  reverend  priest, Mr  Hopsinbond,  and  the  reverent  bride  eleft,  Frizzy  Fraufrau, were  sober  enough.  I  think  they  were  sober.
510
i
I
►
—  I  think  you're  widdershins  there  about  the  right  reverence. Magraw  for  the  Northwhiggern  cupteam  was  wedding  beastman, papers  before  us  carry.  You  saw  him  hurriedly,  or  did  you  if thatseme's  not  irrelevant?  With  Slater's  hammer  perhaps?  Or  he was  in  serge?
—  I  horridly  did.  On  the  stroke  of  the  dozen.  I'm  sure  I'm wrong  but  I  heard  the  irreverend  Mr  Magraw,  in  search  of  a stammer,  kuckkuck  kicking  the  bedding  out  of  the  old  sexton, red-Fox  Good-man  around  the  sacristy,  till  they  were  bullbeadle black  and  bufeteer  blue,  while  I  and  Flood  and  the  other  men, jazzlike  brollies  and  sesuos,  was  gickling  his  missus  to  gackles  in the  hall,  the  divileen,  (she's  a  lamp  in  her  throth)  with  her cygncygn  leckle  and  her  twelve  pound  lach.
—  A  loyal  wifish  woman  cacchinic  wheepingcaugh !  While she  laylylaw  was  all  their  rage.  But  you  did  establish  personal contact?  In  epexegesis  or  on  a  point  of  order?
—  That  perkumiary  pond  is  beyawnd  my  pinnigay  pre- tonsions.  I  am  resting  on  a  pigs  of  cheesus  but  I've  a  big suggestion  it  was  about  the  pint  of  porter.
—  You  are  a  suckersome !  But  this  all,  as  airs  said  to  oska, was  only  that  childbearer  might  blogas  well  sidesplit?  Where letties  hereditate  a  dark  mien  swart  hairy?
—  Only.  'Twas  womans'  too  woman  with  mans'  throw  man.
—  Bully  burley  yet  hardly  hurley.  The  saloon  bulkhead,  did you  say,  or  the  tweendecks?
—  Between  drinks,  I  deeply  painfully  repeat  it.
—  Was  she  wearing  shubladey's  tiroirs  in  humour  of  her hubbishobbis,  Massa's  star  stellar?
—  Mrs  Tan-Taylour?  Just  a  floating  panel,  secretairslid- ingdraws,  a  budge  of  klees  on  her  schalter,  a  siderbrass  sehdass on  her  anulas  findring  and  forty  crocelips  in  her  curlingthongues.
—  So  this  was  the  dope  that  woolied  the  cad  that  kinked  the ruck  that  noised  the  rape  that  tried  the  sap  that  hugged  the  mort?
—  That  legged  in  the  hoax  that  joke  bilked.
—  The  jest  of  junk  the  jungular?
—  Jacked  up  in  a  jock  the  wrapper.
511
—  Lollgoll!  You  don't  soye  so!  All  upsydown  her  whole creation?  So  there  was  nothing  serical  between  you?  And  Dry- salter,  father  of  Izod,  how  was  he  now?
—  To  the  pink,  man,  like  an  allmanox  in  his  shirt  and  stickup, brustall  to  the  bear,  the  Megalomagellan  of  our  winevatswater- way,  squeezing  the  life  out  of  the  liffey.
—  Crestofer  Carambas!  Such  is  zodisfaction.  You  punk  me! He  came,  he  kished,  he  conquered.  Vulturuvarnar !  The  must  of his  glancefull  coaxing  the  beam  in  her  eye?  That  musked  bell  of this  masked  ball!  Annabella,  Lovabella,  Pullabella,  yep?
—  Yup !  Titentung  Tollertone  in  S.  Sabina's.  Aye  aye,  she was  lithe  and  pleasable.  Wilt  thou  the  lee?  Wilt  thou  the  hee? Wilt  thou  the  hussif ?
—  The  quicker  the  deef  the  safter  the  sapstaff,  but  the  main the  mightier  the  Strieker  the  strait.  To  the  vast  go  the  game!  It is  the  circumconversioning  of  antelithual  paganelles  by  a  hugger- knut  cramwell  energuman,  or  the  caecodedition  of  an  absque- litteris  puttagonnianne  to  the  herreraism  of  a  cabotinesque  ex- ploser?
—  I  believe  you.  Taiptope  reelly,  O  reelly!
—  Nautaey,  nautaey,  we're  nowhere  without  ye !  In  steam  of kavos  now  arbatos  above  our  hearths  doth  hum.  And  Malkos crackles  logs  of  fun  while  Anglys  cheers  our  ingles.  So  lent  she him  ear  to  burrow  his  manhood  (or  so  it  appierce)  and  borrow his  namas?  Suilful  eyes  and  sallowfoul  hairweed  and  the  sickly sigh  from  her  gingering  mouth  like  a  Dublin  bar  in  the  moarning.
—  Primus  auriforasd  me.
—  The  park  is  gracer  than  the  hole,  says  she,  but  shekleton's my  fortune?
—  Eversought  of  being  artained?  You've  soft  a  say  with  ye, Flatter  O'Ford,  that,  honey,  I  hurdley  chew  you.
—  Is  that  answers?
—  It  am  queery!
—  The  house  was  Toot  and  Come-Inn  by  the  bridge  called Tiltass,  but  are  you  solarly  salemly  sure,  beyond  the  shatter  of the  canicular  year?  Nascitur  ordo  seculi  numfit.
I
i
I
—  Siriusly  and  selenely  sure  behind  the  shutter.  Securius  indicat umhris  tellurem.
—  Date  as?  Your  time  of  immersion?  We  are  still  in  drought of.  .  .  ?
—  Amnis  Dominae,  Marcus  of  Corrig.  A  laughin  hunter  and Purty  Sue.
—  And  crazyheaded  Jorn,  the  bulweh  born?
—  Fluteful  as  his  orkan.  Ex  ugola  lenonem,
—  And  Jambs,  of  Delphin's  Bourne  or  (as  olders  lay)  of Tophat?
—  Dawncing  the  kniejinksky  choreopiscopally  like  an  easter sun  round  the  colander,  the  vice!  Taranta  boontoday!  You should  pree  him  prance  the  polcat,  you  whould  sniff  him  wops around,  you  should  hear  his  piedigrotts  schraying  as  his  skimpies skirp  a  .  .  .
—  Crashedafar  Corumbas!  A  Czardanser  indeed!  Dervilish glad  too.  Ortovito  semi  ricordo.  The  pantaglionic  affection through  his  blood  like  a  bad  influenza  in  a  leap  at  bounding point?
—  Out  of  Prisky  Poppagenua,  the  palsied  old  priamite,  home from  Edwin  Hamilton's  Christmas  pantaloonade,  Oropos  Roxy and  Pantharhea  at  the  Gaiety,  trippudiating  round  the  aria,  with his  fiftytwo  heirs  of  age!  They  may  reel  at  his  likes  but  it's  Noeh Bonum's  shin  do.
—  And  whit  what  was  Lillabil  Issabil  maideve,  maid  at?
—  Trists  and  thranes  and  trinies  and  traines.
—  A  take  back  to  the  virgin  page,  darm  it!
—  Ay,  graunt  ye.
—  The  quobus  quartet  were  there  too,  if  I  mistake  not,  as  a sideline  but,  pace  the  contempt  of  senate,  well  to  the  fore,  in  an amenessy  meeting,  metandmorefussed  to  decide  whereagainwhen to  meet  themselves,  flopsome  and  jerksome,  lubber  and  deliric, drinking  unsteadily  through  the  Kerry  quadrilles  and  Listowel lancers  and  mastersinging  always  with  that  consecutive  fifth  of theirs,  eh?  Like  four  wise  elephants  inandouting  under  a  twelve- podestalled  table?
513
—  They  were  simple  scandalmongers,  that  familiar,  and  all! Normand,  Desmond,  Osmund  and  Kenneth.  Making  mejical history  all  over  the  show!
—  In  sum,  some  hum?  And  other  marrage  feats?
—  All  our  stakes  they  were  astumbling  round  the  ranky  roars assumbling  when  Big  Arthur  flugged  the  field  at  Annie's  courting.
—  Suddenly  some  wellfired  clay  was  cast  out  through  the schappsteckers  of  hoy's  house?
—  Schottenly  there  was  a  hellfire  club  kicked  out  through  the wasistas  of  Thereswhere.
—  Like  Heavystost's  envil  catacalamitumbling.  Three  days three  times  into  the  Vulcuum?
—  Punch!
—  Or  Noe  et  Ecclesiastes,  nonne?
—  Ninny,  there  is  no  hay  in  Eccles's  hostel.
—  Yet  an  I  saw  a  sign  of  him,  if  you  could  scrape  out  his acquinntence?  Name  or  redress  him  and  we'll  call  it  a  night!
—  .i..'.  .0..1.
—  You  are  sure  it  was  not  a  shuler's  shakeup  or  a  plighter's palming  or  a  winker's  wake  etcaetera  etcaeterorum  you  were  at?
—  Precisely.
—  Mayhap.  Hora  pro  Nubis,  Thundersday,  at  A  Little  Bit  Of Heaven  Howth,  the  wife  of  Deimetuus  (D'amn),  Earl  Adam  Fitz- adam,  of  a  Tartar  (Birtha)  or  Sackville-Lawry  and  Morland- West,  at  the  Auspice  for  the  Living,  Bonnybrook,  by  the  river and  A.  Briggs  Carlisle,  guardian  of  the  birdsmaids  and  deputil- iser  for  groom.  Pontifical  mess.  Or  (soddenly)  Schott,  furtivfired by  the  riots.  No  flies.  Agreest?
—  Mayhem.  Also  loans  through  the  post.  With  or  without security.  Everywhere.  Any  amount.  Mofsovitz,  swampstakers, purely  providential.
—  Flood's.  The  pinkman,  the  squeeze,  the  pint  with  the  kick. Gaa.  And  then  the  punch  to  Gaelicise  it.  Fox.  The  lady  with  the lamp.  The  boy  in  the  barleybag.  The  old  man  on  his  ars.  Great Scrapp!  'Tis  we  and  you  and  ye  and  me  and  hymns  and  hurts  and heels  and  shields.  The  eirest  race,  the  ourest  nation,  the  airest  place
5M
r
that  erestationed.  He  was  culping  for  penance  while  you  were ringing  his  belle.  Did  the  kickee,  goodman  rued  fox,  say  anything important?  Clam  or  cram,  spick  or  spat?
—  No  more  than  Richman's  periwhelker.
—  Nnn  ttt  wrd?
—  Dmn  ttt  thg.
—  A  gael  galled  by  scheme  of  scorn?  Nock?
—  Sangnifying  nothing.  Mock!
—  Fortitudo  eius  rhodammum  tenuit?
—  Five  maim!  Or  something  very  similar.
—  I  should  like  to  euphonise  that.  It  sounds  an  isochronism. Secret  speech  Hazelton  and  obviously  disemvowelled.  But  it  is good  laylaw  too.  We  may  take  those  wellmeant  kicks  for  free granted,  though  ultra  viresy  void  and,  in  fact,  unnecessarily  so. Happily  you  were  not  quite  so  successful  in  the  process  verbal whereby  you  would  sublimate  your  blepharospasmockical  sup- pressions, it  seems?
—  What  was  that?  First  I  heard  about  it.
—  Were  you  or  were  you  not?  Ask  yourself  the  answer,  Fm not  giving  you  a  short  question.  Now,  not  to  mix  up,  cast  your eyes  around  Capel  Court.  I  want  you,  witness  of  this  epic  struggle, as  yours  so  mine,  to  reconstruct  for  us,  as  briefly  as  you  can,  in- exactly the  same  as  a  mind's  eye  view,  how  these  funeral  games, which  have  been  poring  over  us  through  homer's  kerryer  pid- geons,  massacreedoed  as  the  holiname  rally  round  took  place.
—  Which?  Sure  I  told  you  that  afoul.  I  was  drunk  all  lost  life.
—  Well,  tell  it  to  me  befair,  the  whole  plan  of  campaign,  in that  bamboozelem  mincethrill  voice  of  yours.  Let's  have  it, christie!  The  Dublin  own,  the  thrice  familiar.
—  Ah,  sure,  I  eyewitless  foggus.  'Tis  all  around  me  bebatters- bid  hat.
—  Ah,  go  on  now,  Masta  Bones,  a  gig  for  a  gag,  with  your impendements  and  your  perroqtriques !  Blank  memory  of  hatless darky  in  blued  suit.  You  were  ever  the  gentle  poet,  dove  from Haywarden.  Pitcher  cup,  patcher  cap,  pratey  man?  Be  nice  about it,  Bones  Minor!  Look  chairful!  Come,  delicacy!  Go  to  the  end,
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thou  slackerd!  Once  upon  a  grass  and  a  hopping  high  grass  it was.
—  Faith,  then,  Meesta  Cheeryman,  first  he  come  up,  a  gag as  a  gig,  badgeler's  rake  to  the  town's  major  from  the  wesz, MacSmashall  Swingy  of  the  Cattelaxes,  got  up  regardless,  with a  cock  on  the  Kildare  side  of  his  Tattersull,  in  his  riddlesneek's ragamufflers  and  the  horrid  contrivance  as  seen  above,  whisklyng into  a  bone  tolerably  delicately,  the  Wearing  of  the  Blue^  and  taking off  his  plushkwadded  bugsby  in  his  perusual  flea  and  loisy  man- ner, saying  good  mrowkas  to  weevilybolly  and  dragging  his  feet in  the  usual  course  and  was  ever  so  terribly  naas,  really,  telling him  clean  his  nagles  and  fex  himself  up.  Miles,  and  so  on  and  so fort,  and  to  take  the  coocoomb  to  his  grizzlies  and  who  done that  foxy  freak  on  his  bear's  hairs  like  fire  bursting  out  of  the Ump  pyre  and,  half  hang  me,  sirr,  if  he  wasn't  wanting  his calicub  body  back  before  he'd  to  take  his  life  or  so  save  his  life. Then,  begor,  counting  as  many  as  eleven  to  thritytwo  seconds with  his  pocket  browning,  like  I  said,  wann  swanns  wann,  this  is my  awethorrorty,  he  kept  forecursing  hascupth's  foul  Fanden, Cogan,  for  coaccoackey  the  key  of  John  Dunn's  field  fore  it  was for  sent  and  the  way  Montague  was  robbed  and  wolfling  to know  all  what  went  off  and  who  burned  the  hay,  perchance  wilt thoult  say,  before  he'd  kill  all  the  kanes  and  the  price  of  Patsch Purcell's  faketotem,  which  the  man,  his  plantagonist,  up  from  the bog  of  the  depths  who  was  raging  with  the  thirst  of  the  sacred sponge  and  who,  as  a  mashter  of  pasht,  so  far  as  him  was  con- cerned, was  only  standing  there  nonplush  to  the  corner  of  Turbot Street,  perplexing  about  a  paumpshop  and  pupparing  to  spit, wanting  to  know  whelp  the  henconvention's  compuss  memphis he  wanted  with  him  new  nothing  about.
—  A  sarsencruxer,  like  the  Nap  O'  Farrell  Patter  Tandy  moor and  burgess  medley.'^  In  other  words,  was  that  how  in  the  annusual curse  of  things,  as  complement  to  compliment  though,  after  a manner  of  men  which  I  must  and  will  say  seems  extraordinary, their  celicolar  subtler  angelic  warfare  or  photoplay  finister started.'^
5i<5
ft
1'
I
—  Truly.  That  I  may  never!
—  Did  one  scum  then  in  the  auradrama,  the  deff,  after  some clever  play  in  the  mud,  mention  to  the  other  undesirable,  a dumm,  during  diverse  intentional  instants,  that  upon  the  resume after  the  angerus,  how  for  his  deal  he  was  a  pigheaded  Swede  and to  wend  himself  to  a  medicis?
—  To  be  sore  he  did,  the  huggornut!  Only  it  was  turnip- hudded  dunce,  I  beg  your  pardon,  and  he  would  jokes  bowlder- blow  the  betholder  with  his  black  masket  off  the  bawling  green.
—  Sublime  was  the  warning!
—  The  author,  in  fact,  was  mardred.
—  Did  he,  the  first  spikesman,  do  anything  to  him,  the  last spokesman,  when,  after  heaving  some  more  smutt  and  chaff between  them,  they  rolled  togutter  into  the  ditch  together.'^ Black  Pig's  Dyke.;^
—  No,  he  had  his  teeth  in  the  back  of  his  head.
—  Did  Box  then  try  to  shine  his  puss.^
—  No  but  Cox  did  to  shin  the  punman.
—  The  worsted  crying  that  if  never  he  looked  on  Leaverhol- ma's  again  and  the  bester  huing  that  he  might  ever  save  sunlife.'^
—  Trulytruly  Asbestos  he  ever.  And  sowasso  I  never.
—  That  forte  carlysle  touch  breaking  the  campdens  pianoback.
—  Pansh!
—  Are  you  of  my  meaning  that  would  be  going  on  to  about half  noon,  click  o'clock,  pip  emma^  Grinwicker  time,  by  your querqcut  quadrant.^
—  You  will  be  asking  me  and  I  wish  to  higgins  you  wouldn't. Would  it^
—  Let  it  be  twelve  thirty  after  a  somersautch  of  the  tardest!
—  And  it  was  eleven  thirsty  too  befour  in  soandsuch^reloyon  it!
—  Tick  up  on  time.  Howday  you  doom.^  That  rising  day sinks  rosing  in  a  night  of  nine  week's  wonder.
—  Amties,  marcy  buckup !  The  uneven  day  of  the  unleventh month  of  the  unevented  year.  At  mart  in  mass.
—  A  triduum  before  Our  Larry's  own  day.  By  which  of  your chronos,my  man  of  four  watches,  larboard,  starboard,  dog  or  dath.'^
—  Dunsink,  rugby,  ballast  and  ball.  You  can  imagine.
—  Language  this  allsfare  for  the  loathe  of  Marses  ambiviolent about  it.  Will  you  swear  all  the  same  you  saw  their  shadows  a hundred  foot  later,  struggling  diabolically  over  this,  that  and the  other,  their  virtues  pro  and  his  principality  con,  near  the Ruins,  Drogheda  Street,  and  kicking  up  the  devil's  own  dust for  the  Milesian  wind.'^
—  I  will.  I  did.  They  were.  I  swear.  Like  the  heavenly  militia. So  wreck  me  GhyllyguUy !  With  my  tongue  through  my  toecap  on the  headlong  stone  of  kismet  if  so  'tis  the  will  of  Whose  B.  Dunn.
—  Weepin  Lorcans!  They  must  have  put  in  some  wonderful work,  ecad,  on  the  quiet  like,  during  this  arms'  parley,  meatierities forces  vegateareans.  Dost  thou  not  think  so.'^
-Ay.  _
—  The  illegallooking  range  or  fender,  alias  turfing  iron,  a product  of  Hostages  and  Co,  Engineers,  changed  feet  several times  as  briars  revalvered  during  the  weaponswap.^  PifF.'^
—  Puff!  Excuse  yourself.  It  was  an  ersatz  lottheringcan.
—  They  did  not  know  the  war  was  over  and  were  only  bere- belling  or  bereppelling  one  another  by  chance  or  necessity  with sham  bottles,  mere  and  woiney,  as  betwinst  Picturshirts  and Scutticules,  like  their  caractacurs  in  an  Irish  Ruman  to  sorowbrate the  expeltsion  of  the  Danos.'^  What  sayest  thou,  scusascmerul.'^
—  That's  all.  For  he  was  heavily  upright  man,  Limba  romena in  Bucclis  tucsada.  Farcing  gutterish.     •  ),  n
—  I  mean  the  Morgans  and  the  Dorans,  in  finnish.'^
—  I  know  you  don't,  in  Feeney's.
—  The  mujic  of  the  footure  on  the  barbarihams  of  the  bashed.'^ Co  Canniley.'^
—  Da  Donnuley.
—  Yet  this  war  has  meed  peace .'^  In  vovna  viritas.  Ah  chaos  lex, neat  wehr?
—  O  bella!  O  pia!  O  pura!  Amem.  Handwalled  amokst  us. Thanksbeer  to  Balbus!
—  All  the  same  you  sound  it  twould  clang  houlish  like  Hull hopen  for  christmians.'^
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—  But  twill  cling  hellish  like  engels  opened  to  neuropeans,  if you've  sensed,  whole  the  sum.  So  be  vigil!
—  And  this  pattern  pootsch  punnermine  of  concoon  and proprey  went  on,  hog  and  minne,  a  whole  whake,  your  night  after larry's  night,  spittinspite  on  Dora  O'Huggins,  Ormonde  caught butler,  the  artillery  of  the  O'Hefferns  answering  the  cavalry  of  the MacClouds,  fortey  and  more  fortey,  a  thousand  and  one  times, according  to  your  cock  and  a  biddy  story?  Lludillongi,  for  years and  years  perhaps?
—  That's  ri.  This  is  his  largos  life,  this  is  me  timtomtum  and this  is  her  two  peekweeny  ones.  From  the  last  finger  on  the second  foot  of  the  fourth  man  to  the  first  one  on  the  last  one  of the  first.  That's  right.
—  Finny.  Vary  vary  finny!
—  It  may  look  funny  but  fere  it  is.
—  This  is  not  guid  enough,  Mr  Brasslattin.  Finging  and  tong- ing  and  winging  and  ponging!  And  all  your  rally  and  ramp  and rant!  Didget  think  I  was  asleep  at  the  wheel?  D'yu  mean  to  tall grand  jurors  of  thathens  of  tharctic  on  your  oath,  me  lad,  and ask  us  to  believe  you,  for  all  you're  enduring  long  terms,  with yur  last  foot  foremouthst,  that  yur  moon  was  shining  on  the tors  and  on  the  cresties  and  winblowing  night  after  night,  for years  and  years  perhaps,  after  you  swearing  to  it  a  while  back before  your  Corth  examiner,  Markwalther,  that  there  was  reen in  planty  all  the  teem?
—  Perhaps  so,  as  you  grand  duly  affirm,  Robman  Calvinic. I  never  thought  over  it,  faith.  I  most  certainly  think  so  about  it. I  hope.  Unless  it  is  actionable.  It  would  be  a  charity  for  me  to think  about  something  which  I  must  on  no  caste  accounts  omit, if  you  ask  to  me.  It  was  told  me  as  an  inspired  statement  by  a friend  of  myself,  in  reply  to  salute,  Tarpey,  after  three  o'clock mass,  with  forty  ducks  indulgent,  that  some  rain  was  promised to  Mrs  Lyons,  the  invalid  of  Aunt  Tarty  Villa,  with  lots  gulp and  sousers  and  likewise  he  told  me,  the  recusant,  after  telling mass,  with  two  hundred  genuflexions,  at  the  split  hour  of blight  when  bars  are  keeping  so  sly,  as  was  what's  follows.  He
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is  doing  a  walk,  says  she,  in  the  feelmick's  park,  says  he,  like a  tarrable  Turk,  says  she,  letting  loose  on  his  nursery  and, begalla,  he  meet  himself  with  Mr  Michael  Clery  of  a  Tuesday who  said  Father  MacGregor  was  desperate  to  the  bad  place  about thassbawls  and  ejaculating  about  all  the  stairrods  and  the  cats- pew  swashing  his  earwanker  and  thinconvenience  being  locked up  for  months,  owing  to  being  putrenised  by  stragglers  abusing the  apparatus,  and  for  Tarpey  to  pull  himself  into  his  soup  and fish  and  to  push  on  his  borrowsaloaner  and  to  go  to  the  tumple like  greased  lining  and  see  Father  MacGregor  and,  be  Cad,  sir,  he was  to  pipe  up  and  saluate  that  clergyman  and  to  tell  his  holiness the  whole  goat's  throat  about  the  three  shillings  in  the  confusional and  to  say  how  Mrs  Lyons,  the  cuptosser,  was  the  infidel  who prophessised  to  pose  three  shielings  Peter's  pelf  off  her  tocher from  paraguais  and  albs  by  the  yard  to  Mr  Martin  Clery  for Father  Mathew  to  put  up  a  midnight  mask  saints  withins  of  a Thrushday  for  African  man  and  to  let  Brown  child  do  and  to  leave he  Anlone  and  all  the  nuisances  committed  by  soldats  and  non- behavers  and  missbelovers  for  N.D.  de  TEcluse  to  send  more heehaw  hell's  flutes,  my  prodder  again!  And  I  never  brought  my cads  in  togs  blanket!  Foueh!
—  Angly  as  arrows,  but  you  have  right,  my  celtslinger!  Nils, Mugn  and  Cannut.  Should  brothers  be  for  awe  then?
—  So  let  use  off  be  octo  while  oil  bike  the  bil  and  wheel whang  till  wabblin  befoul  you  but  mere  and  mire  trullopes  will knaver  mate  a  game  on  the  bibby  bobby  burns  of.
—  Quatsch !  What  hill  ar  yu  fluking  about,  ye  lamelookond fyats!  I'll  discipline  ye!  Will  you  swear  or  affirm  the  day  to  yur second  sight  noo  and  recant  that  all  yu  affirmed  to  profetised  at first  sight  for  his  southerly  accent  was  all  paddyflaherty?  Will ye,  ay  or  nay?
—  Ay  say  aye.  I  affirmly  swear  to  it  that  it  rooly  and  cooly boolyhooly  was  with  my  holyhagionous  lips  continuously  poised upon  the  rubricated  annuals  of  saint  ulstar.
—  That's  very  guid  of  ye,  R.C.!  Maybe  yu  wouldn't  mind tailing  us,  my  labrose  lad,  how  very  much  bright  cabbage  or
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paperming  comfirts  d'yu  draw  for  all  yur  swearin?  The  spanglers, kiddy?
—  Rootha  prootha.  There  you  have  me!  Vurry  nothing,  O potators,  I  call  it  for  I  might  as  well  tell  yous  Essexelcy,  and  I am  not  swallowing  my  air,  the  Golden  Bridge's  truth.  It  amounts to  nada  in  pounds  or  pence.  Not  a  glass  of  Lucan  nor  as  much  as the  cost  price  of  a  highlandman's  trousertree  or  the  three  crowns round  your  draphole  (isn't  it  dram  disgusting?)  for  the  whole dumb  plodding  thing!
—  Come  now,  Johnny!  We  weren't  born  yesterday.  Pro  tanto quid  retrihuamus?  I  ask  you  to  say  on  your  scotty  pictail  you were  promised  fines  times  with  some  stagger  juice  or  deadhorse, on  strip  or  in  larges,  at  the  Raven  and  Sugarloaf,  either  Jones's lame  or  Jamesy's  gait,  anyhow?
—  Bushmillah!  Do  you  think  for  a  moment?  Yes,  by  the  way. How  very  necessarily  true!  Give  me  fair  play.  When?
—  At  the  Dove  and  Raven  tavern,  no,  ah?  To  wit  your  wiz- zend?
—  Water,  water,  darty  water!  Up  Jubilee  sod!  Beet  peat  wheat treat!
—  What  harm  wants  but  demands  it!  How  would  you  like  to hear  yur  right  name  now,  Ghazi  Power,  my  tristy  minstrel,  if yur  not  freckened  of  frank  comment?
—  Not  afrightened  of  Frank  Annybody's  gaspower  or  ill- conditioned  ulcers  neither.
—  Your  uncles !
—  Your  gullet!
—  Will  you  repeat  that  to  me  outside,  leinconnmuns?
—  After  you've  shouted  a  few?  I  will  when  it  suits  me, hulstler.
—  Guid!  We  make  fight!  Three  to  one!  Raddy?
—  But  no,  from  exemple,  Emania  Raffaroo !  What  do  you have?  What  mean  you,  august  one?  Fairplay  for  Finnians !  I  will have  my  humours.  Sure,  you  would  not  do  the  cowardly  thing and  moll  me  roon?  Tell  Queen's  road  I  am  seilling.  Farewell, but  whenever!  Buy!
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—  Ef  I  chuse  to  put  a  bullet  like  yu  through  the  grill  for heckling  what  business  is  that  of  yours,  yu  bullock?
—  I  don't  know,  sir.  Don't  ask  me,  your  honour!
—  Gently,  gently  Northern  Ire!  Love  that  red  hand!  Let  me once  more.  There  are  sordidly  tales  within  tales,  you  clearly understand  that?  Now  my  other  point.  Did  you  know,  whether by  melanodactylism  or  purely  libationally,  that  one  of  these  two Crimeans  with  the  fender,  the  taller  man,  was  accused  of  a  cer- tain offence  or  of  a  choice  of  two  serious  charges,  as  skirts  were divided  on  the  subject,  if  you  like  it  better  that  way?  You  did, you  rogue,  you?
—  You  hear  things.  Besides  (and  serially  now)  bushes  have eyes,  don't  forget.  Hah!
—  Which  moral  turpitude  would  you  select  of  the  two,  for choice,  if  you  had  your  way?  Playing  bull  before  shebears  or  the hindlegs  off  a  clotheshorse?  Did  any  orangepeelers  or  green- goaters  appear  periodically  up  your  sylvan  family  tree?
—  Buggered  if  I  know!  It  all  depends  on  how  much  family silver  you  want  for  a  nass-and-pair.  Hah!
—  What  do  you  mean,  sir,  behind  your  hah!  You  don't  hah to  do  thah,  you  know,  snapograph.
—  Nothing,  sir.  Only  a  bone  moving  into  place.  Blotogaff. Hahah!
—  Whahat?
—  Are  you  to  have  all  the  pleasure  quizzing  on  me?  I  didn't say  it  aloud,  sir.  I  have  something  inside  of  me  talking  to  myself.
—  You're  a  nice  third  degree  witness,  faith!  But  this  is  no laughing  matter.  Do  you  think  we  are  tonedeafs  in  our  noses  to boot?  Can  you  not  distinguish  the  sense,  prain,  from  the  sound, bray?  You  have  homosexual  catheis  of  empathy  between  narcis- sism of  the  expert  and  steatopygic  invertedness.  Get  yourself psychoanolised !
—  O,  begor,  I  want  no  expert  nursis  symaphy  from  yours broons  quadroons  and  I  can  psoakoonaloose  myself  any  time  I want  (the  fog  follow  you  all !)  without  your  interferences  or  any other  pigeonstealer.
522
%  6,  ^
—  Sample!  Sample!
—  Have  you  ever  weflected,  wepowtew,  that  the  evil  what though  it  was  willed  might  nevewtheless  lead  somehow  on  to good  towawd  the  genewality?
—  A  pwopwo  of  haster  meets  waster  and  talking  of  plebiscites by  a  show  of  hands,  whether  declaratory  or  effective,  in  all seriousness,  has  it  become  to  dawn  in  you  yet  that  the  deponent, thejnan  from  Saint  Yves^  may  have  been  (one  is  reluctant  to  use the„  passive  voiced)  may  be  been  as  much  sinned  against  as  sin- ning, for  if  we  look  at  it  verbally  perhaps  there  is  no  true  noun  in active  nature  where  every  bally  being  —  please  read  this  mufto —  is  becoming  in  its  owntown  eyeballs.  Now  the  long  form  and the  strong  form  and  reform  alltogether!
—  Hotchkiss  Culthur's  Ej^errea;dy,  one  brother  to  never- reached,  well  over  countless  hands,  sieur  of  many  winners  and losers,  groomed  by  S.  Samson  and  son,  bred  by  dilalahs,  will stand  at  Bay  (Dublin)  from  nun  till  dan  and  vites  inversion  and at  Miss  or  Mrs's  MacMannigan's  Yard.
—  Perhaps  you  can  explain,  sagobean.'^  The  Mod  needs  a rebus.
—  Pro  general  continuation  and  in  particular  explication  to your  singular  interrogation  our  asseveralation.  Ladiegent,  pals will  smile  but  me  and  Frisky  Shorty,  my  inmate  friend,  as  is  un- common struck  on^oplar  poetry,  and  a  few  fleabesides  round  at West  Pauper  Bosquet,  was  glad  to  be  back  again  with  the  chaps and  just  arguing  friendlylike  at  the  Doddercan  Easehouse  having a  wee  chatty  with  our  hosty  in  his  comfy  estably  over  the  old middlesex  party  and  his  moral  turps,  meaning  flu,  pock,  pox and  mizzles,  grip,  gripe,  gleet  and  sprue,  caries,  rabies,  numps and  dumps.  What  me  and  Frisky  in  our  concensus  and  the  whole douBle~"^gscrew  of  suscribers,  notto  say  the  burman,  having successfully  concluded  our  tour  of  bifeel,  wants  to  know  is  thisa- here.  Supposing,  for  an  ethical  fict,  him,  which  the  findings showed,  to  have  taken  his  epscene  licence  before  the  norsect's divisional  respectively  as  regards  them  male  privates  and  or concomitantly  with  all  common  or  neuter  respects  to  them
523
public  exess  females,  whereas  allbeit  really  sweet  fillies,  as  was very  properly  held  by  the  metropolitan  in  connection  with  this regrettable  nuisance,  touching  arbitrary  conduct,  being  in  strict contravention  of  schedule  in  board  of  forests  and  works  bylaws regulationing  sparkers'  and  succers'  amusements  section  of  our beloved  naturpark  in  pursuance  of  which  police  agence  me  and Shorty  have  approached  a  reverend  gentlman  of  the  name  of Mr  Coppinger  with  reference  to  a  piece  of  fire  fittings  as  was most  obliging,  'pon  my  sam,  in  this  matter  of  his  explanations affirmative,  negative  and  limitative,  given  to  me  and  Shorty, touching  what  the  good  book  says  of  toooldaisymen,  concerning the  merits  of  early  bisectualism,  besides  him  citing  from  approved lectionary  example  given  by  a  valued  friend  of  the  name  of  Mr J.  P.  Cockshott,  reticent  of  England,  as  owns  a  pretty  maisonette, Quis  ut  DeuSy  fronting  on  to  the  Soussex  Bluffs  as  was  telling  us categoric  how  Mr  Cockshott,  as  he  had  his  assignation  with, present  holder  by  deedpoll  and  indenture  of  the  swearing  belt, he  tells  him  hypothetic,  the  reverend  Mr  Coppinger,  hereckons himself  disjunctively  with  his  windwarrd  eye  up  to  a  dozen  miles of  a  cunifarm  school  of  herring,  passing  themselves  supernatently by  the  Bloater  Naze  from  twelve  and  them  mayridinghim  by  the silent  hour.  Butting,  charging,  bracing,  backing,  springing, shrinking,  swaying,  darting,  shooting,  bucking  and  sprinkling their  dossies  sodouscheock  with  the  twinx  of  their  taylz.  And, reverend,  he  says,  summat  problematical,  by  yon  socialist  sun, gut  me,  but  them  errings  was  as  gladful  as  Wissixy  kippers  could be  considering,  flipping  their  little  coppingers,  pot  em,  the  fresh little  flirties,  the  dirty  little  gillybrighteners,  pickle  their  spratties, the  little  smoky  gallockers,  and,  reverend,  says  he,  more  asser- titoff,  zwelf  me  Zeus,  says  he,  lettin  olfac  be  the  extench  of  the supperfishies,  lamme  the  curves  of  their  scaligerance  and  pesk the  everurge  flossity  of  their  pectoralium,  them  litde  salty  popu- lators,  says  he,  most  apodictic,  as  sure  as  my  briam  eggs  is  on cockshot  under  noose,  all  them  little  upandown  dippies  they  was all  of  a  libidous  pickpuckparty  and  raid  on  a  wriggolo  finsky doodah  in  testimonials  to  their  early  bisectualism.  Such,  he  says,
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is  how  the  reverend  Coppinger,  he  visualises  the  hidebound homelies  of  creed  crux  ethics.  Watsch  yourself  tillicately  every morkning  in  your  bracksullied  twilette.  The  use  of  cold  water, testificates  Dr  Rutty,  may  be  warmly  recommended  for  the  sug- jugation  of  cungunitals  loosed.  Tolloll,  schools!
—  Tallhell  and  Barbados  wi  ye  and  your  Errian  coprulation! Pelagiarist!  Remonstrant  Montgomeryite !  Short  lives  to  your relatives!  Y'are  absexed,  so  y'are,  with  mackerglosia  and  mick- roocyphyllicks.
—  Wait  now,  leixlep  !,Xscent  eggoarchicism.  I  will  take  you to  task.  I  don't  follow^ou  that  far  in  your  otherwise  accurate account.  Was  it  esox  lucius  or  salmo  ferax?  You  are  taxing  us into  the  driven  future,  are  you  not,  with  this  ruttymaid  fishery.'^
—  Lalia  Lelia  Lilia  Lulia  and  lively  lovely  Lola  Montez.
—  Gubbernathor !  That  they  say  is  a  fenian  on  the  secret. Named  Parasol  Irelly.  Spawning  ova  and  fry  like  a  marrye monach  all  amanygoround  his  seven  parish  churches!  And peopling  the  ribald  baronies  with  dans,  oges  and  conals !
—  Lift  it  now,  Hosty!  Hump's  your  mark!  For  a  runnymede landing!  A dondhering  vesh  vish^ Magnam  Carpam^QS  hit  neat  zoo.'^
—  There  s  an  old  psalmsobbing  lax  salmoner  fogeyboren  Herrin IHundehgwse,  ^/^
Who  went  floundering  with  his  boatloads  of  spermin  spunk  about.
Leaping  freck  after  every  long  torn  and  wet  lissy  between  Howth  and
Humbermouth.
Our  Human  Conger  Eel!
—  Help!  1  can  see  him  in  the  fishnoo!  Up  wi'yer  whippy! Hold  that  lad!  Play  him,  Markandeyn!  Bullhead!
—  Pull  you,  sir!  Olive  quill  does  it.  Longeal  of  Malin,  he'll cry^  before  he's  flayed.  And  his  tear  make  newisland.  Did  a  rise.'* Way,  lungfush!  The  great  fin  rnay  cumule!  Three  threeth  o'er the  wild!  Manu  ware!
—  He  missed  her  mouth  and  stood  into  Dee,  Romunculus Remus,  plying  the  rape,  so  as  now  any  bompriss's  bound  to  get up  her  if  he  pool  her  leg  and  bunk  on  her  butt.  No,  he  skid  like a  skate  and  berthed  on  her  byrnie  and  never  a  fear  but  they'll
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land  him  yet,  slitheryscales  on  liffeybank,  times  and  times  and halve  a  time  with  a  pillow  of  sand  to  polster  him.
—  Do  you  say  they  wilL^  ^^y-rf^  i^Uf — J  bet  you  they  will.
—  Among  the  shivering  sedges  so?  Weedy  waving.
—  Or  tulipbeds  of  Rush  below.
—  Where  you  take  your  mugs  to  wash  after  dark?
—  To  my  lead,  Toomey  lout.  Tommy  lad.
—  Besides  the  bubblye  waters  of,  babblyebubblye  waters  of?
—  Right.
1^'^     —  Grenadiers.  And  tell  me  now.  Were  these  anglers  or  angel- ^  ers  coexistent  and  compresent  with  or  without  their  tertium  quid?
—  Three  in  oney  one  and  three,       \  I  j  . Shem  and  Shaun  and  the  shame  that  sunders  em. Wisdom's  son,  folly's  brother,
—  God  bless  your  ginger,  wigglewaggle !  That's  three  slots and  no  burners.  You're  forgetting  the  jinnyjos  for  the  fayboys. What,  Walker  John  Referent?  Play  us  your  patmost!  And  un- packyoulloups!
—  Naif  Cruachan!  Woe  on  woe,  says  Wardeb  Daly.  Woman will  water  the  wild  world  over.  And  the  maid  of  the  folley  will  go where  glory.  Sure  I  thought  it  was  larking  in  the  trefoil  of  the  furry glans  with  two  stripping  baremaids,  Stilla  Underwood  and  Moth MacGarry,  he  was,  hand  to  dagger,  that  time  and  their  mother,  a rawkneepudsfrowse,  I  was  given  to  understand,  with  superflow- vius  heirs,  begum.  There  was  that  one  that  was  always  mad  gone on  him,  her  first  king  of  cloves  and  the  most  broadcussed  man in  Corrack-on-Sharon,  County  Rosecarmon.  Sure  she  was  near drowned  in  pondest  coldstreams  of  admiration  forherself,  as  bad as  my  Tarpeyan  cousin,  Vesta  Tully,  making  faces  at  her  bach- spilled  likeness  in  the  brook  after  and  cooling  herself  in  the element,  she  pleasing  it,  she  praising  it,  with  salices  and  weidow- wehls,  all  tossed,  as  she  was,  the  playactrix,  Lough  Shieling's  love !
—  O,  add  shielsome  bridelittle!  All  of  her  own!  Nircississies are  as  the  doaters  of  inversion,  Secilas  through  their  laughing classes  becoming  poolermates  in  laker  life.
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—  It  seems  to  same  with  Iscappellas?  Ys?  Gotellus!  A  tickey  (^^^^^ for  tie  taughts!     ^q^Lo  ^  ^^^"^^
.  — Listenest,  meme  mearest!  They  were  harrowd,  those  fin- ^  ^^'"^ weeds!  Come,  rest  in  this  bosom!  So  sorry  you  lost  him,  poor lamb!  Of  course  I  know  you  are  a  viry  vikid  girl  to  go  in  the MO  e  drcemplace  and  at  that  time  of  the  draym  and  it  was  a  very  wrong thing  to  do,  even  under  the  dark  flush  of  night,  dare  all  grand- passia!  He's  gone  on  his  bombashaw.  Through  geesing  and  so pleasing  at  Strip  Teasy  up  the  stairs.  The  boys  on  the  corner  were talking  too.  And  your  soreful  miseries  first  come  on  you.  Still  to forgive  it,  divine  my  lickle  wiffey,  and  everybody  knows  you  do Mook  lovely  in  your  invinsibles,  Eulogia,  a  perfect  apposition  with  ^"^'Sl the  coldcream,  Assoluta,  from  Boileau's  I  always  use  in  the  wards after  I  am  burned  a  rich  egg  and  derive  the  greatest  benefit, sign  of  the  cause.  My,  you  do!  Simply  adorable!  Could  I  but pass  my  hands  some,  my  hands  through,  thine  hair!  So  vicky- vicky  veritiny!  O  Fronces,  say  howdyedo,  Dotty!  Chic  hands. The  way  they  curve  there  under  nue  charmeen  cuffs !  I  am  more divine  like  that  when  Fve  two  of  everything  up  to  boyproof knicks.  Winning  in  a  way,  only  my  arms  are  whiter,  dear. Blanchemain,  idler.  Fairhair,  frail  one.  Listen,  meme  sweety!  O be  joyfold!  Mirror  do  justice,  taper  of  ivory,  heart  of  the  cona- vent,  hoops  of  gold !  My  veil  will  save  it  undyeing  from  his  ether- nal  fire!  It's  rneemly  us  two,  meme  idoll.  Of  course  it  was  down- right verry  wickred  of  him,  reely  meeting  me  disguised,  Bortolo mio,  peerfectly  appealling,  D.V.,  with  my  lovebirds,  my  colom- binas.  Their  sinsitives  shrinked.  Even  Netta  and  Linda,  our  seeyu tities  and  they've  sin  sumtim,  tankus!  My  rillies  were  liebeneaus, my  aftscents  embre.  How  me  adores  eatsother  simply  (Mon  ishe- beau!  Ma  reinebelle !),  in  his  storm  collar,  as  I  leaned  yestreen from  his  muskished  labs,  even  my  little  pom  got  excited,  when  I turned  his  head  on  his  same  manly  bust  and  kissed  him  more. Only  he  might  speak  to  a  person,  lord  so  picious,  taking  up  my worths  ill  wrong!  May  I  introduce!  This  is  my  futuous,  lips  and looks  lovelast.  Still  me  with  you,  you  poor  chilled !  Will  make  it up  with  mother  Concepcion  and  a  glorious  lie  between  us,
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sweetness,  so  as  not  a  novene  in  all  the  convent  loretos,  not  my littlest  one  of  all,  for  mercy's  sake  need  ever  know,  what  passed our  lips  or.  Yes  sir,  we'll  will  I  Clothea  wind !  Fee  o  fie  I  Covey  us niced!  Bansh  the  dread!  Alitten's  looking.  Low  him  lovly!  Make me  feel  good  in  the  moontime.  It  will  all  take  bloss  as  oranged  at St  Audiens  rosan  chocolate  chapelry  with  my  diamants  blickfeast after  at  minne  owned  hos  for  all  the  catclub  to  go  cryzy  and Father  Blesius  Mindelsinn  will  be  beminding  hand.  Kyrielle  ela- tion! Crystal  elation!  Kyrielle  elation!  Elation  immanse!  Sing  to us,  sing  to  us,  sing  to  us!  Amam!  So  meme  nearest,  languished hister,  be  free  to  me!  (Fm  fading!)  And  listen,  you,  you  beauty, esster,  Fll  be  clue  to  who  knows  you,  pray  Magda,  Marthe  with Luz  and  Joan,  while  I  lie  with  warm  lisp  on  the  Tolka.  (Fm  fay!)
—  Eusapia!  Fais-le,  tout-tait!  Languishing  hysteria.'^  The  clou historique.'^  How  is  this  at  all.^  Is  dads  the  thing  in  such  or  are tits  the  that.'^  Hear  we  here  her  first  poseproem  of  suora  unto suora.'^  Alicious,  twinstreams  twinestraines,  through  alluring glass  or  alas  in  jumboland.'^  Ding  dong!  Where's  your  pal  in silks  alustre?  Think  of  a  maiden,  Presentacion.  Double  hjr,  An- nupciacion.  Take  your  first  thoughts  away  from  her,  Immacola- cion.  Knock  and  it  shall  appall  unto  you!  Who  shone  yet  shim- mers will  be  e'er  scheining.  Cluse  her,  voil  her,  hild  her  hindly. After  liryc  and  themodius  soft  agio  iris  of  the  vals.  This  young barlady,  what,  euphemiasly.'*  Is  she  having  an  ambidual  act  her- self in  apparition  with  herself  as  Consuelas  to  Sonias  may.'^
—  Dang!  And  tether,  a  loguy  O!
—  Dis  and  dat  and  dese  and  dose !  Your  crackling  out  of  your turn,  my  Moonster  firefly,  like  always.  And  2  R.N.  and  Long- horns  Connacht,  stay  off  my  air!  You've  grabbed  the  capital  and you've  had  the  lion's  shire  since  1542  but  there's  all  the  difference in  Ireland  between  your  borderation,  my  chatty  cove,  and  me.  The leinstrel  boy  to  the  wall  is  gone  and  there's  moreen  astoreen  for Monn  and  Conn.  With  the  tyke's  named  moke.  Doggymens' nimmer  win!  You  last  led  the  first  when  we  last  but  we'll  first trump  your  last  with  a  lasting.  Jump  the  railchairs  or  take  them, as  you  please,  but  and,  sir,  my  queskins  first,  foxyjack!  Ye've  as much  skullabogue  cheek  on  you  now  as  would  boil  a  caldron  of
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I
kalebrose.  Did  the  market  missioners  Hayden  Wombwell,  when given  the  raspberry,  fine  more  than  sandsteen  per  cent  of  chalk in  the  purity,  promptitude  and  perfection  flour  of  this  raw materialist  and  less  than  a  seventh  pro  mile  in  his  meal?  We bright  young  chaps  of  the  brandnew  braintrust  are  briefed  here and  with  maternal  sanction  compellably  empanelled  at  quarter sessions  under  the  six  disqualifications  for  the  uniformication  of young  persons  (Nodding  Neutrals)  removal  act  by  Committal- man  Number  Underfifteen  to  know  had  the  peeress  of  generals, who  have  been  getting  nose  money  cheap  and  stirring  up  the public  opinion  about  private  balls  with  their  legs.  Misses  Mirtha and  Merry,  the  two  dreeper's  assistents,  had  they  their  service books  in  order  and  duly  signed  J.  H.  North  and  Company  when discharged  from  their  last  situations?  Will  ye  gup  and  tell  the board  in  the  anterim  how,  in  the  name  of  the  three  tailors  on Tooley  Street,  did  O'Bejorumsen  or  Mockmacmahonitch,  ex  of Butt  and  Hocksett's,  violating  the  bushel  standard,  come  into awful  position  of  the  barrel  of  bellywash?  And  why,  is  it  any  harm to  ask,  was  this  hackney  man  in  the  coombe,  a  papersalor  with a  whiteluke  to  him,  Fauxfitzhuorson,  collected  from  Manofisle, carrying  his  ark,  of  eggshaped  fuselage  and  made  in  Fredborg into  the  bullgine,  across  his  back  when  he  might  have  been setting  on  his  jonass  inside  like  a  Glassthure  cabman?  Where were  the  doughboys,  three  by  nombres,  won  in  ziel,  cavehill exers  or  hearts  of  steel,  Hansen,  Morfydd  and  O'Dyar,  V.D., with  their  glenagearries  directing  their  steps  according  to  the R.U.C's  liaison  officer,  with  their  trench  ulcers  open  and their  hands  in  their  pockets,  contrary  to  military  rules,  when confronted  with  his  lifesize  obstruction?  When  did  he  live  off rooking  the  pooro  and  how  did  start  pfuffpfaffing  at  his  Paterson and  Hellicott's?  Is  it  a  factual  fact,  proved  up  to  scabsteethshilt, that  this  fancydress  nordic  in  shaved  lamb  breeches,  child's  kilts, bibby  buntings  and  Wellingtons,  with  club,  tore  and  headdress, preholder  of  the  Bar  Ptolomei,  is  coowner  of  a  hengster's  circus near  North  Great  Denmark  Street  (incidentally,  it's  the  most unjoyable  show  going  the  province  and  Fm  taking  the  youngsters
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there  Saturday  first  when  it's  halfprice  naturals  night  to  see  the fallensickners  aping  the  buckleybackers  and  the  blind  to  two worlds  taking  ofF  the  defFydowndummies)  and  the  shamshem- showman  has  been  complaining  to  the  police  barracks  and applying  for  an  order  of  certiorari  and  crying  out  something  vile about  him  being  molested,  after  him  having  triplets,  by  offers  of vacancies  from  females  in  this  city,  neighing  after  the  man  and  his outstanding  attraction  ever  since  they  seen  his  X  ray  picture  turned out  in  wealthy  red  in  the  sabbath  sheets?  Was  it  him  that  suborned that  surdumutual  son  of  his,  a  litterydistributer  in  Saint  Patrick's Lavatory,  to  turn  a  Roman  and  leave  the  chayr  and  gout  in  his bare  balbriggans,  the  sweep,  and  buy  the  usual  jar  of  porter  at the  Morgue  and  Cruses  and  set  it  down  before  the  wife  with  her fireman's  halmet  on  her,  bidding  her  mine  the  hoose,  the  strum- pet, while  him  and  his  lagenloves  were  rampaging  the  roads  in all  their  paroply  under  the  noses  of  the  Heliopolitan  constabu- lary? Can  you  beat  it?  Prepare  the  way!  Where's  that  gendarm auxiliar,  arianautic  sappertillery,  that  reported  on  the  whole  hood- lum, relying  on  his  morse-erse  wordybook  and  the  trunchein  up his  tail?  Roof  Seckesign  van  der  Deckel  and  get  her  story  from him !  Recall  Sickerson,  the  lizzyboy !  Seckersen,  magnon  of  Errick. Sackerson!  Hookup!
—  Day  shirker  four  vanfloats  he  verdants  market. High  liquor  made  lust  torpid  dough  hunt  her  orchid,
—  Hunt  her  orchid!  Gob  and  he  found  it  on  her  right  enough! With  her  shoes  upon  his  shoulders,  'twas  most  trying  to  be- holders when  he  upped  their  frullatuUepleats  with  our  warning. A  disgrace  to  the  homely  protestant  religion!  Bloody  old  pre- adamite  with  his  twohandled  umberella!  Trust  me  to  spy  on  me own  spew!
—  Wallpurgies !  And  it's  this's  your  deified  city?  Norganson? And  it's  we's  to  pray  for  Bigmesser's  conversions?  Call  Kitty  the Beads,  the  Mandame  of  Tipknock  Castle !  Let  succuba  succumb,  the improvable  his  wealth  made  possible!  He's  cookinghagar  that  rost her  prayer  to  him  upon  the  top  of  the  stairs.  She's  deep,  that  one.
—  A  farternoiser  for  his  tuckish  armenities.  Ouhr  Former
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[
who  erred  in  having  down  to  gibbous  disdag  our  darling  breed. And  then  the  confisieur  for  the  boob's  indulligence.  As  sunctioned for  his  salmenbog  by  the  Councillors-om-Trent.  Pave  Pannem at  his  gaiter's  bronze!  Nummer  half  dreads  Log  Laughty.  Mas- ter's gunne  he  warrs  the  bedst.  I  messaged  his  dilltoyds  sause- pander  mussels  on  the  kisschen  table.  With  my  ironing  duck through  his  rollpins  of  gansyfett,  do  dodo  doughdy  dough,  till he  was  braising  red  in  the  toastface  with  lovensoft  eyebulbs  and his  kiddledrum  steeming  and  rattling  like  the  roasties  in  my mockamill.  I  awed  to  have  scourched  his  Abarm's  brack  for  him. For  the  loaf  of  Obadiah,  take  your  pastryart's  noas  out  of  me flouer  bouckuet!  Of  the  strainger  scene  you  given  squeezers  to me  skillet!  As  cream  of  the  hearth  thou  reinethst  alhome.  His lapper  and  libbers  was  glue  goulewed  as  he  sizzled  there  watch- ing me  lautterick's  pitcher  by  Wexford-Atelier  as  Katty  and Lanner,  the  refined  souprette,  with  my  bust  alia  brooche  and  the padbun  under  my  matelote,  showing  my  jigotty  sleeves  and  all my  new  toulong  touloosies.  Whisk!  There's  me  shims  and  here's me  hams  and  this  is  me  juppettes,  gause  be  the  meter!  Whisk! What's  this.^  Whisk!  And  that.^  He  never  cotched  finer,  balay me,  at  Romiolo  Frullini's  flea  pantamine  out  of  Griddle-the-Sink or  Shusies-with-her-Soles-Up  or  La  Sauzerelly,  the  pucieboots, when  I  started  so  hobmop  ladlelike,  highty  tighty,  to  kick  the time  off  the  cluckclock  lucklock  quamquam  camcam  potapot panapan  kickakickkack.  Hairhorehounds,  shake  up  pfortner. Fuddling  fun  for  Fullacan's  sake!
—  All  halt!  Sponsor  programme  and  close  down.  That's enough,  genral,  of  finicking  about  Finnegan  and  fiddling  with his  faddles.  A  final  ballot,  guvnor,  to  remove  all  doubt.  By  sylph and  salamander  and  all  the  trolls  and  tritons,  I  mean  to  top  her drive  and  to  tip  the  tap  of  this,  at  last.  His  thoughts  that  wouldbe words,  his  livings  that  havebeen  deeds.  And  will  too,  by  the  holy child  of  Coole,  primapatriock  of  the  archsee,  if  I  have  at  first to  down  every  mask  in  Trancenania  from  Terreterry's  Hole  to Stutterers'  Corner  to  find  that  YokeofF  his  letter,  this  Yokan  his dahet.  Pass  the  jousters  of  the  king,  the  Kovnor-Journal  and
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eirenarch's  custos  himself  no  less,  the  meg  of  megs,  with  the  Garri- son old  gang!  Off  with  your  persians!  Search  ye  the  Finn!  The sinder's  under  shriving  sheet.  Fa  Fe  Fi  Fo  Fum!  Ho,  croak, evildoer!  Arise,  sir  ghostus!  As  long  as  youVe  lived  there'll  be  no other.  Doff!
—  Amtsadam,  sir,  to  you!  Eternest  cittas,  heil!  Here  we  are again !  I  am  bubub  brought  up  under  a  camel  act  of  dynasties  long out  of  print,  the  first  of  Shitric  Shilkanbeard  (or  is  it  Owllaugh MacAuscullpth  the  Thord.'^),  but,  in  pontofacts  massimust,  I  am known  throughout  the  world  wherever  my  good  Allenglisches Angleslachsen  is  spoken  by  Sail  and  Will  from  Augustanus  to Ergastulus,  as  this  is,  whether  in  Farnum's  rath  or  Condra's ridge  or  the  meadows  of  Dalkin  or  Monkish  tunshep,  by  saints and  sinners  eyeeye  alike  as  a  cleanliving  man  and,  as  a  matter  of fict,  by  my  halfwife,  I  think  how  our  public  at  large  appreciates it  most  highly  from  me  that  I  am  as  cleanliving  as  could  be  and that  my  game  was  a  fair  average  since  I  perpetually  kept  my ouija  ouija  wicket  up.  On  my  verawife  I  never  was  nor  can  afford to  be  guilty  of  crim  crig  con  of  malfeasance  trespass  against  par- son with  the  person  of  a  youthful  gigirl  frifrif  friend  chirped Apples,  acted  by  Miss  Dashe,  and  with  Any  of  my  cousines  in Kissilov's  Slutsgartern  or  Gigglotte's  Hill,  when  I  would  touch to  her  dot  and  feel  most  greenily  of  her  unripe  ones  as  it  should prove  most  anniece  and  far  too  bahad,  nieceless  to  say,  to  my reputation  on  Babbyl  Malket  for  daughters-in-trade  being  lightly clad.  Yet,  as  my  acquainters  do  me  the  complaisance  of  apprising me,  I  should  her  have  awristed  under  my  duskguise  of  whippers through  toombs  and  deempeys,  lagmen,  was  she  but  tinkling  of such  a  tink.  And,  as  a  mere  matter  of  ficfect,  I  tell  of  myself  how I  popo  possess  the  ripest  littlums  wifukie  around  the  globelettes globes  upon  which  she  was  romping  off  on  Floss  Mundai  out  of haram's  way  round  Skinner's  circusalley  first  with  her  consola- tion prize  in  my  serial  dreams  of  faire  women,  Mannequins  Passe, with  awards  in  figure  and  smile  subsections,  handicapped  by  two breasts  in  operatops,  a  remarkable  little  endowment  garment. Fastened  at  various  places.  What  spurt!  I  kickkick  keenly  love
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i
I
I
such,  particularly  while  savouring  of  their  flavours  at  their  most perfect  best  when  served  with  heliotrope  ayelips,  as  this  is,  where I  do  drench  my  jolly  soul  on  the  pu  pure  beauty  of  hers  past.
She  is  my  bestpreserved  wholewife,  sowell  her  as  herafter,  in Evans's  eye,  with  incompatibly  the  smallest  shoenumber  outside chinatins.  They  are  jolly  dainty,  spekin  tluly.  May  we  not  recom- mend them?  It  was  my  proofpiece  from  my  prenticeserving. And,  alas,  our  private  chaplain  of  Lambeyth  and  Dolekey,  bishop- regionary,  an  always  sadfaced  man,  in  his  lutestring  pewcape  with tabinet  band,  who  has  visited  our  various  hard  hearts  and  reins by  imposition  of  fufuf  fingers,  olso  haddock's  fumb,  in  that Upper  Room  can  speak  loud  to  you  some  quite  complimentary things  about  my  clean  charactering,  even  when  detected  in  the dark,  distressful  though  such  recital  prove  to  me,  as  this  is,  when I  introduced  her  (Frankfurters,  numborines,  why  drive  fear?)  to our  fourposter  tunies  chantreying  under  Castrucci  Sinior  and  De Mellos,  those  whapping  oldsteirs,  with  sycamode  euphonium  in either  notation  in  our  altogether  cagehaused  duckyheim  on Goosna  Greene,  that  cabinteeny  homesweetened  through  affec- tion's hoardpayns  (First  Murkiss,  or  so  they  sankeyed.  Dodo!  O Clearly!  And  Gregorio  at  front  with  Johannes  far  in  back.  Aw, aw!),  gleeglom  there's  gnome  sweepplaces  like  theresweep  No- whergs.  By  whom,  as  my  Kerk  Findlater's,  ye  litel  chuch  rond ye  coner,  and  K.  K.  Katakasm  enjoineth  in  the  Belief  and,  as  you all  know,  of  a  child,  dear  Humans,  one  of  my  life's  ambitions  of my  youngend  from  an  early  peepee  period  while  still  to  hedje- skool,  intended  for  broadchurch,  I,  being  fully  alive  to  it,  was parruchially  confirmed  in  Caulofat's  bed  by  our  bujibuji  beloved curate-author.  Michael  Engels  is  your  man.  Let  Michael  relay Sutton  and  tell  you  people  here  who  have  the  phoney  habit  (it was  remarketable)  in  his  clairaudience,  as  this  is,  as  only  our  own Michael  can,  when  reicherout  at  superstation,  to  bring  ruptures to  our  roars  how  I  am  amp  amp  amplify.  Hiemlancollin.  Pim- pim's  Ornery  forninehalf.  Shaun  Shemsen  saywhen  saywhen. Holmstock  unsteaden.  Livpoomark  lloyrge  hoggs  one  four  tupps noying.  Big  Butter  Boost!  Sorry!  Thnkyou!  Thatll  beall  for-
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tody.  Cal  it  off.  Godnotch,  vryboily.  End  a  muddy  crushmess! Abbreciades  anew  York  gustoms.  Kyow!  Tak.
—  Tiktak.  Tikkak.
—  Awind  abuzz  awater  falling.
—  Poor  a  CO  we  his  jew  placator.     J^<,^  li  i  4  4^
—  It*s  the  damp  damp  damp.
—  Calm  has  entered.  Big  big  Calm,  announcer.  It  is  most ernst  terooly  a  moresome  intartenment.  Colt's  tooth!  I  will  give tandsel  to  it.  I  protest  there  is  luttrelly  not  one  teaspoonspill  of evidence  at  bottomlie  to  my  babad,  as  you  shall  see,  as  this  is. Keemun  Lapsang  of  first  pickings.  And  I  contango  can  take  off my  dudud  dirtynine  articles  of  quoting  here  in  Pynix  Park  be- fore those  in  heaven  to  provost  myself,  by  gramercy  of  justness, I  mean  veryman  and  moremon,  stiff  and  staunch  for  ever,  and enter  under  the  advicies  from  Misrs  Norris,  Southby,  Yates  and Weston,  Inc,  to  their  favoured  client,  into  my  preprotestant  caveat against  the  pupup  publication  of  libel  by  any  tixtim  tipsyloon  or tobtomtowley  of  Keisserse  Lean  (a  bloweyed  lanejoymt,  waring lowbelt  suit,  with  knockbrecky  kenees  and  bullfist  rings  round him  and  a  fallse  roude  axehand  (he  is  cunvesser  to  Saunter's Nocelettres  and  the  Poe's  Toffee's  Directory  in  his  pisness),  the best  begrudged  man  in  Belgradia  who  doth  not  belease  to  our paviour)  to  my  nonesuch,  that  highest  personage  at  moments holding  down  the  throne.  So  to  speak  of  beauty  scouts  in  elegant pursuit  of  flowers,  searchers  for  tabernacles  and  the  celluloid  art! Happen  seen  sore  eynes  belived.'^  The  caca  cad!  He  walked  by North  Strand  with  his  Thom's  towel  in  hand.  Snakeeye!  Strangler of  soffiacated  green  parrots!  I  protest  it  that  he  is,  by  my wipehalf.  He  was  leaving  out  of  my  double  inns  while  he  was  all teppling  over  my  single  ixits.  So  was  keshaned  on  for  his  recent behaviour.  Sherlpok  is  lorking  for  him.  Allare  beltspanners. Get  your  air  curZTshame  upon  Private  M!  Shames  on  his  ful- someness!  Shartius  on  his  atkinscum's  lulul  lying  suulen  for  an outcast  mastiff  littered  in  blood  currish!  Eristocras  till  Hanging Tower!  Steck  a  javelin  through  his  advowtried  heart!  Instaun- ton!  Flap,  my'Larrybird!  Dangle,  my  highflyer!  Jiggety  jig  my
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jackadandyline!  Let  me  never  see  his  waddphez  again!  And  mine it  was,  Barktholed  von  Hunarig,  Soesown  of  Furrows  (hour- springlike  his  joussture,  immitiate  my  chry!  as  urs  now,  so  yqus^ .then!),  when  to  our  lot  it  fell  on  my  poplar  Sexsex,  my  Sexen- centaurnary,  whenby  Gate  of  Hal,  before  his  hostel  of  the  Wodin Man,  I  hestened  to  freeholdit  op  to  his  Mam  his  Maman,  Majus- cules, His  Magnus  Maggerstick,  first  city's  leasekuays  of  this Nova  Tara,  our  most  noble,  when  hrossbucked  on  his  pricelist charger,  Pferdinamd  Allibuster  (yeddonot  need  light  oar  till Noreway  for  you  fanned  one  o'er  every  doorway)  with  my  all- bum's  greethims  through  this  whole  of  my  promises,  handshakey congrandyoulikethems,  ecclesency.
Whosaw  the  jackery  dares  at  handgripper  thisa  breast?  Dose makkers  ginger.  Some  one  we  was  with  us  all  fours.  Adversarian! The  spiking  Duy vil !  First  liar  in  Londsend !  Wulv !  See  you  scar- gore  on  that  skeepsbrow!  And  those  meisies!  Sulken  taarts!  Man sicker  at  I  ere  bluffet  konservative.'^  Shucks!  Such  ratshause  bugs- mess  so  I  cannot  barely  conceive  of!  Lowest  basemeant  in  hystry ! Ibscenest  nansence!  Noksagt!  Per  Peeler  and  Pawr!  The  broker- heartened  shugon!  Hole  affair  is  rotten  muckswinish  porcupig's draff.  Enouch!
—  Is.  that  yu,  Whitehed.^^
—  Have  you  headnoise  now.'^
—  Give  us  your  mespilt  reception,  will  yous.'*
—  Pass  the  fish  for  Christ's  sake!
—  Old  Whitehowth iie  is  speaking  again.  Ope  Eustace  tube! Pity  poor  whiteg^h!  Dear  gone  mummeries,  goby!  Tell  the woyld  I  have  lived  true  thousand  hells.  Pity,  please,  lady,  for poor  O.W.  in  this  profundust  snobbing  I  have  caught.  Nine  dirty years  mine  age,  hairs  hoar,  mummery  failend,  snowdrift  to  my ellpow,  deff  as  Adder.  I  askt  you,  dear  lady,  to  judge  on  my  tree by  our  fruits.  I  gave  you  of  the  tree.  I  gave  two  smells,  three  eats. My  freeandies,  my  celeberrimates:  my  happy  bossoms,  my  all- falling  fruits  of  my  boom.  Pity  poor  Haveth  Childers  Every- whige  with  Mudder ! "^^'^
That  was  Communicator,  a  former  colonel.  A  disincarnated
Spirit,  called  Sebastion,  from  the  Rivera  in  Januero,  (he  is  not alljhear)  may  fernspreak  shortly  with  messuages  from  my  dead- ported.  Let  us  cheer  him  up  a  little  and  make  an  appunkment  for a  future  date.  Hello,  Comrnudicate !  How's  the  buttes.'^  Ever- scepistic!  He  does  not  believe  in  our  psychous  of  the-JB^e^i^b- sence,  neither  miracle  wheat  nor  soulsurgery  of  P.(^.  ^emby. He  has  had  some  indiejestings,  poor  thing,  for  quite  a  little  while, confused  by  his  tonguer  of  baubble.  A  way  with  him !  Poor  Felix Culapert !  Ring  his  mind,  ye  staples,  (bonze !)  in  my  quid  reeke- ries'  ballyheart  and  in  my  krumlin  and  in  aroundisements  and stremmis!  Sacks  eleathury!  Sacks  eleathury!  Bam!  I  deplore  over him  ruely.  MongriefF!  O  Hone !  Guester med  with  the  nobeJities» to  die  bronxitic  in  achershous!  So  enjoying  of  old  thick  whiles, in  haute  white  toff's  hoyt  of  our  formed  reflections,  with  stock of  eisen  all  his  prop,  so  buckely  hosiered  from  the  Royal  Leg, and  his  puertos  mugnum,  he  would  puffout  a  dhymful  bock. And  the  how  he  would  husband  her  that  verikerfully,  his  cigare divane!  (He  would  redden  her  with  his  vestas,  but  'tis  naught.) With  us  his  nephos  and  his  neberls,  mest  incensed  and  befogged by  him  and  his  smoke  thereof.  But  he  shall  have  his  glad  stein  of our  zober  beerbest  in  Oscarshal's  winetavern.  Buen  retirof  The boyce  voyce  is  still  flautish  and  his  mounth  still  wears  that soldier's  scarlet  though  the  flaxafloyeds  are  peppered  with  salse- dine.  It  is  bycause  of  what  he  was  ascend  into  his  prisonce  on account  off.  I  whit  it  wel.  Hence  his  deepraised  words.  Some  day I  may  tell  of  his  second  storey.  Mood !  Mood !  It  looks  like  some- one other  bearing  my  burdens.  I  cannot  let  it.  Kanes  nought.
Well,  yeamen,  I  have  bared  my  whole  past,  I  flatter  myself, on  both  ^ides.  Give  me  even  two  months  by  laxlaw  in  second division  and  my  first  broadcloth  is  business  will  be  to  protest  to Recorder  at  Thing  of  all  Things,  or  court  of  Skivinis,  with  mar- chants  grey,  antient  and  credibel,  Zerobubble  Barrentone,  Jonah Whalley,  Determined  Codde  or  Cucumber  Upright,  my  jurats, jf  it  does  not  occur  again.  O  rhyme  us!  Haar  Faagher,  wild  heart in  Homelan;  Harrod's  be  the  naun.  Mine  kinder  come,  mine wohl  be  won.  There  is  nothing  like  leuther.  O  Shee!  And  nosty
/
mens  in  gladshouses  they  shad  not  peggot  stones.  The  elephant's house  is  his  castle.  I  am  here  to  tell  you,  indeed  to  goodness,  that, allbe  I  discountenanced  beallpersuasions,  in  rinunciniation  of pomps  of  heretofore,  with  a  wax  too  held  in  hand,  I  am  thorgt- fulldt  to  do  dope  me  of  her  miscisprinks  and  by  virchow  of  those filthered  Ovocnas  presently  like  Browne  umbracing  Christina Anya,  after  the  Irishers,  to  convert  me  into  a  selt  (but  first  I  must proxy  babetise  my  old  antenaughties),  when,  as  Sigismond  Stol- terforth,  with  Rabbin  Robroost  for  my  auspicer  and  Leecher Rutty  for  my  lifearst  and  Lorencz  Pattorn  {Ehren  til  viktrae!^^ when  I  will  westerneyes  those  poor  sunuppers  and  outbreighten their  land's  eng.  A  man  should  stump  up  and  I  will  pay  my pretty  decent  trade  price  for  my  glueglue  gluecose,  peebles, were  it  even,  as  this  is,  the  legal  eric  for  infelicitous  conduict  (here incloths  placefined  my  pocketanchoredcheck)  and,  as  a  matter  of fact,  I  undertake  to  discontinue  entyrely  all  practices  and  I  deny wholeswiping  in  toto  at  my  own  request  in  all  stoytness  to  have confermentated  and  confoederated  and  agreed  in  times  prebellic, when  here  were  waders  for  the  trainsfolk,  as  it  is  now  nuggently laid  to  me,  with  a  friend  from  mine,  Mr  Billups,  pulleter,  my quarterbrother,  who  sometimes  he  is  doing  my  locum  for  me on  a  grubstake  and  whom  I  have  cleped  constoutuent,  for  so  it was  felt  by  me,  at  goodbuy  cootcoops  byusucapiture  a  mouth-  "^^ less  niggeress,  Blanchette  Brewster  from  Cherna  Djamja,  Blaw- lawnd-via-Brigstow,  or  to  illsell  my  fourth  part  in  her,  which  al- though allowed  of  in  Deuterogamy  as  in  several  places  of  Scrip- ture (copyright)  and  excluded  books  (they  should  quite  rightly verbanned  be),  would  seem  eggseggs  excessively  haroween  to  i^^'  p my  feelimbs  for  two  punt  scotch,  one  pollard  and  a  crockard  or  '^'S^ three  pipples  on  the  bitch.  Thou,  Prick's  Flame,  Uden  Sulfer, who  strikest  only  on  the  marryd  bokks,  enquick  me  if  so  be  I did  cophetuise  milady's  maid!  In  spect  of  her  beavers  she  is  a womanly  and  sacret.  Such  wear  a  frillick  for  my  comic  strip, Mons  Meg's  Monthly,  comes  out  aich  Fanagan's  Week,  to  bray at  by  clownsillies  in  Donkeybrook  Fair.  It  would  lackin  mackin Hodder's  and  Cocker's  erithmatic.  The  unpurdonable  preemp-
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son  of  all  of  her  of  yourn,  by  Juno  Moneta!  If  she,  irished  Marry- onn  Teheresiann,  has  been  disposed  of  for  her  consideration,  I, Ledwidge  Salvatorious,  am  tradefully  unintiristid.  And  if  she  is still  further  talc  slopping  over  her  cocoa  contours,  I  hwat  mick angars,  am  strongly  of  opinion  why  I  should  not  be.  Inprobable! I  do  not  credit  one  word  of  it  from  such  and  suchess  mistra- versers.  Just  feathers!  Nanenities!  Or  to  have  ochtroyed  to resolde  or  borrough  by  exchange  same  super  melkkaart,  means help;  best  Brixton  high  yellow,  no  outings:  cent  for  cent  on Auction's  Bridge.  'Twere  a  honnibel  crudelty  wert  so  tente- ment  to  their  naktlives  and  scatab  orgias  we  devour  about  in the  mightyevil  roohms  of  encient  cartage.  Utterly  improperable ! Not  for  old  Crusos  or  white  soul  of  gold!  A  pipple  on  the panis,  two  claps  on  the  cansill,  or  three  pock  pocks  cassey knocked  on  the  postern!  Not  for  one  testey  tickey  culprik's coynds  ore  for  all  ecus  in  cunziehowffse!  So  hemp  me  Cash! I  meanit.
My  herrings!  The  surdity  of  it!  Amean  to  say.  Her  bare idears,  it  is  choochoo  chucklesome.  Absurd  bargain,  mum,  will call.  One  line  with!  One  line,  with  with!  Will  ate  everadayde  sau- mone  like  a  boyne  alive  O.  The  tew  cherripickers,  with  their Catheringnettes,  Lizzy  and  Lissy  Mycock,  from  Street  Flesh- shambles,  were  they  moon  at  aube  with  hespermun  and  I  their covin  guardient,  I  would  not  know  to  contact  such  gretched youngsteys  in  my  ways  from  Haddem  or  any  suistersees  or heiresses  of  theirn,  claiming  by,  through,  or  under  them.  Ous  of their  freiung  pfann  into  myne  foyer.  Her  is  one  which  rassembled to  mein  enormally.  The  man  what  shocked  his  shanks  at  contey Carlow's.  He  is  DeucoUion.  Each  habe  goheerd,  uptaking  you are  innersence,  but  we  sen  you  meet  sose  infance.  Deucollion! Odor.  Evilling  chimbes  is  smutsick  rivulverblott  but  thee  hard casted  thereass  pigstenes  upann  Congan's  shootsmen  in  Schot- tenhof,  ekeascent.'*  Igen  Deucollion!  I  liked  his  Gothamm  chic! Stuttertub!  What  a  shrubbery  trick  to  play!  I  will  put  my  oath- head  unner  my  whitepot  for  ransom  of  beeves  and  will  stand me  where  I  stood  mine  in  all  free  heat  between  Pelagios  and  little
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Chistayas  by  Roderick's  our  mostmonolith,  after  my  both  ears- toear  and  brebreeches  buybibles  and,  minhatton,  testify  to  my unclothed  virtue  by  the  longstone  erectheion  of  our  allfirst  man- here.  I  should  tell  you  that  honestly,  on  my  honour  of  a  Near- wicked,  I  always  think  in  a  wordworth's  of  that  primed  favou- rite continental  poet,  Daunty,  Gouty  and  Shopkeeper,  A.  G., whom  the  generality  admoyers  in  this  that  is  and  that  this  is  to come.  Like  as  my  palmer's  past  policy  I  have  had  my  best  mas- ter's lessons,  as  the  public  he  knows,  and  do  you  know,  home- sters, I  honestly  think,  if  I  have  failed  lamentably  by  accident benefits  though  shintoed,  spitefired,  perplagued  and  cram- krieged,  I  am  doing  my  dids  bits  and  have  made  of  my  prudentials good.  I  have  been  told  I  own  stolemines  or  something  of  that sorth  in  the  sooth  of  Spainien.  Hohohoho !  Have  I  said  ogso  how I  abhor  myself  vastly  (truth  to  tell)  and  do  repent  to  my  nether- heart  of  suntry  clothing?  The  amusin  part  is,  I  will  say,  hotel- men,  that  since  I,  over  the  deep  drowner  Athacleeath  to  seek again  Irrlanding,  shamed  in  mind,  with  three  plunges  of  my ruddertail,  yet  not  a  bottlenim,  vanced  imperial  standard  by weaponright  and  platzed  mine  residenze,  taking  bourd  and burgage  under  starrymisty  and  ran  and  operated  my  brixtol  selec- tion here  at  thollstall,  for  mean  straits  male  with  evorage  fimmel, in  commune  soccage  among  strange  and  enemy,  among  these plotlets,  in  Poplinstown,  alore  Fort  Dunlip,  then-on-sea,  hole of  Serbonian  bog,  now  city  of  magnificent  distances,  good- walldabout,  with  talus  and  counterscarp  and  pale  of  palisades, upon  martiell  siegewin,  with  Abbot  Warre  to  blesse,  on  yon slauchterday  of  cleantarriffs,  in  that  year  which  I  have  called myriabellous,  and  overdrave  these  marken  (the  soord  on  Whence- hislaws  was  mine  and  mine  the  prusshing  stock  of  Allbrecht the  Beam),  under  patroonshaap  of  our  good  kingsinnturns, T.  R.  H.  Urban  First  and  Champaign  Chollyman  and  Hungry the  Loaved  and  Hangry  the  Hathed,  here  where  my  tenenure  of office  and  my  toils  of  domestication  first  began,  with  weight  of woman  my  skat  and  skuld  but  Flukie  of  the  Ravens  as  my  sure piloter,  famine  with  Englisch  sweat  and  oppedemics,  the  two-
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toothed  dragon  worms  with  allsort  serpents,  has  compolitely seceded  from  this  landleague  of  many  nations  and  open  and notorious  naughty  livers  are  found  not  on  our  rolls.  This  seat  of our  city  it  is  of  all  sides  pleasant,  comfortable  and  wholesome. If  you  would  traverse  hills,  they  are  not  far  off.  If  champain  land, it  lieth  of  all  parts.  If  you  would  be  delited  with  fresh  water,  the famous  river,  called  of  Ptolemy  the  Libnia  Labia,  runneth  fast by.  If  you  will  take  the  view  of  the  sea,  it  is  at  hand.  Give  heed!
—  Do  Drumcollogher  whatever  you  do!
—  Visitei  Drumcollogher-la- Belief
—  Be  suke  and  sie  so  ersed  Drumcollogher/
—  J^edi  Drumcollogher  e  poi  Moonis,
—  Things  are  not  as  they  were.  Let  me  briefly  survey.  Pro  clam a  shun!  Pip!  Peep!  Pipitch!  Ubipop  jay  piped,  ibipep  goes  the whistle.  Here  Tyeburn  throttled,  massed  murmars  march:  where the  bus  stops  there  shop  I:  here  which  ye  see,  yea  reste.  On  me, your  sleeping  giant.  Estoesto!  Estote  sunto!  From  the  hold  of my  capt  in  altitude  till  the  mortification  that's  my  fate.  The  end of  aldest  mosest  ist  the  beginning  of  all  thisorder  so  the  last  of their  hansbailis  shall  the  first  in  our  sheriffsby.  New  highs  for all!  Redu  Negru  may  be  black  in  tawn  but  under  them  lintels are  staying  my  horneymen  meet  each  his  mansiemagd.  For  peers and  gints,  quaysirs  and  galleyliers,  fresk  letties  from  the  say  and stale  headygabblers,  gaingangers  and  dudder  wagoners,  pullars off  societies  and  pushers  on  rothmere's  homes.  Obeyance  from the  townsmen  spills  felixity  by  the  toun.  Our  bourse  and  politico- ecomedy  are  in  safe  with  good  Jock  Shepherd,  our  lives  are  on sure  in  sorting  with  Jonathans,  wild  and  great.  Been  so  free! Thank  you,  besters!  Hattentats  have  mindered.  Blaublaze  devil- bobs  have  gone  from  the  mode  and  hairtrigger  nicks  are  quite out  of  time  now.  Thuggeries  are  reere  as  glovars'  metins,  lepers lack,  ignerants  show  beneath  suspicion  like  the  bitterhalves  of esculapuloids.  In  midday's  mallsight  let  Miledd  discurverself. Me  ludd  in  her  hide  park  seek  Minuinette.  All  is  waldy  bonums. Blownose  aerios  we  luft  to  you !  Firebugs,  good  blazes !  Lubbers, kepp  your  poudies  drier!  Seamen,  we  segn  your  skivs  and  wives!
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Seven  ills  so  barely  as  centripunts  havd  I  habt,  seaventy  seavens for  circumference  inkeptive  are  your  hill  prospect.  Braid  Black- fordrock,  the  Calton,  the  Liberton,  Craig  and  Lockhart's,  A. Costofino,  R.  Thursitt.  The  chort  of  Nicholas  Within  was  my guide  and  I  raised  a  dome  on  the  wherewithouts  of  Michan:  by awful  tors  my  wellworth  building  sprang  sky  spearing  spires, cloud  cupoled  campaniles:  further  this.  By  fineounce  and  im- posts I  got  and  grew  and  by  grossscruple  gat  I  grown  outreaches- ly:  murage  and  lestage  were  my  mains  for  Ouerlord's  tithing and  my  drains  for  render  and  prender  the  doles  and  the  tribute: I  was  merely  out  of  my  mint  with  all  the  percussors  on  my braincap  till  I  struck  for  myself  and  muched  morely  by  token:  to Sirrherr  of  Gambleden  ruddy  money,  to  Madame  of  Pitymount I  loue  yous.  Paybads  floriners  moved  in  hugheknots  against  us  and I  matt  them,  pepst  to  papst,  barthelemew:  milreys  (mark!)  on- fell,  and  (Luc!)  I  arose  Daniel  in  Leonden.  Bulafests  onvied  me, Corkcuttas  graatched.  Atabey!  I  braved  Brien  Berueme  to  berow him  against  the  Loughlins,  all  her  tolkies  shraking:  Fugabollags ! Lusqu'au  bout!  If  they  had  ire  back  of  eyeball  they  got  danage on  front  tooth:  theres  were  revelries  at  ridottos,  here  was  rivalry in  redoubt:  I  wegschicked  Duke  Wellinghof  to  reshockle  Roy Shackleton:  Walhalloo,  Walhalloo,  Walhalloo,  mourn  in  plein! Under  law's  marshall  and  warschouw  did  I  thole  till  lead's plumbate,  ping  on  pang,  reliefed  me.  I  made  praharfeast  upon acorpolous  and  fastbroke  down  in  Neederthorpe.  I  let  faireviews in  on  slobodens  but  ranked  rothgardes  round  wrathmindsers:  I bathandbaddend  on  mendicity  and  I  corocured  off  the  unoculated. Who  can  tell  their  tale  whom  I  filled  ad  liptum  on  the  plain  of Soulsbury.^  With  three  hunkered  peepers  and  twa  and  twas! For  sleeking  beauties  I  spinned  their  nightinveils,  to  slumbred beast  I  tummed  the  thief  air.  Round  the  musky  moved  a  mur- mel  but  mewses  whinninaird  and  belluas  zoomed:  tendulcis tunes  like  water  parted  fluted  up  from  the  westinders  while  from gorges  in  the  east  came  the  strife  of  ourangoontangues.  All  in my  thicville  Escuterre  ofen  was  thorough  fear  but  in  the  meck- ling  of  my  burgh  Belvaros  was  the  site  forbed:  tuberclerosies  I
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reized  spudfully  from  the  murphyplantz  Hawkinsonia  and  berri- berries  from  the  pletoras  of  the  Irish  shou.  I  heard  my  liberti- lands  making  free  through  their  curraghcoombs,  my  trueblues hurusalaming  before  Wailingtone*s  Walh  I  richmounded  the rainelag  in  my  bathtub  of  roundwood  and  conveyed  it  with cheers  and  cables,  roaring  mighty  shouts,  through  my  longer- tubes  of  elm:  out  of  fundness  for  the  outozone  I  carried  them amd  curried  them  in  my  Putzemdown  cars  to  my  Kommeandine hotels:  I  made  sprouts  fontaneously  from  Philuppe  Sobriety  in the  coupe  that's  cheyned  for  noon  inebriates:  when  they  weaned weary  of  that  bibbing  I  made  infusion  more  infused:  sowerpacers of  the  vinegarth,  obtemperate  unto  me!  When  you  think  me  in my  coppeecuffs  look  in  ware  would  you  meckamockame,  as  you pay  in  caabman's  sheltar  tot  the  ites  like  you  corss  the  tees. Wherefore  watch  ye  well!  For,  while  I  oplooked  the  first  of Janus's  straight,  I  downsaw  the  last  of  Christmas  steps:  syndic podestril  and  on  the  rates,  I  for  indigent  and  intendente:  in Forum  Foster  I  demosthrenated  my  folksfiendship,  enmy  pupuls felt  my  burk  was  no  worse  than  their  brite:  Sapphrageta  and Consciencia  were  undecidedly  attached  to  me  but  the  maugher machrees  and  the  auntieparthenopes  my  schwalby  words  with litted  spongelets  set  their  soakye  pokeys  and  botchbons  afume: Fletcher-Flemmings,  elisaboth,  how  interquackeringly  they  ro- gated  me,  their  golden  one,  I  inhesitant  made  replique:  Mesde- memdes  to  leursieuresponsor:  and  who  in  hillsaide,  don't  you let  flyfire  till  you  see  their  whites  of  the  bunkers'  eyes !  Mr  An- swers: Brimgem  young,  bringem  young,  bringem  young!:  in my  bethel  of  Solyman's  I  accouched  their  rotundaties  and  I  turn- keyed  most  insultantly  over  raped  lutetias  in  the  lock:  I  gave  bax of  biscums  to  the  jacobeaters  and  pottage  bakes  to  the  esausted; I  dehlivered  them  with  freakandesias  by  the  constant  droppings from  my  smalls  instalmonths  while  I  titfortotalled  up  their farinadays  for  them  on  my  slataper's  slate  with  my  chandner's chauk:  I  jaunted  on  my  jingelbrett  rapt  in  neckloth  and  sashes, and  I  beggered  about  the  amnibushes  like  belly  in  a  bowle.  In the  humanity  of  my  heart  I  sent  out  heyweywomen  to  refresh
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the  ballwearied  and  then,  doubling  megalopolitan  poleetness, my  great  great  greatest  of  these  charities,  devaleurised  the  base fellows  for  the  curtailment  of  their  lower  man:  with  a  slog  to square  leg  I  sent  my  boundary  to  Botany  Bay  and  I  ran  up  a score  and  four  of  mes  while  the  Yanks  were  buckling  the  Em- pire: I  have  been  reciping  om  omominous  letters  and  widely- signed  petitions  full  of  pieces  of  pottery  about  my  monumental- ness  as  a  thingabolls  and  I  have  been  inchanting  causeries  to  the feshest  cheoilboys  so  that  they  are  allcalling  on  me  for  the  song of  a  birtch:  the  more  secretely  bi  built,  the  more  openly  palas- tered.  Attent!  Couch  hear!  I  have  becket  my  vonderbilt  hutch in  sunsmidnought  and  at  morningrise  was  encampassed  of mushroofs.  Rest  and  bethinkful,  with  licence,  thanks.  I  con- sidered the  lilies  on  the  veldt  and  unto  Balkis  did  I  disclothe mine  glory.  And  this.  This  missy,  my  taughters,  and  these  man, my  son,  from  my  fief  of  the  villa  of  the  Ostmanorum  to  Thor- stan's,  recte  Thomars  Sraid,  and  from  Huggin  Pleaze  to  William Inglis  his  house,  that  man  de  Loundres,  in  all  their  barony  of Saltus,  bonders  and  foeburghers,  helots  and  zelots,  strutting  oges and  swaggering  macks,  the  darsy  jeamses,  the  drury  joneses, redmaids  and  bleucotts,  in  hommage  all  and  felony,  all  who  have received  tickets,  fair  home  overcrowded,  tidy  but  very  little furniture,  respectable,  whole  family  attends  daily  mass  and  is dead  sick  of  bread  and  butter,  sometime  in  the  militia,  mentally strained  from  reading  work  on  German  physics,  shares  closet with  eight  other  dwellings,  more  than  respectable,  getting  com- fortable parish  relief,  wageearner  freshly  shaven  from  prison, highly  respectable,  planning  new  departure  in  Mountgomery cyclefinishing,  eldest  son  will  not  serve  but  peruses  Big-man-up- in-the-Sky  scraps,  anoopanadoon  lacking  backway,  quasi  respec- table, pays  ragman  in  bones  for  faded  windowcurtains,  staircase continually  lit  up  with  guests,  particularly  respectable,  house lost  in  dirt  and  blocked  with  refuse,  getting  on  like  Roe's  dis- tillery on  fire,  slovenly  wife  active  with  the  jug,  in  business  for himself,  has  a  tenth  illegitimate  coming,  partly  respectable, following  correspondence  courses,  chucked  work  over  row,  both
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cheeks  kissed  at  levee  by  late  marquess  of  Zetland,  sharing  closet which  is  profusely  written  over  with  eleven  other  subscribers, once  respectable,  open  hallway  pungent  of  Baltic  dishes,  bangs kept  woman's  head  against  wall  thereby  disturbing  neighbours, private  chapel  occupies  return  landing,  removal  every  other quarter  day,  case  one  of  peculiar  hopelessness,  most  respectable, nightsoil  has  to  be  removed  through  snoring  household,  eccen- tric naval  officer  not  quite  steady  enjoys  weekly  churchwarden and  laugh  while  reading  foreign  pictorials  on  clumpstump  before door,  known  as  the  trap,  widow  rheumatic  and  chars,  haunted, condemned  and  execrated,  of  dubious  respectability,  tools  too costly  pledged  or  uninsured,  reformed  philanthropist  whenever feasible  takes  advantage  of  unfortunates  against  dilapidating ashpits,  serious  student  is  eating  his  last  dinners,  floor  dangerous for  unaccompanied  old  clergymen,  thoroughly  respectable,  many uncut  pious  books  in  evidence,  nearest  watertap  two  hundred yards'  run  away,  fowl  and  bottled  gooseberry  frequently  on table,  man  has  not  had  boots  off  for  twelve  months,  infant  being taught  to  hammer  flat  piano,  outwardly  respectable,  sometimes hears  from  titled  connection,  one  foot  of  dust  between  banister and  cracked  wall,  wife  cleans  stools,  eminently  respectable,  otta- wark  and  regular  loafer,  should  be  operated  would  she  consent, deplorable  rent  in  roof,  claret  cellar  cobwebbed  since  the  ponti- ficate of  Leo,  wears  drill  trousers  and  collects  rare  buddhas, underages  very  treacly  and  verminous  have  to  be  separated,  sits up  with  fevercases  for  one  and  threepence,  owns  two  terraces (back  to  back  breeze),  respectable  in  every  way,  harmless  im- becile supposingly  weakminded,  a  sausage  every  Sunday,  has  a stafl"  of  eight  servants,  outlook  marred  by  ne'er-do-wells  using the  laneway,  lieabed  sons  go  out  with  sisters  immediately  after dark,  has  never  seen  the  sea,  travels  always  with  her  eleven trunks  of  clothing,  starving  cat  left  in  disgust,  the  pink  of  re- spectability, resting  after  colonial  service,  labours  at  plant,  the despair  of  his  many  benefactresses,  calories  exclusively  from Rowntrees  and  dumplings,  one  bar  of  sunlight  does  them  all january  and  half  february,  the  V.  de  V's  (animal  diet)  live  in  five-
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storied  semidetached  but  rarely  pay  tradesmen,  went  security for  friend  who  absconded,  shares  same  closet  with  fourteen  simi- lar cottages  and  an  illfamed  lodginghouse,  more  respectable  than some,  teawidow  pension  but  held  to  purchase,  inherited  silk  hat from  father-in-law,  head  of  domestic  economy  never  mentioned, queery  how  they  live,  reputed  to  procure,  last  four  occupants carried  out,  mental  companionship  with  mates  only,  respecta- bility unsuccessfully  aimed  at,  copious  holes  emitting  mice,  de- coration from  Uganda  chief  in  locked  ivory  casket,  grandmother has  advanced  alcoholic  amblyopia,  the  terror  of  Goodmen's Field,  and  respected  and  respectable,  as  respectable  as  respec- table can  respectably  be,  though  their  orable  amission  were  the herrors  I  could  have  expected,  all,  let  them  all  come,  they  are  my villeins,  with  chartularies  I  have  talledged  them.  Wherfor  I  will  and firmly  command,  as  I  willed  and  firmly  commanded,  upon  my royal  word  and  cause  the  great  seal  now  to  be  affixed,  that  from the  farthest  of  the  farther  of  their  fathers  to  their  children's  chil- dren's children  they  do  inhabit  it  and  hold  it  for  me  unencum- bered and  my  heirs,  firmly  and  quietly,  amply  and  honestly, and  with  all  the  liberties  and  free  customs  which  the  men  of  Tol- bris,  a  city  of  Tolbris,  have  at  Tolbris,  in  the  county  of  their  city and  through  whole  my  land.  Hereto  my  vouchers,  knive  and snuffbuchs.  Fee  for  farm.  Enwreak  us  wrecks.  2:^5/ rsC^,^  Ssg.^
Struggling  forlongs  I  have  livramentoed,  milles  on  milles  of mancipelles.  Lo,  I  have  looked  upon  my  pumpadears  in  their easancies  and  my  drummers  have  tattled  tall  tales  of  me  in  the  land: in  morgenattics  litt  I  hope,  in  seralcellars  louched  I  bleakmealers: on  my  siege  of  my  mighty  I  was  parciful  of  my  subject  but  in  street wauks  that  are  darkest  I  debelledem  superb:  I  deemed  the  drugtails in  my  pettycourts  and  domstered  dustyfeets  in  my  husinclose:  at Guy's  they  were  swathed,  at  Foulke's  slashed,  the  game  for  a Gomez,  the  loyfor  a  lynch:if  I  was  magmonimoss  as  staidylavgiver I  revolucanized  by  my  eructions:  the  hye  and  bye  wayseeds  I scattered  em,  in  my  graben  fields  sew  sowage  I  gathered  em:  in Sheridan's  Circle  my  wits  repose,  in  black  pitts  of  the  pestered Lenfant  he  is  dummed.  (Hearts  of  Oak,  may  ye  root  to  piece!
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Rechabites  obstain!  Clayed  sheets,  pineshrouded,  wake  not,  walk not!  Sigh  lento,  Morgh!)  Quo  warranto  has  his  greats  my  soliven and  puissant  lord  V.  king  regards  for  me  and  he  has  given  to  me my  necknamesh  (flister  it!)  which  is  second  fiddler  to  nomen. These  be  my  genteelician  arms.  At  the  crest,  two  young  frish, etoiled,  flappant,  devoiled  of  their  habiliments,  vested  sable,  with- drewers  argent.  For  the  boss  a  coleopter,  pondant,  partifesswise, blazoned  sinister,  at  the  slough,  proper.  In  the  lower  field  a  terce of  lanciers,  shaking  unsheathed  shafts,  their  arms  crossed  in  sal- tire,  embusked,  sinople.  Motto,  in  letters  portent:  Hery  Crass Evohodie,  Idle  were  it,  repassing  from  elserground  to  the  elder disposition,  to  inquire  whether  I,  draggedasunder,  be  the  forced generation  of  group  marriage,  holocryptogam,  of  my  essenes,  or carried  of  cloud  from  land  of  locust,  in  ouzel  galley  borne,  I, huddled  til  summone  be  the  massproduct  of  teamwork,  three surtouts  wripped  up  in  itchother's,  two  twin  pritticoaxes  lived  as one,  troubled  in  trine  or  dubildin  too,  for  abram  nude  be  I  or roberoyed  with  the  faineans,  of  Feejeean  grafted  ape  on  merfish, surrounded  by  obscurity,  by  my  virtus  of  creation  and  by  boon of  promise,  by  my  natural  born  freeman's  journeymanright  and my  otherchurch's  inher  light,  in  so  and  such  a  manner  as  me  it so  besitteth,  most  surely  I  pretend  and  reclam  to  opt  for  simul- taneous. Till  daybowbreak  and  showshadows  flee.  Thus  be  hek. Verily!  Verily!  Time,  place!
—  What  is  your  numb.'^  Bun!
—  Who  gave  you  t;hat  iiumb?  Poo!
—  Have  you  put  in  all  your  sparepennies.'^  Fm  listening.  Sree!
—  Keep  clear  of  propennies!  Fore!
—  Mr  Televox,  Mrs  Taubiestimm  and  invisible  friends!  I  may- may  mean  to  say.  Annoyin  part  of  it  was,  had  faithful  Fulvia, following  the  wiening  courses  of  this  world,  turned  her  back  on her  ways  to  gon  on  uphills  upon  search  of  louvers,  brunette  men  of Earalend,  Chief  North  Paw  and  Chief  Goes  in  Black  Water  and Chief  Brown  Pool  and  Chief  Night  Cloud  by  the  Deeps,  or  again had  Fluvia,  amber  whitch  she  was,  left  her  chivily  crookcrook crocus  bed  at  the  bare  suggestions  of  some  prolling  bywaymen
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from  Moabit  who  could  have  abused  of  her,  the  foxrogues,  there might  accrue  advantage  to  ask  wher  in  pellmell  her  deceivers sinned.  Yet  know  it  was  vastly  otherwise  which  I  have  heard  it by  mmummy  goods  waif,  as  I,  chiefly  endmost  hartyly  aver,  for Fulvia  Fluvia,  iddle  woman  to  the  plusneeborn,  ever  did  ensue tillstead  the  things  that  pertained  unto  fairnesse,  this  wharom I  am  fawned  on,  that  which  was  loost.  Even  so,  for  I  waged love  on  her;  and  spoiled  her  undines.  And  she  wept:  O  my lors!
—  Till  we  meet !
—  Ere  we  part!
—  Tollollall!
—  This  time  a  hundred  years!
—  But  I  was  firm  with  her.  And  I  did  take  the  reached  of  my delights,  my  jealousy,  ymashkt,  beyashmakt,  earswathed,  snout- snooded,  and  did  raft  her  flumingworthily  and  did  leftlead  her overland  the  pace,  from  lacksleap  up  to  liffsloup,  tiding  down,  as portreeve  should,  whimpering  by  Kevin's  creek  and  Hurdlesford and  Gardener's  Mall,  long  rivierside  drive,  embankment  large, to  Ringsend  Flott  and  Ferry,  where  she  began  to  bump  a  little bit,  my  dart  to  throw:  and  there,  by  wavebrink,  on  strond  of south,  with  mace  to  masthigh,  taillas  Cowhowling,  quailless Highjakes,  did  I  upreized  my  magicianer's  puntpole,  the  tridont sired  a  tritan  stock,  farruler,  and  I  bade  those  polyfizzyboisterous seas  to  retire  with  hemselves  from  os  (rookwards,  thou  seasea stamoror!)  and  I  abridged  with  domfine  norsemanship  till  I  had done  abate  her  maidan  race,  my  baresark  bride,  and  knew  her fleshly  when  with  all  my  bawdy  did  I  her  whorship,  min bryllupswibe:  Heaven,  he  hallthundered;  Heydays,  he  flung blissforhers.  And  I  cast  my  tenspan  joys  on  her,  arsched  over- tupped,  from  bank  of  call  to  echobank,  by  dint  of  strongbow (Galata!  Galata!)  so  streng  we  were  in  one,  malestream  in shegulf:  and  to  rings tresse  I  thumbed  her  with  iern  of  Erin and  tradesmanmarked  her  lieflang  mine  for  all  and  singular,  iday, igone,  imorgans,  and  for  ervigheds:  base  your  peak,  you!  you, strike  your  flag!:  (what  screech  of  shippings!  what  low  of  dampf-
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bulls!):  from  Livland,  hoks  zivios,  from  Lettland,  skall  vives! With  Impress  of  Asias  and  Queen  Columbia  for  her  pairanymphs and  the  singing  sands  for  herbrides'  music:  goosegaze  annoynted uns,  canailles  canzoned  and  me  to  she  her  shyblumes  lifted:  and I  pudd  a  name  and  wedlock  boltoned  round  her  the  which  to carry  till  her  grave,  my  durdin  dearly,  Appia  Lippia  Pluviabilla, whiles  I  herr  lifer  amstell  and  been:  I  chained  her  chastemate  to grippe  fiuming  snugglers,  her  chambrett  I  bestank  so  to  spunish furiosos:  I  was  her  hochsized,  her  cleavunto,  her  everest,  she  was my  annie,  my  lauralad,  my  pisoved:  who  cut  her  ribbons  when nought  my  prowes?  who  expoused  that  havenliness  to  beacha- lured  ankerrides  when  not  I,  freipforter?:  in  trinity  huts  they met  my  dame,  pick  of  their  poke  for  me:  when  I  foregather  'twas my  sumbad,  if  I  farseeker  itch  my  list:  had  I  not  workit  in  my cattagut  with  dogshunds'  crotts  to  clene  and  had  I  not  gifted of  my  coataways,  constantonoble's  aim:  and,  fortiffed  by  my right  as  man  of  capitol,  I  did  umgyrdle  her  about,  my  vermin- celly  vinagerette,  with  all  loving  kindness  as  far  as  in  man's might  it  lay  and  enfranchised  her  to  liberties  of  fringes:  and  I gave  until  my  lilienyounger  turkeythighs  soft  goods  and  hard- i^are  (catalogue,  passim)  and  ladderproof  hosiery  lines  (see stockinger's  raiment),  cocquette  coiffs  (see  Agnes'  hats)  and peningsworths  of  the  best  taste  of  knaggs  of  jets  and  silvered waterroses  and  geegaws  of  my  pretty  novelties  and  wispywaspy frocks  of  redferns  and  lauralworths,  trancepearances  such  as women  cattle  bare  and  peltries  piled,  the  peak  of  Pim's  and Slyne's  and  Sparrow's,  loomends  day  lumineused  luxories  on looks,  La  Primamhcy  Pyrrha  Pyrrhine^  Or  de  Reinebeau^  Sourire d'Hiver  and  a  crinoline,  wide  a  shire,  and  pattens  for  her  trilibies that  know  she  might  the  tortuours  of  the  boots  and  bedes  of wampun  with  to  toy  and  a  murcery  glaze  of  shard  to  mirrow,  for all  daintiness  by  me  and  theetime,  the  cupandnaggin  hour:  and I  wound  around  my  swanchen's  neckplace  a  school  of  shells  of moyles  marine  to  swing  their  saysangs  in  her  silents:  and,  upping her  at  king's  count,  her  aldritch  cry  oloss  unheading,  what though  exceeding  bitter,  I  pierced  her  beak  with  order  of  the
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Danabrog  (Cunnig's  great!  Soli  leve!  Soil  level):  with  mare*s greese  cressets  at  Leonard's  and  Dunphy's  and  Madonna  Ian- thorns  before  quintacasas  and  tallonkindles  spearhead  syngeing nickendbookers  and  mhutton  lightburnes  dipdippingdownes  in blackholes,  the  tapers  of  the  topers  and  his  buntingpall  at  hoist; for  days  there  was  no  night  for  nights  were  days  and  our  folk  had rest  from  Blackheathen  and  the  pagans  from  the  prince  of  pacis: what  was  trembling  sod  quaked  no  more,  what  were  frozen  loins were  stirred  and  lived:  gone  the  septuor,  dark  deadly  dismal  dole- ful desolate  dreadful  desperate,  no  more  the  tolvmaans,  bloody gloomy  hideous  fearful  furious  alarming  terrible  mournful sorrowful  frightful  appalling:  peace,  perfect  peace:  and  I  hung  up at  Yule  my  duindleeng  lunas,  helphelped  of  Kettil  Flashnose,  for the  souperhore  of  my  frigid  one,  coloumha  mea^  frimosa  mea^  in "Wastewindy  tarred  strate  and  Elgin's  marble  halles  lamping limp  from  black  to  block,  through  all  Livania's  volted  ampire, from  anodes  to  cathodes  and  from  the  topazolites  of  Mourne, Wykinloeflare,  by  Arklow's  sapphire  siomen's  lure  and  Wexter- ford's  hook  and  crook  lights  to  the  polders  of  Hy  Kinsella: avenyue  ceen  my  peurls  ahumming,  the  crown  to  my  estuarine munipicence?:  three  firths  of  the  sea  I  swept  with  draughtness and  all  ennempties  I  bottled  em  up  in  bellomport:  when  I  stab- marooned  jack  and  maturin  I  was  a  bad  boy's  bogey  but  it  was when  I  went  on  to  sankt  piotersbarq  that  they  gave  my  devil  his dues:  what  is  seizer  can  hack  in  the  old  wold  a  sawyer  may  hew in  the  green:  on  the  island  of  Breasil  the  wildth  of  me  perished and  I  took  my  plowshure  sadly,  feeling  pity  for  me  sored:  where bold  O'Connee  weds  on  Alta  Mahar,  the  tawny  sprawling  beside that  silver  burn,  I  sate  me  and  settled  with  the  little  crither  of  my hearth:  her  intellects  I  charmed  with  I  calle  them  utile  thoughts, her  turlyhyde  I  plumped  with  potatums  for  amiens  pease  in plenty:  my  biblous  beadells  shewed  her  triumphs  of  craftygild pageantries,  loftust  Adam,  duffed  our  cousterclother,  Conn  and Owel  with  cortoppled  baskib.  Sire  Noeh  Guinnass,  exposant  of his  bargeness  and  Lord  Joe  Starr  to  hump  the  body  of  the  camell: I  screwed  the  Emperor  down  with  ninepins  gaelic  with  sixpenny-
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hapennies  for  his  hanger  on:  my  worthies  were  hissed  and  trissed from  Joshua  to  Godfrey  but  my  processus  prophetarum  they  would have  plauded  to  perpetuation.  Morah  book  to  besure,  see  press.
—  He's  not  all  buum  and  bully.
—  But  his  members  handly  food  him.
—  Steving's  grain  for*s  greet  collegtium.
—  The  S.  S.  Paudraic's  in  the  harbour.
—  And  after  these  things,  I  fed  her,  my  carlen,  my  barelean  lin- steer,  upon  spiceries  for  her  garbage  breath,  italics  of  knobby lauch  and  the  rich  morsel  of  the  marrolebone  and  shains  of  gar- leeks  and  swinespepper  and  gothakrauts  and  pinkee  dillisks, primes  of  meshallehs  and  subleties  in  jellywork,  come  the  feast of  Saint  Pancreas,  and  shortcake  nutrients  for  Paas  and  Pingster's pudding,  bready  and  nutalled  and  potted  fleshmeats  from  store dampkookin,  and  the  drugs  of  Kafa  and  Jelupa  and  shallots  out of  Ascalon,  feeding  her  food  convenient  herfor,  to  pass  them  into earth:  and  to  my  saffronbreathing  mongoloid,  the  skinsyg,  I  gave Biorwik's  powlver  and  Uliv's  oils,  unguents  of  cuticure,  for  the swarthy  searchall's  face  on  her,  with  handewers  and  groinscrubbers and  a  carrycam  to  teaze  her  tussy  out,  the  brown  but  combly, a  mopsa's  broom  to  duist  her  sate,  and  clubmoss  and  wolves- foot  for  her  more  moister  wards  (amazing  efficiencies!):  and,  my shopsoiled  doveling,  when  weeks  of  kindness  kinly  civicised,  in our  saloons  esquirial,  with  fineglas  bowbays,  draped  embrasures and  giltedged  librariums,  I  did  devise  my  telltale  sports  at  even- bread  to  wring  her  withers  limberly,  wheatears,  slapbang, drapier-cut-dean,  bray,  nap,  spinado  and  ranter-go-round:  we had  our  lewd  mayers  and  our  lairdie  meiresses  kiotowing  and smuling  fullface  on  us  out  of  their  framous  latenesses,  oilclothed over  for  cohabitation  and  allpointed  by  Hind:  Tamlane  the  Cus- sacke.  Dirk  Wettingstone,  Pieter  Stuyvesant,  Outlawrie  O'Niell, Mrs  Currens,  Mrs  Reyson-Figgis,  Mrs  Dattery,  and  Mrs  Pruny- Quetch:  in  hym  we  trust,  footwash  and  sects  principles,  apply  to overseer,  Amos  five  six:  she  had  dabblingtime  for  exhibiting  her grace  of  aljambras  and  duncingk  the  bloodanoobs  in  her  vaux- halls  while  I,  dizzed  and  dazed  by  the  lumpty  thumpty  of  our
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interloopings,  fell  clocksure  off  my  ballast:  in  our  windtor  palast it  vampared  for  elenders,  we  lubded  Sur  Gudd  for  the  sleep  and the  ghoasts:  she  chauffed  her  fuesies  at  my  Wigan's  jewels  while she  skalded  her  mermeries  on  my  Snorryson's  Sagos:  in  pay- cook's  thronsaale  she  domineered,  lecking  icies  off  the  dormer panes  all  admired  her  in  camises:  on  Rideau  Row  Duanna  dwells, you  merk  well  what  you  see:  let  wellth  were  I  our  pantocreator would  theirs  be  tights  for  the  gods:  in  littleritt  reddinghats  and cindery  yellows  and  tinsel  and  glitter  and  bibs  under  hoods:  I made  nusance  of  many  well  pressed  champdamors  and  peddled freely  in  the  scrub:  I  foredreamed  for  thee  and  more  than  full- maked:  I  prevened  for  thee  in  the  haunts  that  joybelled  frail  light- a-leaves  for  sturdy  traemen:  pelves  ad  homhres  sumus:  I  said  to the  shiftless  prostitute;  let  me  be  your  fodder;  and  to  rodies  and prater  brothers;  Chau,  Camerade!:  evangel  of  good  tidings,  om- nient  as  the  Healer's  word,  for  the  lost,  loathsome  and  whomso- ever will:  who,  in  regimentation  through  liberal  donation  in  co- ordination for  organisation  of  their  installation  and  augmenta- tion plus  some  annexation  and  amplification  without  precipita- tion towards  the  culmination  in  latification  of  what  was  formerly their  utter  privation,  competence,  cheerfulness,  usefulness  and the  meed,  shall,  in  their  second  adams,  all  be  made  alive:  my  tow tugs  steered  down  canal  grand,  my  lighters  lay  longside  on Regalia  Water.  And  I  built  in  Urhs  in  Rure^  for  minne  elskede, my  shiny  brows,  under  astrolobe  from  my  upservatory,  an  erd- closet  with  showne  ejector  wherewithin  to  be  squatquit  in  most covenience  from  her  sabbath  needs,  when  open  noise  should stilled  be:  did  not  I  festfix  with  mortarboard  my  unniversiries, wholly  rational  and  gottalike,  sophister  agen  sorefister,  life  sizars all?:  was  I  not  rosetted  on  two  Stellas  of  little  egypt?  had  not  I rockcut  readers,  hieros,  gregos  and  democriticos?:  triscastellated, bimedallised:  and  by  my  sevendialled  changing  charties  Hiberns- ka  Ulitzas  made  not  I  to  pass  through  twelve  Threadneedles  and Newgade  and  Vicus  Veneris  to  cooinsight?:  my  camels'  walk, kolossa  kolossa!  no  porte  sublimer  benared  my  ghates:  Oi  polled ye  many  but  my  fews  were  chousen  (Voter,  voter,  early  voter,
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he  was  never  too  oft  for  old  Sarum):  terminals  four  my  staties were,  the  Geenar,  the  Greasouwea,  the  Debwickweck,  the  Mif- greawis.  And  I  sept  up  twinminsters,  the  pro  and  the  con,  mv stavekirks  wove  so  norcely  of  peeled  wands  and  attachatouchy floodmud,  now  all  loosebrick  and  stonefest,  freely  masoned, arked  for  covennanters  and  shinners'  rifuge:  descent  from  above on  us,  Hagiasofia  of  Astralia,  our  orisons  thy  nave  and  absedes, our  aeone  tone  aeones  thy  studvaast  vault;  Hams,  circuitise! Shemites,  retrace!:  horns,  hush!  no  barkeys!  hereround  is't holied!:  all  truanttrulls  made  I  comepull,  all  rubbeling  gnomes I  pushed,  gowgow:  Cassels,  Redmond,  Gandon,  Deane,  Shep- perd,  Smyth,  Neville,  Heaton,  Stoney,  Foley,  Farrell,  Vnost  with Thorneycroft  and  Hogan  too:  sprids  serve  me!  gobelins  guard!: tect  my  tileries  (O  tribes!  O  gentes!),  keep  my  keep,  the  peace of  my  four  great  ways:  oathiose  infernals  to  Booth  Salvation, arcane  celestials  to  Sweatenburgs  Welhell!  My  seven  wynds  I trailed  to  maze  her  and  ever  a  wynd  had  saving  closes  and  all  these closes  flagged  with  the  gust,  hoops  for  her,  hatsoff  for  him  and ruffles  through  Neeblow's  garding:  and  that  was  why  Blabus  was razing  his  wall  and  eltering  the  suzannes  of  his  nighboors:  and thirdly,  for  ewigs,  I  did  reform  and  restore  for  my  smuggy piggiesknees,  my  sweet  coolocked,  my  auburn  coyquailing  one, her  paddypalace  on  the  crossknoll  with  massgo  bell,  sixton clashcloshant,  duominous  and  muezzatinties  to  commind  the  fit- ful: doom  adimdim  adoom  adimadim:  and  the  oragel  of  the  lauds to  tellforth's  glory:  and  added  thereunto  a  shallow  laver  to  slub out  her  hellfire  and  posied  windows  for  her  oriel  house:  gospelly pewmillieu,  christous  pewmillieu:  zackbutts  babazounded,  ollguns tararulled:  and  she  sass  her  nach,  chillybombom  and  forty  bon- nets, upon  the  altarstane.  May  all  have  mossyhonours !
—  Hoke!
—  Hoke!
—  Hoke!
—  Hoke!
—  And  wholehail,snaefrell,dreardrizzle  or  sleetshowers  of  bless- ing, where  it  froze  in  chalix  eller  swum  in  the  vestry,  with  fairskin
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book  and  ruling  rod,  vein  of  my  vergin  page,  her  chastener  ever I  did  learn  my  little  ana  countrymouse  in  alphabeater  cameltem- per,  from  alderbirk  to  tannenyou,  with  myraw  rattan  atter  dun- drum;  ooah,  oyir,  oyir,  oyir:  and  I  did  spread  before  my  Livvy, where  Lord  street  lolls  and  ladies  linger  and  Cammomile  Pass cuts  Primrose  Rise  and  Coney  Bend  bounds  Mulbreys  Island  but never  a  blid  had  bledded  or  bludded  since  long  agore  when  the whole  blighty  acre  was  bladey  well  pessovered,  my  selvage  mats of  lecheworked  lawn,  my  carpet  gardens  of  Guerdon  City,  with chopes  pyramidous  and  mousselimes  and  beaconphires  and  colos- sets  and  pensilled  turisses  for  the  busspleaches  of  the  summira- mies  and  esplanadas  and  statuesques  and  templeogues,  the  Par- donell  of  Maynooth,  Fra  Teobaldo,  Nielsen,  rare  admirable,  Jean de  Porteleau,  Conall  Gretecloke,  Guglielmus  Caulis  and  the  eiligh ediculous  Passivucant  (glorietta's  inexcellsiored!):  for  irkdays and  for  folliedays  till  the  comple  anniums  of  calendarias,  gregoro- maios  and  gypsyjuliennes  as  such  are  pleased  of  theirs  to  walk: and  I  planted  for  my  own  hot  lisbing  lass  a  quickset  vineyard  and I  fenced  it  about  with  huge  Chesterfield  elms  and  Kentish  hops and  rigs  of  barlow  and  bowery  nooks  and  greenwished  villas and  pampos  animos  and  (N.I.)  necessitades  iglesias  and  pons  for aguaducks:  a  hawthorndene,  a  feyrieglenn,  the  hallaw  vail,  the dyrchace,  Finmark*s  Howe,  against  lickybudmonth  and  gleaner- month  with  a  magicscene  wall  (rimrim!  rimrim!)  for  a  Queen's garden  of  her  phoenix:  and  (hush!  hush!)  I  brewed  for  my  alpine plurabelle,  wigwarming  wench,  (speakeasy!)  my  granvilled  brand- old  Dublin  lindub,  the  free,  the  froh,  the  frothy  freshener,  puss, puss,  pussyfoot,  to  split  the  spleen  of  her  maw:  and  I  laid  down before  the  trotters  to  my  eblanite  my  stony  battered  waggon - ways,  my  nordsoud  circulums,  my  eastmoreland  and  westland- more,  running  boullowards  and  syddenly  parading,  (hearsemen, opslo!  nuptiallers,  get  storting!):  whereon,  in  mantram  of  true- men  like  yahoomen  (expect  till  dutc  cundoctor  summoneth  him all  fahrts  to  pay,  velkommen  all  hankinhunkn  in  this  vongn  of Hoseyeh!),  claudesdales  withe  arabinstreeds,  Roamer  Reich's rickyshaws  with  Hispain's  King's  trompateers,  madridden  mus-
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tangs,  buckarestive  bronchos,  poster  shays  and  tumintaxis,  and tall  tall  tilburys  and  nod  nod  noddies,  others  gigging  gaily,  some sedated  in  sedans:  my  priccoping  gents,  aroger,  aroger,  my  dam- sells  softsidesaddled,  covertly,  coverdy,  and  Lawdy  Dawe  a  perch behind:  the  mule  and  the  hinny  and  the  jennet  and  the  mustard nag  and  piebald  shjelties  and  skewbald  awknees  steppit  lively (lift  ye  the  left  and  rink  ye  the  right!)  for  her  pleashadure:  and she  lalaughed  in  her  diddydid  domino  to  the  switcheries  of  the whip.  Down  with  them!  Kick!  Playup!
Mattahah!  Marahah!  Luahah!  Joahanahanahana  1
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What  was  thaas?  Fog  was  whaas?  Too  mult  sleepth.  Let sleepth.
But  really  now  whenabouts?  Expatiate  then  how  much  times we  live  in.  Yes.'^
So,  nat  by  night  by  naught  by  naket,  in  those  good  old  lousy days  gone  by,  the  days,  shall  we  say?  of  Whom  shall  we  say? while  kinderwardens  minded  their  twinsbed,  therenow  they- stood,  the  sycomores,  all  four  of  them,  in  their  quartan  agues,  the majorchy,  the  minorchy,  the  everso  and  the  fermentarian  with their  ballyhooric  blowreaper,  titranicht  by  tetranoxst,  at  their pussycorners,  and  that  old  time  pallyollogass,  playing  copers  fear- some, with  Gus  Walker,  the  cuddy,  and  his  poor  old  dying boosy  cough,  esker,  newcsle,  saggard,  crumlin,  dell  me,  donk, the  way  to  wumblin.  Follow  me  beeline  and  you're  bumblin, esker,  newcsle,  saggard,  crumlin.  And  listening.  So  gladdied  up when  nicechild  Kevin  Mary  (who  was  going  to  be  comman- deering chief  of  the  choirboys'  brigade  the  moment  he  grew  up under  all  the  auspices)  irishsmiled  in  his  milky  way  of  cream dwibble  and  onage  tustard  and  dessed  tabbage,  frighted  out  when badbrat  Jerry  Godolphing  (who  was  hurrying  to  be  cardinal scullion  in  a  night  refuge  as  bald  as  he  was  cured  enough unerr  all  the  hospitals)  furrinfrowned  down  his  wrinkly  waste of  methylated  spirits,  ick,  and  lemoncholy  lees,  ick,  and  pulverised rhubarbarorum,  icky;
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night  by  silentsailing  night  while  infantina  Isobel  (who  will  be blushing  all  day  to  be,  when  she  growed  up  one  Sunday, Saint  Holy  and  Saint  Ivory,  when  she  took  the  veil,  the beautiful  presentation  nun,  so  barely  twenty,  in  her  pure  coif, sister  Isobel,  and  next  Sunday,  Mistlemas,  when  she  looked a  peach,  the  beautiful  Samaritan,  still  as  beautiful  and  still in  her  teens,  nurse  Saintette  Isabelle,  with  stiffstarched  cuffs  but on  Holiday,  Christmas,  Easter  mornings  when  she  wore  a  wreath, the  wonderful  widow  of  eighteen  springs,  Madame  Isa  Veuve  La Belle,  so  sad  but  lucksome  in  her  boyblue's  long  black  with orange  blossoming  weeper's  veil)  for  she  was  the  only  girl  they loved,  as  she  is  the  queenly  pearl  you  prize,  because  of  the  way the  night  that  first  we  met  she  is  bound  to  be,  methinks,  and  not in  vain,  the  darling  of  my  heart,  sleeping  in  her  april  cot,  within her  singachamer,  with  her  greengageflavoured  candywhisde duetted  to  the  crazyquilt,  Isobel,  she  is  so  pretty,  truth  to  tell, wildwood's  eyes  and  primarose  hair,  quietly,  all  the  woods  so wild,  in  mauves  of  moss  and  daphnedews,  how  all  so  still  she  lay, neath  of  the  whitethorn,  child  of  tree,  like  some  losthappy  leaf, like  blowing  flower  stilled,  as  fain  would  she  anon,  for  soon  again 'twill  be,  win  me,  woo  me,  wed  me,  ah  weary  me!  deeply,  now evencalm  lay  sleeping;
nowth  upon  nacht,  while  in  his  tumbril  Wachtman  Havelook seequeerscenes,  from  yonsides  of  the  choppy,  punkt  by  his curserbog,  went  long  the  grassgross  bumpinstrass  that  benders the  pubbel  to  pass,  stowing  his  botde  in  a  hole  for  at  whet  his whuskle  to  stretch  ecrooksman,  sequestering  for  lovers'  lost  pro- pertied offices  the  leavethings  from  allpurgers'  night,  og  gneiss ogas  gnasty,  kikkers,  brillers,  knappers  and  bands,  handsboon and  strumpers,  sminkysticks  and  eddiketsflaskers;
wan  fine  night  and  the  next  fine  night  and  last  find  night  while Kothereen  the  Slop  in  her  native's  chambercushy,  with  dreamings of  simmering  my  veal  astore,  was  basquing  to  her  pillasleep  how she  thawght  a  knogg  came  to  the  dowanstairs  dour  at  that  howr to  peirce  the  yare  and  dowandshe  went,  schritt  be  schratt,  to  see was  it  Schweeps's  mingerals  or  Shuhorn  the  posth  with  a  tilly-
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cramp  for  Hemself  and  Co,  Esquara,  or  them  four  hoarsemen  on their  apolkaloops,  Norreys,  Soothbys,  Yates  and  Welks,  and, galorybit  of  the  sanes  in  hevel,  there  was  a  crick  up  the  stirkiss and  when  she  ruz  the  cankle  to  see,  galohery,  downand  she  went on  her  knees  to  blessersef  that  were  knogging  together  like  milk- juggles  as  if  it  was  the  wrake  of  the  hapspurus  or  old  Kong Gander  O'Toole  of  the  Mountains  or  his  googoo  goosth  she seein,  sliving  off  over  the  sawdust  lobby  out  of  the  backroom,  wan ter,  that  was  everywans  in  turruns,  in  his  honeymoon  trim,  holding up  his  fingerhals,  with  the  clookey  in  his  fisstball,  tocher  of  davy's, tocher  of  ivileagh,  for  her  to  whisht,  you  sowbelly,  and  the whites  of  his  pious  eyebulbs  swering  her  to  silence  and  coort;
each  and  every  juridical  sessions  night,  whenas  goodmen twelve  and  true  at  fox  and  geese  in  their  numbered  habitations tried  old  wireless  over  boord  in  their  juremembers,  whereas  by reverendum  they  found  him  guilty  of  their  and  those  imputations of  fornicolopulation  with  two  of  his  albowcrural  correlations  on whom  he  was  said  to  have  enjoyed  by  anticipation  when  school- ing them  in  amown,  mid  grass,  she  sat,  when  man  was,  amazingly frank,  for  their  first  conjugation  whose  colours  at  standing  up from  the  above  were  of  a  pretty  carnation  but,  if  really  'twere not  so,  of  some  deretane  denudation  with  intent  to  excitation, caused  by  his  retrogradation,  among  firearmed  forces  proper  to this  nation  but  apart  from  all  titillation  which,  he  said,  was  under heat  pressure  and  a  good  mitigation  without  which  in  any  case he  insists  upon  being  worthy  of  continued  alimentation  for  him having  displayed,  he  says,  such  grand  toleration,  reprobate  so noted  and  all,  as  he  was,  with  his  washleather  sweeds  and  his smokingstump,  for  denying  transubstantiation  nevertheless  in respect  of  his  highpowered  station,  whereof  more  especially  as probably  he  was  meantime  suffering  genteel  tortures  from  the best  medical  attestation,  as  he  oftentimes  did,  having  only strength  enough,  by  way  of  festination,  to  implore  (or  I  believe you  have  might  have  said  better)  to  complore,  with  complete obsecration,  on  everybody  connected  with  him  the  curse  of  co- agulation for,  he  tells  me  outside  Sammon's  in  King  Street,  after
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two  or  three  hours  of  close  confabulation,  by  this  pewterpint  of Gilbey's  goatswhey  which  is  his  prime  consolation,  albeit  in- volving upon  the  same  no  uncertain  amount  of  esophagous  re- gurgitation, he  being  personally  unpreoccupied  to  the  extent  of a  flea's  gizzard  anent  eructation,  if  he  was  still  extremely  offen- sive to  a  score  and  four  nostrils'  dilatation,  still  he  was  likewise, on  the  other  side  of  him,  for  some  nepmen's  eyes  a  delectation,  as he  asserts  without  the  least  alienation,  so  prays  of  his  faullt  you would  make  obliteration  but  for  our  friend  behind  the  bars, though  like  Adam  Findlater,  a  man  of  estimation,  summing  him up  to  be  done,  be  what  will  of  excess  his  exaltation,  still  we  think with  Sully  there  can  be  no  right  extinuation  for  contravention of  common  and  statute  legislation  for  which  the  fit  remedy resides,  for  Mr  Sully,  in  corporal  amputation:  so  three  months  for Gubbs  Jeroboam,  the  frothwhiskered  pest  of  the  park,  as  per act  one,  section  two,  schedule  three,  clause  four  of  the  fifth  of King  Jark,  this  sentence  to  be  carried  out  tomorrowmorn  by Nolans  Volans  at  six  o'clock  shark,  and  may  the  yeastwind  and the  hoppinghail  malt  mercy  on  his  seven  honeymeads  and  his hurlyburlygrowth.  Amen,  says  the  Clarke;
niece  by  nice  by  neat  by  natty,  whilst  amongst  revery's  happy gardens  nine  with  twenty  Leixlip  yearlings,  darters  all,  had  such  a ripping  time  with  gleeful  cries  of  what  is  nice  toppingshaun  made of  made  for  and  weeping  like  fun,  him  to  be  gone,  for  they  were never  happier,  huhu,  than  when  they  were  miserable,  haha;
in  their  bed  of  trial,  on  the  bolster  of  hardship,  by  the  glimmer of  memory,  under  coverlets  of  cowardice,  Albatrus  Nyanzer  with Victa  Nyanza,  his  mace  of  might  mortified,  her  beautifell  hung up  on  a  nail,  he,  Mr  of  our  fathers,  she,  our  moddereen  ru  arue rue,  they,  ay,  by  the  hodypoker  and  blazier,  they  are,  as  sure  as dinny  drops  into  the  dyke  .  .  .
A  cry  off.
Where  are  we  at  all?  and  whenabouts  in  the  name  of  space? I  don't  understand.  I  fail  to  say.  I  dearsee  you  too. House  of  the  cederbalm  of  mead.  Garth  of  Fyon.  Scene  and property  plot.  Stagemanager's  prompt.  Interior  of  dwelling  on  out-
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skirts  of  city.  Groove  two.  Chamber  scene.  Boxed.  Ordinary  bed- room set.  Salmonpapered  walls.  Back,  empty  Irish  grate,  Adam's mantel,  with  wilting  elopement  fan,  soot  and  tinsel,  condemned. North,  wall  with  window  practicable.  Argentine  in  casement. Vamp.  Pelmit  above.  No  curtains.  Blind  drawn.  South,  party  wall. Bed  for  two  with  strawberry  bedspread,  wickerworker  clubsessel and  caneseated  millikinstool.  Bookshrine  without,  facetowel  upon. Chair  for  one.  Woman's  garments  on  chair.  Man's  trousers  with crossbelt  braces,  collar  on  bedknob.  Man's  corduroy  surcoat  with tabrets  and  taces,  seapan  nacre  buttons  on  nail.  Woman's  gown on  ditto.  Over  mantelpiece  picture  of  Michael,  lance,  slaying Satan,  dragon  with  smoke.  Small  table  near  bed,  front.  Bed  with bedding.  Spare.  Flagpatch  quilt.  Yverdown  design.  Limes. Lighted  lamp  without  globe,  scarf,  gazette,  tumbler,  quantity of  water,  julepot,  ticker,  side  props,  eventuals,  man's  gummy article,  pink.
Act:  dumbshow.  i Closeup.  Leads.  ^ Man  with  nightcap,  in  bed,  fore.  Woman,  with  curlpins,  hind. Discovered.  Side  point  of  view.  First  position  of  harmony.  Say! Eh.^  Ha!  Check  action.  Matt.  Male  partly  masking  female.  Man looking  round,  beastly  expression,  fishy  eyes,  paralleliped homoplatts,  ghazometron  pondus,  exhibits  rage.  Business.  Ruddy blond,  Armenian  bole,  black  patch,  beer  wig,  gross  build, episcopalian,  any  age.  Woman,  sitting,  looks  at  ceiling,  haggish expression,  peaky  nose,  trekant  mouth,  fithery  wight,  exhibits fear.  Welshrabbit  teint,  Nubian  shine,  nasal  fossette,  turfy  tuft, undersized,  free  kirk,  no  age.  Closeup.  Play! Callboy.    Cry  off,  Tabler.  Her  move. Footage.
By  the  sinewy  forequarters  of  the  mare  Pocahontas  and  by  the white  shoulders  of  Finnuala  you  should  have  seen  how  that smart  sallowlass  just  hopped  a  nanny's  gambit  out  of  bunk  like old  mother  Mesopotomac  and  in  eight  and  eight  sixtyfour  she was  off,  door,  knightlamp  with  her,  billy's  largelimbs  prodgering
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after  to  queen's  lead.  Promiscuous  Omebound  to  Fiammelle  la Diva.  HufF!  His  move.  Blackout. Circus.  Corridor.
Shifting  scene.  Wall  flats:  sink  and  fly.  Spotlight  working  wall cloths.  Spill  playing  rake  and  bridges.  Room  to  sink:  stairs  to sink  behind  room.  Two  pieces.  Haying  after  queue.  Replay.
The  old  humburgh  looks  a  thing  incomplete  so.  It  is  so.  On  its dead.  But  it  will  pawn  up  a  fine  head  of  porter  when  it  is  finished. In  the  quicktime.  The  castle  arkwright  put  in  a  chequered  staircase certainly.  It  has  only  one  square  step,  to  be  steady,  yet  notwith- stumbling  are  they  stalemating  backgammoner  supstairs  by  skips and  trestles  tiltop  double  corner.  Whist  while  and  game.
What  scenic  artist!  It  is  ideal  residence  for  realtar.  By  hims ingang  tilt  tinkt  a  tunning  bell  that  Limen  Mr,  that  Boggey Godde,  be  airwaked.  Lingling,  lingling.  Be  their  maggies  in  all. Chump,  do  your  ephort.  Shop!  Please  shop!  Shop  ado  please! O  ado  please  shop !  How  hominous  his  house,  haunt  it.'^  Yesses indead  it  be !  Nogen,  of  imperial  measure,  is  begraved  beneadher. Here  are  his  naggins  poured,  his  alladim  lamps.  Around  the bloombiered,  booty  with  the  bedst.  For  them  whom  he  have fordone  make  we  newly  thankful !
Tell  me  something.  The  Porters,  so  to  speak,  after  their shadowstealers  in  the  newsbaggers,  are  very  nice  people,  are  they not.^  Very,  all  fourlike  tellt.  And  on  this  wise,  Mr  Porter  (Bar- tholomew, heavy  man,  astern,  mackerel  shirt,  hayamatt  peruke) is  an  excellent  forefather  and  Mrs  Porter  (leading  lady,  a poopahead,  gafl'neysaffron  nightdress,  iszoppy  chepelure)  is  a most  kindhearted  messmother.  A  so  united  family  pateramater is  not  more  existing  on  papel  or  off  of  it.  As  keymaster  fits  the lock  it  weds  so  this  bally  builder  to  his  streamline  secret.  They care  for  nothing  except  everything  that  is  allporterous.  Porto da  Br  Olio!  Isn't  that  terribly  nice  of  diem.^  You  can  ken  that  they come  of  a  rarely  old  family  by  their  costumance  and  one  must togive  that  one  supped  of  it  in  all  tonearts  from  awe  to  zest.  I think  I  begin  to  divine  so  much.  Only  snakkest  me  truesome!  I stone  us  I'm  hable.
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To  reachy  a  skeer  do!  Still  hoyhra,  till  venstra!  Here  are  two rooms  on  the  upstairs,  at  forkflank  and  at  knifekanter.  Whom  in the  wood  are  they  for?  Why,  for  little  Porter  babes,  to  be  saved! The  coeds,  boytom  thwackers  and  timbuy  teaser.  Here  is  one- thing  you  owed  two  noe.  This  one  once  upon  awhile  was  the other  but  this  is  the  other  one  nighadays.  Ah  so?  The  Corsicos? They  are  numerable.  Guest  them.  Major  bed,  minor  bickhive. Halosobuth,  sov  us!  Who  sleeps  in  now  number  one,  for  ex- ample? A  pussy,  purr  esimple.  Cunina,  Statulina  and  Edulia, but  how  sweet  of  her!  Has  your  pussy  a  pessname?  Yes,  indeed, you  will  hear  it  passim  in  all  the  noveletta  and  she  is  named Buttercup.  Her  bare  name  will  tellt  it,  a  monitress.  How  very sweet  of  her  and  what  an  excessively  lovecharming  missyname to  forsake,  now  that  I  come  to  drink  of  it  filtred,  a  gracecup fulled  of  bitterness.  She  is  dadad's  lottiest  daughterpearl  and brooder's  cissiest  auntybride.  Her  shellback  thimblecasket  mirror only  can  show  her  dearest  friendeen.  To  speak  well  her  grace it  would  ask  of  Grecian  language,  of  her  goodness,  that  legend golden.  Biryina  Saindua!  Loreas  with  lillias  flocaflake  arrosas! Here's  newyearspray,  the  posquiflor,  a  windaborne  and  helio- trope; there  miriamsweet  and  amaranth  and  marygold  to  crown. Add  lightest  knot  unto  tiptition.  O  Charis!  O  Charissima! A  more  intriguant  bambolina  could  one  not  colour  up  out of  Boccuccia's  Enameron.  Would  one  but  to  do  apart  a  lilybit  her virginelles  and,  so,  to  breath,  so,  therebetween,  behold,  she  had instantt  with  her  handmade  as  to  graps  the  myth  inmid  the  air. Mother  of  moth !  I  will  to  show  herword  in  flesh.  Approach  not  for ghost  sake !  It  is  dormition !  She  may  think,  what  though  litde  doth she  realise,  as  morning  fresheth,  it  hath  happened  her,  you  know what,  as  they  too  what  two  dare  not  utter.  Silvoo  plush,  if  scolded she  draws  a  face.  Petticoat's  asleep  but  in  the  gentlenest  of  her thoughts  apoo  is  a  nursepin.  To  be  presented,  Babs  for  Bim- bushi?  Of  courts  and  with  enticers.  Up,  girls,  and  at  him!  Alone? Alone  what?  I  mean,  our  strifestirrer,  does  she  do  fleurty  winkies with  herself.  Pussy  is  never  alone,  as  records  her  chambrette,  for she  can  always  look  at  Biddies  and  talk  petnames  with  her  little
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playfilly  when  she  is  sitting  downy  on  the  ploshmat.  O,  she talks,  does  she?  Marry,  how?  Rosepetalletted  sounds.  Ah  Biddies es  ma  plikplak.  Ah  plikplak  wed  ma  Biddies.  A  nice  jezebel  bary- tinette  she  will  gift  but  I  much  prefer  her  missnomer  in  maidenly golden  lasslike  gladsome  wenchful  flowery  girlish  beautycapes. So  do  I,  much.  Dulce  delicatissima!  Doth  Dolly  weeps  she  is bastings.  Will  Dally  bumpsetty  it  is  tubtime.  Allaliefest,  she  who pities  very  pebbles,  dare  we  not  wish  on  her  our  thrice  onsk? A  lovely  fear !  That  she  seventip  toe  her  chrysming,  that  she  spin blue  to  scarlad  till  her  templets  veil,  that  the  Mount  of  Whoam  it open  it  her  to  shelterer!  She  will  blow  ever  so  much  more  pro- misefuller,  blee  me,  than  all  the  other  common  marygales  that romp  round  brigidschool,  charming  Carry  Whambers  or  saucy Susy  Maucepan  of  Merry  Anna  Patchbox  or  silly  Polly  Flinders. Platsch!  A  plikaplak.
And  since  we  are  talking  amnessly  of  brukasloop  crazedledaze, who  doez  in  sleeproom  number  twobis?  The  twobirds.  Holy policeman,  O,  I  see!  Of  what  age  are  your  birdies?  They  are  to come  of  twinning  age  so  soon  as  they  may  be  born  to  be  elder- ing  like  those  olders  while  they  are  living  under  chairs.  They  are and  they  seem  to  be  so  tightly  tattached  as  two  maggots  to  touch other,  I  think  I  notice,  do  I  not?  You  do.  Our  bright  bull  babe Frank  Kevin  is  on  heartsleeveside.  Do  not  you  waken  him!  Our farheard  bode.  He  is  happily  to  sleep,  limb  of  the  Lord,  with  his lifted  in  blessing,  his  buchel  losa,  like  the  blissed  angel  he  looks  so like  and  his  mou  is  semiope  as  though  he  were  blowdelling  on  a bugigle.  Whenever  I  see  those  smiles  in  eyes  'tis  Father  Quinn again.  Very  shortly  he  will  smell  sweetly  when  he  will  hear  a  weird to  wean.  By  gorgeous,  that  boy  will  blare  some  knight  when  he  will take  his  dane's  pledges  and  quit  our  ingletears,  spite  of  undesirable parents,  to  wend  him  to  Amorica  to  quest  a  cashy  job.  That  keen dean  with  his  veen  nonsolance!  O,  I  adore  the  profeen  music! DoUarmighty!  He  is  too  audorable  really,  eunique!  I  guess  to have  seen  somekid  like  him  in  the  story  book,  guess  I  met  some- where somelam  to  whom  he  will  be  becoming  liker.  But  hush! How  unpardonable  of  me!  I  beg  for  your  venials,  sincerely  I  do.
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Hush!  The  other,  twined  on  codliverside,  has  been  crying  in his  sleep,  making  sharpshape  his  inscissors  on  some  first  choice sweeis  fished  out  of  the  muck.  A  stake  in  our  mead.  What  a teething  wretch!  How  his  book  of  craven  images!  Here  are  post- humious  tears  on  his  intimelle.  And  he  has  pipettishly  bespilled himself  from  his  foundingpen  as  illspent  from  inkinghorn.  He  is jem  job  joy  pip  poo  pat  (jot  um  for  a  sobrat!)  Jerry  Jehu.  You  will know  him  by  name  in  the  capers  but  you  cannot  see  whose  heel  he sheepfolds  in  his  wrought  hand  because  I  have  not  told  it  to  you. O,  foetal  sleep!  Ah,  fatal  slip!  the  one  loved,  the  other  left,  the bride  of  pride  leased  to  the  stranger  1  He  will  be  quite  within  the  pale when  with  lordbeeron  brow  he  vows  him  so  tosset  to  be  of  the  sir Blake  tribes  bleak  while  through  life's  unblest  he  rodes  backs  of bannars.  Are  you  not  somewhat  bulgar  with  your  bowels.^ Whatever  do  you  mean  with  bleak.'^  With  pale  blake  I  write  tint- ingface.  O,  you  do.'*  And  with  steel  white  and  blackmail  I  ha'scint for  my  sweet  an  anemone's  letter  with  a  gold  of  my  bridest  hair betied.  Donatus  his  mark,  address  as  follows.  So  you  did.'*  From the  Cat  and  Cage.  O,  I  see  and  see!  In  the  ink  of  his  sweat he  will  find  it  yet.  What  Gipsy  Devereux  vowed  to  Lylian  and why  the  elm  and  how  the  stone.  You  never  may  know  in  the preterite  all  perhaps  that  you  would  not  believe  that  you  ever even  saw  to  be  about  to.  Perhaps.  But  they  are  two  very  blizky little  portereens  after  their  bredscrums,  JerkofF  and  Eatsup,  as for  my  part  opinion  indeed.  They  would  be  born  so,  costarred, puck  and  prig,  the  maryboy  at  Donnybrook  Fair,  the  godolphing- lad  in  the  Hoy's  Court.  How  frilled  one  shall  be  as  at  taledold  of Formio  and  Cigalette!  What  folly  innocents!  Theirs  whet  pep  of puppyhood!  Both  barmhearts  shall  become  yeastcake  by  their brackfest.  I  will  to  leave  a  my  copperwise  blessing  between  the pair  of  them,  for  rosengorge,  for  greenafang.  Blech  and  tin  soldies, weals  in  a  sniffbox.  Som's  wholed,  all's  parted.  Weeping  shouldst not  thou  be  when  man  falls  but  that  divine  scheming  ever  adoring be.  So  you  be  either  man  or  mouse  and  you  be  neither  fish  nor flesh.  Take.  And  take.  Vellicate  nyche !  Be  ones  as  wes  for  gives  for gives  now  the  hour  of  passings  sembles  quick  with  quelled.  Adieu, soft  adieu,  for  these  nice  presents,  kerryjevin.  Still  tosorrow!
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Jeminy,  what  is  the  view  which  now  takes  up  a  second  posi- tion of  discordance,  tell  it  please?  Mark!  You  notice  it  in  that rereway  because  the  male  entail  partially  eclipses  the  femecovert. It  is  so  called  for  its  discord  the  meseedo.  Do  you  ever  heard  the story  about  Helius  Croesus,  that  white  and  gold  elephant  in  our zoopark?  You  astonish  me  by  it.  Is  it  not  that  we  are  command- ing from  fullback,  woman  permitting,  a  profusely  fine  birdseye view  from  beauhind  this  park?  Finn  his  park  has  been  much  the admiration  of  all  the  stranger  ones,  grekish  and  romanos,  who arrive  to  here.  The  straight  road  down  the  centre  (see  relief  map) bisexes  the  park  which  is  said  to  be  the  largest  of  his  kind  in  the world.  On  the  right  prominence  confronts  you  the  handsome vinesregent's  lodge  while,  turning  to  the  other  supreme  piece  of cheeks,  exactly  opposite,  you  are  confounded  by  the  equally  hand- some chief  sacristary's  residence.  Around  is  a  little  amiably  tufted and  man  is  cheered  when  he  bewonders  through  the  boskage how  the  nature  in  all  frisko  is  enlivened  by  gentlemen's  seats. Here  are  heavysuppers  —  'tis  for  daddies  housings  for  hun- dredaires  of  our  super  thin  thousand.  By  gum,  but  you  have resin!  Of  these  tallworts  are  yielded  out  juices  for  jointoils  and pappasses  for  paynims.  Listeneth!  'Tis  a  tree  story.  How  olave, that  firile,  was  aplantad  in  her  liveside.  How  tannoboom  held tonobloom.  How  rood  in  norlandes.  The  black  and  blue  marks athwart  the  weald,  which  now  barely  is  so  stripped,  indicate  the presence  of  sylvious  beltings.  Therewithal  shady  rides  lend themselves  out  to  rustic  cavalries.  In  yonder  valley,  too, stays  mountain  sprite.  Any  pretty  dears  are  to  be  caught  inside but  it  is  a  bad  pities  of  the  plain.  A  scarlet  pimparnell  now mules  the  mound  where  anciently  first  murders  were  wanted to  take  root.  By  feud  fionghalian.  Talkingtree  and  sinningstone stay  on  either  hand.  Hystorical  leavesdroppings  may  also  be  gar- nered up  with  sir  Shamus  Swiftpatrick,  Archfieldchaplain  of  Saint Lucan's.  How  familiar  it  is  to  see  all  these  interesting  advenements with  one  snaked's  eyes!  Is  all?  Yet  not!  Hear  one's.  At  the  bodom fundus  of  this  royal  park,  which,  with  tvigate  shyasian  gardeenen, is  open  to  the  public  till  night  at  late,  so  well  the  sissastrides  so  will
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the  pederestians,  do  not  fail  to  point  to  yourself  a  depression called  HoU  Hollow.  It  is  often  quite  guttergloomering  in  our duol  and  gives  wankyrious  thoughts  to  the  head  but  the  banders of  the  pen  tap  oli  tan  poleetsfurcers  bassoons  into  it  on  windy woodensdays  their  wellbooming  wolvertones.  Ulvos!  Ulvos!
Whervolk  dorst  ttou  begin  to  tremble  by  our  moving  pictures at  this  moment  when  I  am  to  place  my  hand  of  our  true  friend- shapes  upon  thee  knee  to  mark  well  what  I  say?  Throu  shayest who?  In  Amsterdam  there  lived  a . . .  But  how?  You  are  trem- blotting,  you  retchad,  like  a  verry  jerry!  Niet?  Will  you  a  gui- neeser?  Gaij  beutel  of  staub?  To  feel,  you?  Yes,  how  it  trembles, the  timid!  Vortigern,  ah  Gortigern!  Overlord  of  Mercia!  Or doth  brainskin  flinchgreef?  Stemming!  What  boyazhness!  Sole shadow  shows.  Tis  jest  jibberweek's  joke.  It  must  have  stole.  O, keve  silence,  both!  Putshameyu!  I  have  heard  her  voice  some- where else's  before  me  in  these  ears  still  that  now  are  for  mine.
Let  op.  Slew  musies.  Thunner  in  the  eire.
You  were  dreamend,  dear.  The  pawdrag?  The  fawthrig? Shoe!  Hear  are  no  phanthares  in  the  room  at  all,  avikkeen.  No bad  bold  faathern,  dear  one.  Opop  opop  capallo,  muy  malinchily malchick!  Gothgorod  father  godown  followay  tomollow  the lucky  load  to  Lublin  for  make  his  thoroughbass  grossman's  big- ness. Take  that  two  piece  big  slap  slap  bold  honty  bottomsside pap  pap  pappa.
—  Li  ne  dormis?
—  S!  Malhone  dormas.
—  Kia  li  krias  nikte?
—  Parolas  infanetes.  SI
Sonly  all  in  your  imagination,  dim.  Poor  little  brittle  magic nation,  dim  of  mind!  Shoe  to  me  now,  dear!  Shoom  of  me!  While elvery  stream  winds  seling  on  for  to  keep  this  barrel  of  bounty rolling  and  the  nightmail  afarfrom  morning  nears.
When  you're  coaching  through  Lucalised,  on  the  sulphur  spa to  visit,  it's  safer  to  hit  than  miss  it,  stop  at  his  inn!  The  hammers are  telling  the  cobbles,  the  pickts  are  hacking  the  saxums,  it's snugger  to  burrow  abed  than  ballet  on  broadway.  Tuck  in  your
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blank!  For  it*s  race  pound  race  the  hosties  rear  all  roads  to  ruin and  layers  by  lifetimes  laid  down  riches  from  poormen.  Cried unions  to  chip,  saltpetre  to  strew,  gallpitch  to  drink,  stonebread to  break  but  it's  bully  to  gulp  good  blueberry  pudding.  Doze in  your  warmth !  While  the  elves  in  the  moonbeams,  feeling  why, will  keep  my  lilygem  gently  gleaming.
In  the  sleepingchambers.  The  court  to  go  into  half  morning. The  four  seneschals  with  their  palfrey  to  be  there  now,  all balaaming  in  their  sellaboutes  and  sharping  up  their  penisills.  The boufeither  Soakersoon  at  holdup  tent  sticker.  The  swabsister Katya  to  have  duntalking  and  to  keep  shakenin  dowan  her  drogh- edars.  Those  twelve  chief  barons  to  stand  by  duedesmally  with their  folded  arums  and  put  down  all  excursions  and  false  alarums and  after  that  to  go  back  now  to  their  runameat  farums  and  re- compile their  magnum  chartarums  with  the  width  of  the  road between  them  and  all  harrums.  The  maidbrides  all,  in  favours gay,  to  strew  sleety  cinders  on  their  falling  hair  and  for  wouldbe joybells  to  ring  sadly  ringless  hands.  The  dame  dowager  to  stay kneeled  how  she  is,  as  first  mutherer  with  cord  in  coil.  The  two princes  of  the  tower  royal,  daulphin  and  deevlin,  to  lie  how  they are  without  to  see.  The  dame  dowager's  duffgerent  to  present wappon,  blade  drawn  to  the  full  and  about  wheel  without  to  be seen  of  them.  The  infant  Isabella  from  her  coign  to  do  obeisance toward  the  duffgerent,  as  first  futherer  with  drawn  brand.  Then the  court  to  come  in  to  full  morning.  Herein  see  ye  fail  not!
— Vidu^  porkegof  Hi  vi  rigardas.  Returnu^  porkegol  Maldeli- katof
Gauze  off  heaven!  Vision.  Then,  O,  pluxty  suddly,  the  sight entrancing!  Hummels!  That  crag!  Those  bullocks!  O  Sire!  So  be accident  occur  is  not  going  to  commence !  What  have  you  there- fore? Fear  you  the  donkers?  Of  roovers?  I  fear  lest  we  have  lost ours  (non  grant  it!)  respecting  these  wildy  parts.  How  is  hit  finis- ter!  How  shagsome  all  and  beastful!  What  do  you  show  on?  I show  because  I  must  see  before  my  misfortune  so  a  stark  pointing pole.  Lord  of  ladders,  what  for  lungitube!  Can  you  read  the  verst legend  hereon?  I  am  bather  of  the  missed.  Areed!  To  the  dun-
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leary  obelisk  via  the  rock  vhat  myles  knox  furlongs;  to  the general's  postoffice  howsands  of  patience;  to  the  Wellington memorial  half  a  league  wrongwards;  to  Sara's  bridge  good  hun- ter and  nine  to  meet  her:  to  the  point,  one  yeoman's  yard.  He,  he, he!  At  that  do  you  leer,  a  setting  up?  With  a  such  unfettered  belly? Two  cascades?  I  leer  (O  my  big,  O  my  bog,  O  my  bigbagbone!) because  I  must  see  a  buntingcap  of  so  a  pinky  on  the  point.  It  is for  a  true  glover's  greetings  and  many  burgesses  by  us,  greats and  grosses,  uses  to  pink  it  in  this  way  at  tet-at-tet.  For  long  has it  been  effigy  of  standard  royal  when  broken  on  roofstaff  which to  the  gunnings  shall  cast  welcome  from  Courtmilits'  Fortress, umptydum  dumptydum.  Bemark  you  these  hangovers,  those streamer  fields,  his  influx.  Do  you  not  have  heard  that,  the  queen lying  abroad  from  fury  of  the  gales,  (meekname  mocktitles  her Nan  Nan  Nanetta)  her  liege  of  lateenth  dignisties  shall  come  on their  bay  tomorrow,  Michalsmas,  mellems  the  third  and  fourth  of the  clock,  there  to  all  the  king's  aussies  and  all  their  king's  men, knechts  tramplers  and  cavalcaders,  led  of  herald  graycloak,  Ulaf Goldarskield?  Dog!  Dog!  Her  lofts  will  be  loosed  for  her  and their  tumblers  broodcast.  A  progress  shall  be  made  in  walk,  ney?  I trow  it  well,  and  uge  by  uge.  He  shall  come,  sidesmen  accostant,  by aryan  jubilarian  and  on  brigadier-general  Nolan  or  and  buccaneer- admiral  Browne,  with  —  who  can  doubt  it?  —  his  golden  beagles and  his  white  elkox  terriers  for  a  hunting  on  our  littlego  illcome faxes.  In  blue  and  buff  of  Beaufort  the  hunt  shall  make.  It  is poblesse  noblige.  Ommes  will  grin  through  collars  when  each riders  other's  ass.  Me  Eccls!  What  cats'  killings  overall!  What popping  out  of  guillotened  widows!  Quick  time!  Beware  of waiting!  Squintina  plies  favours  on  us  from  her  rushfrail  and Zosimus,  the  crowder,  in  his  surcoat,  sues  us  with  souftwister. Apart  we!  Here  are  gantlets.  I  believe,  by  Plentifolks  Mixymost! Yet  if  I  durst  to  express  the  hope  how  I  might  be  able  to  be  pre- sent. All  these  peeplers  entrammed  and  detrained  on  bikeygels and  troykakyls  and  those  puny  farting  little  solitires!  ToUacre, tollacre!  Polo  north  will  beseem  Sibernian  and  Plein  Pelouta  will behowl  ne  yerking  at  lawncastrum  ne  ghimbelling  on  guelflinks.
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Mauser  Misma  shall  cease  to  stretch  her  and  come  abroad  for  what the  blinkins  is  to  be  seen.  A  ruber,  a  rancher,  a  fullvide,  a  veri- dust  and  as  crerdulous  behind  as  he  was  before  behind  a  damson of  a  sloe  cooch.  Mbv!  The  annamation  of  evabusies,  the  livlia- ness  of  her  laughings,  such  as  a  plurity  of  bells !  Have  peacience, pray  you!  Place  to  dames!  Even  the  Lady  Victoria  Landauner will  leave  to  loll  and  parasol,  all  giddied  into  gushgasps  with  her dickey  standing.  Britus  and  Gothius  shall  no  more  joustle  for that  sonneplace  but  mark  one  autonement  when,  with  si  so  silent, Cloudia  Aiduolcis,  good  and  dewed  up,  shall  let  fall,  yes,  no,  yet, now,  a  rain.  Muchsias  grapcias!  It  is  how  sweet  from  her,  the wispful,  and  they  are  soon  seen  swopsib  so  a  sautril  as  a  meise. Its  ist  not  the  tear  on  this  movent  sped.  Tix  sixponce!  Poum! Hool  poll  the  bull?  Fool  pay  the  bill.  Becups  a  can  full.  Peal,  pull the  bell !  Still  sayeme  of  ceremonies,  much  much  more !  So  please- your!  It  stands  in  Instopressible  how  Meynhir  Mayour,  our boorgomaister,  thon  staunch  Thorsman,  (our  Nancy's  fancy,  our own  Nanny's  Big  Billy),  his  hod  hoisted,  in  best  bib  and  tucker, with  Woolington  bottes  over  buckram  babbishkis  and  his  clouded cane  and  necknoose  aureal,  surrounded  of  his  full  cooperation with  fixed  baronets  and  meng  our  pueblos,  restrained  by  chain  of hands  from  pinchgut,  hoghill,  darklane,  gibbetmeade  and  beaux and  laddes  and  bumbellye,  shall  receive  Dom  King  at  broadstone barrow  meet  a  keys  of  goodmorrow  on  to  his  pompey  cushion. Me  amble  dooty  to  your  grace's  majers!  Arise,  sir  Pompkey Dompkey!  Ear!  Ear!  Weakear!  An  allness  eversides!  We  but miss  that  horse  elder  yet  cherchant  of  the  wise  graveleek  in cabbuchin  garden.  That  his  be  foison,  old  Caubeenhauben ! 'Twill  be  tropic  of  all  days.  By  the  splendour  of  Sole!  Perfect weatherest  prevailing.  Thisafter,  swift's  mightmace  deposing,  he shall  aidress  to  His  Serenemost  by  a  speechreading  from  his miniated  vellum,  alfi  byrni  gamman  dealter  etcera  zezera  eacla treacla  youghta  kaptor  lomdom  noo,  who  meaningwhile  that illuminatured  one,  Papyroy  of  Pepinregn,my  Sire,  great,  big  King, (his  scaffold  is  there  set  up,  as  to  edify,  by  Rex  Ingram,  pageant- master)  will  be  poking  out  with  his  canule  into  the  arras  of
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what  brilliant  bridgecloths  and  joking  up  with  his  tonguespitz to  the  crimosing  balkonladies,  here's  a  help  undo  their  modest stays  with  a  fullbelow  may  the  funnyfeelbelong.  Oddsbones, that  may  it!  Carilloners  will  ring  their  gluckspeels.  Rng  rng! Rng  rng!  S.  Presbutt-in-the-North,  S.  Mark  Underloop, S.  Lorenz-by-the-Toolechest,  S.  Nicholas  Myre.  You  shall hark  to  anune  S.  Gardener,  S.  George-le-Greek,  S.  Barclay Moitered,  S.  Phibb,  lona-in-the-Fields  with  Paull-the-Aposteln. And  audialterand:  S.  Jude-at-Gate,  Bruno  Friars,  S.  Weslen- on-the-Row,  S.  Molyneux  Without,  S.  Mary  Stillamaries  with Bride-and-Audeons-behind-Wardborg.  How  chimant  in  effect! Alia  tingaling  pealabells!  So  a  many  of  churches  one  cannot pray  own's  prayers.  'Tis  holyyear's  day!  Juin  jully  we  may! Agithetta  and  Tranquilla  shall  demure  umclaused  but  Marl- borough-the-Less,  Greatchrist  and  Holy  Protector  shall  have open  virgilances.  Beata  Basilica!  But  will  be  not  pontifi- cation?  Dock,  dock,  agame!  Primatially.  At  wateredge.  Can- taberra  and  Neweryork  may  supprecate  when,  by  vepers,  for towned  and  travailed,  his  goldwhite  swaystick  aloft  ylifted, umbrilla-parasoul,  Monsigneur  of  Deublan  shall  impart  to  all. Benedictus  henedicat!  To  board!  And  mealsight!  Unjoin t  him this  bittern,  frust  me  this  chicken,  display  yon  crane,  thigh  her her  pigeon,  unlace  allay  rabbit  and  pheasant!  Sing:  Old  Finncoole, he's  a  mellow  old  saoul  when  he  swills  with  his  fuddlers  free! Poppop  array!  For  we're  all  jollygame  fellhellows  which  no- bottle  can  deny!  Here  be  trouts  culponed  for  ye  and  salmons chined  and  sturgeons  tranched,  sanced  capons,  lobsters  barbed. Call  halton  eatwords!  Mumm  me  moe  mummers!  What,  no Ithalians.'^  How,  not  one  Moll  Pamelas.^  Accordingly!  Play  actors by  us  ever  have  crash  to  their  gate.  Mr  Messop  and  Mr  Borry  will produce  of  themselves,  as  they're  two  genitalmen  of  Veruno, Senior  Nowno  and  Senior  Brolano  (finaly!  finaly!),  all  for  love  of a  fair  penitent  that,  a  she  be  broughton,  rhoda's  a  rosy  she.  Their two  big  skins!  How  they  strave  to  gat  her!  Such  a  boyplay!  Their bouchicaulture !  What  tyronte  power!  Buy  our  fays!  My  name  is novel  and  on  the  Granby  in  hills.  Bravose!  Thou  traitor  slave!
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Mine  name's  Apnorval  and  o'er  the  Grandbeyond  Mountains. Bravossimost!  The  royal  nusick  their  show  shall  shut  with  song- slide  to  nature's  solemn  silence.  Deep  Dalchi  Dolando!  Might gentle  harp  addurge !  It  will  give  piketurns  on  the  tummlipplads and  forain  dances  and  crosshurdles  and  dollmanovers  and  viceuv- ious  pyrolyphics,  a  snow  of  dawnflakes,  at  darkfall  for  Grace's Mamnesty  and  our  fancy  ladies,  all  assombred.  Some  wholetime  in hot  town  tonight!  You  do  not  have  heard.'^  It  stays  in  book of  that  which  is.  I  have  heard  anyone  tell  it  jesterday  (master currier  with  brassard  was't)  how  one  should  come  on  morrow here  but  it  is  never  here  that  one  today.  Well  but  remind  to  think, you  where  yestoday  Ys  Morganas  war  and  that  it  is  always  to- morrow in  toth's  tother's  place.  Amen.
True!  True!  Vouchsafe  me  more  soundpicture !  It  gives  furi- ously to  think.  Is  rich  Mr  Pornter,  a  squire,  not  always  in  his  such strong  health.'^  I  thank  you  for  the  best,  he  is  in  taken  deal  ex- ceedingly herculeneous.  One  sees  how  he  is  lot  stoutlier  than  of formerly.  One  would  say  him  to  hold  whole  a  litteringture  of kidlings  under  his  aproham.  Has  handsome  Sir  Pournter  always been  so  long  married.'^  O  yes,  Lord  Pournterfamilias  has  been marryingman  ever  since  so  long  time  in  Hurtleforth,  where  he appeers  as  our  oily  the  active,  and,  yes  indeed,  he  has  his  mic  son and  his  two  fine  mac  sons  and  a  superfine  mick  want  they  mack metween  them.  She,  she,  she!  But  on  what  do  you  again  leer.'^  I  am not  leering,  I  pink  you  pardons.  I  am  highly  sheshe  sherious.
Do  you  not  must  want  to  go  somewhere  on  the  present.'* Yes,  O  pity!  At  earliest  moment!  That  prickly  heat  feeling!  For- think  not  me  spill  it's  at  always  so  guey.  Here  we  shall  do  a far  walk  (O  pity)  anygo  khaibits  till  the  number  one  of  sairey's place.  Is,  is.  I  want  you  to  admire  her  sceneries  illustrationing our  national  first  rout,  one  ought  ought  one.  We  shall  too downlook  on  that  ford  where  Sylvanus  Sanctus  washed  but hurdley  those  tips  of  his  anointeds.  Do  not  show  ever  retrorsehim, crookodeyled,  till  that  you  become  quite  crimstone  in  the  face! Beware!  guardafew!  It  is  Stealer  of  the  Heart!  I  am  anxious  in regard  you  should  everthrown  your  sillarsalt.  I  will  dui  sui,  tef-
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nute!  These  brilling  waveleaplights !  Please  say  me  how  sing  you them.  Seekhem  seckhem!  They  arise  from  a  clear  springwell  in the  near  of  our  park  which  makes  the  daft  to  hear  all  blend.  This place  of  endearment!  How  it  is  clear!  And  how  they  cast  their spells  upon,  the  fronds  that  thereup  float,  the  bookstaff  branch- ings! The  druggeted  stems,  the  leaves  incut  on  trees!  Do  you can  their  tantrist  spellings?  I  can  lese,  skillmistress  aiding.  Elm, bay,  this  way,  cull  dare,  take  a  message,  tawny  runes  ilex  sallow, meet  me  at  the  pine.  Yes,  they  shall  have  brought  us  to  the  water trysting,  by  hedjes  of  maiden  ferm,  then  here  in  another  place  is their  chapelofeases,  sold  for  song,  of  which  you  have  thought my  praise  too  much  my  price.  O  ma  ma!  Yes,  sad  one  of  Ziod.'^ Sell  me,  my  soul  dear!  Ah,  my  sorrowful,  his  cloister  dreeping of  his  monkshood,  how  it  is  triste  to  death,  all  his  dark  ivytod! Where  cold  in  dearth.  Yet  see,  my  blanching  kissabelle,  in  the under  close  she  is  allso  gay,  her  kirtles  green,  her  curtsies  white, her  peony  pears,  her  nistlingsloes !  I,  pipette,  I  must  also  quick- lingly  to  tryst  myself  softly  into  this  littleeasechapel.  I  would rather  than  Ireland!  But  I  pray,  make!  Do  your  easiness!  O, peace,  this  is  heaven !  O,  Mr  Prince  of  Pouringtoher,  whatever shall  I  pppease  to  do.'^  Why  do  you  so  lifesighs,  my  precious,  as I  hear  from  you,  with  limmenings  lemantitions,  after  that  swollen one.'^  I  am  not  sighing,  I  assure,  but  only  I  am  soso  sorry  about all  in  my  saarasplace.  Listen,  listen!  I  am  doing  it.  Hear  more  to those  voices!  Always  I  am  hearing  them.  Horsehem  coughs enough.  Annshee  lispes  privily.
—  He  is  quieter  now.
—  Legalentitled.  Accesstopartnuzz.  Notwildebeestsch.  By- rightofoaptz.  Twainbeonerflsh.  Haveandholdpp.
—  S !  Let  us  go.  Make  a  noise.  Slee  .  .  .
—  Qui .  .  .  The  gir  .  .  .
—  Huesofrichunfoldingmorn.  Wakenupriseandprove.  Pro- videforsacrifice.
—  Wait!  Hist!  Let  us  list!
For  our  netherworld's  bosomfoes  are  working  tooth  and  nail overtime:  in  earthveins,  toadcavites,  chessganglions,  saltkles-
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ters,  underfed:  nagging  firenibblers  knockling  aterman  up  out  of his  hinterclutch.  Tomb  be  their  tools!  When  the  youngdammers will  be  soon  heartpocking  on  their  betters'  doomoggers:  and  the youngfries  will  be  backfrisking  diamondcuts  over  their  lyingin underlayers,  spick  and  spat  trowelling  a  gravetrench  for  their fourinhand  forebears.  Vote  for  your  club !
—  Wait!
—  What!
—  Her  door!
—  Ope?
—  See!
—  What?
—  Careful.
—  Who?
Live  well!  Iniivdluaritzas !  Tone!
Cant  ear!  Her  dorters  ofe?  Whofe?  Her  eskmeno  daughters hope?  Whope?  Ellme,  elmme,  elskmestoon!  Soon! Let  us  consider.
The  procurator  Interrogarius  Mealterum  presends  us  this  pro- poser.
Honuphrius  is  a  concupiscent  exservicemajor  who  makes  dis- honest propositions  to  all.  He  is  considered  to  have  committed, invoking  droit  d'oreiller^  simple  infidelities  with  Felicia,  a  virgin, and  to  be  practising  for  unnatural  coits  with  Eugenius  and  Jere- mias,  two  or  three  philadelphians.  Honophrius,  Felicia,  Eugenius and  Jeremias  are  consanguineous  to  the  lowest  degree.  Anita the  wife  of  Honophrius,  has  been  told  by  her  tirewoman,  For- tissa,  that  Honuphrius  has  blasphemously  confessed  under  volun- tary chastisement  that  he  has  instructed  his  slave,  Mauritius,  to urge  Magravius,  a  commercial,  emulous  of  Honuphrius,  to  solicit the  chastity  of  Anita.  Anita  is  informed  by  some  illegitimate children  of  Fortissa  with  Mauritius  (the  supposition  is  Ware's) that  Gillia,  the  schismatical  wife  of  Magravius,  is  visited  clandes- tinely by  Barnabas,  the  advocate  of  Honuphrius,  an  immoral person  who  has  been  corrupted  by  Jeremias.  Gillia,  (a  cooler blend,  D'Alton  insists)  ex  equo  with  Poppea,  Arancita,  Clara,
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Marinuzza,  Indra  and  lodina,  has  been  tenderly  debauched (in  Halliday's  view),  by  Honuphrius,  and  Magravius  knows from  spies  that  Anita  has  formerly  committed  double  sacrilege with  Michael,  vulgo  Cerularius,  a  perpetual  curate,  who  wishes to  seduce  Eugenius.  Magravius  threatens  to  have  Anita  molested by  Sulla,  an  orthodox  savage  (and  leader  of  a  band  of  twelve mercenaries,  the  Sullivani),  who  desires  to  procure  Felicia  for Gregorius,  Leo,  Vitellius  and  Macdugalius,  four  excavators,  if she  will  not  yield  to  him  and  also  deceive  Honuphrius  by  ren- dering conjugal  duty  when  demanded.  Anita  who  claims  to  have discovered  incestuous  temptations  from  Jeremias  and  Eugenius would  yield  to  the  lewdness  of  Honuphrius  to  appease  the savagery  of  Sulla  and  the  mercernariness  of  the  twelve  Sullivani, and  (as  Gilbert  at  first  suggested),  to  save  the  virginity  of Felicia  for  Magravius  when  converted  by  Michael  after  the death  of  Gillia,  but  she  fears  that,  by  allowing  his  marital  rights she  may  cause  reprehensible  conduct  between  Eugenius  and Jeremias.  Michael,  who  has  formerly  debauched  Anita,  dispen- ses her  from  yielding  to  Honuphrius  who  pretends  publicly  to possess  his  conjunct  in  thirtynine  several  manners  {turpiter! affirm  ex  cathedris  Gerontes  Cambronses)  for  carnal  hygiene whenever  he  has  rendered  himself  impotent  to  consummate  by subdolence.  Anita  is  disturbed  but  Michael  comminates  that he  will  reserve  her  case  tomorrow  for  the  ordinary  Guglielmus even  if  she  should  practise  a  pious  fraud  during  afFrication which,  from  experience,  she  knows  (according  to  Wadding), to  be  leading  to  nullity.  Fortissa,  however,  is  encouraged  by Gregorius,  Leo,  Viteilius,  and  Magdugalius,  reunitedly,  to  warn Anita  by  describing  the  strong  chastisements  of  Honuphrius and  the  depravities  {turpissimasl)  of  Canicula,  the  deceased  wife of  Mauritius,  with  Sulla,  the  simoniac,  who  is  abnegand  and repents.  Has  he  hegemony  and  shall  she  submit.'^
Translate  a  lax,  you  breed  a  bradaun.  In  the  goods  of  Cape  and Chattertone,  deceased.
This,  lay  readers  and  gentilemen,  is  perhaps  the  commonest of  all  cases  arising  out  of  umbrella  history  in  connection  with
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the  wood  industries  in  our  courts  of  litigation.  D'Oyly  Owens holds  (though  Finn  Magnusson  of  himself  holds  also)  that  so long  as  there  is  a  joint  deposit  account  in  the  two  names  a mutual  obligation  is  posited.  Owens  cites  Brerfuchs  and  Warren, a  foreign  firm,  since  disseized,  registered  as  Tangos,  Limited, for  the  sale  of  certain  proprietary  articles.  The  action  which  was at  the  instance  of  the  trustee  of  the  heathen  church  emergency fund,  suing  by  its  trustee,  a  resigned  civil  servant,  for  the  pay- ment of  tithes  due  was  heard  by  Judge  Doyle  and  also  by  a  com- mon jury.  No  question  arose  as  to  the  debt  for  which  vouchers spoke  volumes.  The  defence  alleged  that  payment  had  been  made effective.  The  fund  trustee,  one  Jucundus  Fecundus  Xero  Pecun- dus  Coppercheap,  counterclaimed  that  payment  was  invalid having  been  tendered  to  creditor  under  cover  of  a  crossed  cheque, signed  in  the  ordinary  course,  in  the  name  of  Wieldhelm,  Hurls Cross,  voucher  copy  provided,  and  drawn  by  the  senior  partner only  by  whom  the  lodgment  of  the  species  had  been  effected  but in  their  joint  names.  The  bank  particularised,  the  national  misery (now  almost  entirely  in  the  hands  of  the  four  chief  bondholders for  value  in  Tangos),  declined  to  pay  the  draft,  though  there were  ample  reserves  to  meet  the  liability,  whereupon  the  trusty Coppercheap  negociated  it  for  and  on  behalf  of  the  fund  of  the thing  to  a  client  of  his,  a  notary,  from  whom,  on  consideration,  he received  in  exchange  legal  relief  as  between  trusthee  and  bethrust, with  thanks.  Since  then  the  cheque,  a  good  washable  pink,  em- bossed D  you  D  No  1 1  hundred  and  thirty  2,  good  for  the  figure and  face,  had  been  circulating  in  the  country  for  over  thirtynine years  among  holders  of  Pango  stock,  a  rival  concern,  though  not one  demonetised  farthing  had  ever  spun  or  fluctuated  across  the counter  in  the  semblance  of  hard  coin  or  liquid  cash.  The  jury  (a sour  dozen  of  stout  fellows  all  of  whom  were  curiously  named after  doyles)  naturally  disagreed  jointly  and  severally,  and  the belligerent  judge,  disagreeing  with  the  allied  jurors'  disagree- ment, went  outside  his  jurisfiction  altogether  and  ordered  a  gar- nishee attachment  to  the  neutral  firm.  No  mandamus  could  lo- cate the  depleted  whilom  Breyfawkes  as  he  had  entered  into  an
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ancient  moratorium,  dating  back  to  the  times  of  the  early  barters, and  only  the  junior  partner  Barren  could  be  found,  who  entered  an appearance  and  turned  up,  upon  a  notice  of  motion  and  after  service of  the  motion  by  interlocutory  injunction,  among  the  male  jurors to  be  an  absolete  turfwoman,  originally  from  the  proletarian  class, with  still  a  good  title  to  her  sexname  of  Ann  Doyle,  2  Coppinger's Cottages,  the  Doyle's  country.  Doyle  (Ann),  add  woman  in, having  regretfully  left  the  juryboxers,  protested  cheerfully  on  the stand  in  a  long  jurymiad  in  re  corset  checks,  delivered  in  doy- lish,  that  she  had  often,  in  supply  to  brusk  demands  rising  almost to  bollion  point,  discounted  Mr  Brakeforth's  first  of  all  in  ex- change at  nine  months  from  date  without  issue  and,  to  be  strictly literal,  unbottled  in  corrubberation  a  current  account  of  how she  had  been  made  at  sight  for  services  rendered  the  payee- drawee  of  unwashable  blank  assignations,  sometimes  pinkwilliams (laughter)  but  more  often  of  the  creme-de-citroriy  vair  email  paon- coque  or  marshmallow  series,  which  she,  as  bearer,  used  to  en- dorse, adhesively,  to  her  various  payers-drawers  who  in  most  cases were  identified  by  the  timber  papers  as  wellknown  tetigists  of  the city  and  suburban.  The  witness,  at  her  own  request,  asked  if  she might  and  wrought  something  between  the  sheets  of  music  paper which  she  had  accompanied  herself  with  for  the  occasion  and this  having  been  handed  up  for  the  bench  to  look  at  in  camera^ Coppinger's  doll,  as  she  was  called,  (anniasy  Mack  Erse's  Dar, the  adopted  child)  then  proposed  to  jerrykin  and  jureens  and  every jim,  jock  and  jarry  in  that  little  green  courtinghousie  for  her  satis- faction and  as  a  whole  act  of  settlement  to  reamalgamate  herself, tomorrow  perforce,  in  pardonership  with  the  permanent  suing  fond trustee,  Monsignore  Pepigi,  under  the  new  style  of  Will  Break- fast and  Sparrem,  as,  when  all  his  cognisances  had  been  estreated, he  seemed  to  proffer  the  steadiest  interest  towards  her,  but  this prepoposal  was  ruled  out  on  appeal  by  Judge  JeremyDoyler,  who, reserving  judgment  in  a  matter  of  courts  and  reversing  the  find- ings of  the  lower  correctional,  found,  beyond  doubt  of  treuson, fending  the  dissassents  of  the  pickpackpanel,  twelve  as  upright judaces  as  ever  let  down  their  thoms,  and,  occupante  extremum
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scabie^  handed  down  to  the  jury  of  the  Liffey  that,  as  a  matter  of tact,  the  woman  they  gave  as  free  was  born  into  contractual  in- capacity (the  Calif  of  Man  v  the  Eaudelusk  Company)  when,  how and  where  mamy's  mancipium  act  did  not  apply  and  therefore  held supremely  that,  as  no  property  in  law  can  exist  in  a  corpse, (Hal  Kilbride  v  Una  Bellina)  Pepigi's  pact  was  pure  piffle  (loud laughter)  and  Wharrem  would  whistle  for  the  rhino.  Will  you, won't  you,  pango  with  Pepigi?  Not  for  Nancy,  how  dare  you  do! And  whew  whewwhew  whew.
—  He  sighed  in  sleep.
—  Let  us  go  back.
—  Lest  he  forewaken.
—  Hide  ourselves.
While  hovering  dreamwings,  folding  around,  will  hide  from fears  my  wee  mee  mannikin,  keep  my  big  wig  long  strong  mano- men,  guard  my  bairn,  mon  beau,
—  To  bed.
Prospector  projector  and  boomooster  giant  builder  of  all causeways  woesoever,  hopping  offpoint  and  true  terminus  of straxstraightcuts  and  corkscrewn  perambulaups,  zeal  whence  to goal  whither,  wonderlust,  in  sequence  to  which  every  muckle must  make  its  mickle,  as  different  as  York  from  Leeds,  being  the only  wise  in  a  muck's  world  to  look  on  itself  from  beforehand; mirrorminded  curiositease  and  would-to-the-large  which  bring hills  to  molehunter,  home  through  first  husband,  perils  behind swine  and  horsepower  down  to  hungerford,  prick  this  man  and tittup  this  woman,  our  forced  payrents.  Bogy  Bobow  with  his cunnyngnest  couchmare.  Big  Maester  Finnykin  with  Phenicia Parkes,  lame  of  his  ear  and  gape  of  her  leg,  most  correctingly, we  beseach  of  you,  down  their  laddercase  of  nightwatch  service and  bring  them  at  suntime  fiush  with  the  nethermost  gangrung of  their  stepchildren,  guide  them  through  the  labyrinth  of  their samilikes  and  the  alteregoases  of  their  pseudoselves,  hedge  them bothways  from  all  roamers  whose  names  are  ligious,  from  loss of  bearings  deliver  them;  so  they  keep  to  their  rights  and  be ware  of  duty  frees,  neoliffic  smith  and  magdalenian  jinnyjones,
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I
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I
mandragon  mor  and  weak  wifFeyducky,  Morionmale  and  Thry- dacianmad,  basilisk  glorious  with  his  weeniequeenie,  tigernack and  swansgrace,  he  as  hale  as  his  ardouries,  she  as  verve  as  her veines;  this  prime  white  arsenic  with  bissemate  alloyed,  martial sin  with  peccadilly,  free  to  lease  hold  with  first  mortgage,  dow- ser dour  and  dipper  douce,  stop-that-war  and  feel-this-feather, norsebloodheartened  and  landsmoolwashable,  great  gas  with fun-in-the-corner,  grand  slam  with  fall-of-the-trick,  solomn  one and  shebby,  cod  and  coney,  cash  and  carry,  in  all  we  dreamed the  part  we  dreaded,  corsair  coupled  with  his  dame,  royal  biber but  constant  lymph,  boniface  and  bonnyfeatures,  nazil  hose  and river  mouth,  bang-the-change  and  batter-the-bolster,  big  smoke and  lickleyroesthy,  humanity's  fahrman  by  society  leader,  voguener and  trulley,  bumpered  and  elf,  Urloughmoor  with  Miryburrow, leaks  and  awfully,  basal  curse  yet  grace  abunda.  Regies  Producer with  screendoll  Vedette,  peg  of  his  claim  and  pride  of  her  heart, clifFscaur  grisly  but  rockdove  cooing,  hodinstag  on  fryggabet, baron  and  feme:  that  he  may  dishcover  her,  that  she  may  uncouple him,  that  one  may  come  and  crumple  them,  that  they  may  soon recoup  themselves:  now  and  then,  time  on  time  again,  as  per periodicity;  from  Neaves  to  Willses,  from  Bushmills  to  Enos;  to Goerz  from  Harleem,  to  Hearths  of  Oak  from  Skittish  Widdas; via  mala,  hyber  pass,  heckhisway  per  alptrack:  through  lands- vague  and  vain,  after  many  mandelays:  in  their  first  case,  to  the next  place,  till  their  cozenkerries:  the  high  and  the  by,  both  pent and  plain:  cross  cowslips  yillow,  yellow,  yallow,  past  pumpkins pinguind,  purplesome:  be  they  whacked  to  the  wide  other  tied to  hustings,  long  sizzleroads  neath  arthruseat,  him  to  the  derby, her  to  toun,  til  sengentide  do  coddlam:  in  the  grounds  or  unter- linnen:  rue  to  lose  and  ca  canny:  at  shipside,  by  convent  garden: monk  and  sempstress,  in  sackcloth  silkily:  curious  dreamers, curious  dramas,  curious  deman,  plagiast  dayman,  playajest dearest,  plaguiest  dourest:  for  the  strangfort  planters  are  pro- desting,  and  the  karkery  felons  dryflooring  it  and  the  leperties' laddos  railing  the  way,  blump  for  slogo  slee !
Stop!  Did  a  stir?  No,  is  fast.  On  to  bed!  So  he  is.  It's  only  the
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wind  on  the  road  outside  for  to  wake  all  shivering  shanks  from snorring.
But.  Oom  Godd  his  villen,  who  will  he  be,  this  mitryman,  some king  of  the  yeast,  in  his  chrismy  greyed  brunzewig,  with  the  snow in  his  mouth  and  the  Caspian  asthma,  so  bulk  of  build?  Relics  of pharrer  and  livite!  Dik  Gill,  Tum  Lung  or  Macfinnan's  cool Harryng?  He  has  only  his  hedcosycasket  on  and  his  wollsey shirtplisse  with  peascod  doublet,  also  his  feet  wear  doubled  width socks  for  he  always  must  to  insure  warm  sleep  between  a  pair  of fuUyfleeced  bankers  like  a  finnoc  in  a  cauwl.  Can  thus  be  Misthra Norkmann  that  keeps  our  hotel?  Begor,  Mr  0*Sorgmann,  you're looking  right  well!  Hecklar's  champion  ethnicist.  How  deft  as  a fuchser  schouws  daft  as  a  fish!  He's  the  dibble's  own  doges  for doublin  existents!  But  a  jolly  fine  daysent  form  of  one  word. He's  rounding  up  on  his  family.
And  who  is  the  bodikin  by  him,  sir?  So  voulzievalsshie?  With ybbs  and  zabs?  Her  trixiestrail  is  tripping  her,  vop!  Luck  at  the way  for  the  lucre  of  smoke  she's  looping  the  lamp !  Why,  that's old  missness  wipethemdry!  Well,  well,  wellsowells!  Donau- watter!  Ardechious  me!  With  her  half  bend  as  proud  as  a  peahen, allabalmy,  and  her  troutbeck  quiverlipe,  ninyananya.  And  her steptojazyma's  culunder  buzztle.  Happy  tea  area,  naughtygay frew!  Selling  sunlit  sopes  to  washtout  winches  and  rhaincold draughts  to  the  props  of  his  pubs.  She  tired  lipping  the  swells  at Pont  Delisle  till  she  jumped  the  boom  at  Brounemouth.  Now she's  horrid  his  head  under  Hatesbury's  Hatch  and  loamed  his fate  to  old  Love  Lane.  And  she's  just  the  same  old  haporth  of dripping.  She's  even  brennt  her  hair.
Which  route  are  they  going?  Why?  Angell  sitter  or  Amen Corner,  Norwood's  South  walk  or  Euston  Waste?  The  solvent man  in  his  upper  gambeson  withnot  a  breth  against  him  and  the wee  wiping  womanahoussy.  They're  coming  terug  their  dia- mond wedding  tour,  giant's  inchly  elfkin's  ell,  vesting  their  char- acters vixendevolment,  andens  aller,  athors  err,  our  first  day  man and  your  dresser  and  mine,  that  Luxuumburgher  evec  cettehis Alzette,  konyglik  shire  with  his  queensh  countess,  Stepney's
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shipchild  with  the  waif  of  his  bosun,  Dunmow's  flitcher  with duck-on-the-rock,  down  the  scales,  the  way  they  went  up, under  talis  and  threading  tormentors,  shunning  the  startraps  and slipping  in  sliders,  risking  a  runway,  ruing  reveals,  from  Elder Arbor  to  La  Puiree,  eskipping  the  clockback,  crystal  in  carbon, sweetheartedly.  Hot  and  cold  and  electrickery  with  attendance and  lounge  and  promenade  free.  In  spite  of  all  that  science  could boot  or  art  could  eke.  Bolt  the  grinden.  Cave  and  can  em. Single  wrecks  for  the  weak,  double  axe  for  the  mail,  and  quick queck  quack  for  the  radiose.  Renove  that  bible.  You  will  never have  post  in  your  pocket  unless  you  have  brasse  on  your  plate. Beggards  outdoor.  Goat  to  the  Endth,  thou  slowguard!  Mind the  Monks  and  their  Grasps.  Scrape  your  souls.  Commit  no miracles.  Postpone  no  bills.  Respect  the  uniform.  Hold  the  raa- bers  for  the  kunning  his  plethoron.  Let  leash  the  dooves  to  the cooin  her  coynth.  Hatenot  havenots.  Share  the  wealth  and  spoil the  weal.  Peg  the  pound  to  tom  the  devil.  My  time  is  on  draught. Bottle  your  own.  Love  my  label  like  myself.  Earn  before  eating. Drudge  after  drink.  Credit  tomorrow.  Follow  my  dealing.  Fetch my  price.  Buy  not  from  dives.  Sell  not  to  freund.  Herenow  chuck english  and  learn  to  pray  plain.  Lean  on  your  lunch.  No  cods before  Me.  Practise  preaching.  Think  in  your  stomach.  Import through  the  nose.  By  faith  alone.  Season's  weather.  Gomorrha. Salong.  Lots  feed  from  my  tidetable.  Oil's  wells  in  our  lands.  Let earwigger's  wivable  teach  you  the  dance!
Now  their  laws  assist  them  and  ease  their  fall!
For  they  met  and  mated  and  bedded  and  buckled  and  got  and gave  and  reared  and  raised  and  brought  Thawland  within  Har danger,  and  turned  them,  tarrying  to  the  sea  and  planted  and plundered  and  pawned  our  souls  and  pillaged  the  pounds  of  the extramurals  and  fought  and  feigned  with  strained  relations  and bequeathed  us  their  ills  and  recrutched  cripples  gait  and  under- mined lungachers,  manplanting  seven  sisters  while  wan  warm- wooed  woman  scrubbs,  and  turned  out  coats  and  removed  their origins  and  never  learned  the  first  day's  lesson  and  tried  to mingle  and  managed  to  save  and  feathered  foes'  nests  and  fouled
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their  own  and  wayleft  the  arenotts  and  ponted  vodavalls  for  the zollgebordened  and  escaped  from  liquidation  by  the  heirs  of  their death  and  were  responsible  for  congested  districts  and  rolled oiled  logs  into  Peter's  sawyery  and  werfed  new  woodcuts  on Paoli's  wharf  and  ewesed  Rachel's  lea  and  rammed  Dominic's gap  and  looked  haggards  after  lazatables  and  rode  fourscore  odd- winters  and  struck  rock  oil  and  forced  a  policeman  and  col- laughsed  at  their  phizes  in  Toobiassed  and  Zachary  and  left  off leaving  off  and  kept  on  keeping  on  and  roused  up  drink  and poured  balm  down  and  were  cuffed  by  their  customers  and  bit the  dust  at  the  foot  of  the  poll  when  in  her  deergarth  he  gave  up his  goat  after  the  battle  of  Multaferry.  Pharoah  with  fairy,  two lie,  let  them!  Yet  they  wend  it  back,  qual  his  leif,  himmertality, bullseaboob  and  rivishy  divil,  light  in  hand,  helm  on  high,  to peekaboo  durk  the  thicket  of  slumbwhere,  till  their  hour  with their  scene  be  struck  for  ever  and  the  book  of  the  dates  he  close, he  clasp  and  she  and  she  seegn  her  tour  d'adieu,  Pervinca  calling, Soloscar  hears.  (O  Sheem!  O  Shaam!),  and  gentle  Isad  Ysut  gag, flispering  in  the  nightleaves  flattery,  dinsiduously,  to  Finnegan, to  sin  again  and  to  make  grim  grandma  grunt  and  grin  again while  the  first  grey  streaks  steal  silvering  by  for  to  mock  their quarrels  in  dollymount  tumbling.
They  near  the  base  of  the  chill  stair,  that  large  incorporate licensed  vintner,  such  as  he  is,  from  former  times,  nine  hosts  in himself,  in  his  hydrocomic  establishment  and  his  ambling  limfy peepingpartner,  the  slave  of  the  ring  that  worries  the  hand  that sways  the  lamp  that  shadows  the  walk  that  bends  to  his  bane  the busynext  man  that  came  on  the  cop  with  the  fenian's  bark  that pickled  his  widow  that  primed  the  pope  that  passed  it  round  on the  volunteers'  plate  till  it  croppied  the  ears  of  Purses  Relle  that kneed  O'Connell  up  out  of  his  doss  that  shouldered  Burke  that butted  O'Hara  that  woke  the  busker  that  grattaned  his  crowd that  bucked  the  jiggers  to  rhyme  the  rann  that  flooded  the  routes in  Eryan's  isles  from  Malin  to  Clear  and  Carnsore  Point  to  Slyna- gollow  and  cleaned  the  pockets  and  ransomed  the  ribs  of  all  the listeners,  leud  and  lay,  that  bought  the  ballad  that  Hosty  made.
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[i
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Anyhow  (the  matter  is  a  troublous  and  a  peniloose)  have  they not  called  him  at  many's  their  mock  indignation  meeting,  veh- men's  vengeance  vective  volleying,  inwader  and  uitlander,  the notables,  crashing  libels  in  their  suUivan's  mounted  beards  about him,  their  right  renownsable  patriarch?  Heinz  cans  everywhere and  the  swanee  her  ainsell  and  Eyrewaker's  family  sock  that  they smuggled  to  life  betune  them,  roaring  (Big  Reilly  was  the  worst): free  boose  for  the  man  from  the  nark,  sure,  he  never  was  worth a  cornerwall  fark,  and  his  banishee's  bedpan  she's  a  quareold  bite of  a  tark:  as  they  wendelled  their  zingaway  wivewards  from  his find  me  cooFs  moist  opulent  vinery,  highjacking  through  the nagginneck  pass,  as  they  hauled  home  with  their  hogsheads, axpoxtelating,  and  claiming  cowled  consollation,  sursumcordial, from  the  bluefunkfires  of  the  dipper  and  the  martian's  frost?
Use  they  not,  our  noesmall  termtraders,  to  abhors  offrom him,  the  yet  unregendered  thunderslog,  whose  sbrogue  cunneth none  lordmade  undersiding,  how  betwixt  wifely  rule  and  mens conscia  recti^  then  hemale  man  all  unbracing  to  omniwomen,  but now  shedropping  his  hitches  like  any  maidavale  oppersite  orse- riders  in  an  idinhole?  Ah,  dearo!  Dearo,  dear!  And  her  illian! And  his  willyum !  When  they  were  all  there  now,  matinmarked for  lookin  on.  At  the  carryfour  with  awlus  plawshus,  their  happy- ass  cloudious!  And  then  and  too  the  tri vials!  And  their  bivouac! And  his  monomyth!  Ah  ho!  Say  no  more  about  it!  Fm  sorry! I  saw.  I'm  sorry!  Fm  sorry  to  say  I  saw!
Gives  there  not  too  amongst  us  after  all  events  (or  so  grunts a  leading  hebdromadary)  some  togethergush  of  stillandbutall- youknow  that,  insofarforth  as,  all  up  and  down  the  whole  con- creation  say,  efficient  first  gets  there  finally  every  time,  as  a  com- plex matter  of  pure  form,  for  those  excess  and  that  pasphault hardhearingness  from  their  eldfar,  in  grippes  and  rumblions, through  fresh  taint  and  old  treason,  another  like  that  alter  but not  quite  such  anander  and  stillandbut  one  not  all  the  selfsame and  butstillone  just  the  maim  and  encore  emmerhim  may  always, with  a  little  difference,  till  the  latest  up  to  date  so  early  in  the morning,  have  evertheless  been  allmade  amenable?
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Yet  he  begottom.
Let  us  wherefore,  tearing  ages,  presently  preposterose  a snatchvote  of  thanksalot  to  the  huskiest  coaxing  experimenter that  ever  gave  his  best  hand  into  chancerisk,  wishing  him  with his  famblings  no  end  of  slow  poison  and  a  mighty  broad  venue for  themselves  between  the  deviFs  punchbowl  and  the  deep angleseaboard,  that  they  may  gratefully  turn  a  deaf  ear  clooshed upon  the  desperanto  of  willynully,  their  shareholders  from  Taaffe to  Auliffe,  that  will  curse  them  below  par  and  mar  with  their descendants,  shame,  humbug  and  profit,  to  greenmould  upon mildew  over  jaundice  as  long  as  ever  there's  wagtail  surtaxed  to a  testcase  on  enver  a  man.
We  have  to  had  them  whether  we'll  like  it  or  not.  They'll  have to  have  us  now  then  we're  here  on  theirspot.  Scant  hope  theirs or  ours  to  escape  life's  high  carnage  of  semperidentity  by  sub- sisting peasemeal  upon  variables.  Bloody  certainly  have  we  got to  see  to  it  ere  smellful  demise  surprends  us  on  this  concrete  that down  the  gullies  of  the  eras  we  may  catch  ourselves  looking forward  to  what  will  in  no  time  be  staring  you  larrikins  on  the postface  in  that  multimirror  megaron  of  returningties,  whirled without  end  to  end.  So  there  was  a  raughty  .  .  .  who  in  Dyfflins- borg  did  . . .  With  his  soddering  iron,  spadeaway,  hammerlegs and  . . .  Where  there  was  a  fair  young  .  .  .  Who  was  playing  her game  of .  .  .  And  said  she  you  rockaby  .  .  .  Will  you  peddle  in my  bog  .  .  .  And  he  sod  her  in  larland,  paved  her  way  from Maizenhead  to  Youghal.  And  that's  how  Humpfrey,  champion emir,  holds  his  own.  Shysweet,  she  rests.
Or  show  pon  him  now,  will  you !  Derg  rudd  face  should  take Patrick's  purge.  Hokoway,  in  his  hiphigh  bearserk!  Third  posi- tion of  concord!  Excellent  view  from  front.  Sidome.  Female imperfectly  masking  male.  Redspot  his  browbrand.  Woman's the  prey!  Thon's  the  dullakeykongsbyogblagroggerswagginline (private  judgers,  change  here  for  Lootherstown!  Onlyromans, keep  your  seats !)  that  drew  all  ladies  please  to  our  great  mettroll- ops.  Leary,  leary,  twentytun  nearly,  he's  plotting  kings  down for  his  villa's  extension!  Gaze  at  him  now  in  momentum!  As  his
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bridges  are  blown  to  babbyrags,  by  the  lee  of  his  hulk  upright on  her  orbits,  and  the  heave  of  his  juniper  arx  in  action,  he's naval  I  see.  Poor  little  tartanelle,  her  dinties  are  chattering,  the strait's  she's  in,  the  bulloge  she  bears!  Her  smirk  is  smeeching behind  for  her  hills.  By  the  queer  quick  twist  of  her  mobcap  and the  lift  of  her  shift  at  random  and  the  rate  of  her  gate  of  going the  pace,  two  thinks  at  a  time,  her  country  I'm  proud  of.  The field  is  down,  the  race  is  their  own.  The  galleonman  jovial  on  his bucky  brown  nightmare.  Bigrob  dignagging  his  lylyputtana. One  to  one  bore  one!  The  datter,  io,  io,  sleeps  in  peace,  in  peace. And  the  twillingsons,  ganymede,  garrymore,  turn  in  trot  and trot.  But  old  pairamere  goes  it  a  gallop,  a  gallop.  Bossford  and phospherine.  One  to  one  on!
O,  O,  her  fairy  setalite!  Casting  such  shadows  to  Persia's blind!  The  man  in  the  street  can  see  the  coming  event.  Photo- flashing  it  far  too  wide.  It  will  be  known  through  all  Urania  soon. Like  jealousjoy  titaning  fear;  like  rumour  rhean  round  the  planets; like  china's  dragon  snapping  japets;  like  rhodagrey  up  the  east. Satyrdaysboost  besets  Phoebe's  nearest.  Here's  the  flood  and  the flaxen  flood  that's  to  come  over  helpless  Irryland.  Is  there  no-one to  malahide  Liv  and  her  bettyship.^  Or  who'll  buy  her  rosebuds, jettyblack  rosebuds,  ninsloes  of  nivia,  nonpaps  of  nan.'^  From  the fall  of  the  fig  to  doom's  last  post  every  ephemeral  anniversary  while the  park's  police  peels  peering  by  for  to  weight  down  morrals  from county  bubblin.  That  trainer's  trundling!  Quick,  pay  up!
Kickakick.  She  had  to  kick  a  laugh.  At  her  old  stick-in-the- block.  The  way  he  was  slogging  his  paunch  about,  elbiduubled, meet  oft  mate  on,  like  hale  King  Willow,  the  robberer.  Cain- maker's  mace  and  waxened  capapee.  But  the  tarrant's  brand  on his  hottoweyt  brow.  At  half  past  quick  in  the  morning.  And  her lamp  was  all  askew  and  a  trumbly  wick-in-her,  ringeysingey. She  had  to  spofforth,  she  had  to  kicker,  too  thick  of  the  wick of  her  pixy's  loomph,  wide  lickering  jessup  the  smooky  shiminey. And  her  dufled  coverpoint  of  a  wickedy  batter,  whenever  she druv  behind  her  stumps  for  a  tyddlesly  wink  through  his  tunnil- clefft  bagslops  after  the  rising  bounder's  yorkers,  as  he  studd  and
583
Stoddard  and  trutted  and  trumpered,  to  see  had  lordherry's blackham's  red  bobby  abbels,  it  tickled  her  innings  to  consort pitch  at  kicksolock  in  the  morm.  Tipatonguing  him  on  in  her pigeony  linguish,  with  a  flick  at  the  bails  for  lubrication,  to  scorch her  faster,  faster.  Ye  hek,  ye  hok,  ye  hucky  hiremonger !  Magrath he's  my  pegger,  he  is,  for  bricking  up  all  my  old  kent  road. He'll  win  your  toss,  flog  your  old  tom's  bowling  and  I  darr  ye, barrackybuller,  to  break  his  duck!  He's  posh.  I  lob  him.  We're parring  all  Oogster  till  the  empsyseas  run  googlie.  Declare  to ashes  and  teste  his  metch!  Three  for  two  will  do  for  me  and  he for  thee  and  she  for  you.  Goeasyosey,  for  the  grace  of  the  fields, or  hooley  pooley,  cuppy,  we'll  both  be  bye  and  by  caught  in  the slips  for  fear  he'd  tyre  and  burst  his  dunlops  and  waken  her bornybarnies  making  his  boobybabies.  The  game  old  merri- mynn,  square  to  leg,  with  his  lolleywide  towelhat  and  his  hobbsy socks  and  his  wisden's  bosse  and  his  norsery  pinafore  and  his gentleman's  grip  and  his  playaboy's  plunge  and  his  flannelly feelyfooling,  treading  her  hump  and  hambledown  like  a  maiden wellheld,  ovalled  over,  with  her  crease  where  the  pads  of  her punishments  ought  to  be  by  womanish  rights  when,  keek,  the  hen in  the  doran's  shanty  queer  began  in  a  kikkery  key  to  laugh  it off,  yeigh,  yeigh,  neigh,  neigh,  the  way  she  was  wuck  to  doodle- doo  by  her  gallows  bird  (how's  that?  Noball,  he  carries  his  bat!) nine  hundred  and  dirty  too  not  out,  at  all  times  long  past  con- quering cock  of  the  morgans.
How  blame  us.'^
Cocorico!
Armigerend  everfasting  horde.  Rico !  So  the  bill  to  the  bowe. As  the  belle  to  the  beau.  We  herewith  pleased  returned  auditors' thanks  for  those  and  their  favours  since  safely  enjoined.  Coco- ree!  Tellaman  tillamie.  Tubbernacul  in  tipherairy,  sons,  travel- lers in  company  and  their  carriageable  tochters,  tanks  tight  anne thynne  for  her  contractations  tugowards  his  personeel.  Echo, choree  chorecho!  O  I  you  O  you  me!  Well,  we  all  unite  thought- fully in  rendering  gratias,  well,  between  loves  repassed,  begging your  honour's  pardon  for,  well,  exclusive  pigtorial  rights  of  here-
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hear  fond  tiplady  his  weekreations,  appearing  in  next  eon's  issue of  the  Neptune's  Centinel  and  Tritonville  Lightowler  with  well the  widest  circulation  round  the  whole  universe.  Echolo  choree choroh  choree  chorico !  How  me  O  my  youhou  my  I  youtou  to 10?  Thanks  furthermore  to  modest  Miss  Glimglow  and  neat Master  Mettresson  who  so  kindly  profiteered  their  serwishes  as demysell  of  honour  and,  well,  as  strainbearer  respectively. And  a  cordiallest  brief  nod  of  chinchin  dankyshin  to,  well,  patient ringasend  as  prevenient  (by  your  leave),  to  all  such  occasions, detachably  replaceable  (thanks  too!  twos  intact!).  As  well  as his  auricular  of  Malthus,  the  promethean  paratonnerwetter  which first  (Pray  go!  pray  go!)  taught  love's  lightning  the  way  (pity shown)  to,  well,  conduct  itself  (mercy,  good  shot!  only  please don't  mention  it!).  Come  all  ye  goatfathers  and  groanmothers, come  all  ye  markmakers  and  piledrivers,  come  all  ye  labour- saving  devisers  and  chargeleyden  dividends,  firefinders,  water- workers,  deeply  condeal  with  him!  All  that  is  still  life  with  death inyeborn,  all  verbumsaps  yet  bound  to  be,  to  do  and  to  suffer, every  creature,  everywhere,  if  you  please,  kindly  feel  for  her! While  the  dapplegray  dawn  drags  nearing  nigh  for  to  wake  all droners  that  drowse  in  Dublin.
Humperfeldt  and  Anunska,  wedded  now  evermore  in  annas- tomoses  by  a  ground  plan  of  the  placehunter,  whiskered  beau and  donahbella.  Totumvir  and  esquimeena,  who  so  shall  sepa- rate fetters  to  new  desire,  repeals  an  act  of  union  to  unite  in bonds  of  schismacy.  O  yes!  O  yes!  Withdraw  your  member! Closure.  This  chamber  stands  abjourned.  Such  precedent  is largely  a  cause  to  lack  of  collective  continencies  among  Don- nelly's orchard  as  lifelong  the  shadyside  to  Fairbrother's  field. Humbo,  lock  your  kekkle  up!  Anny,  blow  your  wickle  out! Tuck  away  the  tablesheet!  You  never  wet  the  tea!  And  you may  go  rightoway  back  to  your  Aunty  Dilluvia,  Humprey, after  that!
Retire  to  rest  without  first  misturbing  your  nighboor,  man- kind of  baffling  descriptions.  Others  are  as  tired  of  themselves as  you  are.  Let  each  one  learn  to  bore  himself.  It  is  strictly  re-
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quested  that  no  cobsmoking,  spitting,  pubchat,  wrastle  rounds, coarse  courting,  smut,  etc,  will  take  place  amongst  those  hours so  devoted  to  repose.  Look  before  behind  before  you  strip  you. Disrobe  clothed  in  the  strictest  secrecy  which  privacy  can  afford. Water  non  to  be  discharged  coram  grate  or  ex  window.  Never divorce  in  the  bedding  the  glove  that  will  give  you  away.  Maid Maud  ninnies  nay  but  blabs  to  Omama  (for  your  life,  would  you!) she  to  her  bosom  friend  who  does  all  chores  (and  what  do  you think  my  Madeleine  saw?):  this  ignorant  mosdy  sweeps  it  out along  with  all  the  rather  old  corporators  (have  you  heard  of  one humbled  own  jungleman  how  he  bet  byrn-and-bushe  playing peg  and  pom?):  the  maudlin  river  then  gets  its  dues  (adding  a din  a  ding  or  do):  thence  those  laundresses  (O,  muddle  me  more about  the  maggies!  I  mean  bawnee  Madge  Ellis  and  brownie Mag  Dillon).  Attention  at  all!  Every  ditcher's  dastard  in  Dupling will  let  us  know  about  it  if  you  have  paid  the  mulctman  by whether  your  rent  is  open  to  be  foreclosed  or  aback  in  your arrears.  This  is  seriously  meant.  Here  is  a  homelet  not  a  hothel. That's  right,  old  oldun!
All  in  fact  is  soon  as  all  of  old  right  as  anywas  ever  in  very old  place.  Were  he,  hwen  scalded  of  that  couverfowl,  to  beat  the bounds  by  here  at  such  a  point  of  time  as  this  is  for  at  sammel up  all  wood's  haypence  and  riviers  argent  (half  back  from  three gangs  multaplussed  on  a  twentylot  add  allto  a  fiver  with  the deuce  or  roamer's  numbers  ell  a  fee  and  do  little  ones)  with  the caboosh  on  him  opheld  for  thrushes'  mistiles  yet  singing  oud  his parasangs  in  cornish  token:  mean  fawthery  eastend  appullcelery, old  laddy  he  high  hole:  pollysigh  patrolman  Seekersenn,  towney's tanquam,  crumlin  quiet  down  from  his  hoonger,  he  would  mac siccar  of  inket  goodsforetombed  ereshiningem  of  light  turkling eitheranny  of  thuncle's  windopes.  More,  unless  we  were  neverso wrongtaken,  if  he  brought  his  boots  to  pause  in  peace,  the  one beside  the  other  one,  right  on  the  road,  he  would  seize  no  sound from  cache  or  cave  beyond  the  flow  of  wand  was  gypsing  water, telling  him  now,  telling  him  all,  all  about  ham  and  livery,  stay and  toast  ham  in  livery,  and  buttermore  with  murmurladen,  to
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waker  oats  for  him  on  livery.  Faurore!  Fearhoure!  At  last  it past!  Loab  at  cod  then  herrin  or  wind  thin  mong  them  treen.
Hiss!  Which  we  had  only  our  hazelight  to  see  with,  cert,  in our  point  of  view,  me  and  my  auxy,  Jimmy  d'Arcy,  hadn't  we, Jimmy?  —  Who  to  seen  with?  Kiss!  No  kidd,  captn,  which  he stood  us,  three  jolly  postboys,  first  a  couple  of  Mountjoys  and nutty  woodbines  with  his  cadbully's  choculars,  pepped  from  our Theoatre  Regal's  drolleries  puntomine,  in  the  snug  at  the  Cam- bridge Arms  of  Teddy  Ales  while  we  was  laying,  crown  jewels to  a  peanut,  was  he  stepmarm,  old  noseheavy,  or  a  wouldower, which  he  said,  lads,  a  taking  low  his  Whitby  hat,  lopping  off  the froth  and  whishing,  with  all  respectfulness  to  the  old  country, tomorow  comrades,  we,  his  long  life's  strength  and  cuirscrween loan  to  our  allhallowed  king,  the  pitchur  that  he's  turned  to weld  the  wall,  (Lawd  lengthen  him!)  his  standpoint  was, to  belt  and  blucher  him  afore  the  hole  pleading  churchal  and submarine  bar  yonder  but  he  made  no  class  at  all  in  port and  cemented  palships  between  our  trucers,  being  a  refugee, didn't  he,  Jimmy?  —  Who  true  to  me?  Sish!  Honeysuckler, that's  what  my  young  lady  here,  Fred  Watkins,  bugler  Fred,  all the  ways  from  Melmoth  in  Natal,  she  calls  him,  dip  the  colours, pet,  when  he  commit  his  certain  questions  vivaviz  the  secret empire  of  the  snake  which  it  was  on  a  point  of  our  sutton  down, how  was  it,  Jimmy?  —  Who  has  sinnerettes  to  declare?  Phiss ! Touching  our  Phoenix  Rangers'  nuisance  at  the  meeting  of  the waitresses,  the  daintylines,  Elsies  from  Chelsies,  the  two  leggle- gels  in  blooms,  and  those  pest  of  parkies,  twitch,  thistle  and charlock,  were  they  for  giving  up  their  fogging  trespasses by  order  which  we  foregathered  he  must  be  raw  in  cane sugar,  the  party,  no,  Jimmy  MacCawthelock?  Who  trespass against  me?  Briss!  That's  him  wiv  his  wig  on,  achewing  of  his maple  gum,  that's  our  grainpopaw.  Mister  Beardall,  an  accom- pliced  burgomaster,  a  great  one  among  the  very  greatest,  which he  told  us  privates  out  of  his  own  scented  mouf  he  used  to  was, my  lads,  afore  this  wineact  come,  what  say,  our  Jimmy  the chapelgoer?  — Who  fears  all  masters!  Hi,  Jocko  Nowlong,  my
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own  sweet  boosy  love,  which  he  puts  his  feeler  to  me  behind the  beggar's  bush,  does  Freda,  don't  you  be  an  emugee!  Carry- one,  he  says,  though  we  marooned  through  this  woylde.  We must  spy  a  half  a  hind  on  honeysuckler  now  his  old  face's hardalone  wiv  his  defences  down  during  his  wappin  stillstand, says  my  Fred,  and  Jamessime  here  which,  pip  it,  she  simply  must, she  says,  our  pet,  she'll  do  a  retroussy  from  her  point  of  view (Way  you  fly!  Like  a  frush!)  to  keep  her  flouncies  off  the grass  while  paying  the  wetmenots  a  musichall  visit  and  pair  her fiefighs  fore  him  with  just  one  curl  after  the  cad  came  back  which we  fought  he  wars  a  gunner  and  his  corkiness  lay  up  two  bottles of  joy  with  a  shandy  had  by  Fred  and  a  Jino  oloroso  which  he was  warming  to,  my  right,  Jimmy,  my  old  brown  freer?  — Whose  dolour,  O  so  mine!
Following  idly  up  to  seepoint,  neath  kingmount  shadow  the ilk  for  eke  of  us,  whose  nathem's  banned,  whose  hofd  a-hooded, welkim  warsail,  how  di'  you  dew?  Hollymerry,  ivysad,  whicher and  whoer,  Mr  Black  Atkins  and  you  tanapanny  troopertwos, were  you  there?  Was  truce  of  snow,  moonmounded  snow?  Or did  wolken  hang  o'er  earth  in  umber  hue  his  fulmenbomb? Number  two  coming!  Full  inside!  Was  glimpsed  the  mean amount  of  cloud?  Or  did  pitter  rain  fall  in  a  sprinkling?  If  the waters  could  speak  as  they  flow!  Timgle  Tom,  pall  the  bell! Izzy's  busy  down  the  dell!  Mizpah  low,  youyou,  number one,  in  deep  humidity!  Listen,  misled  peerless,  please!  You are  of  course.  You  miss  him  so,  to  listleto!  Of  course,  my pledge  between  us,  there's  no-one  Noel  like  him  here  to hear.  Esch  so  eschess,  douls  a  doulse!  Since  Allan  Rogue loved  Arrah  Pogue  it's  all  Killdoughall  fair.  Triss!  Only  trees such  as  these  such  were  those,  waving  there,  the  barketree,  the o'briertree,  the  rowantree,  the  o'corneltree,  the  behanshrub  near windy  arbour,  the  magill  o'dendron  more.  Trem!  All  the  trees in  the  wood  they  trembold,  humbild,  when  they  heard  the  stop- press  from  domday's  erewold.
Tiss !  Two  pretty  mistletots,  ribboned  to  a  tree,  up  rose  libe- rator and,  fancy,  they  were  free!  Four  witty  missy  wives,  wink-
588
!
}
ing  under  hoods,  made  lasses  like  lads  love  maypoleriding  and dotted  our  green  with  tricksome  couples,  fiftyfifty,  their  chil- tren's  hundred.  So  childish  pence  took  care  of  parents'  pounds and  many  made  money  the  way  in  the  world  where  rushroads to  riches  crossed  slums  of  lice  and,  the  cause  of  it  all,  he  forged himself  ahead  like  a  blazing  urbanorb,  brewing  treble  to  drown grief,  giving  and  taking  mayom  and  tuam,  playing  milliards  with his  three  golden  balls,  making  party  capital  out  of  landed  self- interest,  light  on  a  slavey  but  weighty  on  the  bourse,  our  hugest commercial  emporialist,  with  his  sons  booing  home  from  afar and  his  daughters  bridling  up  at  his  side.  Finner!
How  did  he  bank  it  up,  swank  it  up,  the  whaler  in  the  punt, a  guinea  by  a  groat,  his  index  on  the  balance  and  such  wealth into  the  bargain,  with  the  boguey  which  he  snatched  in  the baggage  coach  ahead.'^  Going  forth  on  the  prowl,  master  jackill, under  night  and  creeping  back,  dog  to  hide,  over  morning. Humbly  to  fall  and  cheaply  to  rise,  exposition  of  failures. Through  Duffy's  blunders  and  MacKenna's  insurance  for  upper ten  and  lower  five  the  band  played  on.  As  one  generation  tells another.  Ofter  the  fall.  First  for  a  change  of  a  seven  days  license he  wandered  out  of  his  farmer's  health  and  so  lost  his  early parishlife.  Then  ('twas  in  fenland)  occidentally  of  a  sudden,  six junelooking  flamefaces  straggled  wild  out  of  their  turns  through his  parsonfired  wicket,  showing  all  shapes  of  striplings  in  sleepless tights.  Promptly  whomafter  in  undated  times,  very  properly  a dozen  generations  anterior  to  themselves,  a  main  chanced  to  burst and  misflooded  his  fortunes,  wrothing  foulplay  over  his  fives' court  and  his  fine  poultryyard  wherein  were  spared  a  just  two  of a  feather  in  wading  room  only.  Next,  upon  due  rerlotation,  up started  four  hurrigan  gales  to  smithereen  his  plateglass  house- walls  and  the  slate  for  accounts  his  keeper  was  cooking.  Then came  three  boy  buglehorners  who  counterbezzled  and  cross- bugled  him.  Later  on  in  the  same  evening  two  hussites  ab- sconded through  a  breach  in  his  bylaws  and  left  him,  the  infidels, to  pay  himself  off  in  kind  remembrances.  Till,  ultimatehim,  fell the  crowning  barleystraw,  when  an  explosium  of  his  distilleries
589
deafadumped  all  his  dry  goods  to  his  most  favoured  sinflute  and dropped  him,  what  remains  of  a  heptark,  leareyed  and  letterish, weeping  worrybound  on  his  bankrump.
Pepep.  Pay  bearer,  sure  and  sorry,  at  foot  of  ohoho  honest policist.  On  never  again,  by  Phoenis,  swore  on  him  Lloyd's, not  for  beaten  wheat,  not  after  Sir  Joe  Meade's  father,  thanks! They  know  him,  the  covenanter,  by  rote  at  least,  for  a  chameleon at  last,  in  his  true  falseheaven  colours  from  ultraviolent  to  subred tissues.  That's  his  last  tryon  to  march  through  the  grand tryomphal  arch.  His  reignbolt's  shot.  Never  again!  How  you  do that  like,  Mista  Chimepiece.'^  You  got  nice  yum  plemyums.  Pray- paid  my  promishles!
Agreed,  Wu  Welsher,  he  was  chogfulled  to  beacsate  on  earn as  in  hiving,  of  foxold  conningnesses  but  who,  hey  honey,  for all  values  of  his  latters,  integer  integerrimost,  was  the  formast of  the  firm.'^  At  folkmood  hailed,  at  part  farwailed,  accwmwladed concloud,  Nuah-Nuah,  Nebob  of  Nephilim!  After  all  what  fol- lowed for  apprentice  sake?  Since  the  now  nighs  nearing  as  the yetst  hies  hin.  Jeebies,  ugh,  kek,  ptah,  that  was  an  ill  man !  Jaw- boose,  puddigood,  this  is  for  true  a  sweetish  mand!  But  Jum- bluffer,  bagdad,  sir,  yond  would  be  for  a  once  over  our  all honoured  christmastyde  easteredman.  Fourth  position  of  solu- tion. How  johnny!  Finest  view  from  horizon.  Tableau  final. Two  me  see.  Male  and  female  unmask  we  hem.  Begum  by  gunnel Who  now  broothes  oldbrawn.  Dawn!  The  nape  of  his  name- shielder's  scalp.  Halp!  After  having  drummed  all  he  dun.  Hun! Worked  out  to  an  inch  of  his  core.  More!  Ring  down.  While the  queenbee  he  staggerhorned  blesses  her  bliss  for  to  feel  her funnyman's  functions  Tag.  Rumbling.
Tiers,  tiers  and  tiers.  Rounds.
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ill,
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4
Sandhyas!  Sandhyas!  Sandhyas!
Calling  all  downs.  Calling  all  downs  to  dayne.  Array!  Surrec- tion !  Eireweeker  to  the  wohld  bludyn  world.  O  rally,  O  rally,  O rally!  Phlenxty,  O  rally!  To  what  lifelike  thyne  of  the  bird  can be.  Seek  you  somany  matters.  Haze  sea  east  to  Osseania.  Here! Here !  Tass,  Patt,  Staff,  Woff,  Haw,  Bluvv  and  Rutter.  The  smog  "l^^-r^A is  lofting.  And  already  the  olduman's  olduman  has  godden  up  on othertimes  to  litanate  the  bonnamours.  Sonne  feine,  somme feehn  avaunt!  Guld  modning,  have  yous  viewsed  Piers'  aube.'^ Thane  yaars  agon  we  have  used  yoors  up  since  when  we  have fused  now  orther.  Calling  all  daynes.  Calling  all  daynes  to  dawn. The  old  breeding  bradsted  culminwillth  of  natures  to  Foyn  Mac- Hooligan.  The  leader,  the  leader!  Securest  jubilends  albas  Te- moram.  Clogan  slogan.  Quake  up,  dim  dusky,  wook  doom  for husky!  And  let  Billey  Feghin  be  baallad  out  of  his  humuluation. Confindention  to  churchen.  We  have  highest  gratifications  in announcing  to  pewtewr  publikumst  of  pratician  pratyusers,  gen- ghis  is  ghoon  for  you.
A  hand  from  the  cloud  emerges^,  holding  a  chart  expanded.
The  eversower  of  the  seeds  of  light  to  the  cowld  owld  sowls that  are  in  the  domnatory  of  Defmut  after  the  night  of  the  carry- ing of  the  word  of  Nuahs  and  the  night  of  making  Mehs  to  cuddle up  in  a  coddlepot,  Pu  Nuseht,  lord  of  risings  in  the  yonderworld of  Ntamplin,  tohp  triumphant,  speaketh.
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Vah!  Suvam  Sur!  Scatter  brand  to  the  reneweller  of  the  sky, thou  who  agnitest!  Dah!  Arcthuris  comeing!  Be!  Verb  umprin- cipiant  through  the  trancitive  spaces !  Kilt  by  kelt  shell  kithagain with  kinagain.  We  elect  for  thee,  Tirtangel.  Svadesia  salve!  We Durbalanars,  theeadjure.  A  way,  the  Margan,  from  our  astamite, through  dimdom  done  till  light  kindling  light  has  led  we  hopas but  hunt  me  the  journey  on,  iteritinerant,  the  kal  his  course, amid  the  semitary  of  Somnionia.  Even  unto  Heliotropolis,  the castellated,  the  enchanting.  Now  if  soomone  felched  a  twoel and  soomonelses  warmet  watter  we  could,  while  you  was  saying Morkret  Miry  or  Smud,  Brunt  and  Rubbinsen,  make  sunlike sylp  om  this  warful  dune's  battam.  Yet  clarify  begins  at.  Whither the  spot  for.'*  Whence  the  hour  by.'^  See  but!  Lever  hulme!  Take in.  Respassers  should  be  pursaccoutred.  Qui  stabat  Meins  quan- tum qui  stabat  Peins.  As  of  yours.  We  annew.  Our  shades  of minglings  mengle  them  and  help  help  horizons.  A  flasch  and, rasch,  it  shall  come  to  pasch,  as  hearth  by  hearth  leaps  live.  For the  tanderest  stock  with  the  rosinost  top  Ahlen  Hill's,  club- pubber,  in  general  stores  and.  Atriathroughwards,  Lugh  the Brathwacker  will  be  the  listened  after  and  he  larruping  sparks  out of  his  teiney  ones.  The  spearspid  of  dawnfire  totouches  ain  the tablestoane  ath  the  centre  of  the  great  circle  of  the  macroliths  of Helusbelus  in  the  boshiman  brush  on  this  our  peneplain  by  Fan- galuvu  Bight  whence  the  horned  cairns  erge,  stanserstanded, to  floran  frohn,  idols  of  isthmians.  Overwhere.  Gaunt  grey ghostly  gossips  growing  grubber  in  the  glow.  Past  now  pulls. Cur  one  beast,  even  Dane  the  Great,  may  treadspath  with sniffer  he  snout  impursuant  to  byelegs.  Edar's  chuckal  humuristic. But  why  pit  the  cur  afore  the  noxe.'^  Let  shrill  their  duan Gallus,  ban,  and  she,  hou  the  Sassqueehenna,  makes  ducks- runs  at  crooked.  Once  for  the  chantermale,  twoce  for  the  pother and  once  twoce  threece  for  the  waither.  So  an  inedible  yellow- meat  turns  out  the  invasable  blackth.  Kwhat  serves  to  rob  with Alliman,  saelior,  a  turnkeyed  trot  to  Seapoint,  pierrotettes,  means Noel's  Bar  and  Julepunsch,  by  Joge,  if  you've  tippertaps  in  your head  or  starting  kursses,  tailour,  you're  silenced  at  Henge  Ceol-
594
!
leges,  Exmooth,  Ostbys  for  ost,  boys,  each  and  one?  Death  banes and  the  quick  quoke.  But  Hfe  wends  and  the  dombs  spake! Whake?  Hill  of  Hafid,  knock  and  knock,  nachasach,  gives  relief to  the  langscape  as  he  strauches  his  lamusong  untoupon  gazelle channel  and  the  bride  of  the  Bryne,  shin  high  shake,  is  dotter than  evar  for  a  damse  wed  her  farther.  Lambel  on  the  up!  We may  plesently  heal  Geoglyphy's  twentynine  ways  to  say  good- bett  an  wassing  seoosoon  liv.  With  the  forty  wonks  winking please  me  your  much  as  to.  With  her  tup.  It's  a  long  long  ray  to Newirgland's  premier.  For  korps,  for  streamfish,  for  confects, for  bullyoungs,  for  smearsassage,  for  patates,  for  steaked  pig,  for men,  for  limericks,  for  waterfowls,  for  wagsfools,  for  louts,  for cold  airs,  for  late  trams,  for  curries,  for  curlews,  for  leekses,  for orphalines,  for  tunnygulls,  for  clear  goldways,  for  lungfortes,  for moonyhaunts,  for  fairmoneys,  for  coffins,  for  tantrums,  for armaurs,  for  waglugs,  for  rogues  comings,  for  sly  goings, for  larksmathes,  for  homdsmeethes,  for  quailsmeathes,  kilalooly. Tep!  Come  lead,  crom  lech!  Top.  Wisely  for  us  Old  Bruton  has withdrawn  his  theory.  You  are  alpsulumply  wroght!  Amsu- lummmm.  But  this  is  perporteroguing  youpoorapps.'^  Naman- tanai.  Sure  it's  not  revieng  your.'^  Amslu!  Good  all  so.  We  seem to  understand  apad  vellumtomes  muniment,  Arans  Duhkha, among  hoseshoes,  cheriotiers  and  etceterogenious  bargainbout- barrows,  ofver  and  umnder,  since,  evenif  or  although,  in  double preposition  as  in  triple  conjunction,  how  the  mudden  research  in the  topaia  that  was  Mankaylands  has  gone  to  prove  from  the picalava  present  in  the  maramara  melma  that  while  a  successive generation  has  been  in  the  deep  deep  deeps  of  Deepereras.  Buried hearts.  Rest  here.
Conk  a  dook  he'll  doo.  Svap.
So  let  him  slap,  the  sap !  Till  they  take  down  his  shatter  from his  shap.  He  canease.  Fill  stap.
Thus  faraclacks  the  friarbird.  Listening,  Syd !
The  child,  a  natural  child,  thenown  by  the  mnames  of,  (aya! aya!),  wouldbewas  kidnapped  at  an  age  of  recent  probably, possibly  remoter;  or  he  conjured  himself  from  seight  by  slide
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at  hand;  for  which  thetheatron  is  a  lemoronage;  at  milch- goat  fairmesse;  in  full  dogdhis;  sod  on  a  fall;  pat;  the  hundering blundering  dunderfunder  of  plundersundered  manhood;  behold, he  returns;  renascenent;  fincarnate;  still  foretold  around  the  hearth- side;  at  matin  a  fact;  hailed  chimers'  ersekind;  foe  purmanant, fum  in  his  mow;  awike  in  wave  risurging  into  chrest;  victis  poenis hesternis;  fostfath  of  solas;  fram  choicest  of  wiles  with  warmen and  sogns  til  Banba,  burial  aranging;  under  articles  thirtynine  of the  reconstitution;  by  the  lord*s  order  of  the  canon  consecrand- able;  earthlost  that  we  thought  him;  pesternost,  the  noneknown worrier;  from  Tumbarumba  mountain;  in  persence  of  whole landslots;  forebe  all  the  rassias;  sire  of  leery  subs  of  dub;  the  Dig- gins,  Woodenhenge,  as  to  hang  out  at;  with  spawnish  oel  full  his angalach;  the  sousenugh;  gnomeosulphidosalamermauderman;  the big  brucer,  fert  in  fort;  Gunnar,  of  The  Gunnings,  Gund;  one of  the  two  or  three  forefivest  fellows  a  bloke  could  in  holiday crowd  encounter;  benedicted  be  the  barrel;  kilderkins,  lids  off;  a roache,  an  oxmaster,  a  sort  of  heaps,  a  pamphilius,  a  vintivat niviceny,  a  hygiennic  contrivance  socalled  from  the  editor;  the thick  of  your  thigh;  you  knox;  quite;  talking  to  the  vicar's  joy and  ruth;  the  gren,  woid  and  glue  been  broking  by  the  maybole gards;  he;  when  no  crane  in  Elga  is  heard;  upout  to  speak  this lay;  without  links,  without  impediments,  with  gygantogyres, with  freeflawforms;parasama  to  himself;  atman  as  evars;  whom otherwise  becauses;  no  puler  as  of  old  but  as  of  young  a  palatin; whitelock  not  lacked  nor  temperasoleon;  though  he  appears  a funny  colour;stoatters  some;  but  a  quite  a  big  bug  after  the dahlias;  place  inspectorum  sarchent;  also  the  huUow  chyst  ex- cavement;  astronomically  fabulafigured;  as  Jambudvispa  Vipra foresaw  of  him;  the  last  half  versicle  repurchasing  his  pawned word;  sorensplit  and  paddypatched;  and  pfor  to  pfinish  our  pfun of  a  pfan  coalding  the  keddle  mickwhite;  sure,  straight,  slim, sturdy,  serene,  synthetical,  swift.
By  the  antar  of  Yasas !  Ruse  made  him  worthily  achieve  in- herited wish.  The  drops  upon  that  mantle  rained  never  around Fingal.  Goute!  Loughlin's  Salts,  Will,  make  a  newman  if  any-
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worn.  Soe?  La!  Lamfadar's  arm  it  has  cocoincidences.  You  mean to  see  we  have  been  hadding  a  sound  night's  sleep?  You  may  so. It  is  just,  it  is  just  about  to,  it  is  just  about  to  rolywholyover. Svapnasvap.  Of  all  the  stranger  things  that  ever  not  even  in  the hundrund  and  badst  pageans  of  unthowsent  and  wonst  nice  or in  eddas  and  oddes  bokes  of  tomb,  dyke  and  hollow  to  be  have happened !  The  untireties  of  livesliving  being  the  one  substrance of  a  streamsbecoming.  Totalled  in  toldteld  and  teldtold  in  tittle- tell  tattle.  Why.'^  Because,  graced  be  Gad  and  all  giddy  gadgets, in  whose  words  were  the  beginnings,  there  are  two  signs  to  turn to,  the  yest  and  the  ist,  the  wright  side  and  the  wronged  side, feeling  aslip  and  wauking  up,  so  an,  so  farth.  Why.'^  On  the  sourd- site  we  have  the  Moskiosk  Djinpalast  with  its  twin  adjacencies, the  bathouse  and  the  bazaar,  allahallahallah,  and  on  the  sponthe- site  it  is  the  alcovan  and  the  rosegarden,  boony  noughty,  all  pura- puthry.  Why?  One's  apurr  apuss  a  story  about  brid  and  break- fedes  and  parricombating  and  coushcouch  but  others  is  of  tholes and  oubworn  buyings,  dolings  and  chafferings  in  heat,  contest and  enmity.  Why?  Every  talk  has  his  stay,  vidnis  Shavarsanjivana, and  all-a-dreams  perhapsing  under  lucksloop  at  last  are  through. Why?  It  is  a  sot  of  a  swigswag,  systomy  dystomy,  which  evera- body  you  ever  anywhere  at  all  doze.  Why?  Such  me. And  howpsadrowsay.
Lok!  A  shaft  of  shivery  in  the  act,  anilancinant.  Cold's  sleuth! Vayuns !  Where  did  thots  come  from?  It  is  infinitesimally  fevers, resty  fever,  risy  fever,  a  coranto  of  aria,  sleeper  awakening,  in the  smalls  of  one's  back  presentiment,  gip,  and  again,  geip,  a flash  from  a  future  of  maybe  mahamayability  through  the  windr of  a  wondr  in  a  wildr  is  a  weltr  as  a  wirbl  of  a  warbl  is  a  world.
Tom.
It  is  perfect  degrees  excelsius.  A  jaladaew  still  stilleth.  Cloud lay  but  mackrel  are.  Anemone  activescent,  the  torporature  is  re- turning to  mornal.  Humid  nature  is  feeling  itself  freely  at  ease .with  the  all  fresco.  The  vervain  is  to  herald  as  the  grass  admini- sters. They  say,  they  say  in  effect,  they  really  say.  You  have  eaden fruit.  Say  whuit.  You  have  snakked  mid  a  fish.  Telle  whish.
597
Every  those  personal  place  objects  if  nonthings  where  soevers and  they  just  done  been  doing  being  in  a  dromo  of  todos  with- outen  a  bound  to  be  your  trowers.  Forswundled.  You  hald  him by  the  tap  of  the  tang.  Not  a  salutary  sellable  sound  is  since.  In- steed  for  asteer,  adrift  with  adraft.  Nuctumbulumbumus  wander- wards  the  Nil.  Victorias  neanzas.  Alberths  neantas.  It  was  a  long, very  long,  a  dark,  very  dark,  an  allburt  unend,  scarce  endurable, and  we  could  add  mostly  quite  various  and  somenwhat  stumble- tumbling  night.  Endee  he  sendee.  Diu !  The  has  goning  at  gone, the  is  coming  to  come.  Greets  to  ghastern,  hie  to  morgning.  Dor- midy,  destady.  Doom  is  the  faste.  Well  down,  good  other!  Now day,  slow  day,  from  delicate  to  divine,  divases.  Padma,  brighter and  sweetster,  this  flower  that  bells,  it  is  our  hour  or  risings. Tickle,  tickle.  Lotus  spray.  Till  herenext.  Adya.
Take  thanks,  thankstum,  thamas.  In  that  earopean  end  meets Ind.
There  is  something  supernoctural  about  whatever  you  called him  it.  Panpan  and  vinvin  are  not  alonety  vanvan  and  pinpin  in your  Tamal  without  tares  but  simplysoley  they  are  they.  This- utter  followis  that  odder  fellow.  Himkim  kimkim.  Old  yeaster- loaves  may  be  a  stale  as  a  stub  and  the  pitcher  go  to  aftoms  on  the wall.  Mildew,  murk,  leak  and  yarn  now  want  the  bad  that  they lied  on.  And  your  last  words  todate  in  camparative  accousto- mology  are  going  to  tell  stretch  of  a  fancy  through  strength  to- wards joyance,  adyatants,  where  he  gets  up.  Allay  for  allay,  a threat  for  a  throat.
Tim!
To  them  in  Ysat  Loka.  Hearing.  The  urb  it^orbs.  Then's  now with  now's  then  in  tense  continuant.  Heard.  Who  having  has he  shall  have  had.  Hear!  Upon  the  thuds  trokes  truck,  chim, it  will  be  exactlyso  fewer  hours  by  so  many  minutes  of  the ope  of  the  diurn  of  the  sennight  of  the  maaned  of  the  yere  of the  age  of  the  madamanvantora  of  Grossguy  and  Littleylady, our  hugibus  hugibum  and  our  weewee  mother,  actaman  house- truewith,  and  their  childer  and  their  napirs  and  their  napirs' childers  napirs  and  their  chattels  and  their  servance  and  their
598
cognance  and  their  ilks  and  their  orts  and  their  everythings  that is  be  will  was  theirs.
Much  obliged.  Time-o'-Thay !  But  wherth,  O  clerk.'^ Whithr  a  clonk.^  Vartman!  See  you  not  soo  the  pfath  they pfunded,  oura  vatars  that  arred  in  Himmal,  harruad  bathar  na- mas,  the  gow,  the  stiar,  the  tigara,  the  liofant,  when  even  thurst was  athar  vetals,  mid  trefoils  slipped  the  sable  rampant,  hoof, hoof,  hoof,  hoof,  padapodopudupedding  on  fattafottafutt.  Ere we  are!  Signifying,  if  tungs  may  tolkan,  that,  primeval  condi- tions having  gradually  receded  but  nevertheless  the  emplacement of  solid  and  fluid  having  to  a  great  extent  persisted  through intermittences  of  sullemn  fulminance,  sollemn  nuptialism,  sallemn sepulture  and  providential  divining,  making  possible  and  even inevitable,  after  his  a  time  has  a  tense  haves  and  havenots  hesitency, at  the  place  and  period  under  consideration  a  socially  organic entity  of  a  millenary  military  maritory  monetary  morphological circumformation  in  a  more  or  less  settled  state  of  equonomic ecolube  equalobe  equilab  equilibbrium.  Gam  on,  Gearge !  Nomo- morphemy  for  me!  Lessnatbe  angardsmanlake !  You  jast  gat  a tache  of  army  on  the  stumuk.  To  the  Angar  at  Anker.  Aecquo- tincts.  Seeworthy.  Lots  thankyouful,  polite  pointsins!  There's a  tavam  in  the  tarn.
Tip.  Take  Tamotimo's  topical.  Tip.  Browne  yet  Noland.  Tip. Advert.
Where.  Cumulonubulocirrhonimbant  heaven  electing,  the  dart of  desire  has  gored  the  heart  of  secret  waters  and  the  poplarest wood  in  the  entire  district  is  being  grown  at  present,  eminently adapted  for  the  requirements  of  pacnincstricken  humanity  and, between  all  the  goings  up  and  the  whole  of  the  comings  down  and the  fog  of  the  cloud  in  which  we  toil  and  the  cloud  of  the  fog under  which  we  labour,  bomb  the  thing's  to  be  domb  about  it  so that,  beyond  indicating  the  locality,  it  is  felt  that  one  cannot  with advantage  add  a  very  great  deal  to  the  aforegoing  by  what,  such  as it  is  to  be,  follows,  just  mentioning  however  that  the  old  man  of the  sea  and  the  old  woman  in  the  sky  if  they  don't  say  nothings about  it  they  don't  tell  us  lie,  the  gist  of  the  pantomime,  from
599
cannibal  king  to  the  property  horse,  being,  slumply  and  slopely, to  remind  us  how,  in  this  drury  world  of  ours.  Father  Times  and Mother  Spacies  boil  their  kettle  with  their  crutch.  Which  every lad  and  lass  in  the  lane  knows.  Hence.
Polycarp  pool,  the  pool  of  Innalavia,  Saras  the  saft  as,  of meadewy  marge,  atween  Deltas  Piscium  and  Sagittariastrion, whereinn  once  we  lave  'tis  alve  and  vale,  minnyhahing  here  from hiarwather,  a  poddlebridges  in  a  passabed,  the  river  of  lives,  the regenerations  of  the  incarnations  of  the  emanations  of  the  appa- rentations  of  Funn  and  Nin  in  Cleethabala,  the  kongdomain  of the  Alieni,  an  accorsaired  race,  infester  of  Libnud  Ocean,  Moyla- more,  let  it  be!  Where  Allbroggt  Neandser  tracking  Viggynette Neeinsee  gladsighted  her  Linfian  Fall  and  a  teamdiggingharrow turned  the  first  sod.  Sluce!  Caughterect!  Goodspeed  the  blow! (Incidentally  'tis  believed  that  his  harpened  before  Gage's  Fane for  it  has  to  be  over  this  booty  spotch,  though  some  hours  to the  wester,  that  ex-Colonel  House's  preterpost  heiress  is  to  re- turn unto  the  outstretcheds  of  Dweyr  O'Michael's  loinsprung the  blunterbusted  pikehead  which  his  had  hewn  in  hers,  pro- longed laughter  words).  There  an  alomdree  begins  to  green, screen  seen  for  loveseat,  as  we  know  that  should  she,  for  by essentience  his  law,  so  it  make  all.  It  is  scainted  to  Vitalba.  And her  little  white  bloomkins,  twittersky  trimmed,  are  hobdoblins' hanky panks.  Saxenslyke  our  anscessers  thought  so  darely  on now  they're  going  soever  to  Anglesen,  free  of  juties,  dyrt  chapes. There  too  a  slab  slobs,  immermemorial,  the  only  in  all  swamp. But  so  bare,  so  boulder,  brag  sagging  such  a  brr  bll  bmm  show that,  of  Barindens,  the  white  alfred,  it  owed  to  have  at  leased some  butchup's  upperon.  Homos  Circas  Elochlannensisl  His showplace  at  Leeambye.  Old  Wommany  Wyes.  Pfif !  But,  while gleam  with  gloom  swan  here  and  there,  this  shame  rock  and  that whispy  planter  tell  Paudheen  Steel-the-Poghue  and  his  perty Molly  Vardant,  in  goodbroomirish,  arrah,  this  place  is  a  proper and  his  feist  a  ferial  for  curdnal  communial,  so  be  who  would celibrate  the  holy  mystery  upon  or  that  the  pirigrim  from  Mainy- lands  beatend,  the  calmleaved  hutcaged  by  that  look  whose  glaum
600
I
I
is  sure  he  means  bisnisgels  to  empalmover.  A  naked  yogpriest, clothed  of  sundust,  his  oakey  doaked  with  frondest  leoves,  offrand to  the  ewon  of  her  owen.  Tasyam  kuru  salilakriyamu !  Pfaf !
Bring  about  it  to  be  brought  about  and  it  will  be,  loke,  our  lake lemanted,  that  greyt  lack,  the  citye  of  Is  is  issuant  (atlanst!),  urban and  orbal,  through  seep  froms  umber  under  wasseres  of  Erie.
Lough !
Hwo!  Hwy,  dairmaidens?  Asthoreths,  assay!  Earthsigh  to  is heavened.
Hillsengals,  the  daughters  of  the  cliffs,  responsen.  Longsome the  samphire  coast.  From  thee  to  thee,  thoo  art  it  thoo,  that thouest  there.  The  like  the  near,  the  liker  nearer.  O  sosay!  A family,  a  band,  a  school,  a  clanagirls.  Fiftines  andbut  fortines  by novanas  andor  vantads  by  octettes  ayand  decadendecads  by  a lunary  with  last  a  lone.  Whose  every  has  herdifferent  from  the similies  with  her  site.  Sicut  campanulae  petalliferentes  they  coroll in  caroll  round  Botany  Bay.  A  dweam  of  dose  innocent  dirly dirls.  Keavn!  Keavn!  And  they  all  setton  voicies  about  singsing music  was  Keavn!  He.  Only  he.  Ittle  he.  Ah!  The  whole clangalied.  Oh!
S.  Wilhelmina's,  S.  Gardenia's,  S.  Phibia's,  S.  Veslandrua's, S.  Clarinda's,  S.  Immecula's,  S.  Dolores  Delphin's,  S.  Perlan- throa's,  S.  Errands  Gay's,  S.  Eddaminiva's,  S.  Rhodamena's,  S. Ruadagara's,  S.  Drimicumtra's,  S.  Una  Vestity's,  S.  Mintargisia's, S.  Misha-La-Valse's,  S.  Churstry's,  S.  Clouonaskieym's,  S.  Bella- vistura's,  S.  Santamonta's,  S.  Ringsingsund's,  S.  Heddadin Drade's,  S.  Glacianivia's,  S.  Waidafrira's,  S.  Thomassabbess's and  (trema!  unloud!!  pepet!!!)  S.  Loellisotoelles !
Prayfulness !  Prayfulness !
Euh!  Thaet  is  seu  whaet  shaell  one  naeme  it!
The  meidinogues  have  tingued  togethering.  Ascend  out  of your  bed,  cavern  of  a  trunk,  and  shrine!  Kathlins  is  kitchin. Soros  cast,  ma  brone!  You  must  exterra  acquarate  to  interirigate all  the  arkypelicans.  The  austrologer  Wallaby  by  Tolan,  who farshook  our  showrs  from  Newer  Aland,  has  signed  the  you  and the  now  our  mandate.  Milenesia  waits.  Be  smark.
6oi
One  seekings.  Not  the  lithe  slender,  not  the  broad  roundish near  the  lithe  slender,  not  the  fairsized  fuUfeatured  to  the  leeward of  the  broad  roundish  but,  indeed  and  inneed,  the  curling,  perfect- portioned,  flowerfleckled,  shapely  highhued,  delicate  features swaying  to  the  windward  of  the  fairsized  fuUfeatured.
Was  that  in  the  air  about  when  something  is  to  be  said  for  it  or is  it  someone  imparticular  who  will  somewherise  for  the  whole anyhow?
What  does  Coemghen?  Tell  his  hidings  clearly!  A  woodtoo- gooder.  Is  his  moraltack  still  his  best  of  weapons?  How  about  a little  more  goaling  goold?  Rowlin's  tun  he  gadder  no  must.  It  is the  voice  of  Roga.  His  face  is  the  face  of  a  son.  Be  thine  the  silent hall,  O  Jarama !  A  virgin,  the  one,  shall  mourn  thee.  Roga's  stream is  solence.  But  Croona  is  in  adestance.  The  ass  of  the  O'Dwyer of  Greyglens  is  abrowtobayse  afeald  in  his  terroirs  of  the  Potter- ton's  forecoroners,  the  reeks  around  the  burleyhearthed.  When visited  by  an  indepondant  reporter,  "Mike"  Portlund,  to  burrow burning  the  latterman's  Resterant  so  is  called  the  gortan  in  ques- ture  he  mikes  the  fallowing  for  the  Durban  Gazette,  firstcoming issue.  From  a  collispendent.  Any  were.  Deemsday.  Bosse  of  Upper and  Lower  Byggotstrade,  Ciwareke,  may  he  live  for  river!  The Games  funeral  at  Valleytemple.  Satumights  pomps,  exhabiting that  corricatore  of  a  harss,  revealled  by  Oscur  Camerad.  The  last of  Dutch  Schulds,perhumps.  Pipe  in  Dream  Cluse.  Uncovers  Pub History.  The  Outrage,  at  Length.  Affected  Mob  Follows  in  Reli- gious Sullivence.  Rinvention  of  vestiges  by  which  they  drugged the  buddhy.  Moviefigure  on  in  scenic  section.  By  Patathicus.  And there,  from  out  of  the  scuity,  misty  Londan,  along  the  canavan route,  that  is  with  the  years  gone,  mild  beam  of  the  wave  his polar  bearing,  steerner  among  stars,  trust  touthena  and  you tread  true  turf,  comes  the  sorter,  Mr  Hurr  Hansen,  talking  allthe- ways  in  himself  of  his  hopes  to  fall  in  among  a  merryfoule of  maidens  happynghome  from  the  dance,  his  knyckle  allaready in  his  knackskey  fob,  a  passable  compatriate  proparly  of  the Grimstad  galleon,  old  pairs  frieze,  feed  up  to  the  noxer  with their  geese  and  peeas  and  oats  upon  a  trencher  and  the  toyms
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I
he'd  lust  in  Wooming  but  with  that  smeoil  like  a  grace  of  backon- ing  over  his  egglips  of  the  sunsoonshine.  Here's  heering  you  in a  guessmasque,  latterman!  And  such  an  improofment !  As  royt as  the  mail  and  as  fat  as  a  fuddle!  Schoen!  Shoan!  Shoon  the Puzt!  A  penny  for  your  thought  abouts!  Tay,  tibby,  tanny, tummy,  tasty,  tosty,  tay.  Batch  is  for  Baker  who  baxters  our bread.  O,  what  an  ovenly  odour!  Butter  butter!  Bring  us  this days  our  maily  bag!  But  receive  me,  my  frensheets,  from  the emerald  dark  winterlong!  For  diss  is  the  doss  for  Eilder  Downes and  dass  is  it  duss,  as  singen  sengers,  what  the  hardworking straightwalking  stoutstamping  securelysealing  officials  who  trow to  form  our  G.M.P.'s  pass  muster  generally  shay  for  shee  and sloo  for  slee  when  butting  their  headd  to  the  pillow  for  a  night- shared  nakeshift  with  the  alter  girl  they  tuck  in  for  sweepsake. Dutiful  wealker  for  his  hydes  of  march.  Haves  you  the  time. Hans  ahike?  Heard  you  the  crime,  senny  boy.'^  The  man  was giddy  on  letties  on  the  dewry  of  the  duary,  be  pursueded, whethered  with  entrenous,  midgreys,  dagos,  teatimes,  shadows, nocturnes  or  samoans,  if  wellstocked  fillerouters  plushfeverfraus with  dopy  chonks,  and  this,  that  and  the  other  pigskin  or  muffle kinkles,  taking  a  pipe  course  or  doing  an  anguish,  seen  to  his fleece  in  after  his  fouU,  when  Dr  Chart  of  Greet  Chorsles  street he  changed  his  backbone  at  a  citting.  He  had  not  the  declaina- tion,  as  what  with  the  foos  as  whet  with  the  fays,  but  so  far  as hanging  a  goobes  on  the  precedings,  wherethen  the  lag  allows,  it mights  be  anything  after  darks.  Which  the  deers  alones  they  sees and  the  darkies  they  is  snuffing  of  the  wind  up.  Debbling. Greanteavvents !  Hyacinssies  with  heliotrollops !  Not  once fullvixen  freakings  and  but  dubbledecoys !  It  is  a  lable  iction  on the  porte  of  the  cuthulic  church  and  summum  most  atole  for  it. Where  is  that  blinketey  blanketer,  that  quound  of  a  pealer,  the sunt  of  a  hunt  whant  foxes  good  men!  Where  or  he,  our  loved among  many.'^
But  what  does  Coemghem,  the  fostard.'^  Tyro  a  tora.  The novened  iconostase  of  his  blueygreyned  vitroils  but  begins in  feint  to  light  his  legend.  Let  Phosphoron  proclaim!  Peechy
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peechy.  Say  he  that  saw  him  that  saw!  Man  shall  sharp  run do  a  get  him.  Ask  no  more,  Jerry  mine,  Roga's  voice!  No pice  soorkabatcha.  The  bog  which  puckerooed  the  posy.  The vinebranch  of  Heremonheber  on  Bregia's  plane  where  Teffia  lies is  leaved  invert  and  fructed  proper  but  the  cublic  hatches  endnot open  yet  for  hourly  rincers'  mess.  Read  Higgins,  Cairns  and  Egen. Malthus  is  yet  lukked  in  close.  Withun.  How  swathed  there- answer  alcove  makes  theirinn!  Besoakers  loiter  on.  And  primi- libatory  solicates  of  limon  sodias  will  be  absorbable.  It  is not  even  yet  the  engine  of  the  load  with  haled  morries  full  of crates,  you  mattinmummur,  for  dombell  dumbs.'^  Sure  and  'tis not  then.  The  greek  Sideral  Reulthway,  as  it  havvents,  will  soon be  starting  a  smooth  with  its  first  single  hastencraft.  Danny  buz- zers instead  of  the  vialact  coloured  milk  train  on  the  fartykket plan  run  with  its  endless  gallaxion  of  rotatorattlers  and  the  smool- troon  our  elderens  rememberem  as  the  scream  of  the  service, Strubry  Bess.  Also  the  waggonwobblers  are  still  yet  everdue  to precipitate  after  night's  combustion.  Aspect,  Shamus  Rogua  or! Taceate  and!  Hagiographice  canat  Ecclesia.  Which  aubrey  our first  shall  show.  Inattendance  who  is  who  is  will  play  that's  what's that  to  what's  that,  what.
Oyes!  Oyeses!  Oyesesyeses!  The  primace  of  the  Gaulls,  pro- tonotorious,  I  yam  as  I  yam,  mitrogenerand  in  the  free  state  on the  air,  is  now  aboil  to  blow  a  Gael  warning.  Inoperation  Eyr- lands  Eyot,  Meganesia,  Habitant  and  the  onebut  thousand  insels, Western  and  Osthern  Approaches.
Of  Kevin,  of  increate  God  the  servant,  of  the  Lord  Creator  a filial  fearer,  who,  given  to  the  growing  grass,  took  to  the  tall  tim- ber, slippery  dick  the  springy  heeler,  as  we  have  seen,  so  we have  heard,  what  we  have  received,  that  we  have  transmitted, thus  we  shall  hope,  this  we  shall  pray  till,  in  the  search  for love  of  knowledge  through  the  comprehension  of  the  unity  in altruism  through  stupefaction,  it  may  again  how  it  may  again, shearing  aside  the  four  wethers  and  passing  over  the  dainty  daily dairy  and  dropping  by  the  way  the  lapful  of  live  coals  and smoothing  out  Nelly  Nettle  and  her  lad  of  mettle,  full  of  stmgs,
604
T
fond  of  stones,  friend  of  gnewgnawns  bones  and  leaving  all  the messy  messy  to  look  after  our  douche  douche,  the  miracles, death  and  life  are  these.
Yad.  Procreated  on  the  ultimate  ysland  of  Yreland  in  the  en- cyclical yrish  archipelago,  come  their  feast  of  precreated  holy whiteclad  angels,  whomamong  the  christener  of  his,  voluntarily poor  Kevin,  having  been  graunted  the  praviloge  of  a  priest's postcreated  portable  altare  cum  halneo^  when  espousing  the  one true  cross,  invented  and  exalted,  in  celibate  matrimony  at  matin chime  arose  and  westfrom  went  and  came  in  alb  of  cloth  of  gold to  our  own  midmost  Glendalough-le-vert  by  archangelical  guid- ance where  amiddle  of  meeting  waters  of  river  Yssia  and  Essia river  on  this  one  of  cithers  lone  navigable  lake  piously  Kevin, lawding  the  triune  trishagion,  amidships  of  his  conducible  altar super  bath,  rafted  centripetally,  diaconal  servent  of  orders  hiber- nian,  midway  across  the  subject  lake  surface  to  its  supreem  epi- centric  lake  Ysle,  whereof  its  lake  is  the  ventrifugal  principality, whereon  by  prime,  powerful  in  knowledge,  Kevin  came  to  where its  centre  is  among  the  circumfluent  watercourses  of  Yshgafiena and  Yshgafiuna,  an  enysled  lakelet  yslanding  a  lacustrine  yslet, whereupon  with  beached  raft  subdiaconal  bath  propter  altar, with  oil  extremely  anointed,  accompanied  by  prayer,  holy  Kevin bided  till  the  third  morn  hour  but  to  build  a  rubric  penitential honeybeehivehut  in  whose  enclosure  to  live  in  fortitude,  acolyte of  cardinal  virtues,  whereof  the  arenary  floor,  most  holy  Kevin excavated  as  deep  as  to  the  depth  of  a  seventh  part  of  one  full fathom,  which  excavated,  venerable  Kevin,  anchorite,  taking counsel,  proceded  towards  the  lakeside  of  the  ysletshore  whereat seven  several  times  he,  eastward  genuflecting,  in  entire  ubidience at  sextnoon  collected  gregorian  water  sevenfold  and  with  am- brosian  eucharistic  joy  of  heart  as  many  times  receded,  carrying that  privileged  altar  unacumque  bath,  which  severally  seven  times into  the  cavity  excavated,  a  lector  of  water  levels,  most  venerable Kevin,  then  effused  thereby  letting  there  be  water  where  was  there- tofore dry  land,  by  him  so  concreated,  who  now,  confirmed  a  strong and  perfect  christian,  blessed  Kevin,  exorcised  his  holy  sister
605
water,  perpetually  chaste,  so  that,  well  understanding,  she  should fill  to  midheight  his  tubbathaltar,  which  hanbathtub,  most  blessed Kevin,  ninthly  enthroned,  in  the  concentric  centre  of  the  trans- lated water,  whereamid,  when  violet  vesper  vailed.  Saint  Kevin, Hydrophilos,  having  girded  his  sable  cappa  magna  as  high  as  to his  cherubical  loins,  at  solemn  compline  sat  in  his  sate  of  wis- dom, that  handbathtub,  where verafter,  recreated  doctor  insularis of  the  universal  church,  keeper  of  the  door  of  meditation,  memory extempore  proposing  and  intellect  formally  considering,  recluse, he  meditated  continuously  with  seraphic  ardour  the  primal  sacra- ment of  baptism  or  the  regeneration  of  all  man  by  affusion  of water.  Yee.
Bisships,  bevel  to  rock's  rite  1  Sarver  buoy,  extinguish !  Nuota- bene.  The  rare  view  from  the  three  Benns  under  the  bald  heaven is  on  the  other  end,  askan  your  blixom  on  dimmen  and  bias  tun, something  to  right  hume  about.  They  were  erected  in  a  purvious century,  as  a  hen  fine  coops  and,  if  you  know  your  Bristol  and have  trudged  the  trolly  ways  and  elventums  of  that  old  cobbold city,  you  will  sortofficially  scribble  a  mental  Peny-Knox-Gore. Whether  they  were  franklings  by  name  also  has  not  been  fully probed.  Their  design  is  a  whosold  word  and  the  charming  de- tails of  light  in  dark  are  freshed  from  the  feminiairity  which breathes  content.  0  ferax  cupla\  Ah,  fairypair!  The  first  exploder to  make  his  ablations  in  these  parks  was  indeed  that  lucky  mortal which  the  monster  trial  showed  on  its  first  day  out.  What  will not  arky  paper,  anticidingly  inked  with  penmark,  push,  per  sample prof,  kuvertly  falted,  when  style,  stink  and  stigmataphoron  are of  one  sum  in  the  same  person.'^  He  comes  out  of  the  soil  very well  after  all  just  where  Old  Toffler  is  to  come  shuffling  along- soons  Panniquanne  starts  showing  of  her  peequuliar  talonts. Awaywrong  wandler  surking  to  a  rightrare  rute  for  his  plain utterrock  sukes,  appelled  to  by  her  fancy  claddaghs.  You  plied that  pokar,  gamesy,  swell  as  aye  did,  while  there  were  flickars to  the  flores.  He  may  be  humpy,  nay,  he  may  be  dumpy  but  there is  always  something  racey  about,  say,  a  sailor  on  a  horse.  As  soon as  we  sale  him  geen  we  gates  a  sprise !  He  brings  up  tofatufa  and
606
that  is  how  we  get  to  Missas  in  Massas.  The  old  Marino  tale.  We veriters  verity  notefew  demmed  lustres  priorly  magistrite  maxi- mollient  in  ludubility  learned.  Facst.  Teak  off  that  wise  head! Great  sinner,  good  sonner,  is  in  effect  the  motto  of  the  Mac- Cowell  family.  The  gloved  fist  (skrimmhandsker)  was  intraduced into  their  socerdatal  tree  before  the  fourth  of  the  twelfth  and  it is  even  a  little  odd  all  four  horolodgeries  still  gonging  restage Jakob  van  der  Bethel,  smolking  behing  his  pipe,  with  Essav  of Messagepostumia,  lentling  out  his  borrowed  chafingdish,  before cymbaloosing  the  apostles  at  every  hours  of  changeover.  The first  and  last  rittlerattle  of  the  anniverse;  when  is  a  nam  nought  a nam  whenas  it  is  a.  Watch  1  Heroes'  Highway  where  our  fleshers leave  their  bonings  and  every  bob  and  joan  to  fill  the  bumper  fair. It  is  their  segnall  for  old  Champelysied  to  seek  the  shades  of  his retirement  and  for  young  Chappielassies  to  tear  a  round  and  tease their  partners  lovesoftfun  at  Finnegan's  Wake.
And  it's  high  tigh  tigh.  Titley  hi  ti  ti.  That  my  dig  pressed  in your  dag  si.  Gnug  of  old  Gnig.  Ni,  gnid  mig  brawly!  I  bag  your burden.  Mees  is  thees  knees.  Thi  is  Mi.  We  have  caught  one- selves,  Sveasmeas,  in  somes  incontigruity  coumplegs  of  heopon- hurrish  marrage  from  whose  I  most  sublumbunate.  A  polog,  my engl  1  Excutes.  Om  still  so  sovvy.  Whyle  om  till  ti  ti.
Ha!
Dayagreening  gains  in  schlimninging.  A  summerwint  spring- falls,  abated.  Hail,  regn  of  durknass,  snowly  receassing,  thund lightening  thund,  into  the  dimbelowstard  departamenty  whither- out,  soon  hist,  soon  mist,  to  the  hothehill  from  the  hollow, Solsking  the  Frist  (attempted  by  the  admirable  Captive  Bunting and  Loftonant-Cornel  Blaire)  will  processingly  show  up  above Tumplen  Bar  whereupont  he  was  much  jubilated  by  Boerge- mester  "Dyk"  ffogg  of  Isoles,  now  Eisold,  looking  most  plussed with  (exhib  39)  a  clout  capped  sunbubble  anaccanponied  from his  bequined  torse.  Up.
Blanchardstown  mewspeppers  pleads  coppyl.  Gracest  good- ness, heave  mensy  upponnus!  Grand  old  Manbutton,  give  your bowlers  a  rest!
607
It  is  a  mere  mienerism  of  this  vague  of  visibilities,  mark  you, as  accorded  to  by  moisturologist  of  the  Brehons  Assorceration  for the  advauncement  of  scayence  because,  my  dear,  mentioning  of it  under  the  breath,  as  in  pure  (what  bunkum!)  essenesse,  there have  been  disselving  forenenst  you  just  the  draeper,  the  two drawpers  assisters  and  the  three  droopers  assessors  confraterni- tisers.  Who  are,  of  course.  Uncle  Arth,  your  two  cozes  from Niece  and  (kunject  a  bit  now !)  our  own  familiars,  Billyhealy,  Bally- hooly  and  Bullyhowley,  surprised  in  an  indecorous  position  by the  Sigurd  Sigerson  Sphygmomanometer  Society  for  bled- prusshers.
Knightsmore.  Haventyne?
Ha  ha!
This  Mister  Ireland?  And  a  live? Ay,  ay.  Aye,  aye,  baas.
The  cry  of  Stena  chills  the  vitals  of  slumbring  off  the  motther has  been  pleased  into  the  harms  of  old  salaciters,  meassurers soon  and  soon,  but  the  voice  of  Alina  gladdens  the  cockly- hearted  dreamerish  for  that  magic  moning  with  its  ching chang  chap  sugay  kaow  laow  milkee  muchee  bringing  becker- brose,  the  brew  with  the  foochoor  in  it.  Sawyest?  Nodt?  Nyets, I  dhink  I  sawn  to  remumb  or  sumbsuch.  A  kind  of  a  thinglike all  traylogged  then  pubably  it  resymbles  a  pelvic  or  some  kvind then  props  an  acutebacked  quadrangle  with  aslant  off  ohahn- thenth  a  wenchyoumaycuddler,  lying  with  her  royalirish  upper- shoes  among  the  theeckleaves.  Signs  are  on  of  a  mere  by  token that  wills  still  to  be  becoming  upon  this  there  once  a  here  was world.  As  the  dayeleyves  unfolden  them.  In  the  wake  of  the blackshape,  Nattenden  Sone;  whenat,  hindled  firth  and  bundled furth,  the  week  of  wakes  is  out  and  over;  as  a  wick  weak  woking from  ennemberable  Ashias  unto  fierce  force  fuming,  temtem tamtam,  the  Phoenican  wakes.
Passing.  One.  We  are  passing.  Two.  From  sleep  we  are  pass- ing. Three.  Into  the  wikeawades  warld  from  sleep  we  are  passing. Four.  Come,  hours,  be  ours!
But  still.  Ah  diar,  ah  diar!  And  stay.
608
It  was  allso  agreenable  in  our  sinegear  clutchless,  touring  the no  placelike  no  timelike  absolent,  mixing  up  pettyvaughan  popu- lose  with  the  magnumoore  genstries,  lloydhaired  mersscenary blookers  with  boydskinned  pigttetails  and  goochlipped  gwendo- lenes  with  dufFyeyed  dolores;  like  so  many  unprobables  in  their poor  suit  of  the  improssable.  With  Mata  and  after  please  with Matamaru  and  after  please  stop  with  Matamaruluka  and  after  stop do  please  with  Matamarulukajoni.
And  anotherum.  Ah  ess,  dapple  ass!  He  will  be  longing  after the  Grogram  Grays.  And,  Weisingchetaoli,  he  will  levellaut ministel  Trampleasure  be.  Sheflower  Rosina,  younger  Sheflower fruit  Amaryllis,  youngest  flowerfruityfrond  Sallysill  or  Sillysall. And  house  with  heaven  roof  occupanters  they  are  continuatingly attraverse  of  its  milletestudinous  windows,  ricocoursing  them- selves, as  staneglass  on  stonegloss,  inplayn  unglish  Wynn's Hotel.  Brancherds  at:  Bullbeck,  Oldboof,  Sassondale,  Jorsey Uppygard,  Mundelonde,  Abbeytotte,  Bracqueytuitte  with  Hoc- keyvilla,  Fockeyvilla,  Hillewille  and  Wallhall.  Hoojahoo  mana- gers the  thingaviking.  Obning  shotly.  When  the  messanger  of the  risen  sun,  (see  other  oriel)  shall  give  to  every  seeable  a  hue  and to  every  bearable  a  cry  and  to  each  spectacle  his  spot  and  to  each happening  her  houram.  The  while  we,  we  are  waiting,  we  are waiting  for.  Hymn.
Muta:  Quodestnunc  fumusiste  volhvuns  ex  Domoyno.'^
Juva:  It  is  Old  Head  of  Kettle  puffing  off  the  top  of  the  mornin.
Muta:  He  odda  be  thorly  well  ashamed  of  himself  for  smoking before  the  high  host.
Juva:  Dies  is  Dorminus  master  and  commandant  illy  tono- brass.
Muta:  Diminussed  aster!  An  I  could  peecieve  amonkst  the gatherings  who  ever  they  wolk  in  process.'^
Juva:  Khubadah!  It  is  the  Chrystanthemlander  with  his porters  of  bonzos,  pompommy  plonkyplonk,  the  ghariwallahs, moveyovering  the  cabrattlefield  of  slaine.
Muta:  Pongo  da  Banza!  An  I  would  uscertain  in  druidful scatterings  one  piece  tall  chap  he  stand  one  piece  same  place .'^
609
Juva:  Bulkily:  and  he  is  fundementially  theosophagusted  over the  whorse  proceedings.
Muta:  Petrificationibus !  O  horild  haraflare!  Who  his  dickhuns now  rearrexes  from  undernearth  the  memorialorum?
Juva:  Beleave  filmly,  beleave!  Fing  Fing!  King  King!
Muta:  Ulloverum?  Fulgitudo  ejus  Rhedonum  teneat!
Juva:  Rolantlossly!  Till  the  tipp  of  his  zifF.  And  the  ubideintia of  the  savium  is  our  ervics  fenicitas.
Muta:  Why  soly  smiles  the  supremest  with  such  for  a  leary  on his  rugular  lips?
Juva:  Bitchorbotchum!  Eebrydime!  He  has  help  his  crewn  on the  burkeley  buy  but  he  has  holf  his  crown  on  the  Eurasian Generalissimo.
Muta:  Skulkasloot!  The  twyly  velleid  is  thus  then  paridi- cynical.'*
Juva:  Ut  vivat  volumen  sic  pereat  pouradosus!
Muta:  Haven  money  on  stablecert.'^
Juva:  Tempt  to  wom  Outsider!
Muta:  Suc.^  He  quoffs.  Wutt.^
Juva:  Sec!  Wartar  wartar!  Wett.
Muta:  Ad  Piabelle  et  Purabelle.^
Juva:  At  Winne,  Woermann  og  Sengs.
Muta:  So  that  when  we  shall  have  acquired  unification  we shall  pass  on  to  diversity  and  when  we  shall  have  passed  on  to diversity  we  shall  have  acquired  the  instinct  of  combat  and  when we  shall  have  acquired  the  instinct  of  combat  we  shall  pass  back  to the  spirit  of  appeasement.'^
Juva:  By  the  light  of  the  bright  reason  which  daysends  to  us from  the  high.
Muta:  May  I  borrow  that  hordwanderbaffle  from  you,  old rubberskin.'^
Juva:  Here  it  is  and  I  hope  it*s  your  wormingpen,  Erinmonker! Shoot.
Rhythm  and  Colour  at  Park  Mooting.  Peredos  Last  in  the Grand  Natural.  Velivision  victor.  Dubs  newstage  oldtime  turf- tussle,  recalling  Winny  Willy  Widger.  Two  draws.  Heliotrope
6io
leads  from  Harem.  Three  ties.  Jockey  the  Ropper  jerks  Jake  the Rape.  Paddrock  and  bookley  chat. And  here  are  the  details.
Tunc.  Bymeby,  bullocky  vampas  tappany  bobs  topside  joss pidgin  fella  Balkelly,  archdruid  of  islish  chinchinjoss  in  the  his heptachromatic  sevenhued  septicoloured  roranyellgreenlindigan mantle  finish  he  show  along  the  his  mister  guest  Patholic  with alb  belongahim  the  whose  throat  hum  with  of  sametime  all  the  his cassock  groaner  fellas  of  greysfriaryfamily  he  fast  all  time  what time  all  him  monkafellas  with  Same  Patholic,  quoniam,  speeching, yeh  not  speeching  noh  man  liberty  is,  he  drink  up  words,  scilicet, tomorrow  till  recover  will  not,  all  too  many  much  illusiones through  photoprismic  velamina  of  hueful  panepiphanal  world spectacurum  of  Lord  Joss,  the  of  which  zoantholitic  furniture, from  mineral  through  vegetal  to  animal,  not  appear  to  full  up  to- gether fallen  man  than  under  but  one  photoreflection  of  the several  iridals  gradationes  of  solar  light,  that  one  which  that  part of  it  (furnit  of  heupanepi  world)  had  shown  itself  (part  of  fur  of huepanwor)  unable  to  absorbere,  whereas  for  numpa  one  pura- duxed  seer  in  seventh  degree  of  wisdom  of  Entis-Onton  he  savvy inside  true_  iawardness  of  reality,  the  Ding  hvad  in  idself  id  est, all  objects  (of  panepiwor)  allside  showed  themselves  in  trues coloribus  resplendent  with  sextuple  gloria  of  light  actually  re- tained, untisintus,  inside  them  (obs  of  epiwo).  Rumnant  Patholic, stareotypopticus,  no  catch  all  that  preachybook,  utpiam,  to- morrow recover  thing  even  is  not,  bymeby  vampsybobsy  tap- panasbullocks  topside  joss  pidgin  fella  Bilkilly-Belkelly  say  pat- fella,  ontesantes,  twotime  hemhaltshealing,  with  other  words verbigratiagrading  from  murmurulentous  till  stridulocelerious  in a  hunghoranghoangoly  tsinglontseng  while  his  comprehen- durient,  with  diminishing  claractinism,  augumentationed  himself in  caloripeia  to  vision  so  throughsighty,  you  anxioust  melan- cholic, High  Thats  Hight  Uberking  Leary  his  fiery  grassbelong- head  all  show  colour  of  sorrelwood  herbgreen,  again,  nigger- blonker,  of  the  his  essixcoloured  holmgrewnworsteds  costume the  his  fellow  saffron  pettikilt  look  same  hue  of  boiled  spinasses,
6ii
other  thing,  voluntary  mutismuser,  he  not  compyhandy  the  his golden  twobreasttorc  look  justsamelike  curlicabbis,  moreafter,  to pace  negativisticists,  verdant  readyrainroof  belongahim  Exuber High  Ober  King  Leary  very  dead,  what  he  wish  to  say,  spit  of superexuberabundancy  plenty  laurel  leaves,  after  that  com- mander bulopent  eyes  of  Most  Highest  Ardreetsar  King  same thing  like  thyme  choppy  upon  parsley,  alongsidethat,  if  please- sir,  nos  displace  tauttung,  sowlofabishospastored,  enamel  Indian gem  in  maledictive  fingerfondler  of  High  High  Siresultan  Em- peror all  same  like  one  fellow  olive  lentil,  onthelongsidethat,  by undesendas,  kirikirikiring,  violaceous  warwon  contusiones  of facebuts  of  Highup  Big  Cockywocky  Sublissimime  Autocrat,  for that  with  pure  hueglut  intensely  saturated  one,  tinged  uniformly, allaroundside  upinandoutdown,  very  like  you  seecut  chowchow of  plentymuch  sennacassia.  Hump  cumps  Ebblybally!  Sukkot?
Punc.  Bigseer,  refrects  the  petty  padre,  whackling  it  out^,  a tumble  to  take,  tripeness  to  call  thing  and  to  call  if  say  is  good while,  you  pore  shiroskuro  blackinwhitepaddynger,  by  thiswis aposterioprismically  apatstrophied  and  paralogically  periparo- lysed,  celestial  from  principalest  of  Iro's  Irismans  ruinboon  pot before,  (for  beingtime  monkblinkers  timeblinged  completamen- tarily  murkblankered  in  their  neutrolysis  between  the  possible viriditude  of  the  sager  and  the  probable  eruberuption  of  the saint),  as  My  tappropinquish  to  Me  wipenmeselps  gnosegates  a handcaughtscheaf  of  synthetic  shammy  rag  to  hims  hers,  seeming- such  four  three  two  agreement  cause  heart  to  be  might,  saving  to Balenoarch  (he  kneeleths),  to  Great  Balenoarch  (he  kneeleths down)  to  Greatest  Great  Balenoarch  (he  kneeleths  down  quite- somely),  the  sound  sense  sympol  in  a  weedwayedwold  of  the firethere  the  sun  in  his  halo  cast.  Onmen.
That  was  thing,  bygotter,  the  thing,  bogcotton,  the  very  thing, begad!  Even  to  uptoputty  Bilkilly-Belkelly-Balkally.  Who  was for  shouting  down  the  shatton  on  the  lamp  of  Jeeshees.  Sweating on  to  stonker  and  throw  his  seven.  As  he  shuck  his  thumping fore  features  apt  the  hoyhop  of  His  Ards.
Thud.
612
Good  safe  firelamp!  hailed  the  heliots.  Goldselforelump ! Hailed  they.  Awed.  Where  thereon  the  skyfold  high,  trampa- trampatramp.  Adie.  Per  ye  comdoom  doominoom  noonstroom. Yeasome  priestomes.  Fullyhum  toowhoom.
Taawhaar.'*
Sants  and  sogs,  cabs  and  cobs,  kings  and  karls,  tentes  and taunts.
'Tis  gone  infarover.  So  fore  now,  dayleash.  Pour  deday.  To trancejfixureashone.  Feist  of  Tabomeccles,  scenopegia,  come! Shamwork,  be  in  our  scheining!  And  let  every  crisscouple  be  so crosscomplimentary,  little  eggons,  youlk  and  meelk,  in  a  farbiger pancosmos.  With  a  hottyhammyum  all  round.  Gudstruce!
Yet  is  no  body  present  here  which  was  not  there  before.  Only is  order  othered.  Nought  is  nulled.  Fuitfiatl
Lo,  the  laud  of  laurens  now  orielising  benedictively  when saint  and  sage  have  said  their  say.
A  spathe  of  calyptrous  glume  involucrumines  the  perinanthean Amenta:  fungoalgaceous  muscafilicial  graminopalmular  plan- teon;  of  increasing,  livivorous,  feelful  thinkamalinks;  luxuriotia- ting  everywhencewithersoever  among  skullhullows  and  charnel- cysts  of  a  weedwastewoldwevild  when  Ralph  the  Retriever ranges  to  jawrode  his  knuts  knuckles  and  her  theas  thighs;  one- gugulp  down  of  the  nauseous  forere  brarkfarsts  oboboomaround and  you're  as  paint  and  spickspan  as  a  rainbow;  wreathe  the  bowl to  rid  the  bowel;  no  runcure,  no  rank  heat,  sir;  amess  in  amullium; chlorid  cup.
Health,  chalce,  endnessnessessity !  Arrive,  likkypuggers,  in a  poke!  The  folgor  of  the  frightfools  is  olympically  optimo- minous;  there  is  bound  to  be  a  lovleg  day  for  mirrages  in  the open;  Murnane  and  Aveling  are  undertoken  to  berry  that  ort- chert:  provided  that.  You  got  to  make  good  that  breachsuit, seamer.  You  going  to  haulm  port  houlm,  toilermaster.  You  yet must  get  up  to  kill  (nonpar ticular).  You  still  stand  by  and  do  as hit  (private).  While  for  yous,  Jasminia  Aruna  and  all  your  likers, affinitatively  must  it  be  by  you  elected  if  Monogynes  his  is  or hers  Diander,  the  tubous,  limbersome  and  nectarial.  Owned  or
613
grazeheifer,  ethel  or  bonding.  Mopsus  or  Gracchus,  all  your horodities  will  incessantlament  be  coming  back  from  the  Annone. Wishwashwhose,  Ormepierre  Lodge,  Doone  of  the  Drumes, blanches  bountifully  and  nightsend  made  up,  every  article  lather- ing leaving  several  rinsings  so  as  each  rinse  results  with  a  dap- perent  rolle,  cuffs  for  meek  and  chokers  for  sheek  and  a  kink  in the  pacts  for  namby.  Forbeer,  forbear!  For  nought  that  is  has bane.  In  moumenslaund.  Themes  have  thimes  and  habit  reburns. To  flame  in  you.  Ardor  vigor  forders  order.  Since  ancient  was our  living  is  in  possible  to  be.  Delivered  as.  Caffirs  and  culls  and onceagain  overalls,  the  fittest  surviva  lives  that  blued,  iorn  and storridge  can  make  them.  Whichus  all  claims.  Clean.  Whenast- cleeps.  Close.  And  the  mannormillor  clipperclappers.  Noxt.  Doze.
Fennsense,  finnsonse,  awom!  Tuck  upp  those  wide  shorts. The  pink  of  the  busket  for  sheer  give.  Peeps.  Stand  up  to  hard ware  and  step  into  style.  If  you  soil  may,  puett,  guett  me  prives. For  newmanmaun  set  a  marge  to  the  merge  of  unnotions.  Inni- tion  wons  agame.
What  has  gone.'^  How  it  ends.'^
Begin  to  forget  it.  It  will  remember  itself  from  every  sides,  with all  gestures,  in  each  our  word.  Today's  truth,  tomorrow's  trend. Forget,  remember!
Have  we  cherished  expectations.'^  Are  we  for  liberty  of  peru- siveness.'*  Whyafter  what  forewhere.'^  A  plainplanned  liffeyism assemblements  Eblania's  conglomerate  horde.  By  dim  deity  Deva.
Forget!
Our  wholemole  mill  wheeling  vicociclometer,  a  tetradoma- tional  gazebocroticon  (the  "Mamma  Lujah"  known  to  every schoolboy  scandaller,be  he  Matty,  Marky,  Lukey  or  John-a- Donk),  autokinatonetically  preprovided  with  a  clappercoupling smeltingworks  exprogressive  process,  (for  the  farmer,  his  son  and their  homely  codes,  known  as  eggburst,  eggblend,  eggburial  and hatch-as-hatch  can)  receives  through  a  portal  vein  the  dialytically separated  elements  of  precedent  decomposition  for  the  verypet- purpose  of  subsequent  recombination  so  that  the  heroticisms, catastrophes  and  eccentricities  transmitted  by  the  ancient  legacy
614
r
! i i
of  the  past,  type  by  tope,  letter  from  litter,  word  at  ward,  with sendence  of  sundance,  since  the  days  of  Plooney  and  Colum- cellas  when  Giacinta,  Pervenche  and  Margaret  swayed  over  the all-too-ghoulish  and  illyrical  and  innumantic  in  our  mutter  nation, all,  anastomosically  assimilated  and  preteridentified  paraidioti- cally,  in  fact,  the  sameold  gamebold  adomic  structure  of  our Finnius  the  old  One,  as  highly  charged  with  electrons  as  hophaz- ards  can  effective  it,  may  be  there  for  you,  Cockalooralooraloo- menos,  when  cup,  platter  and  pot  come  piping  hot,  as  sure  as herself  pits  hen  to  paper  and  there's  scribings  scrawled  on  eggs. Of  cause,  so !  And  in  effect,  as?
Dear.  And  we  go  on  to  Dirtdump.  Reverend.  May  we  add majesty.'*  Well,  we  have  frankly  enjoyed  more  than  anything these  secret  workings  of  natures  (thanks  ever  for  it,  we  humbly pray)  and,  well,  was  really  so  denighted  of  this  lights  time. Mucksrats  which  bring  up  about  uhrweckers  they  will  come  to know  good.  Yon  clouds  will  soon  disappear  looking  forwards at  a  fine  day.  The  honourable  Master  Sarmon  they  should  be first  born  like  he  was  with  a  twohangled  warpon  and  it  was between  Williamstown  and  the  Mairrion  Ailesbury  on  the  top of  the  longcar,  as  merrily  we  rolled  along,  we  think  of  him  looking at  us  yet  as  if  to  pass  away  in  a  cloud.  When  he  woke  up  in  a sweat  besidus  it  was  to  pardon  him,  goldylocks,  me  having  an airth,  but  he  daydreamsed  we  had  a  lovelyt  face  for  a  pulltomine. Back  we  were  by  the  jerk  of  a  beam  stark,  backed  in  paladays  last, on  the  brinks  of  the  wobblish,  the  man  what  never  put  a  dramn in  the  swags  but  milk  from  a  national  cowse.  That  was  the  prick of  the  spindle  to  me  that  gave  me  the  keys  to  dreamland.  Sneakers in  the  grass,  keep  off!  If  we  were  to  tick  off  all  that  cafflers  head, whisperers  for  his  accomodation,  the  me  craws,  namely,  and  their bacon  what  harmed  butter!  It's  margarseen  oil.  Thinthin  thin- thin.  Stringstly  is  it  forbidden  by  the  honorary  tenth  commend- mant  to  shall  not  bare  full  sweetness  against  a  nighboor's  wiles. What  those  slimes  up  the  cavern  door  around  you,  keenin,  (the lies  is  coming  out  on  them  frecklefully)  had  the  shames  to  suggest can  we  ever.'*  Never!  So  may  the  low  forget  him  their  trespasses
615
against  Molloyd  O'Reilly,  that  hugglebeddy  fann,  now  about  to get  up,  the  hartiest  that  Coolock  ever!  A  nought  in  nought Eirinishmhan,  called  Ervigsen  by  his  first  mate.  May  all  similar douters  of  our  oldhame  story  have  that  fancied  widming!  For a  pipe  of  twist  or  a  slug  of  Hibernia  metal  we  could  let  out  and, by  jings,  someone  would  make  a  carpus  of  somebody  with  the greatest  of  pleasure  by  private  shootings.  And  in  contravention  to the  constancy  of  chemical  combinations  not  enough  of  all  the slatters  of  him  left  for  Peeter  the  Picker  to  make  their  threi  sevelty filfths  of  a  man  out  of.  Good  wheat!  How  delitious  for  the  three Sulvans  of  Dulkey  and  what  a  sellpriceget  the  two  Peris  of Monacheena!  Sugars  of  lead  for  the  chloras  ashpots!  Peace!  He possessing  from  a  child  of  highest  valency  for  our  privileged beholdings  ever  complete  hairy  of  chest,  hamps  and  eyebags  in pursuance  to  salesladies'  affectionate  company.  His  real  devotes. Wriggling  reptiles,  take  notice!  Whereas  we  exgust  all  such sprinkling  snigs.  They  are  pestituting  the  whole  time  never  with standing  we  simply  agree  upon  the  committee  of  amusance!  Or could  above  bring  under  same  notice  for  it  to  be  able  to  be  seen.
About  that  coerogenal  hun  and  his  knowing  the  size  of  an  egg- cup.  First  he  was  a  skulksman  at  one  time  and  then  Cloon's  fired him  through  guff.  Be  sage  about  sausages!  Stuttutistics  shows with  he's  heacups  of  teatables  the  old  firm's  fatspitters  are  most eatenly  appreciated  by  metropolonians.  While  we  should  like  to drag  attentions  to  our  Wolkmans  Cumsensation  Act.  The  magnets of  our  midst  being  foisted  upon  by  a  plethorace  of  parachutes. Did  speece  permit  the  bad  example  of  setting  before  the  military to  the  best  of  our  belief  in  the  earliest  wish  of  the  one  in  mind  was the  mitigation  of  the  king's  evils.  And  how  he  staired  up  the step  after  it's  the  power  of  the  gait.  His  giantstand  of  manun- known.  No  brad  wishy  washy  wathy  wanted  neither!  Once  you are  balladproof  you  are  unperceable  to  haily,  icy  and  missile- throes.  Order  now  before  we  reach  Ruggers'  Rush!  As  we  now must  close  hoping  to  Saint  Laurans  all  in  the  best.  Moral.  Mrs Stores  Humphreys:  So  you  are  expecting  trouble,  Pondups,  from the  domestic  service  questioned.'^  Mr  Stores  Humphreys:  Just  as
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there  is  a  good  in  even,  Levia,  my  cheek  is  a  compleet  bleenk. Plumb.  Meaning:  one  two  four.  Finckers.  Up  the  hind  hose  of hizzars.  Whereapon  our  best  again  to  a  hundred  and  eleven  ploose one  thousand  and  one  other  blessings  will  now  concloose  thoose epoostles  to  your  great  kindest,  well,  for  all  at  trouble  to  took. We  are  all  at  home  in  old  Fintona,  thank  Danis,  for  ourselfsake, that  direst  of  housebonds,  whool  wheel  be  true  unto  lovesend so  long  as  we  has  a  pockle  full  of  brass.  Impossible  to  remember persons  in  improbable  to  forget  position  places.  Who  would pellow  his  head  off  to  conjure  up  a,  well,  particularly  mean  stinker like  funn  make  called  Foon  MacCrawl  brothers,  mystery  man  of the  pork  martyrs?  Force  in  giddersh!  Tomothy  and  Lorcan,  the bucket  Toolers,  both  are  Timsons  now  they've  changed  their characticuls  during  their  blackout.  Conan  Boyles  will  pudge  the daylives  out  through  him, if  theyare  correctlyinformed.  Music,  me ouldstrow,  please!  We'll  have  a  brand  rehearsal.  Fing!  One  must simply  laugh.  Fing  him  aging !  Good  licks !  Well,  this  ought  to  weke him  to  make  up.  He'll  want  all  his  fury  gutmurdherers  to  redress him.  Gilly  in  the  gap.  The  big  bad  old  sprowly  all  uttering  foon ! Has  now  stuffed  last  podding.  His  fooneral  will  sneak  pleace  by creeps  o'clock  toosday.  Kingen  will  commen.  Allso  brewbeer. Pens  picture  at  Manchem  House  Horsegardens  shown  in  Morn- ing post  as  from  Boston  transcripped.  Femelles  will  be  preadam- inant  as  from  twentyeight  to  twelve.  To  hear  that  lovelade parson,  of  case,  of  a  bawl  gentlemale,  pour  forther  moracles.  Don't forget!  The  grand  fooneral  will  now  shortly  occur.  Remember. The  remains  must  be  removed  before  eaght  hours  shorp.  With earnestly  conceived  hopes.  So  help  us  to  witness  to  this  day  to hand  in  sleep.  From  of  Mayasdaysed  most  duteoused.
Well,  here's  lettering  you  erronymously  anent  other  clerical fands  allieged  herewith.  I  wisht  I  wast  be  that  dumb  tyke  and  he'd wish  it  was  me  yonther  heel.  How  about  it.^  The  sweetest  song in  the  world!  Our  shape  as  a  juvenile  being  much  admired  from the  first  with  native  copper  locks.  Referring  to  the  Married Woman's  Improperty  Act  a  correspondent  paints  out  that  the Swees  Aubumn  vogue  is  hanging  down  straith  fitting  to  her
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innocenth  eyes.  O,  felicious  coolpose !  If  all  theMacCrawls  would only  handle  virgils  like  Armsworks,  Limited !  That's  handsel  for gerdes!  Never  mind  Micklemans!  Chat  us  instead!  The  cad with  the  pope's  wife,  Lily  Kinsella,  who  became  the  wife  of Mr  Sneakers  for  her  good  name  in  the  hands  of  the  kissing solicitor,  will  now  engage  in  attentions.  Just  a  prinche  for  to- night! Pale  bellies  our  mild  cure,  back  and  streaky  ninepace. The  thicks  off  Bully's  Acre  was  got  up  by  Sully.  The  Boot  lane brigade.  And  she  had  a  certain  medicine  brought  her  in  a licenced  victualler's  bottle.  Shame!  Thrice  shame!  We  are advised  the  waxy  is  at  the  present  in  the  Sweeps  hospital  and that  he  may  never  come  out!  Only  look  through  your  leather- box  one  day  with  P.C.Q.  about  4.32  or  at  8  and  22.5  with  the quart  of  scissions  masters  and  clerk  and  the  bevyhum  of  Marie Reparatrices  for  a  good  allround  sympowdhericks  purge,  full  view, to  be  surprised  to  see  under  the  grand  piano  Lily  on  the  sofa  (and a  lady!)  pulling  a  low  and  then  he'd  begin  to  jump  a  little  bit  to find  out  what  goes  on  when  love  walks  in  besides  the  solicitous bussness  by  kissing  and  looking  into  a  mirror.
That  we  were  treated  not  very  grand  when  the  police  and everybody  is  all  bowing  to  us  when  we  go  out  in  all  directions on  Wanterlond  Road  with  my  cubarola  glide.'^  And,  personably speaking,  they  can  make  their  beaux  to  my  alee,  as  Hillary  Allen sang  to  the  opennine  knighters.  Item,  we  never  were  chained  to  a chair,  and,  bitem,  no  widower  whother  soever  followed  us  about with  a  fork  on  Yankskilling  Day.  Meet  a  great  civilian  (proud lives  to  him !)  who  is  gentle  as  a  mushroom  and  a  very  affectable when  he  always  sits  forenenst  us  for  his  wet  while  to  all  whom it  may  concern  Sully  is  a  thug  from  all  he  drunk  though  he  is  a rattling  fine  bootmaker  in  his  profession.  Would  we  were  here- arther  to  lodge  our  complaint  on  sergeant  Laraseny  in  consequence of  which  in  such  steps  taken  his  health  would  be  constably  broken into  potter's  pance  which  would  be  the  change  of  his  life  by  a Nollwelshian  which  has  been  oxbelled  out  of  crispianity.
Well,  our  talks  are  coming  to  be  resumed  by  more  polite  con- versation with  a  huntered  persent  human  over  the  natural  bestness
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of  pleisure  after  his  good  few  mugs  of  humbedumb  and  shag. While  for  whoever  likes  diat  urogynal  pan  of  cakes  one  apiece  it  is thanks,  beloved,  to  Adam,  our  former  first  Finnlatter  and  our grocerest  churcher,  as  per  Grippiths'  varuations,  for  his  beautiful crossmess  parzel.
Well,  we  simply  like  their  demb  cheeks,  the  Rathgarries, wagging  here  about  around  the  rhythms  in  me  amphybed  and  he being  as  bothered  that  he  pausably  could  by  the  fallth  of  hampty damp.  Certified  reformed  peoples,  we  may  add  to  this  stage,  are proptably  saying  to  quite  agreeable  deef.  Here  gives  your answer,  pigs  and  scuts !  Hence  we've  lived  in  two  worlds.  He  is another  he  what  stays  under  the  himp  of  holth.  The  herewaker of  our  hamefame  is  his  real  namesame  who  will  get  himself  up and  erect,  confident  and  heroic  when  but,  young  as  of  old,  for  my daily  comfreshenall,  a  wee  one  woos.
Alma  Luvia,  Pollabella. P.S.  Soldier  Rollo's  sweetheart.  And  she's  about  fetted  up  now with  nonsery  reams.  And  rigs  out  in  regal  rooms  with  the  ritzies. Rags!  Worns  out.  But  she's  still  her  deckhuman  amber  too.
Soft  morning,  city!  Lsp!  I  am  leafy  speafing.  Lpf!  Folty  and folty  all  the  nights  have  failed  on  to  long  my  hair.  Not  a  sound, falling.  Lispn!  No  wind  no  word.  Only  a  leaf,  just  a  leaf  and then  leaves.  The  woods  are  fond  always.  As  were  we  their  babes in.  And  robins  in  crews  so.  It  is  for  me  goolden  wending. Unless.'^  Away!  Rise  up,  man  of  the  booths,  you  have  slept  so long!  Or  is  it  only  so  mesleems.''  On  your  pondered  palm. Reclined  from  cape  to  pede.  With  pipe  on  bowl.  Terce  for  a fiddler,  sixt  for  makmerriers,  none  for  a  Cole.  Rise  up  now  and aruse!  Norvena's  over.  I  am  leafy,  your  goolden,  so  you  called me,  may  me  life,  yea  your  goolden,  silve  me  solve,  exsogerraider ! You  did  so  drool.  I  was  so  sharm.  But  there's  a  great  poet  in  you too.  Stout  Stokes  would  take  you  offly.  So  has  he  as  bored  me to  slump.  But  am  good  and  rested.  Taks  to  you,  toddy,  tan  ye! Yawhawaw.  Helpunto  min,  helpas  vin.  Here  is  your  shirt,  the  day one,  come  back.  The  stock,  your  collar.  Also  your  double  brogues. A  comforter  as  well.  And  here  your  iverol  and  everthelest  your
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umbr.  And  stand  up  tall!  Straight.  I  want  to  see  you  looking  fine for  me.  With  your  brandnew  big  green  belt  and  all.  Blooming  in the  very  lotust  and  second  to  nill,  Budd!  When  you're  in  the buckly  shuit  Rosensharonals  near  did  for  you.  Fiftyseven  and three,  cosh,  with  the  bulge.  Proudpurse  Alby  with  his  pooraroon Eireen,  they'll.  Pride,  comfy tousness,  enevy!  You  make  me  think of  a  wonderdecker  I  once.  Or  somebalt  thet  sailder,  the  man  me- gallant,  with  the  bangled  ears.  Or  an  earl  was  he,  at  Lucan.'^  Or, no,  it's  the  Iren  duke's  I  mean.  Or  somebrey  erse  from  the  Dark Countries.  Come  and  let  us !  We  always  said  we'd.  And  go  abroad. Rathgreany  way  perhaps.  The  childher  are  still  fast.  There  is  no school  today.  Them  boys  is  so  contrairy.  The  Head  does  be worrying  himself  Heel  trouble  and  heal  travel.  Galliver  and Gellover.  Unless  they  changes  by  mistake.  I  seen  the  likes  in the  twinngling  of  an  aye.  Som.  So  oft.  Sim.  Time  after  time. The  sehm  asnuh.  Two  bredder  as  doffered  as  nors  in  soun.  When one  of  him  sighs  or  one  of  him  cries  'tis  you  all  over.  No  peace at  all.  Maybe  it's  those  two  old  crony  aunts  held  them  out  to  the water  front.  Queer  Mrs  Quickenough  and  odd  Miss  Dodd- pebble.  And  when  them  two  has  had  a  good  few  there  isn't  much more  dirty  clothes  to  publish.  From  the  Laundersdale  Minssions. One  chap  googling  the  holyboy's  thingabib  and  this  lad  wetting his  widdle.  You  were  pleased  as  Punch,  recitating  war  exploits and  pearse  orations  to  them  jackeen  gapers.  But  that  night  after, all  you  were  wanton !  Bidding  me  do  this  and  that  and  the  other. And  blowing  off  to  me,  hugly  Judsys,  what  wouldn't  you  give to  have  a  girl!  Your  wish  was  mewill.  And,  lo,  out  of  a  sky!  The way  I  too.  But  her,  you  wait.  Eager  to  choose  is  left  to  her  shade. If  she  had  only  more  matcher's  wit.  Findlings  makes  runaways, runaways  a  stray.  She's  as  merry  as  the  gricks  still.  'Twould  be sore  should  ledden  sorrow.  I'll  wait.  And  I'll  wait.  And  then  if all  goes.  What  will  be  is.  Is  is.  But  let  them.  Slops  hospodch  and the  slusky  slut  too.  He's  for  thee  what  she's  for  me.  Dogging  you round  cove  and  haven  and  teaching  me  the  perts  of  speech.  If  you spun  your  yarns  to  him  on  the  swishbarque  waves  I  was  spelling my  yearns  to  her  over  cottage  cake.  We'll  not  disturb  their  sleep-
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ing  duties.  Let  besoms  be  bosuns.  It's  Phoenix,  dear.  And  the flame  is,  hear!  Let's  our  joornee  saintomichael  make  it.  Since  the lausafire  has  lost  and  the  book  of  the  depth  is.  Closed.  Come! Step  out  of  your  shell!  Hold  up  you  free  fing!  Yes.  We've  light enough.  I  won't  take  our  laddy's  lampern.  For  them  four  old windbags  of  Gustsofairy  to  be  blowing  at.  Nor  you  your  ruck- sunck.  To  bring  all  the  dannymans  out  after  you  on  the  hike.  Send Arctur  guiddus!  Isma!  Sft!  It  is  the  softest  morning  that  ever  I can  ever  remember  me.  But  she  won't  rain  showerly,  our  lima.  Yet. Until  it's  the  time.  And  me  and  you  have  made  our.  The  sons  of bursters  won  in  the  games.  Still  I'll  take  me  owld  Finvara  for  my shawlders.  The  trout  will  be  so  fine  at  brookfisht.  With  a  taste of  roly  polony  from  Blugpuddels  after.  To  bring  out  the  tang  of the  tay.  Is't  you  fain  for  a  roost  brood. Oaxmealturn,  all  out  of the  woolpalls !  And  then  all  the  chippy  young  cuppinjars  clutter- ing round  us,  clottering  for  their  creams.  Crying,  me,  grownup sister!  Are  me  not  truly .'^  Lst!  Only  but,  theres  a  but,  you  must buy  me  a  fine  new  girdle  too,  nolly.  When  next  you  go  to  Market Norwall.  They're  all  saying  I  need  it  since  the  one  from  Isaacsen's slooped  its  line.  Mrknrk.'^  Fy  arthou !  Come !  Give  me  your  great bearspaw,  padder  avilky,  fol  a  miny  tiny.  Dola.  Mineninecy- handsy,  in  the  languo  of  flows.  That's  Jorgen  Jargonsen.  But  you understood,  nodst.^  I  always  know  by  your  brights  and  shades. Reach  down.  A  lil  mo.  So.  Draw  back  your  glave.  Hot  and  hairy, hugon,  is  your  hand !  Here's  where  the  falskin  begins.  Smoos  as an  infams.  One  time  you  told  you'd  been  burnt  in  ice.  And  one time  it  was  chemicalled  after  you  taking  a  lifeness.  Maybe  that's why  you  hold  your  hodd  as  if.  And  people  thinks  you  missed  the scaflbld.  Of  fell  design.  I'll  close  me  eyes.  So  not  to  see.  Or  see  only a  youth  in  his  florizel,  a  boy  in  innocence,  peeling  a  twig,  a  child  be- side a  weeny  white  steed.  The  child  we  all  love  to  place  our  hope  in for  ever.  All  men  has  done  something.  Be  the  time  they've  come  to the  weight  of  old  fletch.  We'll  lave  it.  So.  We  will  take  our  walk before  in  the  timpul  they  ring  the  earthly  bells.  In  the  church by  the  hearseyard.  Pax  Goodmens  will.  Or  the  birds  start  their treestirm  shindy.  Look,  there  are  yours  off",  high  on  high !  And
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cooshes,  sweet  good  luck  tJiey're  cawing  you,  Coole!  You  see, they're  as  white  as  the  riven  snae.  For  us.  Next  peaters  poll  you will  be  dieted  or  Fm  not  your  elicitous  bribe.  The  Kinsella woman's  man  will  never  reduce  me.  A  MacGarath  O'CuUagh O'Muirk  MacFewney  sookadoodling  and  sweepacheeping  round the  lodge  of  Fjorn  na  Galla  of  the  Trumpets!  It's  like  potting  the po  to  shambe  on  the  dresser  or  tamming  Uncle  Tim's  Caubeen on  to  the  brows  of  a  Viker  Eagle.  Not  such  big  strides,  buddy foddy!  You'll  crush  me  antilopes  I  saved  so  long  for.  They're Penisole's.  And  the  two  goodiest  shoeshoes.  It  is  hardly  a  Knut's mile  or  seven,  possumbotts.  It  is  very  good  for  the  health  of  a morning.  With  Buahbuah.  A  gentle  motion  all  around.  As leisure  paces.  And  the  helpyourselftoastrool  cure's  easy.  It  seems so  long  since,  ages  since.  As  if  you  had  been  long  far  away. Afartodays,  afeartonights,  and  me  as  with  you  in  thadark.  You will  tell  me  some  time  if  I  can  believe  its  all.  You  know  where I  am  bringing  you.'^  You  remember.^  When  I  ran  berrying  after bucks  and  haws.  With  you  drawing  out  great  aims  to  hazel  me from  the  hummock  with  your  sling.  Our  cries.  I  could  lead  you there  and  I  still  by  you  in  bed.  Les  go  dutc  to  Danegreven, nos.'^  Not  a  soul  but  ourselves.  Time.'^  We  have  loads  on  our hangs.  Till  Gilligan  and  Halligan  call  again  to  hooligan.  And the  rest  of  the  guns.  Sullygan  eight,  from  left  to  right.  Olobobo, ye  foxy  theagues!  The  moskors  thought  to  ball  you  out.  Or the  Wald  Unicorns  Master,  Bugley  Captain,  from  the  Naul,  drawls up  by  the  door  with  the  Honourable  Whilp  and  the  Reverend Poynter  and  the  two  Lady  Pagets  of  Tallyhaugh,  Ballyhuntus, in  their  riddletight  raiding  hats  for  to  lift  a  hereshealth  to  their robost,  the  Stag,  evers  the  Carlton  hart.  And  you  needn't  host out  with  your  duck  and  your  duty,  capapole,  while  they  reach him  the  glass  he  never  starts  to  finish.  Clap  this  wis  on  your  poll and  stick  this  in  your  ear,  wiggly!  Beauties  don't  answer  and  the rich  never  pays.  If  you  were  the  enlarged  they'd  hue  in  cry  you, Heathtown,  Harbourstown,  Snowtown,  Four  Knocks,  Fleming- town,  Bodingtown  to  the  Ford  of  Fyne  on  Delvin.  How  they housed  to  house  you  after  the  Platonic  garlens!  And  all  because,
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loosed  in  her  reflexes,  she  seem  she  seen  Ericoricori  coricome huntsome  with  his  three  poach  dogs  aleashing  him.  But  you  came safe  through.  Enough  of  that  horner  corner!  And  old  mutther- goosip!  We  might  call  on  the  Old  Lord,  what  do  you  say?  There's something  tells  me.  He  is  a  fine  sport.  Like  the  score  and  a  moighty went  before  him.  And  a  proper  old  promnentory.  His  door always  open.  For  a  newera's  day.    Much  as  your  own  is.  You invoiced  him  last  Eatster  so  he  ought  to  give  us  hockockles  and everything.  Remember  to  take  off  your  white  hat,  ech.'^  When we  come  in  the  presence.  And  say  hoothoothoo,  ithmuthisthy ! His  is  house  of  laws.  And  FU  drop  my  graciast  kertssey  too.  If the  Ming  Tung  no  go  bo  to  me  homage  me  hamage  kow  bow tow  to  the  Mong  Tang.  Ceremonialness  to  stand  lowest  place be!  Saying:  What'll  you  take  to  link  to  light  a  pike  on  porpoise, plaise.'^  He  might  knight  you  an  Armor  elsor  daub  you  the  first cheap  magyerstrape.  Remember  Bomthomanew  vim  vam  vom Hungerig.  Hoteform,  chain  and  epolettes,  botherbumbose.  And ril  be  your  aural  eyeness.  But  we  vain.  Plain  fancies.  It's  in  the castles  air.  My  currant  bread's  full  of  sillymottocraft.  Aloof  is anoof.  We  can  take  or  leave.  He's  reading  his  ruffs.  You'll  know our  way  from  there  surely,  Flura's  way.  Where  once  we  led  so many  car  couples  have  follied  since.  Clatchka!  Giving  Shaugh- nessy's  mare  the  hillymount  of  her  life.  With  her  strulldeburg- ghers!  Hnmn  hnmn!  The  rollcky  road  adondering.  We  can  sit us  down  on  the  heathery  benn,  me  on  you,  in  quolm  uncon- sciounce.  To  scand  the  arising.  Out  from  Drumleek.  It  was  there Evora  told  me  I  had  best.  If  I  ever.  When  the  moon  of  mourning is  set  and  gone.  Over  Glinaduna.  Lonu  nula.  Ourselves,  oursouls alone.  At  the  site  of  salvocean.  And  watch  would  the  letter  you're wanting  be  coming  may  be.  And  cast  ashore.  That  I  prays  for be  mains  of  me  draims.  Scratching  it  and  patching  at  with  a prompt  from  a  primer.  And  what  scrips  of  nutsnolleges  I  pecked up  me  meself.  Every  letter  is  a  hard  but  yours  sure  is  the  hardest crux  ever.  Hack  an  axe,  hook  an  oxe,  hath  an  an,  heth  hith  ences. But  once  done,  dealt  and  delivered,  tattat,  you're  on  the  map. Rased  on  traumscrapt  from  Maston,  Boss.  After  rounding  his
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world  of  ancient  days.  Carried  in  a  caddy  or  screwed  and  corked. On  his  mugisstosst  surface.  With  a  bob,  bob,  bottledby.  Blob. When  the  waves  give  up  yours  the  soil  may  for  me.  Sometime then,  somewhere  there,  I  wrote  me  hopes  and  buried  the  page when  I  heard  Thy  voice,  ruddery  dunner,  so  loud  that  none  but, and  left  it  to  lie  till  a  kissmiss  coming.  So  content  me  now.  Lss. Unbuild  and  be  buildn  our  bankaloan  cottage  there  and  we'll cohabit  respectable.  The  Gowans,  ser,  for  Medem,  me.  With acute  bubel  runtoer  for  to  pippup  and  gopeep  where  the  sterres be.  Just  to  see  would  we  hear  how  Jove  and  the  peers  talk.  Amid the  soleness.  Tilltop,  bigmaster!  Scale  the  summit!  You're  not so  giddy  any  more.  All  your  graundplotting  and  the  little  it brought!  Humps,  when  you  hised  us  and  dumps,  when  you doused  us!  But  sarra  one  of  me  cares  a  brambling  ram,  pomp porteryark!  On  limpidy  marge  I've  made  me  hoom.  Park  and  a pub  for  me.  Only  don't  start  your  stunts  of  Donachie's  yeards agoad  again.  I  could  guessp  to  her  name  who  tuckt  you  that  one,  tuf- nut!  Bold  bet  backwords.  For  the  loves  of  sinfintins!  Before  the naked  universe.  And  the  bailby  pleasemarm  rincing  his  eye!  One of  these  fine  days,  lewdy  culler,  you  must  redoform  again. Blessed  shield  Martin!  Softly  so.  I  am  so  exquisitely  pleased  about the  loveleavest  dress  I  have.  You  will  always  call  me  Leafiest, won't  you,  dowling.'*  WordherfhuU  Ohldhbhoy!  And  you  won't urbjunk  to  me  parafume,  oiled  of  kolooney,  with  a  spot  of  mara- shy.  Sm!  It's  Alpine  Smile  from  Yesthers  late  Yhesters.  I'm  in every  wince  nasturtls.  Even  in  Houlth's  nose.  Medeurscodeignus ! Astale  of  astoun.  Grand  owld  marauder!  If  I  knew  who  you  are! When  that  hark  from  the  air  said  it  was  Captain  Fin  sen  makes  cum- hulments  and  was  mayit  pressing  for  his  suit  I  said  are  you  there here's  nobody  here  only  me.  But  I  near  fell  off  the  pile  of  samples. As  if  your  tinger  winged  ting  to  me  hear.  Is  that  right  what your  brothermilk  in  Bray  bes  telling  the  district  you  were  bragged up  by  Brostal  because  your  parents  would  be  always  tumbling into  his  foulplace  and  losing  her  pentacosts  after  drinking  their pledges.'^  Howsomendeavour,  you  done  me  fine!  The  only  man was  ever  known  could  eat  the  crushts  of  lobsters.  Our  native
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night  when  you  twicetook  me  for  some  Marienne  Sherry  and then  your  Jermyn  cousin  who  signs  hers  with  exes  and  the  beard- wig  I  found  in  your  Clarksome  bag.  Pharaops  you'll  play  you're the  king  of  Aeships.  You  certainly  make  the  most  royal  of  noises. I  will  tell  you  all  sorts  of  makeup  things,  strangerous.  And  show you  to  every  simple  storyplace  we  pass.  Cadmillersjolly^  Bellevenue^ Wellcrom^  Quid  Superabit^  villities  valleties.  Change  the  plates for  the  next  course  of  murphies!  Spendlove's  still  there  and  the canon  going  strong  and  so  is  Claffey's  habits  endurtaking  and our  parish  pomp's  a  great  warrent.  But  you'll  have  to  ask  that same  four  that  named  them  is  always  snugging  in  your  bar- salooner,  saying  they're  the  best  relicts  of  Conal  O 'Daniel  and writing  Finglas  since  the  Flood,  That'll  be  some  kingly  work  in  pro- gress. But  it's  by  this  route  he'll  come  some  morrow.  And  I can  signal  you  all  flint  and  fern  are  rasstling  as  we  go  by.  And you'll  sing  thumb  a  bit  and  then  wise  your  selmon  on  it.  It  is  all so  often  and  still  the  same  to  me.  Snf?  Only  turf,  wick  dear!  Clane turf.  You've  never  forgodden  batt  on  tarf,  have  you,  at  broin burroow,  what.^  Mch?  Why,  them's  the  muchrooms,  come  up during  the  night.  Look,  agres  of  roofs  in  parshes.  Dom  on  dam, dim  in  dym.  And  a  capital  part  for  Olympics  to  ply  at.  Steadyon, Cooloosus !  Mind  your  stride  or  you'll  knock.  While  I'm  dodging the  dustbins.  Look  what  I  found!  A  Until  pea.  And  look  at  here! This  cara  weeseed.  Pretty  mites,  my  sweetthings,  was  they  poor- loves  abandoned  by  wholawidey  world.'^  Neighboulotts  for  new- town.  The  Eblanamagna  you  behazyheld  loomening  up  out  of  the dumblynass.  But  the  still  sama  sitta.  I've  lapped  so  long.  As  you said.  It  fair  takes.  If  I  lose  my  breath  for  a  minute  or  two  don't speak,  remember!  Once  it  happened,  so  it  may  again.  Why  I'm all  these  years  within  years  in  soffran,  allbeleaved.  To  hide  away the  tear,  the  parted.  It's  thinking  of  all.  The  brave  that  gave  their. The  fair  that  wore.  All  them  that's  gunne.  I'll  begin  again  in  a jiffey.  The  nik  of  a  nad.  How  glad  you'll  be  I  waked  you!  My! How  well  you'll  feel!  For  ever  after.  First  we  turn  by  the  vagurin here  and  then  it's  gooder.  So  side  by  side,  turn  agate,  wedding- town,  laud  men  of  Londub!  I  only  hope  whole  the  heavens  sees
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us.  For  I  feel  I  could  near  to  faint  away.  Into  the  deeps.  Anna- mores  leep.  Let  me  lean,  just  a  lea,  if  you  le,  bowldstrong  big- tider.  Allgearls  is  wea.  At  times.  So.  While  you're  adamant  evar. Wrhps,  that  wind  as  if  out  of  norewere!  As  on  the  night  of  the Apophanypes.  Jumpst  shootst  throbbst  into  me  mouth  like  a bogue  and  arrohs!  Ludegude  of  the  Lashlanns,  how  he  whips me  cheeks!  Sea,  seal  Here,  weir,  reach,  island,  bridge.  Where  you meet  I.  The  day.  Remember!  Why  there  that  moment  and  us two  only.'^  I  was  but  teen,  a  tiler's  dot.  The  swankysuits  was boosting  always,  sure  him,  he  was  like  to  me  fad.  But  the  swag- gerest  swell  off  Shackvulle  Strutt.  And  the  fiercest  freaky  ever followed  a  pining  child  round  the  sluppery  table  with  a  forkful of  fat.  But  a  king  of  whistlers.  Scieoula!  When  he'd  prop  me  atlas against  his  goose  and  light  our  two  candles  for  our  singers  duohs on  the  sewingmachine.  I'm  sure  he  squirted  juice  in  his  eyes  to make  them  flash  for  flightening  me.  Still  and  all  he  was  awful fond  to  me.  Who'll  search  for  Find  Me  Colours  now  on  the  hilly- droops  of  Vikloefells.'^  But  I  read  in  Tobecontinued's  tale  that  while blubles  blows  there'll  still  be  sealskers.  There'll  be  others  but  non so  for  me.  Yed  he  never  knew  we  seen  us  before.  Night  after night.  So  that  I  longed  to  go  to.  And  still  v/ith  all.  One  time  you'd stand  fornenst  me,  fairly  laughing,  in  your  bark  and  tan  billows  of branches  for  to  fan  me  coolly.  And  I'd  lie  as  quiet  as  a  moss.  And one  time  you'd  rush  upon  me,  darkly  roaring,  like  a  great  black shadow  with  a  sheeny  stare  to  perce  me  rawly.  And  I'd  frozen up  and  pray  for  thawe.  Three  times  in  all.  I  was  the  pet  of  everyone then.  A  princeable  girl.  And  you  were  the  pantymammy's  Vulking Corsergoth.  The  invision  of  Indelond.  And,  by  Thorror,  you looked  it!  My  lips  went  livid  for  from  the  joy  of  fear.  Like  almost now.  How.^  How  you  said  how  you'd  give  me  the  keys  of  me heart.  And  we'd  be  married  till  delth  to  uspart.  And  though  dev do  espart.  O  mine!  Only,  no,  now  it's  me  who's  got  to  give.  As duv  herself  div.  Inn  this  linn.  And  can  it  be  it's  nnow  fforvell.'* Illas !  I  wisht  I  had  better  glances  to  peer  to  you  through  this  bay- light's  growing.  But  you're  changing,  acoolsha,  you're  changing from  me,  I  can  feel.  Or  is  it  me  is.^  I'm  getting  mixed.  Brightening
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up  and  tightening  down.  Yes,  you're  changing,  sonhusband,  and you're  turning,  I  can  feel  you,  for  a  daughterwife  from  the  hills again.  Imlamaya.  And  she  is  coming.  Swimming  in  my  hindmoist. Diveltaking  on  me  tail.  Just  a  whisk  brisk  sly  spry  spink  spank sprint  of  a  thing  theresomere,  saultering.  Saltarella  come  to  her own.  I  pity  your  oldself  I  was  used  to.  Now  a  younger's  there. Try  not  to  part !  Be  happy,  dear  ones !  May  I  be  wrong !  For  she'll be  sweet  for  you  as  I  was  sweet  when  I  came  down  out  of  me mother.  My  great  blue  bedroom,  the  air  so  quiet,  scarce  a  cloud. In  peace  and  silence.  I  could  have  stayed  up  there  for  always  only. It's  something  fails  us.  First  we  feel.  Then  we  fall.  And  let  her  rain now  if  she  likes.  Gently  or  strongly  as  she  likes.  Anyway  let  her rain  for  my  time  is  come.  I  done  me  best  when  I  was  let.  Think- ing always  if  I  go  all  goes.  A  hundred  cares,  a  tithe  of  troubles  and is  there  one  who  understands  me.'^  One  in  a  thousand  of  years  of the  nights.'^  All  me  life  I  have  been  lived  among  them  but  now they  are  becoming  lothed  to  me.  And  I  am  lothing  their  little warm  tricks.  And  lothing  their  mean  cosy  turns.  And  all  the greedy  gushes  out  through  their  small  souls.  And  all  the  lazy leaks  down  over  their  brash  bodies.  How  small  it's  all!  And  me letting  on  to  meself  always.  And  lilting  on  all  the  time.  I  thought you  were  all  glittering  with  the  noblest  of  carriage.  You're  only a  bumpkin.  I  thought  you  the  great  in  all  things,  in  guilt  and  in glory.  You're  but  a  puny.  Home !  My  people  were  not  their  sort out  beyond  there  so  far  as  I  can.  For  all  the  bold  and  bad  and bleary  they  are  blamed,  the  seahags.  No!  Nor  for  all  our  wild dances  in  all  their  wild  din.  I  can  seen  meself  among  them,  alla- niuvia  pulchrabelled.  How  she  was  handsome,  the  wild  Amazia, when  she  would  seize  to  my  other  breast!  And  what  is  she  weird, haughty  Niluna,  that  she  will  snatch  from  my  ownest  hair!  For 'tis  they  are  the  stormies.  Ho  hang!  Hang  ho!  And  the  clash  of our  cries  till  we  spring  to  be  free.  Auravoles,  they  says,  never  heed of  your  name!  But  I'm  loothing  them  that's  here  and  all  I  lothe. Loonely  in  me  loneness.  For  all  their  faults.  I  am  passing  out.  O bitter  ending !  I'll  slip  away  before  they're  up.  They'll  never  see. Nor  know.  Nor  miss  me.  And  it's  old  and  old  it's  sad  and  old  it's
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sad  and  weary  I  go  back  to  you,  my  cold  father,  my  cold  mad father,  my  cold  mad  feary  father,  till  the  near  sight  ^£,the-Jnere size  of  him^  the  moyles  and  moyles  of  it,  moananoaning,  makes  me seasilt  saltsick  and  I  rush,  my  only,  into  your  arms.  I  see  them rising !  Save  me  from  those  therrble  prongs !  Two  more.  Onetwo moremens  more.  So.  Avelaval.  My  leaves Jiave^rifted  from  me. AllJButonejclings^ll.  FU  bear  it  on  me.  To  remind  me  of.  Lff ! So  soft  this  morning,  ours.  Yes.  Carry  me  along,  taddy,  like  you done  through  the  toy  fair!  If  I  seen  him  bearing  down  on  me  now under  whitespread  wings  like  he'd  come  from  Arkangels,  I  sink Td  die  down  over  his  feet,  humbly  dumbly,  only  to  washup.  Yes, tid.  There's  where.  First.  We  pass  through  grass  behush  the  bush to.  Whish!  A  gull.  Gulls.  Far  calls.  Coming,  far!  End  here.  Us then.  Finn,  again!  Take.  Bussoftlhee,  mememormee!  Till  thous- endsthee.  Lps.  The  keys  to.  Given!  A  way  a  lone  a  last  a  loved  a long  the
Paris, 1922-1939.

