### What this PR does / why we need it?
Part of https://github.com/vllm-project/vllm-ascend/pull/3106
Fix Hybrid kvcache sharing bug in same attention type
Change the `shared_by` logic so that the same attention spec could share
the same buffer instead of allocating more hbm.
After this pr, kvcache memory saved 50% in qwen3-next compared with
before (`self_attn:linear_attn=1:3` in an `attn_group`), and
`gpu_memory_utilization` could increase to `0.8` on Qwen3-Next when
running on A2 64G/card with tp4
<img width="2833" height="1540" alt="image"
src="https://github.com/user-attachments/assets/2a91fa99-fb0f-447c-9e8b-acd587890fbe"
/>
### Does this PR introduce _any_ user-facing change?
### How was this patch tested?
Test pass with the latest e2e test case on qwen3-next
- vLLM version: v0.11.0rc3
- vLLM main:
c9461e05a4
---------
Signed-off-by: MengqingCao <cmq0113@163.com>